The Way to Love Your Wife: Creating Greater Love and Passion in the Bedroom

by Clifford L. Penner, Joyce J. Penner

Sex matters in a marriage―a lot! Yet many men secretly The Way to Love Your Wife will tell you what you really want to how to make sex meaningful to your wife, build desire, get past sexual problems, and enjoy guilt-free sex.
Noted sex therapists Clifford and Joyce Penner also unveil the mystery of “what women want” and show how simple it is to boost your love life by letting your wife lead. Their candid, clear style will encourage you to make great sex happen―or happen more often―in your marriage.

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 15, 2007

Reviews

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not at all what I expected when I started reading it. My wife heard about it on the radio and suggested I get a copy, and I finally did. I was thinking that it was going to be a book telling men about all the things they need to do let their wives know they are cherished, so that physical intimacy can work. Books like that are good and helpful, and I've read many of them (e.g. For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women). While this book does include those concepts, it also deals more specifically with how to improve the experience once you and your wife have made it to the point of physical intimacy. It's well written and decidedly helpful.

[Jay Roberson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a practical layman's approach to the ins and outs of sexuality in marriage and the Penners know their stuff. This book addresses issues from desire, struggles in communication, addictions and abuse. I would recommend it to any married man.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written to Christian husbands to improve their sex lives, though there is one chapter written specifically for wives with the stated assumption that they have already read that far too.

Given the complexity of human behavior, the description of relational problems is remarkably insightful. The premise is that for a mutually satisfying relationship a man needs to give up his rights (p104) and follow the pace of his wife, and sometimes the husband won't get what he wants (p247).

It uncovers poor assumptions and myths. For example, planning can help prepare the mood (p56, p237), and the wife does not need to be easily aroused (p304).

It gives several reasons for her lack of interest, including a husband who persistently pursues sex (p189).

It has specific advice that can be practiced. For example, when tempted to pursue, start with with emotional connection (p47) because the husband's raw eagerness pushes the wife away (p46). Then, avoid using words because words can cause the wife to feel pressured (p127). Focus on mutual pleasure instead of performance, which is a rather involuntary response.

The book even addresses common issues such as the mind wandering (p326) and headaches.