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When We Don't See Eye to Eye by J. David Pulsipher
We may find ourselves at the center of the turbulence or watching from the sidelines. But regardless of the consistency, intensity, or proximity of anger and aggression in our lives, most of us share a common handicap our greatest resource, the weapon of love, remains either sheathed or only timidly employed . . .Conflict and contention are among the more undesirable and unavoidable characteristics of human nature. While it is within our power to control our own actions and attitudes, how can we encourage those around us to break the cycle of anger and negativity? Learn to limit others negative power by wielding a weapon stronger than hate or greed or fear or malice the weapon of love. Author J. David Pulsipher encourages readers to take a Christ-centered approach to negativity with a comprehensive look at how conflict arises, how human nature distorts conflict, and how to use love as a force against anger.
- GenresReligionNonfiction
Mass Market Paperback
First published February 1, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
September 8, 2014
Timing is everything with books, and this one came into my life at just the right moment. My personal cycle of conflict usually occurs at times of stress (even good stress) when I'm tired, overwhelmed and focused inward. Lately, I've been critical, annoyed and easily offended, so this book inspired me. Its scope is encompassing: it is relevant to historical, ideological, religious, political and ethnic conflicts. But is also highly relevant to personal relationships, parenting methods and individual peace in the daily life of average people with garden-variety disagreements.
The author is (like me) a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and there are great references to scriptural heroes confronting conflict, and even violence, with assertive love. But you don't have to be a Mormon, or even a Christian, to benefit from the insights in this book. Other wonderful examples of the principles and practice of love are from my non-scriptural heroes: Martin Luther King and other civil rights leaders, Gandhi, George Washington, Corrie Ten Boom and Victor Frankl. I was especially grateful for the stories from the author's life, and those of other "regular" people, which helped me to relate and sense applications in my life.
This should be a great discussion at book group this week, and I'm excited to meet the author and thank him personally!
I was going to share a few favorite quotes that are representative of the book, but there are too many! Maybe I'll try to narrow them down as I re-read, which I hope to do soon!
The author is (like me) a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and there are great references to scriptural heroes confronting conflict, and even violence, with assertive love. But you don't have to be a Mormon, or even a Christian, to benefit from the insights in this book. Other wonderful examples of the principles and practice of love are from my non-scriptural heroes: Martin Luther King and other civil rights leaders, Gandhi, George Washington, Corrie Ten Boom and Victor Frankl. I was especially grateful for the stories from the author's life, and those of other "regular" people, which helped me to relate and sense applications in my life.
This should be a great discussion at book group this week, and I'm excited to meet the author and thank him personally!
I was going to share a few favorite quotes that are representative of the book, but there are too many! Maybe I'll try to narrow them down as I re-read, which I hope to do soon!
June 4, 2014
This book came to me exactly when I needed it. I purchased the ebook version on a whim because I am struggling with a personal relationship and based on the title I thought it might be helpful.
Maybe I'm the only one but whenever conflict in a movie or tv show is resolved because the protagonist uses "love" or whatever as their weapon I would kind of roll my eyes. What does that even mean? I couldn't help but picture some sort of Care Bear Stare-type beam hitting the antagonist and removing the threat. Most stories seemed to use the device but never really explained what it meant or how it worked. The best one came from Return of the Jedi. That was more obvious and in(my own) hindsight seemed to at least recognize what it meant. Perhaps it was my own fallen state that didn't see it for what it was before.
I loved this book because it talked about why love works, what it means to use it, and more importantly, how to use it. He shared stories from people who were able to diffuse very intense situations with love. I loved how he talked about it as a way to live a higher law. It's not easy to do, but he shows just how powerful it can be. These are invaluable principles to rely on when we disagree with others.
Maybe I'm the only one but whenever conflict in a movie or tv show is resolved because the protagonist uses "love" or whatever as their weapon I would kind of roll my eyes. What does that even mean? I couldn't help but picture some sort of Care Bear Stare-type beam hitting the antagonist and removing the threat. Most stories seemed to use the device but never really explained what it meant or how it worked. The best one came from Return of the Jedi. That was more obvious and in(my own) hindsight seemed to at least recognize what it meant. Perhaps it was my own fallen state that didn't see it for what it was before.
I loved this book because it talked about why love works, what it means to use it, and more importantly, how to use it. He shared stories from people who were able to diffuse very intense situations with love. I loved how he talked about it as a way to live a higher law. It's not easy to do, but he shows just how powerful it can be. These are invaluable principles to rely on when we disagree with others.
September 15, 2014
I admit, when I first started reading this book I had some difficulty following the thoughts and even the graphic representations. Then an interesting thing happened. I had the "wake-up" call to make the principles and concepts in the book relevant, especially regarding someone close to me who has been struggling with not seeing "eye to eye" with others.
The book came alive. Referenced with LDS scriptures, it was a fresh approach of how to break the cycles that bind us of anger and justification and assertiveness. The book took on even greater meaning when the author, a teacher at BYU-Idaho shared his insights and experiences at a book group.
Now the book is heavily marked and it will be one that I will reread. I especially appreciated the chapter dealing with justification and sanctification. The bibliography at the end of the book intrigues me and there are several books now that I will be reading. Gandhi has always impressed me and yet I have yet to read a book on his life or actions. David Pulsipher, the author of this book recommends Lewis Fisher's Gandhi: His Life and Message to the World. Happy future reading for me!
The book came alive. Referenced with LDS scriptures, it was a fresh approach of how to break the cycles that bind us of anger and justification and assertiveness. The book took on even greater meaning when the author, a teacher at BYU-Idaho shared his insights and experiences at a book group.
Now the book is heavily marked and it will be one that I will reread. I especially appreciated the chapter dealing with justification and sanctification. The bibliography at the end of the book intrigues me and there are several books now that I will be reading. Gandhi has always impressed me and yet I have yet to read a book on his life or actions. David Pulsipher, the author of this book recommends Lewis Fisher's Gandhi: His Life and Message to the World. Happy future reading for me!
May 21, 2018
Awesome book. Gives some amazing insights on how to find the line between retaliation and submission where love resides.
November 21, 2018
This book has some great suggestions on how to overcome contention and interrelationship problems. I wish I had found this years ago.
January 7, 2018
The answer is always love. Easier said then done and the author gives examples of amazing people and their ability to overcome conflicts using by love and compassion while at the same time not backing down from their beliefs. A good reminder for everyone.
February 11, 2022
I read this book for the 52 books in 52 weeks reading challenge. I used the 2022 mini challenge prompt for February read a book with a title that contains the same word twice. It certainly caused me to think differently about the scripture of turn the other cheek.
November 17, 2021
Easy to read, just wish there were more steps on how to implement the principles taught in a more concrete way.
April 15, 2022
Great insights in dealing with conflict. Well written and quick to read.
December 30, 2021
So good! Great and different perspective that I am still thinking about!
July 12, 2020
Great read to help handling disagreements.
March 10, 2017
One of the most practical, insightful and helpful books I have read in a long time. At times it was completely paradigm shifting for me. I have had a great frustration with my communities perception of Christ and his perceived passivity. Mr. Pulsiphers explanation of assertive love and the scriptural contexts provided have finally provided the means for me to now articulate long held thoughts and beliefs.
My friends and I have had many conversations as a result of this book and I look forward to many more.
I will be rereading it shortly. Thank you Mr Pulsipher.
My friends and I have had many conversations as a result of this book and I look forward to many more.
I will be rereading it shortly. Thank you Mr Pulsipher.
March 17, 2017
I had an opportunity through a Book Group I attend to hear from and talk to the author David Pulsipher. What a unique experience that was! I wish I could have that opportunity with other books I've enjoyed so much to discuss it's contents with the author. David has struck a cord with me and others who participated in the discussion. I love how he uses examples from history and religion to support his idea that, assertive love is a weapon we can use to create peace and change. I hope to hear more from him in the future!
November 13, 2014
It's hard to review a book when you live a few doors down from the author and think the world of his wife. So this may not be objective, but I did enjoy it (And I typically don't like church books). It was slow at the beginning and some parts I skimmed, but the middle and ending had so many good points I want to review and remember. There are many things to consider about dealing with people with whom I don't agree or particularly get along so well.
November 2, 2016
This book is closely related to Terry Warner's book, "Bonds That Make Us Free." I LOVE the first sentence; "The people of Ammon take my breath away." Without a doubt....
I love his ideas and principles on what it means to live in peace. Inspiring.
I love his ideas and principles on what it means to live in peace. Inspiring.
August 31, 2015
Really interesting book on resolving conflict. Written from an LDS perspective with lots of references to scripture and LDS teachings.
June 13, 2019
This was very helpful for me in dealing with some things with my family.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews