Fix

by J. Albert Mann

A Buzzfeed Best YA Book of 2021! A gritty, heart-wrenching novel of disability, pain, belonging, loss, addiction, and friendship.

Everything was fine before. When Eve and Lidia could hide their physical differences inside goofy Burger Hut costumes. When Lidia shook Eve up and Eve made Lidia laugh. When Lidia was there.

Everything is different now. Cut open . . . rearranged . . . stapled shut, Eve is left alone to recover in a world of pain and a body she no longer recognizes. Her only companions being a bottle of Roxanol and an infuriating (but cute) neighbor, Eve strikes up a relationship--and makes a pact--with the devil. Sacrificing pieces of a place she doesn't know to return to a place she does. What will she discover when she unravels her past? And is having Lidia back worth the price?

In verse and prose, Fix paints a riveting picture of a teen struggling to find herself and move forward with her life in a sea of opioids, regret, grief, and hope.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Poetry, Contemporary, Addiction, Teen, Novel In Verse

1 pages, Audio CD

First published May 11, 2021

About the author

J. Albert Mann is a disability activist, an award-winning poet and the author of eight published novels for children. She has an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts in Writing for Children and Young Adults and is the Partner Liaison for the WNDB Internship Grant Committee. She lives on a little fishing boat in the Boston Harbor with her first mate, Marcella, a ginger tabby.

Reviews

[jenna (jennajustreads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

**3.5 stars
this book was a super quick read and I enjoyed most parts of it, but I found it hard to follow and was confused at parts. gotta love thomas though <3

[Tiffany catsinfable · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, I would like to thank @netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

CW: Opioid addiction

WOW..! This book was amazing in all the right places. You follow a teen girl, Eve, through her spiraling journey after spine surgery from the long-term effects of scoliosis. Along the way we are taken down a hauntingly gripping road of nightmares, flashbacks, and drug induced chats and episodes. Not just that, but Mann shows the results of what a long-time friendship breakdown can put a person’s mind through.

This book kept me hooked from the moment it started, to the moment it ended. With the ending really setting up for a sequel, though I am not sure it was meant to. While I usually love cliff hangers, this one destroyed me. I finished the book a couple days ago and I am STILL trying to get over the constant drowning effect of what could happen. The book was beautifully written with bouncing from verse writing to first person monologue style, as well as from present to past. It made me feel as though I was racing through it.

[Rebecca Strand · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from front to back. Seriously pulled on my heartstrings.

[Jax Manos · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really wonderful book that deals with addiction and loss. The narrative style mixes typical bildungsroman coming-0f-age drama with ghost story elements, making for an incredibly interesting read.

[Grace Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This difficult and honest story of friendship was breathtaking. I could not put this book down and already wondering how soon is too soon to start reading again? So thankful to have received an ARC.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This ARC kept me reading. The author's mix of poetry with narrative fiction made it a quick read for me and it also helped to add to the plot of the story in my opinion. There are a few things that could potentially bump it down a star for readers - it focuses on a short section of Eve's life and there isn't necessarily a resolution to the story. There is also a little bit of unrealistic behavior (in my opinion) of a few of the characters including Eve's mom and Thomas. However, I did think about the book more after reading and to me that is a mark of a more memorable book.

[Brooklyn Lane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super emotionally charged read. I fell in love with the characters. The verse was really haunting.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eve just had back surgery to "fix" her severe scoliosis. The only thing that keeps the pain away are her pills. Even though she's still struggling in her recovery, she's released from the hospital and brought home, where her mother's laissez-faire attitude doesn't exactly help her. So Eve keeps taking the Roxy and spending her days talking to her telescope and remembering her friend Lidia, who won't answer her texts or calls. Eve isn't sure she'll ever be able to go back to school... at least, not without her pills.

There are way too few novels about scoliosis considering how many people I personally know with it. Back pain can be so debilitating so it wasn't a surprise that Eve quickly became addicted. Her mother, while not entirely negligent, certainly didn't seem to understand the magnitude of Eve's pain or how to care for her recovery. I loved how the poetry intermingled with the prose mirrored Eve's mental state and also made it clear when it was a flashback. One aspect that I didn't quite understand until the author's note at the end was Lidia's internalized ableism, which is something I'm not sure I've seen in other stories. I wish there had been a more obviously hopeful ending or a recovery narrative: I'm sure it was the first step toward Eve recovering but I wanted it to be a little bigger and involved her finding the help she really needed. There also aren't enough books about teens who are dealing with chronic pain and the consequent drug dependence.

[Josephine Sorrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

This raw story of Lydia and Eve is unfolded in a mixture of, prose and verse. The friends experience disability, pain, belonging, loss, addiction, and friendship.

Life used to be good for Eve and Lidia back when they could hide their physical differences inside goofy Burger Hut costumes. Back in the times when they could still laugh. They had been friends since kindergarten, both born with a structural difference; Lydia was born with only one hand and Eve with severe scoliosis. Now their friendship has been ripped apart.

That was then, everything is different now. Eve has been cut open, her insides rearranged, and stapled shut, She is left alone to recover in a world of pain and a body she no longer recognizes. Her new best friend is a bottle of Roxanol. Then there is the cute neighbor, Eve strikes up a relationship with, and makes a pact with the devil.

Fix is a riveting look into the mind of a teen struggling to find herself and move forward with her life in a mix of opioids, regret, grief, and hope.

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a tough but gorgeous read. Eve has just undergone spine realignment for her scoliosis. This incredibly painful surgery and immediate recovery leads to PTSD and also addiction to her medication. While she languishes at home during her recovery with a mostly absent mother, she hallucinates and daydreams about what went wrong with her best friend. The two had a falling out only a week before the surgery. These sections are written in poetry form. The beginning was especially tough for me. I've been hospitalized a few times, and while the reasons were not nearly as serious or painful as Eve's, it left a mental scar for a few months afterward, if not longer. Her descriptions brought me right back there, in the hospital.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book!

[Shannon Miz · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight

Fix presents as a story of a young woman recovering from what sounds like the most painful surgical procedure ever invented, becoming dependent on painkillers to function, and trying to navigate the demise of her best friendship. Some parts worked for me, and some parts did not, so we'll talk about all of that!

What I Liked:

►It's impossible not to root for Eve. This girl has been through it. The description of her pain alone had me near tears, because wow. Obviously I know Eve is fictional, but the thought of any human being having to go through that kind of pain is just... heartbreaking. Plus, it wasn't like life before the surgery had been easy peasy. From what Eve tells us, people have been downright cruel when it comes to her scoliosis.

►Fabulous that it followed characters with some pretty serious medical conditions. Not only did Eve have scoliosis, but it's clear that it was a very severe case that was impacting her life. Lidia was without one of her hands, and it was also really affecting her. I like how the author covered both the physical and emotional manifestation of both girls' situations.

►The tone/feeling of the book was spot on. I absolutely was able to feel Eve's pain, her desperation, and later, her dependence on pills. The author did a great job of making the reader feel as Eve fell deeper and deeper into a really confused and isolated state. It was really impressive, frankly.

What I Didn't:

►It felt a bit... all over the place? And I suppose some of that may have been because Eve was all over the place, but there was just a lot going on without a lot of it being resolved, I guess. I can't elaborate too much about these, because I don't want to go into spoiler territory, but there were a lot of side stories. There was the ex-best friend debacle, a boy who was maybe a love interest, problems with Eve's relationship with her mom, some thing where she thought she was annihilating Minnesota every time she took a pill, etc. And I just didn't feel that it tied them together enough, is what I am trying to say.

►Idk if I was supposed to want Lidia and Eve to be friends again but wow I did not. True story, I genuinely thought that Lidia was dead for most of the book, and this was going to be really heartbreaking. But she wasn't dead and these two were just crappy, crappy friends to each other. These two... well they weren't great to each other. Not before, and really not after.

Bottom Line: Fix is emotional and emotive, with a lot of important and relevant topics, but fell a bit short in wrapping them all up.

[Monique Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ Fix - J Albert Mann

Thank you @netgalley & @hbgcanada for the gifted copy in exchange of an honest review!

Flipping back and forth between haunting prose and narrative, Fix follows the story of Eve, post spinal surgery for severe scoliosis. Mann also eloquently navigated the depths of emotionally charged friendships. Fix also explores the slippery slope that is opioid addiction.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story from start to finish, however, while I usually enjoy stories with slightly unresolved endings that let you draw your own conclusions, I feel like MULTIPLE doors were opened and absolutely nothing was resolved, knocking it down a few stars for me (this might change if there ends up being a sequel that just hasn’t been announced? But the ending definitely just felt like we’d been pushed from the top of a mountain with no warning.

Overall a very thought provoking, and extremely emotional read.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scoliosis, drug addiction, friendship breakup, mom problems, it’s all here from #ownvoices author @j.albertmann! This book is wonderful! I know I’ve never read a book with a character recovering from major back surgery to correct scoliosis.
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Another beautiful thing about this book is that it is half prose and half verse. That made me want to read it first!
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I will be buying this for my HS library! It’s out in the world now!

[Ian Andress · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this, and blazed through it. It's harsh and honest. The ending is left extremely open-ended, but I honestly kind of liked that.

[Presley · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5
It was an okay read but not the type of book I'd usually read, so take this with a grain of salt if this is the type of book you like. I would normally round it up to 3 but near the end of the book I kept thinking it was 2 stars.

[MC · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love books I learn from and I learned a lot from this book - the details of scoliosis and the painful process of recovery after major surgery, the ease with which dependence on painkillers can happen, the difficulty of having such surgery during high school and the cost to relationships - with both peers and parents. J. Albert Mann tackles all of these issues with beautiful prose and raw, relatable emotions. The fact that I, someone who has never had scoliosis or such a surgery could feel what Eve was feeling is due entirely to Mann's beautifully crafted story. I am so glad I read it and I recommend it to everyone, especially teens who might not fully understand what their peers with physical disabilities are enduring.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5! Really liked the exploration of disability, addiction and friendship! There were a few aspects (and one character) that I sort of feel didn't need to be included but besides that it was a well written and quick read!

[Joelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Just wow. Young adult fiction about disability written by a disabled person.

[Ollie Ander · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this is not a memoir 1 for 1, it is informed by the author's personal experience. I went in excited to learn about and sympathize with the struggles of someone with scoliosis, and then, the struggles of drug dependence. The beginning of the novel was definitely the strongest, as it stuck primarily to these topics.

As the story went on, the passion behind the narrative seemed to lose its drive, and it morphed into just another boring YA dramatic love story. The main character revealed herself as a Mary Sue whose defining social interaction is saying people's names. Not only did she become more uninteresting as the story turned away from her surgery and dependence to her relationships, we see she's actually a pretty crappy person. As much as she might have a right to be bitter about her life, she doesn't earn the kindness others continuously throw upon her.

I didn't have as much of a problem with the chopped up storyline as it flashes from her imagination to things that really happened as I normally would, but it stretched on a long time for all that it was. The ending wasn't very satisfying as there was only the promise of change with no genuine character development throughout the novel. I'm sorry that I can only give this a 2/5 as it had a lot of promise but didn't stick to what was actually interesting/unique about it.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The raw, honest depiction of post-surgery pain totally sucked me in and the complicated agony of a close friendship dissolving kept me turning the pages until the end. Once again, J. Albert Mann has made me care about a fictional person more deeply than I thought possible. An absorbing story!

[Lys · Rating 2 out of 5]

What shines in this book is Eve's experience of feeling unsafe in her body due to scoliosis, major surgery, and lingering pain. I also really liked her relationship with Thomas. Other than that, I felt the narrative was very muddled and the ending very abrupt. It felt like too much going on -- two timelines, prose mixed with poetry, and a dream-like state due to opioids that produced a talking telescope and a pact about Minnesota disappearing. This is a compelling read, but the execution left me feeling confused.

[Deborah Zeman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard, deep, disturbing Novel in Verse that shows the effects of an addiction to Roxy. I felt like the story was all over the place, Eve’s story, but it make sense because of her addiction to Roxy. Was her attraction to THomas real? Her memories of her friendship with Lidia real? Made up? Definitely a story that should be included in the HS library collection.

[kasey s · Rating 4 out of 5]

this book was amazing. the poetry, the prose, the characters. everything. the only reason that it’s receiving 4 stars is because the ending seemed weirdly abrupt. but besides that it was a beautiful book.

[Amber Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fix is an emotional story of recovery from scoliosis surgery, opioid addiction, and the ups and downs of friendship. This YA story was very unique both plot and alternating chapters of free verse and narrative fiction.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

My full review can be found on the Epilie Aspie Chick blog!

Thank you to Little, Brown Books for providing the ARC for an honest review.

This book's summary describes it as a mystery, but it didn't read that way. Yes, the author holds back the reason why the two friends aren't talking until near the end. I hardly think that classifies this as a mystery. A better description would be that the book is about the falling out of two friends. The mix of standard writing and verse written prose did make reading a bit more interesting though.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok, this was very odd. This is supposed to be filled with suspense and faulty memory and all that thriller type stuff. I didn't find that to be the case, instead it's clear that Lidia is dealing with an addition to painkillers and the mess that's making of her life and memory. Less an unreliable narrator, more a messed up teen. And not likeable, even when she wasn't on drugs.

eARC provided by publisher via Netgalley.

[frannie.qb · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hear more of my thoughts on Youtube!

oh well if it isn’t the first 1 star rating in.. two years?
goodness this was just terrible.

TW: detailed descriptions of injuries and medical content, drug addiction, hallucinations, parental neglect.

[Annika · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to read this book for school. It was more of a middle school book than I was expecting, and I read the whole thing in about an hour. It was initially a pretty engaging read, but the ending was incredibly disappointing - none of the things that made up the plot (her drug abuse, her friendship, or Thomas) were resolved. It literally just ended. Which kind of sucked because I was interested to see if she would be able to resolve any of her issues. I suppose it did communicate to the reader that drugs are not a “fix” and can often make situations much worse, as it did for Eve. However I think this could’ve been communicated while still having a real ending. I would’ve appreciated SOME form of resolution, rather than a cutoff.
The whole book was also confusing because some scenes seemed to be hallucinations, or memories, but it wasn’t clear which was which. This initially made the book more interesting to me, as it required more thought to determine what exactly was happening - but this paired with the lazy ending just left me frustrated by the time I finished the book.
I probably wouldn’t recommend. I also don’t think this would be a good book to read if I was dealing with any issues similar to those depicted in the book, as I’d imagine feeling worse after reading about all her issues and having none of them improve (or even resolve in the slightest).

[annade · Rating 2 out of 5]

So, this story is about a teen girl who has struggled with severe scoliosis her whole life. She ends up having a spinal surgery and it's pretty much her account of recovery. What starts off as her struggles and addiction to Roxanol, the pain medication her doctor prescribed to her after her surgery, turns into an absolute mess that I'm still not sure of.

First, there's her friend, Lidia. Is she an actual person, or just someone she imagined? The end of the book tries to answer that, but it's rather nonsensical and I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

Another thing that bothered me was the male next-door neighbor. He seems real sometimes, other times he seems to be another figment of her imagination. Well, this can just be a result of all of the painkillers she's taking to deal with the aftermath of her surgery. She then suddenly starts dating him, with the scene of them kissing in the supermarket rather jarring and just plain strange.

That's my main issue with this book, I suppose. While the author does a fantastic job of describing how someone with scoliosis might feel, as well as the dangers of Eve relying and becoming addicted to Roxanol, the hallucinations and rather bizarre way she tries to convey that makes the experience off-putting and frustrating rather than the informative approach I'm sure she tried to convey in her writing.

Lastly, the writing style can be somewhat of a mess; sometimes it's done in these short poems that seemed out of place. Then, when she goes back to prose, it's done halfheartedly, almost as if Albert Mann wasn't sure of how she wanted her story to go. As a reader, it made me dissatisfied and reluctant to push through, which I end up doing because it wasn't overly long.

Strange, disappointing, and lackluster is pretty much how I would describe reading Fix. It's too bad that Eve's story couldn't be fixed as well.