How Not To Worry: The Remarkable Truth of How a Small Change Can Help You Stress Less and Enjoy Life More

by Paul McGee

How to defeat stress, worry, and anxiety to achieve more in business and life. From the international bestselling author of Self-Confidence. Are You A Worrier? Do you seem to worry more than most? Do you find that insignificant things stress you out? Do you sweat the small stuff and the big stuff too? Well, now’s the time to stop worrying and start living. Worry, stress, anxiety – whichever label you prefer to use – can have consequences that impact not only our lives, but the lives of others around us. When we worry it’s like the engine of our mind is constantly being revved up. It doesn’t allow us time to switch off and rest. It tires you out. And when you’re tired you’re less likely to think straight. And when you’re not thinking straight it’s easy to make stupid mistakes and confuse priorities...  But relax. There is a way forward. In How Not to Worry Paul McGee shows us that there is a way to tackle life’s challenges in a calmer and more considered way. It is possible to use a certain degree of worry and anxiety to spur us on towards positive, constructive action, and then leave the rest behind. With down to earth, real life advice, How Not to Worry helps us understand why worrying is such a big deal and the reasons for it, exposing the behavioural traps we fall into when faced with challenges. It then helps us to move on with tools and ideas to deal with our worries in a more constructive way.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Reference, Audiobook, Personal Development, Health

256 pages, Paperback

First published April 24, 2012

About the author

Paul McGee is one of the UK’s leading authors and speakers on the subject of change, workplace relationships and motivation. His book 'SUMO' (Shut Up, Move On) became an instant best seller and 'Self Confidence' reached number one in the WHSmith’s business book chart and remained there for a further 24 weeks. He has appeared on BBC Breakfast television and is a regular contributor on BBC Radio.
Building on his background in psychology, Paul’s aim is to deliver a practical, relevant message that he hopes can make an immediate impact on people’s professional and personal lives.
Paul has written eleven books, and is in the process of writing number twelve, and co-writing thirteen (a children's book). He has spoken at over 1,000 organisations in 41 countries to date, and from Todmorden to Tehran and from Bradford to Brisbane, Paul also has created a schools pack, with resources and literature to link SUMO principles with the PHSE curriculum.

Reviews

[Michael Huang]

The solution the author gives is basically this: stop worrying and think. If you can help the situation do it. If not why do you worry.

[Hassan Alsheikh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick guide to understand your worry (and master it)

A very good read to the ones that worry a lot. I wish some of my family members would actually read this book but there are some hopeless cases in the world and I happen to know a few. Back to the book... Paul's writing style is on the easy side. I love that. Loved the humor and the use of his personal life/journey /imaginary friends/daughter examples.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall this was an insightful yet rather simple read. McGee lays out all the possible reasons we feel worry, stress and anxiety. Reading this was like finally remembering that word on the tip of your tongue; I knew these reasons but I couldn't quite access them before. So this book is great if you need to remind yourself of how you cope and the reasons why you worry, as well as putting your biggest challenges into perspective for you. At the end of each chapter there is a set of questions that allow you to pause and reflect.

On the other hand, the grammar was terrible at points (as in a first draft, never been proofread kind of way). I also found that some of the most insightful comments and memorable phrases were quotes he has taken from other therapists and notable experts on the topic. A lot of the stuff McGee said himself in between his explanations was just waffle in the guise of supposedly humorous anecdotes. It would have read better as a completely factual text on the origin of worries. However, it's worth noting that anecdotal stories do help apply the topic to real life situations, which some readers may find more relatable (particularly if they are suffering alone).

Saying that though, it is a very accessible self-help book that readers may find useful if approaching the topic for the first time. It did help me recognise my worries and where they stem from, and by doing so I think I will be able to reduce the effect they have on me, in time. Worth the 99p I spent on the kindle edition, and had it been edited properly I wouldn't fault it as the title fits the content perfectly.

[Lulu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable book. “deal with the root, not the fruit”

[Emma Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t normally read self help books, but in a time of high uncertainty this looked to be something that may be useful and practical. It is a very simple and clear introduction to the psychology and evolutionary reasons for worry. The reader learns of how worry comes about, when it can be useful, and when it starts to become damaging. There are some quick tips that are easy to implement on the journey to worrying less. Its not too heavy either, and can give ideas for ways to start moving in the right direction straight away.

[Loesje · Rating 4 out of 5]

Van boekjes van deze uitgeverij zijn mijn verwachtingen doorgaans wat lager dan bij sommige andere uitgeverijen. De vier sterren zijn hier dus meer omdat het meer biedt dan verwacht, dan dat het boek echt excellent is. Ik moest erg wennen aan de schrijfstijl, hier en daar bijna staccato. En -zoals de auteur zelf ook aangeeft- het super laagdrempelige.
Desondanks toch het nodige er uitgehaald om mee aan de slag te kunnen.

[Femke Verstreken · Rating 1 out of 5]

Één van de slechtere zelfhulpboeken rond stress en piekeren die ik al las... Geen nieuwe inzichten verkregen, geen nieuwe handvaten. Geen echte aanrader. Ik las hem ook vertaald naar het Nederlands, wat ook al helemaal niet hielp.

