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Transforming Negative Self-Talk: Practical, Effective Exercises
Hearing a judgmental or disapproving internal narrative is a very common mental health complaint, and not always a sign of schizophrenia or another serious diagnosis. Persistent inner chatter and rumination can lead to depression, anxiety, phobias, trauma, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, and more. In this unique collection of practical, take-charge strategies, the author reveals how self-critical voices can actually be altered and used to your own advantage.
Rather than changing the words themselves, Steve Andreas’s approach is to change how the words are spoken through specific, easy-to-implement techniques, such as changing the location of the voice; its distance from you; its tempo, tone, or volume; and much more. Unlike most therapies that advocate talking back or ignoring it, this guide offers exercises for viewing our self-talk as a useful and productive indicator of our emotions, and shows us how to take control of them in a more meaningful way.
Rather than changing the words themselves, Steve Andreas’s approach is to change how the words are spoken through specific, easy-to-implement techniques, such as changing the location of the voice; its distance from you; its tempo, tone, or volume; and much more. Unlike most therapies that advocate talking back or ignoring it, this guide offers exercises for viewing our self-talk as a useful and productive indicator of our emotions, and shows us how to take control of them in a more meaningful way.
128 pages, Paperback
First published July 30, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 13, 2013
**A positive step towards managing negative talk**
Ever notice what happens when you try to fight your negative thoughts head-on?
Chances are you find yourself in quite the power struggle where the negative thoughts get even louder and louder. In this book, Steve Andreas offers an alternative approach for turning down the internal negative chatter:
“The overall goal of this book is to teach you how to transform a troublesome voice into something much more useful and supportive, but not to eliminate it…First you will learn how to identify the inner voices that have been causing you trouble, and how to listen to them carefully. Then you will learn a variety of ways to rapidly change both the words, and how you say the words, to make your life work better. You will also learn to recognize what kinds of changes will actually improve your life, and what kinds of changes might appear to be useful but would actually cause you more trouble in the long run…They are elegant and graceful ways to change your experience that you can do consciously, despite the fact that they work in a way that is largely unconscious.” (pp. 23-24, 9, 56)
Each of the eleven chapters offers specific techniques for transforming negative self-talk:
1. Changing location
Imagine moving the critical voice to different locations in your body (stomach, kneecap, heart, etc.) and locations outside your body (2 feet in front of you, 30 feet in front of you, on your right side, above you, etc.); experiment with changing the volume of the voice as well.
2. Changing tempo and tonality
Experience the effects of adjusting the tempo of a thought: typically a faster tempo is associated with urgency and a slower tempo with relaxation; also notice how changes in tonality of the thought (i.e., pitch, melody, timbre, hesitations, accent, etc.) impact the effect the thought has on you.
3. Adding music or a song
Pair your thoughts with different types of instrumental music or songs to elicit different feeling states.
4. Talking to yourself positively
Create sentences that shift your attention from complaints and problems to what you can enjoy in the present moment; for example, ask yourself “What else can I enjoy right now?”
5. Adding a voice
Replace troublesome, critical voices with resourceful and supportive ones; to avoid creating conflict with the two voices, try linking together the apparent opposites: “Even though I have failed repeatedly, I can learn to succeed.”
6. Auditory perspective
Broaden your perspective by moving from “tunnel hearing” to the “big sound.”
7. Starting your day
Change the way you talk to yourself first thing in the morning by focusing on desired outcomes and adjusting self-talk.
8. Generalizations, evaluations, presuppositions, and deletions
Detect common negative patterns of thinking and replace them with more balanced and less troublesome thoughts.
9. Negative messages and positive outcomes
Shift your thinking by attending more to positive desired outcomes than to negative undesirable problems.
10. Asking questions
Create core questions that help you direct your skills, attitudes, and abilities in enabling and powerful ways; for example, when in a difficult situation, ask yourself “How can I make the most of this situation?” or “How could I make this better?” or “What’s most important?”
11. Transforming a message
Experiment with literally, phonetically (and playfully) transforming negative thoughts:
“I’m no good.” → “I am. Know good.”
“I am not worthy.” → “I am noteworthy.”
“It’s just so awful.” → “It is…Just so…Awe full.”
So, stop fighting and start transforming…and take a positive step towards managing negative talk.
Ever notice what happens when you try to fight your negative thoughts head-on?
Chances are you find yourself in quite the power struggle where the negative thoughts get even louder and louder. In this book, Steve Andreas offers an alternative approach for turning down the internal negative chatter:
“The overall goal of this book is to teach you how to transform a troublesome voice into something much more useful and supportive, but not to eliminate it…First you will learn how to identify the inner voices that have been causing you trouble, and how to listen to them carefully. Then you will learn a variety of ways to rapidly change both the words, and how you say the words, to make your life work better. You will also learn to recognize what kinds of changes will actually improve your life, and what kinds of changes might appear to be useful but would actually cause you more trouble in the long run…They are elegant and graceful ways to change your experience that you can do consciously, despite the fact that they work in a way that is largely unconscious.” (pp. 23-24, 9, 56)
Each of the eleven chapters offers specific techniques for transforming negative self-talk:
1. Changing location
Imagine moving the critical voice to different locations in your body (stomach, kneecap, heart, etc.) and locations outside your body (2 feet in front of you, 30 feet in front of you, on your right side, above you, etc.); experiment with changing the volume of the voice as well.
