Misguided Sensitivity

by Philip Nork

The journey we are on is a difficult one, even more so for
those from a broken family.
Follow one boy as he searches for the two desires we all
have in common: to be accepted by others, and to be
truly happy.
Life continues through the good and the bad, and each and every person you meet along the way leaves pieces behind, like a jigsaw puzzle, for you to piece together as you grow and learn. And as you put those pieces
together, you hopefully become a better person for it.
We are indeed all connected, and everything you do really does matter and will always affect someone else in one way or another.

180 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Philip Nork was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago, IL.

After the divorce of his parents and his journey to find the acceptance and happiness he thought he had lost due to it, he was able to use the experiences and life lessons, which were given to him by the special females who he met, to form the basis of his realistic fiction books.

All 10 of his books have this common theme: You never know when a person will enter your life and broaden your horizons forever.

Philip lives in Henderson, NV with his family and you can go to www.PhilipNork.com to see more information about him and his writings.

Reviews

[Craig D · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book. I may take some heat for this but I would compare it somewhat to the writings of Ernest Hemingway in the way the author is so straightforward in describing his adventures growing up. Being a sensitive boy who was more tuned into girls and what they wanted, the author constantly struggles to make an appropriate lasting connection with women. Initially used by troubled high school girls as a sexual outlet and later by a long line of young adult troubled women, all while experiencing a rather nontraditional family life, the author gives us an interesting coming of age story. Although some of the spirituality elements seem a bit contrived, the actual nuts and bolts life history of the author makes for an interesting adventure somewhat akin to the movie “Boogie Nights”. I’m looking forward to reading his next book which I understand is in a similar style.

[Martha Cheves · Rating 5 out of 5]

Misguided Sensitivity – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat; Think With Your Taste Buds; A Book and A Dish

In the 1960’s the typical family consisted of a stay-at-home mother, a working father, and some kids. As you grew up you were exposed to an equal amount of boy things and girl things. In my world that never happened. We three kids were raised by a divorced mother and her side of the family. For reasons I did not know, my father deserted the family when I turned eight. He was also on his own journey of self-discovery; it just took him longer than the average man to realize it. He left us kids with a mother who had no skills and no money. Mom could have just given up and slipped into a world of denial. Instead, she decided to learn a trade, get a job, and she tried to give the three of us a decent childhood. In my eight-year-old eyes, she was a hero. Especially between the ages of eight and fifteen my mom was my voice of reason. I idolized her, I respected her, and I hoped to one day marry someone just like her. Between her and her side of the family we were taken care of, loved, and given the nurturing we needed to hopefully become normal, productive adults. And yet my life took a bad turn after my dad left us.

After his father left, Phil stepped into a state of depression spending most his time alone and in his room. The only person he allowed to bring him out of his shell was his great grandmother whom he called Nana. When she died, Phil stepped even deeper into himself. He became angry with God but also thought that perhaps God was punishing him for some unknown reason. His Nana had taught him many lessons during their time together but the one that started his journey into life was when she told him ‘you will meet many people throughout your life and if you want them to remember you, you must always be a little different, you must be sincere, and you must make them feel special, especially the girls.’ This lesson became the beginning of many more that Phil would start adding to his list.

Through these lessons and the people who taught him, Phil took on three distinct lives. He became Disco Phil who gave the girls whatever they wanted. At the Burger Shack he became a leader who listened to and offered advice to the girls who needed it. And at school he was just another face in the crowd. But what will happen if either of these lives come together? Phil is not only a good listener that makes the girls feel special but he is also a good learner with some of the girls being the teachers.

Back in the 1960/70s one in every ten teenagers were affected by divorce. Most keep their feelings and pain to themselves and release it through drugs, alcohol and sometimes even sex. As I read Misguided Sensitivity I was able to see how many of the girls took the route of sex as their way of forgetting and feeling as if someone did care and love them. I believe most boys turned more to alcohol and drugs. Phil was one of the sensitive kids who released his anger through compassion, attention and understanding for others. It takes him from the back rows of the drive-ins to the motel rooms of older women. Is he really hurting anyone? Is he really helping them? Is he being used by those he tries to help? Or is he just hurting himself? These are the questions that jump around in your mind as you read Misguided Sensitivity.

In my opinion, Misguided Sensitivity is a book that should be read by all young men and even a few women.

Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com

[Cindy Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given this book by the author.

Philip takes us on a young boy's journey to manhood. Phil is the child of divorce and he is guided by the words of his Nana and his religious beliefs.

He is insecure and wants to be accepted so he starts a list of how to treat people, as each person reacts positively to something it gets added.

Well, his sexuality starts to be an issue and he learns from gay friends how to be himself at the disco and at the rink/ When he learns the mechanics, he decides that "helping the girls" is the right thing to do. He finds, however, that he feels used.

He becomes a sought after sexual partner for a series of one-night stands and eventually becomes a "man for hire".

As sensitive as he seems to be, he never seems to realize that most of what he thinks is self-serving. He never really wonders why, after a night of "perfect sex" not many want a second. He doesn't see that some might find the giving of a rose from the glovebox might not be as "romantic" as he thinks.

His list of "rules" when applied work with any person you meet. Be honest, listen to them, hear them and sow your true feelings. Great lessons.

I wish to qualify this review. Philip writes so well you immediately want the best for Phil. Many experiences he describes I also had. However, I am female and have only sisters, therefore I have no "male perspective". If a female had done the same things sexually as he did, even if for the same reasons, I doubt "respect" would be a word associated with her. I felt sorry that he seemed to be used and was unable to see it. This is a GREAT story! I look forward to reading more by Philip!

[M.A Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 out of 5 stars. The story of this boy growing into a man and the choices he makes are touching. Not really as much as aww how sweet but more in the it touches your soul and connects you with the story. The struggles and choices you read are so in depth that you can’t help but feel the emotions running through the people in the story. As you meet each new person and learn about them you really notice we are all the same on the inside. We all really do have problems and face challenges that we don’t always voice. And all we really want is to feel loved, safe and comfortable in our own skin and with those around us.

[Amy Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational!

I enjoyed this book, so much that I read through it twice before writing my review. It is tailored to young men who will learn how to be loving, caring, real men but it is a good read for anyone, male or female, especially those who need that inspiration or little pick-me-up. We all need support. In our lives there are others and the actions of others that can affect our lives and it's what do with that to determine our life's path. If you are looking for a emotional, supportive, inspirational book, this is the book to read. All readers will want to share it with their families, especially young sons and daughters.

[Carla Knowlton · Rating 4 out of 5]

At times, my heart broke, "watching" some of the choices Nork made, sensing the results to come. At times, I rejoiced that a male, especially at such a young age, would have such keen insight to the minds and hearts of women. Recommended!

[Julie Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Misguided Sensitivity by Philip Nork
This book starts out with the author's struggles through childhood as his parents divorced.
He had others in his life as he grew up and treasures everything he learns from them. The lessons he learned are listed in the chapters.
Love that he is able to get something and give something to others in return and how he meets them again later in life.
Remember our skating days and wondered if I ever skated past my spouse as we didn't know one another til 10 years later-fond memories.
Author writes his side of the story and you get a glimpse of the other's thoughts as well. Love school writing assignment where the class all realize one major thing that effects them all. Everybody has their own plan of action to be accepted into society.
Love the definition of acquaintance and I have a ton of them, LOL
Feel like I've learned so much and it's been right in front of me the whole time. Can't wait to read other works by this author.
Received this copy from the author and this is my honest review.

[David Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life is a journey and we all learn lessons along the way. Misguided Sensitivity by Phillip Nork is a look at one boy’s search to be happy and excepted by others. The story begins in the 1960s and follows a boy named Phillip who was raised by a stay at home mother and a working father. He has two siblings and at the age of eight years old his parents divorced and he was brought up by his mother and her side of the family. Phillip was mainly raised by females, the closest people to him were his mother and Great grandmother.

