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Agnes Barton Senior Sleuths Mystery #1
Armed and Outrageous
Completely revised and re-edited March 2, 2014 - Armed and Outrageous is a USA Today Bestseller. Also check out the Agnes Barton Paranormal series, same characters, different spin. Hilarious Senior sleuths — Grandma Mazur meets Murder She Wrote — cozy mystery.
Agnes Barton is not your typical senior citizen living in Tadium, MI, on the shores of Lake Huron. She drives a red hot Mustang, shops at Victoria's Secret, rankles local police officials, and has a knack for sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. What does a murder that happened forty-three years ago have to do with missing tourist Jennifer Martin? Agnes makes it her personal mission to find out, and she's not letting the fact she's seventy-two get in the way.
Butting heads with Sheriff Clem Peterson is something she's accustomed to, but lately Clem seems to be acting even more strangely, making Agnes wonder what he may be hiding ala the Martin disappearance. Agnes’ partner in crime, Eleanor Mason tags along, Watson to her Holmes. Together, they unearth clues.
If only Eleanor would behave, as although lovable, she has a knack for getting into trouble by tangling with her rival, Dorothy Alton, or flirting with anyone—male or female—and gossiping! She's incorrigible, but she does carry a Pink Lady revolver in her purse, one that has proved useful at times.
Life for Agnes and Eleanor is shaken up when Agnes' former boss and secret crush comes to Tadium. Before long, the lady sleuths have more on their hands to contend with as goons roll into town and bullets begin to fly. Adult content.
Agnes Barton is not your typical senior citizen living in Tadium, MI, on the shores of Lake Huron. She drives a red hot Mustang, shops at Victoria's Secret, rankles local police officials, and has a knack for sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. What does a murder that happened forty-three years ago have to do with missing tourist Jennifer Martin? Agnes makes it her personal mission to find out, and she's not letting the fact she's seventy-two get in the way.
Butting heads with Sheriff Clem Peterson is something she's accustomed to, but lately Clem seems to be acting even more strangely, making Agnes wonder what he may be hiding ala the Martin disappearance. Agnes’ partner in crime, Eleanor Mason tags along, Watson to her Holmes. Together, they unearth clues.
If only Eleanor would behave, as although lovable, she has a knack for getting into trouble by tangling with her rival, Dorothy Alton, or flirting with anyone—male or female—and gossiping! She's incorrigible, but she does carry a Pink Lady revolver in her purse, one that has proved useful at times.
Life for Agnes and Eleanor is shaken up when Agnes' former boss and secret crush comes to Tadium. Before long, the lady sleuths have more on their hands to contend with as goons roll into town and bullets begin to fly. Adult content.
264 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 29, 2012
727 people are currently reading
1694 people want to read
About the author
Madison Johns
69 books186 followersWhen Madison Johns began writing at the age of forty-four, she never imagined she'd make it onto the USA Today best-selling books list with her first cozy mystery, Armed and Outrageous, as an independent author. Sure, this book is an Amazon bestseller, but USA Today?
Although sleep-deprived from working third shift, she knew if she used what she had learned while caring for senior citizens to good use, it would result in something quite unique. The Agnes Barton Senior Sleuths mystery series has forever changed Madison's life, with each of the books making it onto the Amazon bestseller's list for cozy mystery and humor.
Madison is a member of Sisters In Crime. Madison is now able to do what she loves best and work from home as a full-time writer. She has two children, a black lab, and a hilarious Jackson Chameleon to keep her company while she churns out more Agnes Barton stories with a few others brewing in the pot.
Books
Agnes Barton Senior Sleuths Mystery series in order:
Armed and Outrageous
Grannies, Guns and Ghosts
Senior Snoops
Romance
Pretty and Pregnant novella
Redneck Romance (Published by Tirgearr Publishing)
Amazon Author Page
http://www.amazon.com/Madison-Johns/e...
She is actively involved on social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, and Goodreads. She is always willing to chat it up or give advice, and supports other writers whenever she can.
Smiles :)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 369 reviews
November 28, 2025
Seventy two year old Agnes Barton and her best friend and fellow sleuth, eighty four year old Eleanor Mason, were soon tangled in missing persons and murder. Agnes' granddaughter Sophia had vanished twelve months prior, and when another young woman vanished Agnes decided the two were connected. Forty three years ago a complete family was murdered - the Robinson family - and that case was never solved. Were they connected somehow? Agnes and Eleanor had their suspicions. But the sheriff and State Troopers of Michigan were slow to follow up. Which caused the ire of the two elderly women to rise - they would find the answers with their determination, and little pink guns.
Armed and Outrageous by Madison Johns started off alright with the comical antics of the two women making me laugh. But as it continued, it became too much; too over the top, for me anyway. Unfortunately, it was ridiculous and completely unbelievable and some of the unnecessary "stuff" was just that! Unnecessary! 1st in the Agnes Barton Senior Sleuths series, it'll be the last for me.
Armed and Outrageous by Madison Johns started off alright with the comical antics of the two women making me laugh. But as it continued, it became too much; too over the top, for me anyway. Unfortunately, it was ridiculous and completely unbelievable and some of the unnecessary "stuff" was just that! Unnecessary! 1st in the Agnes Barton Senior Sleuths series, it'll be the last for me.
May 9, 2015
The plot is ridiculous, the characters are totally unrealistic, the book is offensive and poorly written.
What really disappointed me is the completely unnecessary insertion of sex, sex toys, sexy lingerie, cursing, physical violence between senior women, drinking and driving and illegal drug use. This book certainly doesn't promote proper behavior or send the right message to readers. This book borders on senior porn. When I think of a "cozy" mystery, I think of a squeaky clean book with no bad language and no sexual references that I will enjoy and can share with my grandchildren. You'll get both of these with this book so if you are not interested in that type of writing, stay away from this book. I have deleted it from my device.
It should NOT be classified as a Cozy Mystery. I’d give it zero stars, if I could.
What really disappointed me is the completely unnecessary insertion of sex, sex toys, sexy lingerie, cursing, physical violence between senior women, drinking and driving and illegal drug use. This book certainly doesn't promote proper behavior or send the right message to readers. This book borders on senior porn. When I think of a "cozy" mystery, I think of a squeaky clean book with no bad language and no sexual references that I will enjoy and can share with my grandchildren. You'll get both of these with this book so if you are not interested in that type of writing, stay away from this book. I have deleted it from my device.
It should NOT be classified as a Cozy Mystery. I’d give it zero stars, if I could.
January 30, 2015
I ended up disliking this book so much I considered not finishing it. The only reason I did finish, was to get it out of my brain. (If I left in the middle, I feared it would haunt me.)
It sounded like a good premise, two old gals solving a mystery, but all they do is complain about how the youth treat old people. The one old lady shoots a bird, the other drives drunk and then gets the sheriff - who is trying to arrest her in the interest of public safety - in trouble. The old people are rude to the younger generation, not to mention each other. They have sex in bathrooms, do pot (not for medicinal purposes), get into physical fights – the one (72 year old) head-butted another. It’s ridiculous. The one guy uses his walker to trip a younger man at the local WalMart, and the younger man flies into a potato chip display. Why was the old guy not put into jail for assault?
The author writes scenes with young people saying nasty things to old people – for the sole purpose of having fights. The KFC scene is a good example. A youth spits insults (for no reason) to the old lady behind the counter. He asks for his biscuits and she ends up throwing biscuits at him, and then chicken parts. Are you serious?
The old people in this book are rude, crude, insulting and this whole driving drunk thing ticked me off. I don’t care about these people anymore. I was taught to respect my elders but if I lived in this town, I don’t think I would. They should be locked up - some in jail, others in the mental ward. Spare the nursing home staff.
It’s not fun.
After the main character stumbles into her house after avoiding the drunk driving charge (she drove home, by the way - drunk), she collapses into bed with her shoes and clothes still on, too drunk to care. “I still felt a little drunk, and the room spun. I could deal with a little buzz, but not the spinning or jail fine. I was on a fixed income!”
Really, author? Make a joke out of drunk driving? And this is the main character! Now, I did lose a friend to a drunk driver, but I’d like to think I’d find this just as abhorrent if I didn’t. Trying to make light of drunk driving? Pretending like it’s funny? I just pray the author didn’t intend this to be endearing. It’s not funny and it’s not endearing.
Then, a few pages later, the main character is describing a friend’s sons. “…were what I’d call a menace. They had spent most of their lives in and out of juvenile hall when young, and jail cells once they were of age. They were repeat offenders, but had thus far eluded any charges that would keep them behind bars.” She then says, “…but her boys made me want to hold my purse closer and keep my doors locked.”
Really? Like maybe people in your community hug their loved ones before they drive because people like you are on the road and not in jail? I’m not even mentioning where, earlier in the book, the mc says she has the right to drive even though her reaction time is a lot slower than in previous years.
That’s a thorny issue in families nowadays. When do you take your parents’ car keys? Do you have the right? Do they have the right to keep driving? There’s no perfect answer – that would be fine for the author to touch on and even make readers uncomfortable by thinking about it and displaying the elderly side of the coin. But this? I’m just so angry! (Can you tell?)
The writing itself is all over the place. One minute, a character is saying and thinking one thing, and the next they’re doing or saying the opposite, with no ready cause as to why. It doesn’t flow and it’s not stylistic/artistic, it’s disjointed. The crazy things that happen to the old gals are over the top and the author keeps telling us everything instead of letting us see it for ourselves.
I don’t usually react so strongly to a book (unless I like it). As an author myself, I give a wide latitude to my fellow authors because I know how opinionated an audience is. This review is my opinion, which I can sum up in four words:
Don’t read this book.
It sounded like a good premise, two old gals solving a mystery, but all they do is complain about how the youth treat old people. The one old lady shoots a bird, the other drives drunk and then gets the sheriff - who is trying to arrest her in the interest of public safety - in trouble. The old people are rude to the younger generation, not to mention each other. They have sex in bathrooms, do pot (not for medicinal purposes), get into physical fights – the one (72 year old) head-butted another. It’s ridiculous. The one guy uses his walker to trip a younger man at the local WalMart, and the younger man flies into a potato chip display. Why was the old guy not put into jail for assault?
The author writes scenes with young people saying nasty things to old people – for the sole purpose of having fights. The KFC scene is a good example. A youth spits insults (for no reason) to the old lady behind the counter. He asks for his biscuits and she ends up throwing biscuits at him, and then chicken parts. Are you serious?
The old people in this book are rude, crude, insulting and this whole driving drunk thing ticked me off. I don’t care about these people anymore. I was taught to respect my elders but if I lived in this town, I don’t think I would. They should be locked up - some in jail, others in the mental ward. Spare the nursing home staff.
It’s not fun.
After the main character stumbles into her house after avoiding the drunk driving charge (she drove home, by the way - drunk), she collapses into bed with her shoes and clothes still on, too drunk to care. “I still felt a little drunk, and the room spun. I could deal with a little buzz, but not the spinning or jail fine. I was on a fixed income!”
Really, author? Make a joke out of drunk driving? And this is the main character! Now, I did lose a friend to a drunk driver, but I’d like to think I’d find this just as abhorrent if I didn’t. Trying to make light of drunk driving? Pretending like it’s funny? I just pray the author didn’t intend this to be endearing. It’s not funny and it’s not endearing.
Then, a few pages later, the main character is describing a friend’s sons. “…were what I’d call a menace. They had spent most of their lives in and out of juvenile hall when young, and jail cells once they were of age. They were repeat offenders, but had thus far eluded any charges that would keep them behind bars.” She then says, “…but her boys made me want to hold my purse closer and keep my doors locked.”
Really? Like maybe people in your community hug their loved ones before they drive because people like you are on the road and not in jail? I’m not even mentioning where, earlier in the book, the mc says she has the right to drive even though her reaction time is a lot slower than in previous years.
That’s a thorny issue in families nowadays. When do you take your parents’ car keys? Do you have the right? Do they have the right to keep driving? There’s no perfect answer – that would be fine for the author to touch on and even make readers uncomfortable by thinking about it and displaying the elderly side of the coin. But this? I’m just so angry! (Can you tell?)