2. Changing tempo and tonality
Experience the effects of adjusting the tempo of a thought: typically a faster tempo is associated with urgency and a slower tempo with relaxation; also notice how changes in tonality of the thought (i.e., pitch, melody, timbre, hesitations, accent, etc.) impact the effect the thought has on you.
3. Adding music or a song
Pair your thoughts with different types of instrumental music or songs to elicit different feeling states.
4. Talking to yourself positively
Create sentences that shift your attention from complaints and problems to what you can enjoy in the present moment; for example, ask yourself “What else can I enjoy right now?”
5. Adding a voice
Replace troublesome, critical voices with resourceful and supportive ones; to avoid creating conflict with the two voices, try linking together the apparent opposites: “Even though I have failed repeatedly, I can learn to succeed.”
6. Auditory perspective
Broaden your perspective by moving from “tunnel hearing” to the “big sound.”
7. Starting your day
Change the way you talk to yourself first thing in the morning by focusing on desired outcomes and adjusting self-talk.
8. Generalizations, evaluations, presuppositions, and deletions
Detect common negative patterns of thinking and replace them with more balanced and less troublesome thoughts.
9. Negative messages and positive outcomes
Shift your thinking by attending more to positive desired outcomes than to negative undesirable problems.
10. Asking questions
Create core questions that help you direct your skills, attitudes, and abilities in enabling and powerful ways; for example, when in a difficult situation, ask yourself “How can I make the most of this situation?” or “How could I make this better?” or “What’s most important?”
11. Transforming a message
Experiment with literally, phonetically (and playfully) transforming negative thoughts:
“I’m no good.” → “I am. Know good.”
“I am not worthy.” → “I am noteworthy.”
“It’s just so awful.” → “It is…Just so…Awe full.”
So, stop fighting and start transforming…and take a positive step towards managing negative talk.
January 28, 2018
I stumbled upon this book at the public library and as happens often to me I found exactly what I didn't know I desperately needed. This is easily the most practical and effective "self help" book I have ever read. I have read quite a few and most will leave me with a more positive feeling overall but that quickly fades once I get back to real life. This book is very different, it offers problem scenarios that we all encounter in some way or another and guides you through the steps you must take to change the way you experience these things. I have started implementing some of these suggestions and it literally is life changing. I had no idea how much I was actually being affected by my everyday thoughts and now I have tools to better my mind, my experiences and my life. I'm very grateful this book crossed my path and recommend EVERYONE read it!
July 10, 2015
I used some of the techniques in this book in conjunction with other therapeutic methods and it was a life saver, no exaggeration.
August 12, 2016
Actually quite helpful with some good tips right from the get-go.
July 6, 2018
This is one of the most unique books of this type I've ever seen. It's a weird mix of "that sounds like new age hooey" and the type of very concrete, specific exercises you rarely find in even more authoritative works. The approach is different to anything I've read about meditation/your relationship with your thoughts.
I'm rating it highly because it gives me specific tips that are helpful, and doesn't double down on things that might be harmful (like positive affirmations, which have been suggested to me many times by professionals who insist they work, despite numerous studies showing they're harmful to depressed people). This book gave me new tools I hadn't heard of, and that's so helpful. But, at the same time, I know I'll never mention it to anyone, because it's sort of embarrassing... the techniques can sound a bit silly, and the justifications do drift into "that sounds like nonsense" territory.
For intractable, recurrent negative thoughts that are resistant to the usual suggestions, this offers a path which may be worth considering, but without any real evidence or explanation beyond a few case studies. It sounds a bit silly, but I can't deny I've successfully made use of its methods.
I'm rating it highly because it gives me specific tips that are helpful, and doesn't double down on things that might be harmful (like positive affirmations, which have been suggested to me many times by professionals who insist they work, despite numerous studies showing they're harmful to depressed people). This book gave me new tools I hadn't heard of, and that's so helpful. But, at the same time, I know I'll never mention it to anyone, because it's sort of embarrassing... the techniques can sound a bit silly, and the justifications do drift into "that sounds like nonsense" territory.
For intractable, recurrent negative thoughts that are resistant to the usual suggestions, this offers a path which may be worth considering, but without any real evidence or explanation beyond a few case studies. It sounds a bit silly, but I can't deny I've successfully made use of its methods.
October 31, 2020
The book is very helpful in learning how to manage that mean inner voice. One of the key points is that the inner voice can actually be beneficial once you get it under control. As for myself, I made a decision that led to the voice going away. The impact was incredible. I realize now that I actually needed that inner voice; however, I do sleep better now.
September 10, 2021
Loved it! Very practical and full of useful tools and practices to transform your inner talk!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews