Recycled: A Reluctant Search for True Self Through Nurture, Nature, and Free Will

by Jack Rocco

Jack Rocco was a baby when he was adopted by a blue-collar, Italian American family. Today a successful orthopedic surgeon, Jack’s identity was built around his Italian heritage and while he knew the story of his “Gotday,” he didn’t know the story of his birth day. His was a closed adoption, and he only knew that his birth parents were a young couple—an Italian father and a German Irish mother—who couldn’t afford a child. Recycled takes you along on Jack’s journey of discovering his true but hidden identity. On a first date, Jack learns she was also adopted. As she describes finding and meeting her birth mother, Jack discovers that his belief about closed adoptions—that there's no way to obtain details—and the birth story he's been told may not be accurate. He becomes obsessed, devouring books about adoption and adoption trauma. He tries to follow long and twisted tentacles of nurture, nature, and free will—which parts of him were due to genetics? The nurturing environment of his adoptive home? And which parts did he actually have control over? As some of the puzzle pieces of his life click into place, others remain disconnected and swirling out of reach. And then, he makes a discovery that shatters his very self-identity. It was Jack’s grandfather who coined the term “recycled children.” Recycled is for those directly involved in adoption—adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents—and also for anybody wanting insight into the impact that early maternal and cultural separation has on a child. It is also for those coming to terms with mixed-race identity. It’s one of the most thrilling, shocking, yet hopeful books about hidden identity and adoption that you’ll read this year and may help you during your own identity inquiry.

226 pages, Paperback

Published June 18, 2023

Reviews

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Recycled” written by Dr. Jack Rocco is a thought provoking and emotional book about the adoption process and the loss of identity that comes with it. With each page Rocco gives us a glimpse of his own vulnerabilities and allows us to journey with him as he discovers his biological roots.
“Recycled” makes you think about the age old question of nature vs nurture and what truly shapes us as person.

[Emi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was provided an advanced readers copy. I was not compensated for this review.

This was a quick read. I finished it in three days. I enjoyed his writing style; there was a nice flow without being overly wordy or too complex. I loved his analogies and actually laughed out loud when I read his Talking Heads comment.

I did not expect to walk away with so many thoughts and reminders of what life is all about. You don’t have to be adopted, or share any of his specific experiences, to relate to a lot of what he has to say.

Having said that, I immediately could relate to him. I have worked with adults with disabilities for over a decade. It is my life’s passion. I grew up about an hour and fifteen minutes northeast of Philly in NJ. I have friends who live in the Philadelphia suburbs. I was raised in a very Sicilian, Roman Catholic household (wooden spoons!), where we loved and fought hard. We had Sunday dinners. Cousins were like siblings. Everyone had/has a nickname. Any Sicilian or Italian was somehow “better” than others. On and on I could go.

Some may see the author as full of himself but I see someone who (like everyone) has the right to feel good about their accomplishments. I also see someone who is very familiar to me. His approach is very typical of the area from which he was born and raised. You either get it or you don’t.

I appreciated his honesty with regard to questioning his ability and confidence as a doctor. This was sometimes to his detriment as he openly admitted to having a less than desirable thought or acted in a way that made his shameful.

Some of his views with be polarizing and some down right offensive. However, he is sharing what was typical of those times and in those locations. It was not easy to read a sentence or thought here and there but we cannot deny the past….or the present. We cannot deny that prejudice, judgment, cruelty, and bigotry exist.

Chapter 10 brought me to tears. Chapter 11 wasn’t much better as the sting of my own memories of childhood and family came to the forefront. I ache for those that have passed on and a childhood that can never be again. I am almost sad when I finished this book. I wanted to remain lost in his childhood and early adolescence as it reminded me of my own.

Overall, this was a beautiful and touching story of family and finding one self. A real gem.

[Mandy Brauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

RECYCLED: A RELUCTANT SEARCH FOR TRUE SELF THROUGH NURTURE, NATURE AND FREE WILL by Jack Rocco

What a fascinating book about a man who was adopted, was a very successful orthopedist, and later on began to research his and other people’s experience with adoption. Because the author is a physician, when he looks at adoption it is with a scientist’s eye as well as someone struggling to understand his own, unique adoption story. It interesting that he first really gets interested in adoption after a first date with a young woman who was also adopted. Fortunately, Dr. Rocco was raised in a loving, rather close working- class Italian family that gave him the love, self-confidence and freedom to do whatever he wanted in life.

Dr. Rocco points out that no child is a blank slate and leaving the birth mother is a primal wound, not one to be glossed over. Throughout the book Dr. Rocco peppers the text with humor and real-life situations, giving the reader insights into medical school, the military where he served in Japan, and charitable work that takes him to Madagaskar. At the same time, he says, “I was driving the vehicle I called my life much too fast and felt as if it was ready to fly off the road at any minute.”

What he discovers about himself and how he integrates into his life story is the essence of this book. In the process of this, he reexamines the idea of “recycled kids,” saying adoption is not the simple process many of us were led to believe it was and it has ramifications that need to be considered on the lives of the birth parents, the adoptive family and especially on the child. Interestingly, Dr. Rocco says, “Humans are intimately tied to their stories and their lies and sometimes its difficult to differentiate between the two.

The book also presents a lengthy, scientific and philosophical discussion about nurture versus nature and free will, which is really a major part of the book and well worth rereading.

I urge anyone to read this who wants to know more about adoption and its ramifications on all involved. But the book is more than that: it is also, the story of a really interesting man who, while struggling to find his roots, presents a very honest portrait of a man searching to make his life meaningful.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has two aspects which may appeal to different readers. There is the ‘Growing up and succeeding in the bosom of a loving Italian family” story and the “Filling the hole in the heart of an adoptee” story. Both are rich and authentic but may not resonate equally with all readers.

I confess I am not adopted nor do I have personal acquaintanceship with anyone who is. I must accept what the author writes about how this experience affected him, and by extension, all adoptees. I found it interesting and credible but I’m sure it doesn’t resonate the way it would for someone searching for their roots.

The loving family story, however, and Dr. Rocco’s incredible achievements throughout life made a very satisfying read for anyone who enjoys a rich story filled with interesting characters, travel, friendship and success.

Perhaps my response is superficial, but I read it as an enjoyable story and didn’t dwell too much on the traumatizing search and discovery of Dr. Rocco’s biological roots.

That being said, there is something for both kinds of readers.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Anne Wellman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lively, well written account of an adopted man's discovery of his roots, covering his upbringing in a warm, loving Italian-American family, subsequent medical training, and life as an orthopedic surgeon both at home and abroad. Along the way there are some interesting musings on what it means to one's identity to be adopted - nature versus nurture - and then finally the impact of an unexpected revelation on the author's sense of self. The author adds that the narrative was originally written as therapy, and this is fairly evident in an account which is very centred on his own thoughts and experience, but it will still find great resonance with both adopters and adoptees. An engaging read.


I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Christine Weald · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book written more or less as a dialogue. However about two thirds of the way the dialogue became a little despairing and repetitious, but probably consistent with someone suffering, so I persevered.

The book is a tale of discovering the author's past, since he was adopted. It describes the emotions he felt not knowing his biological parents and then those feelings once his birth family were discovered. I did not share the author's statements about adopted children wanting to know their birthright to enable them to belong. I think it may also be attributed to his race. But the account is interesting.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Amie McCracken · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stark and straightforward journey through identity and where one really originates from. This book had me sucked in from line one, and forced me to evaluate my own origins and how each and every decision in life creates different paths. Each divergence could have led Jack a million different directions. It was fascinating to be a part of his thought process.

[J. Scott Calder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jack takes you on an incredible journey with plenty of ups and downs along the way. He is brutally honest about what he was thinking or is currently thinking. Even better, this causes you to reflect about your own life and values. I highly recommend this book, enjoyable and insightful - a rare combination.

[Cheryl Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to meet this author and learn about this book. As an adoptive parent and a child of the 1960s myself it was eye opening to read about the viewpoint of the adoptee. It has given me insight about my own child. I recommend the book.