The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

by Jay Pathak, Dave Runyon, Randy Frazee (Foreword)

Once upon a time, people knew their neighbors. They talked to them, had cook-outs with them, and went to church with them. In our time of unprecedented mobility and increasing isolationism, it's hard to make lasting connections with those who live right outside our front door. We have hundreds of "friends" through online social networking, but we often don't even know the full name of the person who lives right next door.

This unique and inspiring book asks the What is the most loving thing I can do for the people who live on my street or in my apartment building? Through compelling true stories of lives impacted, the authors show readers how to create genuine friendships with the people who live in closest proximity to them. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter make this book perfect for small groups or individual study.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Evangelism, Christianity, Faith, Relationships

208 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2012

About the author

Jay Pathak is the Senior Pastor of the Mile High Vineyard. Prior to planting our church in 2001, he served as a leader in the Columbus Vineyard’s young-adult ministry, Joshua House, and as an intern to the senior pastor, Rich Nathan, in Columbus, Ohio.

As the Senior Pastor of the MHV, Jay strategically guides the mission and vision of the church as a whole, is the main teaching pastor and provides oversight to each of our hubs. He has spoken nationally and internationally for Vineyard and other groups in both conference and classroom settings. Currently, he serves as the Regional Church Planting Coordinator for the Rocky Mountain region of the Vineyard.

In addition, Jay created the Engage video series with Carl Medearis – a tool that helps create space to discuss the person and teachings of Jesus. This seven-week course is designed to assist the Church in reaching out to those who are interested in exploring Jesus in a non-threatening environment.

Jay has a BA in Philosophy from The Ohio State University and is a graduate of the Vineyard Leadership Institute. He and his wife, Danielle, were married in 1998 and have two beautiful daughters, Jasmine and Sofia.

Reviews

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I may actually give this book about 3.5 stars. I appreciated the kick in the kiester.

While the content was basically good and encouraging there were some pacing issues in the book that really kind of grated on my reading nerves. Also the over use of the term "lean in" -- I may or may not be a slightly jaded former full-time campus minister that is over buzz word ministry terms. Shoot me now. There are parts that are repetitive that could pare down the book a bit more making this an even more succinct book to encourage us to love our neighbors. While I have generally avoided "how to" books -- this one did not belabor the issue (too much) for hundreds of pages.

I appreciated the encouraging stories, the block map challenge, practical and simple ways to move out and to love our neighbors. I think at times as believers we can try to get out of this by saying our family is our neighbor and we need to work on that aspect. While that is true we still need to be looking to care for the other people that God has placed closest to us in proximity. This book brought some conviction and thoughts on how to move out of my comfort zone.

This could be a quick read individually or could be done in a few weeks with a church group or bible study. Includes a study guide/leader questions in the back. Simple to lead for sure.

Favorite line from book:

"We do not love our neighbors to convert them; we love our neighbors because we are converted."

Amen.

[Gina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The general Biblical principle "love your neighbors as yourself" is often applied in a general, ethereal way leaving "love" in the realm of feeling not action. This book suggests a more literal approach- loving (action not feeling) our literal neighbors, the people who live closest to you, for no other reason than Jesus says those who follow him should. It starts at the lowest possible position: Do you know your neighbors names? The authors then provide practical advice on how to get to know them, the time and effort needed to be a good neighbor, and simple suggestions on ways to neighbor from baked goods, to block parties, to shoveling lots of snow.

All our church community groups (Sunday school for those who kick it old school) recently completed the 7 week study associated with this book. Because we were moving, we missed all but 1 week, but it intrigued me. Such a simple, common sense concept that is obviously hard to do since so few put it into action. I like the idea and plan to look for ways to incorporate some of the concepts into my neighborhood once we get settled in our new location. Yet, there's really only about an article's worth of information here stretched into 12 chapters/200 pages. There's way too much filler and repetition to rate this higher.

[Kristin Gilbreth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super practical and simple steps that we just...don't do. Gave me lots of ideas, and we met two new neighbors as a result of implementing what they're teaching!

I live in a super religious area...and yet I don't see any of this neighboring happening. The families who have lived here the longest know each other, but outside of the next-door neighbors, there's hardly any interaction. Reading this book has motivated me to be proactive.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door by Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon is on our reading list and fits with one of my personal goals - be a good neighbour. My friend Deanna read the book and declared it 'Excellent'.

"In this life, we can do only a few things really well; I think it's a good idea to make certain that one of those things is what Jesus says is most important."

"...we believe...an important first step to good neighbouring [is] taking stock of our priorities and analyzing how we spend our time."

"Making the main thing the main thing means taking time to reflect on what is most important in your life and then scheduling around those things."

' Great Commission is found in Matthew 28, and the part that most of us are familiar with is found in verses 19-20: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you."'

The Great Commandment is found in a number of places in the Bible. Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"; and "Love your neighbour as yourself."

The authors point out that we do not love our neighbours to convert them; we love our neighbours because we are converted.

I appreciate the repetition in this book because it helps the reader to remember key points in the art of neighbouring. The block map and checklist are beneficial and the reflections, examples, and stories were interesting. The Study Guide at the end makes this book applicable for weekly group studies or individual reading.
4 neighbourly stars ⭐️️⭐️️⭐️️⭐️️

[Maggie Boyd · Rating 1 out of 5]

The essence of this book is not wrong. Being friendly to the people in your neighborhood and in your community is common sense. As Jesus said, "Matthew 5:47 If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the heathen do that." I have three neighbors who live close to my house, the two good neighbors are the atheist and agnostic. My problem neighbor? The Christian who goes to church every Sunday. My point: Jesus is right. Even the "heathen" know that it is common sense to live at peace with your neighbors. That's not a Christian virtue; it's common courtesy. Do I think the Christian church could use some training in that? Yes, in fact most Americans need a refresher in courtesy. 30 or so years ago one of our presidents said we need "a kinder, gentler nation." He wasn't wrong. But what this book gets so desperately wrong is the bible and the unique calling that is loving your neighbor the Christian way.

When Jesus was asked, (Matthew 22:36) “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” The Art of Neighboring totally, TOTALLY brushes aside commandment one to focus on commandment two. It then goes on to describe your neighbor as the person literally living next door. That is HUGELY problematic for several reasons. Here is just one: Matthew 5: 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven." When asked to define neighbor, Jesus gives us the parable of the Good Samaritan which shows us an enemy (Samaritan) being the neighbor. The book talks about giving a block party but look at what Jesus said about parties in Luke 14: 12 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” I could give many more verses but my point is this: Our neighbors tend to be like us. Jesus knew that we could typically manage to love those like us. What needs doing is loving those NOT like us. This is where Christians stand out (or should). The book says: “Jesus says your enemy should be your neighbor. He says you should go out of your way to be the neighbor of someone who comes from a place or history of open hostility toward you or your way of life...we would define this kind of love as advanced or graduate-level love. The reality is that most of us aren’t at the graduate level; we need to start with the basics. We need to go back to kindergarten and think about our literal next door neighbors before we attempt to love everyone else on the face of the planet.” Bad news. Jesus said that those stuck in kindergarten don't make it into the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 25:45-46) An entire book could be written about where Art of Neighboring is theologically wrong but anyone familiar with basic scripture should know that at first glance. This isn't kindergarten Christianity; it's remedial humanism. Not a bad thing but not a faith thing, either.

Aside from my overall take that this book is NOT CHRISTIAN (again, not a problem, not all good ideas have to be Christian but all Christian books should be) is an attitude it takes towards social justice: From Chapter One: The ensuing discussion revealed a laundry list of social problems similar to what many cities face: at-risk kids, areas with dilapidated housing, child hunger, drug and alcohol abuse, loneliness, elderly shut-ins with no one to look in on them. The list went on and on. Then the mayor said something that inspired our joint-church movement: “The majority of the issues that our community is facing would be eliminated or drastically reduced if we could just figure out a way to become a community of great neighbors.” Later he explained that often when people identify a problem, they come to civic officials and say something like, “This is becoming a serious issue, and you should start a program to address it.” Frie shared candidly with us that, in his opinion, government programs aren’t always the most effective way to address social issues. He went on to say that relationships are more effective than programs because they are organic and ongoing. The idea is that when neighbors are in relationship with one another, the elderly shut-in gets cared for by the person next door, the at-risk kid gets mentored by a dad who lives on the block, and so on.

Two big problems here:
1. Most white middle-class evangelicals don't live among at risk families. They don't live next door to at risk kids or elderly shut ins. The few needy people that do live among them normally have a support network because they are middle-class and have social nets. The neighborhoods that do have needs tend not to have one or two poor people but a community of impoverished people who can't share what they don't have.
2. Money is often required to care for the at-risk/needy. I shovel a neighbor's driveway in the winter months because they are elderly, no problem. I have helped them in other ways, too. But taking them food, medicine, repairing their home? Those things need social solutions. Financially, my husband and I can't take on a second household. Fortunately, they (like us) are middle class and don't have those needs but my point is, if they did their neighbors could most likely not make up the shortfall.

This books also advances the idea of teaching personal responsibility to people who have tough issues going on. Not Christian, and frankly, most often not helpful.

Lastly, this approach to evangelism has been proven not to work. How often those seeker friendly programs need to be proven ineffective before being dropped by the church I don't know but the fact is that every time the reports come out on them they reveal the same thing. They bring no one to Christ and create zero disciples. We need to stick to what Jesus said does work: Good works. (Matthew 5:16 and a whole lot more.)

I think it is a great idea to get to know your neighbors, invite them to do things, evangelize if/when you can. But this is common sense, common courtesy living and should never, ever be mistaken for the gospel which calls for something greater.

[Craig Turnbull · Rating 4 out of 5]

"What good things might happen if you truly got to know the people in your neighborhood and they got to know you?"

That central idea drives this very helpful book by Pathak and Runyon. Whereas some books emphasize the theology of the practice of hospitality, The Art of Neighboring fills a much needed gap in Christian writing by providing the nuts and bolts of how you reach out to the community around you.

Beginning with what the authors call a "block map" (that's the 3x3 diagram on the cover, with your house in the middle), they ask the reader to follow a mental exercise and answer three things in each box about your neighbors immediately adjacent to your house: (1) The names of your neighbors, (2) basic information about them that you can't know by looking at the outside of their house, and then (3) their worldview. It's a convicting exercise, and they claim that only about 10% of people can even answer the first question in all eight remaining boxes. Clearly there's room for improvement upon the Great Commandment's outworkings even in our immediate neighborhood.

Conviction set, the book unfolds and answers common objections and helpful starters for reaching out to the communities nearest us with the message of Christ. Whether it's lack of time, a fear of the unknown, deciding on the first step, being able to receive, setting boundaries, or even learning to forgive, Pathak and Runyon answer them all.

What I liked about the book was both its extreme practicality, and its emphasis that neighboring or being a part of one's community is actually just as much an act of Great Commandment obedience as it is a Great Commission obedience.

In other words, I don't look to be in the lives of my neighbors just to 'win' them to Christ, and when they don't respond I move on. I also am intentionally neighborly because it's a loving thing to do and Christ calls me to this.

Consider this quote:
"We don't love our neighbors to convert them, we love them because we are converted."

That message is so needed, and that message was worth the price of this helpful little book.

[Steve · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is well intentioned and does have some good practical advice for reaching out and establishing relationships with others in your neighborhood. But, much of the advice is common sense and he is often repetitive in the presentation. The book is conversational in tone and uses a lot of words repetitively like "leaning in," "intentional," and "making an impact" The art of hospitality is something every church should foster both among it's members and in the community. The book consists mainly of stories of the authors interactions with their neighbors and lessons learned from these encounters. He also gives some brief illustrations from Scripture with very little exegesis to emphasize his points. If nothing else, the book did challenge me to think about how little I know my own neighbors and how I might better engage them in ways I had not thought of before.

[Jacob Prince · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although it’s theological content may not be deep, it’s pragmatics are extremely helpful. Good read on living missionally in your neighborhood. Read it like you watch a captivating documentary- soak it all up and let it inspire you.

[Daniel Nemmers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a practical, convicting, and USEFUL book. If every Christian read this and applied it, God would change the world in RADICAL ways. I highly recommend.

[Kay Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to reread this when I live in a neighborhood of unbelievers.

[Ciara Wilkie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a Vineyard Youth Pastor I had heard of Jay Pathak and his wife Danielle, so I was excited to read this book and get to know them and their love of community.

This book discusses the greatest commandment, the golden rule. Love your neighbor. Yet how often do we even know our literal neighbors? It's become less and less in this crazy busy world and now we will drive 15 mins to the store rather than see if our neighbor has a cup of sugar we can borrow.

No matter your religious beliefs neighboring is important. I'm a fan of true crime stories and I definitely see a benefit of knowing your neighbors. As well as from a Christian perspective.

The book also discusses every aspect and argument you can think of as why you can know your neighbors. From fear to arguments in the past there is a way to overcome it and Jay and Dave give great biblical advice.

My husband is an introvert and he is soo much better at talking to the neighbors than I am, because he grew up in a neighborhood that was close where I grew up in the woods and pretty isolated. No matter how far your neighbors are you can get to know them.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

What would happen if we really took the command to love our neighbors seriously? And not just the hypothetical "neighbors" that are in need but are disconnected from our lives...but the actual neighbors on our street? Do you know the people in the 8 houses closest to you? Can you name them? Tell some basic facts about them? Tell what they enjoy and some of their talents and interests?

This gives concrete advice for getting to know the people in your neighborhood and moving from stranger to acquaintance to friend. It includes things like organizing block parties, talking to the people on your street and helping them in small ways and allowing them to help you as well. And then getting others involved in the process of neighboring well.

I want to spend time on the website www.artofneighboring.com and I want to be better at this. I have some ideas of how to start...but I need to actually start. (Maybe start is the wrong word...I know most of my immediate neighbors, but I can still do better and work to create a stronger neighborhood.) This inspired me!

[Ben Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full of practical examples of what it can look like to actively reach out to your neighbors, and certainly convicting as I consider how little effort I have put into this area myself as a follower of Jesus. On the other hand, their main goal stops short of what the main goal should be---relationships that lead to gospel conversations. My main take away is to utilize the concepts of this book but don't stop at block parties and community...strive for relationships that live and breathe the good news of Jesus Christ.

[emma jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This really should be more like 3 1/2 stars, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with book, it just didn’t blow me away. It has lots of great practical tips as well as awesome truths to help your mindset as you try to be a good neighbor, but I don’t think I’d ever get around to referencing it or reading it again, and I’d most likely recommend other books on hospitality before I came to this one. Still a good read though!

[Gary · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good subject, and the authors convey their zeal well with some of great insights. You won't, however, find a lot of profundity between the covers, and the writing style is a little fluffy.

Still, it has challenged me to look around and reach out. As Lewis said, "to love is to be vulnerable", and we should seek occasions to get close enough to those we live near that we might love them.

According to the writers, neighboring is not evangelism. But as real relationships are built up and lives are affected, your neighbors will be more open to the words of life. That seems a good way to view things, and it avoids neighboring as a mere means to a set end.

Liked it.

[Lauren Winfree · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is convicting, overwhelming, and important. The Greatest Commandment is the cornerstone of this book and I am thankful for this reminder. They encourage you to get to know the 8 neighbors closest around you on a more personal level. They also encourage you to throw a block party for them and/or your neighborhood. As an introvert this is pretty daunting to me, but I do feel convicted to do more than I am currently doing to get to know my neighbors.

[Jory Bayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book! This quick read is ideal for Christians wanting to live intentionally in their neighborhoods/communities but aren’t sure where to start or what that looks like. It’s visionary, motivating, practical, and accessible. Don’t be fooled though. This book is more than a few good neighboring tips for super Christians, it’s about wholistic Gospel-centered living and discipleship for anyone who truly wants to follow Jesus.

[Jessie Cheung · Rating 4 out of 5]

very quick book! read on the plane. really encouraged me to think about the people around me intentionally, and addressed any possible barriers along the way through the book. main point was clear, felt like a sermon extended in book form, which is a compliment!

