Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I - Director's Cut

Special Forces #2 part 1

by Aleksandr Voinov, Marquesate, Vashtan

Special Forces Mercenaries Part I - Original Version (chapters 20-35) is available as a Goodreads Download (pdf)

Special Forces is the story of a Scottish SAS soldier and a Soviet spetsnaz soldier. Two enemies who meet in the line of duty during the early days of the Soviet Union's last war in Afghanistan. Behind enemy lines respect and finally love grow ... but that's only the official version. This epic spans across over twenty-five years of their lives. It's harsh and violent, but life is cruel and they just do what they need to survive.

Special Forces - Mercenaries is the second cycle of the Special Forces epic, which consists of three cycles and about a million words.

Special Forces is the story of a Scottish SAS soldier and a Soviet spetsnaz soldier. Two enemies who meet in the line of duty during the early days of the Soviet Union's last war in Afghanistan. Behind enemy lines respect and finally love grow ... but that's only the official version. This epic spans across over twenty-five years of their lives. It's harsh and violent, but life is cruel and they just do what they need to survive.

Special Forces - Mercenaries is the second cycle of the Special Forces epic, which consists of three cycles and about a million words.

Genres: M M Romance, Military Fiction, Romance, BDSM, Erotica, Dark, Enemies To Lovers

409 pages, ebook

First published March 24, 2010

About the author

https://aleksandrvoinov.substack.com/

Reviews

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars.

BR with Andrea.








This series is pretty heavy going at times but I'm completely addicted to it.
Dan is still hurting from events that took place in Finland and is full of anger.Vadim has been through so much but is desperate to see Dan and try and explain why he had to walk away and gets himself deployed to the camp Dan is in.

I really didn't like Dan here.
I hated the way he treat Vadim when he arrived in camp.
I hated his almost blind ignorance to what Vadim must have been feeling at times.

This book finds them enemies again but after a rescue mission things slowly start to change.They take a trip to Thailand and try and build bridges and when they arrive back in camp things seem to be definitely back on track....
But this is where my dislike for Dan went into overdrive.

They really reconnected in Thailand and seemed to fall in love all over again so what the hell was Dan doing fucking around with Jean as soon as he got his hands on him??I really didn't get it as Dan seemed to think it was ok because it was just sex.I'm sorry,but if two people are in love they shouldn't need anyone else.And then Vadim was ok with it and joined in the fuck fest!!

I'm still not sure what to make of Jean and for a straight guy he's more than comfortable getting his M/M thing going on....
And,yes,the sex scenes which are plentiful are extremely hot!!

Rant over,I still bloody love this series.Looking forward to reading the next one soon with the lovely Andrea.

[Shile (Hazard's Version) on-hiatus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Proceed with caution, this review may or may not contain spoilers

Oh boy! I feel really angry, I wanted pain but I ended up with rage! Too bad we can’t always get want we want.

There were some really good parts and some really baaaaaaaaad parts.

Sorry Moony! I couldn't resist.



5 stars for my Russkie and up to Thailand! After Thailand It all went downhill, I will give that part 1 star.

THE GOOD

Vadim’s character- This guy shines in this book, Vadim is the heart of Mercenaries, his inner thought, his dialogues and just about everything else. I love him and always will. He is very intelligent, observant, he just not social and doesn’t know how to communicate well with others. He went to hell and back in this book, first with the torture and then with his relationship with Dan.

The few intimate scenes that we got between just Dan and Vadim. They were really good.

The banter between the characters provided some much needed laugh out loud moments.

There are some words in this book that left heart melting.

The hunters couldn’t trap the tiger, try as they might, and the tiger still roams their old hunting grounds, remembering the gift of love and friendship. Lions may die, but friendship doesn’t.

“I told you, my Russkie, I won’t ever be without you again.”
You are unlike all the others, unlike anyone I shag, because when I touch you it’s not just a touch, it’s eleven years of heaven and hell

The Baroness- God bless her soul.

Thailand! Thailand! Thailand! freaking Thailand.

THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Mercenaries started all wrong, I mean, WTF was that whole bad Katya soap opera thing? Was it necessary to turn her into the typical mm villain? It was just out of place. I didn’t even hate her, just cursed the authors for that stupid stunt.



Dan’s character - Oh dear lawd! The Dan in Special Forces, Aye, is one smart, selfless, thoughtful, loving guy, who kept looking for Vadim every time he suspected something was wrong. Dan who went back to Kabul for Vadim, Dan who nursed Vadim back to life more than once.

The Dan in mercenaries is a selfish, shade wearing (mentioned 160 times, thanks Moony), porn star, who somehow depends on Jean to tell him what to do when it comes to relationship and how to act. I was like wait? Who is this Dan? This shallow dude-bro, worried about being old and fading out is not Dan. Dan as a character was a mess. Vadim deserves better that this stranger Dan! Vadim deserves SF Dan! Vadim deserves someone who cares about his mental state and not someone who tries to cure him with orgies! Dan also deserves more that being turned into mad dog (I passionately dislike that nick name). I noticed towards the end of the book, it’s like the authors realized what they did to Dan’s character, and tried to revive the old Dan back. The damage was already done.



I was ok with Dan exploring his new found sexual appetite, I didn’t have a problem with him and Jean, but that was all before Thailand. I am fine with open relationships, threesomes, foursomes, but only if both parties agree it. My problem was when they came back from Thailand and Dan went straight to Jean, offering his ass, “how do you want me” to Jean and then saying he has never done that before! That is not correct; he said those exact words to Vadim in the previous scene. Shit! I highlighted that part.

You just got back together, if you want an open relationship! Ask your partner first, don’t go making decisions for him too, You are a team now. Who are you Dan? You can’t be this selfish. Yes, I know Vadim goes along with it, the problem is, he did it for Dan! Dan sets everything in motion without consulting Vadim and Vadim just went with it, because it was the only way not to lose Dan. That pissed me off.

And Jean is a manipulative little shit. Yeah! and he is straight! Laaaaaawd!



As much as the authors want to try and convince me that Dan and Vadim’s love is intact and it is true love, I have a hard time believing that. What I read is different, especially the scenes between Dan and Jean after Thailand, those are not JUST sex scenes; they are scenes between two people who have feelings for each other and not just as friends. Dan is feeling something for Jean, he even admits to liking Jean a lot; and Jean is falling in love with Dan and Dan is letting him.

Vadim and Hooch, damn! This hurts because these two got mad chemistry, it was fire from the moment they met, I felt really bad because it was like betraying the Dan and Vadim I knew in SF. And that scene, at the end, that was a start of something, and it is funny because Dan felt it too and was a tiny bit jealous.

We now have Dan and Vadim, and Jean and Hooch as the side guys.

Can someone please explain to me, how this is True Love! Because if it is!



After Thailand it was no longer an Epic Love story, just sex scenes, twosomes, threesomes, foursomes. It was hot porn, if you think you have watched gay porn and think you know, you know nothing my people.

Aye! I was warned, I didn’t listen, but I am glad I got to experience it on my own.

Long story short long! I freaking wrote a long review. The Dan and Vadim we knew in SF are long gone. If you want a well written angst story with a tiny bit of romance, read the 1st part and stop after Thailand. Then again, If you are in the mood for porn without plot continue to the end.

I may or may not read the rest of the series, for now, I surrender!



Thank you so much Jan, Moony and Xia for the buddy read and for being the best affordable therapists.

[Baba · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review completed October 25, 2012



"LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE."

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
- by Friedrich Nietzsche -

4.5 stars.

I've read the original version in August 2011. First read of the Director's Cut in October 2012.

It f@@@ing hurts when two men who love each other are drowning in reciprocal pain and don't know how to take their finger out of their asses and act…come on…do something…just talk already…just do anything to stop hurting each other!! It's so incredibly frustrating and painful to no end to witness time and again that men are not able or not willing enough to communicate. *pulls hair* *screams* Ugh! Yeah, what could you have expected from two majorly f@@@ed up individuals anyhow?



"It does not matter what you did, nor when you broke, and neither why. The things you wanted – the greed – that's been and gone. Done and buried. You're here. You've paid the highest price. Yourself." --Dan

Mercs I is the second book in the Special Forces series which spans twenty five years in the lives of Scottish SAS soldier, Dan, and Soviet Spetsnaz soldier, Vadim. Soldiers just blew me away. It was so incredibly rewarding as well as emotional to see how Dan and Vadim's relationship evolved and something evil turned into something soulful and beautiful.

Well, I'd be lying if I'd say that I could relate to certain decisions or actions the characters took. With that said, this epic is fiction and writing engrossing characters as well as a compelling plot demand particular and somewhat unnerving ideas--sometimes to the extreme. One thing's for sure, though, Mercs I is an emotional roller coaster. Emotions like anguish, pain, sadness, frustration, love and happiness washed over me like an avalanche. I never bite my nails but Mercs I is a nail-biter par excellence. While reading this cycle you're going to want to scream, pull your hair, hit something, hit something again…and then there is pure bliss as well. Some quotes, the rooftop conversation and the Thailand part will soothe your tarnished soul. In fact, I closed this part of the SF epic with a smile on my face.

Knowing he didn't truly beg, not on his knees, not for his life, not for his pride, but whatever he'd say would only truly be 'I love you more than I can say, than I can even think and what you give me takes my breath away, but breathing is overrated when I can kiss you'. --Vadim

Vadim
Holy cow. The beginning of this cycle was all about pain...more pain...anguish...torture. It hurt to see that this stoic and proud man crumbled into nothingness.
I liked to learn more about Vadim. In Soldiers he was too detached and withdrawn for my liking. Slowly yet steadily he becomes more accessible, he is opening up, even though he still has to struggle with his feelings and he doesn't want to talk about his captivity. Then again, I resent that he did not get "proper" therapy yet. He really needed that after the physical and mental torture. What would happen in real life? Would a government send a seriously f@@@ed up man like Vadim in a war zone? I *think* that a disaster would be preprogrammed. Whatever. It's not up to me to judge though.

The little chats with Dr. Williams are just that…chats--no more, no less. It left me somewhat dissatisfied. As a matter of fact, the reader has to wait till Veterans and even then it didn't do anything for me. Instead of involving Dan as well, Vadim went away, no contact whatsoever. I really would have loved to "see" what the therapy was all about. Writing down what happened when he was tortured…that's about it. It was all about telling (and not enough telling, by the way) and not enough showing. I was and still am not happy about that part of the story. I think it was a lost opportunity.



Dan…Dan…Dan…became Mad Dog.
Let's just say that I have to take up the cudgels for Dan. As it is, I'm going to support the underdog. I am by far not a Bible reader, however, I think everyone knows the saying "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Yup. Dan made mistakes. I was not pleased either. Yet Dan will always have a special place in my heart because I'm willing to look beyond his mistakes and shortcomings. He really changed when Vadim left without a word, without a goodbye. Dan was willing to give him space and time to recover, however, he never got this chance to be there for him. Poof. He just vanished. All things considered, Dan becoming Mad Dog is understandable from my point of view. It was his way of coping with a bottomless pain. Almost unbearable. He didn't know how to go on anymore and that's the reason he went to the Persian Gulf, fighting in a hellhole to numb his pain and accepting suicide missions.



