Finding Gideon: A Broken Dream, a Missing Horse, and the Faith of a Mustard Seed

by Sarah Hickner

A horse, a dog, and a longtime dream coming together—what more could a girl want?

Since the day I read my first Thoroughbred series book in fifth grade, I imagined crouching over the withers of a racehorse, feeling its muscles bunch together and release with each stride. But I wanted more than an image in my mind—I wanted it in real life.

It was my junior year of college when I left home to chase that dream, and for a minute I had it between my fingers. Gideon rode in the horse trailer and Sandi was curled into a ball in the backseat when I moved to Louisville. Within two weeks I was pounding down the track on young Thoroughbreds, impressing trainers with my bravery and skill. But soon, piece by piece, it began to crumble. Holding onto the dream, and my faith, was like grabbing water by the fistful and watching it slip between my fingers.

How could I keep going in this land of strangers and broken dreams? How could I trust the God who gives when He’s also the God who takes away? But how could I quit when the dream still stirred in my bones and Gideon was out there somewhere?

333 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 28, 2023

About the author

Sarah makes her author debut with Stories from the Barn Aisle. Always a storyteller and a bit of an adventurer, she finally decided to write her stories for the world to read. As a kid, her favorite books were from the Thoroughbred series, and the books inspired her to leave her home state of Mississippi to gallop racehorses in Kentucky while in college. Sarah is now settled down (which sounds more grown up than she feels) in Virginia with her husband, two kids, a horse, a dog, and a bearded dragon.

Reviews

[L. Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

There is no other rating to give this beautiful, vulnerable memoir than 5 stars. The sadness I felt everytime I had to close this book to go do life! I found myself dreaming of horseriding at night-- this book truly got into my soul in the best way.

A lot of people tend to steer clear of memoirs feeling that they read too much like non-fic. This book read so much like fiction. There were moments I forgot I was reading a memoir. It's incredibly well done. Honestly, this is in my top 3 memoirs ever read.

I love horses, I love riding them. I don't know much about them. I'm definitely that person who has riden a horse, but someone did all the work getting it ready for me. I felt a little intimidated with this novel, which has been sitting on my TBR longer than I should admit, because I was worried I wouldn't understand all the horse jargon. The author did such a good job of making sure that even if you're not an expert on horses, or maybe you've only admired a horse from afar that you understand everything. There wasn't one moment where I felt confused or that I needed to go back to see if I missed something to help my understanding of horses and horseriding. It was expertly done.

A part of this I also loved was the author's faith. I grew up in a strict Catholic home, however in my adult life I'm agnostic. That said, it's easy to relate to needing to have faith that everything will work out. This author went through so much chasing her dream, and literally within weeks of finally getting where she needed to be, everything fell apart. A horrific accident, her horse going missing-- my heart ached! Through it all, she held fast her faith that everything would work out how it was supposed to, and that's beautiful. It was all beautifully written. If you're not a person who believes in God or a higher power, this book is still incredibly relatable in the sense that life happens and you can't always control it. You do have to give up that need to control everything to get results or go where you need to go.

I have so much to say about this memoir, more than I think I've ever said about a memoir. The biggest takeaway here is that this is 5-star MUST READ! The only thing I'm sorry about is taking so long to get to this book. It's brilliantly written, and I connected with this author so much.

A big thank you to the author for sharing this part of her life with me. I can't rave about this book enough. I don't think I'll ever be able to praise this book enough. Just incredible!

[Brenna Hafner · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/4
I struggle a bit to get through this book solely because I am not a highly religious person. Which is book and Sarah’s life and experiences in the book are all based heavily on her faith and religion. Sarah story is beautiful about her will and perseverance through all the trials that she was thrown into. Gideon and Sandy melt anyone’s hearts. Overall a good story.

[Sarah Hickner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seeing as I wrote, rewrote, rewrote again, and went through several rounds of edits, I’m not sure if I’m the one to give an unbiased review.
My review is completely biased. My name is on the bottom of the cover.
This is a story about a girl (me) who had this dream that was so deep in my bones I couldn’t seem to quit. But it seemed like it just might kill me before I achieved it.
It’s about the horse who held my heart suddenly disappearing.
It’s about love finding me when I least expected it.
And it’s about learning to trust a God who gives AND takes away.
I pray that it blesses everyone who reads it 💗

[Alex Scrimpshire · Rating 5 out of 5]

It can be easy to assume that some breeze through life and accomplish everything with minimal resistance. This book, however, sheds light on the author's ups and downs (literally) of pursuing a lifelong dream of riding horses and takes the reader on a journey of shortcomings and setbacks interlaced with optimism and faith. Not only does this book tell a great story, but it does a good job of telling the story while also letting the reader see the author's innermost thoughts, fears, frustrations, obstacles, and perspectives.

I love how the author shares her conversations and thoughts with God and shows how, even to strong Christians, there can be strong struggles and questions about what God's plan is for them. This book can be a great conversation for the spiritually young and the spiritually mature.

I know only a small amount of horses or the horse industry but this book was a fascinating look into that lifestyle and really makes one appreciate the dedication required to be in that industry and lifestyle.

Finally, the book will pull at all your emotions, from sympathy and sadness to excitement and laughter. A definitely exciting and worthwhile read!

[Candie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Gideon

Oh boy. Where to start? This book was amazing! I loved every word of it and could really put myself into it. It brought back memories of losing my own heart horse, Jesse, in Feb 2007. And, I got choked up for Sarah. I could feel her anguish when he was stolen. My own horse and pony got out one night and I didn’t know it until I went out to feed them and they were missing. In the end, they had gotten out, traveled a major highway and ended up in the cemetery on the edge of the next town. But, I could feel Sarah’s anguish and terror to find Gideon missing. It’s not often I can put myself into a book this much, but I really loved it. I would highly recommend this book to horse lovers of any age!!!

[Desiree Miller-Ballagas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a good book!!! This is the first memoir I’ve ever read and the first Christian book I’ve read that wasn’t the Bible / devotional or Bible study and it was so pleasant to read 💖 made me tear up many times 🥹❤️

[Shelbi Nealy · Rating 3 out of 5]

AMAZING

This book was great. The story gave a great example of how even though not all things are good, God is good in all things. I love horses, and I love God, so this was great how it was wrapped into one. It showed how to trust in God in all circumstances, even racing thoroughbreds. It was easy to follow and I couldn’t stop reading it!! Thanks for a great book.

[Amanda (aebooksandwords) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was excited after seeing the synopsis of “Finding Gideon” because during my childhood years I took riding lessons (and I longed to be in either horse-racing or showjumping), and also because I’m a believer in Christ who loves reading memoirs like this. That said, you still never know what to expect with any book, but I was tremendously surprised with this one!

“Finding Gideon” is beautifully narrated in a way that you feel as if you are watching the events happening in the book while reading. I breezed through the book in just a few days because I didn’t want to put it down from even the very beginning.

One line from Sarah’s journey that really stood out to me as she struggled with doubt and frustration with God in the trial she was facing was, “I knew all the Sunday School answers, but this was no Sunday School question.”

I also highlighted this helpful wisdom from Sarah’s journeys:

“On rare occasions, God answers prayers in a big way that leaves us stunned and speechless. More often, His answers are simple and we don't even notice. Some prayers go seemingly unanswered, as if the lack of response is a response in itself. I was mostly okay with that.
If I had learned anything, it was to trust my Creator.”

I enjoyed how every detail was masterfully depicted and also how the writer shared her doubts about God honestly. Not only was the writing fantastic, but her story and her vulnerability in sharing it was moving and impactful.

Thank you to the author for gifting me this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily. All opinions are my own.

[Lavender Jade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook review.

This is such a fantastic book! It is very well written and narrated, with a moving and heartwarming story, absolutely captivating and inspirational.

A review copy was sent to me by the author. All of the above opinions are my own.

