Weird Golf: 18 Tales of Fantastic, Horrific, Scientifically Impossible, and Morally Reprehensible Golf

by Dave Donelson

Tongue firmly in cheek, Dave Donelson tells some of the strangest stories in golf. Like the grudge match at Pebble Beach between Superman and Batman. Meet the golf pro who sold his soul to the devil and the werewolf who makes a run at the Grand Slam. And don't forget the guy who can cure your slice if you'll only let him bite your neck. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you might even throw up your dinner, but Weird Golf will make you think twice about teeing it up at twilight. Golf has so much more to offer than hushed fairways and perfectly-trimmed greens. For golfers with open and slightly-twisted minds, there are also blue gnomes that read putts, ghosts with golf tips, and witches you never, ever want to play through. These 18 stories by veteran golf writer Dave Donelson will help you push aside your long-drive ego, peel back your putter-shaking id, and expose the goofy golfer deep inside. Yuri Shoots Par - Learn golf and shoot par in seven days? No problem for Yuri the extra-terrestrial. Screaming Blue Yips - When an irritable blue gnome reads your putts, you better pay attention. Grand Slam - Bobby Jones did it, Tiger Woods almost did it, now a werewolf shoots for the moon. A Rant And Ramble Into The Origins Of Golf - Forget the Scots. If you want to know where golf came from, check the Garden of Eden. By The Rules - A caddie's view of how the game should be played and what happens to those who break the rules. Superhero Grudge Match - It's a supercharged slugfest when Batman meets Superman on the first tee at Pebble Beach. Choker - When you're in the club championship, make sure you don't bit off more than you can chew. Moon Golf - The stakes are astronomical when the fate of the universe hangs on a golf match on the far side of the moon. A Not-So-Brief History Of Golf Time - The real reasons golf is played at glacier speed. The View From The Mountain - A teaching pro with ambition meets the hottest guru in the business. Night Putting - Twilight golf is not only cheaper, it's deadlier. Better Ball - When the club two-man title is at stake, be sure to choose your teammate carefully. Balderwhipple - Double double, toil and trouble, bogeys burn and hazards bubble. Would you Care to play through? Bald Peter's Pond - A personal injury lawyer learns the hard way to listen to his caddie's advice. Three Club Advantage - Do the numbers and you might discover you don't really need a bag full of clubs. Ben Hogan's Secret - There's only one way to learn the golf legend's secret, but when you do it's probably too late. Lost Ball At Hemlock Hills - Every public links golfer dreams of belonging to a fancy-schmanzy private club, although the initiation fees can kill you. As Time Goes By - When a golf fanatic enters a time warp, he leaves behind more than a golf widow.

248 pages, Paperback

First published March 28, 2012

About the author

I'm a freelance writer and photographer who regularly works for about three dozen magazines and newspapers covering a diverse range of topics including social issues, business, travel, golf, and lifestyles. I'm the author of eight books (so far), including Weird Golf: 18 Tales of Fantastic, Horrific, Scientifically Impossible, and Morally Reprehensible Golf.

Among my other works is my novel about diamond smuggling in the Congo, Heart of Diamonds and The Dynamic Manager Guide series, which is based on my work with hundreds of companies across the country.

My career as a broadcaster, entrepreneur, and writer has taken me from the jungles of Australia’s Cape York Peninsula to the minarets of Riyadh. I've climbed the spire of the Empire State Building, floated the Usumacinta River to the Mayan ruins at Piedras Negras in Guatemala, and photographed the tree-climbing lions and mountain gorillas of Uganda.

Reviews

[Skjam! · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received this book through a Firstreads giveaway in the expectation that I would review it.

To make where I'm coming from clearer, I'm not a sports fan, and in specific not a golf fan. I've played just enough golf to know the game doesn't appeal to me as a player, and I don't believe I have ever watched an entire match on TV. However, I'm a big fan of "strange sports stories" which blend a real-life sport with fantastic elements.

As you might gather, this is a single-author anthology which is exclusively about golf. Thus, the changes are rung by introducing different unusual elements, not all impossible. It's double-spaced for easy reading.

The best single story is "Grand Slam", where a veteran golf writer (much like the author) realizes there's something more unusual than most about an up and coming golfer. The ending's very predictable, but the research is good.

Mr. Donelson appears to have been his own editor/proofreader, as there are a couple of "relies on spellchecker" errors.

And then there is the story "Superhero Grudge Match", in which Superman and Batman compete to join a pro-am golf tournatment. I was very surprised to not see a fanfic disclaimer, or an indication that Mr. Donelson got permission to use the characters for his book.

It really felt like the writer hadn't done the research on the comic book characters nearly as well as he'd researched Pebble Beach. The story references some current events that might have made the business pages, but the Batman and Robin combo used were clearly the ones from the 1960e TV series. The characterizations are closest to the Silver Age "World's Finest" comic books, in which Superman, Batman or both suddenly start acting dickishly for reasons given at the end of the story. Except that this time they're dickish for the sole purpose of winning a golf game.

Notably, though both heroes end up cheating during the match, neither of them uses the skills/powers that would allow them to be freakishly good at golf. As a comic book fanfic reader, I have to say it's not very good.

I would only recommend this book to people looking for a gift their golf-mad relative probably doesn't have already. It's a light read, suitable for rainy days and waiting for tee times.

For more anthology reviews, see http://www.skjam.com/tag/anthology/

[David Caldwell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won a copy on Goodreads Firstreads.

To be totally honest,I am a non-golfer.So I almost skipped this book giveaway.Then I thought that it might make a good gift for my brother-in-law who is a golfer.I also was confused about the book itself.At first, I thought this was a collection of strange but true golf stories.So when I got the book and discovered it was stories about golfing and golfers.This lead me to think, this might be a good book for either golfers or those who like sci-fi/fantasy short stories.This especially appealed since I am fond of sci-fi/fantasy short stories.

Unfortunately I felt most of the stories just didn't work for me.Some were just too golf -related for me to get into them.Again this was not totally unexpected.Others just felt like story concepts instead of an actual story.Finally some of the characters just didn't work.One such story was the grudrge match between Superman and Batman.(Yes , I am a comic book geek.)The best example is Batman is not going to be able to knock Superman down and then roll around on the ground with him.They are just not in the same weight class.Also neither one would cheat in such petty ways.It was more like the grudge match between actors who played those heroes.Another example is the moon golf story.Why wouldn't the aliens either the humans a deadline to get to the match or give them a ride?

My favorite story was of the witches dealing with the boorish golfers.It was well-thought out and paced nicely.Another good entry was Grand Slam. It made me think of a Kolchak the Nighstalker story.That is if Kolchak had been made to cover a golf tournament.

Several of the stories would have been better if they had just been polished a little more.Examples of these would have been the slime story and the ghost boy story.Both just fell short of the mark.

The only person to whom I would really recommend this book, would be a golfer who is also a casual fan of sci-fi/fantasy short stories.I am sure there are a few out there, but I can't imagine it being avery large market.

[Tallulah A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Weird Golf: 18 Tales of Fantastic, Horrific, Scientifically Impossible, and Morally Reprehensible Golf is a funny book for a somewhat limited audience. I expected the book to be non-fiction (due to a lack of detail in the Goodreads summary). Sort of a strange-but-true for golf. It is mostly a mixture of fiction short stories, many with a science-fiction bent. I should say upfront that I am not a golfer. I don’t play at all. I visit the driving range once every three years or so. I do, however, have a decent understanding of the game and watch a few matches from time to time each season.

I think that to truly appreciate Weird Golf, you have to know a bit about golf and like playing or watching the game. The book is laced with golf terminology, golf history, and golf humor. So much so that I imagine that it would be a very slow read for those not familiar with the game. It’s not a book where you can “wing it” on the golf.

The stories themselves were hit-or-miss for me. Honestly, the first two almost made me put down the book. Fortunately, the remaining stories got progressively better. There is more good than bad. (The stories that were misses seemed underdeveloped and needed more fleshing out.) Of the eighteen stories, I especially liked Grand Slam, Balderwhipple, Three Club Wind, and The View From The Mountain.

Golf fans with a good (and slightly twisted) sense of humor and a penchant for science fiction will like this book more than others. I can see a golfer enjoying a story or two while waiting for the group in front to clear the tee box at the golf course.

Recommended for:
-Golf fans

NOTE: I received a free copy of "Weird Golf: 18 Tales of Fantastic, Horrific, Scientifically Impossible, and Morally Reprehensible Golf" through a Goodreads First Reads giveaway.

Full review at A. Literary Mafia: http://aliterarymafia.wordpress.com/2...

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won Weird Golf through a Library Thing giveaway.

18 wonderful and original golf-related stories. I think my favorite was the one with the superheroes. I was laughing out loud and drawing some very strange looks from the people around me.

This book would make a great gift to the golf-lovers in your life.