I understand that Vadim was (is) devoid of emotion and mentally broken, totally besides himself. But don't you think that those who are left behind suffer as much as those who have been tortured? I believe the level of pain is the same, although it's different but in the end people like Dan will suffer from the fallout in equal parts.

Dan having sex with other guys is just what it is. Sex. Blowing steam off. It's not about love and there is no emotional bonding. He loves Vadim. Vadim is his life, his blood, his soul and vice versa. Nothing reached Dan as deeply as Vadim. Not even the much-loved Jean (I'm being sarcastic). When Dan had sex with other men he had to eradicate the image of another man in his head. Well, we all know which man.

Dan wanted to cry out, or scream and yell and destroy with fists and boots. Anything, anything at all to break through the onslaught of emotions, but all he had was his lips, two arms, and one hand. Tongue, teeth, as well, and the most gut wrenching sensation of feeling, physical, mental, gathering deep in his guts, spreading and searing through his body, traveling across blood. 'Vadim', it hammered through his being, 'Vadim. Alive. Vadim' And he was lost. The kiss taking on intensity within nothing but heartbeats, as he tried to swallow sounds, bite down on taste, and crawl right into the other's body. Taking possession. Owning. Wanting. --Dan

The Good
The beginning of Mercs I is seriously amazing. Action-packed. Thrilling. Fantastic. And then there was this incredible mind f@ck (the torture and trial and mock execution and of course the conniving Katya bitch). Oh my, the clock was ticking and they were running out of time.

Manly tears are so intensely beautiful. Loved them!

There's something to say about a heart-to-heart…loved the rooftop scene between Dan & Vadim. It was vey emotional.

--Dan
"If I touched you now, would you never leave me again?" There was so much hope in his voice, it hurt like hell.
(…)
--Vadim
…..He reached for Dan's injured hand, opened the fingers and placed the bullet into the palm. "I mean this." Then thought Dan wouldn't get it. Wrestled with the words in English, but he was never sure he said what he wanted to say, anyway. "This is the bullet you'll use to kill me if I walk away again." Because if I walk away again, I'll be in so much pain I'm better off dead."

Furthermore, the very best part was their R&R in Thailand and Dubai. Simply beautiful. Pure bliss. No real hot kissing up till the 80 % mark. WTF? Lol Well, it was worth the wait though. Seriously hot kissing went hand in hand with some very intense and passionate m-m lovin'. DEE-lish! As always I truly enjoyed the Baroness de Vilde (Maggie). She showed tremendous support and understanding when Dan was in a very dark place in the beginning of the plot. And she apologized to Vadim for being too thoughtless when he was "thrown" into a Welcome Home Party. A lady of true class. I bow to you, my lovely. The interactions between Vadim, Dan and Maggie were so well done and adorable. Oh, Dan can be a real charmer. So sweet.

The Bad
Jean. Er…Jean. Hmmm…Jean. You get the gist…Jean. I think Jean is an opportunist. A devious opportunist. He tells Vadim to flirt with Dan but at the same time he wants to jump Dan's bones. WTF?
Dan having sex with Matt and Jean.
Honestly, what Vadim did with Matt was serious s*it and it was hard to believe. He implied that he raped him coz he wanted Dan to kill him. Vadim's behavior shocked me but then again, Dan's reaction when he freaked out shocked me as well.



SF has gotten under my skin. Irrevocably. It's addictive, soul-shattering, exhausting and frustrating all at the same time. This epic touched me in a very special way, and these two guys are on my mind. Forever.

********************************

This was my first read of the Director's Cut and I was wondering if a part of the original version which I read in August 2011 has been cut out and added to Mercs II?? Because I wrote in my original review:


Dan, I have to tell you that I didn't appreciate you saying this: "He won't touch anyone again, ever. I vouch for that." That's absolutely ok, and I agree! But here it comes…"But I won't stop what I'm doing. If I get the chance, I'll have sex. I have eleven years of monogamy to make up for." WTF?

And I don't approve that Dan is reduced to needless sex scenes. He deserves better. Then again, it's the author's decision not mine.

On the other hand, Dan said something I really loved: "I love you, Russkie, you know that. You mean the beginning and the end to me, and all that is in between. You are life and death and every single breath, but..." Dan paused, tried to gather his thoughts while fighting against the tiredness, "but that's why I don't get why it's a problem that I share bodily fluids with others." Before Vadim could reply to his last words, he added, "if it hurts you, and if you don't want me to, I won't do it. Okay? You're more important than anyone or anything else. If you can't stand it, I won't fu** with others. I'll be exclusively yours if you absolutely want me to. Alright? (…..) "You sure? Because if you're not, I'll tell everybody I'm not available." No matter how little Dan could understand it, he wouldn't...just wouldn't. Too dedicated to just one man.

Unfortunately Vadim didn't tell him to stop.

[Julio Genao · Rating 3 out of 5]

Absurdly entertaining.

It felt like two different books. The first: an astounding story of endurance and sacrifice and love. The second... an astounding story of endurance and sacrifice and love... plus fucking.

It features a fatal helicopter crash, which requires a coded radio conversation to coordinate a rescue, which critically hinges upon a previous episode of fistfucking in an Afghani cave.

Which was the single most romantic thing I have read to date.

So.

Yeah.

It's not the novel I thought it was.

It's the novel that it is, and I want more.

[Rosalinda *KRASNORADA* · Rating 5 out of 5]

***REVIEW TO COME***

Just a quick thought about the end... I like angsty endings, happy ones when there are more books in the series is not fun but I loved this sooooooo freaking much that I cannot give this book less than 5 stars



-------------
I know this book will destroy me but right now I feel like a drug addict and this book is like the best hash from Morocco.

[Blacky *Romance Addict* · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Once upon a time, a mountain lion and a tiger escaped a circus..."





I'm just so high right now with the ending, that I'll overlook all the heartbreak the first half of the book brought me. While Soldiers ripped my heart out with the emotional intensity, in Mercenaries I ripped my hair out from the frustration! I have to say, I wanted to use a club and bash some of the characters!



*Do not read this if you haven't read Special Forces: Soldiers!*



The story

It picks up right after the ending of Soldiers (and boy am I glad this wasn't in the first book as the original version!). Vadim is kidnapped and Dan barely makes it out alive. He soon finds out that Vadim is in prison and accused of betraying his country.

This part was terrible. I cried non-stop. Just seeing Dan and his depression, how he fought for Vadim's life... Very sad. Then there was Vadim in prison. My God. Just f-ing awful. And the tiger-lion story? Sadness. Total sadness. I sobbed at that one.

The next part of the story was kind of weird to read because it is written differently than the rest. A very large part of it was divided. Vadim in Sweden and his training, and Dan in Iraq. Maybe it would be easier if it was frequently switched between them, but for me, those sections were just too big with only one character.

Anyway, I preferred Vadim's part of the story and his training, how he slowly began to heal. Just felt so bad for him. Damn.

Then came the part when Vadim came to Iraq. Oh boy. Very very bad. I felt even worse for him. Won't go anymore into details, this is too much spoiling as it is lol

"If I am going crashing down, I’ll take Dan with me. His life is mine. It cannot be separated. We are like Siamese twins, sharing heart of a killer."

Vadim

Definitely #1 :D He's just such a complex character... Sometimes so dark, and sometimes so full of love for Dan it's almost unbelievable. In this book, he did a total transformation. And it was so difficult to read. His spirit was broken. His mind, his soul. Just terrible. He even lost his love for Dan, and that was the anchor he had in life. Dan WAS his life. So I totally understand what made him back away. No one could remain even slightly normal after that kind of torture. I was so glad he started the training! Happy to see him get better (even though it was not much, but a progress anyway). The nightmares... No. The flashbacks... No, no. The way he was treated after he came to Dan. F*cking NO! Thinking of suicide... *sob* Nooo.

"...He stared into Dan’s face and thought you’ll never know. I’ll drown in my own blood, will never breathe again, but you’ll never know."

And then the scene at the roof-top. Beautiful. Finally some communication between them. The ending <3 I just hope he'll be able to get better <3

"Dan was death and life, water and emotion. Battling that emotion, mourning, sadness. Love could hurt like a motherfucker, he thought, because that was it, just human, unlikely, impossible, a kind of love that defeated him at every corner, every turn. Relief. Not giving up."

Dan

I just loved him in Soldiers. Well, both of them actually :) Their love is just something special :) He's reckless, endangering his life just to spend some more moments with Vadim. Crazy guy. And the beginning here? Man. I just felt terrible for him. Knowing that Vadim is in prison. Being tortured in who knows what ways. Being sentenced to death. That was just terrible to read. Terrible. Cried every minute of it. And his tiger-lion story? Love! Don't think I'll ever forget that. When he trashed his place after the execution... Sad. When two f*cking years passed after they last saw each other???... Very very sad. Vadim's release, and Dan being so happy... That was pretty sad to read too. Just uber-emotional. And I understand, after Vadim disappeared, Dan had to bail too. I totally get it. It was two years of angst on his part, waiting for Vadim, finally getting him, and then losing him all over again. So yeah, go to Iraq on some suicide missions.
BUT! When he saw Vadim again? No. Big no. The worst reaction possible. His treatment of Vadim through out the time they were there? F*ck no! Just can't figure out how little understanding he has for what happened to Vadim. Did he expect the man would be absolutely normal after two years in a Russian prison? Hmmmmm. His screwing around? Whatever. Wasn't really mad about that part. I get it.
Again: BUT! After the promise Vadim gave him, the effing bullet!!! He still f*cked around with all on legs. WTF?
Still, he made up for it in the end. Realised he didn't really understand Vadim, and that he reacted the wrong way and all. Finally.
And Mad Dog? Seriously? Bad nickname.

"He reached for Dan’s injured hand, opened the fingers and placed the bullet into the palm. “I mean this.” Then thought Dan wouldn’t get it. Wrestled with the words in English, but he was never sure they said what he wanted to say. “This is the bullet you’ll use to kill me if I walk away again.” Because if I walk away again, I’ll be in so much pain I’m better off dead."

Jean

I... don't hate him. Yes, stone me right now. He just got on my nerves a lot, when he showed up, and was all against Vadim with Dan. Gah! But I kinda got that Dan was his friend, and maybe the reason I don't hate his guts is exactly that, he was never after Dan's heart, so not really a competition for Vadim. And I LOVE the fact that he gave Vadim some advice heheheh first to start with the flirting, and then to take him on vacation :) So yeah, I guess I'm one of the few who doesn't want to kill him. He's just OK to me. Don't love but don't hate either.



Katya

Is this the same character from Soldiers? Hmmmm. I don't know. I don't think so? Hmmm again. Don't really get what was the point in the book, that scene with her and Dan. To get some sympathy for Dan? Definitely. But other than that it didn't make much sense to me. Maybe we're supposed to hate her? Mission accomplished! But still. She was kinda nice in the first book. Very very understanding. Why she would want another child with XY is anyone's guess. Just don't get it (yes, again).



The ending was just PERFECT! Thailand/Dubai <3 Every scene was beautiful!

I don't want to read more. I don't want it to get bad :( Gaaah. But of course, I'll have to. Damn.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Swear to god that my buddies and I have read the same book.

Moony, DNF 2 Stars.
Shile, 3 Stars.

But alas, allow me to present to you a different perspective.



Special Forces - Mercenaries Part I hit me hard.



There were quite a few moments where I had to swallow hard. Emotional scenes in the story that really put me through the wringer.



My highlights:

1) Vadim in captivity, tortured and his flashbacks.



2) The mock execution for both of them.



3) The scene where Dan falls apart trashing his room.



4) Vadim being released, completely destroyed.



5) Vadim’s training. Never thought I would love to follow A SAS training progress. I devoured that chapter. It was incredibly done.



6) What Vadim did to Matt to reach a calculated end.



7) Dan's fury about that.



8) The rooftop conversation.



9) All the times Vadim said something but was thinking something else he wasn’t brave enough to say. It added so much dimension to his character.



10) The baroness apologizing to Vadim.



11) The sweets moment in Thai.



12) Their sexual roleplay, so pure in its essence.



13) The sex scene between Jean and Dan after Thailand.



14) And finally, how could I not mention the hot moments. The porn was first class.



A thrilling, engrossing and devastating story.

Absolutely loved it.

**Thank you girls for listening to all my crap.

[Moony Eliver · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 76%, with extreme prejudice and heartbreak.

To set the stage, there were ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SIX mentions of Dan's shades in this book.

Beneath the shades, Dan's eyes were wide with surprise.

Dan grinned, picked up his shades and slipped them on.

The shades clattered onto the ground.

Dan looked up, readjusting his shades.

He slowly pushed the shades up, baring his dark eyes.

Dan even forgot his shades when he stormed off.

I won't include the other 160. You're welcome.

There's a reason I bring this up, and it's not only to highlight the word repetition problem. The first volume also had that issue (though it was smirks, not shades), and I completely forgave it. The reason I complain now is because the shades were roughly the extent of Dan's characterization in this volume, and that, I can't forgive.

In Soldiers, Dan was nuanced. He was a strong, street smart, resourceful badass. Didn't spend his free time reading the classics but was never portrayed as even remotely unintelligent. He could joke, but he ultimately took things seriously. He started as a homophobe, slowly came to terms with his sexuality, fell in love, and moved mountains to demonstrate his commitment.

In Mercenaries, he was painted as an aging bag of scars whose deepest thoughts were about dessert. He had the maturity and presence of a 14 year old. Oh, and he wore shades. The book didn't start out with him portrayed quite as bad as all this, but it ramped up (down?) more and more, and by about 70%, he had settled into that damn flat cartoon but good.

But then it got even worse. I am not going to spoiler, but the story took a turn which was ridiculously sideways, completely out of character, and effectively took the story I'd fallen in love with and ripped it to shreds right in front of my face.

Teal has said to me that they felt like this volume read like bad fanfic of the first. I'll go with a little different angle — to me it felt like a terrible spinoff. Vadim was taken and dropped into a different story, with different writing, and different other characters. Vadim was (usually) still Vadim, and he even evolved and started to gain further depth. He is up there among the best characters I've ever read. I was rooting for and wanting to bear hug this rapist on the regular, y'all. I would feel gutted when he fell back to his violent tendencies, my whole body was tense and committed to his growth. But he was with a completely different man.

Thank you to the peeps I read all or some of these two books with — I love you all, and discussing stories with you is one of my favorite things in life! Jan Shile Hollis Xia Jude

[Rina Pride · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'LL PRETEND THIS STORY ENDS AT THE END OF THE VACATION IN THAILAND. JUST LIKE THAT TO CONFORM ME.

The book was 4 stars until the end of the vacation in Thailand, then it was just a sad downfall that doesn't even deserve a 0.

The first book was one of the most badass and intense things I've read, Dan and Vadim shine. Dan WAS an interesting character, but then the authors decided to turn Dan into an extreme Porno hub + XX videos character, a true SELFISH PUTIANE. I felt sorry for Vadim in that book, Dan couldn't understand his own mate's problem, Dan took all this shit like a fucking endless bitching movie.

What the fuck... I get pissed off when authors ruin a story that had everything to stay cool, but they had to write on the basis of the handjob. Only explanation for all this shit here.

The book started by making Katya a good motherfucker, then came interesting moments and it was interesting until the end of Vadim and Dan's vacation in Thailand. Then the authors had a mental fuck and decided to throw all the content that made it interesting in the raloooo.

Vadim evolved in this book, but Dan was a huge disappointment. Such a disappointment that I don't even know if I'm going to continue this. I don't have the motivation to read another 700 pages watching great characters get spoiled.

I'm sorry for Vadim and Dan from the first book, they didn't deserve to have their stories spoiled by the authors' fetishes.

[Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Now this is really something. Make my 3 star rating a mix of a perfectly awesome 5 stars worthy beginning (and 5 stars to Vadim, LOVE YOU SO MUCH, my one and ONLY Russkie!!), to a downright bad 1 star ending.

I guess it's my own fault. I'm a romance reader, as in 'I love characters who fall for each other and build a life together'. Dan and Vadim were both awesome characters who managed to keep me interested, especially after Soldiers and the first quarter of this book.

HOWEVER, this story is like an anti romance that continues where other happily ever after endings end and shows where a relationship could turn bad - and sometimes does in real life. 

There are so many things wrong with this story, it's hard to pick what's the worst thing to begin with. Spoilers beware ;-)

I think it all sums up with: Dan.

Dan, who acts like a whining princess when Vadim breaks down after years in prison, facing the shards of his shattered mind. Poor Dan. Of course you're the victim, not Vadim, who was tortured in a KGB prison!!!!!!

Dan who let Vadim walk away. Not even searching for him. Vadim might have ended up frozen to death in Finland, but does Dan care? No, he runs to Mommy de Vilde and has his ass transferred to the 'most dangerous place in the world' to forget about Vadim's selfish and cruel behavior. I hate you so much, Dan!

Dan who completely ignores Vadim's wounds, with the excuse being 'Hey, I'm not an intellectual. How would I know what's wrong with you?'

Dan who doesn't acknowledge what Vadim went through to return to him.

Dan who thinks that his relationship with Vadim is born out of eternal love that was nourished during years of being lovers and enemies, but not realizing that Vadim is actually broken and doesn't have a home, a family, a career, not even a nation he can return to. He only has Dan, which after this book seems like the worst kind of punishment. Maybe he should have chosen that bullet after all.  

Dan who almost killed Vadim in rage when Vadim lost all hope and tried to force him into a weird 'suicide by cop' situation.

Dan, who cheats on Vadim behind his back. With numerous guys. All of them at least 10 years younger, of course. A man needs to have some fun, right? Besides, they're friends, so what?  And what a shit attitude Vadim has, not understanding Dan's urges, until he gives in and indulges in them himself, since he obviously can't have Dan exclusively, encouraged -again - by Dan, of course. Great Dan, you really achieved something here, mindfucking Vadim worse than Konstantinov during those dark years in prison.

Dan, who forces the insecure Vadim to start having other lovers and threesomes with him, just because 'sex is fun'.

Dan who loves swallowing cum and seems to simply believe everyone who says 'oh, don't worry, I'm clean' (which is like 'famous last words' for gay men, especially in the early 90s when AIDS wasn't even treatable...)

Dan, who tries to force Vadim to be an out and proud gay man in Britain, even though Vadim has deep routed insecurities and fears, not just as a result from the torture, but from growing up in the Soviet union. But does Dan want talk about it with Vadim? No, he just runs over Vadim and punishes him with silence.

I liked Matt, Jean, Hooch and even those two kids near the end. It wasn't their fault Dan is such a whore. And I liked how Vadim opened up and started to have feelings for other guys too. I'm kinda hoping he'll find someone else who is more loyal and understanding than Dan, but seeing as this is a series about Dan and Vadim, this doesn't seem likely. 

Dan is not a relationship guy and I'm sorry to see an awesome character like Vadim wasted on an idiot like him. A threesome is perfectly alright. I even don't mind them having sex with others -as long as no one suffers and nothing is done behind the other's back. But this life style?! Seeking sex as often as possible with as many different guys as possible? For the rest of their lives, until they're too old to be attractive for the younger hunks?

What kind of life is that? 
What love could survive that?
Jean and Hooch are already way more than fuck buddies to Dan and Vadim. I just don't see the point of all this, except that Dan tries to 'cure' Vadim's insecurities with brute force. And he knows that Vadim depends on him and owes him his life. So of course he can do anything he likes to his Russkie.  I hate him for that.

And on top of all, Vadim seems to think he owes Dan 250,000 pounds for his freedom!! As if that was all Dan's money and not the government's.

Aargh, this is all so fucked up!!!


Still this book, like the first one, is insanely well written and it's addictive like heroin. I'll definitely keep on reading the series, hoping that Dan will suffer for what he's doing to his partner.

I'm channeling a young Vadim here ;-)

Considering I kinda hate where the storyline is going, this definitely shows the author's skills.

Oh, and to gay readers: You'll hardly find better quality word porn than this. These guys are pure porn actors, you can hardly find sexier scenes than what's going on in that merc camp. Or was it a porn set after all?

However, if you don't like promiscuity and cheating, stay away from this and don't ever go near it.....

Chances are you still feel the need to read it and make yourself suffer through more than 800 pages of endless sex in all possible combinations you could ever imagine ;-)

It is incredibly well written after all. The writing gets the full five stars!!!

[Sun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Apparently at some point in my life, I had decided to entrust my heart to Aleksandr Voinov (The Genius) and said, “Here, have it…” To which, he replied, “Come, Susan. Read Special Forces: Mercenaries (Part I) and let me feed your heart through a meat grinder”.

Where Soldiers gruelingly and meticulously took us through the birth and development of the love story between Dan and Vadim, Mercenaries threw every possible grenade at that love to see if it could last. I felt like I was in battle. I carefully peeked past each new page to make sure I was prepared for what The Genius would throw at me next. And no matter how much I braced myself, each new attack caught me off guard and I wanted to scream “Retreat! Retreat! Retreat back to “Soldiers” and don’t press forward!”