He was taught at a young age to respect women and make them feel special. Also as a kid he listened in on his mother and several friends from the neighborhood talk about how bad typical men were. He decided at that point he didn’t want to be a typical man and went out of his way to be different from everyone else. What comes next is the boys lessons in life that he learned from all the women he met while growing up. It also looks at how each experience turned him into the adult he is today.

Phillip Nork states in the beginning of the book that it is based in truth with names and places changed to protect people’s identity. This is a well written memoir that young adults can learn a lot from. Personally I found it a little hard to relate to because I have never experienced the things that he has gone through and never met anyone like him. I also found the book overly sentimental and even though they weren’t graphic, I got tired of the sex scenes. I’ve read a lot of biographies that had funny moments and not so serious moments but this one was different. Misguided Sensitivity was a serious book that was trying to teach life lessons and not to entertain.

I did find Misguided Sensitivity to be an informative book. Phillip Nork was telling what he learned from the people who have gone in and out of his life so the reader can look at their own life and learn from it. I liked seeing how Phillip changed by the end of the book. I also thought it was interesting learning about how divorce affected Phillip. My favorite scene was when Marcy makes Phillip realize he is not alone. Several kids have to deal with divorce and this book shows how it changed Phillip’s life. Phillip was looking to be accepted and loved. He found that the journey to what you want is never easy. This is a good self discovery book that I think young male readers can learn a lot from.

[Book Lovers Never Go to Bed Alone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ever since the advent of the "confesson" novel, memoirs have become big business. Everyone from the latest celebrity to the neighbor's hamster has one out. I approached Philip Nork's with caution. A boy's journey based on real events. A familiar road here?

By the end of chapter one, my fears fell away. By the end of chapter two, I was swept up in the poignancy and power of Nork's writing. Yes, the novel is based on the author's life. Yes, it's about subjects of which we are quite familiar. Divorce, isolation, fear, rejection. But Nork's handling of these subjects brings us back to universal themes that we can all identify with at some point in our lives. He elevates this journey beyond the specific of his life. He weaves a tale connected to each and every one of us.

In its most simple description, this book is about a boy's journey through the pain of childhood. But it's about far more. It's about those truths that cannot be put into a blog, a review, or a blurb. They are the truths of life. The truths of self-discovery. Our truths.

[Sonia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was given to me by the author in return for an honest review. It's about a guy writing about how he learned about sex and he used it to his advantage to help him build his confidence. But honestly, it's more than that. The author had to deal with life changing situations when he was very young and all he wanted was approval and acceptance and not be alone. I felt he let himself be used by so many females in order to be accepted. I was not really interested in reading about all the sexual escapades he wrote about, but it all came down to why he let himself do it and if he really wanted to change or go through life doing what others want him to do. All in all, it was interesting how he was able to come to terms with himself. If you are interested in reading about a confused young man's outlook of sex and relationships, then this book is for you. Nothing graphic or x-rated, all the stories are wonderfully worded and explained. It really is a good book about self discovery.

[OrchardBookClub · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the obviously loving relationship shared with his 'Nana' to the sexual adventures of a young man trying to find his place in life, this tenderly written book of life lessons is thoroughly entertaining to say the least.
Join Phil, a young teenager full of angst, coming to terms with his parents seperation and prepare to have your eyes opened as you embark on his perfectly honest and sometimes innocent take on the stories that unfold in his life.
I read this book with an open mind not really knowing what to expect, and quickly found myself pleasently surprised by how I became totally absorbed in the story.
A truely well written, thought provoking, amusing and charming read. If every boy were to take at least one life lesson out of this book, there would be a lot more self assured women out there, a lot sooner in life.
I look forward to reading more of your work

~Emma~

[Dream 4 More Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dream 4 More Reviews has read the book when it was under another title in 2010.
You can see full review under "Sensitivity: 101" by Philip Nork.