Every Womans Marriage will give you practical tools and wise biblical counsel for transforming a listless marriage into a vibrant, exciting relationship. Get ready to set your husbands heart ablaze!
Shannon is a million-copy best-selling author, speaker, lay counselor, and advocate for healthy sexuality with a master’s degree in counseling/human relations from Liberty University. She has spoken to youth, college students, and adults since 1989 and her passions include:
* Challenging adults and teens to embrace a life of sexual integrity * Encouraging married couples in their pursuit of sexual fulfillment * Counseling women who have looked for love in all the wrong places * Equipping parents to instill sexual values in children at an early age
Her passion for healthy sexuality was ignited as a result of her own painful experiences. After being sexually abused by uncles during puberty and surviving many painful years as a promiscuous teenager, Shannon sought to overcome her past and become the faithful wife she desperately wanted to be. Six months of individual and group counseling gave Shannon the confidence to declare her graduation from the school of hard knocks, and she began speaking boldly and bluntly about the benefits of sexual integrity and sexual intimacy within marriage. She has since taught and counseled thousands of teens, single adults, and married couples over the past decade. Shannon is the Gold-Medallion Award-winning author of 18 books, including the best-selling Every Woman’s Battle series (WaterBrook Press, 2003-2006) which has been printed in 11 different languages, the 5-book Loving Jesus Without Limits series (WaterBrook Press, 2007), and her new book for the mainstream market, The Sexually Confident Wife (Random House, September 2008).
Shannon has been featured on the cover of Today’s Christian Woman Magazine and is a frequent guest on such national radio & television shows as Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, Life Today with James & Betty Robison, FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey, and New Life Live! with Stephen Arterburn. She has also been published in magazines such as Focus on the Family, Brio, Christian Single, Discipleship Journal, LifeWay, and Enrichment Journal.
The first half of the book is one star, the last half three stars. It's too bad really because I think she does have some good points to make, but often it's buried under completely ridiculous statements - my favorite example being that masculinity is under attack in America! - and repeatedly quoting Dr. Laura. All in all, I felt like she was really writing to conservative, stay-at-home moms, which is great if that is who you are.
This book should have been called, "Shannon Ethridge's Marriage.". It's a memoir, of sorts, about her life as a young wife. I'm not sure why her husband's name is also listed, or why a man would even be claiming to co-write a book that supposedly describes how women experience marriage.
Ethridge describes the various troubles she and her husband had in their early years. She wanted a big, expensive house with all new furniture, he was stressed about money. She wanted to live in the suburbs, close to the mall. He wanted to live in the woods in a log cabin. She wanted him to have an aggressive personality because her conservative evangelical theology teaches that all men are aggressive and natural leaders. She was shocked to discover that yes, God gives some men passive personalities.
The whole book was really bland and nothing applied to me. I don't like shopping at all. I'm the frugal one and my husband tends to be the big spender. I didn't get married to have a man be my strong leader. I married to have a partner in life, we are equals, and we don't subscribe to a theology that states at men are one way and all women are another way.
She throws in the obligatory conservative evangelical warnings here and there. Don't gain weight, don't do anything that might rattle your husband's fragile sense of self worth (even though God made him to be a strong leader-- she can't see the contradiction). And at the end of the book is a VERY bizarre section of sex questions and answers. The questions are so basic that I can only imagine an extremely naive and uneducated person finding this section helpful. But, that is probably her audience, women who were raised in purity culture and taught next to nothing.
The book itself is not worth reading unless you have a lot in common with the author. The title is just plain bizarre because it discusses such specific issues that many married women will not experience.
Every marriage can become stale. This book shows you how to quit blaming everyone else and how to look inward and to God for solutions to your ho-hum marriage. Even if you think all is lost, this will help you to discover that the passion you seek may just be hiding in the bitterness and resentment that you can't get past. It helped me to realize that even if my husband and I don't agree, we know each other like no one else does. We have a committed/compassionate bond that can't be found by looking elsewhere. That spark that you have when you first start out develops into something much more wonderful if you let it. If you don't, you can join the many who get divorced searching for that spark every so often. The best part is that this is a short book and is easy to read, which is great when you have a toddler running around!
I love the series of books put out by Stephen Arterburn, Shannon Etheridge, Fred Stoeker, and others. They are really solid, straightforward books giving biblical insight into living a Christian life. I have implemented many of the suggestions they have into my own life; my life has been enriched and changed and the blessings have been many. Common everyday struggles are discussed and it sheds new light on the way I perceive certain situations. I am not married and not even dating but to staying informed is the best way we enrich our lives by recalling certain things, such as the wisdom from these books so that we may be able to avoid some of the heartache and pain that comes along with life, love, and relationships.
Great book. Quick read. Take away message is that you can only change yourself and can't expect your partner to meet all your emotional needs ( turn to God and friends for that). Highly recommended. Really enjoyed the anecdotal evidence about shannon and greg's marriage. The part about not letting pornography rob you of an intimate relationship with your spouse really hit home for me as well as not letting a few vanity pounds/other body image issues influence you letting your spouse see you naked.
I personally think this book is lame and i thought the couple was being stupid.C'mon,do you really need to read about their mistakes to learn not to do the same thing?One word : "Stupid!"
This book was recommended by a friend and I trusted her enough to give it a shot. At times it rubbed me wrong but then I had to realize that this was because I was holding on to my way and being right more than building my husband up and encouraging him. What a shift! Just remember when reading this, it is not a book to fix someone else. It is focused on changing you and helping you be a better wife.
I listened to the audiobook and the quotations below are my dictations.
On Feminism:
"...Now some women are pushing in the opposite direction [owing property, voting] resulting in women wanting pwoer over men. I've heard men refer to this bold breed of women as femi-nazis. These women promote... abortion...lesbianism...a general hatred for the male gender. Now many men are feeling how women did... somewhat cheated of their basic human rights to be respected in their homes and to be treated with dignity." (BOO-HOO).
"This grandiose self-centeredness about the value of women paired with the virtual disdain of men leads women to treat men badly. Too many women look at men with a sense of entitlement vs an opportunity for selflessness. Why? All those forces taken together have given woman A FALSE SENSE OF SUPERIORITY." WTF.
"In some circles, women are applauded for their courage to leave their husbands and children to discover 'who they really are' [audiobook narrator spoke this with extreme disdain] and to pursue their own dreams as if a successful marriage and strong family life aren't sufficient goals." Yeah how dare they leave abusive relationships.
"The decline of the masculine image in TV and movies has created an undercurrent, a disrespect in discord in many homes." LMAO
She literally gives a bunch of statistics on wives who are killed by their husbands and then immediately says: "Let's face it: men and masculinity are under attack." WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK, LADY.
"Also, each time you pray for god to pray something in your husband, ask him to change three things in you." Ya right.
Chapter 4:
"Marriage offers us an incredible opportunity to be made more holy, more christ-like."
Chapter 8:
"A husband needs a cheerleader to support him not just in his on-the-clock responsibilities but also in his off-the-clock passions." Make his hobbies your hobbies and priorities.
Chapter 10:
"We are following in Eve's footsteps when we seek control rather than submissiveness. When we seek control, sometimes we create the exact behavior in our husbands that we abhor." Blech.
Mutually submit to each other and work together as a team toward a common goal. Ephesians 5 verses 21-25. "And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the lord for a husband is the head of his wife as christ is the head of his body the church. He gave his wife to be her savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything and you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church." Both husband and wife are supposed to submit to each other? Some women might feel bitter that their husbands don't love them like their Christ loves the church? "This isn't a book on how to change your husband, it's a book on how a woman can change her way of relating to her husband so that he will respond the way she longs for him to." Dafuq??