[Joyce Bloemker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Gideon starts off strong, like a kick in the face from a racehorse. Literally. It caught my attention quickly and drew me in. The first few chapters were a lot of flashbacks filling in Hickner’s story up until the start of the novel, but she does it in a way that feels very natural. 

Then, there is a tone shift for the final chapters. It started when she left Kentucky which she described as an out-of-body experience, and it actually felt like an out-of-body experience for me reading those chapters. I could feel a change happening and I wasn’t sure if I liked it. 

Hickner was very intentional with the structure of her writing for this book, and it only added to the emotions I felt. 

There were so many twists and turns during her life in Kentucky that I couldn’t imagine what would come next! I wasn’t sure if she could hold onto her faith. She struggled at the time, but it was clear in the writing that her faith is strong and non-wavering now.

She says in the book, “This felt like a story I needed to live,” and she did. She lived it, had faith in God, and has now been able to share her story with the world. 

Hickner’s writing is wow! Finding Gideon is so well written! I keep repeatedly noting that the writing is so vivid, full of emotion, and fun because I can’t think of another way to describe it. Some of my favoirte lines from the book are: “unhappiness stretched from my boots to my ponytail," "a thunderstorm of colors painted my lower back," and "striding into the room like a wave unapologetically surging to shore." Each sentence and chapter of Finding Gideon made me feel with and for Hickner. I was constantly cheering her on when she needed it and felt sadness for her even when she decided to not feel sad for herself. She made me feel like I was on the back of a thoroughbred with her and caused my muscles to become sore from breezing! 

As I said before, there are countless twists and turns within this story that makes it an emotional rollercoaster. I was expereincing each emotion with and for her.

As well as being wonderfully written and carefully structured, I had a lot of fun reading Finding Gideon because there were a few things that felt like personal connections for me. The tree seat her brother built reminds me of the non-tree house I had growing up, Gideon often breathes right into her nose like my horse does with me, and I also almost had an animal in my life named Flash that just wasn’t meant to be. 

However, my favorite part of the whole story was Hickner’s surprise at the frozen ground! Hickner was born and raised in Mississippi and didn’t understand how the ground in Kentucky could freeze in the winter. Being from Pennsylvainna, it’s something I’ve never even questioned. 

Finding Gideon is a heartfelt and wonderful story. It has encouraged me to push forward and dare to live out my dreams just as Hickner did and to truely appreciate every moment I have with my horses. It has given me a new outlook on life and will always be there as a reminder for me. 

[Billy Buttons · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: Finding Gideon: A Broken Dream, a Missing Horse, and the Faith of a Mustard Seed
Author: Sarah Hickner

Star Rating: 4 Stars
Number of Readers: 15
Stats
Editing: 10/10
Writing Style: 9/10
Content: 6/10
Cover: 5/5

Of the 15 readers:
11 would read another book by this author.
15 thought the cover was good or excellent.
15 felt it was easy to follow.
13 would recommend this book to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 3 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘plotting a story’.
Of all the readers, 4 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘developing the characters’.
Of all the readers, 8 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’.
15 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
11 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.

Readers’ Comments
“I think YAs who have a horse will LOVE this book. It’s a good drama which I felt was well-written with good characters. The MC is determined and brave – cool to root for.” Female reader, aged 15
“I enjoyed all the ‘horse’ stuff, but it was a bit too Godish for me. I think 13 – 16 year olds who go to church will enjoy it the most. Gideon, the horse, is sweet. The MC is brave and when she’s injured, she’s determined to get back on a horse. I think it’s biographical but it feels like a novel.” Female reader, aged 16
“Good for Christian readers. As with so many American authors, the story gets very ‘faith’ heavy which I don’t think British teenagers are particularly into. But I sort of skipped over parts of it and focused on her journey, her riding, being a jockey and the horse. Overall, I enjoyed it, the MCs love for her horse shining through.” Male reader, aged 15
“The cover looks AMAZING! I liked the writing style as it’s so simple to follow. Also, I got to know the MC mega-well. I think the author did a fab job of showing the reader what it’s like to ride a horse, the ups and the downs.” Female reader, aged 16

To Sum It Up:
‘A faith-based story of a young woman’s battle to be a jockey. A FINALIST and highly recommended!’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards

[A.M. Swink · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Finding Gideon' is a beautifully written tale about a girl, her horse, and her dog embarking on a dream to gallop racehorses in Kentucky and how they handle that dream's derailment in the most inspiring of ways.

