Unmarriages: Women, Men, and Sexual Unions in the Middle Ages

by Ruth Mazo Karras

Awarded the 2012 Joan Kelly Memorial Prize in Women's History by the American Historical Association. The Middle Ages are often viewed as a repository of tradition, yet what we think of as traditional marriage was far from the only available alternative to the single state in medieval Europe. Many people lived together in long-term, quasimarital heterosexual relationships, unable to marry if one was in holy orders or if the partners were of different religions. Social norms militated against the marriage of master to slave or between individuals of very different classes, or when the couple was so poor that they could not establish an independent household. Such unions, where the protections that medieval law furnished to wives (and their children) were absent, were fraught with danger for women in particular, but they also provided a degree of flexibility and demonstrate the adaptability of social customs in the face of slowly changing religious doctrine. Unmarriages draws on a wide range of sources from across Europe and the entire medieval millennium in order to investigate structures and relations that medieval authors and record keepers did not address directly, either in order to minimize them or because they were so common as not to be worth mentioning. Ruth Mazo Karras pays particular attention to the ways women and men experienced forms of opposite-sex union differently and to the implications for power relations between the genders. She treats legal and theological discussions that applied to all of Europe and presents a vivid series of case studies of how unions operated in specific circumstances to illustrate concretely what we can conclude, how far we can speculate, and what we can never know.

Genres: History, Medieval, Nonfiction, Medieval History, Academic, Sexuality, Sociology

296 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[boogenhagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another really good look and various types of unions in the middle ages and how they were similar and different from our own today. If you read historical romance, this is a good background book about actual relations between couples in the time period. I also found it amazing how many supposed marriages for life weren't and honestly, divorce or the equivalent was just as prevalent then as it is now.

Ironically in English history, Henry VIII's take-over of the English church to get his own divorce pretty much messed up divorce for everybody else who came after. However the words for the day with this book would be "Annulment" and "Non-contract" and depending on your family was and how much power you had determined who had to stay married, who did not count as married and who could get out of a bad marriage if they wanted to and interestingly it wasn't always the men who won or tried to get out of it.

[a duck · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Unmarriages: Women, Men, and Sexual Unions in the Middle Ages, Ruth M. Karras attempts to shed light on the relationships that existed just beyond the limits of acceptable marriage. During the Middle Ages, the definition of marriage was continuously shifting and responding to logistical questions and religious disputes. Karras outlines how Church officials, alongside civic and criminal courts, attempted to control the sexual lives of those they held power over. Beyond the walls of the courthouse and the letters of bishops and popes, however, laypeople were shaping their own relationships and forming long-term partnerships, both for sexual pleasure and emotional companionship. Unmarriages focuses on this gray area, using legal documents as well as the lives and experiences of those who either outright disobeyed their legal or religious teachings or simply were unaware of any such restrictions.
Focusing each chapter on different types of relationships and the sources that tell us about them, Karras creates a comprehensive survey of the “marriages” deemed immoral or illegal. The first chapter, “The Church and the Regulation of Unions between Women and Men,” summarizes the centuries of law and theology that formed the medieval understanding, or lack thereof, of marriage. From unruly rulers like Lothar, king of Lothringia, who attempted to manipulate marriage and its indissolubility to fit their own political needs, to the clerics and laymen who consciously formed sexual relationships without seeking marriage, the Church’s attempts to cement marriage regulation met with confusion and deliberate dismissal at various levels of society. Additionally, Karras underlines the difficulty of implementing these rules throughout the Christian world, claiming that some unconventional couples cohabitated peacefully unless a neighbor or passerby remarked on their unorthodox relationship.
The next three chapters instead focus on different types of relationships. “Unequal Unions” reveals not only the power hierarchy that might force slaves and servants, particularly women, to engage in sexual relationships with their masters, but looks more broadly at couples who faced unsurpassable obstacles that kept them from being legally married. Restrictions on religious differences, including those involving a Jewish or Muslim partner, were influenced not only by the prejudices against the non-Christian religions often found woven throughout Europe, but also by fears that Christian women would be lured into sin. Further, Karras includes examples of women who did not have a choice in beginning a sexual relationship, either because the man demanding it was their owner, their employer, or held another form of power over her. She illustrates this through the story of Melkorka, a slave sold to Hoskuld Dala-Kolsson, who brought her to Iceland and began a sexual relationship with her. Melkorka, however, never spoke, remaining silent until Hoskuld discovered her speaking with her child. Demanding an explanation, the girl revealed her identity as a kidnapped princess, fallen from the courts of Ireland to the slave trade. Whether this tale was true or not, Melkorka managed to secure better treatment for herself and a wealthy foster-parent for her son. As Karras states, some women trapped in these unequal relationships were able to manipulate the situation to their own benefit or that of their children.
While nobles and laypeople may be expected to be either unaware of or unbothered by the complex theological discourse surrounding marriage, the clergy itself was not immune to such scandals either. “Priests and Their Partners” examines the companions of the clergy, demonstrating the array of interpretations regarding the chastity of priests. Beyond listing cases in which clerics were charged for adultery, sexual comments, or “defloration”, Karras emphasizes the long-term relationships that spanned decades and resulted in multiple children. Further, the line between simulating marital relationships that were meant to be barred from priests and simply cohabitating with a woman is blurred, and reveals the lack of a cemented, clearly understood definition of marriage. Most striking is laypeople’s interpretation of marriage not only as a duty, but as a right that belonged solely to them. Karras writes that “people worried not that their priests were polluted and therefore invalidating the sacrament, but rather that they were encroaching on what laypeople saw as their own privilege.” (pg. 148)
The final chapter, “On the Margins”, further exposes the loose definition of marriage and the struggles of enforcing such terms not only within courts, but also in the minds of the masses. The episodes recounted by Karras include courts trying to decipher which suitor an individual engaged to multiple partners was legally bound to. These cases focus on instances where people’s households were in disarray, such as long-term, extramarital affairs in which the lover expected some form of compensation, be it formalized marriage or monetary. Trials like this show that, for some individuals, the definition of “wife”, in a broad sense, was not stationary, as it might expand beyond legal confines. The confusion and disagreement surrounding proper betrothal, inheritance, dowry, and marriage procedures expanded beyond the laypeople stuck in complex webs of promises, children, debts, and payments to the court officials tasked with unraveling them.
While Karras covers a variety of relationships, she focuses on those that closely resembled the type of marriage that would occur within the walls of a church. This means that, as she admits in the Introduction, Unmarriages excludes long-term same-sex relationships. While interracial relationships are briefly touched on, Karras could expand on such cases to provide a fuller overview of partnerships that were barred from legally uniting, but still mimicked marriage. Further, Karras includes within her definition of marriage-like relationships one-sided affairs. The aforementioned Melkorka was a slave, kidnapped and brought to a foreign land where she was raped and forced to bear her owner’s child. While her silence may be interpreted as a means to regain some form of control, it may very well simply be a response to the extensive trauma she experiences. Expanding the definition of marriage or marriage-like relationships to such instances may be taking it too far.
Unmarriages provides insight into the cultural interpretations of marriage in the middle ages, expanding the discourse of the evolution of marriage to the couples that simulated legal relationships. Karras breaks down the boundaries of marriage to reveal the heterosexual, long-term partnerships that walked the fine line between legally recognized marriage and nameless affairs. Yet defining unequal relationships, such as those between servants and masters, as resembling marriage risks expanding its definition beyond what is reasonable. Was Melkorka an “un”-wife, or was she a victim?

[Julie Yates]

DNF at 55%. Absolutely a me issue I think I’m more interested in the history of marital contract changes caused by church councils as compared to a deep dive into marriage- like unions, which this book deeply explorers, including multiple examples. (do love any book that has the history of John of Gaunt mistress turned wife Katheryn Swynford)

[Kourtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Karras delves into the world of sexual relationships in the medieval ages in which people did not marry. I found this really interesting and easy to read. Also it is a topic that I did not know a whole lot about but I felt she did a good job in informing the reader about the topic.