Reading the Room: Group Dynamics for Coaches and Leaders

by David Kantor

In Reading the Room , renowned systems psychologist and family therapist David Kantor applies his theory of structural dynamics to help leaders and coaches understand and improve communication within their teams. He helps readers understand how and why they and their teams communicate differently when faced with low-stakes or high-stakes situations, and he provides a framework to help improve leadership behavior in high-stakes situations. Acknowledging that early personal history and adult relationships have an impact on individual leadership and communication, the author discusses how leaders’ awareness of their personal histories can help them become more effective in their leadership teams. Armed with the information outlined in this groundbreaking book, coaches and leaders will be able intervene effectively to produce positive change in both the group’s dynamics and its outcomes, help people in the room alter their behavior to better reach their aspirations, identify the recurring sequences of behavior taking place in a group, understand why differing individual preferences for boundaries and rules affect their conversation, and much more. Written to help readers understand the reasons why leaders and teams get along―or don’t―when they communicate in a group, this book will serve as the leader’s “go-to” resource for insight and perspective in leading their team.

Genres: Leadership, Business, Nonfiction, Professional Development, Psychology, Management

448 pages, Hardcover

First published April 12, 2012

Reviews

[Jaime · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like anyone who lives in the world should read this, but I am high on a behavioral theory reading kick. What I can say for certain is that even just the first few chapters have a clear utility -- the behavioral model breaking conversations and conversational stances down is fascinating and I think important for understanding how and why people talk past one another.

Kantor essentially asks leaders to know who they are, be able to articulate it, and work at developing appropriate models to guide one's behavior. But he also shows you how to actually do these things, unlike other books that discuss them as principles but have trouble breaking out the achievement steps.

He constantly reminds the reader that is isn't enough to be good at your job, that your personal life must also be balanced. I like this because it shows an understanding of permeability that I think is underestimated; that yoga rule of "how you approach one thing is how you approach everything."

He ends the text with an analysis of Barack Obama which is interesting reading.

Overall, I think it is a useful book in the best way.

And for friends who may read it at some point, although I haven't formally taken the behavioral propensity profile, I think I lean towards bystander in action, open in systems, affect in communication domain, and my hero mode is protector. (Or, watch out for Momma Bear -- she can get crazy if she sees systems that are failing in obvious or not obvious ways and hurting people. Kantor's insights, though, actually helped me figure that out and I hope will help me figure out how to balance the inclinations.)

[Cian Aherne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Took me a long time to give up on this book but in the end it just didn’t hit … trying to boil people down into predictable patterns of behaviour … just not real

[Robert Bogue]

Have you ever had that bewildering moment when you’re in a conversation and you suddenly realize that you have no idea what the conversation is about? You’re going along, disagreeing but still conversing, until you reach the moment when you’re aware that you’re not talking about the same thing as the other person, and you wonder exactly how you got here. Reading the Room: Group Dynamics for Coaches and Leaders is designed to help you better understand the dynamics that are in play in a room and be able to observe and react to them better.

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[Rita Arens · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not a normal book. It's a textbook. I studied it like college.

[David Maywald · Rating 2 out of 5]

While covering important material and bringing some fascinating perspectives to the table, I found this book to be poorly written and challenging to enjoy…

Kantor writes on the practical implementation of the four levels of “structural dynamics”, with a focus on applications/interpretation of corporate decision making and executive management.

“Structural dynamics theory began in the 1970s in the course of my studying face-to-face communication in families. In the 1990s, it extended to the study of couples in therapy. Between 2000 and 2008, I began to expand the theory and to apply it to corporations and their teams. Going forward, structural dynamics will focus primarily on teams, team behavior in low and high stakes, and the ability to measure change using computerized instruments with the capacity to code and capture structural dynamics’ basic unit of measurement, the speech act. Over time, the speech act became the theory’s basic unit for coding and measuring what happens in human vocal discourse in social networks like families, couples, and teams.”

Reading the Room is a thought-provoking exploration of group dynamics and communication patterns, particularly in leadership and organisational settings. Kantor describes his "Four Player Model" to explain how individuals take on specific roles during conversation: Mover, Follower, Opposer, and Bystander.

While the book provides deep insights into interpersonal interactions and systems thinking, its dense theoretical approach and complex terminology will be challenging for many readers who are unfamiliar with psychological frameworks. Additionally, the practical applications are much less actionable, when compared to more straightforward leadership books.

I wasn’t a fan of this book, but for those willing to engage with its depth, Reading the Room may offer valuable perspectives on improving team communication and organisational effectiveness. Take it on if you dare!

[Stephen · Rating 5 out of 5]

READ OCT 2020

Kantor’s contribution to what he describes as “communicative competency” is a much needed competency in modern organizations.

Structural dynamics, taken together with emotional intelligence and #HumanFluency provides leaders with a complete toolkit to managing the collaborative environment they find themselves.

[Brenda Vandenberghe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book with deep insights around team dynamics and leadership starting from self refection and knowing yourself and other better.
It shares the story of a company which helps understanding the concepts better as it is quite conceptual.