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The Vanity Game

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For professional soccer ace Beaumont Alexander, life couldn't be better. He's rich and famous and living a life of A-class luxury in his Essex mansion, The Love Palace, with his beautiful pop-star girlfriend, Krystal McQueen. Idolised and envied all over the planet, he's an international megabrand; seemingly invincible and every bit as vain as you might expect from a man who has the world at his fingertips as well as his feet.

But a celebrity party kickstarts a chain of events that turns his dream lifestyle into a waking nightmare. It begins with too many drugs and an attractive waitress, and leads to an argument with Krystal that doesn't end well. Then a shady cartel steps in and changes his life forever.

Beaumont Alexander is about to discover that substitution is a fate worse than death.

300 pages, Paperback

First published June 11, 2012

2 people are currently reading
167 people want to read

About the author

H.J. Hampson

1 book20 followers
HJ Hampson is a novelist and screenwriter from Runcorn, a bleak industrial town in northern England.

She is interested in such themes as celebrity, vanity, death and what makes people commit acts of violence. All these themes are explored in her novel, The Vanity Game, published as an e-book by Blasted Heath

She currently lives in London, likes rock music and baking and supports Liverpool FC.

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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
Profile Image for Keith Nixon.
Author 36 books175 followers
January 5, 2013
Beaumont Alexander, superstar mega-rich footballer, has the life some people will kill for. He seems to have everything – fast cars, a mansion, beautiful pop star girlfriend, Krystal McQueen, the adulation of his football team’s fans and parties with a multitude of famous friends. He can have what he wants, when he wants.

But Beaumont is a man on the edge and, after a sordid encounter with a hostess at a celebrity party, his life spins out of control and he turns to his manager, Serge, to help him. Enter a shady crime mob, The Substitutors, and Beaumont is going to have to fight to keep the life he so easily achieved.

This is an impressive debut novel. It is fast-paced, topical and darkly witty. Beaumont lives in a money-no-object world many would aspire to but probably wouldn’t want once they had it. The Vanity Game cleverly shows both sides of the fame game where egos are large and life is ultimately the cheapest thing on offer.

Beaumont himself was initially vain, selfish, and seedy, very much like many of the football (or soccer depending which side of the pond you live on) stars of today. He has a couple of unhealthy quirks, a fear of germs and an obsession with George Michael. However, during the story Beaumont’s character develops into someone much more palatable – although I still wouldn’t like him as a friend, he never quite shakes the football mud off his boots.

In fact very few of the characters are likeable (which was the point). Celebrity, either gained or wished for, seems to have skewed them all. The wannabes are just as bad, they’ll do anything to be with Beaumont and his friends. The character’s names read like something out of the celebrity magazines that Beaumont regularly appears in.

The action is constant, except for a brief pause in the middle when Beaumont thinks he’s got away with his crime. There are many unexpected twists and turns that keep you guessing right through to the end.

H.J. Hampson poses some interesting questions about the society of today’s obsession with celebrity via The Substitutors mob. Without spoiling the read, Hampson brings about a physical change in Krystal which at first I questioned. Then, however it made me think – how much do we truly know about celebrities? Only what we read in the papers or see on the TV and how much of that is real?

Well worth a read and highly recommended.

**originally reviewed for Books and Pals. May have received free copy.**
Profile Image for Josh.
1,732 reviews178 followers
June 1, 2012
‘The Vanity Game’ combines the easy murder of Jason Starr with the black humour of Douglas Lindsay. Fusing the glitz and glamour of high fame A-List celebrity with the gore and grime of the violent underworld, Hampson’s debut novel spotlights the darker side of the entertainment industry. For soccer star Beaumont Alexander, life as he knows it is about to spiral out of control following a brutish encounter at a celebrity party. That one incident leads to a chain of events which ultimately sees Beaumont loose his grip on reality and perception of truth.

In this pulse pounding thought provoking look at fame and its perils, Hampson creates a world where false reality is an all too believable concept. The Substitutors read like the brain child of Duane Swierczynski in their sleek and evocative chameleon-like nature and would be right at home within works such as ‘Expiration Date’ and ‘Fun & Games’. Each rendition and interaction dilutes the illusion as Beaumont comes to terms with his predicament while seeking solace through the comfort of sharp objects and blunt force trauma to rid his too real demons.

The evolution of the lead character cannot be underestimated; Hampson draws inspiration from a well known real-world mold then constructs a profile loaded with a God complex, insular outlook, and destructive nature. Beaumont goes from being abusive, rude, and obnoxious, to accidental murderer, then victim until the metamorphous is complete rendering him a far different being to the one who first appeared at that fateful celebrity party.

The ever changing girlfriend, Krystal McQueen is a joy to read and comes across as an Alice in Wonderland thrown into a life vastly different from her upbringings. Hampson did a great job at reflecting the correlation between the popular story and her female lead (the decorative pieces within the Love Palace were a nice touch). Like Beaumont, the reader’s reactions and feeling towards her will vary as the story progresses.

‘The Vanity Game’ is a damn fine read through and through. I sure hope we see more from HJ Hampson in the near future – she is one talent not to be missed! 5 stars.
Profile Image for K.A. Laity.
Author 75 books114 followers
July 3, 2012
H. J. Hampson’s The Vanity Game from Blasted Heath offers a slice of sleb culture with a lot of grit and blood. I hated Beaumont from the start: he’s everything I hate about the fame game. It’s an uphill battle getting your reader to follow the adventures of a character who is so often absolutely loathsome; it’s a battle Hampson wins. I despised the spoiled, pampered footballer but I was hooked into the story right away. Where is this going to go? That’s the question that keeps you reading. And I did! I almost — almost — developed sympathy for him as events unfolded. More importantly, I had to know how things would turn out. It’s a terrific examination of the seductiveness of fame, the manipulations it involves and the cocoon it develops around those who get raised so high — and how vulnerable that plush prison leaves them. But make no mistake: this isn’t a dissertation. It’s a cracking good read that will surprise you with all the twists and turns. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be famous and can’t understand the current mania for it. After you read this book, you will have second thoughts about the allure of the spotlight.
33 reviews6 followers
June 10, 2012
This debut novel is a dark entertaining tale about Beaumont Alexander, a celebrity Premier league footballer. His girlfriend is the beautiful pop star Krystal McQueen and they live in ‘The Love Palace’ in Essex.

It very quickly becomes clear that something very weird is going on in Beaumont’s life and he ends up feeling like the loneliest person in the whole world as he becomes entangled with a major crime ring.

Hampson has spun an enticing tale with a neat twist in its tail.

The combination of first class writing, a talent for narrative and the ability to build excellent characterisation provided a riveting story.

I hope there are more tales from this author in the pipeline but can wholeheartedly recommend this book as an excellent read.
307 reviews8 followers
Want to read
June 12, 2012
After reading the description of The Vanity Game, my curiousity was piqued so I entered the first-reads giveaway and to my delight I was a winner! Looking forward to reading this book.
Profile Image for Alison Lang.
Author 7 books12 followers
July 16, 2012
If fickle celebrity culture turns your stomach, think how it must affect the celebs themselves. ‘The Vanity Game’ lets us into the monstrous one-track mind of Beaumont Alexander, footballer, model, coke-addict and aspiring global brand. Oh yes, and he’s a rapist and murderer too. He may think he’s above the law, but there are sinister forces at work, and they’re out to get him. Think Joseph K in designer jeans and a luxury Land Rover. I laughed, I didn’t cry, I hated Beaumont from page 1, but I kept on clicking the e-pages. H.J. Hampson has given us an utterly unsympathetic protagonist about whose twisted thoughts I was nevertheless unable to stop reading.
Profile Image for Michael Brookes.
Author 15 books211 followers
August 24, 2012
I wass lucky enough to win a signed copy of this and while it isn't my usual type of book I gave it a read. It isn't as obviously funny as the blurb would have you think, but the story itself is good and the concept behind it is interesting. Recommended.
43 reviews
January 1, 2013
I love a good unreliable narrator, especially when he comes with an interesting plot!
Profile Image for Chris Curran.
Author 16 books57 followers
February 8, 2013
What a fascinating read! Crime noir, black comedy, dark satire: I wouldn't know how to label this clever and enthralling novel. Top footballer Beaumont Alexander’s world is a gaudy, glittering mirage seen through a haze of booze, dope and sex. The only other writer I can think of who has created a protagonist that I found so despicable and yet so engaging is Patricia Highsmith, with Tom Ripley and if you don't find yourself rooting, oh-so reluctantly, for Beaumont by the end I suspect you’re fooling yourself. HJ Hampson has written a fascinating mystery with enough twists to satisfy any lover of crime novels, yet this book is so much more: a critique of celebrity culture, a comment on the corrupting effect of too much money, an exploration of identity. Wonderful!
Profile Image for For Books' Sake.
210 reviews283 followers
September 25, 2012
"The Vanity Game is the début novel from screenwriter H. J. Hampson.

It tells the story of Premiership footballer Beaumont Alexander, and his celebrity girlfriend, Krystal McQueen – who have risen above the ranks of his teammates to reach the stratospheres of fame otherwise attained only by the likes of Bennifer, TomKat and of course, Posh and Becks.

I began The Vanity Game expecting a deliciously vitriolic satire on celebrity culture – and in this respect I was soon disappointed." (Excerpt from full review at For Books' Sake).

Profile Image for Brandon Nagel.
371 reviews19 followers
February 26, 2013
Excellent. This is one of those books that you think is going in one direction and then about half way through does a complete U-TURN and surprises the hell out of you. Highly recommended and I can't wait for more from this talented author!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews

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