By Jean M. Twenge Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled--and More Miserab

by Jean M. Twenge

Yazdıklarıyla hep manşet olan psikolog ve toplum yorumcu Dr. Jean M. Twenge, 1970, 1980 ve 1990'larda doğan "Ben Nesli" mensubu gençlerin hoşgörülü, özgüvenli, açık fikirli ve hırslı fakat bir o kadar da sinik, depresif, yalnız ve kaygılı olduğunu, kışkırtıcı bir kitapla ortaya koyuyor.

Kendisi de bir Ben Nesli mensubu olan Dr. Twenge, bugüne kadar yapılmış en geniş çaplı nesiller arası araştırmada, 60 yıllık bir süreç içinde yaşamış 1.3 milyon kişiyi mercek altına yatırarak bugünün gençlerinin ayırıcı özelliklerini tespit etti. Bulduğu şok edici gerçekler arasında, cinsel davranışlarda dramatik farklılıklar ile gelecek günlerin bu nesil için nasıl olacağına dair tartışmalı öngörüler de var. Twenge'nin gerçek kişiler hakkında anlattığı esprili olduğu kadar şaşırtıcı hikayeler Ben Nesli'nin hayallerini, hayal kırıklıklarını ve mücadele etmesi gereken zorlukları ortaya koyuyor.

"Ben Nesli", gençliğin genel karakterini büyük ölçüde değiştirerek günümüz toplumunda birey olma kavramına bambaşka bir bakış açısı getirdi. Bir yanda bu neslin iddialı ben-merkezciliği, diğer yanda ise rekabet içindeki dünya pazarları, yüzyılımızın başlıca meselelerinden birini oluşturmaktadır. Tartışmalı, eğlenceli ve çözüm önerici kitap, bir önceki nesle çocukları hakkında fikir vermekle kalmayıp 10'lu, 20'li ve 30'lu yaşlardakilerin kendilerini daha iyi anlamalarına da yardımcı oluyor. İşte kitaptan bir alıntı:

Günümüzde çok az insan "mükemmel" hayat" amacına ulaşabiliyor. İnsanların çoğu, endişeli ve depresif. Martin Seligman, "Sanki bir salak çıkmış da normal insan olmanın çıtasını yükseltmiş gibi" diye yazıyor. Ben Nesli'nin yükselen beklentilerinin kökeni, kendine odaklanmaya dayanıyor. Yaşamımız boyunca kulağımıza çok özel olduğumuz fısıldandı, zengin ve ünlü olmayı hak ediyoruz. Ayrıca iş ve aşk gibi hayatın her alanında tatmin olmayı bekliyoruz. Oysa herkes görkemli evlerde yaşamıyor, çoğu kişinin işi, ekonomik zorluklar yüzünden heyecan verici değil. Mükemmel bir adamla evlenebilirsiniz ama o, her zaman sizin ruh ikiziniz olmayacaktır. Bireysel arzularımıza fazlasıyla odaklanıyor fakat içimizde büyük bir boşluk hissediyoruz ve bu durum genelde depresyonla sonuçlanıyor.

Ancak tatminsizliğimizi sadece bireyciliği suçlayarak açıklayamayız.

Depresyon sadece hayattan çok şey beklediğimiz için değil, aynı zamanda yaşam şartları zor ve hayat çok pahalı olduğu için gerçekleşiyor. Bir şeyin en azına bile ulaşmanın çok zor olduğu bu devirde, Ben Nesli, hep daha fazlasını istiyor. Filmler, ihtişamlı meslekleri olan kişilerle dolu, ancak iyi bir üniversiteye girmek günden güne zorlaşıyor. Küçücük evler bile insanların alım gücünü zorlarken, diziler köşklerde çekiliyor. Sanki biri bizimle dalga geçiyor. Zengin olacağımızı umarak yetiştiriliyoruz ama cebimizdeki para, kötü bir apartman dairesinin kirasını ödemeye bile yetmiyor.
(Tanıtım Bülteninden)

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Sociology, Parenting, Cultural, History, Social Issues

Hardcover

First published April 4, 2006

About the author

Dr. Twenge frequently gives talks and seminars on teaching and working with today’s young generation based on a dataset of 11 million young people. Her audiences have included college faculty and staff, high school teachers, military personnel, camp directors, and corporate executives. Her research has been covered in Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, USA Today, U.S. News and World Report, and The Washington Post, and she has been featured on Today, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Fox and Friends, NBC Nightly News, Dateline NBC, and National Public Radio.

She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.

Reviews

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was all over the place. Twenge makes a few good points, but mostly it seems like about halfway through she forgot what her point was. While she starts out arguing that our generation (which spans birth years from about 1970 to...the present, it seems) is selfish and needs to get over itself, somehow by the end she is arguing for mandatory government funded preschool for 3 year olds. And ranting about how at least we're more tolerant of gays. And frantically throwing out as many pop culture references as she can pack into a paragraph, including block quotes from "Batman Begins." I don't know what to say to this. Deadlines are killer, I guess?

In general while some of her number-crunching is indeed impressive, Twenge relies too much on pop culture crap to tell her what "our generation" thinks and how we behave. While there is indeed some correlation between what we watch on TV and who we are as people, it seems ridiculous to turn to Law and Order spinoffs, The OC, and sensationalist CBS reports on teen sex as primary sources. There's a streak of intellectual laziness in this book such that I nearly expected her to start citing Wikipedia articles.

There's also an overbearing tone of snarky dismissiveness that makes Twenge's prose hard to handle even when I agree with her. Gratuitous cliched parenthetical asides like "yes Virginia, such places to exist" in referring to France's system of social safety nets are distracting, off-point, and fail to add anything to the entertainment value of the book. It simply alienates the reader by letting us know just how poorly the author thinks of us.

The entire chapters on sex and tolerance both seemed off-point and like they belonged in another book. Either one could have been tied in to the overarching theme of selfishness, individualism, and "self-esteem" without too much effort, but Twenge did not put in this rudimentary amount of effort, so the chapters just sit there, filled with shocking and stunning pop culture references and some statistics, waiting for someone to interpret them.

(I suppose she, too, expects we'll give her a trophy for trying?)

And ironically, it's hard to ignore just how often Twenge calls attention to herself, in all her individual specialness, in the pages of this book where she attempts to skewer our generational narcissism. Right off the bat, in all the bragging about her scholarly research as an undergrad and grad student, there's supposedly humorous comments about how the librarians must have seen the piles of books she left in the stacks and wondered what she was doing. Yes, your extra special and unusual habit of leaving books and journals on desks in an academic library must surely have drawn their undivided and fascinated attention!

Twenge also makes the Baby Boomers out to be selfless, altruistic, spiritual people in contrast to the shallow narcissism and selfish worrying of Gen "Me." This makes no sense. Children are raised by parents. The psychodynamic theorist in me is tempted to probe into why Twenge engages in this kind of "splitting" but honestly, I'm not that interested. "Whatever."

[Sara · Rating 1 out of 5]

Conservative rant in the guise of research.

How did this book irritate me? Let me count the ways. I read it after it was highly recommended by friends who share more or less my birth year and are members of what the author has termed "Generation Me." The book is touted as a culmination of years of research into generational attitudes, but is in fact a series of rants, logical fallacy, sarcasm, and snark. I found myself furious from page to page - and ended up marking pages to let the book speak for itself. I was going to just let this go, but it made me so angry I had to write and warn others. Research is hardly apparent - occasionally she cites a study comparing attitudes, but rather than correlations with any outcomes, uses them as a springboard for her own views.

First - let me note that I am the product of the liberal Boomers parenting and plan to continue the same way. That said, I also have a higher education and am gainfully employed.

Twenge opens with a lament that reads like a list of her pet peeves: the loss of uniformity of dress, that men used to wear suits at ball games, that now comfort is king and women don't wear girdles and uniform hemlines, wedding invitations that don't all look alike. She also lambastes the self-esteem movement, in my opinion rightfully so, but also seems to hate the message that each human being is one-of-a-kind, equal, and worthy of love. I'll use her text in italics and add my commentary.

Popular media has also promoted this idea endlessly, offering up self-esteem as the cure for just about everything. In one episode of the family drama 7th Heaven, one young character what can be done about war. The father on the show, a minister, says, "We can take a good look in the mirror, and when we see peace, that's when we'll have peace on earth." The rest of the episode featured each character smiling broadly to himself or herself in the mirror. In other words, if we all just loved ourselves enough, it would put an end to war. (Not only is this tripe, but wars, if anything, are usually rooted in too much love of self, land, and nation.)

Hmm...wasn't it just a couple of chapters ago that she was complaining about the LACK of my generation's conformity, identification with land and nation? LACK of willingness to join the military? Yet somehow, when she it serves her purposes, this same self-love causes wars.

Also - guess the Dalai Lama (and most other major religious leaders) is wrong about improving your character and moral introspection as a way of improving both the self and the world.

A report from Tarrant County, Texas, school district [sic] found that 93% of 39 schools agreed that kindergartners have "more emotional and behavioral problems" than they did five years ago. While it's difficult to tell if this can be traced back to kids having their own way at home, it's certainly one possibility.

That's research? There is any kind of evidence of causality in that statement? As far as I know, the evidence suggests that violence in the home, not child-centered love correlates with violence in children. Out of a million possible causes and correlations, Twenge picks at random her pet thesis.

Here's another great example:

Compared to previous generations, Generation X and Generation Me experience a 42% greater drop in marital satisfaction after having children. Researchers at the National Marriage Project found similar results and concluded that "children seem to be a growing impediment for the happiness of marriages."

Although economic pressures may partially explain this change, it is likely rooted in the radical shift away from the self that parenthood requires.

What? What? How exactly did she get from cause to effect here? One possible explanation (just tossing it out there for thought) - these generations go into HAPPIER marriages than previous ones, so children reduce their happiness to a greater degree. I'm not saying that's the cause, I'm just saying that there's no evidence offered for her conclusion that is any greater than that one.

And this is just another facet of something she repeatedly harps on - that marriage and children have become optional. This is an unusual statement for a so-called scientist - the human race is not exactly on the verge of underpopulation, and the vast majority of the world has no access to reliable birth control - so she is implying a value judgment that having children is "good" in and of its own sake.

Or how about this gem of twisted logic (page 84 of my edition):

Movies have latched onto "never give up on your dreams" with a vengeance. I like to say that modern movies have only four themes: "Believe in yourself and you can do anything," "We are all alike underneath," "Love conquers all," and "Good people win." (Do try this at home; almost every recent movie fits one of the four.) All of these themes tout the focus on the self so common today; in fact, it is downright stunning to realize just how well movies have encapsulated the optimistic, individualistic message of modern Western culture....

She goes on to cite Erin Brockovich and Rudy as two examples. She seems to fail to realize that movies are made about these subjects precisely because they are atypical and heroic - that's what makes the stories interesting. Her insistence that this is a unique phenomenon to the last 30-40 years is, frankly, bizarre. Apparently the individual hero is a uniquely American phenomenon, not something deeply embedded in human literature. Hmm. Maybe Moses never should have bothered about letting his people go. Prometheus should have left the damn fire alone. Jesus needed to just go along with the Romans. Galileo should have just said, "Shucks, guys, I am disappointed by the turn my life has taken - so I guess you all are right." Guess Jean Valjean should have sucked up the prison system. She later whines about movies such as Slackers - the exact opposite. So get straight, Twenge - do you want reality or dreams? Or maybe we should just close cinemas altogether. After all, they don't have a dress code for admission.

What's a good movie?

Take the 1946 film It's a Wonderful Life, where George Bailey gives up his dreams of making it big to stay in his small town and run the local bank. After one particularly bad day, he decides to kill himself, but an angel stops by showing him how all of his good deeds have benefited others. Many people love this movie for its message that self-sacrifice can lead to good outcomes. I saw It's a Wonderful Life for the first time when I was 18, and I hated it, probably because it violated the conventions of every other movie I had ever seen: Why should he have to give up his dreams? He should be able to pursue his ambitions, and - modern movies had taught me well - he could have won if he had tried hard enough.

This movie is ok by her because it is realistic, showing that good deeds and character, and reality make classic movies. The irony is apparently completely lost on her: for the previous 84 pages of the book, she has frequently lambasted the self-esteem movement's message that "All are intrinsically worthy and worthy of love" (by parents, God, whoever), yet isn't that exactly what the angel is telling the despondent, crushed, suicidal George? Poorly played, Dr. Twenge.

A mere 3 pages later:

The quest for fame may explain the recent fascination with over-the-top weddings, and why, in general, Americans still have weddings when living together is so popular. Having a dress fit specifically for you, having someone else apply your makeup, having everyone admire your beauty - as author Carol Wallace points out, these are experiences usually shared by only two groups of women: celebrities and brides. Wedding vendors often emphasize that this is your one chance to be a "princess for a day," and we believe it. One bride said, "Finally, I got center stage in something." Finally. As Wallace writes, "Having 'center stage' being the focus of all eyes is so prized in today's culture that many of us, relegated to the background, feel diminished until we get our turn in the spotlight."

I fall strongly on the anti-wedding-industrial-complex side of this issue, but wasn't it just a few chapters ago that you were railing about how someone once sent your parents a wedding invitation with pictures of a cowboy and cowgirl on it, people writing their own vows, bridesmaids not all wearing the same dress, candid photos in wedding photography, and having bridesmen or groomswomen?

More and more people every year get nose jobs, breast implants, facelifts, and a long list of less invasive procedures like Botox injections and lip plumping. Eyebrow waxing has become a near requirement for women, and today's body-hugging fashions are enough to make women long for the big-shirt-and-leggings days of the early 1990s....

I thought conformity was dead and we all dress for comfort and look sloppy all the time, Dr. Twenge.

Science? Or morality/opinion? How about this subheading:

"Tattoos, nose piercings, and God-knows-where piercings"

Maybe it's just me, but a scientific sociological report would probably head that, "Tattoos, nose piercings, and body piercing/modification." You'd do better to hide your moralizing if you want to keep pretending this is a sociological book.

And so it goes, with a minor nod to the fact that maybe some groups might have benefited by an increasingly tolerant society, that yeah, maybe less people are getting lynched.

If you agree with the premise of her book (which boils down to "these young'uns ain't worth a damn"), you'll probably feel validated. If you are looking for science, a true study of the causes of rising depression, anxiety, and disillusionment - look elsewhere.

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember watching "Reality Bites" on video with some friends in college. Supposedly this was THE Generation X movie, and as someone with a 1973 birthdate, I was a solid Gen-X-er. Whatever that means. I remember the characters' cynicism and aimlessness, and I suspect the movie was pretty aimless as well because I don't remember a single thing about the plot (mostly, I remember debating with myself over whether Ethan Hawke's goatee was scruffily cool or just plain off-putting). I never really understood what it actually meant to be a Gen-X-er, and the movie didn't help much.

But this book did. Twenge includes the amorphous Generation X (as well as people born in the '80s and early '90s) in what she aptly calls "Generation Me." I found myself nodding and saying "Yes!" to myself as Jean Twenge made many observations that I felt were right on. We've thrown out a lot of our sense of formality and social rules and encouraged individuality at the expense of conformity, with mixed consequences. Yes, it's nice that no one cares any more whether you wear white shoes after Labor Day or dictates the choice of careers open to women. But the fact that parents are expected to be more democratic, teachers expected to teach more interactively and hand out good grades more readily, that the rules about what constitutes TMI have basically gone out the window -- good thing, or bad thing?

Then, there's the whole self-esteem thing. I think I've said this on goodreads before, but I feel compelled to rant here that one of my pet peeves is the use of the terms "high self-esteem" and "low self-esteem." I think they're complete misnomers; I've met very few people whose self esteem was unilaterally "high" or "low" because self-esteem is way more complex than that, or certainly should be. In my view, the dichotomy is between "healthy self-esteem" and "unhealthy self-esteem" -- healthy self-esteem being an accurate sense of your strengths and weaknesses, and unhealthy self-esteem being an inaccurate sense of your strengths and weaknesses. Your bias may be high, low, or more frequently, bidirectional -- the point is that it's a bias and can therefore be dangerous.

Be that as it may, Twenge attacks the self-esteem movement and I heartily agree with her (despite her insistence on describing the focus as "high self-esteem"). School curricula designed to raise self-esteem as an end in itself are sorely misguided, says Twenge. Simply praising children over nothing is empty and shallow, and at its worst, breeds narcissism rather than accurate self-confidence. Kids' mistakes should be corrected by their teachers -- otherwise, how will they learn?

Rather than focusing on self-esteem, says Twenge, schools would be far better off focusing on self-control and persistence -- research has demonstrated these qualities, far more than self-esteem, to be correlated with success. And instead of "All About Me" projects, why not have kids interview their classmates instead and learn about others? The world might actually be a better place if we stopped worrying about ourselves so much and started thinking about other people. Now there's a thought.

Similarly, popular myths like "you need to love yourself before you can truly love someone else" are a load of crap -- people who love themselves are narcissists, and narcissists don't function well in relationships. Self-esteem is not necessarily a prerequisite for a good relationship -- in fact, it's actually the result of a good relationship; people in good relationships tend to have higher self-esteem than people who are alone.

Twenge goes on to describe the inevitable disappointment of Generation Me, fed on a steady diet of "You can be anything you want to be" only to get out into the workforce and meet unsympathetic bosses, the realistic need to work at jobs that may actually feel unfulfilling (go figure), and an ever-increasing cost of living. This may be a factor in the ever-rising prevalence of depression and anxiety among young adults, pretty ironic and sad when you consider that the world we live in is actually way more comfortable and convenient than in previous generations.

Twenge also talks about the cynicism of this generation. Ironically, while we're taught we can "be anything we want to be," we also have less and less belief in our power to change the system or even ourselves. Rather, we have a "victim mentality" that may start out as excuses for poor performance in school (Twenge maintains that while some learning disabilities are certainly legitimate, everyone seems to be searching for factors outside the child to explain the child's poor performance and/or bad behavior rather than encouraging responsibility) and ends up as a feeling of apathy toward social problems.

It's a pretty bleak picture, although more or less accurate in my opinion. Twenge does have some ideas about how to improve things -- forget the whole self-esteem movement and focus on self-control instead; provide better career counseling for young people; provide more support for working families (subsidized child-care, school schedules that are more compatible with parents' schedules, etc.); don't automatically side with your child if someone complains about his behavior; don't overthink your problems; value social relationships; cultivate realistic expectations rather than assuming you should "follow your dreams" no matter what (boo to you,
The Alchemist); etc.

I was quite enthusiastic about this book as I was reading it and decided to give it five stars for that reason, but I should qualify that by saying that lots of people have voiced some legitimate criticisms. My husband questions her research and the validity of some of her conclusions and feels she's being a bit of an alarmist, a sentiment which may have been voiced by some other goodreads reviewers. So take what I say with a grain of salt, but for what it's worth, I found the book to be an insightful view of the generation I grew up in and a lot of its problems. It depressed me, but it also made me want to think about how I can avoid these pitfalls both personally and as a parent. I think that's worth a lot.

[William Lawrence · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really appreciated The Narcissism Epidemic and thought it was a well written and researched book, so I was surprised to find myself disliking Generation Me. After setting up all these credible methods, studies, credentials, etc. early on in chapter 1 and the preface, Twenge seems to throw a lot of those elements away as the book progresses. What ruins that early credibility are the subjective opinionated observations (and hasty generalizations) that can't possibly come from any reasonable quantitative or qualitative research studies.

Overall though, I think Twenge is trapped in her own generation of bias (I am also from Gen X but later on in the decade toward the end). I look around and see narcissism, but it's not individualism. Twenge repeatedly confuses the two.

What I see when I look around, and what my own research has found, is actually a more collective society, more collective than ever, with an extreme loss of individualism and privacy. How often do you look around and see a person comfortable and confident enough to stand somewhere alone without having the artificial crutch of a device in their hands so they appear busy and connected? The extreme glorification of extroversion and group think has taken hold, as documented in Susan Cain's Quiet and Diana Senechal's Republic of Noise. In the books Learning and Personality and Personality and Prejudice: Educational Discrimination of the Introverted Independent ThinkerPersonality and Prejudice, we find how many schools have gone from independent rows to pods of tables in clusters. Many teachers now emphasize more group work instead of independent reflection, all because the theorists in schools of education have promoted this theory for over fifty years. (Look up social constructivism). So many jobs today too emphasize collaborative work, yet this book says we're all alone and individuality is prime concern?

I tend to wonder if Twenge is playing off the old social constructivism playbook: say we are more individualist than ever before (even though we're far from it) just so we become even more communal.

That's the bad side, but look at the good-- the grassroots participation of millions in social and political activism or nonpolitical fundraising. If community is the true intent of Twenge's book, there are great benefits, but we must also preserve individuality and privacy. Maybe it is that extreme loss of individualism and privacy that actually creates more narcissism?

[عبدالكريم الدخين · Rating 3 out of 5]

دعنا ننطلق من المفارقة التي ذكرها مايكل فولي حول أن أباطرة الفردانية في العصور الحديثة عانوا كثيرًا في أواخر حياتهم، واتسمت مؤلفاتهم في مراحل الفردنة الذاتية بالغضب، والأمثلة هنا تتجه إلى بودلير وفلوبير ونيتشه، بمعنى آخر الفردنة اختيار حر صحيح لكنه يقوم على تحمل أعباء قد لا يتكمن الفرد من تحملها، هذا الاتجاه كان اختيار في فترة ما قبل الجيل z أو كما تسميه توينجي الجيل أنا، لكنه الآن شبه حتمي، ببساطة نحن نسكن في أقبية وجزر ذاتية، تدرجت الأجيال حسب المؤلفة من الاحتكام للسلوكيات الجماعية إلى فقط الاسترشاد بها في جيل السبعينات والثمانينات حتى وصلت مع الجيل أنا وهو الجيل الجديد إلى تبديلها بالاسترشاد بالرغبة، وريما لاحقًا إلى الاحتكام المطلق لها، في الفصل الثاني تتعمق توينجي في ما بعد الحداثة النفسية إذا صح التعبير، حيث الفرد لم يعد فقط كائنًا ذا حقوق، بل مشروع مفتوح بلا خريطة.
الفرد هنا ليس حرًا لأنه تجاوز السلطة، بل لأنه فقدها ولم تعد له مرجعية يهتدي بها.
توينجي لا تهاجم هذا التحول بشكل مباشر، لكنها تشير إلى أن الثمن الباهظ
لهذه الفردانية قد يكون: القلق، العزلة، والنرجسية . وفي الفصل الثالث تقدم نقدًا لواقع المجتمعات النيوليبرالية، في كونها تؤسس المنظومات التعليمية والإعلامية على تضخم التوقعات منها داخل الفرد، فهو تجعله يؤمن بأنه سيصبح أي شيء والمجال مفتوح بالكامل أمامه، بينما تُبنى الذات داخل هذه المجتمعات على مثل غير واقعية تفتقر لمسألة التدرج والصبر، مما يحعل المفارقة تنطوي على أن الإنسان في هذا السياق سيصبح بلا تقدير ذاتي وسيقع عند أول عائق حقيقي. وفي الفصل الرابع تكشف توينجي عن مفارقة مؤلمة: جيل رُبّي على الثقة بالنفس والتميّز يعاني في الواقع من أعلى معدلات القلق والاكتئاب والوحدة. تربّت الأنا الفردية في غياب الإسناد المجتمعي، فانتهت إلى هشاشة داخلية أمام أول إخفاق. التكنولوجيا زادت القرب شكليًا لكنها عمّقت الوحدة الفعلية. التربية المثالية والضغط على الإنجاز المبكر صنعا شعورًا دائمًا باللاجدوى. وتختم توينجي برسالة تعاطف: نحن لسنا بخير… لكن لا بأس أن لا نكون كذلك . وفي الفصل الخامس تحلل توينجي كيف أدّت تربية “أنت مميز” و”كل شيء من حقك” إلى تآكل الشعور بالمسؤولية الشخصية لدى جيل “Me”. فحين يفشل الفرد، لا يعود إلى ذاته، بل يُسارع إلى لوم الآخرين والظروف. تتضخم عقلية الضحية ويضعف الصبر والانضباط، ويُستبدل العمل الجاد بثقافة الأعذار والتبرير. يرتفع الشعور بالاستحقاق بينما تتراجع القدرة على التحمّل. وتخلص توينجي إلى أن تمجيد الذات دون تدريب على التحديات الحقيقية أنتج جيلًا هشًّا أمام الحياة. وفي الفصل السادس، تناقش توينجي التحول العميق في نظرة جيل “Me” إلى الجنس والعلاقات، حيث لم يعد الجنس مرتبطًا بالقيم أو الالتزام، بل غدا تعبيرًا ذاتيًا وحقًا فرديًا. ازداد الانفتاح والحرية، لكن في المقابل تراجعت الحميمية وعمق العلاقات، وبرزت مشاعر الندم والفراغ. صارت العلاقات عابرة، والرغبة مقدَّمة على الالتزام، وتضخّمت التوقعات بفعل الإعلام. تحرّر الجسد لكن بقي القلب متعبًا، والعلاقات أكثر هشاشة. وتؤكد توينجي أن التحرر دون مرجعية أخلاقية ترك الجيل في حالة تيه وجداني . وفي الفصل السابع، تستعرض توينجي صعود خطاب الهوية في جيل “Me”، حيث أصبحت العِرق، والنوع، والجندر محاور مركزية في تعريف الذات والمطالبة بالاعتراف. انتقل الجيل من السعي للمساواة إلى التركيز على الخصوصيات الفردية، مما ولّد حساسية مفرطة تجاه النقد والخلاف. وبينما زاد التقبّل والتنوع، تفاقمت الانقسامات والاتهامات، وظهرت ثقافة “إلغاء” المخالف بدل محاورته. أصبح التعبير عن الهوية حقًا غير قابل للنقاش، وأي مساس بها يُعد اعتداء. وتخلص توينجي إلى أن المبالغة في الفردانية الهوياتية قوضت أسس الحوار المشترك . و في الفصل الثامن، تناقش توينجي الصدمة التي يواجهها جيل “Me” عند دخول سوق العمل، حيث تصطدم طموحاتهم العالية بتحديات الواقع القاسي. نشأ الجيل على وعود بالتميّز والشغف، لكنه يكتشف أن النجاح يتطلب صبرًا وتدرجًا ومهارات جماعية. يتوقع كثيرون الاحترام والترقية السريعة، لكنهم يفتقرون إلى المرونة والانضباط. ومع ارتفاع التوقعات وضعف التحمل، تزداد مشاعر الإحباط وعدم الرضا المهني. وتؤكد توينجي أن تربية مثالية دون إعداد للواقع أنتجت جيلاً يعاني من خيبة مهنية مبكرة. وفي الفصل الأخير وهو التاسع، تقدم توينجي خلاصة عملية لإنقاذ جيل “Me” من التوتر النفسي وخيبة التوقعات، داعيةً إلى تربية واقعية ومتوازنة. تقترح إعادة تعريف النجاح، وتعليم الصبر، والتمييز بين تقدير الذات الحقيقي والمصطنع. تشدد على أهمية العلاقات الحقيقية، والمسؤولية الشخصية، والانتماء الجماعي دون نفي للفرد. تحذر من ثقافة الإنجاز السطحي، وتدعو إلى القبول بالذات في ضعفها وقوتها. وتختم بأن الحل ليس في العودة للماضي ولا في تمجيد الذات، بل في بناء جيل أكثر وعيًا وصلابة.





