I'm not sure I can even give this book a bad rating; it had to be 5 stars and nothing else. My Associate Teacher (Mr. G) gifted me this book as a way to inspire and set me up for the initiative he plans to start with his Grade 5/6 class. He spoke about his own Writer's Notebook and how he still carries the same one from 2012 – the date of his first entry. He revealed the sense of warmth and impact he felt when his past students, now in their mid-20s, return and "gigglishly" pulls out their Writer's Notebooks from behind their backs. For teachers, I know for a fact that this was a paramount moment – just the thought of the imprint you have left on your students and how lasting it can be. It's what makes the teaching profession so valuable.
To be frank, I read this book with the mindset of a teacher – the mindset that I would be implementing this in my lessons. Little did I know, how many insightful connections I was able to make with its contents. As I skimmed through the first few pages at my PD school, I knew I would be running to the nearest book store to purchase my very own, personal Writer's Notebook. One of my teaching philosophy is that you can't teach or preach something that you haven't done or believe in. I needed to experience it for myself. If I want my students to fully engage in this activity, I must model by example and fully engage in it as well. It only makes sense that way.
Each chapter sparked teachable moments for me. Luckily, I've had my own positive (and negative) experiences with writing to fall back on. Between the years of 2018 to 2020, I wrote travel journals. They were exactly what you thought journals would be like – very descriptive, a day-to-day recount of the most absurd details that stuck to my teenage mind. For some odd reason, I was hyper-fixated on consumptions and gifts back then. Out of everything I could have jotted down, I made a daily table of items that my family and I bought. For instance, I would neatly lay out how many t-shirts I bought or how many earrings I got for x amount of dollars and which store I purchased it from etc... I kept track of everything my family bought as well. I guess you could say, I loved my gifts back then. It was also in these travel journals that I first wrote about something that "scraped my heart." When I read Ralph Fletcher's analogy of "writing-as-lifejacket: the writing you do because your heart will burst if you don't write it [pg.109]," my mind painstakingly retrieved a memory that was intertwined with a certain set of emotions that I can still feel to this day. I clearly remember where I was and how I felt. I remember this clearly because I wrote it down and even created a feeling scale on the same page, circling the sad emoticon on the scale. I was on a sleeper train in Thailand then. I saw the notification pop up and my thumb dragged along the screen to view the full message. It was from my brother. It felt like someone punched me in the guts. I was still quite young then and didn't know how to respond. My first instinct was to crack open my journal and just write so that's what I did; I wrote about the instance and poured my thoughts into it. I knew it was a piece of writing I didn't want anyone to see. To "hide" it, I folded the page, deepened the crease, and sandwiched it between the covers...like that wouldn't draw more attention to it...
For me, writing allows me to convey my innermost feelings and thoughts into my words, more effectively than if I were to speak it aloud. In my Positionality assignment, I wrote with my heart on my finger tips. Though it was written slightly figuratively, the words and experiences were genuine. That was the first piece of writing I publicly and proudly shared with my family and close friends. It was definitely a leap of faith as I had always been hesitant to share any form of my writing. I had a barrier that prevented me from letting others read my work or even edit it. There was this quote from the novel Verity by Colleen Hoover that divulges: "When you read an author's book, it's like they're sharing a piece of their soul with you. Like they're naked on the pages." That's how vulnerable I felt while writing my assignment. To the quiet girl and to the girl who always can't seem to wipe a smile from her face, there were many insecurities and doubt that even people I grew up with never would have known...and there these were, squarely laid out on the screen. I've received many positive and supportive praises for sharing this piece of writing. It brought tears (and laughter) to my mother, father, and even my professor. My dad, whose usually a stone wall, cried and told me when I visited him in person in China that my writing gave him fuel. Due to the pandemic and the loneliness he endured all my himself in China, those past two years were the hardest it has ever been for him. Not only was the economic situation in China in shatters, but he also felt like his relationship with his children were holding on by a thread. Because I'm not very verbal, he always wondered how I felt inside and whether or not we actually recognize or appreciate all the work he does. He said... because he's been living apart from us for so long, sometimes he feels like we are on two separate islands – us against him. My writing was the first time he was able to gain confirmation and be affirmed on the impact his hard work and love had on us.
Writing is a vessel and a bridge – a very powerful one too. Writing doesn't always have to be shared, but you will know which ones you want others to read and which ones are better kept private. Similar to my assignment, there were a few book reviews that I was beyond excited to share. I knew from the moment I finished writing them that I wanted it to be out there and I wanted people to read them (their choice, of course). There were a few reviews where I pestered my brother and mom to read – no choice given because they're family. I did this because I wanted to let them inside my head. I wanted them to know more about me and what I was thinking without explicitly telling them. I wanted to give them insight into my life. And to sum it all up, this is the whole purpose of writing. It is to share meaningful messages.