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Single Is Not A Curse by Gaskins Jr, Tony A (2013) Paperback
This book is intended for those currently single or soon-to-be single. Most people hate being alone and we fear being stuck that way forever. Single life can be a blessing if you allow it to be. This book will teach you exactly what things to focus on while single so that you get the most out of single life. If you deal with single life the right way it will make for a much better married life.
- GenresSelf Help
Paperback
First published November 1, 2013
31 people are currently reading
292 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
November 14, 2021
I started reading this book because I was on a search for good books that talk about singleness. As I started reading it, I realized that this book is not what I was looking for - an empowering book on singleness that is not talking about 'waiting well' and teaching you how to attract the 'right kind of love'. It turned out that this book is exactly that - life coach in his late 20s sharing his experience in how to use your singleness to get the 'love you deserve.' To be honest, my main motivation for finishing this book is to write a review that is different than most reviews that I've read here about it. If you are looking for a book talking about value and meaning as well as difficulties of singleness as equal to the value, meaning and difficulties of relationship - you can erase this book from your reading list. If you are looking for a book that is about embracing singleness only as a waiting season and using it to get trained in how to attract the 'LOVE you deserve' and get out of 'toxic relationship' - in summary a 'relationship coaching book' - then you can read this one, even though I am sure there are books with a deeper content on the same topic out there.
July 22, 2023
In some ways this book is absolutely amazing. He says if you have been in back-to-back relationships ever since you started dating then something is wrong. He says if you're in a toxic relationship right now on your last relationship was toxic hat's a sign that you should take heat of. He explains that some people's expectations of a significant other are too high. And he explains that what they're looking for is superficial. He states there is a purpose in your pain and you have to find it. I thought that was very profound in regards to failed relationships or repeated broken patterns.
But there's a lot of things he teaches In this book that are completely and totally wrong. He says that men are more likely to break up with a girl because of her looks. That's untrue. Men may be unwilling to date someone seriously if he doesn't think they are pretty enough. But once a guy chooses to be in a monogamous relationship with a girl he only needs four things to be happy. Sex, attention, Fidelity, and peace. Usually when a guy breaks up with a girl she blames it on him being worldly. But the truth is she was failing out one of the four things above.
He claims that women oftentimes care about a guy's looks, income, and, height to much. This is probably true.
He also says that a girl should own a business or have a great career. That is also completely and totally untrue. Finding someone who is at their financial level or higher is something usually exclusive to women. You could have a male lawyer or surgeon who's willing to date a cashier at Walmart if she's young, pretty, is good to him, doesn't cause unnecessary drama in his life, is faithful, and doesn't withhold sex as a way to teach or punish.
But there's a lot of things he teaches In this book that are completely and totally wrong. He says that men are more likely to break up with a girl because of her looks. That's untrue. Men may be unwilling to date someone seriously if he doesn't think they are pretty enough. But once a guy chooses to be in a monogamous relationship with a girl he only needs four things to be happy. Sex, attention, Fidelity, and peace. Usually when a guy breaks up with a girl she blames it on him being worldly. But the truth is she was failing out one of the four things above.
He claims that women oftentimes care about a guy's looks, income, and, height to much. This is probably true.
He also says that a girl should own a business or have a great career. That is also completely and totally untrue. Finding someone who is at their financial level or higher is something usually exclusive to women. You could have a male lawyer or surgeon who's willing to date a cashier at Walmart if she's young, pretty, is good to him, doesn't cause unnecessary drama in his life, is faithful, and doesn't withhold sex as a way to teach or punish.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 18, 2020
I needed this
This book prompted me to take action. I like how well the author understands his audience. However, I chose 4 stars because I expected a book for singles to focus more on the lifestyle of a single person. For example, I would’ve liked if there was a chapter on each one of the five F’s. Nevertheless, that chapter was probably the most instrumental and now I am more confident that being single is a gift.
This book prompted me to take action. I like how well the author understands his audience. However, I chose 4 stars because I expected a book for singles to focus more on the lifestyle of a single person. For example, I would’ve liked if there was a chapter on each one of the five F’s. Nevertheless, that chapter was probably the most instrumental and now I am more confident that being single is a gift.
December 14, 2023
It’s not. And it will definitely change your perspective and mindset if you apply these things.
Truthfully answer the questions, and then make the changes!
I don’t want to spoil it but it’s an amazing read!
I’m glad I’m single in this season, because this book helped me to realize how much I like my single life. If you apply the gems that are written in this book… like Mr. Tony said “ You won’t be single long”.
Truthfully answer the questions, and then make the changes!
I don’t want to spoil it but it’s an amazing read!
I’m glad I’m single in this season, because this book helped me to realize how much I like my single life. If you apply the gems that are written in this book… like Mr. Tony said “ You won’t be single long”.
June 8, 2020
Reading this book has helped me understand that being single is not a bad thing. It's taught me to give myself time to heal from relationships of the past and learn to love me again. I've been single for 2 years I read this book 3 years ago. The author is absolutely amazing and very informative.
February 24, 2022
Interesting insight on singleness from male perspective. One of the books you pass along to friends. Quotable statements. I also felt like the author was trying to set the record straight to some readers for example: females with natural hair and him getting bullied
June 28, 2019
Life changing
Highly recommended to anyone looking to learn about true love.This book will help you understand what you should expect from love.
Highly recommended to anyone looking to learn about true love.This book will help you understand what you should expect from love.
January 11, 2016
The book had very strong points on areas of growth and things you should take advantage of while being single. It helps you awaken yourself to things that you should work on as well as things you should also be appreciative (5 Fs & 3Bs) of now and can do so without depending on others. I loved those points more than anything as that's what I had expected the book to focus on: loving yourself and investing in you. This was roughly 65% of the book which is why I give it 3 stars. Otherwise, I found the book more heteronormative than I was willing to accept and this deteriorated the therapeutic alliance one would wish to have with the author and his words--ultimately deterring me from internalizing other relationship specific advice because it was very focused "between man and woman." Once I took notice to the strong heteronormative values from the author, his influence from Christianity was also revealed throughout the book. It is not too strong and pressuring, but in combination with the heteronormativity, it left me a little uncomfortable- man and woman became a proxy for Adam and Eve. That's just my situation for relationships; I think the general heterosexual population will enjoy this book. I was hoping for more generalized things such as the 5 Fs and the 3 Bs that were more psychosocial tips and advice that the author had learned from LIFE experiences and SOCIAL situations from the interpersonal data from clients, rather than the information about male and female expectations and roles in relationships which is heavily influenced by his own marriage which is in turn built upon a foundation of Christian values that are more tied to a specific cultural faith rather than pure social experiences that can be applied to anyone. So for me specifically and someone looking to have a more neutral viewpoint on love, relationships, and singleness, I found 65% of this digestible and about half of that truly impactful, unbiased, pure, meaningful and useful. It really depends on what you are looking for. I am only encouraging the author to find more references and examples that are not so heteronormative; but of course without compromising his own integrity, values, and beliefs. Perhaps this book is mainly for husbands and wives and so I just think that people should be aware of the changing demographic trends in today's society, especially among the millennial generation.
November 17, 2025
It is with immense cringe induced pain that I am publicly posting this book review. I almost didn’t add this book to my "read" list because why would I expose myself like that. But also, idgaf. Actually, not true, I don’t "dgaf", but I’m behind on my reading goal and at this point reaching that matters more to me than seeming nonchalant or whatever. OMD ENOUGH RAMBLING. It’s review time.
I picked up this book because I saw it in one of my mutual’s reading lists, and the title gave me second-hand embarrassment (I’M SORRY). I gave it a shot anyway because I felt targeted by the premise on the cover page.
I mean absolutely no shade to the author by this, but it’s as if they took all common knowledge relationship advice and summarized it into a short little book. I wouldn’t say I learned much new. Here’s a little summary of some of the lessons:
- If your partner is abusing you, leave.
- Heal your traumas before entering a relationship.
- Love yourself, grow, and pour effort into family and friends.
- Relationships require compromise.
- Etc.
You get my point. These may be obvious to many, but some people really need these pieces of advice engraved in their brains or tattooed on their eyeballs.
I give it two stars, because I wouldn’t particularly recommend it to anyone I know, unless they’re absolutely clueless about romantic relationships and/or won’t stop crying to me about them not being in one. Even so, I’m sure a lot of people might find this book helpful.
I picked up this book because I saw it in one of my mutual’s reading lists, and the title gave me second-hand embarrassment (I’M SORRY). I gave it a shot anyway because I felt targeted by the premise on the cover page.
I mean absolutely no shade to the author by this, but it’s as if they took all common knowledge relationship advice and summarized it into a short little book. I wouldn’t say I learned much new. Here’s a little summary of some of the lessons:
- If your partner is abusing you, leave.
- Heal your traumas before entering a relationship.
- Love yourself, grow, and pour effort into family and friends.
- Relationships require compromise.
- Etc.
You get my point. These may be obvious to many, but some people really need these pieces of advice engraved in their brains or tattooed on their eyeballs.
I give it two stars, because I wouldn’t particularly recommend it to anyone I know, unless they’re absolutely clueless about romantic relationships and/or won’t stop crying to me about them not being in one. Even so, I’m sure a lot of people might find this book helpful.
May 21, 2019
Guidance to Healing, Uplift, Understanding, and God
I liked how Tony never claims to be something he is not in this book. He gives guidance based on evidence of his trials and one on ones with real people. Not going off of a bunch of books and tests read and given a “title”. No disrespect to certified professionals. A lot of times people can relate a lot better from actual experiences. This book has taught me to be PATIENT! Something that’s hard at times because I’m such a “go-getter”. I want to know what I did, when I did, what can I do etc. sometimes you have to Let go and Let God! “The 5 F’s” and “Three B’s” are paramount.
I liked how Tony never claims to be something he is not in this book. He gives guidance based on evidence of his trials and one on ones with real people. Not going off of a bunch of books and tests read and given a “title”. No disrespect to certified professionals. A lot of times people can relate a lot better from actual experiences. This book has taught me to be PATIENT! Something that’s hard at times because I’m such a “go-getter”. I want to know what I did, when I did, what can I do etc. sometimes you have to Let go and Let God! “The 5 F’s” and “Three B’s” are paramount.
February 22, 2021
Need to read every line
I will read this book multiple times just to reflect on being single In reminding myself that it's not a curse it's literally a blessing and that there are good things that come from being single more than anyone could ever know. I'm forever grateful that I came across this book and read it because I need ITIT's simply stairs me in the right pass into count my blessings on all the reasons that will come from taking this path alone and finding myself all over again I love this book
I will read this book multiple times just to reflect on being single In reminding myself that it's not a curse it's literally a blessing and that there are good things that come from being single more than anyone could ever know. I'm forever grateful that I came across this book and read it because I need ITIT's simply stairs me in the right pass into count my blessings on all the reasons that will come from taking this path alone and finding myself all over again I love this book
September 14, 2014
Single is not a curse! Love the title and the message! I really love the advice of this guy! This book is all about embracing single hood, loving yourself, trusting the process and waiting for what you deserve. Well written...wish it was longer!
January 5, 2015
It's time to love you & work on yourself you get what you demand not what you deserve.
I like it because it was short , simple yet deep & full of wisdom. Every woman should read this book
I like it because it was short , simple yet deep & full of wisdom. Every woman should read this book
April 28, 2014
GREAT :-)
May 4, 2014
may b single is a gift after all, we just hv 2 get benefit from it :)
August 9, 2014
Great read. I would definitely recommend this book for both single and non-single women. It gave great insight on what to look for and what to avoid while dating.
September 13, 2014
Very informative, fun to read, put single life in a whole new perspective. I am definitely on the right track. it's a must read for single people
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February 1, 2019Good read
As having been through countless dead end relationships this book gave me some insight to start looking into myself. That the way I was moving from one woman to the next was just too toxic for me and that a change was needed. As I may not agree with everything in this book there is a lot that made sense
As having been through countless dead end relationships this book gave me some insight to start looking into myself. That the way I was moving from one woman to the next was just too toxic for me and that a change was needed. As I may not agree with everything in this book there is a lot that made sense
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews