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My Mother's Keeper
'There's only one way for a female to be recognize in this man's world ... and that's to fight every inch of the way. You can never stop fighting. I fought and I'm still fighting and I'll be fighting until my dying day' -- BETTE DAVIS
Hollywood always liked its female stars to be feminine, agreeable and pretty. Bette Davis was never a typical Hollywood star. She was tough, smart, aggressive, gifted and bitterly determined. It was those qualities that made her one of the most legendary and charismatic actresses of her generation. But the stormy personality that drove her to the top knew no rest behind the scenes, and those same qualities damned her personal life right from the start.
The broken marriages, the domestic violence and unhappiness, the vicious battles with The System, the conflicts with other stars, the personal dissatisfaction and obsessiveness, the loneliness behind the accolades - all of it is here, told by the only person who knows Bette Davis well enough to tell it, her daughter, B.D. Hyman.
Written with compassion, humour, understanding and searing honesty, this is the story of the real Bette Davis - more controversial, more shocking and more moving than any character she ever played on film.
Hollywood always liked its female stars to be feminine, agreeable and pretty. Bette Davis was never a typical Hollywood star. She was tough, smart, aggressive, gifted and bitterly determined. It was those qualities that made her one of the most legendary and charismatic actresses of her generation. But the stormy personality that drove her to the top knew no rest behind the scenes, and those same qualities damned her personal life right from the start.
The broken marriages, the domestic violence and unhappiness, the vicious battles with The System, the conflicts with other stars, the personal dissatisfaction and obsessiveness, the loneliness behind the accolades - all of it is here, told by the only person who knows Bette Davis well enough to tell it, her daughter, B.D. Hyman.
Written with compassion, humour, understanding and searing honesty, this is the story of the real Bette Davis - more controversial, more shocking and more moving than any character she ever played on film.
347 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1985
27 people are currently reading
1126 people want to read
About the author
B.D. Hyman
5 books9 followersB. D. Hyman (born Barbara Davis Sherry), aka B.D. Merrill, is an American author and pastor. Hyman is the daughter of actress Bette Davis and artist William Sherry. A born-again Christian, Hyman is the head of her own ministry and Pastor of her church based in Charlottesville, Virginia.
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April 24, 2017
Can you spell B R A T?
That's the best way I can think of to describe the Hollywood legend, Bette Davis's daughter B.D. Hyman who wrote this horribly cruel autobiography of life with her mother.
This is even more malicious than Joan Fontaine's autobiography of her feud with sister, Olivia de Havilland, if you can believe that.
B.D. Hyman begins by retelling all the woes of her childhood in which she was given everything she wanted.
Bette Davis owned 2 countryside mansions on the east coast where her children were given everything they could possible want as well as private school education.
Poor B.D.H. even has her own horse that has accommodations at her private school.
B.D.H. has the memory of an elephant as well as she can retell in acute detail every argument that she ever had with her mother.
One thing B.D.H. forgets to tell the reader is that her mother is a hard core alcoholic and had been for years. Bette always started the day off with a slug of Scotch and continued drinking until she passed out at night.
The bratty B.D.H. might not have understood alcoholism when she wrote this awful tell-all about her mother in 1986 and was not able to connect cause and effect when it came to Bette's temper tantrums and what not.
Bette Davis was not a saint and always loved stirring up drama whether drunk or sober so I can imagine she was a pill to live with a lot of the time. But one thing that is very apparent during her alcoholic rampages is that she loves her daughter.
I can't even imagine why she wanted to write this book trashing her mom who she even accuses of being abusive to her grandsons at times. B.D. claims that she cut off all connection with her mother because of this but I'm not sure that's the real reason.
B.D.H. insisted on marrying her beau, Jeremy Hyman, when she was just 16. She had met him at the premiere of one of her mother's movies and said they fell in love at first sight.
It probably didn't hurt either that Jeremy was kin to big shots in the business and was in their employ. He wasn't rich but had prospects I suppose.
I don't know whatever became of his prospects in the movie business because before you know it B.D. and Jeremy soon own property and have a mansion in a secluded area of Virginia where they grow things and ride horses a lot.
So apparently Jeremy is no longer working for his kin folks in Hollywood but no reason is ever given as to why this occurred. B.D. never tells us exactly what her husband did for a living out in the middle of nowhere on their Virginia farm.
B.D. is a stay at home mother to her 2 sons and life is just perfect. B.D. and Jeremy are perfect and they have perfect children but this bucolic scene is shattered whenever Bette arrives to spend time with them.
Bette despises her son-in-law Jeremy who bravely withstands Bette's vicious verbal attacks.
I began to wonder why Bette disliked Jeremy so much...could it be that J. is lazy and doesn't want to hold a job perhaps?
Does this cause B.D. to beg money from her in order to keep up her fantasy existence at the farm?
Could the 30 year old Jeremy have married the 16 year old B.D. because he thought she would inherit a lot of money one day and he wouldn't have to work anymore?
B.D. says the only reason that she remained in contact with her dreadful mother was that she was the only family Bette had left. Was the real reason that B.D. tolerated her mother because she expected to inherit a lot of money one day?
Well that's a shame because between 4 husbands and being an alcoholic Bette was broke.
She had to play any part that she was given because by the late 50's her beauty had been ravaged by alcoholism and I do mean ravaged.
If you've seen the movies: "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" or "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte" you will agree with me.
In the 1980's Bette was found to have breast cancer of which she died in 1989 at the age of 81.
Before this happened B.D. Hyman had already finished this book and it was soon to be published.
The last chapters were about her mother's health problems.
B.D. didn't seem to have much compassion for her mother's pain and suffering but went into great detail how awful Bette was to all the help in the hospital, throwing her food on the floor when she was withdrawing from alcohol and had the D.T.'s.
No, perfect B.D.'s heart was not moved by this even though she saw it all first hand.
What B.D. doesn't tell us though is that Bette became aware of the tell-all that her daughter was writing before Bette was found to have cancer.
B.D. must have needed the money and wanted to cash in before her mom's death. When Bette wrote B.D. out of her will at the end this might explain the crassness of this book.
Normal people don't write about their mother in this manner as mom is dying of cancer is all I have to say. Absolutely appalling.
I've been watching the FX network, new series "Bette and Joan: the Feud" about Betty Davis and Joan Crawford's long standing Hollywood feud. I knew I had an old Bette Davis paperback around and that's the reason I decided to read this book even though it certainly wasn't what I was expecting.
Bette Davis's book: This 'n That is probably the best book to read for anyone interested in her life. Bette does not trash her daughter in her book but does tell of their relationship. I'll probably read this soon as I want to hear the other side of the story.
*Edited to add:
I just read that B.D. Hyman is now a born again Christian and minister raking in the dough. She's probably as good of an actress as Bette in this role...
That's the best way I can think of to describe the Hollywood legend, Bette Davis's daughter B.D. Hyman who wrote this horribly cruel autobiography of life with her mother.
This is even more malicious than Joan Fontaine's autobiography of her feud with sister, Olivia de Havilland, if you can believe that.
B.D. Hyman begins by retelling all the woes of her childhood in which she was given everything she wanted.
Bette Davis owned 2 countryside mansions on the east coast where her children were given everything they could possible want as well as private school education.
Poor B.D.H. even has her own horse that has accommodations at her private school.
B.D.H. has the memory of an elephant as well as she can retell in acute detail every argument that she ever had with her mother.
One thing B.D.H. forgets to tell the reader is that her mother is a hard core alcoholic and had been for years. Bette always started the day off with a slug of Scotch and continued drinking until she passed out at night.
The bratty B.D.H. might not have understood alcoholism when she wrote this awful tell-all about her mother in 1986 and was not able to connect cause and effect when it came to Bette's temper tantrums and what not.
Bette Davis was not a saint and always loved stirring up drama whether drunk or sober so I can imagine she was a pill to live with a lot of the time. But one thing that is very apparent during her alcoholic rampages is that she loves her daughter.
I can't even imagine why she wanted to write this book trashing her mom who she even accuses of being abusive to her grandsons at times. B.D. claims that she cut off all connection with her mother because of this but I'm not sure that's the real reason.
B.D.H. insisted on marrying her beau, Jeremy Hyman, when she was just 16. She had met him at the premiere of one of her mother's movies and said they fell in love at first sight.
It probably didn't hurt either that Jeremy was kin to big shots in the business and was in their employ. He wasn't rich but had prospects I suppose.
I don't know whatever became of his prospects in the movie business because before you know it B.D. and Jeremy soon own property and have a mansion in a secluded area of Virginia where they grow things and ride horses a lot.
So apparently Jeremy is no longer working for his kin folks in Hollywood but no reason is ever given as to why this occurred. B.D. never tells us exactly what her husband did for a living out in the middle of nowhere on their Virginia farm.
B.D. is a stay at home mother to her 2 sons and life is just perfect. B.D. and Jeremy are perfect and they have perfect children but this bucolic scene is shattered whenever Bette arrives to spend time with them.
Bette despises her son-in-law Jeremy who bravely withstands Bette's vicious verbal attacks.
I began to wonder why Bette disliked Jeremy so much...could it be that J. is lazy and doesn't want to hold a job perhaps?
Does this cause B.D. to beg money from her in order to keep up her fantasy existence at the farm?
Could the 30 year old Jeremy have married the 16 year old B.D. because he thought she would inherit a lot of money one day and he wouldn't have to work anymore?
B.D. says the only reason that she remained in contact with her dreadful mother was that she was the only family Bette had left. Was the real reason that B.D. tolerated her mother because she expected to inherit a lot of money one day?
Well that's a shame because between 4 husbands and being an alcoholic Bette was broke.
She had to play any part that she was given because by the late 50's her beauty had been ravaged by alcoholism and I do mean ravaged.
If you've seen the movies: "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" or "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte" you will agree with me.
In the 1980's Bette was found to have breast cancer of which she died in 1989 at the age of 81.
Before this happened B.D. Hyman had already finished this book and it was soon to be published.
The last chapters were about her mother's health problems.
B.D. didn't seem to have much compassion for her mother's pain and suffering but went into great detail how awful Bette was to all the help in the hospital, throwing her food on the floor when she was withdrawing from alcohol and had the D.T.'s.
No, perfect B.D.'s heart was not moved by this even though she saw it all first hand.
What B.D. doesn't tell us though is that Bette became aware of the tell-all that her daughter was writing before Bette was found to have cancer.
B.D. must have needed the money and wanted to cash in before her mom's death. When Bette wrote B.D. out of her will at the end this might explain the crassness of this book.
Normal people don't write about their mother in this manner as mom is dying of cancer is all I have to say. Absolutely appalling.
I've been watching the FX network, new series "Bette and Joan: the Feud" about Betty Davis and Joan Crawford's long standing Hollywood feud. I knew I had an old Bette Davis paperback around and that's the reason I decided to read this book even though it certainly wasn't what I was expecting.
Bette Davis's book: This 'n That is probably the best book to read for anyone interested in her life. Bette does not trash her daughter in her book but does tell of their relationship. I'll probably read this soon as I want to hear the other side of the story.
*Edited to add:
I just read that B.D. Hyman is now a born again Christian and minister raking in the dough. She's probably as good of an actress as Bette in this role...
January 9, 2013
When this book was published, I was in the 6th grade and I snapped it up immediately upon encountering it in a hotel convenience store while vacationing with my parents at the Epcot Center in Miami Florida. It provided great reading for the airplane trip home.
I was already a long time Bette Davis fan by the time I read this book at age 12. I was shocked and appalled at the author's assertions and not at all sympathetic having already read and sympathized with Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford. This meek attempt at trumping that book read like a desperate, media hungry rendition of Ann Blyth's character in Mildred Pierce. Veda, the ungrateful daughter of that film stopped at nothing to wreck her doormat mother's nerves by committing the literal act of denouncing her mother's affections.
Knowing a little more than the average consumer about the character of Bette Davis, I found her daughter's overblown claims of "abuse" to be a study in histrionic hyperbole. We all know that Bette had a sharp tongue that left its targets to fend for themselves in a survival of the fittest game of chance, but it's a shame that the dowdy dimwitted daughter wasn't intelligent enough to rival it. She withered under the shadow of celebrity and cigarette smoke wafting from her mother's presence and used the 200+ pages to recount arguments with her mother ranging from ludicrous to laughable on the scale of sentiment. It is unbelievable to assume that the author's intention was to warrant sympathy from the reader. My gut feeling after reading the horrific waste of trees is that BD Hyman was too negatively influenced by her husband who she married at age 16 and her fundamentalist born again Christian cult of a faith that she espoused as a way to "recover" from the scars she purportedly suffered at the other end of a jab from Bette's hand gestures. Bette Davis never recovered from the scandal begat by the publishing of this book and the damage it did to her relationship with her beloved daughter. I watched a clip from an interview Bette did on Good Morning America in the early 1980s where she speaks glowingly with love beaming from her aura about her daughter and their relationship. Was she completely in the dark about BD's true feelings or was BD a two faced snake in the grass that spun a yarn of bullshit at her husband's behest for motives of financial gain? My feeling rests on the latter theory. Bette Davis had a chance to tell her side of the story when she published her last autobiography, This n' That in 1987 which she dedicated to her faithful nurse and confidante Kathryn Sermak. In it she devotes a letter to BD on the last page. Addressed to "Hyman", the letter succeeds in writing the bitch off once and for all but between the lines, it is rife with a mother's bewilderment at having raised a daughter she inevitably knew nothing about. I have cursed the essence of BD ever since and held tight to the hope that she will reap her consequences at her self described pearly gates. I hope Bette is there with St. Peter to reject her entrance into heaven. That would show the bitch what suffering is all about.
I was already a long time Bette Davis fan by the time I read this book at age 12. I was shocked and appalled at the author's assertions and not at all sympathetic having already read and sympathized with Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford. This meek attempt at trumping that book read like a desperate, media hungry rendition of Ann Blyth's character in Mildred Pierce. Veda, the ungrateful daughter of that film stopped at nothing to wreck her doormat mother's nerves by committing the literal act of denouncing her mother's affections.
Knowing a little more than the average consumer about the character of Bette Davis, I found her daughter's overblown claims of "abuse" to be a study in histrionic hyperbole. We all know that Bette had a sharp tongue that left its targets to fend for themselves in a survival of the fittest game of chance, but it's a shame that the dowdy dimwitted daughter wasn't intelligent enough to rival it. She withered under the shadow of celebrity and cigarette smoke wafting from her mother's presence and used the 200+ pages to recount arguments with her mother ranging from ludicrous to laughable on the scale of sentiment. It is unbelievable to assume that the author's intention was to warrant sympathy from the reader. My gut feeling after reading the horrific waste of trees is that BD Hyman was too negatively influenced by her husband who she married at age 16 and her fundamentalist born again Christian cult of a faith that she espoused as a way to "recover" from the scars she purportedly suffered at the other end of a jab from Bette's hand gestures. Bette Davis never recovered from the scandal begat by the publishing of this book and the damage it did to her relationship with her beloved daughter. I watched a clip from an interview Bette did on Good Morning America in the early 1980s where she speaks glowingly with love beaming from her aura about her daughter and their relationship. Was she completely in the dark about BD's true feelings or was BD a two faced snake in the grass that spun a yarn of bullshit at her husband's behest for motives of financial gain? My feeling rests on the latter theory. Bette Davis had a chance to tell her side of the story when she published her last autobiography, This n' That in 1987 which she dedicated to her faithful nurse and confidante Kathryn Sermak. In it she devotes a letter to BD on the last page. Addressed to "Hyman", the letter succeeds in writing the bitch off once and for all but between the lines, it is rife with a mother's bewilderment at having raised a daughter she inevitably knew nothing about. I have cursed the essence of BD ever since and held tight to the hope that she will reap her consequences at her self described pearly gates. I hope Bette is there with St. Peter to reject her entrance into heaven. That would show the bitch what suffering is all about.
April 5, 2008
Oh, bitch bitch bitch. Apparently B.D. Hyman saw Joan Crawford's daughter cash a big paycheck for her tell-all and thought she could play the woe-is-me card too. But I ended up feeling more sympathetic toward Bette than B.D. Glad I borrowed it and didn't add to B.D.'s payday.
December 11, 2013
This is the harshest, most self-serving compilation of garbage I've ever read. Bette Davis may not have been perfect but as I see it, she kept that girl warm, fed, and catered to like she was a fairy princess. That was her biggest mistake.
What I want to know, considering Christian charity, is why doesn't BD have any, if she's such a big Christian?
She's one of those false prophets, in it for the money, nothing else. I happen to be an atheist but part of me hopes there is some sort of reckoning for Christians like her.
Despicable. That's it in one word. Despicable.
I'm just glad I got the book from Amazon for $.01.
What I want to know, considering Christian charity, is why doesn't BD have any, if she's such a big Christian?
She's one of those false prophets, in it for the money, nothing else. I happen to be an atheist but part of me hopes there is some sort of reckoning for Christians like her.
Despicable. That's it in one word. Despicable.
I'm just glad I got the book from Amazon for $.01.
May 28, 2020
The 1980's was the decade of the juicy tell all. If you knew or were related to a celebrity then you could get a book deal. Especially if you were the child of a Hollywood legend. The most famous is of course Mommie Dearest written by the daughter of Hollywood legend Joan Crawford(I have that book and its next on my to read list). There were others including the son of Bing Crosby(I'm working on finding that one and I've heard its a troubling read) and this book My Mother's Keeper written by B.D. Hyman the only biological child of Hollywood legend Bette Davis.
This book was scandalous, gossip filled and super cringy.
Do I believe the stories in this book?
Some of them sound truthful but overall I think this book is vicious and mean money grab. This book seems like a huge FUCK YOU to her mother Bette Davis. The epilogue in this book says as much. B.D. Hyman writes that this book is meant to get her mother's attention and to "bring the fight to her mother's doorstep".
Unlike Mommie Dearest and Joan Crawford, at least My Mother's Keeper was written while Bette Davis was still alive. Davis would die about 4 years later but Davis was suffering from the affects of several strokes and from cancer, so in a way I think this book was meaner. And it appears that Bette Davis despite her failing health heard about this book because right around the time it was published Davis wrote B.D. and B.D.'s sons out of her will. Bette Davis left everything to 2 people that according to this book Bette Davis hated her son Michael and her long time aide Kathryn. Given what I read about those 2 on this book I was rather shocked to learn of her leaving them anything. B.D says flat out that her mother hated Michael's guts...yet she left him half of her small(relative to her fame) fortune.
I don't rate books like this based on the truthfulness of the subject. I simply rate based on if I found it entertaining and I did.
This book was crazy!
I felt like I was reading a very over the top soap opera(Yes, I know that's an oxymoron). If you don't take it as absolute fact then you can sit back and just enjoy it. I read several articles about this book and about B.D. Hyman and the majority of people think this book is made up but as with most things I don't think you'll ever really know.
Did this book change my opinion of Bette Davis?
Nope! She was a fantastic actress and I choose to leave it at that.
This book was scandalous, gossip filled and super cringy.
Do I believe the stories in this book?
Some of them sound truthful but overall I think this book is vicious and mean money grab. This book seems like a huge FUCK YOU to her mother Bette Davis. The epilogue in this book says as much. B.D. Hyman writes that this book is meant to get her mother's attention and to "bring the fight to her mother's doorstep".
Unlike Mommie Dearest and Joan Crawford, at least My Mother's Keeper was written while Bette Davis was still alive. Davis would die about 4 years later but Davis was suffering from the affects of several strokes and from cancer, so in a way I think this book was meaner. And it appears that Bette Davis despite her failing health heard about this book because right around the time it was published Davis wrote B.D. and B.D.'s sons out of her will. Bette Davis left everything to 2 people that according to this book Bette Davis hated her son Michael and her long time aide Kathryn. Given what I read about those 2 on this book I was rather shocked to learn of her leaving them anything. B.D says flat out that her mother hated Michael's guts...yet she left him half of her small(relative to her fame) fortune.
I don't rate books like this based on the truthfulness of the subject. I simply rate based on if I found it entertaining and I did.
This book was crazy!
I felt like I was reading a very over the top soap opera(Yes, I know that's an oxymoron). If you don't take it as absolute fact then you can sit back and just enjoy it. I read several articles about this book and about B.D. Hyman and the majority of people think this book is made up but as with most things I don't think you'll ever really know.
Did this book change my opinion of Bette Davis?
Nope! She was a fantastic actress and I choose to leave it at that.
June 17, 2008
I fully and freely admit it: I love tell-all bio and autobiographies. This one is written by the only biological daughter of Bette Davis. She is a born-again Christian who rails more about her mother's poor cooking and obnoxious behavior with waitstaff than she does her chronic and destruction alcoholism.
The title of this autobio is actually inappropriate because nowhere in the book is there any description of Bette Davis' daughter ever actually taking care of her mother, "keeping" her. In fact, this book was written and published during the last years of Davis' life when she was battling strokes and cancer, mostly alone, often hospitalized, while her daughter evaded tax fraud issues by moving out of country (explored in a follow-up autobio called Narrow Is the Way.)
Anyway, I pull this book out every once in a while because it is an over-the-top saga in the vein of Mommy Dearest. It makes me laugh the way Davis' best one-liners in her classic movies do.
The title of this autobio is actually inappropriate because nowhere in the book is there any description of Bette Davis' daughter ever actually taking care of her mother, "keeping" her. In fact, this book was written and published during the last years of Davis' life when she was battling strokes and cancer, mostly alone, often hospitalized, while her daughter evaded tax fraud issues by moving out of country (explored in a follow-up autobio called Narrow Is the Way.)
Anyway, I pull this book out every once in a while because it is an over-the-top saga in the vein of Mommy Dearest. It makes me laugh the way Davis' best one-liners in her classic movies do.
April 16, 2012
It seems to me that Stevie Nicks got it right by never having children because she regards her career and her fans as plenty enough fulfillment. Too bad the same cannot be said for Bette Davis (and Joan Crawford, though I felt Christina's book was much more warranted). Why movie stars still insist on having children is far beyond me. But I do not blame this atrocious book on Bette. The only mistake she made was giving birth to a daughter who is utterly without backbone.
First, in Hyman's defense, it must be stated that there is truth in all fiction and non-fiction. But, as far as memoirs go, remembering entire conversations that are years in the past is pretty impossible. So while I do not doubt that Bette Davis could at times be a difficult woman, I also doubt here that every word is verbatim. I might also point out that I, too, could write an expose on my mother divulging all our worst times, and you'd never know that she's still the best mom anyone can ask for. Keep that in mind while reading this review.
Bear with me for a second, but I have often attributed my lack of a love life to what I am now calling the "Ursula Effect." In "The Little Mermaid" Ursula sings the following in "Poor Unfortunate Souls" :
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's more preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
They're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and sigh and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
IT'S SHE WHO HOLDS HER TONGUE WHO GETS A MAN
Bette Davis was a strong woman. She did not hold her tongue. And this, I'm hedging my bets on, is the reason why her daughter (and others) took such issue with her.
This book is a wreck. I'm hard-pressed to know where to begin, so why not start with the copyright?? It is copyrighted 1985 to Hyman AND her husband. Hmmm. So is this REALLY just a daughter's "candid portrait of her famous mother" than? Or is it, perchance, also a daughter AND her husband's candid portrait of a famous movie star?
I hated the dialogue. HATED. HATED. HATED. According to B.D., the following is the extent of Bette Davis's vocabulary:
Shit
Jesus
Brother
God, you're a cold bitch!
(none of which I've heard Bette use in interviews - and she seems a candid woman who would not censor herself even for the press.)
Also, apparently Bette hung up on B.D. constantly, and she writes over and over "Click. Dial tone." How original.
B.D. constantly mentions how much Bette always whined about travel, but au contraire! I just saw an interview on YouTube with Bette in which she says that one of the absolute best things about her job was, in fact, the travel.
B.D. is clearly looking from sympathy from the same vein Christina Crawford tapped in all of us. But just reading this monstrosity drained all my pints of sympathy. With B.D. for a daughter, I can only imagine that Bette had every right to behave as she (allegedly) did. Bette was a chain smoker, that much is accurate. But far from being her mother's keeper, B.D. was instead her mother's enabler. The book escalates in ridiculous scenarios that culminate in B.D's son Justin being pretty heavily emotionally and psychically abused by Bette. But before you rip down your Bette Davis posters, I must assure you that B.D. actually ALLOWED this to happen. We see throughout the years all this apparent damage wrought by Bette. B.D. married very young, at 16, and still she did not cut the cord from her mother. She allowed herself to be bullied and bludgeoned by her mother's lawyer and this, in turn, carried over to the rest of her family. How B.D. is still married I cannot fathom. How this man did not walk out on such a spineless individual, I haven't a clue. Perhaps that is why Bette was so epically pissed off all the time (if she indeed was). Here was her beloved daughter taking it lying down. Unacceptable, and I absolutely agree.
B.D., you have, unfortunately, no one to blame but yourself, though I know that's a bitter pill to swallow (and one you cannot accept, given this book). There is a great ending to a Degrassi episode in which Anya asks Holly J why she's so mean to her all the time. Holly J's response? "Because you let me." B.D. let her mother walk all over her, and then let her mother walk right on out of her life only to be a "born-again Christian" and start her own ministry. How creepy. That ministry is right here in Charlottesville, Virginia where I currently live. I'm actually a little bit terrified for my life right now, but kind of wanting to visit her church to see the batshit fruit of Bette Davis's womb.
It should be noted that Bette Davis also said in an interview (pre-My Mother's Keeper) that there was nothing wrong with homemaking and the her daughter, B.D., was excellent at it. I don't suppose I need to mention that B.D. grew up meeting Walt Disney and traveling lavish places and getting doted upon. B.D. says repeatedly how much her mother loved her, and she even KNOWS it to be true. Well, B.D., I can only quote "Confessions of an American Girl" : 'When someone gives you love, try not to shit on it."
All I can do in conclusion is just to leave you with this awesome quote from Bette:
"Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch. Maybe that's why [Joan Crawford] always plays ladies."
First, in Hyman's defense, it must be stated that there is truth in all fiction and non-fiction. But, as far as memoirs go, remembering entire conversations that are years in the past is pretty impossible. So while I do not doubt that Bette Davis could at times be a difficult woman, I also doubt here that every word is verbatim. I might also point out that I, too, could write an expose on my mother divulging all our worst times, and you'd never know that she's still the best mom anyone can ask for. Keep that in mind while reading this review.
Bear with me for a second, but I have often attributed my lack of a love life to what I am now calling the "Ursula Effect." In "The Little Mermaid" Ursula sings the following in "Poor Unfortunate Souls" :
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's more preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
They're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and sigh and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
IT'S SHE WHO HOLDS HER TONGUE WHO GETS A MAN
Bette Davis was a strong woman. She did not hold her tongue. And this, I'm hedging my bets on, is the reason why her daughter (and others) took such issue with her.
This book is a wreck. I'm hard-pressed to know where to begin, so why not start with the copyright?? It is copyrighted 1985 to Hyman AND her husband. Hmmm. So is this REALLY just a daughter's "candid portrait of her famous mother" than? Or is it, perchance, also a daughter AND her husband's candid portrait of a famous movie star?
I hated the dialogue. HATED. HATED. HATED. According to B.D., the following is the extent of Bette Davis's vocabulary:
Shit
Jesus
Brother
God, you're a cold bitch!
(none of which I've heard Bette use in interviews - and she seems a candid woman who would not censor herself even for the press.)
Also, apparently Bette hung up on B.D. constantly, and she writes over and over "Click. Dial tone." How original.
B.D. constantly mentions how much Bette always whined about travel, but au contraire! I just saw an interview on YouTube with Bette in which she says that one of the absolute best things about her job was, in fact, the travel.
B.D. is clearly looking from sympathy from the same vein Christina Crawford tapped in all of us. But just reading this monstrosity drained all my pints of sympathy. With B.D. for a daughter, I can only imagine that Bette had every right to behave as she (allegedly) did. Bette was a chain smoker, that much is accurate. But far from being her mother's keeper, B.D. was instead her mother's enabler. The book escalates in ridiculous scenarios that culminate in B.D's son Justin being pretty heavily emotionally and psychically abused by Bette. But before you rip down your Bette Davis posters, I must assure you that B.D. actually ALLOWED this to happen. We see throughout the years all this apparent damage wrought by Bette. B.D. married very young, at 16, and still she did not cut the cord from her mother. She allowed herself to be bullied and bludgeoned by her mother's lawyer and this, in turn, carried over to the rest of her family. How B.D. is still married I cannot fathom. How this man did not walk out on such a spineless individual, I haven't a clue. Perhaps that is why Bette was so epically pissed off all the time (if she indeed was). Here was her beloved daughter taking it lying down. Unacceptable, and I absolutely agree.
B.D., you have, unfortunately, no one to blame but yourself, though I know that's a bitter pill to swallow (and one you cannot accept, given this book). There is a great ending to a Degrassi episode in which Anya asks Holly J why she's so mean to her all the time. Holly J's response? "Because you let me." B.D. let her mother walk all over her, and then let her mother walk right on out of her life only to be a "born-again Christian" and start her own ministry. How creepy. That ministry is right here in Charlottesville, Virginia where I currently live. I'm actually a little bit terrified for my life right now, but kind of wanting to visit her church to see the batshit fruit of Bette Davis's womb.
It should be noted that Bette Davis also said in an interview (pre-My Mother's Keeper) that there was nothing wrong with homemaking and the her daughter, B.D., was excellent at it. I don't suppose I need to mention that B.D. grew up meeting Walt Disney and traveling lavish places and getting doted upon. B.D. says repeatedly how much her mother loved her, and she even KNOWS it to be true. Well, B.D., I can only quote "Confessions of an American Girl" : 'When someone gives you love, try not to shit on it."
All I can do in conclusion is just to leave you with this awesome quote from Bette:
"Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch. Maybe that's why [Joan Crawford] always plays ladies."
March 21, 2021
Can someone still like this book yet be disgusted by the author's actions? I guess so, as I do.
Total guilty pleasure read for someone interested in old movie stars. It's also a total cash-in on Mommie Dearest (a superior read by the way) by Bette Davis's daughter.
B.D. Hyman was as strong-willed as her mother, so the fireworks often came from that. She didn't really have as much of a leg to stand on in terms of a bad childhood compared to many (Christina Crawford included). Her mom had a strong personality, but wasn't a monster.
This book comes off as a somewhat childish reaction to being a celebrity daughter. B.D. Hyman has also turned out to be a bit of a freak herself, so that may explain my feelings.
Total guilty pleasure read for someone interested in old movie stars. It's also a total cash-in on Mommie Dearest (a superior read by the way) by Bette Davis's daughter.
B.D. Hyman was as strong-willed as her mother, so the fireworks often came from that. She didn't really have as much of a leg to stand on in terms of a bad childhood compared to many (Christina Crawford included). Her mom had a strong personality, but wasn't a monster.
This book comes off as a somewhat childish reaction to being a celebrity daughter. B.D. Hyman has also turned out to be a bit of a freak herself, so that may explain my feelings.
April 24, 2012
I gave the book one star due to the fact I didn't much care for BD Hyman. I read the book in 1986 and what I remember is that upon completing the book, I thought, gee, wish Bette Davis would have been my mother. I found the author self absorbed, and unkind to a woman who gave her evrything. There are no perfect parent; my heart goes out to all the children burdened with drug and alcohal enduced parents. One other fact is that the author couldn't wait until her mother passed away to publish the book; I don't believe her excuse - she wanted her mother to read the book and come to term with earch other, hello! Plan time together, face-to-face, in order to open up feeling and wounds. Presence is required in order to get and give feedback. One of the sadest things in life is losing some you love without the opportunity to mend fences!
September 25, 2008
I do not believe I have read another book in which the author describes herself repeatedly as "bellowing." It's unsettling. Additionally, the name "B. D. Hyman" sounds to me like a gynecological disorder.
The best part is when the author re-purposes herself as John the Baptist, envisioning the book as her "cry in the wilderness," a warning to her mother to straighen up and fly right. It seems unlikely that John the Baptist had quite the same intent when he issued his own cry, but then again, Bette Davis was perhaps more difficult to cope with than Jesus Christ.
Bottom line: Bette Davis--greatest actor of her generation. B.D. Hyman--who?
The best part is when the author re-purposes herself as John the Baptist, envisioning the book as her "cry in the wilderness," a warning to her mother to straighen up and fly right. It seems unlikely that John the Baptist had quite the same intent when he issued his own cry, but then again, Bette Davis was perhaps more difficult to cope with than Jesus Christ.
Bottom line: Bette Davis--greatest actor of her generation. B.D. Hyman--who?
August 28, 2014
Have you ever had a friend that has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and every story they tell you is about a fight they had? Every time you hear them tell another negative tale, you can't help but roll your eyes because you've heard it all 1,000 times before? You wonder, "why do they stay together? don't they realize they're a toxic pair?".
This non-stop ramble of terrible stories is the book that B.D. Hyman wrote about her mother, Bette Davis, just after Bette suffered the double whammy of breast cancer and 4 subsequent strokes. The fights detailed in this book range the entire gamut from clam digging fights to New Years fights to Bette charging into a restaurant kitchen to demand more steak (power to her).
Do I feel bad for B.D.? Not even a little bit. Do I think that she's an entitled, spoiled brat that cashed in on her famous mother the second she saw Christina Crawford's book sales? Absolutely. She packages this as "the last attempt to get through to a stubborn woman". I personally have known a few 80 something year old women, and they are not likely to change their ways so late in life. To even think that a woman who was not only a living legend, but notoriously stubborn, a perfectionist, and a workaholic, would change who she is based on this horribly written book is a laugh.
I hope B.D. found what she was looking for in Jesus, because she certainly didn't with this book.
This non-stop ramble of terrible stories is the book that B.D. Hyman wrote about her mother, Bette Davis, just after Bette suffered the double whammy of breast cancer and 4 subsequent strokes. The fights detailed in this book range the entire gamut from clam digging fights to New Years fights to Bette charging into a restaurant kitchen to demand more steak (power to her).
Do I feel bad for B.D.? Not even a little bit. Do I think that she's an entitled, spoiled brat that cashed in on her famous mother the second she saw Christina Crawford's book sales? Absolutely. She packages this as "the last attempt to get through to a stubborn woman". I personally have known a few 80 something year old women, and they are not likely to change their ways so late in life. To even think that a woman who was not only a living legend, but notoriously stubborn, a perfectionist, and a workaholic, would change who she is based on this horribly written book is a laugh.
I hope B.D. found what she was looking for in Jesus, because she certainly didn't with this book.
November 14, 2016
I read just over half the book. It seemed to try to make Bette Davis a bad person when it really only appeared to show a strong woman who only wanted to have love (instead of being used) and wanted her child to be strong & independent & happy.
July 2, 2016
Got to page 124 and could stand it no more. It doesn't matter who's child this woman was, she was a spoilt, ungrateful brat. The further I read the more vile I found her. She was happy to use her mother's money to fly herself here there and everywhere, to meet a man most parents would have considered a pervert, and talks of furs, hunting and pool houses as if they are everyone's norm. Even in her own words she tells of her film star mother cooking her meals, creating beautiful homes, sending her to the best schools and providing her with horses.
Pointless book from a pointless person. She herself says her mother bragged about her wherever she went, oh what a horror of a mother! Unbelievable that anyone so privileged can be so short sighted and self centred.
Pointless book from a pointless person. She herself says her mother bragged about her wherever she went, oh what a horror of a mother! Unbelievable that anyone so privileged can be so short sighted and self centred.
December 6, 2010
good lord this is the most horrific mess i have ever read. the author only succeeded in making herself look like an ungrateful brat. not even fun in a "Mommie Dearest" sort of way. Don't bother.
February 10, 2017
I read the book, and while some portions I found interesting - the author lost credibility. How could she remember all of those conversations verbatim? Also, what really shined through was LOVE. Bette, I am sure could be difficult, but she Loved and doted upon her daughter. Hate to be cynical, but this book was a money grab by a spoiled daughter and her opportunistic husband. On a side note, she is a huge religious person now - how does that reconcile with hurting ones Mother so? Not a fan.
March 7, 2018
I expected to dislike this book, and its author. I was wrong on both counts.
I thought this book was going to be a litany of "all the horrible things my mother did to me when I was little, which I saved up to put in a book when my life got boring". It was not.
Actually, Bette Davis' daughter B.D. wrote about many funny, endearing, and good moments with her mother, most of them at the beginning, when she was a child. It seems the older she got, the more mature she got, and the more independent she got, the more problems blossomed with her mother.
Having just read Kathryn Sermak's novel "Miss D. and Me", which came out last year, I wanted to continue my Bette Davis reading trend and have a go with her daughter's book, which caused such an uproar back in 1987.
I also watched a news interview with B.D. Hyman, and was surprised at how level-headed and sane and not at all unbalanced she sounded. I had expected her to be neurotic. She spoke well and clearly, and everything she said made sense. Amazing, considering her mother's antics.
Unlike Joan Crawford's daughter's book "Mommie Dearest", B.D. Hyman published hers intentionally NOT behind her mother's back. She said she never would have published the book after her mother's death, because the whole point would have been lost.
Bette Davis had a thing for hanging up the phone on people she disagreed with, and not letting them get their point across. This included anyone who criticized her bad behavior. Her daughter wrote this book as a sort of cumulative conversation that her mother could not hang up on, or interrupt. I kind of get that.
Bette Davis' long-time assistant, Kathryn Sermak (who let Bette Davis change the spelling of her first name from Catherine) basically let Bette Davis run all over her. In her book "Miss D. and Me", she even detailed a meeting between her parents and Bette Davis in which her parents extended an invitation to Ms. Davis to come to their house, to which Davis replied (my summary) "I don't need people like you to give me a social life. I have friends of my own, thank you very much." And Kathryn Sermak said... nothing. I don't care who it was, if they spoke to my parents like that and made them feel like shit for being kind and extending their hospitality, they'd have heard about it from me, brother. This perhaps explains why Ms. Sermak was with Bette Davis for so long. She would literally put up with anything. I liked Sermak's book, until I read this one.
Back to this book.
B.D. Hyman writes of her childhood with the unavoidable je n'ais c'est quois of the privileged. Modeling, horse ownership, trips to Cannes and wherever, dresses and jewelry galore, getting to pick Mommy's luxury home rental for the summer, etc. I mean, she grew up the daughter of Bette Davis, for godssakes, of course she would have been spoiled.
That aside, I think she comes across as very level-headed when it came to getting married (even at the tender age of 17 - ?!?!?!), because she viewed her husband and her children as her own family, a separate entity from her mother, that deserved respect and protection from her mother's passive aggression.
And brother, what a collection of passive-aggressive behavior did Bette Davis curate! Faked suicides to elicit attention, inviting people to a party and then dramatically throwing everyone out, claiming all the "hard work" (she had servants) of preparing for the party had worn her out, starting public fights with people and when those people got angry, saying "Don't do this to me!" as if she were the injured party. All fueled liberally by Scotch and cigarettes.
Manic phone calls preceding every visit to find out what everyone wanted to eat and drink, and when the family shows up for the weekend, the exact opposite is on offer. Then the huge dramatic rush to have the preferred items purchased and brought in - see the things I do for you? Jeez, Louise. The book was frustrating in that it took YEARS for B.D. to finally put a stop to the nonsense. It basically took Bette Davis abusing B.D.'s son Justin for her to finally end the madness. I would have been over it after the first time she publicly called my husband a bastard for no reason whatsoever.
There were a few times during this book that I laughed out loud - during the ridiculous public scenes Bette Davis would make at restaurants, after drinking a bottle of Scotch. I can laugh, because I wasn't there being embarrassed, but seriously, she could have taken her act on the stage at comedy shows and made a killing.
My favorite scene in the book is where B.D. and her aunt foil Bette Davis by setting her up with a rich sugar cane farmer who is crazy about her, and he ends up following her all over the place, sending a dozen roses EVERY DAY to wherever she happens to be. That was hysterical, because Bette was baffled at how he kept knowing where she was, and what the hell do you do with a dozen roses every day?!?! HA!
I still love Bette Davis as an actress, through the distance of time and not having actually ever had to deal with her in person. She was magic on the screen, and she paid her dues in Hollywood, and she was a legend, and I give her all credit where it's due on that score. Absolutely.
But what a nightmare she was to anyone she had under her thumb, whether her family or her employees!
I thought this book was going to be a litany of "all the horrible things my mother did to me when I was little, which I saved up to put in a book when my life got boring". It was not.
Actually, Bette Davis' daughter B.D. wrote about many funny, endearing, and good moments with her mother, most of them at the beginning, when she was a child. It seems the older she got, the more mature she got, and the more independent she got, the more problems blossomed with her mother.
Having just read Kathryn Sermak's novel "Miss D. and Me", which came out last year, I wanted to continue my Bette Davis reading trend and have a go with her daughter's book, which caused such an uproar back in 1987.
I also watched a news interview with B.D. Hyman, and was surprised at how level-headed and sane and not at all unbalanced she sounded. I had expected her to be neurotic. She spoke well and clearly, and everything she said made sense. Amazing, considering her mother's antics.
Unlike Joan Crawford's daughter's book "Mommie Dearest", B.D. Hyman published hers intentionally NOT behind her mother's back. She said she never would have published the book after her mother's death, because the whole point would have been lost.
Bette Davis had a thing for hanging up the phone on people she disagreed with, and not letting them get their point across. This included anyone who criticized her bad behavior. Her daughter wrote this book as a sort of cumulative conversation that her mother could not hang up on, or interrupt. I kind of get that.
Bette Davis' long-time assistant, Kathryn Sermak (who let Bette Davis change the spelling of her first name from Catherine) basically let Bette Davis run all over her. In her book "Miss D. and Me", she even detailed a meeting between her parents and Bette Davis in which her parents extended an invitation to Ms. Davis to come to their house, to which Davis replied (my summary) "I don't need people like you to give me a social life. I have friends of my own, thank you very much." And Kathryn Sermak said... nothing. I don't care who it was, if they spoke to my parents like that and made them feel like shit for being kind and extending their hospitality, they'd have heard about it from me, brother. This perhaps explains why Ms. Sermak was with Bette Davis for so long. She would literally put up with anything. I liked Sermak's book, until I read this one.
Back to this book.
B.D. Hyman writes of her childhood with the unavoidable je n'ais c'est quois of the privileged. Modeling, horse ownership, trips to Cannes and wherever, dresses and jewelry galore, getting to pick Mommy's luxury home rental for the summer, etc. I mean, she grew up the daughter of Bette Davis, for godssakes, of course she would have been spoiled.
That aside, I think she comes across as very level-headed when it came to getting married (even at the tender age of 17 - ?!?!?!), because she viewed her husband and her children as her own family, a separate entity from her mother, that deserved respect and protection from her mother's passive aggression.
And brother, what a collection of passive-aggressive behavior did Bette Davis curate! Faked suicides to elicit attention, inviting people to a party and then dramatically throwing everyone out, claiming all the "hard work" (she had servants) of preparing for the party had worn her out, starting public fights with people and when those people got angry, saying "Don't do this to me!" as if she were the injured party. All fueled liberally by Scotch and cigarettes.
Manic phone calls preceding every visit to find out what everyone wanted to eat and drink, and when the family shows up for the weekend, the exact opposite is on offer. Then the huge dramatic rush to have the preferred items purchased and brought in - see the things I do for you? Jeez, Louise. The book was frustrating in that it took YEARS for B.D. to finally put a stop to the nonsense. It basically took Bette Davis abusing B.D.'s son Justin for her to finally end the madness. I would have been over it after the first time she publicly called my husband a bastard for no reason whatsoever.
There were a few times during this book that I laughed out loud - during the ridiculous public scenes Bette Davis would make at restaurants, after drinking a bottle of Scotch. I can laugh, because I wasn't there being embarrassed, but seriously, she could have taken her act on the stage at comedy shows and made a killing.
My favorite scene in the book is where B.D. and her aunt foil Bette Davis by setting her up with a rich sugar cane farmer who is crazy about her, and he ends up following her all over the place, sending a dozen roses EVERY DAY to wherever she happens to be. That was hysterical, because Bette was baffled at how he kept knowing where she was, and what the hell do you do with a dozen roses every day?!?! HA!
I still love Bette Davis as an actress, through the distance of time and not having actually ever had to deal with her in person. She was magic on the screen, and she paid her dues in Hollywood, and she was a legend, and I give her all credit where it's due on that score. Absolutely.
But what a nightmare she was to anyone she had under her thumb, whether her family or her employees!
April 6, 2016
A very interesting book told from Bette Davis' daughter's point of view. She's pretty harsh about how she felt her mother treated her, but who's to say it didn't actually happen that way. Not as bad as Christina Crawford's book, but close. First read it ages ago when I borrowed a copy from my sister in law. Decided to get it from the library for a re-read. If you like to read about the "scandalous" lives of the actors and actresses from the golden age of Hollywood this book would be right up your alley.
May 9, 2013
So Bette Davis was a melodramatic harpy? Quelle surprise!
B.D. Hyman, Bette Davis' only biological child (She also had two adopted children: Michael, who stopped communicating with B.D. after this book, and Margot, who was later found to be brain damaged and institutionalized.), came up with her own equivalent to that ungrateful, failed actress Christina Crawford's hatchet job of her mother Joan. Unfortunately, Bette was still alive to read it, and spent the remaining few years of her life in misery, addled by strokes.
While there is no doubt that the battles that raged between Bette and fourth husband Gary Merrill were traumatic for the young B.D. and Michael, the rest of the book comes off as boring, petulant whining from a teenager. Perhaps not surprisingly, B.D. was merely 16 years old when Bette gave her permission to marry a man (30 at the time) whom she'd known for just a few weeks; she doesn't seem to have matured much past that age. If what B.D. writes is true (and Michael was just angry at her for telling tales out of school), then Bette was an alcoholic with a serious case of borderline personality disorder. Everyone needed to be on eggshells around her, as she would turn from sweet to raging, swearing fury at the turn of a phrase. If B.D. was just a whiny brat, then Bette was tough, yes, but devoted to her daughter (financially supporting her for years) and turned to alcohol when her career inevitably dried up, as it does for all actresses of a certain age. I suspect the truth is somewhere in between.
Anyway, this book is a dull litany of oddly food obsessed fights. Bette is always shown ranting about lobster, cold cuts, Coca-Cola, orange juice, salmon, mussels, milk, and on and on. And she liked to be the center of attention at parties. Again, shocker. She's Bette F-ing Davis.
The most unconscionable story here is when B.D.'s older son, Ashley, gets stunt cast in a movie with his grandmother. B.D. sends him off to New York alone (he's 11), which, if what she's told us is true, borders on child abuse. Then, when the shoot stretches into three months, and Bette allegedly cuts off contact between B.D. and Ashley, and she's hearing horror stories about Bette threatening to spank him, not wash his laundry, controlling his meals, and belittling him on set, and someone suggests to B.D. she go to New York to get Bette under control, B.D. refuses, because she doesn't want to deal with her mother's shit. SHE SENDS HER SON ALONE, BELIEVES HE IS BEING MENTALLY ABUSED, AND DOES NOTHING. Nice lady.
Soon after writing this book, B.D. found Jesus, and she's spent the rest of her life in fundamental ministry. You can still see her preaching on television on Sunday afternoons.
B.D. Hyman, Bette Davis' only biological child (She also had two adopted children: Michael, who stopped communicating with B.D. after this book, and Margot, who was later found to be brain damaged and institutionalized.), came up with her own equivalent to that ungrateful, failed actress Christina Crawford's hatchet job of her mother Joan. Unfortunately, Bette was still alive to read it, and spent the remaining few years of her life in misery, addled by strokes.
While there is no doubt that the battles that raged between Bette and fourth husband Gary Merrill were traumatic for the young B.D. and Michael, the rest of the book comes off as boring, petulant whining from a teenager. Perhaps not surprisingly, B.D. was merely 16 years old when Bette gave her permission to marry a man (30 at the time) whom she'd known for just a few weeks; she doesn't seem to have matured much past that age. If what B.D. writes is true (and Michael was just angry at her for telling tales out of school), then Bette was an alcoholic with a serious case of borderline personality disorder. Everyone needed to be on eggshells around her, as she would turn from sweet to raging, swearing fury at the turn of a phrase. If B.D. was just a whiny brat, then Bette was tough, yes, but devoted to her daughter (financially supporting her for years) and turned to alcohol when her career inevitably dried up, as it does for all actresses of a certain age. I suspect the truth is somewhere in between.
Anyway, this book is a dull litany of oddly food obsessed fights. Bette is always shown ranting about lobster, cold cuts, Coca-Cola, orange juice, salmon, mussels, milk, and on and on. And she liked to be the center of attention at parties. Again, shocker. She's Bette F-ing Davis.
The most unconscionable story here is when B.D.'s older son, Ashley, gets stunt cast in a movie with his grandmother. B.D. sends him off to New York alone (he's 11), which, if what she's told us is true, borders on child abuse. Then, when the shoot stretches into three months, and Bette allegedly cuts off contact between B.D. and Ashley, and she's hearing horror stories about Bette threatening to spank him, not wash his laundry, controlling his meals, and belittling him on set, and someone suggests to B.D. she go to New York to get Bette under control, B.D. refuses, because she doesn't want to deal with her mother's shit. SHE SENDS HER SON ALONE, BELIEVES HE IS BEING MENTALLY ABUSED, AND DOES NOTHING. Nice lady.
Soon after writing this book, B.D. found Jesus, and she's spent the rest of her life in fundamental ministry. You can still see her preaching on television on Sunday afternoons.
November 30, 2011
So Bette Davis was a bitch...duh. Hyman's portrayal of her relationship and responses to her mother seem condescendingly contrived. The dialogue felt very "fluffed up," serving Hyman's self-depiction as a strong, yet long-suffering martyr...and Davis as a crazed, manipulative bitch. While the latter is probably true, I kept asking myself, "What is the PURPOSE of this book?"
At least I'd want to have Bette Davis over for cocktails. If I invited B.D. she would probably behave like a patronizing party kill.
At least I'd want to have Bette Davis over for cocktails. If I invited B.D. she would probably behave like a patronizing party kill.
July 27, 2012
I watched a Dick Cavett show with Bette Davis from the 70s when I was about halfway through this book, and decided I was done with it. BD was spoiled rotten and yes, her mom probably was a real pill to live with, but a book that reads "and then she said, and then I said" is DULL. I'll pick up Bette's autobiographies instead because I'm sure they are anything but boring.
June 14, 2011
B.D. Hyman, Bette Davis' daughter tells her version of her life with her mother. She presents her mother as rather crazy. I don't know what to believe-although i probably think the daughter is correct. She says she wrote the book so her mother would listen to her for once. How sad.
August 27, 2013
She came across oblivious to her own dishonor of her legendary mother. I thought she did this out of envy and spite. Those that choose to run down relatives in this way are just running down themselves. She is weak and petty. Who knows the truth about anyone in that toxic business? This "authoress" is a horrible warning story.
December 12, 2013
This actually made me feel sorry for Bette. B.D. really is a "cold bitch" as her mom frequently calls her. Bette's actions are extremely annoying but honestly not much worse than what most people put up with from family members.
July 6, 2015
A detailed review to come. I obviously have a lot to say about this book.
February 18, 2013
Oh children of legends... when will you learn? This "tell-all" comes on the cusp of the more well known novel by Christina Crawford's (daughter of Joan Crawford) "Mommy Dearest." To me, this book is even more ridiculous. This has nothing to do with being bias. I was never a die hard Bette Davis fan. This is simply a matter of deciphering the truth behind the words of a pampered princess.
B.D. Hyman, daughter of screen legend Bette Davis, wrote this tell all novel a few years prior to her mother's death. Hyman claimed it was done in an effort to make her mother understand the turmoil her behavior had caused in her daughter's life. Yes... because we all know trying to change a woman in her eighties is going to work well.
The thing about this book is B.D. did not have a terrible life! I am still wondering what she is whining about? Her mother craved her attention, her mother was a "pest," she stuck her nose into everything, and tried to tell her daughter how to parent... welcome to EVERY CHILD's LIFE! She was being... a mother!
Now I know that no one can recall conversations verbatim from years ago but some of the ways B.D. writes about incidents are just... too much. No eleven year old child, talking back to his grandmother, is going to say "now I know I am not suppose to argue with you but..." Additionally, does anyone else see how B.D. only ever speaks elegantly, calmly, and rationally in every conversation while her mother is spewing nonsense? Yes, because children NEVER lose their cool.
What I dislike most about this novel is how unappreciative Bette's daughter is. She met and married an English businessman that she met while on a European tour to promote her mother's movie, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" In it, B.D. landed a small role, with the insistence of her mother. (She plays the next door neighbor's daughter). So, you met your husband because your terribly awful mother took you with her all over the world. She also paid for your lavished wedding... how awful of her.
Later in the story, B.D. claims that she is spending far too much time catering to her mother. Yet some years, she only sees her mother two, three times. To me, her mother was lonely and B.D. was her everything. She wanted to be around her daughter, she wanted attention and B.D. desired the money and fame without the hassle. Call it what you will but B.D. drops enough celebrity names throughout the book for it to be anything less than bragging.
Many people condemned this book that knew both Davis and her daughter. Accounts say that what the book fails to mention is that Davis helped her daughter stay afloat when their family almost lost their farm. She threw her elaborate parties throughout the years to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Friends of the family say that B.D. never seemed to mind when Bette was footing the bill for these things.
Now I will agree to this. Bette seemed to have a drinking problem later in life when her work offers began to dwindle. That being said, B.D. still sends her son off with Bette alone for three months so that he can star in a movie alongside his grandmother. Guess B.D. didnt think it was that big a deal?
This book was the first book B.D. Hyman wrote. She followed it with another book that spoke about Davis and segwayed into how B.D. became a born again Christian from this experience. Surprise, Surprise... B.D. then began writing Christian novels... still using mommy's fame to get rich I see.
To sum it up? Tragic... sad... unnecessary. Also, sometimes we do not have to constantly use the thesaurus to interject big words so the reader can deem us smart.
B.D. Hyman, daughter of screen legend Bette Davis, wrote this tell all novel a few years prior to her mother's death. Hyman claimed it was done in an effort to make her mother understand the turmoil her behavior had caused in her daughter's life. Yes... because we all know trying to change a woman in her eighties is going to work well.
The thing about this book is B.D. did not have a terrible life! I am still wondering what she is whining about? Her mother craved her attention, her mother was a "pest," she stuck her nose into everything, and tried to tell her daughter how to parent... welcome to EVERY CHILD's LIFE! She was being... a mother!
Now I know that no one can recall conversations verbatim from years ago but some of the ways B.D. writes about incidents are just... too much. No eleven year old child, talking back to his grandmother, is going to say "now I know I am not suppose to argue with you but..." Additionally, does anyone else see how B.D. only ever speaks elegantly, calmly, and rationally in every conversation while her mother is spewing nonsense? Yes, because children NEVER lose their cool.
What I dislike most about this novel is how unappreciative Bette's daughter is. She met and married an English businessman that she met while on a European tour to promote her mother's movie, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" In it, B.D. landed a small role, with the insistence of her mother. (She plays the next door neighbor's daughter). So, you met your husband because your terribly awful mother took you with her all over the world. She also paid for your lavished wedding... how awful of her.
Later in the story, B.D. claims that she is spending far too much time catering to her mother. Yet some years, she only sees her mother two, three times. To me, her mother was lonely and B.D. was her everything. She wanted to be around her daughter, she wanted attention and B.D. desired the money and fame without the hassle. Call it what you will but B.D. drops enough celebrity names throughout the book for it to be anything less than bragging.
Many people condemned this book that knew both Davis and her daughter. Accounts say that what the book fails to mention is that Davis helped her daughter stay afloat when their family almost lost their farm. She threw her elaborate parties throughout the years to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Friends of the family say that B.D. never seemed to mind when Bette was footing the bill for these things.
Now I will agree to this. Bette seemed to have a drinking problem later in life when her work offers began to dwindle. That being said, B.D. still sends her son off with Bette alone for three months so that he can star in a movie alongside his grandmother. Guess B.D. didnt think it was that big a deal?
This book was the first book B.D. Hyman wrote. She followed it with another book that spoke about Davis and segwayed into how B.D. became a born again Christian from this experience. Surprise, Surprise... B.D. then began writing Christian novels... still using mommy's fame to get rich I see.
To sum it up? Tragic... sad... unnecessary. Also, sometimes we do not have to constantly use the thesaurus to interject big words so the reader can deem us smart.
March 26, 2017
I pretty much disliked this book on every level. It came off to me as a bitter and sad view from the life of a privileged Hollywood daughter who never felt she had "enough". The reason I disliked it was because by the time I read it, I had already heard that most people close to Bette had discounted it as false, including her son. Even though I am a fan of Bette Davis and her acting, I decided to read it with an open mind. I remember waiting for the point where things got "real bad" and I never saw it. Maybe she wasn't the ideal Mother but, I failed to see where she deserved the bashing she received in this book. To me, this was a waste of time and sad due to the fact that it cemented the end of a Parent/Child relationship forever.
August 28, 2013
I liked having another intimate portrait in Bette Davis' life. I am so fascinated by her. I do think that it was mean of BD to publish this, considering it was about her own mother, who had given her so many things. Regardless, I am always happy to have the juicy tidbits in my fingers and be able to read them anyway. Maybe some of her feelings towards Ms. Davis were justified so I can't judge her too much.
January 1, 2012
Interesting at first, but interest waned after the same incidences were repeated over and over. A lot of whining and I was left not really knowing the truth, it is a one-sided account. Not recommended!
October 27, 2008
Gosh, Bette Davis as a mother was very complicated and so high needs and controlling but not half as bad a mother as her arch nemesis Joan Crawford.
September 17, 2010
I would give this book a higher rating, as it is a page turning good book, but it is so hard to imagine that it is all true. Makes Moomy Dearest seem like a guide to parenting.
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