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Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To
Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To is a collection of short dark fiction from horrorcore author Jonathan Moon. Featuring 17 journeys into grim nightmares and technicolor madness that will have you mutilating your mind with macabre glee. Includes fan favorites The Amputee Disco and The Lord of the Groove, Conversing Doctor DeFeo, The Self Mutilation Blues, as well as many more brutally entertaining stories from the morbid Mr. MoOn.
- GenresHorrorBizarro Fiction
226 pages, Paperback
First published March 21, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
July 25, 2012
In the introduction to this collection of short stories, Jason Wuchenich refers to Jonathan Moon’s writing as “bizarro-silly-gore.” That’s a decent enough term, as each tale involves at least one of those, and sometimes all three. Moon’s stories involve grotesquery painted by the kind of phenomenal writing that just won’t let you look away.
“Everyone gets their chance to pass the tangled wreckage. One eye on the road and one on disaster.”
The collection contains flash fiction, zombies, and straight-up horror. The standouts (with some indication of the ingredients-- Bizarro, Silliness, and/or Gore):
Poisoned Meat (G): A tale of life in zombieland
Roadside Crosses (BsG): Wade is dead and Susan isn’t. And Wade is determined to do something about it.
Conversing Doctor DeFeo (BG): A fantastically written horror tale with some zombieness
Corpse Eater (bG): Marty learns the truth about the county morgue
All That Glimmers Isn’t Copper (G): The best tale in the collection. You could put this story in any collection of Stephen King’s, and it would feel right at home.
So Proudly They Crawl (BG): A conglomeration of zombies, Nazis, and mayhem!
“Everyone gets their chance to pass the tangled wreckage. One eye on the road and one on disaster.”
The collection contains flash fiction, zombies, and straight-up horror. The standouts (with some indication of the ingredients-- Bizarro, Silliness, and/or Gore):
Poisoned Meat (G): A tale of life in zombieland
Roadside Crosses (BsG): Wade is dead and Susan isn’t. And Wade is determined to do something about it.
Conversing Doctor DeFeo (BG): A fantastically written horror tale with some zombieness
Corpse Eater (bG): Marty learns the truth about the county morgue
All That Glimmers Isn’t Copper (G): The best tale in the collection. You could put this story in any collection of Stephen King’s, and it would feel right at home.
So Proudly They Crawl (BG): A conglomeration of zombies, Nazis, and mayhem!
August 16, 2019
I like it when a book surprises me. Jonathan Moon's Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To did just that. I'd heard about Moon before and knew his fiction was good, but no one had said anything about the man's knack for mixing together fun, poetic language, bizarro, and hardcore horror. This collection of 17 tales packs a bit of everything in what can only be called a celebration of weird horror and smart prose.
You can read Gabino's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.
You can read Gabino's full review at Horror DNA by clicking here.
December 17, 2014
Moon captures ghosts. There is a haunting, vivid imagery in his work, somehow familiar and alien. I didn't know what I was getting into this book, only being briefly exposed to one of his works that was more on the comedic side. The first two stories dissolved that impression. The rest of the book was something ethereal and poetic. There is horror here, but not the corny stuff we've come to expect in the genre.
Very, very nice and very different. 5 stars easy. Great change of pace for me.
Very, very nice and very different. 5 stars easy. Great change of pace for me.
September 8, 2012
Stories to Poke Your Eyes Out to is like a trip through a mind on LSD. Surreal, sometimes gruesome and always over the top, this anthology is appropriately titled. I mean that in a good way. The descriptive writing was phenomenal and the stories were unlike anything I have ever read. Recommended for any hardcore horror fan.
January 13, 2014
Creative, funny, unforgiving bizarre fiction
great little collection of stories. I adore his expansive use of words, almost poetic at times amid the extreme context of the stories.
great little collection of stories. I adore his expansive use of words, almost poetic at times amid the extreme context of the stories.
May 28, 2014
What to say about Mr. Moon's anthology? Perhaps the man himself said it best in the inscription at the front of my copy "Welcome to my NEON DARKNESS!"
There are stories aplenty inside, each twisted in a way only a sick mind can fathom, let alone create. But in such a good way you want to read the next macabre tale even as you finish the one you've just read. If for no other reason than to see where the madness takes Mr. Moon next.
Each story seems to have layers of meaning just beneath the skin that's about to be torn off. But try not to think about it too hard. Remember, this cat is just a madman.
There are stories aplenty inside, each twisted in a way only a sick mind can fathom, let alone create. But in such a good way you want to read the next macabre tale even as you finish the one you've just read. If for no other reason than to see where the madness takes Mr. Moon next.
Each story seems to have layers of meaning just beneath the skin that's about to be torn off. But try not to think about it too hard. Remember, this cat is just a madman.
December 13, 2021
Jonathan Moon's Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To is one of the most varied collections I've read in some time. It mixes traditional, Stephen King-inspired horror with splatterpunk, comedy, and straight-up demented surrealism. It has a lot of good, some bad, and a healthy amount of downright ugly qualities that prevent it from getting five stars.
THE GOOD:
With a genre like this, there's not a ton of really popular authors exploring such extremities. Aron Beauregard and Daniel J Volpe are some authors attempting it, but it's mostly uncharted territory that has a very DIY feel. It's unique. Take a story like "So Proudly They Crawl," which centers around a neo-nazi cult called Hitler's Hammer creating supersoldiers and horrific mutants to create the final reich, combing a crime thriller subplot with a sci-fi horror element that is almost reminiscent of “Frankenstein's Army.” It's super creative in moments like these. Other stories, such as "The Self Mutilation Blues'' are short, almost musical pieces that serve as disturbing interludes in the circus of horror. "All That Glimmers Isn't Gold" is another that stuck with me: it focuses on a prison that was built in the late 1700s where the darkest, deepest corner of the prison is basically a renovated cave. One of the cells in this block has a crack in the wall in which one can see the wildest treasures imaginable, creating obsessive thoughts and destructive behaviors in the prisoners who see it: very H.P. Lovecraft in spirit. "The Amputee Disco and The Lord Of The Groove" is body horror, otherworldly adventure through a club focused on dancing and self-mutilation. Other cuts, such as "MC Stitches," "Corpse Eater," "Conversing Doctor DeFeo," and "Roadside Crosses" combine a slew of influences from B movies, found footage movies, and abusive relationships to create some really unique pieces of work. You have to be ready to experience some absolutely wild concepts to truly appreciate this collection
THE BAD: There are a couple of stories that just plain miss the mark. "Real Love Burns'' and "The Devil's Bath Shack" dip pretty far into nonsensical absurdism. I viewed them as a part of a trilogy that focused on a girl named January, but the excessive use of metaphors, discussion of demons, cannibalism, vultures, and talking dogs was outright insane to the point where it felt like I was reading a parody of surrealism. These two stories in particular stuck out to me as something that felt like they praised being outlandish for the sake of being outlandish. I'm probably missing something from Moon's work here so some author's notes would have helped, but they were absurd and descriptive in a dry, emotionless way that left me feeling like I wasn't experiencing any kind of stakes to the whole thing. "Bone Home '' was incredibly interesting in its premise, with a narrator giving a second-person tour of a house, but it quickly devolved into Wattpad-level cheesiness. Speaking of metaphors, a recurring problem I noticed was that the metaphors were often so dense, it was easy to get overwhelmed and lost in them, often muddying the real concept of the stories, which as I mentioned previously, are quite often genius and extremely memorable.
THE DOWNRIGHT UGLY: Knives don't sharpen underwater from erosion. Not a big deal, but I found it super frustrating and I lost my immersion. Call me nitpicky. “Human As A Vulture'' is a one-page long story; it's listed in the table of contents, but not on the back of the book. Conversely, “The Amputee Disco” is on the back of the book, but not the table of contents. Why? Who knows? Finally, the editing is... weird. Some words are missing or misspelled, which I can usually sort of move past in self-published works, but something I noticed is that the spacing between words seemed like it was computer-generated/way too much on some pages and some strings of words were combined into one long word. Stylistic choice? editing mishap? I guess if you have to ask, it might not be a good thing.
All of these things being said, Jonathan Moon is a fascinating writer and I have a heavy urge to read his other work. The more brilliant sections have turned me into a definite fan and I know I'll be sharing pieces from this with friends and family for some time. I recommend it. Is it perfect? no, but if it ain't one of the most interesting reads.
THE GOOD:
With a genre like this, there's not a ton of really popular authors exploring such extremities. Aron Beauregard and Daniel J Volpe are some authors attempting it, but it's mostly uncharted territory that has a very DIY feel. It's unique. Take a story like "So Proudly They Crawl," which centers around a neo-nazi cult called Hitler's Hammer creating supersoldiers and horrific mutants to create the final reich, combing a crime thriller subplot with a sci-fi horror element that is almost reminiscent of “Frankenstein's Army.” It's super creative in moments like these. Other stories, such as "The Self Mutilation Blues'' are short, almost musical pieces that serve as disturbing interludes in the circus of horror. "All That Glimmers Isn't Gold" is another that stuck with me: it focuses on a prison that was built in the late 1700s where the darkest, deepest corner of the prison is basically a renovated cave. One of the cells in this block has a crack in the wall in which one can see the wildest treasures imaginable, creating obsessive thoughts and destructive behaviors in the prisoners who see it: very H.P. Lovecraft in spirit. "The Amputee Disco and The Lord Of The Groove" is body horror, otherworldly adventure through a club focused on dancing and self-mutilation. Other cuts, such as "MC Stitches," "Corpse Eater," "Conversing Doctor DeFeo," and "Roadside Crosses" combine a slew of influences from B movies, found footage movies, and abusive relationships to create some really unique pieces of work. You have to be ready to experience some absolutely wild concepts to truly appreciate this collection
THE BAD: There are a couple of stories that just plain miss the mark. "Real Love Burns'' and "The Devil's Bath Shack" dip pretty far into nonsensical absurdism. I viewed them as a part of a trilogy that focused on a girl named January, but the excessive use of metaphors, discussion of demons, cannibalism, vultures, and talking dogs was outright insane to the point where it felt like I was reading a parody of surrealism. These two stories in particular stuck out to me as something that felt like they praised being outlandish for the sake of being outlandish. I'm probably missing something from Moon's work here so some author's notes would have helped, but they were absurd and descriptive in a dry, emotionless way that left me feeling like I wasn't experiencing any kind of stakes to the whole thing. "Bone Home '' was incredibly interesting in its premise, with a narrator giving a second-person tour of a house, but it quickly devolved into Wattpad-level cheesiness. Speaking of metaphors, a recurring problem I noticed was that the metaphors were often so dense, it was easy to get overwhelmed and lost in them, often muddying the real concept of the stories, which as I mentioned previously, are quite often genius and extremely memorable.
THE DOWNRIGHT UGLY: Knives don't sharpen underwater from erosion. Not a big deal, but I found it super frustrating and I lost my immersion. Call me nitpicky. “Human As A Vulture'' is a one-page long story; it's listed in the table of contents, but not on the back of the book. Conversely, “The Amputee Disco” is on the back of the book, but not the table of contents. Why? Who knows? Finally, the editing is... weird. Some words are missing or misspelled, which I can usually sort of move past in self-published works, but something I noticed is that the spacing between words seemed like it was computer-generated/way too much on some pages and some strings of words were combined into one long word. Stylistic choice? editing mishap? I guess if you have to ask, it might not be a good thing.
All of these things being said, Jonathan Moon is a fascinating writer and I have a heavy urge to read his other work. The more brilliant sections have turned me into a definite fan and I know I'll be sharing pieces from this with friends and family for some time. I recommend it. Is it perfect? no, but if it ain't one of the most interesting reads.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews