Welcome to My Planet Where English is Sometimes Spoken

by Shannon Olson

"What if I never find anyone? I may as well go out and buy a bunch of cats and start wearing macrame ponchos" Shannon is 30 and single. When her relationship falters she moves home to save money (her career isn't too stable either). Once home sheis reluctantly drawn into the sometimes infuriating realm of her mother, Flo, and it takes her two years of therapy to work up the energy to go back out into the world. Life for Shannon takes on the complexities of Flo's life - from her insistence on reheating the most ancient of leftovers to maintaining her midlife crisis - as mother and daughter struggle to redefine their own boundaries.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Humor, Book Club, Contemporary, Relationships, Novels

Paperback

First published May 22, 2000

Reviews

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I spent the first half of this book waiting for something to happen and the second half not understanding how it was ever published. The writing itself is fine- Olson is not a terrible writer. The book, though? Is awful. Boring. Just bad. A college graduate who doesn't know herself very well and doesn't particularly seem to want to meanders through life and a couple of boyfriends and hangs out with her family, who is remarkably normal and dull. Seriously, reading the book is kind of like eating the world's blandest turkey sandwich when you're not all that hungry. It isn't that the food is terrible, but it isn't good enough to bother wanting to chew it. I'm sort of pissed off that I wasted my time even finishing it. One star.

[Robin Reynolds · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this. It's not laugh out loud funny but I found it amusing. I certainly did not relate to Shannon, but I did get a kick out of this passage:

My boyfriend often says that I need to learn to form my own opinions about things. "Especially with your mom," he says. "You let her run your life. You go to her for everything. You totally listen to everything she says."

While I don't believe I ran her life, I remember my daughter telling me once that her boyfriend was teasing her that every other sentence out of her mouth started with "my mom said...".

This was a little more serious than I anticipated, but it was a good mix of fluff and serious. While I may not run out and hunt down everything else the author has written, if I come across any of her other books I will definitely pick them up.

[Jen Bohle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I give up. Goodreads has twice deleted my review as I tried to post,so I'll just say that this book is terrible, even for a beach read. I read it in 3 hours before my vacation even began, while waiting at my doctor's office. (Don't spend money on this!)

There are therapy sessions, bits of pop psychology, and mother daughter interludes that attempt to elevate this work to something more than the prototypical chick lit(This is often a derogatory term, but here I mean it to be value neutral. Chick lit has its place, as macho lit does. No need to be a genre snob.) It doesn't work here. This is not Helen Fielding or Jennifer Weiner. The quest is almost always for the perfect man and this novel is no exception, it's just that the men are thoroughly dreadful and uninteresting and the novel sometimes tries to be a bildungsroman, as Shanny, the protagonist, wants to get her shit together and eat more than cold cereal all day and pay her bills on time.

So, there's very little plot, and the protagonist is silly, codependent, and grating.(Now I'm a pop psychologist) I want her to stop calling her mom by her first name(Flo, for christ's sake!)and I want the author to rethink the awful nicknames (cracker butt for one) And Shanny's working on a master's in literature and doesn't know what transcendentalism is. That bothers me a lot (I'm shallow.)

This has been billed as chick lit for thinking ladies but I'd much rather go completely low brow and read chick lit that's not trying (and failing miserably) to be something better. Give me cheap thrills, debauchery, and Manolo Blahnik name dropping. Give me Candace Bushnell.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the few books that I've ever picked up and read 50 pages (which is a lot for me) without even noticing. I like Olson's dry humor, and it's satisfying when someone's own experiences or views on life mirror your own.

My only real problem with the book came as I got closer to the end and realized that Olson is kind of a whiny schmuck. Her anecdotes about the troubles of living with her parents and her inability to pay her bills on time were cute and funny at first, but they ended up being a little irritating. Why is it so difficult for a talented 30-year-old to stop acting like she's still in high school?

The book was still a fun read for the most part, and the short chapters were a huge plus for easily distracted people such as myself.

Favorite quotes:

"'Your father,' says Flo, 'always felt that tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow would be a better day. That everything he couldn't be and do today would magically happen tomorrow. The thing he has never understood,' she says, 'is that you have to make those changes, you have to take steps to change things, or the next day will be the same,' she says, 'with all the weight of the day before on top of it.'"

"Today, maybe because it's gray again - it's been a gray year - or maybe because I've watched 'Father of the Bride' the night before - my sister has already rented it to get ideas - all I can think about is that marriage and television and home-ownership are inextricably linked and created to dull us into complacency."

[Suzyberry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun romp of a read. Shannon Olson is a local author, and it was fun to 'see' some of the places she described and truly understand the character of the family life and people of the area. PLUS it's just plain a well written book...the main character, Shannon, and her mother have a wild relationship that was comical and sometimes sad. And Shannon's life, while seemingly falling apart with no real prospects ahead, proves to be anything but...and is in all truthfulness just that...life on this planet! Welcome to a book you will read all the way through.

[Ken Heard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was first leery of this book, fearing it may be simply chick lit. But I gave it the college try and was really pleased. Shannon Olson writes well. Her semi-fictional quirky character of the same name as the author has boyfriend problems, a bleak future and an over-bearing mother who sends her newspaper clippings about health, finance and other items. The book is funny, but is also deep and poignant. I enjoyed it tremedously. A good surprise.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I originally read this book in my early twenties, I really loved it. I felt like I was reading the Minnesotan version of Bridget Jones' Diary. I'm currently trying to re-read books I loved the first time I read them. Now that it's more than ten years later, and I am living a completely different life...not loving the book so much. Finding myself more annoyed than I thought I would. But, I'm going to finish it once more and then put it in my Little Free Library!

[Cindy (BKind2Books) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Calling it on page 57...this one isn't for me. I found the MC to be boring and somewhat vapid. Her relationship with her boyfriend is puzzling and calling her mother by her first name was confusing. There is very little happening, so far and now there's a change to a second person POV that is utterly awful. So it may be a fun beach read for some - it's not very long and the writing is fine, but I have *so many* other books calling to me. Time to let it go...

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oof not good, took me way too long to finish. First of all, there was no plot! It was just a random string of events in this woman’s life. There would be a snippet that was entertaining, followed by me falling asleep in the next couple pages. Also this woman was so odd, very cringy behavior at times.

[Gail Kushner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this quirky novel. Some of it was funny. Some of it was philosophical. Even though I'm older than the 30 year old main character, I still wonder (sometimes) where life is going.

[Smi4ever2 · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun, easy read.

[Lena · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected it to be, because I just can't stop myself from judging books by their covers. The illustration reminded me of an early 2000s webcomic, which made me think I was in for a lighthearted, zany romp with a spunky protagonist who would be making wry observations, and the descriptive blurb on the back seemed to corroborate this impression. The book was actually much sadder. I didn't think it was particularly funny. Maybe funny in a gallows humor kind of way, but definitely not laugh-out-loud funny. Also, the cartoon on the front seems totally unrelated to the content (is she eating cookies? There are not really any cookies in this book).

Despite my expectations being subverted, I did like the book just fine. The narrator is a woman about my age who clearly has ADHD, though in the year 2000 she wouldn't have been diagnosed with it. She is also clearly suffering from post-traumatic stress after being sexually assaulted multiple times by her first boyfriend at the beginning of the book, though I don't recall the word "rape" being used a single time, because in the year 2000 most people would not have considered the incidents to count as rape. And then there are the problems she has that are actually mentioned on the cover (she has unhealthy enmeshment with her mother, she can't manage her debt, and she doesn't know what to do with her life). She is a girl with a lot of problems, and mostly what she does is goof off, make the same mistakes over and over, and hyperfixate on her mother's happiness.

Time moves strangely in this book. Because so much of it is recounting day-to-day minutiae, it is a bit jarring when there are sudden jumps forward in the timeline, or when we are catching up with things that have happened in the past. But I think this is a bit clever, because it recreates what it is like to actually live life. We cannot see our lives spread out in their entirety before us-- we live through individual days, our brains process the vast amount of information we receive and then decide what information to keep, and what we hold onto is what eventually gets worked into the overarching narrative. Later on we can see patterns and we run through the memories again. And while we spend each individual day going to work, going to the bank, flipping through TV channels and whatever else, eventually that time adds up and we find that six months, twelve months, five years have passed.

The reason I am not giving five stars is that while I think this is a clever narrative flow, it can be boring to read about a woman going on about her mother and neighbors and boyfriends for pages on end. Having the woman's therapist repeatedly point out her fixation with others does not actually spare the reader from the experience of reading it all.

But even so, I would still like to direct the narrator's therapist to this Didion quote:

How it felt to me: that is getting closer to the truth about a notebook. I sometimes delude myself about why I keep a notebook, imagine that some thrifty virtue derives from preserving everything observed. See enough and write it down, I tell myself, and then some morning when the world seems drained of wonder, some day when I am only going through the motions of doing what I am supposed to do, which is write — on that bankrupt morning I will simply open my notebook and there it will all be, a forgotten account with accumulated interest, paid passage back to the world out there: dialogue overheard in hotels and elevators and at the hatcheck counter in Pavillon (one middle-aged man shows his hat check to another and says, “That’s my old football number”); impressions of Bettina Aptheker and Benjamin Sonnenberg and Teddy (“Mr. Acapulco”) Stauffer; careful aperçus about tennis bums and failed fashion models and Greek shipping heiresses, one of whom taught me a significant lesson (a lesson I could have learned from F. Scott Fitzgerald, but perhaps we all must meet the very rich for ourselves) by asking, when I arrived to interview her in her orchid-filled sitting room on the second day of a paralyzing New York blizzard, whether it was snowing outside.

I imagine, in other words, that the notebook is about other people. But of course it is not. I have no real business with what one stranger said to another at the hatcheck counter in Pavillon; in fact I suspect that the line “That’s my old football number” touched not my own imagination at all, but merely some memory of something once read, probably “The Eighty-Yard Run.” Nor is my concern with a woman in a dirty crepe-de-Chine wrapper in a Wilmington bar. My stake is always, of course, in the unmentioned girl in the plaid silk dress. Remember what it was to be me: that is always the point.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grabbed this book from a little free library, with little expectation. This may, in part, be why I enjoyed it so: it surpassed my low expectations.
It’s a quick read. The way it’s broken up moves the story along, although I think it becomes obvious that it isn’t a book where there is an ending solution so that can be frustrating. It didn’t bother me, I enjoyed the therapy side of it - although this part seemed a little outdated. Someone tell me this is the case. The therapist seemed passive aggressive at times.
It’s weird to read a book that is not very old or historical fiction, yet is set in the 90s and much has changed. I enjoyed the main character. The first third of the book I thought it was a story of an adult with autism or some condition that wouldn’t fully allow her to be an full functioning adult on her own, but then the story totally changes.

[Bruce Overby · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is funny and insightful, giving readers an in-depth look into the ruminations of a marginally likable young woman dealing with life challenges and transitions. Family dynamics and a range of love interests draw you into the narrative and keep you turning the pages. The protagonist, whose name is the same as the author, behaves in ways that continually disappoint, then reacts with a wry humor that takes the sting out and makes the behavior feel real and relatable.

Unfortunately, the protagonist shows no strong desire or agency, and in the end, doesn’t seem to have undergone any significant growth or change. The decisions she makes are subpar, but not disastrous, and the emotions she feels are relatable, but not surprising. I had planned to read the sequel, but now I’m on the fence.

[Augusta Dionysus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read Olson's second novel, Children of God Go Bowling, and I loved seeing where that novel picked up from. Olson writes with truth and heart, without holding anything back. While the story is relatable for me, readers at large can enjoy the raw poignancy in this novel; it truly delves deep into the various joys and sorrows of life, and the struggle in searching for a reason for everything, especially loneliness. The mental health themes in Olson's books are so important in today's world, and this story is one of those that we should all read.

[Allison Renner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t tell you how many times I read this book back in 2001 through like 2006. I was so sure my college years and beyond would mimic Olson’s. They didn’t, but I still absolutely love the seemingly-confessional style of her writing.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

An autobiography disguised as a fictional thesis for a Masters in English program. A thirty-year old's search for love and meaning through the lens of her relationships with men, her therapist, parents and siblings. Fun and real. I enjoyed it a lot.

[Michela Desjardins · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was a very slow read, got really bored at parts.

[Amy L · Rating 5 out of 5]

MN author- this book made me laugh out loud!

[Jean Carlton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Entered 2019
Read 2001
I rate every book entereed years later as 2 stars (ok) unless i starred the entry in my original log.

[onyx · Rating 4 out of 5]

my s/o sent me this book by mail, saying it was his favorite, and it really helped me understand him better :)

[Alyssa Skinner · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was waiting for the book to get funny, and. . . maybe I just missed the humor, somehow?

[Leta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and relatable.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick quirky read. Like that it is based in Minnesota and that the character grew up in my current city.

[Lana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t even finish it. Read 60 pages. So booooring, it has no plot whatsoever.

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished the book. It was something to read, but I wouldn’t say it was a great read. It was just alright for me. I’ll pass this one on to the local friends of the library for them to resell.

[An-Sofie Neirynck · Rating 2 out of 5]

Niet zo grappig als de cover je laat denken maar het laat je wel beter voelen over je eigen keuzes in het leven :))

[Jarrod · Rating 5 out of 5]

the definitive return of saturn experience. chef's kiss

[Arminzerella · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can’t remember what I read that made me pick this up. The title is a bit of a grabber, but the story felt like a well-trodden path and I had a déjà vu sense that I’d been down it many a time before. Still, this was pleasantly funny. The main character, Shanny (hmm, based on the author?) is this sort of lost soul. She’s out of college and out in the real world living with her boyfriend who’s this deadbeat guy who can’t hold jobs, can’t get an education, and has this sort of love/hate relationship with Shanny. She has trouble getting him out of her life and she starts seeing a therapist. And then she moves home to live with her parents for awhile. And then she decides that she’s going to go to grad school and study English because she can’t think of anything else. She finds another boyfriend – one who’s much better – but she doesn’t really appreciate him. It may be that things really just aren’t right between them and that they don’t mesh in some important way, but Shanny’s so confused about what she wants and so unsure about so many other things, it just seems like it’s not about the boyfriend, really, it’s about her. She’s the one who needs to do the mental housecleaning. There are some really funny moments, but there are plenty of painful ones, too. This will probably appeal most to the 20-30 year old singletons who have struggled through similar periods of adjustment and soul-searching on their ways to wherever (perhaps only to find that the search goes on and we don’t always find what we’re looking for – because we don’t know what that looks like). Plenty of good stuff here. Wish it felt a little more…original? Solid chick lit, though.

[Jeannine Eilers · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Welcome to My Planet, the fictional Shannon Olson--who shares her creator's name--is witty but confused, whip-smart but unable to fully release her ties to bad boyfriends, childhood obsessions, and the "gassy expanse" of marginal jobs. With the help of a therapist known only as the counselor, this almost 30-year-old Midwestern neurotic gamely tries to steer her way past credit-card-fueled Target binges and a too close relationship with her mother, Flo, and to slowly inch toward the elusive land of adulthood. Comparisons to the charming neurotics found in Bridget Jones's Diary and The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing are inevitable, but beside the point: Shannon is less brittle, less self-consciously hip than those postmodern heroines. Contemplating living on her own again after a stint with her parents, she whines to the counselor, "I've never really lived anywhere else. What if I never find anyone? I may as well go out and adopt a bunch of cats and start wearing macramé ponchos."
-Maura Alia Bramkamp


I have to say that while I find the above description to be an accurate account of this book, I did not enjoy reading it. The plot was hard to follow. The main character in this book is a very mixed up 30 year old female who jumps from one scenario to the next...