[Kenley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excited to work towards being a good neighbor to all of those around me! Definitely worth the read if you’re struggling to walk in the Great Commandment— loving your neighbor— with simple and effective ways to practice.

[Ali Vbeck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear, simple exhortation. No profound prose or crazy methodology, just applying the biblical commands we all know to the people literally next to us. I wasn’t totally on board with a couple illustrations/examples, but the general principles are widely applicable and desperately needed.

[Coby Neal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ministry can easily become a mistress people will be proud of you for having and an idol people won’t notice you worship.

Yes, minister to your neighbors, but prioritize your family, keep your boundaries and hold to a rhythm of rest.

[Marc Buwalda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most Christ-followers I know (myself very included) understand the “great commandment” but fail to put it into action with conviction or consistency. This book is an inspiring walk through the calling to love one’s neighbors in ways that are are both practical and powerful.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked how practical the book was. I figured it would tell me to love my neighbors bc Jesus calls me to and because it could help them know Jesus better- I was surprised how much it encouraged loving my neighbor because of the practical good it would do for my entire neighborhood. This book led me to feel challenged & prepared

[Maddi · Rating 1 out of 5]

The thought of finishing this book actually makes my heart race, thoughts of dread and despair swirl around my mind.

It’s not that this is a bad book. The core of the book is really good!! However, this could have been a mini-book. Like, 40-50 pages. Not 200.


DNF

——————

I saw some students at the Starbucks on campus with their Bibles out discussing this book. So of course I had to buy it.

[Sarah Hyatt · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really, can we all please just stop verb-ing our nouns? "Being a neighbor" was good enough for Jesus and Mr. Rogers, and neither of them need improved upon.

This book is a lot - A LOT - of fluff and very little substance. It reads very much like the papers I throw together the night before they are due - take all the knowledge you're supposed to repeat, repeat it, switch it around, make it look like you digested it, get an A. Throw in key terms and buzz words. Repeat. You can fabricate the experience of actually processing the information.

The book can be summed up pretty simply - get to know your neighbors. Which is fine advice. Polite, kind, decent. Biblical, probably. Except the Biblical bits of this book are just proof-texting, a few random anecdotes about Jesus thrown in here and there in order to prove a point. They aren't really exegeted at all, beyond "of course this is what it means." There's no attempt to shift from Jesus' culture to the culture of the typical white, middle class American neighborhood because we never leave it in the first place.

After wading through buzzwords and cliches (the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing!), the book also contradicts itself a lot. Stop being so busy, get to know your neighbors, but actually it's okay because all relationships have stopping points, and humans are legos, and ain't nobody got time for all this.

The "reading list" looks like a compiled list of the most popular and trendy books on... well, everything, really, from the past five years or so. Kind of like a ministry conference table exploded. Unfortunately, these resources - some of them good, some of them overdone, but I'm not reviewing those - are basically better extrapolations of this book. There is nothing new here, no great insight, no new research tying any of these things together. Be a neighbor, Jesus is pretty smart after all LOL, be a story, be a party, Kid President Donald Miller what? I don't know either. Connect! Reach out! Lean in! Think different! Drop the buzzwords and say something of substance.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book. Written by two pastors in Denver, the premise of the book is, Jesus says the great commandment is to Love God & to Love your neighbor, and yet we seem to miss the mark on the second half of the commandment. A major premise of the book is that we fail to obey the commandment literally. We think of the parable of the Good Samaritan, that even my enemies are my neighbors, but in aiming to love everyone are we failing to love our literal neighbors. The authors suggest that roughly 90% of Americans don’t even know the names of their 8 closest neighbors. How can we be loving our neighbors if we don’t even know their names? The book challenges the reader to take steps towards getting to know their neighbors so that they can love their neighbors well. This is not a veiled evangelism strategy, but is a call to obedience to follow the Great Commandment quite literally, to love the people who live near you.

[Carie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I skimmed through most of this book. I have recently moved and have a goal of belonging to a community. So, I really want to have good relations with my neighbors. Our one neighbor kept mentioning that they are both private people. However, their children kept coming over to our home to play so I chose to befriend the parents. After a few hurtful words from the mother, I realize that they are private people and I need to give them space. I took it very personally, but after reading this book, I realized it is not me. Because of this situation, Chapter 10 really spoke to me. I need to invest my time wisely with those that appreciate it and are open to having a relationship. Very freeing to me to read!

[Evan Hoekzema · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was super practical and came at a great time in my life. I was looking for some help as I sought to get to know my neighbors and some easy ways to do it along with a foundation for why it was essential to the life of a Christian. Now I’m taking our church through it too in order to get everyone on board!

[Madeline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was appropriate to read after moving to a new place. Gives practical ways to live out the Great Commandment.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It's really practical and it definitely encouraged me to get more involved with the people around me.

I thought the author's got the focus wrong with some of their Bible passages and didn't give sufficient biblical support for the main premise and some of the sub-arguments. I also noticed that they kept referring to loving our neighbors as the Great Commandment when really it's the second great commandment (which they do acknowledge elsewhere, but it seemed like kind of a big oversight in some sections). It's not as biblically sound as I would have liked, but I got several good take aways from it.

Some of my favorite quotes/ideas are below:

1. "I am convinced that living in close community with our neighbors is the best way to live. The command to love our neighbors lies at the core of God's plan for our lives, and when we follow this mandate, it changes everything. The journey begins when we choose a lifestyle of conversation and community over a lifestyle of business and accumulation. It's about making room for life and choosing to befriend those God has placed around us." (pg. 11)

2. Relationships > programs. They're organic and ongoing. (pg. 19)

3. "My life was becoming so crowed with helping people that I wasn't willing to help anyone "off the clock." And by "off the clock" I mean whenever I didn't want to. God was asking me to be flexible, and that's not easy for a schedule-oriented guy like me. But this is what happens when we come face-to-face with Jesus's invitation to love our neighbors." (pg. 32)

4. "When we hear the story about the good Samaritan, we are tempted to fall into a trap similar to that of the expert in the law. He wanted to define who qualified as his neighbor. And in looking for a loophole, he missed the lesson Jesus tried to teach." (pg. 34)

5. "If we don't take Jesus's command literally then we turn the Great Commandment into nothing more than a metaphor. We have a metaphoric love for our metaphoric neighbors, and our communities are changed—but only metaphorically, of course. In other words, nothing changes." (pg. 36) "Yes, sometimes the term neighbor is used in its broadest sense. We're called to love all people, everywhere. But it's easy to use this metaphorical definition of neighbor—the world—as our only definition. And if that definition is our default, it probably means that by trying to love many, we actually love very few. Therefore, we should start with our most obvious neighbors—the ones that live nearest to us." (pg. 54)

6. Quote from John Ortberg about "hurry sickness": "Love and hurry are fundamentally incompatible. Love always takes time, and time is the one thing hurried people don't have." (pg. 53)

7. Being consistent isn't flashy (the author's write that no one is making a movie about the guy who is consistent), but it's necessary in our relationships. Small things matter. "God uses he small things that we bring to him and multiplies them into a miracle in someone else's life." (pg. 86-87)

8. Our ultimate motive is sharing the love of Christ, but it can't be our ulterior motive. "We don't love our neighbors to convert them; we love our neighbors because we are converted." (pg. 102) The chapter called Motives Matter has some good food for thought.

9. "If we live out the Great Commandment, an environment is created where the Great Commission can be effectively obeyed." (pg. 111)

There are lots of helpful topics that are covered like making time, setting priorities and boundaries, overcoming fear, practicing forgiveness, the art of receiving and how to get started and stay focused. It also has a book list in the back for each chapter's topic and study questions.

Reading this book really inspired me to get to know my neighbors and show love to the people closest to me. It suffers theologically and I would probably recommend this with a caveat that it provides great motivation and tools for loving our neighbors but needs to be rounded out with deeper/more accurate biblical teaching. I hope to go through it this summer with a group to use the questions and have good opportunities for accountability in following through with what I've been challenged with. It's quick and easy to read and definitely worth it.