[Emma Connolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Felt like this book was written for me!
Easy to follow and thought provoking. Will be starting to use the tools in the book from now to try to start worrying less!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some useful concepts in this book that I will take away with me.

[✟Roxanne✟(Death by Book Avalanche) ☠ · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book! I highly recommend it to people who struggle with anxiety and worry. I gave this book such a high rating as I was able to relate to it and I very much took to the dry, sarcastic humour of the author, I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions. I liked the activities that were included so you could turn the advice into something more practical to see if it works for you. The 'Hammock Time' was also very good I thought, it allowed self reflection at the end of each chapter. Overall, I was very impressed with this book.

[Dorthe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am certain this book can be very helpful to people who have never thought about how they think, and I admit to a smile or two over some of the sillier examples. But ...

Here's The Real Truth: you can flog a phrase to death and make the reader (or listener) in turn want to beat you with a stick the hundred-and-third time you use it.

[David Algeo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant book giving a straight forward view of worrying and how to overcome it. Paul, in his usual humourous and non 'happy clappy' style provides a great tool for those of us plagues with this problem. Here's my video review - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39Ctg...

[kyla ☁️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

all in all, this book amounts to a fairly good judgement—coming from someone who is emotionally unstable most of the time. it definitely wasn't a one-sitting kind of read which i looooved by the way because not only were there paragraphs upon paragraphs on how normal it is to worry, the book also calls for a little section called Hammock Time that basically just asks you a bunch of questions to reflect over.

one good way to read the book in my opinion is to have a good journal ready and every time a question pops up, you have to mull over it, think it thoroughly and answer it as honestly as you can in your journal. honestly for me, it worked wonders. mostly because i was finally letting all of my frustrations out.

although i can't speak for the general population and this might not be the best self-help book out of a million out there BUT in a way, for people who feels like they're alone with their problems, this is a major pat on the back with the assurance that the idea and the act itself of worrying is what entirely makes up our humane existence.

i tried so hard not to make this review sound like a high school reflection paper 😅 still, pick the book up if you're in for some little motivation!!!

[Jaq · Rating 2 out of 5]

I probably gleaned a couple of useful tools I can take from this book but was more disappointed than anything, losing interest as the book went on.

I'm easily put off by religious undertones and though these weren't frequent, it was enough to get to me. On edge from about halfway through the book I started to notice typos and large sections that are completely pointless if you have aphantasia. I could gain nothing from visualizing or voices in my head (the type everyone supposedly has), my worries are the more generalised type because of an inability to visualise or hear my thoughts as a voice in my head. An unfortunate Bill Cosby quote pushed me over the edge.

By the end the typos were more frequent and my frustration so high I felt relief when I reached the last page.

My multiple issues with this book probably won't apply to most people so check out the other reviews for a more general opinion, I'm sure this book will be really useful for lots of people.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

A slightly overcooked piece of toast triggers the alarm in the same way as a smoke-filled room does.

I thought the above analogy about anxiety was quite good and definitely something I could relate to.

I don't read a lot of non-fiction, but thought I'd give this one a shot. The first half I found really interesting. There was a lot about causes of worry and the brain - it was all really fascinating. The second half got on to strategies to help ease worry. They weren't groundbreaking or really anything I didn't know already, but it's always nice to be reminded. I did find the short section on how exercise works to combat anxiety quite intriguing .

I liked the casual tone of the book. It makes you feel more like you're having a chat with a friend, than being lectured. The 'Hammock time' sections and little activities in the book also help you to relate what is being spoken about to your own situation.

[Sam · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.5/5

Main takeaways:

- Anxiety is caused by overanalysing a situation's importance and our level of control over it
- Fear = future events appearing real / false evidence appearing real
- You shouldn't allow your self-worth to be based solely on how others view you
- Perfection is impossible, so those who strive to achieve it must disguise their true selves and hide their flaws and vulnerabilities. This leads to constant low-level anxiety that builds over the years

Actionable advice:
1) Measure how far you've come. Accept that you aren't perfect and embrace the flaws that make you unique. Instead of measuring your distance from perfection, measure progress from the day before
2) Practice putting your worries down in writing. Sometimes our anxieties can be generalised or difficult to understand. Write down what's concerning you and how much influence you have over the situation to gain clarity as to whether you need to act or relax

[Carole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book, one of the best I’ve read on the subject. It’s very simplistic in some ways, but also contains a lot of important information which I can relate to. Some of it has resonated with me so much that it has made me cry, because I feel like somebody FINALLY understands me!!

I’ve labelled myself over the years as ‘worrier’ and ‘anxiety sufferer’, (even though I detest labels for others) and realise now that this was totally the wrong thing to do. I’ve almost convinced myself that I’m doomed to worry and nothing can change it. It’s not good to wear worry as an identity, I’m a normal person with a tendency to worry about things which haven’t yet happened, who just sometimes lets her imagination run riot (and that’s a description, not a label). This book has taught me that I can use my extremely vivid imagination to my advantage.

