We Need to Talk About Ageing: Essential conversations and practical advice to navigate the ageing journey with confidence

by Melissa Levi

Do you get the sense that something's just not quite right with yourself, Mum or Grandpa?
Does your family avoid having the big conversations about ageing?
Are you confused and overwhelmed?

You are not alone.

Clinical psychologist Melissa Levi has helped more than a thousand older people, and their families, navigate the ageing journey. While every family's story is unique, Melissa has come to know that we all share common fears and questions about ageing - the same questions her own family had when her grandfather was diagnosed with dementia.

In We Need to Talk About Ageing, Melissa encourages us to understand that while getting older is inevitable, our journeys don't need to be overwhelming, or clouded with uncertainty or confusion. She provides expert information on what to expect as you get older, what's 'normal', how to identify symptoms of common medical and psychiatric conditions in later life, and, most importantly, what you can do and where to go for help.

Melissa shares practical, actionable strategies, tips and discussion prompts, so you are equipped to have the big conversations about ageing, to maintain connection, to find your way through the aged-care maze, to make informed, values-aligned decisions and so much more.

We Need to Talk About Ageing is a comprehensive guide that will empower your family to plan for the future, experience greater meaning, joy and connection, and navigate the ageing journey with confidence and grace.

Melissa Levi has specialised in older people's mental health and dementia for over a decade. She is committed to educating and empowering families to better understand ageing, have the big conversations and plan for the future, so they can take control of their ageing journeys. Her mission inspired We Need to Talk About Ageing and her website Talking Ageing - resources she wishes had been available for her own family when her grandfather was diagnosed with dementia.

Genres: Nonfiction

443 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 31, 2023

Reviews

[Schizanthus Nerd · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a society that fetishises youth, the prospect of ageing is, at best, daunting. At worst, it’s terrifying. Verging on superstition, society clings to the belief that if we can deny and conceal ageing by focusing solely on youth, relegating the aged to live behind closed doors (often literally), then we can deny ageing itself.

It’s all too easy to put off difficult conversations. In this book, clinical psychologist Melissa Levi makes a really good case for having conversations about ageing early and often.

This book covers what Melissa calls the three trajectories of ageing: successful ageing, normal ageing and compromised ageing. Along the way, she demystifies common reversible and chronic conditions and their treatments, highlighting that even when a condition is not treatable, there are still ways you can manage it.

I found the chapter about carers particularly helpful. Despite rounding out the book discussing the Grim Reaper, this book is surprisingly hopeful. A lot of time is spent providing information and encouraging you to have conversations with your loved ones to ensure older people are given the choices and dignity they deserve.

While readers beginning to think about ageing will find plenty of information, the stories of older people and their families were what I most looked forward to. It’s one thing to read suggestions for managing a condition but being a fly on the wall when people are applying these to their lives makes them feel more doable.

Every so often, I was reminded that I was reading a book written by a clinical psychologist. After telling a loved one you have concerns, the author invites the reader to ask questions, one of which was ‘How does this information align with your experience of how things are going?’ I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sentence like this from anyone other than a psychologist. Thankfully, the majority of the book is written in a down to earth, relatable way.

I lost count of the number of times I was referred to a specific page on the author’s website. Sometimes this is so you can access downloadable versions of information covered in the book, including checklists. Other times, though, such as in the case of sleep hygiene strategies, the only way for you to access this information is to visit the author’s website. I didn’t want to have to consistently stop reading to visit a website. I wanted the book to contain all of the information, as appendices if necessary.

When I visited the author’s website, I discovered that some of the promised information hasn’t been uploaded yet. Granted, the book was published less than two weeks before I read it but after having been annoyed by how many times I was referred to it, I expected the website to be a fount of supplemental knowledge.

There’s an index so you can easily find information about a specific topic and a list of resources (primarily Australian) you can contact for further information or support. The summaries at the end of the chapters are very helpful. I wish I’d had the opportunity to meet Melissa’s Zaida.

I learned that the losses that often come with age (loss of health, memory, friends, roles, independence) was not the loss of joy, the loss of quality of life, or the loss of one’s inextinguishable will to live.

Thank you so much to Hachette Australia for the opportunity to read this book. I’m rounding up from 3.5 stars.

Blog - https://schizanthusnerd.com/

[Susan Belperio · Rating 4 out of 5]

An important book, can be read in chapters containing very good dot point recommendations for various issues associated with ageing. The entire book is interlaced with the story of her own grandfather, "my Zaida" who was diagnosed with a mixed dementia. For shining a spotlight on such important issues as these, which often otherwise have people putting their heads in the sand, I'm upgrading my rating of 3.5 stars to 4 stars. Very easy to pick up and put down. A comprehensive reference book.