From the prologue (what a freaking prologue!), to broken Vadim, to the “Dan-whore” period , to the gut-wrenching shower scene where V & D spill their most painful emotions out, to the perfectly crafted helicopter rescue/radio conversation, to the most romantic times in Thailand, to the very last word, I was CAPTURED, wrung-out.

This is not a joy ride. This is hard and it’s painful and it’s a work of art. (Though I’m starting to think that The Genius hates me and wants to see me suffer.)

Oh, and it’s officially “Vadim and Dan” now, not the other way around. You got some groveling to do, Dan, to win me back…

Next up: Mercenaries Part 2…terrified but trying to get through this so my heart can go back to being whole again. You know that saying “the calm before the storm…”??? Yup…on to chapter 30…do I dare?

UPDATED REVIEW: I got confused w/ the Director’s Cuts. I thought Merc Pt 1 ended at Chapter 30…but oh HELL no it didn’t. Additional review points in italics…

Ch 31-36 were some of the most gut-wrenching, heart-aching reads I’ve ever experienced. Dan’s behavior after Thailand/Dubai destroyed me and literally affected my mood even in real life. I felt sad & depressed and my heart physically hurt as if I took on what I thought would be Vadim’s pain. What I kept wondering was “Does it have to take this much? Do they have to EARN this HEA?” …and finally, “WHY are you such an F’ing idiot, Dan?” And I felt like I was reading on thin ice, waiting for it to break.

The subsequent chapters, which I call the “Orgy Days”, riddled with ménages, V/D/Matt, V/D Jean, V/D/Matt/Hooch, V/D/Scottish Dudes…let’s all blow, fuck, handjob, cuddle, and watch each other. It started to piss me off. I worried it devalued the love between Vadim & Dan. However, it was exactly what I needed at the time to pull myself back together. I was wrecked for awhile and all of this nonsense brought it back into perspective: V&D are broken people and their extra-curricular “activities” didn’t mean they didn’t love each other.

[Literatures Movies · Rating 2 out of 5]

What. A. Fucking. Mess.

This book was all over the place.



What with Dan being a selfish bitch, and doing everything in his power to make everything as difficult as he can for Vadim. and with Jean acting like some side-hoe that wants to be the main-hoe but fails, yet still unwilling to buckle.

I don't understand Dan at all in this book. It is as if the man I have come to love and adore in Soldier just vanished into thin air and instead be replaced by this vile childish piece of crap.

From the very beginning, reading this book was hard because Vadim and Dan spend so much time apart, but I persevered and pushed on because I believed in their love and their willingness to want to make things work. But the more I read the book, the more it started to turn into something like a high school soap opera than a story about war and soldiers and love.

I don't know what this book has turned to. And I think after giving it as much chances as I can possibly give; I read 50% of it, and this book was 1500 pages long, and I did not enjoy any single moment of it – if that shit is not love and me believing that they can pull through, then I don't know what is.

I have tried and tried and tried again, but this book failed to capture my interest. For me, the story of Vadim and Dan ended in book one. I want to remember them like that. Loving, willing to die and do anything for the other, not like what they have become in this book. It is painful and deeply nauseating to see what have become of what might be my favorite two characters, but time passes and life moves on and it is what it is.

I might in the future try to pick this book up again and give it another re-read (maybe I'll get more patient with age? who knows). But for now, I am moving on from this series.


For more of my reviews, click : here

[h o l l i s · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started writing this review at the sixty percent mark. That is never a good sign.

So, listen. I rounded up on SOLDIERS because I saw enough greatness to want more. And I guess I also expected that greatness to continue. But alas..

There's probably like.. 14.97% of this instalment that is maybe four star worthy. But that leaves so much (seriously, so much) that just isn't. Between the lack of editing and less-than-polished scenes and/or exchanges via dialogue, some completely pointless chapters (looking at you, thirty, ffs), conversations of endless nothing, not to mention the thing that happens in the latter half of this book (fucking nope, I don't care that it resolved itself, I didn't like the journey) that also had an unfortunate side-effect of making me, for the first time ever, dislike -- though only briefly -- my favourite psycho cinnamon roll.. after all that, even though half of the issues were present in the first book, I just can't believe this is the same story.

I thought MERCENARIES : PART ONE to be totally lacklustre when compared to book one (which I thought was gritty and brutal and tense and, despite from my complaints, such a wild ride). It was also frustrating on a personal level because of things I'm going to be vague about. And how the last half just becomes, like, a total orgy of sex.

"If I touched you, that'd be it."

There was, though, some payoff that I did really enjoy in the early half -- even if it didn't go the way I thought the story was going after the brutal cliffhanger that was SOLDIERS. So, I mean, there's one good thing?

Breathing is overrated when I can kiss you.

There are a few five star, just wow, lines hidden amongst all the rough (one chapter in particular was a total lovely highlight fest for me) and up until the last thirty-odd percent (almost all of which was completely pointless and useless and just why), despite the star rating and the majority of my feelings (and that part), I really thought I was still in this. That I was invested. But now..? After that last half where the characters that had me rooting for them in book one, no matter what fucked up terrible shit they did; those broken and then on-their-way-to-healed, yet still ultimately irrevocably damaged characters.. those characters? They seem to be gone now. I don't know where they went. They've left very little trace. Only mere glimmers seem to remain and in their stead are over-sexed cartoon caricatures and that is not what I was in this for.

"Our whole past sounds like a fucking comedy." <-- fucking what? Did we read the same story? I wasn't laughing!

Having said all that, though. I buddy-read this with Moony (again!) and that experience was an easy five stars. I loved the discussion, (failed) predictions, swooning (yes there were some moments worth swooning over, and even one or two to giggle about) and overall just sharing our thoughts and reactions. It's weird to not love something but love talking about it, even love talking shit about the things that pissed us off (in his back and dear god the shades why..) but I do buddy-reads very infrequently and they are all, in their own way, special. This was no exception. So, yeah, will I continue? Undecided. But if Moony pushes on, I will. No pressure, girl!

"You bear the scars of my revenge and I wear mine."

Personally I wish I could just take book one (faults and all), delete that final scene, and paste in the majority of Thailand as an epilogue, and call it a day.

[LenaRibka · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 HUGE HEARTBREAKING STARS!!!

And THAT were my thoughts at the end of this part...



First I decided to rate Mercenaries Part 1 after reading the Part II, but I changed my mind.
Because I have that strange feeling in my stomach according the second part, name it my sick premonition.

Soldiers took my breath away. There are no words to describe what this book did to me. I was overwhelmed with emotions and intensity of the relationship between Dan and Vadim. I was lost somewhere in the middle space between my real world and the enchanting lines of this cruel, disturbing, stunning and unbelievably beautiful love story, violent and ravishing at the same. I was emotionally exhausted. I was crying reading it...



Mercenaries has another pace, different kind of telling...

I don’t want to compare this two books, it is not fair, because the life goes on and the story goes on and it is not always how we’d like things to be.
I've asked myself many times during reading: how the story might have been if...



What if Vadim wouldn’t have left Dan in Pakistan, what if he wouldn't captured by KGB in Kabul, what if he wouldn’t have run away in Finland...What if...If...If...

I was not less emotionally exhausted as I was after Soldiers. But it was different form of exhaustion. There were not just zillions of IF, there were also thousands of WHY and I have racked my brain with questions even days after I was finished with this part.



Mercenaries Part I is about BEING HURT. About joy. About pain. Not the physical pain. It is about the mental pain. Oh man, I know where my heart beats!..
This part is about life. Strange sometimes and not easy to deal with. It is about DAN and VADIM. I screamed out of despair over the things going on between them, over their inability to communicate, over so many misunderstandings! Dan's unwillingness to forgive and to understand the certain things at the beginning made me sick! And then came Thailand. The best part in the book for me. For this moment, OH GOD, I was longing for it. I wanted them sooo bad to be together that it almost hurt! This moment was worth of all my sufferings, sorrow and pain!..

"Two and half years of pain and hope, fighting and loss. Love, longing, hatred and confusion, all culminating in this, right now, touch, scent and taste. Tearing at fabric, clawing at Vadim's body, knowing each angle and plane, remapping the terrain while desperately trying to feel more. Dan wanted to rip the other open to envelop himself within skin and flesh, until their hearts beat in sync, inseparable. The sounds he made were full of distress, it was too much, wanting everything at once, and couldn't ever get enough."

I think I have never read something like this before. This incredibly addictive combination of lust and pain, love and need, tenderness and power, hate and passion, joy and sadness...This series, this book, this authors deserve much more than 5 stars because of all this deep emotions I am not able to describe...

The second part of Mercenaries ...
I am afraid to read it. Yeah...I need to read it, I want to read it, because I can’t put it simply away, NO WAY!
I am absolutely not able now to give up this deep inner bonding, this almost painful connection to Dan and Vadim and I am so fu*ing scared to lose them, to lose this profound fascination of their amazing love, to lose the magic of the first book, Soldiers!...

I am standing at the door of a very dark and cold room, I don’t know what is inside. I don’t know who is inside. I am just f*ing scared…..



I am an emotional mess at the moment...

[Allison ❤️Will Never Conquer Her TBR❤️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect! 5+++ stars!





Mercenaries I is almost impossible to review without spoiling it. Something happens within the first few pages that sets the storyline for the entire book. Needless to say, I loved it.


Dan McFayden is an ex-SAS soldier, now a mercenary. Special Forces is the long, torturous 25-year love story between him and Soviet Spetsnaz soldier Vadim Krasnorada. The series is not for the faint of heart. It's brutally intense, graphic at times, and elicits and all-encompassing rock-your-world experience while reading it. I'm not finished and I clearly know this is something special, a series I will weigh many future books against. Amazing that it's written by three different authors. The storyline is flawlessly even-paced, the writing almost poetic at times.





Dan was the highlight for me in this book. In the first book, he was very angry intense and coming to terms with his sexuality and twisted desire for his enemy soldier Vadim. In Mercenaries, Dan is very angry, for different reasons I will not tell, yet has accepted his being gay, confident, heroic at times, and just plain endearing to me. He puts it out there for anyone and I respect that.





Vadim broke my heart in this book. He endures something profoundly damaging to his psyche and I just wanted to make him whole again...make him all better. Although he does some ruthless stuff to innocent women and children in Soldiers, he's gradually redeeming himself as time passes. He's not as open with his feelings as Dan, but when he does open up, it's touching.







Special Forces is the equivalent of 15 full length novels but I'm plowing through them. The characters are written with such clarity that the reader is fully invested in their story...their struggles, strife, lust, and love. It's seriously all-encompassing.


I know the series length can be intimidating to conquer but the great story we get is our prize. Loving every minute of it...even if it makes me cry. Seriously, the first half ripped my heart to shreds.



**Again, Baba, thanks for holding my hand along this journey.


And I thank you!

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

*****Review contains spoilers******

This book is far more difficult to review than the first. I'm having a hard time separating my personal preferences from the actual content of the book. Maybe I should call this a rant and not a review, LOL.

A few words come to mind when thinking of this book. One word ANGER, all towards Dan (and Jean)! The other, compassion and strength all towards Vadim!

So I can't say how much I hate how Dan treated Vadim in this book. Vadim is taken a prisoner of war by the KGB, his own country because of his love for Dan. Two years in isolation, he loses everything, Dan, his family, his mind, his soul and all reason to live. Dan works night and day to free Vadim and when that day finally happens, Vadim can't handle the stimulation overload. Ah, no wonder? He was tortured and left alone to believe he was a degenerate and that everything he felt for Dan was wrong and dirty. Vadim did everything he could to hold onto his memories but he was left empty and didn't know how to deal with it so he ran.

Dan, in this book was way too dense for me. You would think he would try to understand what Vadim has been dealing with but he really didn't. At least not enough for me. This is not the same Dan even if he is Mad Dog now. I won't diminish what Dan went through, he lost Vadim twice and that killed him on so many levels so I understand how he had to protect himself and go on. I did feel Dan's pain and I understood how he had to find comfort through sex from other men. I get it but once Vadim is back in the picture and they both decide to begin to heal their relationship, Dan still doesn't give up his little side dishes. For what, sex? So what if he only had one guy, it's not like he didn't screw around before Vadim.

I mentioned anger before, well that doesn't cut it. I wanted to hurt Dan, still do. WTF is wrong with him! He has Vadim and he still goes knocking on Jean's door. What the hell. Now, Vadim has to deal with Dan's shit on top of his torture. Oh, and the nightmares. Fucking wake up Dan. *slap, slap, slap*

Of course Dan pulls Vadim into his multiple partner fantasies. I have to say I do have a little trouble understanding these type of relationships. However, I say as long as people are happy, all the power to them but to me it seemed that Vadim would not have followed this path and this is what bothered me the most. Yes, he did have multiple partners in the past but I thought that had ended. Maybe it's just my perception and wishful thinking on my part? I'm still trying to figure this one out. Does Vadim really want this type of life back? Would he have wanted this if Dan hadn't? Simply not sure. I still sense his uncertainty.

What impressed me the most was Vadim's courage. Feeling Vadim's pain and his struggle for gaining control of his thoughts and his mind was a real tear jerker. Once he gained some semblance of sanity back, he faced Dan and his problems head on. Vadim is the true definition of strength.

So, rating this was very difficult. I ended up with 5 stars because of all the different emotions that went through me and especially for my deeper understanding into Vadim. Of course still trying to come to terms with many of these.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mercenaries Part I is the second book in the Special Forces series which spans twenty five years in the lives of Scottish SAS soldier, Dan, and Soviet Spetsnaz soldier, Vadim. I loved and adored the first book, Soldiers. I loved how Dan and Vadim's relationship evolved and how something so fucked up could turn into something so beautiful.
… Only to turn into something really fucked up again in Mercenaries part I….

When reading this, keep reminding yourself that this is not a romance. It's a love story which in principle is romantic but the normal rules of a romance do not apply here. Combined with the horrible reality of war and the fact that the main characters are a couple of alpha males who hardly wear their hearts on their sleeves, it makes the first 80% of the book an agonizing read.

I’m serious when I say Dan and Vadim are bad for my appetite, my night rest and my blood pressure! I wanted to yell at them, shake them, maybe even punch them, just to make them see! Even though they endeared me to them at times, they frustrated me to no ends on many more occasions.

There were a lot of things I wasn’t too happy with story wise. I couldn’t relate to certain decisions or actions the characters took, but that might be due to the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic (or a conservative vanilla girl).
But my biggest problem was the fact that I feel like we’re losing Dan. While we learn more about Vadim and his internal dialog is interesting, that of Dan lacks depth, seems one dimensional and often is revolving around sex. He just seems really superficial and indifferent at times. It’s like we lost Dan when he became Mad Dog.

Reading Mercenaries Part I was like being on an emotional rollercoaster. I felt angry, happy, frustrated, sad, surprised and outraged. Which underlines the undeniable fact that the story has gotten under my skin. It moves me. Dan and Vadim are on my mind. All the time. If a book does that to you, it deserves 10 out of 5 stars.

I’m anxious to see what happens next in Mercenaries Part II.

[Sammy Loves Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an exceptional emotional journey. Dan and Vadim's saga continues, and it is one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride.

This review is Spoiler Free:

Vadim


Vadim Krasnorada and Dan McFadyen both experience a life altering traumatic event that changes each of them. The change is so extreme, that they no longer recognize the man they once loved more than life itself. They say what doesn't kill you make's you stronger.

Dan was so emotionally broken that he ran away, unable to deal with the mind numbing pain. Seeking physical pain in order to distract from his emotional grief. Vadim however embarks on a journey of growth much like a toddler crawling before he can walk. Vadim learned to walk again and he fought to get back to Dan.

Dan


The first half of this book was so interesting. Watching these two heal and mend in their own way only to find each other again and rip each others hearts out. I mean Damn! I expected a reunion of I love you, and I missed you. But Dan and Vadim are never that easy.

I enjoyed watching them fall in love all over again. R&R in Thailand was humbling, brutally honest, and soul healing.





Then Dan managed to do something that broke my heart. OK, I took it far too personally, but I love Vadim and would never want to see him hurt. I also still love Dan. I just disagree with his actions. His harem.



I loved the secondary characters. They were so vivid and multilayered. Matt the kid, Hooch the opportunist, Midge the f*cktard, and then there was Jean. My feelings on, and opinions of Jean changed like the tides. The jury is still out, but I hope to see all of these characters again and in more depth.

Special thanks to my hubby for providing emotional support after the "Thailand incident".

[Kaje Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

They say that every man can be broken, and when the strongest man breaks, he shatters. That's what happens to Vadim, two years after the KGB snatches him from Afghanistan to endure solitary confinement and torture in prison in Russia. Dan spends every ounce of his time, effort, spirit and money on getting Vadim out. But the man who walks away from Russia towards Dan is not the man he left in that hotel room. And Dan has neither the experience nor the patience to figure out who this new man is, before the force of Vadim's disintegration tears them apart.

This book manages the impossible - to be even more intense and involving than the first installment. If you don't like cheating, violence, menage, BDSM... then this one is not for you. But if you can accept all of those as part of a complex and gut-wrenching story, then prepare for something extraordinary.

Although I'm a romantic, and find this messed-up, crazy-quilt, glued-together relationship of Dan and Vadim's sometimes hard to accept, I am still drawn in by the power of it. Even when they hate each other, even when they hurt each other to the core, there is that bedrock between them that says "I would raze the whole world to scorched earth to keep you safe... from everyone but me." Even when they open the relationship sexually, the emotional focus is pure and brilliant between these two men. They are building something magnificent, and if it happens interspersed with knives and errors, misunderstandings and sex with friends, still what is emerging keeps me glued to the page in anticipation. Highly recommended. (And the donation that will have to be made to the Red Cross to match the value of this series keeps climbing. I'm very glad to have been given that outlet to thank these authors for this amazing work.)

[annob [on hiatus] · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 fucked up and hotheaded stars up until chapter 24.

I loved this sequel almost as much as the first book, Soldiers, until something unexpected happened in chapter 24. It didn't make sense for the character at that point in time, at least not the way I had read his development throughout the story. It put me off so much I couldn't continue reading, and after a few weeks have passed - and chatting about it with the wisest of GR friends - I reluctantly have decided to dnf.

Unforgettable pair, these two crazy guys and their unlikely romance. Loving them and leaving them while they're still good.

[Tara♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Dying was easy,
living was hard."

In 'Soldiers' we were presented with two warriors. Two men who at times seemed to be indestructible. Their bodies were capable of withstanding so much, the abuse caused by war and that which they inflicted upon each other. Their scars a map that showed us the journey they took from enemies to lovers. Both Dan and Vadim didn't seem to question any of their actions during their time in Afghanistan. They accepted that they did things that were questionable, cruel or just wrong, but these things were done in a time of war and therefore in their eyes could be justified. During ‘Soldiers’ their lack of morality bothered me. I felt if they showed some remorse for their actions then I could feel better about rooting for them, but as their story progressed it somehow became less and less important that they feel the remorse I thought they needed to feel. I accepted that this was how they were built. It served as a reminder that Dan and Vadim are human and therefore they are as flawed as the rest of us. That lack of remorse is certainly addressed in ‘Mercenaries’ and it felt like getting my heart ripped out.


If ‘Soldiers’ showed us what Dan and Vadim’s bodies could take, ‘Mercenaries’ shows us what their minds and hearts can. The results are devastating and gut wrenching. We see a man’s mind get destroyed in this book. A man who was once proud and strong. A man who was once confident about the decisions that he has made (right or wrong) become a broken shadow of himself. A man who has fought for his country and was proud to do so, being rejected by that country and left without an identity. A man who is tortured in the most brutal of ways for daring to not just fall in love with an enemy but fall in love with an enemy who is also a man.

"But I don’t understand myself. I don’t know how and why I broke and why I just don’t heal."

During Vadim’s incarceration Dan also endures a form of torture and it is just as heart breaking. We again see a man who is strong and proud being destroyed. Dan’s wounds are emotional wounds but are no less devastating than Vadim’s. Power is something that both Dan and Vadim hold dear, we see both stripped of that power and for some reason it was the loss of Dan’s that upset me the most. Vadim is imprisoned so I suppose it’s not really a big surprise that any power he once had is taken away from him. Dan on the other hand is the one left behind trying to free Vadim but swimming in waters that he is just not equipped to navigate. Dan finds himself in the middle of a political game, a game he can’t hope to understand and he can’t just physically storm his way in and save Vadim, a method that would be much more his way of dealing with things. Instead he must rely on the Baroness and hope that she can outmaneuver the other side. The moment that Dan thinks that all is lost is one of the most heart breaking things I have ever read. It is at that moment we see a tiger break.

"His life empty, a senseless struggle.

He’d live. He’d work. He’d drink. He’d function. He’d die"


The torture that Vadim endured was difficult to witness and I am painfully aware that we have not yet discovered the true extent of what he went through. The scars that he now carries are the hardest ones to understand as they can’t be seen and for someone like Dan who looks at the world so literally I do see some painful times ahead.

There are many moments in this book that are hard to read, some because they hurt and others because I strongly disagreed or was incredibly angry with what Dan or Vadim were doing to each other and the decisions that they made. But they are both broken in some way or other and therefore it stands to reason that they lash out or retreat, that they make selfish decisions and be cruel and uncaring. The only thing that can be done is to power through and hope that it will all work out. So that’s what I am doing. Even though at times I want curl up in a ball and sob or on other occasions punch someone.

