Wedding Song: Memoirs of an Iranian Jewish Woman

by Farideh Goldin

Farideh Goldin was born to her fifteen-year-old mother in 1953 and into a Jewish community living in an increasingly hostile Islamic state―prerevolutionary Iran. This memoir is Goldin’s passionate and painful account of her childhood in a poor Jewish household and her emigration to the United States in 1975. As she recalls trips to the market and the mikvah, and as she evokes ritual celebrations like weddings, Goldin chronicles her childhood, her extended family, and the lives of the women in her community in Shiraz, a southern Iranian city. Her memoir details her parents’ "courtship" (her father selected her mother from a group of adolescent girls), her mother’s lonely life as a child-bride, and Goldin’s childhood home which was presided over by her paternal grandmother. Goldin’s memoir conveys not just the personal trauma of growing up in a family fraught with discord but also the tragic human costs of religious dogmatism. In Goldin’s experience, Jewish fundamentalism was intensified by an Islamic context. Although the Muslims were antagonistic to Jews, their views on women’s roles and their treatment of women influenced the attitude and practices of some Iranian Jews. In this brave and dispassionate portrayal of a little-known corner of Jewish life, Farideh Goldin confronts profound sadness yet captures the joys of a child’s wonder as she savors the scenes and textures and scents of Jewish Iran. Readers share her youthful adventures and dangers, coming to understand how such experiences shape her choice.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Jewish, Iran, Biography, Biography Memoir, Middle East

220 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Farideh Goldin is the author of Wedding Song: Memoirs of an Iranian Jewish Woman. Farideh was born in 1953 in Shiraz, Iran, to a family of dayanim, judges and leaders of the Jewish community. Farideh's family moved out of the mahaleh, the Jewish ghetto, to a Moslem neighborhood when she was eight years old. There, she experienced both friendship and anti-Semitism. Later, attending an American-style university in Iran, she was torn between her loyalty to her family, who obeyed strict social, cultural and religious mores, and her western education that promoted individualism and self-reliance. Wedding Song reveals Farideh's struggle in balancing her two worlds. In her later essays, she confronts issues of identity as she searches for a place in American society as an Iranian immigrant.

Farideh met her husband shortly after her arrival in the U.S. After their three daughters were older, she returned to school to earn her graduate degree in Humanities and a certificate in Women's Studies in 1976 from Old Dominion University. A few years later, Farideh enrolled at the Creative Writing program to pursue her love of writing. She received her MFA in 1995. In addition to her own stories which have been widely published, Farideh has shared her knowledge of Iranian Jews, Iranian Jewish life under Islam, Iranian Jewish women, their lives and literature with audiences in the U.S. and abroad.

Reviews

[Afsaneh Hojabri · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is a story of growing up (as a Jewish woman) in a Jewish-ghetto in Shiraz during the 50s, 60s and 70s in a super traditional family and in an utterly anti-Semitic society. It is almost a book of doom and gloom as Golden describes the most backward practices and attitudes, especially towards woman both in her family and within the society. Her depiction of an almost exclusively hostile society towards religious minorities likewise suffers exaggeration. While I do sympathize with Golden at many levels, the moods she creates and the stories she tells are beyond my recognition, although I too have lived in the same city around the same time.

[Amir · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was just awesome, perhaps more for personal reasons. I was born in the same city that this writer was and her memories did ring a bell, although I was raised in the dominant Islamic culture, and for that reason too it was fun to read about the then mysterious lives of Jews who lives in our city. I enjoyed reading it more than anything I've read in recent years, although there were some minor inaccuracies here and there (Khomeini's birth place is not Qum, etc.) The hardships of Farideh's childhood were heart-wrenching and I'm sure glad for the happy-ending of her story.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a story of growing up in a Jewish-ghetto in Shiraz during the mid 50's in a super traditional Jewish family.
Goldin describes a very hostile society against religious minorities in so much exaggeration during Shah's reign, which is not comparable with the hostile way of Islamic Republic society against religious minorities.

[Laurisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Far from an uplifting story, but the author's ability to overcome is inspiring.

[Patti Procopi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a shocking story about the treatment of women in the Middle East. It is also an eye-opening look into the Jewish culture as a minority in a Moslem society. I met Farideh at a talk at the Newport News library and wanted to read her book after listening to her. This is not an easy book to read. It is disturbing and dark. Thankfully Farideh was able to escape her past, get educated (instead of being forced to marry at fifteen) and move to the United States. Grim but a must read. Reminded me a bit of "Educated" another book about a young woman trying to move on from her upbringing.

[Peggy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir. I had no idea what it was like for Jews to live in Iran in the 50's and 60's, especially Jewish women. The author did an excellent job describing her life and feelings during this time.

[Ann Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

To understand ourselves we examine the lives of those who shaped us. This book, at times, is stark with truth which is painful to read. However, there is a compassion for the histories of the writer's parents and grandparents. I would like to read more stories by the author.

[Ejayen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a nice story, but we need to remember the bad as well as the good.

[Erin Althouse · Rating 3 out of 5]

Straight upsetting read. But if she could live it then I can read it

[Karen Bograd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting story about life as a Jewish Iranian. Full of the typical male dominated, female not worth anything lines. Which I know is the story about life at that time, but is depressing and so sad that so many girls had to suffer through their lives. Being given away as brides (before their first period), their test to see if they made a good bride was to pluck chickens, clean and wash, and serve food. They had no real say so in what they did, who they saw, etc. Unfortunately, many girls still live like this today.

[Unwisely · Rating 3 out of 5]

A memoir of growing up Jewish and female in pre-revolutionary Iran. It sounds pretty terrible - constricted, sexist, girls married off before they finished high school. She manages to break free of the chains of history and family and get out, which seems prescient given what we now know.

It's possibly not a universal experience, but I sure wouldn't want to try it to see if I could do better.

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really complicated my understanding of ethnicity, religion, and politics in the Middle East. By sharing her personal and painful experiences with sexism and Antisemitism in Iran, Goldin made me question some of my preconceived notions of the role politics and religion figured in Iran during this time.

[Susie Krause · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book made me very happy to be a woman in the USA! This author is my age and it was amazing how different our childhoods were. Women in America have no idea how lucky we are and ignorant of the how the women in other countries are still to this day treated. A must read for ALL women to learn or be reminded of how far we've come to equality and how far we still have to go.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Faridah's depiction of her life is poetic, tragic, and triumphant all at the same time. A rare glimpse into the lives of Iranian Jews.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

not a fun read, very depressing. she is a great writer though and I feel this book is worth the read to people interested in Jewish life in Iran prior to the Islamic Revolution of 1979

[Dchcm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another amazing book about women's issues in the Middle East