The Assertive Woman

by Stanlee Phelps, Nancy Austin

New, completely revised and updated edition of one of the most powerful self-help books ever. The Assertive Woman is the original assertiveness book for women, first published in 1975 and updated through four editions, with new material on personal relationships, assertiveness in the workplace, sexual harassment, domestic violence, and more. This outstanding resource for women is packed with personal vignettes, exercises, step-by-step procedures, and tips on expressing yourself with co-workers, lovers, family, friends, and strangers. The Assertive Woman debunks the tired old myths and stereotypes of women bosses, stay-at-home moms, and “bully broads,” and superwomen, and presents a refreshing, positive alternative. Written in an easy-to-read, upbeat, motivational style, with warm, personal, and practical guidance for every woman who wants to improve herself, restore balance, say no and draw the line with confidence, make the right choices, and face up to new challenges and changes in her life.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Feminism

256 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1976

Reviews

[Dee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for all young women. I read this when I was in my early 20s and it helped me in my personal and professional relationships tremendously. Being assertive doesn't always come easy to young women, especially for those who, like me, come from conservative cultures and very religious families.

The situations in the book may sound a little dated, but the fact is that a lot of the sexist behaviors described in it still run rampant today. I see it all the time at my place of employment. Having read this book opened up my awareness to the fact that it is perfectly okay to voice my opinions and to say NO when something isn't fair- and I don't mean just sexual harassment. I mean when it comes to things like being asked to make coffee or take notes at a meeting because of my gender.

If I had a daughter I would certainly make sure she got a copy of this and read it in her teens.

[Crina Bucur · Rating 3 out of 5]

The content is obviously outdated and most of the things are pretty standard, common knowledge, but there are some worthy ideas nonetheless. As much as I loathe the American and feminist biases, as well as the over-simplistic and implausible examples all too common in personal development books, I found this one to have an almost acceptable number of them. Certain topics, such as raising and educating independent and strong children while also establishing authority in a positive and confident manner, were particularly spot on.

That being said, I prefer the original title - "assertive" as opposed to its Romanian translation which assumes an underprivileged baseline position to begin with.

[Rosetta Benton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought it was interesting and useful. It is a good place to start for learning more about assertiveness.

[Lucy · Rating 3 out of 5]

My therapist recommended this book to me, with the caveat that it's pretty dated. She wasn't wrong. After sifting through a lot of dated cultural references (like how Barbara Streisand is an example of a "hardy spirit"), I found some valuable tidbits and exercises about how to practice assertive communication in love and sex, and saying no. If you don't have children, skip the "Assertive Family Relationships." All in all a decent read but I know there has to be a more modern version of this type of book that I might have enjoyed a bit more. It was homework from my therapist after all, so maybe I wasn't meant to enjoy it, but to work on it? See for yourself I suppose.

[J Crossley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got a lot out of this book. The focus is on becoming assertive from the inside-out. the section on compassion was helpful because I tend to let that get in the way of expressing my needs. You have to empower yourself to be assertive. There are chapters on manipulation, saying ‘no,’ and dealing with inner anger.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dorie Doormat, Agatha Aggressive, Iris Indirect

[Heather]

Just trying to learn something...

[Stacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The copy I have is a paperback, seventh printing, April 1978 and belonged to my grandma. :)

[Elena Cata · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an interesting book to read. It will be more useful for the younger women or for the ones who stayed too long in the shadow

[Nora S.]

it is a great book