The Real Rules: How to Find the Right Man for the Real You

by Barbara De Angelis

Do you really believe you can find true love by playing games? Get real! Real secrets about men. Real truth about love.

When love becomes a game, everybody loses. Bestselling author and renowned relationship expert Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., knows what woman really need today—and it’s not  a relationship built on lies and manipulation. Instead, she offers a real   The Real Rules.

The real rules are not  about trying to be what a man wants so he’ll marry you. They're not about fear—fear of being alone, fear of “blowing” a relationship with one wrong move. The real rules are about becoming the confident, unique woman you really are and finding a man who loves you because  of it.

In The Real Rules, Barbara De Angelis won’t just teach you how to get a man—she’ll teach you how to get the right  man, and create a love that lasts forever.

• How to Stop Sabotaging Your Love Life with the Old Rules
• The Six Most Important Character Traits to Look for in a Man
• What Men Really Want in a Woman (And in the Bedroom)
• When and How to Ask a Man for a Commitment
• How to Avoid the Wrong Men and Attract the Right Ones
. . . and more

Genres: Self Help, Relationships, Psychology, Love, Nonfiction

192 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published February 10, 1997

About the author

Barbara De Angelis Ph.D. is one of the most influential teachers of our time in the field of relationships and personal growth. For the past twenty-five years, she has reached tens of millions of people throughout the world with her positive messages about love, happiness and the search for meaning in our lives. As a best-selling author, popular television personality and sought after motivational speaker, Barbara has been a pioneer in the field of personal transformation as one of the first people to popularize the idea of self-help in the 1980's, and as one of the first nationally recognized female motivational teachers on television.

Reviews

[Bren fall in love with the sea. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am writing this review even though I read this book many years ago. I thought it deserved a positive review because it's great.

So many of you may remember that horrible book "The Rules" which women were buying up like a storm. I too bought it (as a joke) read it, then happily trashed it while warning every human being I came in contact with NOT to read a page from it!

One of the writers of THAT book later divorced. Not surprising as THAT book basically tells women to pretend to be Stepford Wives, while maintaining their beauty, fitness and mystique. It also contained such gem s as if you talk to the guy first, it will never work out. Beautiful! It is women like the writers of "The Rules" who give other women a bad name.

Then Barbara De Angelis wrote this book as a direct response. The REAL rules. Which basically tells women to be themselves. De Angelis was concerned that people might have actually taken that other book seriously. That OTHER book that encourage s women to use timers when their on the phone with a new guy so as to know when to hang up(first) to keep their mystique intact. (Barf).

I LOATHED The Rules. I LOVED this book. While I cannot remember everything it said, it was warm, sensible and should be a must read for single women who are seeking a good book about relationships. These really are the real rules. I am so glad she wrote this!

[White · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one is a quick read. You can easily do it over a weekend, even if you aren't traveling. This one was one of my purse books. This book was written in response to a book written by some girls that made it on air. They wrote about playing "hard to get", never pick up the phone too quickly, keep your man waiting, and all the unwritten rules. De Angelis responded with Real Rules. True to her goodness, she stresses the importance of equal communication, the unfairness of playing games with men and vice versa. She trashes the gender roles in the game of love and comes clean with the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

This book is refreshing, nonmisogynistic, and true.

[Jill ChinjillaVanilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this looong ago, when I was single. It was written in response to a manipulative and despicable book called “The Rules” that was enjoying a popularity surge at the time. This book is about being yourself and finding what you really want in a relationship, so that both parties know who they are building a relationship with, and there’s no revelations that later lead to couple hood misery. I made a list, as the author recommended, that I found years later, after I had met and married my soulmate. Every item on the list was true of my man. We are hitting 15 years married this year, and still happy, and always, always ourselves. This book changed the way I thought about relationships and dating, and I will always appreciate that it was the antithesis to “The Rules” that my heart knew and found to be right.

[Eric Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A companion to, "Are You The One For Me?"

How to find a man who isn't a jerk, and how to recognize him when you do. Barbara is very good at what she does, and very insightful and aware of the many facets and dynamics of relationships. Makes John Gray look two-dimensional, (which he basically is.)

[amineh]

Whether you are single, in a relationship, or just searching for love, Barbara has created a product just for you. Please take time to read it.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd want to express my gratitude to the author for this book. I wish I had read it when I was younger so that my former self would have been aware of the RED FLAGS in Relationships and Men.

While reading the book, I was taken aback since the incidents described by Angela were so similar to my own prior self and relationships.

It helped me recognize a number of mistakes and red flags.

Now, I'm 4 years Single, not planning to find the right person, because I want to take care of myself first.

[Kristin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe I should have given her 3 stars, after all she wrote this as a reaction to the crazy "The Rules" that quite a few Americans still uses as a dating bible... no wonder they have so many miserable relationships and so many therapists over there....!

But - it's just commoN sense and nothing new - but, if you believed in The Rules in the 90-ies, and still is single - READ THIS ONE!

[Farah Jazmina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Suka cara penulis ni balance kan antara dua2 jantina. (Even penulis buku ni perempuan, tapi dia tak sexist). Buku ni banyak bagi kita dorongan especially untuk perempuan, kita ada perasaan, kalau kita suka, then just go. Just start!

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Barbara gives you the REAL Rules for dating. No manipulation, just plain, honest connection~!

[Fatima · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every one must Doooo!!!

[Butterfly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Though the original Rules are cheesy and I am loathe to admit it, they have some solid advice on self-focus and have helped me save my dignity at times when I would have gone way too far out on a limb for guys who clearly weren't interested.

Because I liked The Rules, I was curious about this book, but after reading it I actually threw it away, I thought it was so bad (normally I would never do that, I am all about reusing and recycling, but seriously, it was so bad I wanted to save the rest of humanity). It is full of CAPITALIZATION, underlining , BOLD , and tons of excamation points to drive it all home!!!!!! Super annoying. The author seems to have written it in a fit of rage. What a turn-off. The content isn't necessarily bad, but The Rules are way more fun and are good advice for women who have clingly/insecure tendencies and need to keep their feet on the ground in a relationship. For those enlightened women who don't ever obsess or cling, The Real Rules are good common-sense advice, but those women won't need to read this anyway.

[Erika · Rating 4 out of 5]

What can I say? It's a gift from my father!

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really resonates with me and I would have given it 5 stars, but I believe the kind of clothes we women wear (or don't wear) don't make a difference when it comes to objectification and other kinds of sexual aggression. And I think respect (for everyone) and honesty should be the only prerequisites for sex. That being said, this is book is a gift. It is sincere, helpful, and brilliantly written. I feel so grateful after reading it and I totally recommend it.

[Penny Blanch · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a tongue-in-cheek way of looking at relationships,and Barbara seems to be able to hit a few nails on the head with it. I found it amusing,with a modern rewriting of 'the old rules' that our parents would have lived by (assuming you're Gen X!). Worth a read for any self-help addict!!

[Joseph Young · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhat basic, but has some interesting tidbits. Read it too long ago to remember much.

[MollyB · Rating 3 out of 5]

uh, loved it. i don't care what anyone has to say!