The writing itself is all over the place. One minute, a character is saying and thinking one thing, and the next they’re doing or saying the opposite, with no ready cause as to why. It doesn’t flow and it’s not stylistic/artistic, it’s disjointed. The crazy things that happen to the old gals are over the top and the author keeps telling us everything instead of letting us see it for ourselves.
I don’t usually react so strongly to a book (unless I like it). As an author myself, I give a wide latitude to my fellow authors because I know how opinionated an audience is. This review is my opinion, which I can sum up in four words:
Don’t read this book.
September 18, 2012
I wanted to love this book, I really did. And while I found a good portion of it to be humorous, there were also situations that left me wishing I could gouge out my mind's eye. I feel like it had a good plot, but that the story could have been told a bit more concisely. The idea of a senior citizen sleuth with a touch of a wild side was intriguing to me, just for the simple fact that is shows your life doesn't end just because you're getting older. However, I felt that the author went overboard in trying to make Agnes' character edgy. Entertaining for what it was, but I don't foresee myself reading more from this series.
May 5, 2012
It was my privilege to be invited to proofread this book before publication.
Armed and Outrageous is a funny, warm, charming story of two mature women who have experienced life's losses but have come out stronger and wiser. Madison Johns has captured their enthusiasm, their confidence, their courage and their friendship, telling a good story while bringing the reader into the world of today's 'spunky seniors.'
Young women are disappearing from this small town in Michigan. The residents don't want to believe that anything serious links these disappearances ... just as they didn't want to pursue finding the killer responsible for a crime decades old. But Agnes and Eleanor have a personal interest in finding out what is going on, as Agnes' granddaughter is one of the missing girls.
With humor and bravado they persist in asking pesky questions. They learn to fire pistols after an unintended shot wounds one of the newcomers in town. Their exchanges with the local sheriff and the state police vary widely, ranging from scorn to hilarious scenes.
Madison Johns weaves romance sensitively into the story, allowing her senior characters to express their romantic interests realistically. The younger generation of local teenagers in entry level jobs is portrayed as being uninformed and disrespectful of the human side of elders. And the vulnerabilities of the families of those missing are gently exposed.
If you want a chuckle, a mystery, a beautiful, serene setting with a vicious criminal being pursued by incompetent local police and these ladies, you will love this book, and no doubt look for more from these characters and their creator, Madison Johns.
Armed and Outrageous is a funny, warm, charming story of two mature women who have experienced life's losses but have come out stronger and wiser. Madison Johns has captured their enthusiasm, their confidence, their courage and their friendship, telling a good story while bringing the reader into the world of today's 'spunky seniors.'
Young women are disappearing from this small town in Michigan. The residents don't want to believe that anything serious links these disappearances ... just as they didn't want to pursue finding the killer responsible for a crime decades old. But Agnes and Eleanor have a personal interest in finding out what is going on, as Agnes' granddaughter is one of the missing girls.
With humor and bravado they persist in asking pesky questions. They learn to fire pistols after an unintended shot wounds one of the newcomers in town. Their exchanges with the local sheriff and the state police vary widely, ranging from scorn to hilarious scenes.
Madison Johns weaves romance sensitively into the story, allowing her senior characters to express their romantic interests realistically. The younger generation of local teenagers in entry level jobs is portrayed as being uninformed and disrespectful of the human side of elders. And the vulnerabilities of the families of those missing are gently exposed.
If you want a chuckle, a mystery, a beautiful, serene setting with a vicious criminal being pursued by incompetent local police and these ladies, you will love this book, and no doubt look for more from these characters and their creator, Madison Johns.
January 16, 2013
I cannot believe that roughly four out of five reviewers in the US think this is worth finishing. What the forty-odd who gave it five stars generally read is a mystery because it suggests there are tens of thousands worse than this. Difficult to imagine.
This is not a question of taste, it is a matter of writing competence. Misuse of words, poor characterisation, unbelievable scenarios and poor story focus are not the only things that mar the product. I can well believe that the author tells a good ditty at the bar/club/hairdressers but writing is another game, with more stringent rules.
I give this two stars rather than one because however badly performed it is, it demonstrates writerly persistence. To complete a book is an achievement and the practice alone might mean the next offering is a shade better. I still won't buy it because the improvement required could never come that quickly.
This is not a question of taste, it is a matter of writing competence. Misuse of words, poor characterisation, unbelievable scenarios and poor story focus are not the only things that mar the product. I can well believe that the author tells a good ditty at the bar/club/hairdressers but writing is another game, with more stringent rules.
I give this two stars rather than one because however badly performed it is, it demonstrates writerly persistence. To complete a book is an achievement and the practice alone might mean the next offering is a shade better. I still won't buy it because the improvement required could never come that quickly.
March 8, 2014
Some funny lines but for the most part just ridiculous . These seniors were engaging in activities that were bizarre . Fighting in KFC , pulling hair and wigs, and their sexual encounters were often gross. Seniors are certainly valued members of society but this lot were the goons .
August 6, 2012
Completely different set of characters which makes for an interesting read. Mind pictures were a tad unsettling but after awhile not so scary. Enjoyable mystery with some different twists you will find funny. More I thought about this one I had to update with five stars. Looking forward to more stories of these unusual seniors.
April 2, 2019
This story takes place in Tadium, MI which
is on the shores of Lake Huron.
The story features two Senior Sleuths:
Agnes Barton who is 72 years old and her
82 year old sleuthing partner, Eleanor Mason.
Agnes lives with her fur baby, Dutchess the
cat. A real crazy cat....catches mice but brings
them home alive into the house, tries to chase
mourning doves through the window and loves
to climb the backyard tree.
Agnes’ granddaughter went missing over a year
ago. The Sheriff could not find a trail. Now
another young tourist, Jennifer Morgan has gone
missing.
Agnes along with Eleanor start to investigate. The
missing girls seem to relate to a forty-three year
old cold case of a murdered family.
The Sheriff and unknown goons are not happy
with Agnes sticky her nose in things to follow
clues.