"Remember, just because a wife thinks of the idea or initiates [devotionals] more often doesn't mean she's the spiritual leader. It simply means she's a great help-mate."
"There's a reason why scripture says, a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day." Ie, don't be a nag.
Chapter 11
The author's husband: "What attracted me most was that she was happy whenever I was around and unhappy when I had to be apart. Her smile made me feel really great about myself and my ability to make a woman like her happy." Smile more, ladies!
The husband again: "Everyone wants to be in the presence of someone who makes them feel good about themselves." Then he says when she was depressed, "I struggled to feel good about myself." Yikes. Make it all about you why don't you?
"When your husband looks at your face... does he see a smile or a scowl... tenderness in your eyes or distance and disillusionment... Based on what he sees, how do you think he feels about himself?" Soooo, don't every look sad or depressed because it'll make your husband feel bad about himself??
Chapter 12
"If you want to ignite your husband's joy and passion for you, you'll carefully consider your words to ensure that they communicate acceptance and respect." Ask him what words he doesn't like you to use and don't ever use them again.
Chapter 13
Puts her cats outside because of their cat hair "during the heavy shedding months of April through September." You f*ck*ng *sshole.
Chapter 16
"God designed men to be this way [men who'd so deeply desire frequent and passionate sexual encounters] and we cannot call unholy that which god has created and called good." Basically, because all men are like the man that god created, boys will be boys??
"Many women tell me that they love their husband and even enjoy an occasional orgasm [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] but when their husbands try to initiate sex, these wives are often not at all interested. [Gee I wonder why] Some have confessed they wish sex wasn't a requirement in marriage. If you've had similar thoughts, let me remind you that god created women as well as men to be sexual beings."
"A man can take a sexual rejection very personally. It feels as if she's not just saying no to sex, but no to him, to his love, his attention, affection, and desire for connection with her." So do it even if you don't want to because you don't want your giant baby of a husband who rarely makes you orgasm feel bad.
"Make personal hygiene a part of your daily routine. Regular use of... summer's eve feminine wash... will give you the confidence to engage in spontaneous sexual play any time either of you is feeling frisky." JFC.
The husband: "I'm so thankful that my wife dresses modestly in public because I don't want other men gawking at her but I'm also thankful she's not inhibited at all in the privacy of our bedroom." The wife: "Find out what kind of attire arouses him the most then let him catch you in it" but just don't let it be "slutty" clothing or lingerie.
Chapter 17
On emotional affairs and how she almost had an affair with someone. "There is a powerful connection between spirituality and sexuality. No wonder it's a theme in many books and movies such as Thorn Birds and Scarlet Letter where there is a strong spiritual connection, a strong emotional bond quickly forms and that leads to sexual passion which is why the only man with whom you should seek a deep spiritual and emotional connection is your husband. God designed marriage to be a place where a couple can be naked and feel no shame and I believe his intention wasn't just for physical nakedness but for spiritual and emotional nakedness as well."
"Many couples falsely assume that sex is a means of closeness and intimacy but the physical connection in marriage should be a response to an even deeper level of intimacy: spiritual and emotional intimacy. When a woman inspires spiritual and emotional intimacy in her husband, she'll be an even more eager sex partner."
"Sexual intimacy is God's idea, it's not dirty or worldly. Sexual intimacy according to god's design is the most powerful that two humans can connect with each other. When husband and wife come together and become one through sexual intimacy in the presence of god they are reflecting the nature of the trinity. When couples view sex as sacred it can become a wonderful act of worship."
"However if the combination of all those things [having a job and hobbies] causes you to have no energy for sexual intimacy with your husband, you're too busy."
"A wife is the only human on the planet whom god has ordained to satisfy her husband's sexual needs. What a unique opportunity we have been given to administer to our husbands in such a powerful way."
"If your husband isn't aware of the intricacies of female anatomy, don't fault him. Many women don't even know their own bodies." YIKES.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This book was timely for me. It describes the different types of relationships we women can have with our husbands. For instance, the sugar daddy relationship would be if you play the spoiled child to get what you want from your husband. The best part of the book is how it clearly teaches how a wife can build up her husband, without using resentment or becoming bitter through the trials of life and marriage. The only thing lacking for me was the use of more scripture, even though the Bible is quoted and principles from it are used. I also disagreed with some of the advice in its "questions and answers" section at the back. Otherwise, it was a great read.
Virkelig en spændende bog. Uanset om du allerede er gift eller engang gerne vil giftes så sætter den virkelig nogle tanker igang om det at opbygge et godt forhold sammen og skabe et balanceret liv der hviler på både det åndelige, mentale, fysiske og følelsesmæssige i jeres forhold, og vigtigst af alt bygget på Guds mening og hensigt med ægteskabet. Hun skriver inspirerende om de problemer der kan opstå, som hun illustrere både set fra kvindens men også mandens side, og sidst men ikke mindst inspirerer hun til hvordan du "tænder flammen i din mands hjerte".
Amazing book! It really puts things in perspective. 'How to set your husbands heart ablaze'. Loved it!
I always like to read books that can improve me as a person, whether that be me as a mom, me as a wife, or otherwise. This is a great Christian-based marriage/relationship book. I think there's too much finger-pointing and blame in marriages these days. I really like how she encourages her readers (presumably mostly women) to take responsibility for what they are doing wrong and to work with God and their spouse to fix it. I honestly liked most of what she said, and agreed with a lot of her advice. Great book. There is also a workbook at the end, which I didn't read, but I'm sure the exercises would be helpful for many.
I really enjoyed this book, it gave me a lot to think about. Ethridge has a lot of good insights about what a christian marriage should look like and I think a person looking to change their marriage relationship for the better starting with herself, is going to find a lot great information to work with. And even a glimpse of how the male gender thinks. Ethridge doesn't sit on some high horse of 'holier than thou' attitude, she's been there. I found her personal stories refreshing and very relateable. Would definitley recommend it.
Listened to the audiobook during a road trip. Thought this was so-so. Some repeated material from Every Woman's Battle. I got hung up on some really trite phrases ("don't pack on the pounds, ladies"; "don't let yourselves go!"). Overall the message was good, but I felt it lacked enough scriptural backing. There were entire chapters that were purely anecdotal or the opinion of the author. Give me more scripture, please!
Every marriage is different, but the author shares wonderful insights into her own marriage that can easily be applied to other situations. While reading this, I learned a lot about how to show more respect for my husband in the small ways, not just the big ones. I feel this book has definitely improved my already wonderful marriage!
Took me a long time to get through this one -- a bit too pollyanna for my tastes. It does come at the issues between couples with a "what can I do to change my marriage" attitude, rather than a "how can I change my husband" point of view, which is much healthier than many books out there, but it's still too sticky-sweet at times.
There is some good advice but I disagree with some too. A bit more religious than I am yet I enjoy hearing others opinions. I think I interpret things a bit differently. I did like many examples and hearing others stories. It actually made me feel like a pretty good wife after hearing some scenarios in the book.
A good book. Rather frank is some areas. Which is good as well.\nMy struggle with all of these marriage books I've read is that I dont' see how to practically apply the information in my life. Even when I think it's a great idea. Or maybe I'm just to afraid of rejection or failure to implement them.
I really loved this book. I would recommend it for anyone that is married or contemplating marriage. It really has changed my thinking and has made me focus on me and my own actions and words within my marriage.
Another book I received as a gift at my bridal shower. Now that I'm married, I perk up whenever people tell stories about their marriage or have words of wisdom about it.
This is a great book if you want to improve your marriage. When I feel like I need help with an issue I can always look back on this book for guidance that I trust.
EVERY Christian woman needs to read this. It is SO helpful and digs down deep into those hurtful issues that arise in marriage, and how to combat them.