Sarah's memoir is so hauntingly honest. She bears everything, including her lowest moments and darkest thoughts. Her courage in the face of everything she goes through during her time in Louisville is beyond admirable - she shows remarkable strength when at her very weakest. She attributes this strength to her Christian faith, which is sorely tested by the events she recounts. I admire how much she is able to draw from that faith and find what it takes to keep moving. Seeing the pieces fall apart and come together into her remarkable true-life tale made for a gripping page-turner.

The prose is so eloquent and beautiful here. Hickner paints a vivid picture of everything she tells in a way that lifts this from a mere memoir to a real piece of literary non-fiction. Her tone, meanwhile, is so relatable that you feel as if you know the author intimately by the book's end. She becomes a compelling character in her own right against the colorful humans and animals lining this inspirational tale. The story she weaves of her horse, Gideon, brought tears to my eyes by the book's end. What a special animal and what a bond they shared!

What a brilliant book from an incredible horse girl! I also very much enjoyed the sweet coda to the book in her short story, 'Three Horses and a Wedding,' which is free to read when you sign up for her newsletter at liveridelearn.com. Don't miss this lovely bonus content either!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such an incredible book. I find it unusual to read memoirs with such an emphasis on the author's Christianity, their faith. From the very beginning, it was up front and personal. And that's something I wish I could find more of. For me, my faith is a part of who I am. So much of this book captured my heart. I loved that every day, every moment, she used her faith and prayers, and she constantly looked to God to guide her path. I used to be a rider, and I used to own horses. They were a fun part of my life, which i took for granted. Falling off, getting hurt--those things were just normal parts of daily living and riding. I learned so much about different training methods, especially in my last several years of riding. I love the way some of those things, including Sarah's hopes and dreams, were incorporated into this book. I think she captured very well the empathy that horses are so well-known for, and her relationship with Gideon clearly shows how well humans and horses can relate to one another when they're well matched. I really felt like an insider into Sarah and Gideon's story. It was beautifully written and shared. And I understand a major revelation she came to, having had to recognize it and accept it myself. This was outstanding. I love her capacity to love and forgive! Just beautiful!

[Linda7600 · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a child, I read every horse story I could get my hands on. My love for horses was unending and ever on my mind. I was hoping for one of my in the future. This book took me back in time, reading all of her thoughts and emotions that she put into getting her first horse. Sarah, as an author, you can write one outstanding story. It’s easy to read it flows perfectly and it’s never tiring. You’ve taken me back to verses in the Bible that I haven’t read in a long time and provided new ones that I haven’t . Thank you so much for your heartfelt words and the rides you took us one. I loved remembering the feel of a horse underneath me whether it was the right thing, and yes, I did do that along with confirmation, showing, riding the trails and just flat out having a blast each time I rode. To get to feel what the truck was like through your words and descriptions meant the world to me as I read your story. I shed tears with each trial you went through and how you handled yourself with such dignity, even though it didn’t seem like it to you. Thank you for such a warm and wonderful story .

[S.M. Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Gideon is a touching memoir that is as much about faith as it is about a girl chasing her passion for horseback riding. Her parents thought she might outgrow it, but Sarah is persistent in her pursuit of her dreams. Gut-wrenching obstacles that would dissuade the average person seem to make our real-life heroine want it more.

There are relatable spiritual questions here as well. When things go horribly wrong, is God punishing us? Testing us? Or molding us and inspiring those around us? Upsets and setbacks build character but that’s easier to see when you aren’t the one suffering.

This is a sweet and compelling read.

[Kelly Maurica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding Gideon By Sarah Hickner will captivate you from the moment you turn to page one.

