The ACOA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships

by Tian Dayton

Growing up in a home where there is addiction or relationship trauma puts a child at great risk for long-term, post-traumatic stress effects that adversely compromise adult relationships. Bestselling author, psychologist, and psychodramatist Tian Dayton examines this trauma through an exploration of the way the brain and body process frightening or painful emotions and experiences in childhood, and she shows how these traumas can become catalysts for unhealthy, self-medicating behaviors including drug and alcohol abuse, food issues, and sex, gambling, and shopping addictions.

Through Dr. Dayton's insightful analysis and thoughtful examination, Adult Children of Alcoholics will learn how and why the pain they experienced in childhood plays out in their adult partnering and parenting, and they will learn how to restore health and happiness through their resilience.

 

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Counselling, Addiction

320 pages, Paperback

First published September 3, 2012

About the author

Tian Dayton has a masters in educational psychology and a PhD in clinical psychology and is a board certified trainer in psychodrama, sociometry and group psychotherapy. She is a certified Montessori teacher. Dr. Dayton is the director of The New York Psychodrama Training Institute. She is a nationally renowned speaker, expert, and consultant in psychodrama, trauma and addiction, ACoAs and self help related issues. Dr, Dayton was on the faculty at NYU for eight years teaching psychodrama. Dr. Dayton is a fellow of the American Society of Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy ASGPP, winner of their scholar’s award, editor in chief of the Journal of Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy and sits on the professional standards committee. She is also the winner of The Mona Mansell Award and The Ackermann Black Awaard. Dr. Dayton has been a guest expert on NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Montel, Rikki Lake, John Walsh, Geraldo. Tian blogs for Counselor Magazine, Recovery View and The Huffington Post

From the author's website.

Reviews

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I randomly came across this book at Barnes and Noble recently. As a therapist whom mainly works with clients needing help with trauma, addiction, and recovery (including those who grew up in a family atmosphere of addiction), I always like to find more books on these topics in order to gain a more in depth understanding of the emotional dynamics at play and how to use these dynamics as tools for my clients' healing in therapy. I highly recommend this book for both clinicians and as a self-help book for those this book is particularly intended for....adult survivors of relationship trauma/addiction. This book is written clearly and concisely. The content is easy to understand if you have a basic comprehension of psychology and addiction.

[Deedra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this very informative.Growing up with both an alcoholic father and a narcissistic mother,it gave me some insights. Elizabeth Hanely was a fine narrator.

[Evil Secret Ninja · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a breath of fresh air. Many of the therapy related books I have read lately have been such a let down. This one spoke to me not just on professional level but on a personal level. I understand many of the mistakes made in my life in a different way helps understand why I have done some of the things I have done in my past. Should provide useful things for the future as well.

[Travis · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's like she was living with us!
She pretty much describes my childhood. This was affirming and educational. I learned about Both of my parents, not just the addict. 5 Stars... I have been looking for solid answers as to, "Why am I this way?" for so many years. I couldn't even describe it to other professionals, and other professionals could never really tell me why. They could generally treat me, based on my symptoms, but as to the WHY, it was hard to say. This is it, and there are more like me, many more, too many!
PTSD and ACoA. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from being a child of an alcoholic, now an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. Very real effects from being a victim in a helpless situation.
If you want to know what it's like to be in this situation, this is the definitive guide.
If you want encouragement, affirmation, and guidance, she's got some direction to point you toward.
Here's some Hard Truth I've had to swallow, not really just from her, but also from other practitioners... Forgiveness and Healing could, and will likely, be a lifetime practice.
Lord, give me the strength.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book for Children of Alcoholics and Grandchildren of Alcoholics that is a little more up to date than many other books on the topic. Lots of good insights and thoughts on therapy and self help ideas for learning how to live with it all.

[Jenny Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provided me with so much insight I never considered. it opened the doors to some pretty intense healing, and made me feel like I was not alone or crazy. Fantastic for anyone looking to get a handle on something in their childhood that affected them.

[Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must Read

Couldn’t put this down. The most helpful book there is - the most helpful book I’ve ever read. Truly can’t thank Dr. Dayton enough. It’s so clear she has a mastery on not only children of alcoholics, but also on psychology at large and how the parent / child dynamic grows and works. I’m so glad I read this before having kids.

[Cynthia Stauffer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chapters 16 and 17 were particularly good.

[Trevor · Rating 4 out of 5]

A clear account of the experience of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA): what happened, what to expect, and what to do about it. Great links to PTSD supported by research.

[Ashley Sekal · Rating 4 out of 5]

🙃

[Sumanth Ƀharadwaj · Rating 5 out of 5]

healed

[Fiona Brichaut · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished listening to the audio version and as soon as it finished went right back to the start to listen again. I've never done this before, but this book was so packed with interesting insights that I want to read it all over again. I've read books on ACOA and books about PTSD but this is both better than any of the others I've read on those topics, and the first one that has brought those two subjects together. Some of the ways that I project past experiences onto life situations today became very clear to me reading this. highly recommended.

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had no idea what this syndrome was until I started doing some research for a friend. This book helps to explain how real childhood stress of painful adulthood relationships affect a child's mental development.

Sometimes repetitive, this book breaks down how the imbalance of roles and responsibilities shift when alcoholism, addiction or even sexual abuse are present.

Some abuse examples here are tough to read and may bring up some intense emotions.

Interesting read.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very informative book identifying the long-lasting effects of early childhood trauma - especially the effects on the formative brain. I found it quite confronting; must go back for a second read when I am in the right mindset as can be triggering in parts.

[Timothy Lambrecht · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful in the process of getting to understand myself. This is the first time that someone said to me 'it is OK to not feel OK' in a way that I can accept it. It disarmed me and I needed disarming, without knowing it.

[Amy Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very informative book, but some areas were a little hard to follow. All in all though it taught me a lot about the ACOA and trauma. I would recommend it to others.

[Glitter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good for spouses.

[Any Length · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got a lot of helpful information from this book. And have bought a lot more books by this author.