One of my favourite parts of this book was Vadim’s training. Reading this series it almost feels like you are experiencing the same emotions as Dan and Vadim are experiencing and up until Vadim started training that emotion was overwhelming for me. His training seemed to calm him and in turn I began to feel calm. It felt like the Welsh mountains and the routine were a balm for Vadim’s ravaged soul and while it may not have healed his mind it did make him able to function again. It also gave an insight into what it takes to become a member of the SAS and where as I knew they were bad asses I had no idea they were that bad ass. I have a new respect for Bear Grylls.


The journey that Dan and Vadim take in ‘Mercenaries’ is a difficult one and I suspect that the second part will be no less difficult. But these men are extraordinary and the depth of emotion they feel for each other is incredible. I look forward the rest of the journey with this Lion and this Tiger.

“Sometimes it just feels like he peeled the flesh from my bones. He skinned my soul. And I don’t even believe in a soul.”
“Nor did I.” Dan murmured, “until I met you.”


"Once upon a time, a mountain lion and a tiger escaped a circus. They had been trained to jump through flaming hoops and to stand tall on their hind legs, reaching with their paws into the air to please the audience. But one day, something happened that set them free. Now they had nobody to keep them from fighting each other, and nobody to feed them, and nobody made them stand on their hind legs and raise their paws high.

They went hunting together. They were an unlikely pair, but so be it. Stranger things have happened. When one of them was tired, the other would guard his sleep, and when one was injured, the other would lick his wounds and hunt for him until he was feeling well again.

You need to know lions and tigers are never friends. Lions hate the tigers’ stripes, and tigers hate everybody, even other tigers, but lions are worse, because lions are so strong and hunt in prides, and tigers think that is the wrong way to do things.

But there were hunters, and they said lions and tigers are not supposed to be friends, and that they were not themselves anymore. The lion had forgotten how to be a lion, and the tiger had betrayed his stripes.

On one of their hunts together, the lion fell into a trap. The tiger tried to free his friend, but he had no hands to reach down inside the pit and help him out. The hunters couldn’t trap the tiger, try as they might, and the tiger still roams their old hunting grounds, remembering the gift of love and friendship.

Lions may die, but friendship doesn’t."

During this book I also fell in insta-love with the most amazing Delta ever. Hooch does not have a lot of page time but I have my fingers crossed that he will have a lot more in the second part. How can I fall in insta-love with someone who barely speaks and I know nothing about you may wonder?

“You’re the one who jumped into Iran,” the Yank drawled.

Dan nodded, shrugged.

“You’re the one who crashed with the kids.”

Dan flashed a toothy grin.

“You’re the faggot.”

Dan huffed with a short stab of dry laughter. “Aye.” Raising his brows above the shades. “And you?”

“I’m the opportunist.” The Yank pushed his chewing gum from one side to the other. Tongue darting out from between his lips.

Dan smirked, baring his teeth. “In that case, I’m ‘waste not want not’.”

The Delta pulled a pair of polarised shades out of his tunic pocket, and slipped them on. “Name’s Hooch.”

I like me an "opportunist" and this one has me very much intrigued. :)

[Lenore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't really know where to start with this review. I'll do my usual gibberish hoping I'll make some sense in the end.

I was so heartbroken and so angry at the same time while reading this installment. And it was all Dan. With his Mad Dog sexcapades he ripped my heart out and stomped on it.
Vadim? At a certain point my emotions for him were so intense, my chest felt like caving in. I wished he were a real person so that I could hug him and tell him everything was going to be all right, one way or another.

Halfway through the book there is such a sucker punch of a scene that I seriously considered taking some Xanax to ease the anxiety. It could not be. It just could not be... I was so angry at Dan, I wanted to smash his head against the wall.

So at that point I understood why people were asking me if I was a Dan or a Vadim person. I didn't distinguish between them in Soldiers but after this? Dan didn't stand a bloody chance. I became a hardcore Vadim person. Like everyone else, I suppose. At least everyone who doesn't have a stone instead of a heart.

Some bits and pieces, fragments of thoughts while reading this part:

The scenes where Jean plays Peeping Tom on Dan and Vadim's sexual encounters. I was all like "will you back a fucking inch off, motherfucker?" Then all this sudden understanding, along with that threesome later on, left me kinda numb. And having Vadim "admit" that part of the problem was that he, too, wanted Jean? I felt somewhat cheated. Plus, that "we are all fuck buddies now" situation felt forced and a too easy way out.

That first threesome with Jean. I normally don't have any problem with that kind of action. As long as I feel everyone in it is participating on equal terms. But I didn't feel like that here. I felt like Vadim was forced to play on Dan's terms. When Dan whispers to Jean not to fuck him in front of Vadim? I wondered if he meant any of the things he had said to Vadim in Thailand... As I saw it, Vadim was either "forced" to accept and do the threesome because Dan wanted it (there was another, unsuccessful, attempt for a threesome earlier on when Vadim didn't succumb) or he finally accepted that all he wanted was "in" (at some point he tells Jean that he was jealous because Dan was friends with Jean while hating his guts.) Too easy a solution on both occasions. And kind of simplistic. We've gone to hell and back with Vadim for 600 odd pages only to find out this? Come on!

It bothered me to no end that Dan willingly swallowed when blowing Jean but Jean always wore a condom before he did either Dan or Vadim. And the "you're clean but I might have something" excuse was a very petty one. Given that swallowing part.

Hooch. I kinda liked him at first. Him being there meant that Jean was not that important to Dan. But when he got involved with Vadim? I rapidly lost interest.
What bothered me though was that Dan encouraged Vadim to go "have fun" with Hooch. In my eyes, he did it to take the edge off his own multiple sexcapades. Vadim wouldn't have pursued anything with anyone else hadn't Dan made it possible. At some point he even admits it to himself. So there. Another reason to wanna punch Dan in the face.
And one little (?) detail. After his encounter with Hooch, Vadim thinks that Jean is a friend of Dan's and that Hooch feels like a friend to him. Seriously? Dan has spent loads and loads of time with Jean, has had the chance to confide in him, learn things about his life, TALK with him, for heaven's sake. Hooch? The silent opportunist. He doesn't even make noises during sex. What does Vadim know about him? That he's Delta. And that's pretty much it. How could he consider him a friend? Because of a good fuck? That's juvenile mentality and I feel the authors sold Vadim a little short on that. He deserves better. MUCH better.

I could go on and on and on about this. One thing I want to note before I close this review is that I agree with those who believe that some sex scenes were completely unnecessary and they didn't add anything to the story. I don't believe I'm saying this but there was too much sex in this part.

Despite the abovementioned, this book deserves a solid 5 stars for making me feel so many things at the same time. The journey wasn't easy or smooth, at times it was excruciating even and I wanted to scream at the top of my head or cry my heart out, but it was a damn fine one and I wouldn't change a moment of it.

Again, a big "thank you" to Mel for initiating me into Special Forces and for all her help and support during my "someone please shoot me and take me out of my misery" moments.
Same goes for Emma, Kate, Jodie, and Lori. You all are great SF company.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

***Spoilers Ahead***

“I don’t believe there’s anything like a soul. But I believe most people are asleep. They aren’t even aware what they are, or that they are alive.”

Mercenaries part I is book two in the epic Special Forces series which tells the story and battle of love and pain between Vadim Krasnorada and Dan McFadyen. Two men that have completely embedded themselves in my head, heart, and soul. I am not going to lie to you. This series is intense, emotional and brutal. Early on in the book, I said and thought several times—“I can’t do this.” I can’t watch them go through this.” A reading experience that consumed me. Pure love, pain, hate, romance, passion, jealousy, and doubt flowed off the pages and settled in my own heart. The emotions Vadim and Dan pulled from me felt physically painful and cathartic at times. And that is the key right there--this journey made me feel, which sounds extremely over simplified. But for me feeling means everything.

We open this part of the journey with a powerhouse, closed fist, no holds barred punch to the gut! Everything. I mean everything changes so fast. My head and heart were reeling. The pain, torture, longing, and separation Vadim and Dan endure in this book are gut wrenching. Vadim is captured, taken back to Moscow, isolated, convicted, and tortured by the KGB. He must struggle to hold on to his sanity, memories, everything he is inside, and his love for Dan. At the same time, Dan fights to free him and survive his own battle with time and hope. Hope is a brutal and painful beast. Just when you think things can’t get worse, have all that hope, love, hate, pain, and passion turn to numbness. When all you can do is hope for it all to end. Even the love. You just need it to stop. Their separate battles each impacted my heart deeply and with full force. Maybe that’s why this book is so powerful—readers get both barrels right at the chest! Two emotional struggles that left me hollow at times. My chest hurt. My body curled up in a ball just waiting for the next hit. Hands in fists. And tears. So many tears.

But the most heart bursting, romantic, adorable, and touching moments in fiction can be found right here too, people! I am a simple woman really. For me, it is the little things in life and love that fill my heart with joy and make me soar. A touch. Look. Kiss. Smile. Promise. Bringing home ice cream. Sharing time on a massage table ”Blokes are hairy.” :D. Dressing and shopping for the other or merely buckling your lover into his seat makes me cry with as much force or even more than sadness. Happy tears were shed here too. For me, happy tears are very, very rare! That is not something I usually do in life never mind with my fiction. The romance and passion made me glow at times! Haha….Honest to God glow!

I have to sidetrack here for a bit. I know me—go off course? Me? Shocking. I would like to try to explain why and how Vadim Petrovich Krasnorada become my favorite literary character of all time.

Vadim is the voice and pain that captured my heart. I love Dan, but Vadim’s voice makes it all real for me. The story, words, and characters all come alive for me through Vadim’s voice. I never truly even “see” or feel a character until Vadim speaks of him or her. His words are filled with such intellect, insecurity, and feeling it takes my breath away. But here is where my love for this character was cemented:

“He found it hard to sit down and think, and discovered another thing. He couldn’t read.”

“Words did nothing now, like his mind had become blind, like he could see nothing anymore. The numbness crept even into that place in his mind he’d never thought anybody could touch.”

Vadim lost his books, his reading due to the torture. The words did not penetrate. “Sparked nothing”

Those quotes are surrounded and filled with so much more in between, but I do not want to rob you of their impact when you come across them in the book.

Books, words, characters, worlds on the page, mean the world to me. They have been my base, my connection to the world, and a friend my whole life. But these past three years, I have gone through too much pain to put down or explain here or anywhere. I lost a lot and all at once. Too much of who and what I am. During that time and as a result, I lost my focus, balance, hold, and words. I lost my reading. Like Vadim, I didn’t think anyone could take that from me. I could not feel or see past the numbness. So to see that same struggle here in these pages with Vadim, well….it hit me like nothing I have ever felt before from a book. Vadim came along when I needed someone to fit right there in that spot in my heart that needed maybe one more push towards healing. I never really said any of this aloud before. I come from a family of non-readers. My brothers still think I’m the mailman’s kid. ;) They work with their hands—mechanic, welder, and bartender. They never knew what to make of the history loving book worm in the family. So my pain remained my own until Vadim. Anyway….I didn’t mean to go all grey, gloomy and personal there. I felt like goodreads was the appropriate place to share this tale because of how much it helped me this past year. I joined GR for a push. With smiles, gossip, and words, GR and all my lovely GR friends truly helped me heal a bit more each day. My first love—history—still eludes me, but I am getting there. This felt like a huge relief for me--to see and feel Vadim struggle with it and explain it all so well. Thank you so very much, Mr. Voinov for creating such a layered, passionate, and powerful character. Vadim will be in my heart forever. Anyway….back to the show.

Now there were a few bumps in the road in my love affair with this book. Some parts of the story felt more inserted in there. The rhythm and flow of events felt broken and forced to me at times. Dan, as a character, felt extremely shallow to me. And hell—I haven’t even touched on Jean yet. I realize I have said it before, but I will say it again here—I love when an author fucks with my head and Jean certainly does that and more. All that said, it doesn’t really matter. None of the negatives could possibly out weigh or overpower the love I hold for this book. I adore these men.

Sorry—let me try to reel in my rambling. I cannot recommend this series enough! These men feel so real to me. A part of my life. What I wouldn’t do to see one of Vadim’s rare bright smiles or a true Dan grin. Vadim, Dan, and this whole Special Forces world is why I read. To feel. And boy o’ boy does this series make me feel. It makes me feel alive!

Hopefully I didn’t make all that sound too dark and tragic. I could rave and gush about all the HOT sex too! HELLO! There is always that to have fun with! :D

Christina, Angela, and Lora—Thank you from the very bottom of my heart for being my support team. I would not have survived without you. Having someone listen to my ranting was huge during this book. Thank you all so much.

Christina--your voice of reason saved me from complete rage at times. Angela, thank you for letting me catch up! Now we can vent about the same parts! :D

And it’s not over yet….


Just a Few Favorite Moments:

Vadim in the ocean was such a peaceful and heartwarming time in the book for me. I adored seeing Vadim at ease and in the water. The ocean is Vadim’s mountains! The way these men talk of their passions for the water, the mountains, and each other is so beautiful.

Vadim in control of a sex scene. Truly dazzles all of my senses! :D

The helicopter crash! Hell—that was a beautiful piece of action writing! I could see, feel, and hear it. I don’t believe I took a breath until the helicopter finally came to rest. The silence after a crash is breathtaking.

I could go on and on. So many moments to highlight.

[D · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF 76% - FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

The first half was mostly good, but then what followed was an utter BETRAYAL of the reader, the story, Dan, Vadim and their love.

Full review (as SPOILER FREE as possible) below plus instructions which parts you can read and still have a 4 star reading experience and which sections to skip if you don’t want your memories of Special Forces DEFILED.

I had been warned not to continue the SPECIAL FORCES series after SOLDIERS and now I know why.

REVIEW:

MERCENARIES I starts with some serious emotional gut punches. Katya does something truly awful and all my goodwill that was built towards her in SOLDIERS was squandered. Both Dan and Vadim acted in ways I didn’t like too much here, but it was all still understandable at this point. Some heart-breaking moments here. There were a couple of scenes where Vadim slipped into extremely amoral behaviour, one so graphically violent that I had to skim read it.

The pacing in MERCENARIES pt I is definitely slower than in book 1. Dan and Vadim get almost no page-time together in the first quarter. A lot of time is spent on the inner workings of SAS and how their recruitment process works, which I actually enjoyed. At some point I was getting impatient though: there was so much build-up and I was waiting for the emotionally gratifying payoff and it finally came around halfway through the book and it was incredibly good.

Dan and Vadim had some amazing moments and I was punching the air. At this point I didn’t understand why so many reviewers were so angry with Dan and Jean (a new character introduced in MERCENARIES pt I). They seemed OK so far. And then this book spit me in the face.

SECTIONS TO SKIP (aka The Ugly):

STOP at: 52%, page 321 in the PDF:
“Amazed that he held credit, that people were willing to reserve and book things just because he gave them numbers.”

Safely START again at: 55%, page 340 in the PDF:
“Vadim rapped his knuckles on Dan’s metal door.”

Why?
Because between these two points, I understood why other readers are so mad. One of our main characters expresses views on monogamy that I (and most readers) loath. What then follows is a sex scene between the wrong characters, doing something that is so intimate it should be reserved for Dan & Vadim only and it all happens at the worst possible point in the narrative.

I never thought I could be revolted by a male/male sex scene but it seems like there is a first for everything. This is an explicit scene between a main character and a side character and it felt so incredibly WRONG that I was feeling physically ill. I’m not exaggerating. My throat was constricting and I was about to vomit. Never thought that that would be my reaction to an explicit m/m scene. But that’s how wrong it felt. It utterly betrayed Dan, Vadim and their love. I had to skim it. Then it was followed by another awful scene that I skimmed as well. This is dragging their love through the dirt. I don’t mind authors breaking my heart, but this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Honestly, if the scene in the hotel in Kabul at the end of book 1 meant anything to you, SKIP this section! Seriously. Please.

I want to bleach my brain just so I can forget I read this.

You can safely continue after this section, but …

STOP reading all together at: 76%, page 463 in the PDF (when they get back to camp after Thailand):
“To no avail, even when he added a frustrated “woof!””

Honestly, put the book down at this point and do not continue. Not a sentence more. Accept this point as the happy ending and move on. Do not read any of the following books. What follows here is a disgusting excuse to write sex scenes between as many different characters as possible. A character is getting themselves a “harem”. Literally. They say that. Do I need to say more? It is a disgrace to the love between Dan and Vadim.

I do not have a problem with m/m/m stories and in fact I have read many good ones. This is not what this is. This is the assassination of a love story. I have never been this mad at a sequel. I rarely give out 1 star reviews but this book, as it stands, deserves it. I HATE where this goes. I have read my fair share of sequels I didn’t love (some Vampire Chronicle books were unnecessary; Twilight got worse with every book; etc.) but I have never felt so betrayed by a book. I am disgusted.

If you skip the section mentioned above and stop reading entirely when Vadim & Dan get back to camp after Thailand & Dubai, you can still have a good reading experience.

Many thanks to Moony Eliver, her review and her suggestion where to stop reading this book. Do read her review and the comment section attached to it.

Should you read MERCENARIES I at all?
If you follow instructions above, you will have a solid reading experience, but honestly, if you loved the scene in the hotel in Kabul as much as I did - NO. Do not continue. Make up your own happy ending.

Here’s my head-canon happy ending AKA what should have happened after SOLDIERS (but didn’t):

With the help of the Baroness, Vadim is broken out of the KGB prison. But he is still in the Soviet Union, in hiding. Unsure if he will ever see Dan again. But they are working on a plan. The Soviet Union is falling apart and they know it. So they come up with the idea for Vadim to escape via Berlin. Dan goes to West-Berlin, Vadim sneaks into East-Berlin. They have this grand escape plan but it all goes wrong. Then, of course, the Berlin wall comes down. Big celebration! Fireworks! Our heroes united! Hugs! Kisses! Rainbows & puppies! They go on to live happily in the UK, New Zealand … doesn’t matter, just somewhere nice. Of course they get bored and join the military again. As mercenaries. They go off into the world, have adventures, fight the bad guys and live that James Bond life. Fighting side by side. Forever in love. THE. BLOODY. END.

That’s my head-canon. Feel free to use it if you like it. Maybe one day, I’ll write a fanfiction like this. Heck, if you’re a writer, feel free to grab the idea and run with it. Anything but where this book goes.

[Starr (AKA Starrfish) Rivers · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars this time still rounded up to 3.

First and foremost reason: I skipped/ skimmed about >50% of the book. Because it was about Dan and other men, e.g., Jean, Matt, some other dude.

Just bc I'm relatively OK with these 2 having sex with other ppl, bc it's never in doubt how much they love each other, doesn't mean I'm OK with reading hundreds of pages about it. Like I said for book 1, if the authors reduced that other crap and reduced the book to 300-400 pages at most, would have resulted in the same impact, bc all that other stuff is superfluous.

Second, Dan is an ass.

I get that he's "simple" and emotion-driven and doesn't understand how to deal with more subtle things -- LIKE HOW THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE HAS BEEN TORTURED FOR 2 YEARS AND HAS PTSD UPON GETTING OUT!!!

You can't give Vadim some breathing room? You think after all that he's going to be just hunky dory? ready to hit the sack with you the second you see him again?

Seriously, Dan is missing some screws. And then the way he reacted to Vadim when the man purposely came back to him... I wanted to string Dan up the nearest tree and leave him there for a few weeks.

The most intense part of this book for me was toward 50% when Vadim finally lashes out with everything he's bottled up inside--I'm paraphrasing:

Sorry I couldn't be normal and pick up back where we left off after two whole years of endless torture. That you couldn't wait for me to get my head straight before shacking up with one guy after another while I'm suffering alone. That you have to break my heart by flaunting those relationships in front of me reminding me of everything I fought for but still lost, of the normality that I can't compete with bc I'm now f*cked up on the head...

That really gutted me. Vadim did nothing wrong. He was as strong as he possibly could be. Stronger than just about anyone else in his situation, yet it wasn't good enough for Dan to be there when he needed him. For Dan to understand even a little bit of what he was going through, and also KEEP HIS DICK TO HIMSELF for the few months it took for Vadim to fight his way back to Dan!

Arrrrgggghhhhh!

I hear the next book is even worse. I'll prob skim a lot of that one too...But like a bad movie I have to know the end of, I'm gonna read it too.

[* Meli Mel * · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Buddy read with Drunken Panda Amanda and Melissa The Pervy Nerd**


5 Stars
WOW!! THAT ENDING WAS SO AWESOME!!!
I AM FANNING MYSELF AND CAN'T STOP SMILING!!




"We will be together, come what may."

I finished reading Special Forces: Soldiers with such a high. I was absolutely euphoric. Then this book picked up where it left off and everything goes CRAZY. The action in this book had me not wanting to put this down. I couldn't stand for anything to happen to them. My heart was pumping and I was nervously twitching. Vadim gets kidnapped and is mentally tortured while Dan tries his best to find and get him back. The problem is that Vadim is broken and he no longer feels like himself, in fact, he feels nothing. After all Dan had to do to get him back, Vadim walks away without warning, leaving Dan heartbroken.

"I loved you, but when you returned only to leave... Everything shattered. Everything I was... felt... wanted was gone. I was empty. There was nothing left inside. Nothing."



"If I touched you now, would you never leave me again?"