في الحقيقة لا جديد في كلام توينجي هو في ذات السياق الذي يتحدث عنه كل النقاد للمجتمعات الحديثة منذ اريك فروم ومدرسة فرانكفورت إلى اولريش بك وباومان وبيونج شول هان وفرانكل وتوفلر وسوزان نيومان ، ورتشارد سينيت والان بلوم وتشارلز تايلور و��لبقية .. ولا أدري هذه الطبعة التي قرأتها كانت في 2014 فربما قدمت طبعة جديدة فيها تعبيرات أدق، ولكن هذا الوصف على قوته إلا أنه إشكالي بسبب التغيرات الغريبة والكثيفة لهذا الجيل، فكلما حاولنا مقاربته وفهمه اكتشفنا تغيره السريع، وظهور أفكار غريبة وجديدة علينا، أعتقد أن المفارقة تكمن في مسألة الوصف ذاتها، فهل نحن ننظر للأطر والمؤسسات والمواقع والأساليب التي يعيشها هذا الجيل ؟ أم ننظر لتفاعله هو معها؟! هل هناك تغيرات غير منطقية وقوالب تؤثر على الأفكار باستمرار وتغيرها ؟! هل أصلا مسألة إطلاق الأوصاف على جيل ما بحد ذاتها فكرة سليمة ؟! لا أدري الموضوع بالنسبة لي إشكالي والحكم المريح والشجب الطبيعي لجيلنا على الجيل التالي والذي ينطوي على ممارسة تقليدية منذ قرون هو أسلوب مريح ؟! لا أعلم.!

[Babiejenks]

generation me has a promising start. i can dig the whole, the self-esteem education approach has developed a generation with a heightened predisposition for narcissism bit. as the daughter of a moscow conservatory-trained violist, i have been hearing my mother complaining for the past two decades about how american students (as opposed to european and asian ones) are totally incapable of dealing with criticism. with a music instrument there is no "A for Effort." you either hit the right note, or you didn't. so it would definitely seem like a valid observation that america's particular ego-insulating take on child development could yield a lot of egotistic children.

there's even a semi-astute extension of this theory into an explanation for the civic cynicism in the recent generation of once would be "rebels." all this focus on the self, i.e, "you gotta believe in yourself, and then you can achieve anything," or "you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else" could logically translate to a widespread political apathy. after all, if things are screwed up, you're supposed to be able to take care of it simply by believing in yourself more... right? not by joining with the other people who are in the same boat as you and working towards affecting larger institutional change together, certainly. while prior generations of youth were protesting, and organizing towards making an impact in social justice and civil liberties, we can't even be bothered to vote. the promotion of a rampant, definitively american style of radical individualism (hellooo, Ego, how YOU doin`?) certainly could be a suspect to bring in for questioning on that charge.

however, beyond these two points the book is a mess of contradiction, anecdotal "proof," and some mind-bogglingly trite answers to the narcissism epidemic (how did the editor okay "watch less MTV, and get your daily dose of essential fatty acids, kids" as a valid "solution".... seriously?)

the biggest disappointment of the book is that it actually fails to present any kind of sufficient analysis for the implications and applications of this elevated cultural narcissism. don't get me wrong, i think the diagnosis is dead-on. i just don't think the symptom chart is all that accurate.

perhaps the most glaring oversight in the book is the complete ignorance or denial of two very significant books on the future of life for the coming generation, resulting in statements that end up being glaring contradictions of prior trend-forecasts.

to read the full review visit: http://social-creature.com/too-narcis...

[Merissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just like apparently everyone born after 1974, I had unrealistic expectations...for this book. And they were met with an unfulfilling reality. It started out strong and quickly devolved into the author's thinly veiled ranting about her dissatisfaction with her own career, financial situation, relationships, and female triple burden. The chapter on rising social equality was poorly researched (and, some studies would indicate, antithetical to trends in social equality) and I couldn't get over 1. the author's inability to address any current debates about LGBTQ issues and 2. the author's effort to argue that race is no longer relevant in the eyes of "GenMe," after she spent a chapter repeatedly whining (yes, whining) about how she couldn't afford to own a nice house in a "safe" neighborhood and related an anecdote about how real estate fliers should have described a house as being a lovely place to visit as neighbors walk back to the ghetto with their shopping carts. (Here's a thought: whoever said that everyone is entitled to own a house in the first place?) The whole book is based on the assumption that the generation she describes is one of white middle class adults who come from educated, white, middle class backgrounds. Also, how many times can the woman defend the Catholic church in one book? Also, I don't believe that a shift in parenting styles is enough to lump together Gen X and Gen Y. Also, I disagree that young people as a mass are apathetic and materialistic. Perhaps the book could use a revision to examine how profoundly the recession has impacted the financial/material goals and political involvement of young people entering the workforce. Oh wait -- am I using my obvious personal feelings and experiences to make sweeping generalizations about millions of people?

[Wendy Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was, for me, like looking in a mirror. I was born in 1974 so I fit into the group the author calls Generation Me. As I read the book, I repeatedly thought, "Yes, that's exactly how I think about that issue," and usually the reasons she gave for why GenMe thinks/acts a certain way, were my reasons as well.

The book explores lots of areas in which GenMes differ from Boomers, from our view of work including what kind we want and how much of our lives they are willing to give to it to our view of service, equality among people, etc.

The bottom line is that as GenMes we have grown up believing we could be anything we wanted to be, and now we are facing a reality where that isn't true. Instead of becoming movie stars, billionaire CEO's, or professional athletes and doing jobs for ultimate fulfillment and adventure, we are forced to take everyday, menial jobs in order to pay the bills--and there are many.

The end of the book paints a fairly depressing picture that involves our generation being ignored in the political process because we refuse to be involved in it. The future includes us having advanced degrees and barely eeking out a living, struggling to buy a home, and in many cases choosing between having children or living a lower-middle class life because both won't be possible.

All in all, I thought it would a very insightful book backed by strong research. I hope that GenMes, myself included, will find a way to overcome our anxiety and disillusionment, get involved in the political process, and change things so that the future can be brighter.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Generation Me" is the "new" name for those of us born between 1970 and 2000, so named because we "put ourselves first". Now, you might think that with all these quotation marks I'm sounding snide and feeling defensive, but actually I found it perfectly apt - with a few qualifiers. The name fills a label gap that follows the short-lived "Generation X", those born in the late 1960s to the 1970s. Generation Me, in contrast, covers a longer time period and encapsulates a bigger, more encapsulating cultural trend.

As for the qualifiers, well, the first thing to note is that this book is specifically about, and uses studies about, Americans. Twenge never says or implies that this is about the under-35s of any other country, though it's clear that some or much of it still applies. The main reason why I'm highlighting this is to do with the "self-esteem movement", which I'll get to. The other reason is that, unlike Twenge (herself born at the beginning of the generation), I'm unwilling to include myself and speak of "we" and "our" etc., because there are some major differences between America's Generation Me, and my own country's Generation Me - if the label even applies, as we shall ponder. So I will steer clear of lumping myself in, simply because if makes too many assumptions.

This is an entertaining and informative look at this generation (of which, yes, I am technically a part of, since I was born in 1979). If you too are of this generation (35 and under, more or less), there's not going to be much that's new here because, to various degrees, we live it. Mostly, it's a validation of our troubles, the satisfaction of being supported in the fact that we do have it harder than the previous generation, the Baby Boomers.

It might make you feel defensive, though, because even if you're not coming from the "self-esteem movement" (more on that below), this generation still finds it hard to take criticism (on a personal side note, I was surprised to hear in my teaching seminar class, prior to each practicum, the advice from our instructor not to get upset when we hear criticism - I don't think many of us were the kind of people to get upset at criticism, but I guess there've been a few. According to this book, it's typical behaviour). There are some mean truths that are aired like dirty laundry, and even if you don't behave in such-and-such a way, you tend to feel guilty by association, because you're of this generation.

There are also some problems with the book, of which I'll go into, since my only other option for a review is really to repeat all the interesting stuff - and that's what the book's for.

THE SELF-ESTEEM MOVEMENT

"Generation Me" is defined by a number of things, captured in the following quote (which was the nicest way she ever put it):

"Generation Me has the highest self-esteem of any generation, but also the most depression. We are more free and equal, but also more cynical. We expect to follow our dreams, but are anxious about making that happen." (p.212)

Raised on a steady diet of self-esteem programs that taught them that they are special and can do anything and be anything they want, GenMe'ers are self-absorbed to the point of narcissism. More importantly - and commonly - they grow up with huge expectations that are hugely unrealistic. Twenge gives as one example the hapless, tuneless "singers" on American Idol auditions who, after being told they simply can't sing, tell the cameras that they're still going to pursue their dream of being a singer. The other insidious message that GenMe'ers have grown up on - and one which I find as ridiculous and distasteful as Twenge does - is the one you've all heard (because it's everywhere), "you have to love yourself before you can love another". This is utter self-indulgent crap.

As Twenge and others rightly point out, self-esteem comes from achieving things, from the sense of satisfaction we get when we work hard and accomplish things, and also from caring about others and being important to them, not to ourselves. She also points out that those who absorb the self-love message too deeply become narcissists, who are incapable of having relationships. The link between putting yourself and your wants first, and the difficulty in meeting someone, pursuing a relationship and then making it work, seems pretty clear and something I've often thought of, though not in these words.

The ironic thing is that self-esteem can't be taught, and it can't be gained by believing that you're special. Twenge rests the increased focus on the self, of increased individualism, onto this "self-esteem movement". There are positives and negatives of being individualistic and she speaks to both of them. She makes a point of saying that it's not that GenMe'ers are selfish, but that they've been taught to put themselves first, that they were born into a culture where this message dominated - and still does - and that if anyone's to blame for their lack of manners, their sense of entitlement, it's their parents: the Baby Boomers.

GenMe'ers have started having children themselves and she wonders aloud whether the trends will continue to worsen, or if the unrealistic expectations and the anxiety and depression that comes from them - particularly in our economic climate - will see a different generation born of this one.

The problem with the self-esteem argument, upon which Twenge's entire thesis rests, is that it's primarily an American phenomenon and so doesn't explain the rise in individualism that's noticeable in other developed "western" nations as well (having lived in Australia, Japan and Canada, and being familiar with the school systems in all of those countries, I can assure you that these self-esteem programs are not common, if they exist at all, outside of America). Admittedly, our individualism is nowhere near as blatant as it is in the States: the sense of entitlement is much reduced (or, since it's been reported by professors at the University of Toronto this year, maybe only a much more recent occurrence); the habit of GenMe people blaming others for their own mistakes or failings isn't as noticeable or common; and while many of the same economic hardships are present, with the same outcomes (later marriages, later pregnancies, more difficulty finding a job after university), I would hazard a guess that the anxiety levels and depression are lower than in America.

ISSUES OF CONTEXT

Twenge is a psychologist and she spent over a decade accumulating data and studying comparisons of surveys and statistics to show that there is a strong generational change between Baby Boomers and GenMe'ers. What's missing is a broader historical context.

Modern America, since the first white colonies, has been a place founded on principles of individualism - and greed. The lure that saw thousands flock to its shores was the idea that America was a land of opportunity. By definition, this means pursuing your dreams and getting rich, no matter where you started from. Obviously this wasn't really the case, but more of a self-fulfilling prophecy for some. It's still considered a land of opportunity by many immigrants from poorer countries, though why you'd pick America, with its poverty, low education standards, lack of national health care and other support networks, crime and fanaticism, over other developed countries is beyond me. I guess you have to come from something much worse to look forward to the crippling debt and intolerance that America offers.

But I digress. My point was that, until Twenge compartmentalised it, I saw the ideology, materialism, and attitudes of today's generation as merely the obvious continuation of trends that have been slowly gathering momentum over the last few centuries. By that token, it seems equally obvious that they would be "more" of this and that than the previous generation. It also takes some of the pressure of blame (again, always blaming others!) from the shoulders of the Baby Boomers. And yet, and yet, I don't quite believe that either.

THE BABY BOOMERS

Twenge goes no further back than a few brief mentions of the WWII generation of mothers who gave birth to the Baby Boomers, so the larger historical context is missing. She does discuss the economy, in chapter 4, offering yet more evidence for why America is far from the best country to emigrate to - speaking as a foreigner.

Another aspect of individualism that has an impact, and ties in with my earlier argument, is "planned obsolescence". This has been going on for all of last century, since General Motors realised they couldn't compete with Ford on better quality motor cars, so they started making them in different colours and styles instead, giving people "choice" (for an excellent book on this, see Giles Slade's Made to Break). This excessive choice didn't start recently, but has been going on for some time. With too much choice, Twenge explains, comes dissatisfaction.

Another point worth noting but merely hinted at in the book, is that the Baby Boomers had a life of relative safety and luxury and wealth - they'll admit as much. Arguably, GenMe'ers have even more safety, and there's more wealth and luxury surrounding them - but it's unattainable to more than a select (often lucky) few. But we are raised in comfortable homes by parents with decent incomes and at the very least we expect the same. As Twenge points out, in America at least this just isn't possible. With soaring housing prices and health insurance premiums outstripping incomes, people can't afford to have children let alone a house or even a small condo. I was surprised that she never once speculated as to what is likely to happen when the vast majority of Boomers finally retires - if it will help or make things worse.

The difficulties of finding a job after university and affording a house and children - the things that designate "adult" and so, she says, we are "postponing" adulthood, which I don't agree with - are in Canada as well, and other countries I'm sure, but at least we have health care. I don't mean to sound smug (okay, yes, I do), but things aren't half as bad here despite not being able to find a job or afford our own home, and my uni debt is minimal - thus, we probably experience less anxiety and depression. Fear of crime is lower as well. But I'm starting to ramble.

This does tie in with Twenge's argument that it's the Baby Boomers who created this generation of super-eager dreamers: when you convince them that they can do anything, and then they reach adulthood and find out that it's far from true, that's a lot to come to terms with. They have also been over-indulgent parents, wanting to be "friends" with their kids, taking their sides in everything, arguing with teachers if their child did poorly etc.

AND SO...

There's plenty in Generation Me that resonates, but at the end of it all, what's the point, really? There's wasn't much at all that was new here, though it was articulated well. It is a better book for the Baby Boomers themselves, and even the older generations, who, Twenge hopes, will come to understand the monsters they've created the younger generation.

[Dia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before I even read this book -- just upon reading reviews of it -- I was gleefully using it to support long-pent-up rants aimed at the younger people I work with. (Behind their backs, of course. And I really do love them. But.) As I began reading it, though, the rants melted into sadness...and more sadness...and finally outright anxiety on behalf of the folks it describes, which actually (though not technically) include myself. The research is sound, and the prognostications are not pretty. Still, there is plenty to argue with here. (I had my first-year college students read a chapter, and their response was one of denial: That's not us. I think they all became a little more committed to selflessness on having this particular mirror held up before them.) One of the more surprising parts of Twenge's book, I thought, was her description of Boomers as being relatively non-individualistic -- everything was done in groups, even self-discovery. Perhaps this is generally true during times of war (compare the WWII generation).

One thing I would have liked Twenge to expand on is the nature, appropriate use, and limitations of unconditional positive regard (UPR). This isn't really her province, though, so maybe it's wise that she didn't. I have a feeling, though, that the problem is NOT that kids have been raised with too much UPR -- but rather that the kind of UPR they have received has been not altogether genuine. After all, is it really so easy to unconditionally love? The real problem might be that parents, teachers, counselors, etc. have felt that they should be giving UPR but haven't really been able to do so. Anyway...have a great conversation after reading this book, and good luck to us all!

[Rosanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Apparently young people today are depressed and selfish. They won't be as monetarily successful as their parents, but they don't realize that until well into their 30s because they spend their 20s pursuing their unattainable dreams and still being supported by their parents. Does this book generalize? Yes. Is some of this common sense? Yes. It is interesting? Yes, but still, she never explored any one topic in great length and the book seemed to me like a glorified list of differences between generations. More in-depth discussion, please.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Generation "me" -- in other words, Generation Jean.

I have heard that her scholarly research is credible, but this is a poorly supported, poorly written book. She projected herself into the text in ways that made me think that she was, indeed, simply looking for a venue for self-disclosure. Ugh.

Truly awful.

[Rachel Shahidzadeh · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found Dr. Twenge incredibly condescending and full of herself. She generalizes an entire generation of youth into a tiny little box, and doesn't leave room for variant. Really disliked her tone, and although a lot of what she said has merit, I just couldn't get past her attitude.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not, thankfully, a "kids today!" diatribe. The author is firmly rooted in Gen-Me (anyone born post 1960, it seems) and examines her own prejudices, expectations, entitlements as she asks the reader to do. If you grew up accepting "Free to Be You and Me" as nothing new--perfectly obvious that mommies are people and can be firemen and that you shouldn't put your horse in a dress--then this book is about you.

Gen-Me is not necessarily about selfishness (though can be a result), but it's about a focus on the self to the exclusion of community. While this leads to some great things (a belief that everyone is unique, special, valuable, lovable, capable--does anyone else remember having to recite "I am loved and capable" in a class; tolerance, a celebration of diversity, optimism that anything is possible, etc.), it also leads to an inflated sense of entitlement, unrealistic expectations of success, and a misunderstanding of your own talents/limitations (see William Hung). This creates a generation of adults who have been told that there are no restrictions on what they can be, and find a huge disconnect from the feel-good treatment they were brought up with and the professors and employers who then judge them on their actual talents and behavior.

I found this book pretty interesting because so many things she called into question DO seem like self-evident truths to me (self esteem? what's wrong with self-esteem?), but her analysis helped me look at the pros and cons of the Gen-Me inheritence and think a bit about what tools I want to send with my daughter into the world.

[Chrissy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Pissed me off. Stopped after the first chapter. While I appreciate the author's intent to provide an unbiased look at the generation, I couldn't help but feel there was a heavy focus on the negative changes and reluctance to embrace and show the positive changes of the generation.

[LibraryCin · Rating 4 out of 5]

What the author, a professor of psychology, calls “Generation Me” has also been referred to as “Millennials” and “Generation Y” – people born primarily in the 1980s and 1990s. She compares studies of three generations: Baby Boomers, Generation X and “GenMe”, with the focus on GenMe, and brings those statistics to this book. The statistics speak to averages and she also offers anecdotes that illustrate those averages she’s found in the statistics.

GenMe-ers have always been told they are special, to pursue their dreams and that they can be anything they want to be. But, the reality is that it’s now harder for that to realistically happen. So, people of this generation are disappointed, sometimes to the point of anxiety and/or depression when they do not actually realize those dreams. Additional chapters in the book also look at sex, equality, and work.

This was originally published in 2006, but I read the “Revised and Updated” edition, published in 2014, so there was more up to date info. I found this very interesting. It is a lot of stats, but I thought the author made it very readable. I think it might be even more interesting to parents, teachers, etc, as she also offers advice at the end of the book.

[Amalauna Brock · Rating 1 out of 5]

Okay, so at the beginning of the book I could easily pick up her bias, sarcasm, and some snarky undertones in this book. I kept reading because people I know have read and liked this book. I finally stopped reading.

I am not a millennial but I work with them every day in higher ed. I know how obnoxious they can be, but man! Twenge is on a high horse and some of the snark is unnecessary. (There's a line in Chapter 3 that basically states that life is going to suck forever for you if you grow up in the ghetto. Which may or may not be true, but it is an unnecessarily snarky aside.)

I gave up reading this because a privileged white girl writing about the underprivileged in a cavalier way is almost as disgusting as sitting in on a KKK rally. (Not that I believe that Twenge is being racist necessarily, but I do believe her attitude shows her privilege.) Instead of being an unbiased accounting of Gen Me attitudes... it is a attitude driven rant about how Gen me was raised and how she couldn't be a part of it.

If I could rate this with no stars... I would!

[Jenn · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF! DNF! They need a DNF button! I almost always finish a book regardless how much I dread it but this one I can't pick up again without wanting to throw it. The first 2 chapters were good and then... well, I don`t know what happened after that. There were some interesting points made with some studies and facts to back up her points, but then a lot of speculation was made by the author where she may have run out of facts to back up her theories.

She is supposed to be a part of this generation, but she put it down so much that I got the feeling that she was embarrassed about being born during these years. A lot of it made me embarrassed about how people of this generation can act and I kept asking myself “I don’t act like this, do I?” For sure I see the sense of entitlement in the teenagers I work with but I don’t recall having that myself.

[Hooker · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fuck this book.

[Arianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I should have been taking notes; I'm never going to remember everything I wanted to say about this book. But it definitely found itself cropping up in conversations I had throughout the duration - and I'd imagine that will continue, even now that I'm done reading. I was intrigued by the idea that we ("Generation Me") have possibly been ruined by being told from an early age that we are all special snowflakes. And by being told we could be ANYTHING we wanted to be. I always thought that was such a good, encouraging idea! But I understand how such wide open possibility (and the possibility of crushing defeat, when we realize we can't be the next rock star or can't get into law school) can also lead to depression and anxiety. I've felt it, myself! Trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. It probably is the cause of a lot of "quarter-life crises"!

I also really took to the author's suggestion of starting school days later, so that children are on schedules more in line with a 9-5 workday. It just seems like there couldn't possibly be a bad reason to do that! And Twenge makes a great point that students get themselves into a LOT more trouble in the afternoons than they would in the mornings, before school! Plus, that additional lessening of the child care burden? Brilliant!!

Those were the two main points about which I talked a lot yesterday (luckily I have a wonderful boyfriend who will not only listen, but discuss with me). I also talked a lot over the last week about how entitled our generation can be (although I DON'T think it's entirely limited by age - we constantly have the urge to punch the soccer moms at Trader Joe's nearby; I think a lot of it has to do with perceived status). I found I agreed wholeheartedly with the author (from her arguments) that we should do away with the self-esteem programs at schools (we definitely didn't have them when I was growing up!) and let children develop their own sense of self and of self-worth. Otherwise, we are just setting them up for disappointment when they actually come face-to-face with the real world.

Overall, this book made some great arguments, which were tempered by a smattering of fun pop culture references. Enjoyable to read (although it took a while to get into, for me). I did find it amusing to note how, because the book was published in 2006, it could not have possibly made note of things that have happened since, such as Facebook (well, its explosion, anyway), President Obama, and smartphones. It's kind of stuck in this quaint, archaic bubble - but that doesn't detract from the argument in the least. The book is still very pertinent and, I think, still very important to read.

[Jasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay this is one of those books that I want to give a totally high rating cause it was a good old time, but I feel a little dirty rating it this high because it is also academics pandering for the modern dollar. I know, I'm complaining about academics with horrible grammar but hell this is the internet.

This book is great it obviously has a lot of great research behind it. However, a lot of the research is not fully fleshed out and replaced with stories. Think of it like saying I did this gigantic study which found Judy is feeling sad. I would personally prefer the more global picture than Judy's own personal statement, but I understand in the mass market we have done studies that have found people prefer to hear about singled out individuals instead of the crowd. I accept this as long as I can pull the actual data out of the background noise which in most cases I can.

This is also one of those books that makes a startlingly interesting discovery and then promptly forgets that it has made it. There is a moment in the groundwork of the metaphysics of morals where Kant says: this point is so fundamental to my theory if it was proven wrong the entire theory would cease to work. He then does not bother to prove the point is correct. Twenge basically does something similar, she spends most of the book talking about narcissism based on self esteem for its own sake and individuality, then she stumbles upon lack key children. She makes a statement about how they grow up differently believing they don't need other people, but then says they really end up about the same. This to me is infuriating because I was really interested in how they ended up the same, I'm not buying that it is because the teachers took the place of the mommies.

What it comes down to is this is a book on a undeveloped topic so it gets stars just for effort.

[Chantell Petrell · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is one giant generalization. And I hate generalizations. I simply can't agree with what she says and we do not share the same views. Some of her statistics are interesting, but they are just that- statistics. Much more frustrating than fun to read. I spend more time tearing her arguments apart than supporting and agreeing with them. At times, she made it too personalized when it should have been objective by inserting her personal anecdotes. I suppose I just spend my time with people who contradict the statistics. It does seem that she is only surveying a certain part of the youth in America, not *all* Americans between her targeted age range. Overall: meh. At best.

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

An impressive undertaking! The author dug up tens of thousands of peer-reviewed studies that used the same standardized surveys on personal and cultural beliefs in order to look at changes over time. Mostly comparing Baby Boomers and what she terms 'Generation Me' (born between 1970 and 2000), she presents some amazing findings and some interesting theories.

The main reasons for my score are:

1. Redundancy in the text

2. Narrow view of the results (i.e. I feel like some of her findings could have been explained by alternative hypotheses she does not address)

[Jonna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Interesting in the beginning, but too editorial in the last chapters. She started with siting actual studies and facts, but towards the end, many of the "facts" she sited to support her opinions were also opinions. Last of words like "probably", "might," "if", "would be." It sounded like she was presenting her platform for running for a political position rather than presenting substantiated findings.

[Ifeoma Aduba · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not enjoy this book. I must confess, I did not finish it. While I was trying - for the sake of my book club and my annual Goodreads book count - I finally decided to honor that my relationship to this book is not a positive one and that time is a valuable thing. Generational differences actually make for an interesting study. I didn't find it here.

[Kerri · Rating 1 out of 5]

This seemed like more of a rant. And for someone who writes about a generation being to narcissistic, she sure does talk about herself and all the research she did.

[Rachel Bowser · Rating 1 out of 5]

Entire book can be summarized in the final chapter. Too many statistics to keep it interesting (nearly every paragraph has a %). Very cynical.

[Skylar Burris · Rating 3 out of 5]

For a condensed version of the longer review below, click here .

Twenge defines “Generation Me” as anyone born from 1970 to 2000, which includes what is otherwise known as Generation X, Generation Y, and Generation Z. I do appreciate that she expanded her label to encompass many years, since I was getting tired of hearing a new generation named every other month. (My brother once said to me, “In MY generation…” Dude, we have the same parents. Doesn’t that sort of make us the same generation by definition?)

While I definitely think a generation should last more than a high school term, I do think perhaps the author extends her GenMe back too far into the past. Most of the children born in the 70’s didn’t really experience the “self-esteem curriculum” until junior high or high school, after they had already received plenty of humiliating experience standing with their noses in the corners of their elementary school classrooms. (Ah, fond memories! It was like a time out – only effective.) Many children of the 70’s enjoyed their childhood years before “focusing on yourself was not just tolerated but actively encouraged.”

A good part of this book is devoted to distinguishing the Baby Boomers from GenMe, because otherwise it might be hard to decide which generation comprises more self-entitled losers. (It’s GenMe, in case you were wondering.) Baby Boomers are merely “self-absorbed,” while GenMe’rs are “self-important.” Baby Boomers merely “question authority,” while GenMe’rs “disrespect it altogether.” Baby Boomers were out to change the world, while GenMe’ers are cynical and politically uninvolved. Baby Boomer women lost their virginity at the average age of 18, while GenMe’ers lose theirs at the average age of 15. And so on. (By the way, averages rarely provide one with a good overall picture. Median is more telling. Later, Twenge let’s slip that only 41% of 16 year olds report having engaged in any kind of sexual activity, which means that well over 59% of 16 year olds are virgins. Why is it that so many adults seem bent on making it appear that the majority of high school sophomores are having sex when, in fact, they aren’t?)

Twenge thinks a book on generational trends is important because “when you were born has more influence on your personality than the family who raised you.” This line stood out at me because I recently finished reading an extensively researched sociological tome, The Nurture Assumption, which concluded pretty much the same thing: how kids “turn out” has very little to do with how their parents raise them and is owing about half to genetics and half to peers. I like to read these kinds of books because sometimes it’s good to know I’m not really responsible if my children turn out to be immoral, shallow shells of human beings who rack up obscene credit card debt.

Twenge laments that most books on generations, unlike hers, simply offer generalizations without evidence. Well, she does one-up such books by researching opinion polls and personality tests throughout the generations to draw generalizations with some statistical backing. (Although, over half the time, she still uses only anecdotes to support her assertions, and these anecdotes occasionally come from the fringes and are perhaps not evidence of widespread behavior.)

While Twenge more or less satisfactorily defends her character generalizations, she does a poorer job of backing up her economic generalizations. I think we’re supposed to feel bad for GenMe because of their presumably non-self-imposed economic trials and tribulations. I’m not saying her claims of economic hardship are completely insupportable; I’m just saying she doesn’t support them well. And she certainly exaggerates them. Take this: “While families could once achieve middle-class status on the earnings of one high school educated person,, it now takes two college educated earners to achieve the same standard of living.” Some definitions would be helpful. Like what she means by “middle-class status,” “standard of living,” “same,” and “once.” She doesn’t cite any real income statistics, and I can see why. In 2006, the median income of two (one male, one female) full-time employed college graduates, age 25-34 (so, GenMe’rs), was $91,000. The real median income (in constant 2006 dollars) of one male high school graduate aged 25-34 in 1980 (so, a Baby Boomer) was $41,400. Not quite equal, are they? Not even close. Real income has unquestionably declined for workers in this age group who have only a high school diploma (for men, it was $37,000 in 2006 vs. $43,700 in 1980, so a 15% decline). But let’s not exaggerate. And let’s keep in mind that the foreign-born population has also increased over 57% in the last generation, and that recent immigrants generally begin at the bottom of the economic ladder and work their way up over a generation or two, which means we can naturally expect median income for high school graduates to be lower now than it was in a time when recent immigrants were a smaller proportion of the population.

So I’m not quite ready to join in the “Woe is Generation Me!” cry, so sad that, at the age of 25, they can’t afford “even a small house.” Yeah, well, it’s not like my parents bought their very first house straight off the bat either. They waited, worked, and saved for years, and never would have considered taking out a 0% down mortgage equal to five times their income just because they didn't like the idea of buying a smaller or older house. Try living below your means, working and saving for years, not indulging your entertainment and dining and traveling whims, canceling the DirectTV, and then, if you still can’t afford “even a small house,” feel free to whine.

Here’s the problem with these generational economic comparisons. When Twenge sings the economic woes of GenMe, she neglects to emphasize three things: (1) GenMe has, on average, made more fiscally irresponsible choices than previous generations. (2) GenMe can’t expect to enjoy the same standard of living, at the age of 28, that their parents enjoyed at the age of 38 (which is what many of them seem to be expecting). (3) GenMe takes for granted, as part of a “middle-class status,” certain technologies that did not even exist in their parent’s generation.

Now for what I like about the book: Twenge reams the positive self-esteem obsession of modern educators and exposes the ill effects of this popular movement. The push to increase self-esteem as an end in itself[/b:], which was widespread by the early 1990’s, began a seismic cultural shift. It has led to decreased academic performance and greater narcissism. I entirely agree with Twenge that we should focus on building “self-control” rather than “self-esteem.” We should encourage children to develop a realistic and healthy self-image of themselves based on their character, behavior, and effort, not a boundless self-love that grows out of the mere fact of existence.

I have seen on a very small scale how this over-concern for protecting and nurturing self-esteem can affect a child’s expectations and attitudes in a very short time. My daughter has always had a strong and self-confident personality, but since she started Kindergarten, I have constantly had to counteract her expectation that she should be rewarded for every little thing she does and that nothing she does should be corrected. I have helped her with her all-about-me “star of the day” school poster; I have filed the “Sunshine Award” printed certificates she receives at school for doing what, as an elementary school child, I was merely expected to do; I have been told that, at my daughter’s school, they do not “believe in negative discipline” but only practice “positive behavior reinforcement”; and I have read and attempted to decipher the largely uncorrected “creative spelling” in the reams of writing workshop papers she brings home. And so I should not be surprised that one of her favorite questions when I ask her to do something is now, “What will I get?” Don’t get me wrong; I don’t blame this all on the school system. Some of it is my daughter’s personality. Some of it is her age. Some of it is my inconsistent parenting and my lazy tendency to sometimes go along with the modern method of over-rewarding the kids. But modern education’s extreme emphasis on protecting and inflating self-esteem has certainly made the problem of childhood self-absorption greater than it has to be. Worse than that, it has treated childhood self-absorption not as something to be corrected and matured out of, but as something to be embraced and carried into adulthood.

I thought it was interesting how Twenge kept tying Christian fundamentalism (in contrast with “traditional religion”) to GenMe attitudes. The fundamentalist emphasis on a “personal relationship” with God and God’s acceptance of people based on what they believe and not based on what they do in some ways jives with the GenMe emphasis on individualism and self-esteem. I don’t think it’s a particularly accurate comparison, as Christian fundamentalists aren’t exactly known for their loose standards, and the “self-esteem” they encourage is based on God’s love and not self-love, but there’s something intriguing about it. It is an odd contrast, that fundamentalist message of “God loves you no matter what; God accepts you just as you are; what you do doesn’t save you, only what you believe” and yet “don’t drink, don’t dance, don’t smoke, and don’t go with girls who do!” And Christian fundamentalism really is relatively new compared to more traditional works- (or at least works + faith)-based religion. I wish she had explored this relationship farther: Could the Christian fundamentalist emphasis on belief as superior to deeds, on thinking yourself worthy as a child of God no matter what others think of you, actually have had a broader effect on society that contributed to these modern attitudes and self-esteem movements? Or did the self-esteem movement simply influence fundamentalist theology? Are Christian fundamentalists less or more likely to do “good works” than devout adherents of more “traditional” Christian denominations (such as Catholics, Anglicans, Lutherans, etc.)? She had the makings of an interesting secondary topic there, but to my disappointment, she only toyed with it.

Twenge begins this book by bemoaning the self-centered nature of GenMe, but she ends it by implying that GenMe’ers should receive new entitlements in the realm of childcare, healthcare, public preschool, and college. Well, I suppose she is a product of her generation after all. Because, in the end, it’s not about the national indebtedness of future generations – it’s all about me. Why learn to live within my means now when I can keep consuming what I want and pass on the debt to my children and grandchildren?

[Esma T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ben Nesli ele aldığı konular yüzünden pahada ağır bir kitap, yorum yapmakta zorlansam da hakkında bir kaç iyi söz söylemeden bırakmak istemedim.

Jean Twenge, 1960'lardan 2000'lere kadar olan nesilleri ve nesiller arasındaki değişimi inceliyor ve kendi de incelediği nesle mensup, bu işleri daha da onun için zorlaştıran bir durum. Yazar Amerika'da özellikle üniversitelilere yapılmış bir çok testten, o dönemlere ait makale ve haberlerden yararlanıyor. Kitap binlerce kişiye ait verilerin derlenmesi ve incelenmesi ile oluşmuş. Okurken zaman içinde nesillerin nasıl farklı tutumlar benimsediğini ve ne kadar büyük ölçüde değiştiğine tanık oluyor ve ister istemez irkiliyorsunuz. Burada bahsedilen insanlar sadece Amerikalılar olsa da bahsedilen değişimlerin yansımalarını-benzerlerini hem tüm dünyada hem de çevrenizde görmemek imkansız, yüzdeler değişse bile büyük benzerlikler söz konusu gibi duruyor, en azından benim gözlemlerim bu şekilde.

Twenge, ilk bölümler yeni neslin ben merkezciliğine ve özgüvenine odaklanıyor, zaman içinde artan özgüven ve kendine odaklanma durumunu bir çok yönüyle sunduktan sonra aynı neslin depresif ve endişeli kişiliğine odaklanarak aynı anda hem çok özgüvenli olup hem de nasıl endişeli olduğunu sorguluyor. Yazar bir çok konuya değinmiş, aslında hepsi ayrı ayrı ele alınıp incelenmesi gereken sorunlar, bu kitapta yazar daha çok rakamların önderliğinde soruna parmak basıyor. Bu kitap giderek büyüyen sorunları işaret etmekten başka pek bir şey yapmıyor belki ancak bence bu önemli bir başlangıçtı.

Okurken sık sık -istemeden- kendimi hayır ben bahsedilen kişiler gibi değilim diye kandırmak istesem de gerçekler ortada, eski nesillerden çok farklıyız ve "ben" odaklı kişileriz. Kitap bir çok ham bilgi sunuyor, bunlarla ne yapacağımız da bize kalmış, biraz zaman ve bolca düşünmeyi isteyen bir kitaptı. Üstüne çok düşüneceğim muhtemelen.

[Chrisanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I remember as a moody teenager once yelling at my dad that his problem was that he didn't boost my self-esteem. To his credit, in Twenge's opinion anyway, he replied that self-esteem was a feel-good construct that had no scientific backing to it. Which was not what teenage me wanted to hear. :)

I think this was much better than iGen. Possibly because there was less regurgitation of statistics from others... or maybe the author was more emotionally involved. She definitely had more helpful advice than the end. I found it interesting to contrast the two. In iGen it seemed like Millennials were the gold standard. Here there was plenty to be concerned about.

It did seem contradictory at one point-- she mentions that millennials all expect to be CEOs asap which, she rightly says, is an erroneous assumption. But then, later on, she interviews a woman who is 32 and "occupies a high position" in her company and is denied further maternity leave. So is it a conflict of statements there.

I possibly resonated with this because I am a millennial. In fact, I was surprised at how much still seemed familiarly "right" to me. So adjust for that bias.