Two dead bodies, a young man beat up, goons,
bullets flying, fire bomb, car windows broken
and shot out......trouble seems to be following
Agnes and Eleanor and their pink lady revolvers.
Their shenanigans lend humor to the murder
mysteries and disappearing girls intrigue.
Characters are well defined, colorful, quirky
and have a small town influence.
Enjoyable cozy mystery.
is on the shores of Lake Huron.
The story features two Senior Sleuths:
Agnes Barton who is 72 years old and her
82 year old sleuthing partner, Eleanor Mason.
Agnes lives with her fur baby, Dutchess the
cat. A real crazy cat....catches mice but brings
them home alive into the house, tries to chase
mourning doves through the window and loves
to climb the backyard tree.
Agnes’ granddaughter went missing over a year
ago. The Sheriff could not find a trail. Now
another young tourist, Jennifer Morgan has gone
missing.
Agnes along with Eleanor start to investigate. The
missing girls seem to relate to a forty-three year
old cold case of a murdered family.
The Sheriff and unknown goons are not happy
with Agnes sticky her nose in things to follow
clues.
Two dead bodies, a young man beat up, goons,
bullets flying, fire bomb, car windows broken
and shot out......trouble seems to be following
Agnes and Eleanor and their pink lady revolvers.
Their shenanigans lend humor to the murder
mysteries and disappearing girls intrigue.
Characters are well defined, colorful, quirky
and have a small town influence.
Enjoyable cozy mystery.
April 28, 2018
Three stars for happy end... I hope the other books are better
March 24, 2021
DNF - this was supposed to be a cozy mystery. But it was about two senior ladies running around acting like teenagers in heat. They went to an adult shop and gave minute details of everything they purchased. One lady got drunk and slept with the lawyer she had had a crush on 20 years before. She also kept saying things to the lawyer and making him angry. I think she wanted him to admit his feelings first - while he was waiting for her to admit her feelings. Just like teenagers.
I got half way through and could not be bothered to finish the book. The sheriffs office were clearly quite incompetant and the whining and dialogue was not funny at all. This was really nothing more than a teenage whine fest but done by seniors.
NO more SENIOR sleuths for me. Now I know why I never bothered to read Miss Marple.
I got half way through and could not be bothered to finish the book. The sheriffs office were clearly quite incompetant and the whining and dialogue was not funny at all. This was really nothing more than a teenage whine fest but done by seniors.
NO more SENIOR sleuths for me. Now I know why I never bothered to read Miss Marple.
February 3, 2020
What a hoot. Two ladies of a certain age are involved in finding a lost niece and another young lady. The predicaments they find themselves in had me laughing so hard the house shook. Yes, there is some romance that leads to sex, but then there's sex without romance. Wild raccoons, murders galore, law enforcement, bombing, goon shootings, well, you get the idea. Just a fun chill out read.
July 5, 2014
Armed and Dangerous by Madison Johns
I had high hopes for this book (the first in a series). I've always liked Miss Marple, even when I was very young, and I enjoyed the Henrie O series -- both being over-50 aged women "detectives." So something called the "Senior Sleuths" mysteries should have been right up my alley.
Alas, I wasn't thrilled with the book.
Some of the reviews I'd read when I got the book (free on Amazon for my Kindle -- and I'm glad of that, at least) indicated problems with grammar, etc., but I didn't really notice much of that. And those of you who know me, know that's something I usually complain of in books. So that wasn't why I didn't like it.
Some of the reviews complained of the acerbic nature of the characters -- I didn't find the characters' personalities a problem, so much (well, I did -- but that's later), but did find that the fact that almost every character in the book was someone I would duck into a dark alley to avoid, to be a bit over the top.
It wasn't the mystery itself that bothered me. In fact, the mystery was a darn good one and it and it alone kept me reading to the end. The author not only chose a very scary subject for her mystery, but she wrote that part of the book very well, with nice pacing, lots of action and danger, and one hell of a climatic ending. In fact, that's what got her the 3 stars instead of the 1 star I was planning earlier in the book.
So why did I dislike this book so much? It was downright insulting to anyone of AARP card-carrying age. Not only were most of the characters of that age, there were all the most degrading stereotypes of senior citizens one can imagine. Womanizing men, preening, gossipy women, all acting worse than you can imagine. Pot parties attended by the entire population of the small town where this takes place, knock-down drag-out cat-fights between 60+ aged women seemingly just for the fun of it, an eccentric to the point of mental instability "cat lady" (and I very very much resent that, being a veritable cat lady myself), a pot-growing, pot brownie baking senior... the list was endless. Not only that, but the author would have you believe that all this could take place before 8 or 9 p.m., as she states more than once in the book that all of these seniors would want to be in bed asleep by that time. I can tell you, not only from being in the same age bracket as the main character (I'm 67; the main character is 72) that this is not only not true, it's ridiculously not true. In fact, it is not true of even one person I know in the 60-80+ year bracket.
I will give the author a bit of a kudo on making the seniors have lots of passion and desire to be involved in sexual relationships. However, again, she doesn't do it in a way that is realistic. She has the characters swinging between hooking up in the back bedroom at a monthly card party, or salacious May-Dec relationships, or waking up after a night of heavy drinking to find a naked man in your bed. Hmm, let's just ignore the purely physical issues that many seniors find themselves dealing with in order to stay sexually active in later years -- and if we don't ignore them, let's make a joke of them.
Some of the action was rather outlandish, as well. So, we have a 72 year old woman, who is a pretty good shot. She's attempting to save someone from being raped, the man has his pants down, the woman down on a table and he is attempting to enter her and the main character, who has been hit and knocked to the floor, is able to grab her gun from her pocket, roll and shoot him in the crotch and somehow, manage to miss the woman altogether? How big was this guy's member, that there was that much distance between him and his victim that someone lying on the floor a bit of a distance away at who knows what angle could make that shot? Now, that might be exciting and something we'd all love to happen, but it is pretty unrealistic.
And it's not just the elderly the author treats with disdain. Up to the climatic ending scenes, literally every young adult/teen mentioned in the book is rude and insulting.
So, loved the mystery; hated the way the author chose to portray the characters.
I picked up both this book and the second in the series for my Kindle as free books. I'm glad I didn't pay for them because both are being offloaded ASAP.
I had high hopes for this book (the first in a series). I've always liked Miss Marple, even when I was very young, and I enjoyed the Henrie O series -- both being over-50 aged women "detectives." So something called the "Senior Sleuths" mysteries should have been right up my alley.
Alas, I wasn't thrilled with the book.
Some of the reviews I'd read when I got the book (free on Amazon for my Kindle -- and I'm glad of that, at least) indicated problems with grammar, etc., but I didn't really notice much of that. And those of you who know me, know that's something I usually complain of in books. So that wasn't why I didn't like it.
Some of the reviews complained of the acerbic nature of the characters -- I didn't find the characters' personalities a problem, so much (well, I did -- but that's later), but did find that the fact that almost every character in the book was someone I would duck into a dark alley to avoid, to be a bit over the top.
It wasn't the mystery itself that bothered me. In fact, the mystery was a darn good one and it and it alone kept me reading to the end. The author not only chose a very scary subject for her mystery, but she wrote that part of the book very well, with nice pacing, lots of action and danger, and one hell of a climatic ending. In fact, that's what got her the 3 stars instead of the 1 star I was planning earlier in the book.
So why did I dislike this book so much? It was downright insulting to anyone of AARP card-carrying age. Not only were most of the characters of that age, there were all the most degrading stereotypes of senior citizens one can imagine. Womanizing men, preening, gossipy women, all acting worse than you can imagine. Pot parties attended by the entire population of the small town where this takes place, knock-down drag-out cat-fights between 60+ aged women seemingly just for the fun of it, an eccentric to the point of mental instability "cat lady" (and I very very much resent that, being a veritable cat lady myself), a pot-growing, pot brownie baking senior... the list was endless. Not only that, but the author would have you believe that all this could take place before 8 or 9 p.m., as she states more than once in the book that all of these seniors would want to be in bed asleep by that time. I can tell you, not only from being in the same age bracket as the main character (I'm 67; the main character is 72) that this is not only not true, it's ridiculously not true. In fact, it is not true of even one person I know in the 60-80+ year bracket.
I will give the author a bit of a kudo on making the seniors have lots of passion and desire to be involved in sexual relationships. However, again, she doesn't do it in a way that is realistic. She has the characters swinging between hooking up in the back bedroom at a monthly card party, or salacious May-Dec relationships, or waking up after a night of heavy drinking to find a naked man in your bed. Hmm, let's just ignore the purely physical issues that many seniors find themselves dealing with in order to stay sexually active in later years -- and if we don't ignore them, let's make a joke of them.
Some of the action was rather outlandish, as well. So, we have a 72 year old woman, who is a pretty good shot. She's attempting to save someone from being raped, the man has his pants down, the woman down on a table and he is attempting to enter her and the main character, who has been hit and knocked to the floor, is able to grab her gun from her pocket, roll and shoot him in the crotch and somehow, manage to miss the woman altogether? How big was this guy's member, that there was that much distance between him and his victim that someone lying on the floor a bit of a distance away at who knows what angle could make that shot? Now, that might be exciting and something we'd all love to happen, but it is pretty unrealistic.
And it's not just the elderly the author treats with disdain. Up to the climatic ending scenes, literally every young adult/teen mentioned in the book is rude and insulting.
So, loved the mystery; hated the way the author chose to portray the characters.
I picked up both this book and the second in the series for my Kindle as free books. I'm glad I didn't pay for them because both are being offloaded ASAP.
May 14, 2014
Though I am reading the three-book boxed set, I think it is fair to give a review of each individual book. Since I did buy both, and as I want to encourage writing for seniors, the reals ones not the ones in twelfth grade in high school. Besides, it doesn't hurt my reading goals to review individually. ;-)
It is so exciting to actually read something that includes people, womyn, who are not teens. Was it as well-written as I would like? Not so much. I would give this three and a half stars. This needed more editing. And did we have to fall into the trap of the romance? I like when womyn can think for themselves and stand without a man coming to their rescue. Agnes did that for the most part, but she got all weak kneed and girlie when the man of her dreams comes into view. I loved Eleanor, the ninety-something sex crazed side-kick better than the main character. She pulled no punches and got what she needed from the world.
That world is Tawas, Michigan. I've never been there so it seemed like another country, to me. The author did make it sound like the kind of place I'd like to visit sometime.
I love how Madison Johns, the author, captures all kinds of senior citizens within this book. She laughs at some who seem like they would enjoy the joke while holding respect and sympathy for those not so blessed or able. And I love how Ms. Johns addresses fem issues. You wouldn't think that the issues would be so strong once womyn were no longer in the work force, but it seems to affects us all a lot more. Ms. Johns doesn't draw attention to these issues, but rather, states them as is and moves on, leaving the reader to draw their own conclusions.
The tags 'mystery, thriller, suspense' are the most accurate. Chic-lit or cozy mystery seem too light for the contents. Rape, murder, and sex-trafficking are some topics involved which are dealt with in a serious manner. I found that fact a little too much to deal with. I don't like reading stories that are too realistic. I get that on the news. Give me a good sci-fi or fantasy to get lost in, any day. But all in all this was a good read and I will continue the series with delight. Go, Seniors!
It is so exciting to actually read something that includes people, womyn, who are not teens. Was it as well-written as I would like? Not so much. I would give this three and a half stars. This needed more editing. And did we have to fall into the trap of the romance? I like when womyn can think for themselves and stand without a man coming to their rescue. Agnes did that for the most part, but she got all weak kneed and girlie when the man of her dreams comes into view. I loved Eleanor, the ninety-something sex crazed side-kick better than the main character. She pulled no punches and got what she needed from the world.
That world is Tawas, Michigan. I've never been there so it seemed like another country, to me. The author did make it sound like the kind of place I'd like to visit sometime.
I love how Madison Johns, the author, captures all kinds of senior citizens within this book. She laughs at some who seem like they would enjoy the joke while holding respect and sympathy for those not so blessed or able. And I love how Ms. Johns addresses fem issues. You wouldn't think that the issues would be so strong once womyn were no longer in the work force, but it seems to affects us all a lot more. Ms. Johns doesn't draw attention to these issues, but rather, states them as is and moves on, leaving the reader to draw their own conclusions.
The tags 'mystery, thriller, suspense' are the most accurate. Chic-lit or cozy mystery seem too light for the contents. Rape, murder, and sex-trafficking are some topics involved which are dealt with in a serious manner. I found that fact a little too much to deal with. I don't like reading stories that are too realistic. I get that on the news. Give me a good sci-fi or fantasy to get lost in, any day. But all in all this was a good read and I will continue the series with delight. Go, Seniors!
January 11, 2016
72-year-old Aggie Barton is an inquisitive person with an aptitude for investigating. She is also strong-willed, stubborn, and opinionated. These traits land her in a lot of hot water when she decides to investigate the disappearance of a young woman named Jennifer Martin. When Jennifer’s wealthy father comes to Aggie’s hometown of Tadium, Michigan, Aggie is shocked to find that her former boss Andrew, a man she lusted after for years, is accompanying him. Old feelings flare up as does her determination to find Jennifer, given that Aggie’s granddaughter, Sophie, also disappeared a year ago. Naturally, there are people who don’t want Aggie to learn the truth and will go to any lengths to stop her.
There are things I liked and disliked about the book, so let’s start with the good stuff. Aggie and her sidekick Eleanor are a hoot, although not always likeable. I’m not sure whether the novel’s title refers to the crime or the crime solvers (maybe both), but some of Aggie’s and Eleanor’s actions were clearly outrageous. Still, I sympathized with Aggie as she has a strong, believable motive in wanting to search for Jennifer. The setting is described well enough that I can picture this town and the eccentric residents who live there. Andrew is also well portrayed.
The main problem with the book is the lack of logic in spots. Like most amateur sleuths, Aggie and Eleanor take unnecessary risks which I accept in cozies. After all, I’m a fan of the genre. Toward the end of the book, Aggie’s barely survived two murder attempts when she goes traipsing after the bad guys alone while the police are nearby. This over-the-top behavior stretches credibility too far. Secondly, the disappearance of the granddaughter for an entire year doesn’t make sense, under the circumstances. To explain why would be a spoiler. As fun as the premise is, the characters’ actions made them more irrational and annoying than heroic.
There are things I liked and disliked about the book, so let’s start with the good stuff. Aggie and her sidekick Eleanor are a hoot, although not always likeable. I’m not sure whether the novel’s title refers to the crime or the crime solvers (maybe both), but some of Aggie’s and Eleanor’s actions were clearly outrageous. Still, I sympathized with Aggie as she has a strong, believable motive in wanting to search for Jennifer. The setting is described well enough that I can picture this town and the eccentric residents who live there. Andrew is also well portrayed.
The main problem with the book is the lack of logic in spots. Like most amateur sleuths, Aggie and Eleanor take unnecessary risks which I accept in cozies. After all, I’m a fan of the genre. Toward the end of the book, Aggie’s barely survived two murder attempts when she goes traipsing after the bad guys alone while the police are nearby. This over-the-top behavior stretches credibility too far. Secondly, the disappearance of the granddaughter for an entire year doesn’t make sense, under the circumstances. To explain why would be a spoiler. As fun as the premise is, the characters’ actions made them more irrational and annoying than heroic.
February 7, 2017
Nope. Just a little too "outrageous" for me.
The book did have its moments of humour, but, mostly, it was about seniors behaving badly...smoking pot, getting into fights and altercations in public places, being rude, insulting and obnoxious, having sex in a washroom at a card party, but, worst of all, drinking and driving. There is nothing even remotely funny about such a dangerous, careless, thoughtless action.
I like and respect strong, independent, feisty female characters, but I found it difficult at times to even tolerate Agnes and her buddy, Eleanor. Their behaviour was just too outlandish, eyebrow-raising and, at times, downright reckless and stupid. I found myself shaking my head in disbelief and disgust more than I did laughing at their antics. As for the mystery itself, I almost didn’t care about it because it seemed like such an insignificant part of the whole story.
And the sex...well, let's just say I couldn't quite wrap my head around seventy-some year olds getting it on like raunchy, hormone-crazed teenagers! I’m not saying it’s not possible or credible, but it was definitely not something I wanted to read about in what I thought was a “cozy” mystery.
There were also numerous editing errors and inconsistencies.
I really wanted to like this book and the characters, but it was just too disappointing. This not a series that I will be pursuing further.
The book did have its moments of humour, but, mostly, it was about seniors behaving badly...smoking pot, getting into fights and altercations in public places, being rude, insulting and obnoxious, having sex in a washroom at a card party, but, worst of all, drinking and driving. There is nothing even remotely funny about such a dangerous, careless, thoughtless action.
I like and respect strong, independent, feisty female characters, but I found it difficult at times to even tolerate Agnes and her buddy, Eleanor. Their behaviour was just too outlandish, eyebrow-raising and, at times, downright reckless and stupid. I found myself shaking my head in disbelief and disgust more than I did laughing at their antics. As for the mystery itself, I almost didn’t care about it because it seemed like such an insignificant part of the whole story.
And the sex...well, let's just say I couldn't quite wrap my head around seventy-some year olds getting it on like raunchy, hormone-crazed teenagers! I’m not saying it’s not possible or credible, but it was definitely not something I wanted to read about in what I thought was a “cozy” mystery.
There were also numerous editing errors and inconsistencies.
I really wanted to like this book and the characters, but it was just too disappointing. This not a series that I will be pursuing further.
February 13, 2017
Loved this book. The 2 main characters (Agnes & her buddy Eleanor) are such characters! The tag is "Grandma Mazur meets Murder She Wrote." Definitely as outrageous as Grandma Mazur. I loved the locale because I'd just driven up US-23 along the Lake Huron coast. It's a fun mystery, and I'll be back for more in this delightful series.
July 18, 2012
The title for this novel by Madison Johns is perfect! The main character, Agnes Barton, and her sidekick, Eleanor, two senior citizens, are both "Armed" and truly "Outrageous."
Determined to solve the mystery of two missing young women (one is Agnes' granddaughter), the partners in crime become involved in some dangerous, but hilarious, adventures.
Determined to solve the mystery of two missing young women (one is Agnes' granddaughter), the partners in crime become involved in some dangerous, but hilarious, adventures.
September 17, 2012
If you read this book, be warned, you better have a box of tissues and possibly an inhaler or two. This book was so hillarious it has me in tears. I actually had to walk away a few times just clear my eyes so I continue reading. The author holds nothing back. This is the National Lampoons of books.
February 10, 2017
I never knew a book of old people as PIs could be funny. I laughed out loud a lot as I thought about the trials of getting older and what inevitably happens as the body ages. Agnes and Eleanor are Lucy and Ethel, Thelma and Louise. Some of their antics were like "eeewwwww, tmi"! I look forward to reading more of this comedic duo.
September 27, 2012
Starting chapter 19. I don't have much time to read lately, but it is pretty good so far. The author is a nice person and on my Facebook Page. This is her second book. This is about 2 elderly women trying to solve a missing person case. Hilarious so far. Gotta LOVE Aggie.
January 18, 2016
Women sleuth books crack me up, and this one was no different. It had a lot of humor mixed in with seriousness. I was certainly surprised with the ending, the way the story went, I just didn't expect the seriousness of the crime that had taken place...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 25, 2016
Feisty senior sleuths shoots up interesting read
The characters are fun and foibles of older women are well intentioned and bring a smile. If Stephanie Plum were going on 70 plus, you're getting an idea about Agnes. Looking forward to checking out the next in the series.
The characters are fun and foibles of older women are well intentioned and bring a smile. If Stephanie Plum were going on 70 plus, you're getting an idea about Agnes. Looking forward to checking out the next in the series.
January 3, 2018
If you are a fan of good writing, pass on this one. This story has a good plot about missing girls & human trafficking, and a secret dungeon in a cabin int he woods, but the erratic script jumps around, back-tracks on itself and changes tone so often and so abruptly you will scoff. The protagonist is vitally concerned about a missing girl she never met, yet her own granddaughter, who went missing in the same town is barely mentioned. The author never seems to know where she is - she adds one sentence after the other without considering what happened before, leading to lot of random jumps in tone and texture. For example, one minute the lead character says there is a "hint" of darkness in the sky. The next minute she and her 82-year-old friend are "sprinting" for the car and are already soaking wet. They drive to her friend's house where they both change clothes. How did they BOTH change at a friend's house? Well a couple sentences later the author just tosses in that Agnes "fortunately " left clothes at her friend's house at some unknown time for some unknown reason. Some scenes are simply outrageous and inexplicable within the context of the rather plain tone of the book - for example there is a bake sale at a nursing home, someone brings pot-laced brownies and all the seniors become so high that they race around the venue chased by nurses who apparently have trouble catching up with them...all while some state troopers stand around and watch. Often these drama queen characterss explode into a violent change of temper or sudden activity over the simplest of conversations, such as a knocked-to-the-floor fight in an ice cream parlor caused by a perceived minor verbal insult exchange between two octogenerians, who seem to be the cause of some friction up until the mid-point of the story, when they vanish forever. The characters usually return to complete normalcy within a sentence or two. Want more unbelievable events? There's the part where people are led to a small ramshackle cabin in the woods and ushered down some dark creaky stairs to the cellar. OK, got t. What's next? The cellar appears to hold dozens of jail cells where hostage-takers have apparently been holding girls anywhere from one week to several years and they start taking them to the showers to clean them up because today is the big slave sale day. Really? Showers in a cabin cellar? Hold onto captives for a year before selling them? And to add insult, the epilogue briefly mentions that the girls will probable always have scars from the rope burns, even though no one in the cellar was tied in any way. It is this kind of sloppy writing that guarantees I will never read Madison Johns again.
March 19, 2021
This book has a split personality. So, from the start I must admit I had read Haunted Hijinks first (Agnes Barton Paranormal) mystery and enjoyed it enough to try the first book in the series, this one. It was so jarring the differences I almost felt like they books were not the same characters or universe.
The physical description of the characters didn’t match the cover and I am wondering if I have the characters descriptions mixed up in my head. I just didn’t remember them being described that way in the Haunted Hijinks.
Agnes is not a likable character, but she is determined and loyal. The only reason I was supporting of Agnes was not because I liked her but because her mission was sound and her drive to get the case solved. Actually, most of the characters weren’t all that likable except for Trooper Sayles and Andrew. I did enjoy how the author treats senior citizens as real people who love, care, drink and get rowdy like the rest of us.
The mysteries were good especially the modern-day mystery and it engaged you from the beginning. The cold case seemed to be just kind of an add-on side story and the book was fine with or without it.
I have to say the narrator didn’t really do it for me and I can only point to two reasons. First reason is that its not the same narrator as Haunted Hijinks so the characters voices weren’t the same. The second reason is that the narrator made Eleanor sound like a crazy senior citizen with all her giggles that made Eleanor sound insane. It was very different from the other book.
The physical description of the characters didn’t match the cover and I am wondering if I have the characters descriptions mixed up in my head. I just didn’t remember them being described that way in the Haunted Hijinks.
Agnes is not a likable character, but she is determined and loyal. The only reason I was supporting of Agnes was not because I liked her but because her mission was sound and her drive to get the case solved. Actually, most of the characters weren’t all that likable except for Trooper Sayles and Andrew. I did enjoy how the author treats senior citizens as real people who love, care, drink and get rowdy like the rest of us.
The mysteries were good especially the modern-day mystery and it engaged you from the beginning. The cold case seemed to be just kind of an add-on side story and the book was fine with or without it.
I have to say the narrator didn’t really do it for me and I can only point to two reasons. First reason is that its not the same narrator as Haunted Hijinks so the characters voices weren’t the same. The second reason is that the narrator made Eleanor sound like a crazy senior citizen with all her giggles that made Eleanor sound insane. It was very different from the other book.