The separation period was the most toughest part to go through for me. My heart was hurting tremendously, but more than that, I couldn't handle my frustration. I became so pissed off because they were no longer the people they were before. They ended up hurting each other so much. This is where it was difficult for me to continue reading. Dan was out sowing his wild oats and Vadim was reverting to his old aggressive ways. I really wanted Dan to talk to Vadim and be more understanding of what he went through. I also wanted Vadim to get help so he could get himself back together because he was getting suicidal. It saddened me to see Vadim this way and I could not believe his actions.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here... --- "Creep By: Radiohead"

Vadim's ex-wife Katya makes an appearance in this book. I really liked Katya in Soldiers because of her unconditional support to Vadim. In this book however, I thought she was bloody crazy. I don't understand why she wanted another child so badly. But the thing that made me disgusted with her was the means in which she tried to get herself pregnant. I felt really bad for the situation Dan found himself in. It was disturbing and awkward to say the least.

I also did not like Jean at all in the beginning. I didn't understand the whys of his actions. I mean he was a 'heterosexual' with a someone waiting back home yet he still became one of Dan's lovers. He just seemed shady to me. But then I softened to him a bit because he ended up helping Vadim get Dan back. Matt on the other hand, I truly liked. He was another one of Dan's lovers. Matt may be young but I loved that he had the balls to stand up to Vadim and the loyalty he had for Dan. The best character to me was Maggie, The Baroness. She was such a wonderful woman for giving Dan and Vadim the support that they needed. I just loved her!!

'His. Partner. Comrade. Lover. His again'



'I love you more than I can say, than I can even think and what you give me takes my breath away, but breathing is overrated when I can kiss you'

The ending was by far the best part in the book, which was around the 82% mark. Having Dan and Vadim reunited had me overwhelmed with joy. I wanted their R&R moments from Thailand and Dubai to last forever!! I was in bliss! It was sweet, beautiful, perfect, and steamy. I finally understood how much they needed that time apart to grow and become stronger. I think their relationship has solidified more, as a result. So all that bitterness I was feeling, was worth it in the end. They still have a lot of healing to do, but now they have each other's support.

"Mine"
"Always."
"Till death do us part, as they say."



"I'll always be there. Always. I have no intention of spending my nights apart from you. Ever again. As long as it's in my power to do anything about it, I will sleep beside you. You understand?"

I must be a masochist because I actually really liked the book. Sure, I felt like I was torn to pieces and my heart battered, but like I said, the ending made it worth it. It was an Amazing read!! I didn't think I was going to make it, so thanks to my buddy readers for keeping me going.

[Emanuela ~plastic duck~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I waited before reading this book, because I knew it was going to be a long suffering. My heart has been beating a little too fast since I began to read it and I am too old to sustain this stress.

To Dan at 75% of the book.

Holy cow! First of all, Dan, you are a disappointing piece of shit. You are so selfish, you have no idea. It's always "You left me, Vadim. You didn't say a word, Vadim. You didn't do this. You didn't do that." Dan, you're a dickhead, the biggest one of all. You didn't see that poor Vadim was a shadow of himself? Didn't you stop to think about what that poor guy had gone through. You knew about torture and yet you're still WONDERING that it happened? You are a cold bastard. I tried to put myself in your shoes, to see the disappointment through your eyes, but you are the most obtuse man I've ever read in a book. Fucker! And then you endangered Vadim calling him a cunt in front of everybody and then pretended you didn't care? Nooooo! You were not pretending, you were hiding, you coward. And when you were in danger you called Vadim and made him risk his life and still you don't understand, and still it's all due to you. You are treating Vadim like a doormat, the guy is crazy about you and you fuck your way through the day with every piece of cock or ass you find. You are the whore, Dan, you are the bitch, you worthless piece of shit. You don't deserve Vadim. Go, fuck your little Jean, because he's sweet, go, you idiot!

To Vadim at 75% of the book.

Vadim, my baby. You shouldn't wear your heart on your sleeve like that, he's not worthy. He is a slut, don't believe him if he wants to explain to you that love is love and fucking around is nothing. You are a god, Vadim, just advertise a little bit more and you'll find someone for you, because that fucker doesn't deserve you, he has no right, he's not worth the dirt under the nail of your little finger. He's worth your middle finger. Don't lose yourself in the thoughts of the prison. Gosh, talk to to the good doctor, Dan won't understand, he'll always think it's about him. But you're losing it, Vadim, can't you see? The way the torturer slips into your mind, the way you flinch at small touches. You are not ok yet and to be really sane, to make yourself whole, you have to stay away from Dan and his bitches. Dan will drag you down, you need someone to listen to you, to watch you closely and learn your expressions and your silences and what you mean when you say it's nothing, when you dismiss your slips of tongue. Dan is not the right one. You think with your heart, he thinks with his dick.

And now: Let's see how Dan will fuck everything up...

After finishing the book: Dan didn't fuck up, but it was sheer luck. Jean is a great guy. Even if he had his reasons to hate Vadim, he was able to see further than Dan, to understand Vadim's jealousy and insecurity. Now: that doesn't mean I forgive him for meddling with the guys, because - simply - it's not DONE, Jean. It's pretty assholish and you're not straight, surrender your ass.

I am so glad Vadim got Hooch. That was what I meant: Hooch respected Vadim and treated him as an equal, worshiped his strength and his perfection and it was all about pleasure and connection, it was really the sublimation of sex. I hope for more Hooch in Vadim's future.

I repeat myself, but I am very disappointed in Dan. He was an all-round character in Soldiers and in the first chapters of this book, but when Vadim walked alway, he became a shell of himself, and pretty boring too. I think one of Dan's strengths was the ability to read people and situations, but it seemed he became ... ahem, dumb? Mad Dog was a caricature of Dan, a mask he used to keep the distance from people, but he got totally lost behind it. And I don't know, he says the words, but it's like an echo of a true feeling. I don't know if Dan believes in love. I have no problem seeing Vadim's devotion, but Dan remains shallow, one-dimensional. Where is the guy who was able to go through a rape to find love? He is not in this book. Vadim manages to recognize he is broken and he is trying very very hard to re-build his self, his dignity, to find self-respect, but Dan hasn't recognized he is broken yet and therefore he's moving through life like a blind man, led by instincts and delusions and hedonism, but he is empty.

Looking for Dan in the next book. He remains a sexy beast though.

ETA: Dan, what part of this didn't you understand????

"Some men want to win a gold medal, some want a family, some want to be rich, some want to be free, some want to kill other men, and some men want to do the right thing. Me, I only want you." Vadim.

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many apologies! *Head Slap* I originally had the wrong review posted for this book. As well as the wrong updates! I am such an arse! Please feel free to unlike this review if you previously liked it. It has now been posted under the correct title.

Yes I have now finished this one! I'm sure, I checked!

Proper review to follow...maybe.

But just so you know, nothing changes in my opinion, that, after another epic sequel, these are still the most sublime books I have ever read! EVER people EVER!

From shock, horror, love, pain, lust, betrayal, heartbreak. Threesomes, foursomes and swinging twosomes, my heart is in tact (just), my head is filled with the why's, and thank you God, the consequent understanding, but still some loathing.

The voice of these books speaks to me on a level of the fiercest, purest, simplistic beauty that I have never before experienced. I have finally met my literary gods in these authors.

Sublime brilliance that explodes brighter than an atomic bomb.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pretty fucked up if you ask me, Dan being a complete slut and an utter whore with no morals as soon as they return from their R&R from Thailand. Personally, I did not see any difference in sex between Dan and jean. I think they both deserve each other, and I don’t think in my years and years of reading I have ever felt so disgusted and so utterly repulsed by such a pungent act, an atrocity of the most demeaning level by Dan. “Love you and you alone vaidm”…..my ass, this guy has no morals and no soul. I think vadim should have left him when he had the chance. Just because he walked away …. gives Dan a boundless free license to fuck his way through every straight, bi and gay guy on the entire planet!!!?? All in the name of lust? Desire and sex? Really? I don’t think I can fathom the authors at the moment I am pretty much in the bloody murder mood.
I hated jean, I hated him the minute his name appeared, but now I am scared of his character, why? Because such people are the main cause of breaking up other people’s houses, dreams, relationship you name it, and they get nothing out of it BUT utter ecstatic contentment and egoistical relish. I am not going to blame this guy much, but I thought Dan had at least the IQ of a shoe size of a two year old where he can identify his lover from ………….well ANOTHER lover!!! Tender spot my ass!!!! The entire novel has just lost it’s charm and enigma. All the epiphany of love in it’s pure epitome that built up from special forces, soldiers CAN GO TO HELL and back, I am not reading this thing anymore. For F*** sake, the guy is ex-SAS, with enough brains to survive a war and now he acts like his nervous system works on nothing but c*** !!!!
This is truly and highly infuriating, pulverizing every mature characterization I proclaimed in this novel of Dan. I know, I KNOW this is not a romance novel BUT the guy is actually trying to justify that he can F*** anything that moves and has a hole and IT’S in all it’s actuality JUSTIFIED!!!!..........if lust and love were so easy to separate, I bet there won’t be a single break up and a single divorce across this UNIVERSE…..and YES I am going to mould this concept in the novel in real life, since this story is parallel to the real life relationships people go through!!!! i am confused whether I should hate jean more or be disgusted by Dan more. if this was just a f*** like matt and hooch……..ok, that is somewhat understandable and compromising and can be compartmentalized in the lust of blowing off steam section, BUT jean and him are PRACTICALLY MAKING LOVE with no moral grounds and no repercussions that maybe caused to vaidm without any guilt whatsoever!!!!! Way to go mad dog, while your lover (which I think deserves SO MUCH BETTER) is out there in the scorching sun, you can play around with another lover in the name of “all’s well till the c*** is well. ugh!
Don’t get me wrong, this an epic novel with nothing but angst, reality, brutality and the bare entity of a being in it’s raw form, but I just can’t take this purgatory and monstrous atrocity anymore in the name of lust. Dan deserves to die along with jean by his side, and I don’t care if vaidm is a psycho murderer with the covetousness for rape in it’s vicious form……..at least when he says I love you, he ACTUALLY MEANS IT!.

[Isabel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been thinking on how could I start my review... But how can I explain that a book was able to tear my heart and my soul... how can I explain that I felt so devastated, so sad, that I couldn't stop crying on the first half of this amazing book???? It was not easy see what Vadim went through while in prison and it was even more hard to see how Dan react to the idea of loosing the love of his life forever! Dan protected his heart being reckless, frivolous and building a feelingless heart. However what really shattered me, were his words of empty feelings.

And I cried... and cried...




After that came an honest conversation, and I felt a little better...

And then... then came Thailand...



After more than 300 pages, came paradise, joy and happyness!!!

Relieved was what I was feeling, expecting this couple to be happy ever after...

But once again, these fantastic writers showed me that nothing is perfect! There were characters that I hated, but now I understand a little better the all situation, and I found peace in the end of the book.




This is epic, unforgettable and absolutely fabulous!