[Felipe CZ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book that can become a helpful roadmap for defeating stress. It makes you realize the importance of confronting the cause of our worries, whether from past experiences or fear of the unknown; the first step is to have awareness by asking yourself where is your worry coming from; next, sort your worry into situational (anxiety happening in the present), anticipatory (stress thinking about the future) or residual (from the past, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder); then analyzing worries to understand their root cause and finally, taking action and focusing on outcomes that we can influence. We must change our personal worry triggers, and stop trying to please others, instead, learn to ask for help.

[Karen Broughton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was introduced to the SUMO way of thinking after going on a short SUMO course early in the year, it's probably the single best thing ive done in all my life and is having the biggest positive impact in my life. This is the second book of Paul Mcghee's ive read , i love them. The language, the style and the theories it seems to have a really hit a nerve. There really is a different way of dealing with anxieties and worry. The best news of all the advice/small changes he suggests are actually doable.
I highly reccommend Paul Mcghee's books.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read or, more accurately, listened to this book via Audible.

As such, I'm worried that I didn't get the full impact of it.

(sorry not sorry)

I am an inveterate worrier, and I did glean one or two nuggets of useful information from this, but I have to admit: I also had to force myself to finish it. I don't know whether it was because of the conversational style used, or the narrator or what, but I did find myself losing interest partway through.

I'm worried now that the author will take this the wrong way ...

(again, sorry not sorry)

[Laurence · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worrying is generally not productive, analyse why you're anxious about something to help put the worry to bed.

Past trauma creates anxiety and this makes sense. Tackle this trauma to solve it. Imagined problems that have no basis in history are largely useless. Rational anxieties are fine (fear of heights when your on the edge, for example).

Imagine how a hero of yours would deal with an upcoming anxiety causing event. Or, have a council of advisors who can give you useful perspective (imaginary or not).

[Kendra Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this, don’t worry!

I approached this book with few worries (I know I am lucky) but I have read all Paul’s books so why not this one, it may help me with friends who have worries. I have learned so much, looked hard at my life and will make some changes. I will start to exercise, I will let go of the one issue in my part that I revisit every now and again, I will develop some imaginary friends. I hope this has piqued your interest as this book is well worth reading wherever you are on the worry scale. Highly recommended

[Jus · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me from my friend. How not to worry by Paul McGee. A psychology self help book, giving examples and small exercises for yourself to practice.

“How not to worry in a nutshell?
- live with the imperfect including yourself.
- healthy fear can be a gift.
- be careful of watching constant negative news.
- WRITE STUFF DOWN.
- find the funny in stuff when you can, it will keep you sane.
- ask yourself “where is this issue of scale 1-10 (where 10 is death).
- IF YOU CANT CONTROL OR INFLUENCE IT, LEARN TO ACCEPT IT!
- REMEMBER to re-tell is your re-live and that’s not always helpful.
- what you focus magnifies. So be careful what you focus on.
- imagination is powerful. If you’re not enjoying the movies in your mind you can shout “Cut”.
- depriving yourself of support is like depriving yourself of oxygen. Don’t do it.
- you can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Move on.”

Let’s hope I can improve myself better and worry less.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read several books on this subject but found this one particularly enjoyable. The author has a great sense of humour which really makes all the difference with this type of book. I found myself relating to a lot of what the author was saying. I learnt a few new techniques and would highly recommend giving this one a read.

NOTE TO SELF: I started this on 24th August but forgot to add it. Goodreads is coming up with an error every time I try to change it.

[Neal G Spencer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really helpful book. Those who want to put some structure to their thoughts and worries and who need to gain some perspective would benefit from this and might also benefit with some CBD therapy. The side quips got on my nerves a little bit in the end mind although meant to be light and humorous just got annoying but there were so many positives in this book. I’ve referenced a number of pages in this and intend to use it as a guide

[Tabassom Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

My thoughtful husband bought me this book for my birthday for obvious reasons. I like the easy-to-follow advice and strategies given in this book and am looking forward to implementing them into my life. I would have given this book 5 stars if it weren't for the 10 grammatical errors I found throughout the book. However, despite those errors, the advice given has helped me to realise that worrying less than I excessively do now can be achievable.

[Quinns Pheh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worry, stress and anxiety are part of a cycle that is bad for your well-being. Try analysing the source or the cause to best get out of this feedback loop. Once identified, try classifying these baseless and unhelpful worries to start doing things and focusing on outcomes you could actually influence.

[Salsabeel]

Worry, stress and anxiety are part of a cycle that’s bad for your health and happiness. The best way to get out of this feedback loop is to analyze the source and nature of your worries. Once you begin categorizing them, you can sort out baseless and unhelpful worries and start doing something about the things you can actually influence.

[rachel whitelaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

From a worry wart......

Some very sound and sensible advice within. I'm a constant worry wart and relish books like this that make me feel entirely normal and sane! All positive and encouraging. A must read if your stressed anxious or just in need of a cuddle from a book! Perfect

[Joey Justice · Rating 3 out of 5]

How Not to Worry is a relatively short and interesting read. It makes a few interesting points about why we worry, but I didn't put the book down feeling like I came away with any new knowledge about...how not to worry. It's worth reading, just don't expect much.