November 5, 2025
After reading 2 pages of this book, I had to delete it completely from my Kindle account. Initially, I looked forward to reading the book: older ladies solving crimes? SIGN ME UP. Perhaps this is why I was so disappointed that after several attempts of reading and rereading the same pages, I closed the book for good. The writing style felt similar to running my hands over the rough side of a velcro patch. I read a few paragraphs out loud to my husband, hoping to chalk up my aversion to a different author's style. Sometimes this happens if I read too many books in a row with a similar writing style; it takes me a few chapters to settle into something different. But the constant tense changes within sentences and paragraphs made me want to rip my hair out. We do this often when we speak, which we don't catch because it doesn't sound too awful to our ears, but in writing, it can be detrimental to the reader. It's an easy habit to fall into and more difficult than you think to break.
This book may check the box of someone who doesn't get the nails-on-the-chalkboard-esque feeling of this type of writing. For them, I hope they enjoy this book immensely.
This book may check the box of someone who doesn't get the nails-on-the-chalkboard-esque feeling of this type of writing. For them, I hope they enjoy this book immensely.
January 6, 2018
This book was a dnf for me. I tried. I really did. I got more than half way but things were so disjointed and random and I couldn't understand why people were doing what they were doing half the time, not to mention the contradictory emotional cues in the text that popped up so often, and it made me feel like I was on a roller coaster.
I hate roller coasters.
The writing was often rambling and occasionally preachy. And although the author has an explanatory introduction where she discusses whether or not senior citizens really behave like this (and apparently you'd be surprised, plus deliberate choices by the author to write the characters in an over the top way), I just found the MC and her best friend becoming unlikeable, not to mention some of the other seniors in the town. I don't want to invest in a character who I don't really like and I have so many other books on my phone waiting to be read that I decided not to keep forcing myself with this one and just move on to something else.
I hate roller coasters.
The writing was often rambling and occasionally preachy. And although the author has an explanatory introduction where she discusses whether or not senior citizens really behave like this (and apparently you'd be surprised, plus deliberate choices by the author to write the characters in an over the top way), I just found the MC and her best friend becoming unlikeable, not to mention some of the other seniors in the town. I don't want to invest in a character who I don't really like and I have so many other books on my phone waiting to be read that I decided not to keep forcing myself with this one and just move on to something else.
October 13, 2019
Bright pink bikini panty wearing Agnes Barton isn’t a typical seventy-two-year-old widow, but if it’s convenient to use as a reason Agnes will use it. When the twelfth young woman mysteriously disappears in the area, memories of Agnes’ own granddaughter, missing under the same circumstances surface, it’s enough to start Agnes poking around on her own.
The efforts of Agnes and her eighty-two-year-old partner in crime, Eleanor, unearth clues but the police seem to ignore them causing the women to wonder if they’re involved, especially when imported goons arrive and beat people who might have information. It also seems the disappearances are linked to cases Agnes husband was a state trooper.
This is a wordy, fast paced, humorous read that is certain to bring chuckles at the women’s over the top antics while proving no matter what time has taken along with their youth these lovably adorable women aren’t done, including causing disturbances with their flirting and their ability to finish the task.
Rating 3stars
The efforts of Agnes and her eighty-two-year-old partner in crime, Eleanor, unearth clues but the police seem to ignore them causing the women to wonder if they’re involved, especially when imported goons arrive and beat people who might have information. It also seems the disappearances are linked to cases Agnes husband was a state trooper.
This is a wordy, fast paced, humorous read that is certain to bring chuckles at the women’s over the top antics while proving no matter what time has taken along with their youth these lovably adorable women aren’t done, including causing disturbances with their flirting and their ability to finish the task.
Rating 3stars
September 10, 2019
Make My Day
Wow I mean WOW I'm over the hill maby even a little round the bend but the ladies in this story bring me to almost pee myself from laughing so much the caracters they hang out with remind me of a few of golden oldy palls and the bad guys are so very bad . I really enjoy how the writer Ms.Johns knows how to showcase a true woman of the world and not old equals rocking chairs and pull ups. Once a P.I. always a P.I. is how seventy-two year old Agnes feels when her grand daughter and other young woman start to go missing and she vows to bring them home alive. There seems to be be al ot of men with secrets and a conecting old murder case to push through to get the answers she needs but no one or thing is going to stop her from finding her grand daughter and others.You really don't want to miss this mystery so find a copy to and start enjoying " Armed and Outrageous "a seniors sleuth today. Happy reading. Kat
Wow I mean WOW I'm over the hill maby even a little round the bend but the ladies in this story bring me to almost pee myself from laughing so much the caracters they hang out with remind me of a few of golden oldy palls and the bad guys are so very bad . I really enjoy how the writer Ms.Johns knows how to showcase a true woman of the world and not old equals rocking chairs and pull ups. Once a P.I. always a P.I. is how seventy-two year old Agnes feels when her grand daughter and other young woman start to go missing and she vows to bring them home alive. There seems to be be al ot of men with secrets and a conecting old murder case to push through to get the answers she needs but no one or thing is going to stop her from finding her grand daughter and others.You really don't want to miss this mystery so find a copy to and start enjoying " Armed and Outrageous "a seniors sleuth today. Happy reading. Kat
July 31, 2017
Mustang-driving, 72-year-old Agnes Barton doesn't act her age...except when her body protests at her quick pace of a lifestyle. She and her friend Eleanor find out there's a missing girl, and Agnes just knows it's related to her granddaughter's disappearance from a year ago. Little do they know at the outset that it's also related to a 43-year-old murder that's been closed and possibly covered up by the sheriff! Add to their sleuthing that the friend of the missing girl's dad is Agnes' boss from years back when she got her PI start and who was her crush (though he was married at the time), and you're in for a crazy ride. This is the start of the Pink Ladies Detective Agency, named for their Pink Lady revolvers. Most of their friends are their age, so it's certainly a humorous glimpse into the life of seniors....a bit over-the-top in places, but ask me again when I'm 72.
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