With Child: A Diary of Motherhood

by Phyllis Chesler, Ariel Chesler (Preface)

Chesler writes of her experiences of pregnancy and motherhood and her attempts to understand just what she is looking for in her child

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1981

About the author

Phyllis Chesler is an Emerita Professor of Psychology and Women's Studies at City University of New York. She is a best- selling author, a legendary feminist leader, a psychotherapist and an expert courtroom witness. Dr. Chesler has published thousands of articles and, most recently, studies, about honor-related violence including honor killings. She is the author of 20 books, including Women and Madness and An American Bride in Kabul. Her forthcoming book is titled Requiem for a Female Serial Killer, about serial killer Aileen Wuornos.

Reviews

[Kristi Siegel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow - I'm nasty. My 1982 note on this book was "self-centered, psychotic view of motherhood."

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ran out of time to completely finish this journal and skipped the pregnancy part to jump to the life with an infant part, but really enjoyed reading this in the last months of my pregnancy even if the entries are from 40 years ago. I must say I'm the kind of person that wishes there was a time machine to enable her to travel to the 70s because that time sounds particularly fascinating to me, so probably not everyone would enjoy reading this testimony of an intellectual worker from that time feeling very divided between her work and family lives as much as me. But entries like the short June 25, 1978 one:
"Ariel, I'd be lying if I romanticized being with you for more than an hour at a time. After fifteen minutes, I'm bored with you. But I'm unable to pull myself away.
You are too consuming. Soft silk.
You are too limited. Bashful smile.
I have other things in my life. Little belly."
really spoke to me.
The author, a psychologist and feminist, writes about not "wanting to grow so bitter that [her son] will never know [her] as a 'laughing girl,' except from photographs from before [he was] born," and how difficult that is to figure out when the baby is "crying. [The author is] fighting with [his] father. The phone keeps ringing. We're out of diapers. Everyone's laundry is undone. [The author doesn't have] a single pair of underpants to wear. [She is] late for a meeting."
She writes about a foreigner living in the US finding it "crazy here", with "mothers isolated from each other", "not working because they have a baby", trapped indoors in the cold weather. And can you believe? They think it's better for the child this way!"
And the afterword is about "men", who "could do the work of mothering/parenting, too."
All ideas that still seem ahead of the times...

[Moushmi Radhanpara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a bit sceptical about picking up this book, and even when I did I had no idea what motive made me pick this book. But a few pages into the book, and I knew that I will be completing this however long it takes.

My view? Every one should read this, women, men, children, mothers, fathers and even if one plans to never be parents, you should read it. The book, this journal gives you an idea, plays with the insides of the mother and how she feels, isolated, overburdened, segregated, not accepted. How every thing becomes a sin, somehow the society expects her to be a superwoman. She is not. She is only a human.

A strong and powerful view on motherhood. The true realities of life of a knight in her shining armour.

[Mirjam]

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