Getting Past What You'll Never Get Over: Help for Dealing with Life's Hurts

by John F. Westfall

When hard times strike, we look forward with longing to the day when we will "get over" the event and have closure. This is a difficult--often impossible--road to travel. There are some things in life that we must learn to live with because they will never truly go away for good. Despite that truth, there is life--rewarding and abundant life--after heartache and pain.

John F. Westfall leads readers beyond their hurts and into a life of confidence, freedom, and secure joy. Sharing stories with wisdom, humor, and vulnerability, he shows how to move forward beyond fear, regret, guilt, anger, and bitterness into a life worth living.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Faith, Personal Development, Counselling, Religion

224 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2012

Reviews

[Rose Bud · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a disappointment. It doesn't seem inspired by the Holy Spirit at all. In fact He's never really mentioned at all. This seems to be an effort the author made in his own strength using psychiatric exercises to control anger and things like that. Grace is mentioned but not quite enough in my opinion. Getting past things we'll never get over takes a lot more than changing our thinking. We can't successfully change our thinking anyways. The Holy Spirit must renew our minds and transform us by the washing of the Word. We can get past what we can't get over with the grace of God.

Another issue I have with this author and his book is that he talks about his wife being brutally beaten by an armed robber in their home. She got out and none of her neighbors would let her in their homes. They ignored her. The author goes on and on about his personal issues which seem petty in the light of what his wife suffered. I would have much rather have read his wife's story of how she got past what she'll never get over. I'd like to hear how she coped and what got her through. She should have written this book instead of her husband.

[Rita · Rating 5 out of 5]

It really helped me through my ordeal in life. i learned a lot about things I'll never get over, but that I will be able to live with once I accept, forgive, stop and begin again.

[Travis · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The ABC's of Self Care" at the end of the book is the Capstone to this book. If you don't read anything else, get a copy just for that! It really seems to be the answer, or ties all the ends, to all the questions I was asking myself at the end of each chapter.
I really struggled with his seemingly miraculous cure for his life-long depression... rest, eat, medicate, therapy, all-better!
I will revisit the ABC's as my take-away notes. I've been doing some of these already, but would like to apply some more.
It does give me some hope that my goal resting for a season would restore what has been lost and help me to clarify and strengthen my faith in God and my future.

[Debra · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just another book with the initially hidden message, convert to Christianity & all your true problems will be solved

I'm tired of these books pretending to be genuinely therapeutic for issues like grief, or sense of loss, self discovery, or self-improvement... ways to be a better person to yourself & those around you, etc) only to find that the authors true mission isn't to offer practical or actual help or answers the reader might actually benefit from, but rather to push his/her true agenda, religious conversion.

[Faith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good light read. I think I was expecting it to be more scripturally based, and it is not. The author relates by his own experiences, heartaches, and truths. And some of those things, are hard to get over.

[Shar · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'll sum this 220+ book up in a sentence. Trust in God, forgive others, and get a different perspective on your issues.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me with an issue in my life - to realize that it's ok to never fully "get over" an awful hurt (in this instance - an abruptly ended close friendship) but that in time you can move past it. I do understand that there are many other instances of "hurt" that are much deeper than what I was going through (sickness, death, etc. etc) but this spoke to my heart during a tough time. I am a Christian, and I did like the fact that it touches on the love Jesus has for all of us - and as hard as it is to hear and put into practice, we need to forgive those that have caused us pain. Lots of highlights for me in this one!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me tremendously! It plucked out so many instances that I have been through and feelings I've had and still have and let me see that other people have the same things happen. It helps to know you are not alone and that sometimes life just sucks and sometimes you can do something that will ease your pain or angst. Excellent! I am buying this book!

[Vicki Lynn Seeck · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not worth reading

The title of this book has very little to do with its actual content. Rather than a thoughtful spiritually based discussion of approaching life and it’s difficulties, you get an incoherent collection of anecdotes and superficial information. I could not finish the book. It was that bad.

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not find this book to be helpful. It seems to be mostly a series of personal vignettes, with some sort of religious/spiritual spin, which I did not anticipate. I didn't find any coherent message or helpful advice and wound up skipping the last few chapters.

[Holly B · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first half of the book held my attention, but the second half was really busy. As if trying to pack as much information in as possible.

[Stanley Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational and entertaining!

[Jeff Smith]

After being hurt badly, I found some comfort here. A must for those having trouble moving on...

[Mary Belle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would say that much from this book were not really based on scriptures but this was still a good read. I just found myself getting hard to get through some chapters sometimes.

[Charlotte Falkner · Rating 1 out of 5]

Entirely too religious for me, but seems to be approachable otherwise.

[Laura M · Rating 3 out of 5]

A recommended read from a while back. A couple good “take aways” and a quick read.

[Laney Poye · Rating 4 out of 5]

I googled "good books for moving past trauma" and this is what I found - it was surprisingly insightful and especially timely for the reasons I needed it. It helped me process something that was blocking my chi or my soul or whatever you might call it when you can't get over your anger over someone else's behavior. It is written from a Christian perspective (which I like, but may not appeal to all), but it also is written from a CBT-informed perspective as well (which I also like).

At the end of the day, the only person whose behavior you can control is your own, but that's small comfort when others' behavior impacts your day-to-day existence and that of the people you love most. This book helped me unpackage some of that and put it up in a place where it needed to be, not taking up so much room in my psyche.

[Sherilyn Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very good book, and has helped me a lot. It's from the prospect of someone who has dealt with Depression himself, I finding that I listened to people that have been through a experience like this and have come through the other end. I rarely give a book 5 Stars. But this one totally deserves. I would highly recommend to anyone struggling with past hurt or issues.

[Susan Morton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this book was very interesting funny true and had a wide range of experiences to learn from and thought the book was brought across well inspired me loads and just made me feel good genrally

[Sharon K. Woolsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Getting Past What You'll Never Get Over

Helpful information about understanding there are things in our lives we never get over. To progress to acceptance we must quit reliving the hurt, emotion, etc. Before we can move on with life anew. A book worth reading for all.

[Denise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think it took me until halfway through...

I think it took me until halfway through the book before I started to feel like it was worth my time to finish it, probably because I was hoping for something that was more therapeutic.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few good tidbits but it took me forever to read this slender little paperback and that's always a sign. Not bad, just not enough. In the vein of advice being worth what you pay for it, I got my 50 cents worth.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much better than expected. Bible based without being preachy. There were some insightful takeaway's that I found worthwhile. Wish now I'd highlighted.

[Sheena · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book! Helpful, real tools to help you get past what you'll never get over --all while pointing to Christ.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure how this ended up on my Nook, but I don't like these types of books (self-help). At about halfway through reading it, I started skimming to finish it.

[Timber · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an ok book. I liked some of the stories, but I skimmed some, too. This isn't a very useful how-to grief book. But I finished it so it wasn't a terrible read either.

[Christine L · Rating 2 out of 5]

I took a few tidbits of helpful information away from this book but for the most part I found it tedious and not very helpful.

[Natalie Mangrum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not much scripture. Just good suggestions based on authors experience. Worth at least skimming through if you're experiencing suffering and want some strategies to help you process through stuff.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and positive advice for moving forward.