Sarah Hickner weaves a poignant and at times heartbreaking story that paints a vivid picture of human emotions that are at times raw and real.

I found myself on a rollercoaster of emotion throughout this novel.

Finding Gideon is a testament to Sara’s storytelling ability and a riveting tale of exploration of the complex labyrinth that is the human spirit.

If you love a good ‘dreams can come true’ story, with a side of unexpected tragedy, culminating in triumph then you will certainly enjoy Finding Gideon.

I know I did!

[Danae Whitteker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I served as Sarah's editor for this book, but that doesn't change my opinion that this is an amazing story. It's a memoir that reads like a novel, and you'll probably laugh, cry, get angry, and just might be inspired. The writing is lovely and the plot is engaging. If you like books about horses, dreaming big, Christian faith, or finding your way, this one is for you. It also has a very strong sense of place (Louisville is almost a character), so if you live in or enjoy Kentucky it's for you too. It was an honor to help Sarah craft this story.

[C.D. McKenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredible read that is both inspiring and motivating - it is a story about self-discovery, self-love, and so much more. As readers, we follow a story of many obstacles but with a persistent and determined heroine who, at times, questions the world around her and why these things continue.

Hickner is a stunning storyteller with beautiful imagery - there are quite a few scenes where it feels like I could have reached through the pages and physically held the emotion being described or the item before her.

Amazing and looking forward to the next one!!

[Stephanie Pereboom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written book! Sarah’s descriptions of everything make you feel like you are right there. This book is great for horse lovers, but anyone with a dream will enjoy this story of courage, doubt, triumphs, and failures. The message behind the story is so beautiful. I especially loved the Christian messages in the book. So inspiring! Love, love, love this book. I highly recommend it.

[Katie Holt · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing !!

I adore this book! It resonated so much with me and my struggles in trying to make my own horse dreams come true. The candor in which she speaks about her prayers and conversations with God are inspirational. This is a whole new perspective. Look forward to reading it again! Thank you for such a wonderful story. As someone who has been through many trials and tribulations with horses and life in general, this gives me the encouragement to keep on going.’

[Linda Shantz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been not-so patiently waiting for this since I finished reading Stories From The Barn Aisle two years ago. I loved this memoir so much - I'm sure largely because I chased the same dream at the same age (just not as recently!). The author tells her story with a touching humility that can't help but speak to the reader. May it reach those who need to hear it. ❤️

[Cheryl L.E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well-written and engaging memoir. Hickner made the reader feel the ups and downs of her journey--feeling the challenges as well as the victories. She speaks of her faith eloquently. If you are a Christian, you will gain a great deal from her talk of her faith. If you are not, you will still gain from her story, in my opinion.

[Pamela H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah's story reads like a high drama fiction with a sweet romance. This true story with inspire and encourage you. If you love horses, sweet romance, stories about overcoming the odds, or journeys of faith you will love this book.

[Lainie Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must Read for anyone

Hard times pass. Sometimes, we just forget who walks with us and provides the way.

Sarah shows how faith works and that we don't always understand what God has planned. We just need to keep Him first.

[Marie Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heart Wrenching & Heartwarming

This book was so full of turmoil and anxiety, but also hope and faith. I’m still bawling at that ending. It was also eye opening with God’s promises. I loved this read.

[Kerry Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A new horse story

This book was so good. I wasn't sure what to expect, but oh my! Once it got a hold of me, I couldn't let it go. If you love horses and God stories,this one is for you! Thank you Sarah for taking the time to be honest and vulnerable!

[Sequoyah Branham · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful story!
Memoirs are hit or miss for me, but this one is so well written. I was impressed how the author was able to keep my attention and keep me on track even as the timeline wasn’t straight through.
Inspirational. Inspiring!

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful story ❤️

[Kate Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely beautiful!

Loved this from being to end!
I would definitely recommend this book ,its truly an inspiring walk of faith .

[Lynne Husbands · Rating 5 out of 5]

review of finding Gideon

Beautifully written book using real
Life circumstances and showing Gods love through it all..Sarah is very humble And honest…It is truly a great book.