Tales from Rhapsody Home: Or, What They Don't Tell You About Senior Living

by John Gould

Down East Yankee John Gould, age ninety-two, has spent most of the last century observing and writing about the human condition. Now he presents a whole new perspective on life as he leads us into the brave new world of the assisted-living facility. Charming, sarcastic, despairing, flip, taciturn, erudite, and altogether wonderful--with a razor sharp wit and a knack for turning a phrase--Mr. Gould is an American original and a perfect tour guide. Whether he's complaining to management about his apartment windows that don't open or socializing with the other "inmates" at happy hour; whether wondering why they put a napkin over the stone-cold bread at dinner or taking comfort in the memories ("making do with the reruns") of his loving and eccentric collection of old friends and colleagues from Maine, Mr. Gould proves that you can write a funny book about a serious subject, namely, how we treat our elderly.

176 pages, Hardcover

First published October 20, 2000

About the author

John Thomas Gould was an American humorist, essayist, and columnist who wrote a column for the Christian Science Monitor for over sixty years from a farm in Lisbon Falls, Maine. He was published in most major American newspapers and magazines and wrote thirty books. [wikipedia]

Reviews

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Droll, smart, funny.
Found him from Writer's Almanac show. As an unruly high schooler, Stephen King was assigned to work for him for punishment. "This editor was the man who taught me everything I know about writing in 10 minutes."

Notes:
23..putzfrau..charwoman razzle-dazzled our small house
26..cleaning woman ate so lavishly on chicken livers, while we and our guests dined on the economy plan (lowly sandwiches)
30..gripe meeting
37..growing tomatoes..don't stand up straight..lay em down..2 days later the stem will sprout roots the whole length
45..even if our windows were not dirty, as you have heard, we cannnot sit in our fine apartment and look off over brave horizons to perilous seas and faery lands forlorn.
48..Walpole fence..
50..how to answer a phone: "Not on your life! I'm not about to pay you 1 red cent! The kumquats were squishy, and we had to throw them away."
55..alternative amusement: listening to hearts palpitate ... first thing, learn how to find amusement in the dreadful
67..my favorite wife and I
73..only child-birth certificate-copulation sanctified
74..as you may have ascertained, the food here is not always up to the lower end of institutional standards
76..While I dawdled in my lonely gluttony over these cakes and dainties..
83... My indignation becomes most savage ...
97..how's everything in God's waiting room? 99... the duty of old people is to tell old tales. So here is one about ...
108.. You will have observed a familiarity among the residents that permits casual conversations about bodily functions.
134... crepitation contests ... left a brisk one fly as a testimonial to our general prowess
146..cream tartar bisquits 154 ... I ass-ented to have a colon exam.
160... "What you have to do is ..." Polite response: "What you need to do is defecate in your chapeau."
163..staff of life..bread making ... I moved in to Rhapsody Home to squander my assets in gracious if riotous living.
172... Dining Out ... All at once I realized I was real people again, not an institutionalized social security number relegated to residual indifference. Out for a toot.
179..Cicero "old age"..de senectute

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband and I listened to this, having experience with both my mother and my in laws. We get it! What great wit the author had! We laughed and laughed at some of his observations and stories. He reminded me of my father in law, who had a similar sense of humor and also knew the bean song/poem. A very fun read/listen to, except I don't things have changed a whole lot in the continuing care community world.

[Gregory Andis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny stuff.......makes dying in your own bed sound pretty good!!!

[Anne Shea-Lewis · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some good tips regarding questions to ask before I sign myself in to assisted living

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed rereading this hilarious work.

notes..
--the cook quit because he couldn't stand the food.
--this happy haven for hapless has-beens, this paradise for previously important people
11..who had more fun, men or women? .. as father Jupiter & bouncy Juno enjoyed the intimate colloquies of connubial cooperation, they frequently asked each other who had more fun, he the pusher or she the pushee?
37..Valiant, the perfect tomato...lay em down flat, not upright
54..Walton's the Compleat Angler...Long before I knew about contemplation, i knew that a walk along a brook and the concomitant meditation would be balm to any life-size disturbance.
74..as you may have ascertained by now, the food here at Rhapsody Home is not always up to the lower end of institutional standards.
76..while i dawdled in my lonely gluttony over these cakes and dainties...
97..How's everything in God's Waiting Room?
160..what you have to do is...No, what YOU have to do is defecate in your chapeau.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate the humor of John Gould. And this book is funny. However, I think I am too close to this situation to not be a little uneasy about some of the frustrations he encounters as he enters a Senior Living facility as a nonegenarian. With his usual good humor he pens little jingles which he posts to the bulletin board -- and which promptly disappear.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fast read filled with chuckles. Not that I really have axperience in this field yet - gimme another decade or two. Older readers might find it even more entertaining because it will hit closer to home. But fun for anyone.

[Cara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gives an amusing description of living in a not-so-great retirement home. It's also an offers pertinent comments on how our society views its elders.

[Don · Rating 4 out of 5]

perhaps many stories we may repeat with some repetition and similarity as we age...

[Janebcolby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing and on the mark. We may be living at the same place John Gould did. But bet they all are similar.