Straight Up and Dirty

by Stephanie Klein

"I did have my own friends, my own salary, my health, and TiVo: all the important things we're likely to take for granted. Still, when it hit that I'd now have to date again, I panicked. Dating meant nightclubs, heels, and black. It meant, 'No, thank you. Really, I'm full.' It meant matching bras and underwear. Clothes with the micro used to describe them. Because until you date again, people will hiccup lines about getting back on horses. So you invest in an Agent Provocateur whip and a subscription to an online dating service. . . ."

--from Straight Up and Dirty

She had every girl's dream: the perfect marriage to the perfect guy in the perfect apartment on the Upper East Side. Marriage fit Stephanie Klein like a glove . . . but unfortunately it fit her husband like a noose. And then, just like that, Klein found herself "divorced when you're firm, fashionable, and let's face it—fetching."

Celebrated bloggist, photographer, and freelance writer Stephanie Klein lets it all hang out in this juicy tell-all tracing her jump back into single life following her divorce. On the dating advice of her therapist, Klein attempts to keep "a pair and a spare" of men always on hand and has lots of bawdy fun along the way. But when the anniversary of the devastating breakup from her "wasband" forces her to revisit what happened, she finds herself wanting more than her therapist's recommended gimmick to keep her emotionally safe.

Straight Up and Dirty demonstrates that the true measure of success isn't what's crossed off life's to-do list. It's having the grace and fortitude to move through change, curls intact and smiling.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Chick Lit, Humor, Book Club, Biography Memoir, Biography

304 pages, Hardcover

First published July 1, 2006

About the author

A foodie who sometimes abuses hair care products, Stephanie Klein is an acclaimed writer and photographer with a cult-like following. Her work has been published internationally, and her blog, Greek Tragedy, was recently ranked the 26th most powerful blog in the world by The Observer in the UK. Klein's photography is on permanent exhibit in New York's Hotel Gansevoort. Her first memoir, Straight Up and Dirty, is currently in development as a half-hour comedy series with NBC Universal. While she enjoys living in Austin, Texas, with her husband and twin son and daughter, shell always be a New Yorker.

www.stephanieklein.com

Reviews

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

As an occasional visitor to Klein's blog, I picked this up thinking it would be a quick and entertaining read. WRONG. This book is so disorganized and confusing that I couldn't even finish it. It's horribly written stream-of-consciousness with no discernible structure. Klein can be funny and brutally honest, but her book is completely self-absorbed and pretentious. The thing is, Klein probably knows this, but thinks it's clever and cute (or at least marketable), whereas I do not, and didn't stick around long enough to see if she redeemed herself.

[Roy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Harsh judgments of men based on quick superficial observations by an emotionally damaged, myopic redhead with stridently non-conformist sexual accessibility. It's the tragic and insensitive thrashing of hopeful suitors by a woman reaching middle age while still operating on cheer-leader mentality. Without adequate prompt, reflection, or personal growth she suddenly reaches a vague epiphany to close the book on an unrealistically triumphant note.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good, insightful, laugh-out-loud book. However, I am more than a little sick of chick-lit writers coming to the flawed conclusion that now that they've spend x amount of time: not dating, traveling to India, and "working on themselves" they'd would be totally ok alone, even though now they're married.
I call horse-poo. It's too easy to say that when you're cuddled up against someone at night.
She is extremely grating at points, so much so that I wanted to continue the plot, but I didn't necessarily want to hear it from her (the narrator). She happened to meet the right guy at the right time, that's all. She acts as though she is a guru of dating, tossing down the the message of "love yourself" from the mountain tops so we'll all finally be enlightened.
I understand that not dating for a while and pursuing her passions and the opportunities that came her way helped her to gain more confidence in herself and how in turn that may have attracted the right man for her. But what if the story went the other way? What if she was still making great strides in her career and feeling confident about that, but her dating life continued to be in the dumps?
I highly doubt she'd be coughing up the "i'm totally ok alone" line everyday.
I think her conclusion discounts the importance of love and how being in a relationship -- the right relationship -- can make you happy.

[Sherese · Rating 1 out of 5]

A friend of mine was reading "Moose", Stephanie klein's second memoir when I went for a visit. The cover for Moose was interesting and I always like to read about a chubby little girls' struggle as I can relate. So, I read the insert of Moose and noticed first memoir was published called " Straight Up & Dirty". Sounded like it would be right up my alley..a brash and honest account of life and relationships, sounds good to me. Boy was I wrong.. this memoir sucked! No wonder there was no wait for this book in the library and because it took me so long to read I kept renewing the book and still no one wants it. So disappointed with this effort, I won't even bother reading Moose now, I've already removed it from my list of books to read.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe it's because I'm not a chick that's into "chick lit" but I just did not connect with this book at all. It had some funny parts, but mostly it just seemed as though the humor was forced. I'll admit I didn't even bother finishing this one, though I made a valiant effort and got most of the way through the book. Even then I will usually struggle through to the end, but it just was not worth it. If you're a straight, fufu, appletini-drinking, shopaholic, fashionista of a woman, you'll probably identify more with her writing. It doesn't extend far beyond that crowd, and that crowd does not include me in any one of those categories.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've avoided reading this book for years now. I got to know the author through a mutual friend, and I had such a hard time coming to terms with reading a memoir when I 'knew' the person whose life it was about. It felt wrong of me to read about her life, private and personal details she went through, and get to know her in a way that felt so removed from a conversation. I'm so glad I got over that and read her memoir. This sounds cheesy as I'm writing it, but it's given me strength when I needed it most. So often we are afraid or simply don't know how to find happiness within ourselves. She took me on a journey were I could identify and personally grow from, just by being a bystander.

[Chelsea G.P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're a fan of Klein's blog (stephanieklein.com) then you're familiar with her off the cuff, stream of consciousness writing. With this book, she takes her writing to the next level. It's well thought out, carefully crafted and entertaining. Its chick-lit, yes, but without the pretentious air of Candace Bushnell. She bears all, but with her own personality - which comes across as someone who might be a friend.

[Kourtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I really did. The back blurb indicated that Klein went from divorce to being single and this was her tale. And we've all gone through breakups so how bad could this be? It also indicated she "has lots of bawdy fun along the way." How much more SATC can you be? I'm a fan, so I'll love this too, right? I was wrong...

(1) The blurb indicates she "has fun along the way." Throughout the book I never felt as though she was having fun. Ever. There were so many tears, fears, and insecurities how could she ever really enjoy life? Everything she did, whether it was go out with her girlfriends, or be on a date with someone, was something for her to whine, complain, and cry over. I saw no "fun" until the last two pages of the book, which completely ruined the whole point of the book. She was supposed to learn that being alone was ok. This didn't happen until she found someone. Really? That's like me eating a cookie but declaring not eating cookies would be ok. How does that even make sense? Of course she's ok! She's found someone again! The whole book she cried because she thought she was a loser when she was single and was somebody when she had somebody. SHE HAD SOMEBODY, OF COURSE SHE'S HAPPY! Take some creative license and find yourself before you find the guy...

(2) "Bawdy" was just a nice of way saying that Klein could be vulgar for no rhyme or reason. I am not a prude in any way shape or form, and I can enjoy a good sex scene when the timing is right and it fits with the plot. She would be talking about something banal and then BLAMMO a vulgar comment for no reason. They just never fit. "Hey I like your shoes!" "Oh he ****** on my face last night" (edited for those faint of heart - and you may want to skip this book if that offended you).

(3) This felt like something your therapist would tell you to write. "Write a letter to your ex-husband and then rip it up." Instead she ran to a publisher who published this crap. Who's laughing now because I spent money on it. Thankfully it was only $2 in the bargain bin.

(4) I can't believe I also bought with it her other book where she hates herself because she was fat as a kid. If it was anything like her hating herself because she was single, I have a miserable couple of days ahead of me. Maybe I'll write a book about it, whining about the time I spent reading about others whining about their pathetic lives. My therapist told me to write down these feelings in a letter and rip it up. I decided to post it on my Goodreads review...

Skip this one. You can thank me later.

[Angeld01 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I saw Stefanie Klein and the Printers Row Book Fair last month and I really liked her. I have since begun reading her blog.

I enjoyed this book. Yes, it was a little slow - but her exploration of life as a divorcee at 28 was well thought out. I hear some reviews say she referred to her ex-husband too much - but I liked that. I got a stronger sense of her, and definitely what she was overcoming by her stories of her marriage. Also, I always find myself interested by divorce, in that, what drives you to that point?

I don't know Gabe - but he sounds like a nightmate. Never was he for a moment deserving of Stefanie's love & I am genuinely interested in what he has put his new love through. The best good thing about the end of that marriage was the end of Rome.

I thought her journey was important (even if that was some of the "slow" of the book) Why did she ever pick such a selfish person for a partner in the first place?

I enjoyed this book and was honored Stefanie was so honest in her portrayal of no only others; but most importantly of herself.

[Taylor Tobey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would give this book a 3.5 but had to round up to 4 here 📚

Stephanie Klein’s writing style is different from anything I’ve ever read .. quirky, honest, funny, unique. I re-read sentences wondering ‘is that what she means by that?’ Or ‘did she really just say that ?’ But in a good way.

The messaging hits harder in the second half of the book but it’s a good one - stop caring about life’s to-do list as a measure of success and start living life for you.

Beyond this there were so many other smaller messages she drops throughout that just hit. And she’s brutally honest and hilarious saying it 👌

This is one of Rayna Greenberg’s favorite books (GGE podcaster) and I get why.. it’s straight up and dirty and a reminder that your happiness is tied to no single person… just you.

[Tara D-K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. For me, it was so relatable on all levels. It was like Sex and the City but better- Stephanie and her friends could have been my friends and I...and her story of the Wasband was a story like my own. It was gut-wrenching at times and you couldn't help but feel for her immensely. It was a very couragous story to put out there since it IS a memoir. I don't know that I could do the same and I'm a very open person. I've never recommended a book more than I have this one.

[Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Words cannot say how much I enjoyed reading this book. It's your typical chicklit in memoir style. My two favorite combinations. I found Stephanie extremely likable and would really recommend anyone looking for a great chicklit memoir. She is also coming out with another memoir about her experience at fat camp. I think its called Moose. Cannot wait for that either.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't help but compare this book to Eat, Pray Love.... as both are about a divorce and crisis of self. Unfortunately, there is no comparison. I never felt a connection to the author or any personal thread to her struggle. She often comes off shallow... or like she is trying to hard to be her NY self.

[Katie Hornberger · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let me start by saying I adored Moose, Klein's memoir about fat camp. It was an honest coming of age story that left me laughing out loud. I thought I would like Straight up and Dirty but after 3 attempts to read it, I could not get past page 100. I saw the spoiled little girl in Moose grew into a superficial brat. She was so picky, rude, and judgmental that I could not get into it.

[Pam Mertens · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straight Up and Dirty was a refreshingly honest read about getting a grip on yourself after divorce. This sometimes-funny, sometimes-poignant memoir touched a lot of places familiar to me after my own divorce at 30.

[Mora · Rating 3 out of 5]

eh. so so. a young divorcee trying to find herself and break away from being a serial dater. She's sort of to fancy smancy in the NCY scene. I can't deal with gucci.

[jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

it's possible to write a memoir without being totally self-absorbed. yes, it's about you but it doesn't have to be so ABOUT YOU.

bored with the self-love, I gave up about thirty pages in.

[Melanie Martel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so raw and I love it for that reason.

[Danielle Mintzlaff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked it.

[Tiffonee Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read this book so many times! Such a great book about being single after marriage and moving on with life

[Stefanie Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

""

[Jolene L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this memoir. So relatable. I can't begin to tell you how many times that I've come back to this book just for the feels.

[Bookcrazy · Rating 2 out of 5]

"So frech und unverforen, dass "Sex and the City" richtig alt aussieht." The Independent

Hä??? Wer hat denn dieses Zitat verbrochen?! Ja, es gab zwei Szenen eine wo sie einem Kerl in den Schritt greift und eine Masturbationsszene, aber dass war dann aber auch schon alles was ich als frech bezeichnen würde.



Heulen hilft nicht, also stürzt sich Stephanie kopfüber in Manhattens Männerwelt - und hält ihre Erfahrungen in einem Blog mit Biss fest, der in Sachen Witz, Sex und gnadenloser Offenheit seinesgleichen sucht...

Kopfüber, die zwei Männer die sie trifft würd ich jetzt so bezeichnen.
Mit Biss, Witz, Sex - naja ??? Da hab ich wohl ein anderes Buch gelesen.



MEINE MEINUNG:


Angefangen hat das Buch ja gar nicht mal so schlecht, Stephanie trennt sich von ihrem Mann Gabe nachdem sie herausfindet, dass es eine andere Frau gibt und muss sich neu zurechtfinden - mit sich, mit ihrer Umgebung.
Klang eigentlich recht vielversprechend.

Einerseits wird ihre Vergangenheit mit Gabe aufgerollt, andererseits ihre gegenwärtige(damalige) Situation.
ABER die Schicki-Micki-Szene hat mich einfach nur genervt. Ihr Umfeld war einfach nicht mein Fall. Und dann die Vergangenheit - endlos wird von Gabe erzählt wie er sie immer wieder nicht heiraten will und dann niemanden von ihrer heimlichen Hochzeit erzäht. Da fragt man sich doch echt wann bei ihr endlich mal die Alarmglocken läuten.
Und auch die Gegenwart war nicht viel unterhaltsamer. Erst zur Hälfte hin kommen wir in Greifnahe eines Dates/Mannes, aber dafür dann wortwörtlich. Schrittgrapschalarm!
Eigentlich bin ich echt verblüfft, dass ich das Buch jetzt doch beendet habe. Hab es wirklich oft überlegt abzubrechen.


1.5 STERNE


FAZIT:
Es fliegt, es fliegt.... aus meinem Bücherregal.

FAZIT 2:
Spontankäufe am Flughafen sind selten eine gute Idee.

FAZIT 3:
Nicht umsonst liegen manche Bücher jahrelang unangetastet auf dem SUB.

[Lwilé · Rating 1 out of 5]

A few pages in and I just KNEW this was going to be a 1 star read.

I did not like a lot of things about this book, most of all how really really REALLY clichéd the writing was. Honestly, if Ms. Klein can get a book deal with millions of clichés stuffed into 288 pages then surely so can I.

I also did not like how incredibly snarky the author was. Her inner monologue could be super bitchy (she gave me some lowkey Julie Powell vibes and Lawd knows Ms. Powell is the bitchiest nonfiction character I have ever come across) and I just do not understand how she was okay with “hitting print” and letting millions of readers know she could be such a bitch.

It got a bit better towards the end of the book, when the author began to realise her worth, but by then it was too little too late. I could have given this 1 ½ stars, but I am not a ½ star kinda gal. So instead of rounding this up to 2 stars, I rounded it down to 1 star because all the clichés and all the snark just did NOT work for me.

[Maggie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring, vapid...that’s all I got for this one

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, light, cerebral and relatable.

[Mari · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read Stephanie Klein's Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp a while back, and liked it. I've read her blog for at least that long, although I never delved into the archives to get the full story this book, her first, covers.

It was a little weird knowing what her kids look like and knowing her husband's real name (he comes in at the end of this book, albeit with a pseudonym, like everyone in the book). It did make reading it a little less suspenseful, knowing that she gets her happy ending (and is still happily living and blogging it!).

The writing style is good and she's very confessional. It's likened to "Carrie Bradshaw" of course, as any single gal in the city who blogs/writes successfully is heir apparent. But that seemed more true for this book, as she was constantly dating, being wooed and visiting the hot spots and Hamptons mentioned on Sex and the City.

The flow of the book was awkward, and I was often confused because it jumped around her divorce, the central event of the book -- so you'd read about her getting over it and dating, then jump back to good times with her first husband before they were married, then forward to just before the divorce, back again to the wedding -- and on and on. I guess non-linear story telling is en vogue, but I think I prefer a little more clear cut narrative.

Picked up the book for $4 at Strand -- a nice hard cover that looks really cool because its cover is dozens of thumbnail images of her. I read it now instead of on the cruise BECAUSE it was hard cover. And I made it through in just over a day. So a quick, fun read.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. It was like SEX AND THE CITY, but real life and not as over blown and dramatic, because seriously, when is real life overblown and dramatic all the time, even for New York,

Stephanie (Yay! I remembered a name!) is newly divorced and she talks about her ex and the relationship they had. When she talks about all the shit that happened before they even got married, I keep thinking to myself, couldn't she see this is going to end up a disaster? But she never once mentioned that she thought it wouldn't last, which was probably the most annoying part of the book. All the chapters brought up the same people over and over again, but they didn't really connect, they weren't in any particular order per se. I like it when books just have chapters about things and don't connect, especially if it's true and the book is mainly about a time in your life and not unravelling a story of sorts.

Some situations made me laugh (I can't think of them right now) and for the most part, I liked all the characters and they were all important to her and the story she was trying to tell. I hate pointless characters. I liked this book because it was real. While I enjoy a good over the top story as well, if the story knows it, then fine. Crazy for the sake of being crazy is annoying. And crazy for the sake of being crazy when you are trying to tell something real is even more annoying.

Grade: C

[Marci · Rating 2 out of 5]

For my book club I'm going to write a real review of this book. I found this book to be much too wordy, chocked full of cliché’s, overly dramatic and fun to read. There were passages when I was just hoping she would get on with it but there were others where I was laughing out loud. I am a firm believer in the editor's pen and I feel it was lacking here but I still give the book a three.

I would re-label this book as a self help piece. I think it speaks to women who are in verbally and even physically abusive relationships or are recovering from these situations. There is a lot of preachy but helpful, empowering advice for this audience. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I am not in this target audience so I sometimes found there to be too much introspection, even for a memoir. The few times the author described an actual event or scene and used dialogue, I really enjoyed it. I wish there were a little more actual dialogue and decriptive passages about places, ect. and less soliloquy about her feelings.

All the New York isms were a bit much. She was using what was once fresh language but is already just cliché in much of her dialogue with friends and even with the reader. I found it overshadowing her true intent of the narrative.

Loved all the grit and raunch. Hate to admit it but I’m that kinda’ girl. I hope you enjoy this read despite its flaws.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stephanie Klein, I admire your nerve.

There's something to be said for this particular sub-genre of memoir--let's call it Furious Jottings of a Woman Scorned (or FJWS)--and Klein is hardly alone in her need to spew such venom (See 'The Five Men Who Broke My Heart' by Susan Shapiro). I marvel at the way memorists are able to recklessly burn bridges (name changes notwithstanding), expose ugly truths, then venture back into their social galaxy. What are the effects?


This book comes off as a series of raging journal entries, cut, pasted, and juxtaposed onto a few often hilarious recollections of post-divorce relationships gone awry (the Eurosexual is a personal favorite). Within each of these episodes, Klein chooses a reflective moment to insert a cutting memory of life with her villainous ex-husband. I think that convention actually works well, but the sequencing and revelations get a bit muddled in the process.

Then there's the obligatory healing journey, the phone therapist dialogue, the girls-night-out balm, the return to reason. In Klein's case, the combination of authentic rage and open sexuality gives her story a biting appeal.