Worthy: The Memoir of an Ex-Mormon Lesbian

by Chris Davis

At age thirty-two, Chris Davis had everything she was told that she wanted: a husband, two children, and a townhouse in the suburbs. The plan had been laid out for her and compliance was expected. A devout Mormon with a stellar reputation in her community, Davis spent a lifetime listening to rhetoric from church leaders that queer people were sinners and needed to repent of their wickedness. She had sworn faithfulness and obedience to God and the church but was faced with an impossible equation. How could she earn blessings from God and eternal life in heaven when she knew she was gay? She decided the only way out was a 17-year plan to raise her children and then take her own life.
In The Memoir of an Ex-Mormon Lesbian, Davis tells her story of growing up in a Mormon household in Maine. Her nostalgic and sometimes humorous childhood memories of family and friends provide life lessons that influence her during the traumatic experiences she has as a woman and as a closeted queer person in the church. It isn't until one of her children comes out that Davis is forced to choose between religion and family. She chooses love.
Davis shares her brave journey from the depths of despair to hope and possibility. She shines a light on the tragedy of exclusion in our churches, in families, and in society, which takes such a toll on youth who struggle with their identities. Her inspiring account shows that it takes courage and fortitude to change one's beliefs and live an authentic life, but the rewards are immense.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT

216 pages, Paperback

First published April 21, 2023

Reviews

[Sherry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chris Davis’s memoir shows and vivid and honest detail Theo tightrope she walked as a child, trying to stay unseen and unobtrusive in her life growing up in the Mormon church in conflict with her own self identity from the age of seven knowing that she preferred girls to boys. The description of the religious abuse to which she was subjected by the members of the church and in particular by the Powers that be in the Mormon church dictated that the males were the only one with privileges and females need only aspire to be good wives and mothers and no more. Yes, they were allowed to be missionaries, yes, they were allowed to turn over their money. Yes, they were allowed to devote their entire lives to being subservient to men, but Chris found this totally abhorrant, but buried her own feelings so that she could raise her own children in love and caring, so unlike her own childhood. Then she contemplated her own death after 20 years of marriage and being stay at home wife caring for the children. The Mormon church failed her in every possible way with their male centric misogyny. Thank goodness, she had several martial arts instructors that started her on path of achievement and self-worth. Being a client for her friend practicing to become a life counselor gave her a positive possibilities of what her own future might look like if she did what she really wanted and needed to be herself. Finding the Native American healer who helped to understand her own brother’s pain and need for forgiveness allowed her to forgive him and herself. She found in Portland Maine a gay community that was welcoming and supportive, and provided her with a positive future and indeed good relations with both of her grown children. she always talked about her husband as a good man and that she was sorry that divorce would cause him pain, but it was a necessary step for her to gain her own freedom.

This memoir is different from others that I have read and certainly gives me a better understandingof the difficulties of women in the Mormon church. Their belief that non-heterosexual individuals were doomed forever, certainly does not offer a place to individuals who do not fit into their mold.

[Regina Verow · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, Chris Davis takes us through her life and her quest to become her authentic self. Examining her childhood and her life as a member of the Morman Church, Davis takes us on an extraordinary journey of great highs and great lows. On the outside, Davis appeared remarkably happy but inside, she struggled with abuse, ideas of self-harm, and the understanding that she was not what her church and societal norms expected her to be.

Even with all of the suffering Davis endured, this book is a book of hope and joy. Davis shows us that we are all worthy of being our authentic selves and that we deserve to seek out joy no matter where it takes us.

It's a lovely book to remind us all that ultimately, we have to do the work to show the world who we are and that we are all worthy of love.

[Jasper Aspen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is one that will save lives. The author is very obviously a skilled and poignant writer with a deep commitment to her personal truth. Each chapter is structurally pleasing as the author weaves the past to the present and unites her old, captive self with her new, free and worthy self. It is my hope that those who need to hear this story to change their own personal narratives will find this book readily available. Chris Davis's words are part of the growing collective that is waking up to find divinity within themselves rather than in the walls and confines of church buildings and through misogynist middle men hell-bent on robbing women of their innate power. She is brave, she is truthful, and she is worthy.

[Dustin Spencer-L'Heureux · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. First, Chris writes with a honesty but remains respectful of those who are still part of the LDS church/Mormon faith. That is not always easy to do but somehow, she does it.

There is vulnerability in this memoir, hearing of the suicide plan and how pivotal that one question was that helped her plan a different future.

The book itself was edited very well. We did jump from childhood to adulthood throughout but the reader was always aware of where in the timeline we were.

[Loren Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gut wrenchingly good read!!!
Chris Davis is a fantastic storyteller. Her memoir will have you laughing, crying, fighting for her and with her. You will ask yourself are there really people in the world that could crush souls and you’ll be sad to know there are. It’s a story of pain and resilience and will knock your socks off in ways you can’t even imagine. You will leave this book wanting to fight for every person stuck in this type of tragic pain and you will want to celebrate with those who overcame. Kudos Chris Davis! You are a Badass!

[Brianna Neider · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t rate it a 3 based on Chris’ experience but mostly the way it was written. Not my style. Things jump around out of chronological order and that was harder for me to follow at times. The stories seemed a little disjointed at times and seemed to drag on a little for me. BUT those are just personal preferences.

