This is the moving story of a little boy named Derek Craig born to an unwed mother in 1939 in London. Derek’s mother Jean Craig and his father Raymond had escaped to London, separating themselves from both sets of parents who disapproved of their relationship. But it was wartime and jobs were scarce so after two months in the city they embarked on their plan to establish a new and better life in South Africa, pulled to that far continent by the prospect of full time work. Raymond was to go ahead and get established and Jean was to join him later. She would find work in London and try to save whatever she could for their new future.
Shortly after Raymond left for South Africa, Jean discovered she was pregnant and their dreams were interrupted, sending both their lives on different paths. Jean never told Raymond about the pregnancy, knowing he was struggling to establish himself and so Raymond did not learn of the baby’s existence until many years later.
When Jean delivered her son, she knew she could not keep him. Raymond was on the other side of the world, she was not married and did not have the means to support a child on her own. When she learned about the Foundling Hospital it seemed a good alternative, keeping her baby until she could retrieve him at some later time when she and Raymond were established. Little did she know it would be another twenty years before she saw her son again.
The couple continued writing to one another but Raymond unable to find work in South Africa, moved to Rhodesia, his letters became less frequent and gradually dropped off completely. Jean realized she might not see him again and needed to rethink her life. So when Britain declared war on Germany and Londoners prepared for the inevitable bombing, she returned to Glasgow, weathered the stares, shame and humiliation of friends and family, took up her former position as a legal secretary and tried to begin again.
Jean and Raymond’s son was one of the last children admitted to London’s Foundling Hospital. Like the others, he was stripped of his identity and given a new name, from that point on known as Tom Humphreys. He spent most of his young life at the facility and was the last to leave, having lived a life that was tough with little comfort. But Tom managed and looking back now knows the staff meant well. At the time, there was no clear understanding of the damage that institutional life could have on small children or what could happen when older children were put in charge of the younger ones, allowing them to bully and torture them.
Through the years Tom’s mother never stopped loving him, hoping to reunite with the son and eventually she did, even reconnecting with Raymond after both had married others and had families of their own. This is a true story, heart breaking in parts but also wonderful in how it eventually ended up.
Tom, the writer and narrator, explores the issues of unwed mothers during this time period and the huge stigma attached to illegitimate children and their parents. There were no social services and little help available to those in these dire circumstances. The Foundling Hospital was a charity set up to take in children without parents, a huge facility which housed six hundred boys and girls who called it their home. The large buildings were set on beautiful sprawling grounds and the children were well cared for but governed by strict routines enforced by harsh disciplinary measures. The younger ones were always at the mercy of the older boys who tormented them.
The goal of the charity was to provide the children with a roof over the heads, food to eat, a religious foundation and enough education that the girls could enter jobs in service and the boys could join the military. Their lives were an unending routine of daily chores, lessons and church. When they reached the age of fifteen they were sent out into the world to make a life for themselves. They had new names and knew nothing about their past, which their keepers hoped would erase the difficult circumstances of their birth.
When Tom was an infant he was fostered and had a wonderful early life with Elsie and Cecil, a kind couple who treated him as one of their own. Tom credits the love and security he found in their home with his ability to cope with the challenges he faced in later life. Those were happy years and lasted until Cecil died suddenly and Elsie remarried. Her second husband Jack was a man who disliked children and all the joy Tom had previously experienced in the home ended abruptly.
When he was five, he returned to the hospital as a boarder and fear became the single emotion that ruled his life. Fear of bullying or the humiliating punishments dispensed for the slightest misdemeanors; fear of being the weakest in a fight or the next cruel game the dormitory monitor would dream up for his amusement. Tom also had to accustom himself to a life ruled by habit, order and ritual and he found the lack of freedom difficult. Every day seemed the same. He was accustomed to playing with his sisters in the back fields virtually unsupervised, but now he was watched day and night and needed permission to do everything. The children were forced to march everywhere in pairs and the matron’s handclapping began and ended each activity. At meals they were required to eat everything put in front of them. Toileting was a highly ritualized activity, the children forced to stay on the toilet until they moved their bowels. The results were then scrutinized by a nurse, the only one authorized to flush the toilet. Nights in the dormitory were filled with the cries of anxious children and nail biting and bed wetting were common problems. The children attended church twice a week and three times on Sundays. Punishment was a swift slap on the wrists or ears and these were administered frequently and quickly.
When Tom left the infants’ section and joined the older boys, life became much tougher. Up to this point the younger children had been sheltered from the realities of the upper school. Now they had to move through the building without an escort and had to begin thinking for themselves.
Tom had to learn to evade the malice of the older boys and the wrath of the masters. Nights were a time of particular terror when the monitor, who had absolute power over their charges, found ways to hurt or humiliate them. They had the knack of finding ways to cause the maximum amount of pain without leaving any signs of violence.
Through the kindness of one Head Master and his wife who took a special interest in him, Tom learned about his mother and the efforts of George and Bessie, an elderly couple who fostered him, and wanted to adopt him. His mother Jean turned down that request, remaining determined to reclaim Tom when she could manage it. The idea that his mother was out there somewhere in the world, that she still loved him and wanted him back, was something Tom hung unto, a thought that helped him through tough times.
When Tom was discharged from the school at the age of fifteen, he took on several different jobs including that of photography assistant, trying to earn a living and support himself. In 1959, after he had completed a stint in the army he decided to try and track Jean down and they met for the first time in twenty years. The two quickly established a close relationship and in an even more unbelievable twist, Jean later reconnected with Tom’s Dad Raymond, and all three were finally able to live together as a family.
This is a “feel good” story, written by a man who survived a difficult childhood but ended up a well-adjusted human being. He professes nothing but love for his parents, gratitude for the Foundling Hospital that supported him and for the life he has had connected with his parents. He does not harbor resentment for the difficult times he endured at the Foundling Hospital, realizing that most of the staff were well intentioned and did what they thought was best. He applauds the efforts of the foster families who took him in and gave him a home filled with affection, despite the trying antics of his younger days.
The narrative carries both Jean and Tom’s stories, Jean as she struggled over the years to reconnect with her son and Tom who during those same years experienced life in foster homes and the Foundling Hospital. The author writes in simple prose but quickly draws you into his life story. He writes about his life in an unemotional matter-of-fact way, with the understanding that he was a victim of circumstances not ill will. He appreciates the fact he was always loved and that his mother never ceased to think about him, is thankful the Foundling Hospital was there when he needed it and grateful to the charity of donors that provided the means for it to do its work.
This book serves as a reminder of the many children who had much to bear in their younger years. Children are resilient yet often pay a high price for the adversity they endure when they are young. For those who negotiate the difficult journey to a successful life, they remain scarred in some way for what they have gone through to get there.
An interesting story which I believe would make a good film.