Textbook, you cost far too much money. I mean, really? I work in publishing, and I know how it's all a rip-off, but come on. That much? That's ridiculous. Sure you have pretty pictures of clavicles and great diagrams of the Action Potential that helped me understand, but I just know that money is not going to the artists or authors or lowly editorial assistants. So give them more money or make the book cheaper.
Textbook, you are too heavy. It hurt to have you in my bag with one other heavy thing or a multitude of light things. Please be less heavy? And I don't want to read you on an a iExpensiveReader thing. I like books, but I like it when they're not so heavy. I don't really know what you can do about that, but maybe you can pay for me to get a massage now, because my back hurts.
That said, textbook, you were good to me. You got me through A&P, and sometimes you even made me smile a little with your subtle wit. I'm going to keep you around, textbook, and maybe some day when we're old and gray we can laugh about how once upon a time you said there was no cure for cancer. At least I hope so.