One of my pet peeves are those Facebook slogans that shout, “Be Positive!” or “Be Happy!” but offer no concrete steps to achieving this mental state, as if we can just wish ourselves there through will alone. They are like cheerleaders yelling “Go Team!”-- they may help morale, but they present no tactics for actually winning the game.
One reason I am drawn to Buddhism is that for 2,500 years, Buddhist monks have been systematically studying the mind and developing a system for transforming it through physical, mental, and ethical steps. The 8-Fold Path presents specific actions to rewire our brains. The most effective way to effect transformation is by addressing all aspects of our beings: physical, mental, and spiritual.
Which leads me to David Rutherford’s book, Navy Seal Training, Self-Confidence. Rutherford is not a Buddhist monk, but he is a Navy Seal, and the Seals have studied the mental aspects of success with the same focus and determination they bring to combat. They know how to transform a man into an effective warrior, physically and mentally. Self-Confidence is an enormous key, not only to professional success but to our personal happiness, and Rutherford breaks down how to attain self-confidence through systematic, concrete steps that address everything from your physical body to your emotional, mental, and spiritual being.
Rutherford's Self-Confidence plan has 8 missions in all, (not unlike the 8 fold path), and is full of clearly defined phrases and ample examples from his personal life to illustrate a chapter’s topic or mission. At the end of each chapter is an extremely helpful, short, work-book style list of questions. I’m a pretty contemplative person, but these questions helped me consider things which I hadn’t thought of before. Such as, “Who is the most squared away person that you know?” This led me to realize that while I know some very squared away people in their professional lives, many are considerably less squared away in their personal lives. Searching for those role models who have it together both professionally and personally led me to some surprising people.
Another question: “What are your goals for the next five years?” I saw that although I knew my goals, I didn’t have a concrete mission plan for obtaining them, and they aren't just going to happen on their own.
I found particularly helpful his thoughts on debrief and failure. Failure will inevitably occur in all our lives with some frequency, especially if we are pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone. When it does happen, it can be a big blow to our self-confidence. As a female firefighter working in a male dominated profession, I have at times taken small failures quite hard. It has taken me a long time to shake some of them off. Sometimes even minor failures can feel like confirmation that society’s limited view of my potential is accurate. (It’s not.) Yet Rutherford sees failure as essential to growth. Through debriefing, he reframes failure from a negative to a positive experience. By debriefing a failed mission, no matter how small, Rutherford is able to frame failure so that it deepens his self-knowledge and increases his lessons learned thereby strengthening his knowledge base. Through gaining knowledge about ourselves and what does not work, we actually grow stronger from failure and more resilient, which in turn, increases our self-confidence.
I am giving this book five stars for its depth and accessibility of content. It’s an important book to read especially for anyone in the Fire Service. However, this book is self-published and it doesn’t have the slickness or professionalism of a major press. Rutherford does have cheerleading tendencies (he would have made a good one), and there are definitely a lot of Hooyahs! here. But this is the most comprehensive, personal, and readable book I have found on Self-Confidence. I learned a lot about myself and (colleagues) from reading it. I recommend this book to everyone. You don’t need to be a Navy Seal of firefighter to benefit from Self-Confidence. Everyone has dreams, and this book can help you attain them and become the person you have always aspired to be.