Chris’ story shares a perspective that I’ve never experienced and therefore haven’t given much thought regarding the struggles of those in similar circumstances. It was eye opening for me to read from this vantage point. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Davis tells a courageous, maddening, and heartfelt story of her experience with the Mormon church and the true test of strength and authenticity it required to completely change her life. We don't have to be Mormon to benefit from the truths and wisdom she accumulated from dealing with this insidious patriarchal culture. Her writing makes you want to break free from your own cages and live the life that was destined for you!

[Hannah]

As a queer ex-mo myself, this is very relatable content. I am so happy for Chris and am feeling uplifted by her words of encouragement. I am still figuring out how to not live life ruled by fear and a feeling of being stuck. It's so hard to de-program from all the bullshit, to take up all the space my authentic self requires. I don't really know that feeling of wholeness that Chris describes feeling after her shamanic healing session. I aspire to someday feel that way.

[M. R. S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris is a talented writer who has a knack for simultaneously sharing her story and engaging the reader with her rawness, descriptive experiences from childhood and her skilled and stylized storytelling. My heart hurts for her and the pain she has experienced. Thank you for bringing more awareness to this space.

[Michelle E. Shores · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book of overcoming childhood trauma and an adult life of religious oppression to find one’s true self and joy!! Highly recommended for those that are still active in the LDS Church as well as those who have left. Chris does a great job of explaining why Mormon doctrine no longer worked for her without delving into a negative discourse of anti Mormon rhetoric. Well done!!

[Jo-jean Keller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found myself very angry while reading Worthy. I had to take a break a number of times to remind myself that Chris had overcome the obstacles she faced and become the best Chris she could possibly be. She is Worthy in a way her former church leadership could never understand.

['Rah's Many Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this memoir, Chris expertly and poignantly draws on anecdotes from her childhood to explain an aspect of the church and the trauma it gave her.

Her story is inspiring and this book joins her voice to the increasing number of those writing about leaving high control religions.

[Holli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this in one sitting. Heartbreaking! Heart filling! Heartening! All the hearts. Absolutely outstanding, particularly for anyone deconstructing religion… and, particularly if that religion is Mormonism.

[Julie Wilkes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris’ story is touching and beautiful. I ate up every word and my only complaint is that the book is not long enough.

[Tanya · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish…..spelling error chapter 1.

[Sonya S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed Chris's storytelling and vulnerable honesty.

[Leasha Caverly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I flew through it. I have so much respect for the author.

[Sylvia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Briefly heard Chris talk at a book event in Bangor, so wanted to check out this book. I'm happy that Chris now gets to live her best, most authentic life, even though it wasn't easy getting there.

[Teresa Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am blown away by the sheer power and beauty of this book. The depth with which I experienced it, made possible by the masterful way Chris wrote it, was so powerful as to almost evade explanation, making it hard to put into words the way this book made me feel. But I’ll certainly do my best.

Chris is an incredibly gifted writer and storyteller. She beautifully weaves happy memories with painful ones to paint a picture of her reality that is tender and heartbreaking and just so real. The story unfolds in such a natural, compelling way that it’s engaging, full of wit, and utterly un-putdownable. Her voice unabashedly shines through so authentically all throughout. And, despite the pain of her past, she fills the narrative with hope in a bright future. Chris is a fighter—a beautiful, kind, soul—and I feel so privileged to have been allowed this glimpse into her life.

The depth with which the reader is invited to experience her story is just powerful. I laughed and I cried and I want to do better for future generations of LGBTQIA+ people. The rhetoric that shaped Chris’s childhood is maddening, and highlights the problems in the system. It is only by listening to stories like Chris’s that we can make the future a better, safer, more validating and inclusive space. Thank you, Chris, for sharing your story in such an honest and beautiful way!

[Mary Baumer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love memoirs. This is beautifully written. Each chapter tells a story. The nice thing about this book is you can just read a chapter at a time. I could not do that though. I just could not put it down.

It is Davis courageous story. Growing up with her brother and her family. Her experience with life in the Mormon church and the eventual path she took to the life she is now living.

It is a 5***** book. If you like memoirs. If you like reading and falling inside someone's life. It was interesting to learn more about the Mormon church. If you like reading a VERY well written book this is the book for you.

[Alex Mullins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Born IFAB in 1977, under the covenant of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in the San Francisco, Bay Area, California, I was a closeted queer kid until I turned 18 and left home. There is so much about Chris’s life experience with which I can personally connect. SHE LITERALLY LIVED THE LIFE I RAN FROM. Reading and relating to Chris’ book brings me full circle as an adult edging ever nearer my 50th birthday. Chris reminds me that it’s the content of my character, heart, and soul, and not my “perceived actions“ that define who I am. I highly recommend this book for anyone who loves someone that has felt the need to “live in a closet.”

[Chris Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a little biased about this read! I am so proud of this book! Lots of blood, sweat, and tears went into the making of it. There are difficult passages, for sure, but the overall vibe is positive and hopeful. Happy reading! And please share your thoughts about the memoir here!