Well, well, well.
Looking at fairytale books on amazon, this one came up with good reviews, so I finally checked it out at the library (good thing I didn't buy it sight unseen!). Just read it to the kids tonight, making snarky side comments all the way through.
I'm not a fan of authors who adapt fairy tales for kids without making it kid friendly. It's like she literally translated the text from the old english or whatever, regardless of whether or not it made sense. My kids were slightly confused at times, because there isn't always an explanation for why someone says this or does that. In the end it came off as incomplete and cheesy.
More than that, though, I'm really sick of stories that are pure quackery. My girls are intensely interested in the female characters of these kinds of stories, so when a girl goes around bad mouthing a guy who is helping her out, I want her to get her come-uppance so at least there's a moral to it all. But no, she just keeps on abusing him, and then suddenly feels ashamed, and then he admits that the more she angered him, the harder he fought for her...suuuuuuure.
But wait, it gets better.
So I guess I should explain that they're traveling to free her sister who's being held prisoner. Anyway, they finally get there, she points out her sister in a window, and he's like, 'ok, she looks nice enough, I'll go to battle for her.' Then he goes to battle the other knight, who apparently is keeping her prisoner cause he has a crush on her, and so our hero tells him he's an idiot for trying to love someone who doesn't love you back...Ok. Wise words.
So they start to duel, which goes on for hours. What I loved though, is that they apparently take breaks: "and now and again they unlaced their helmets and sat down to rest." THANK YOU!! Someone is finally addressing the logistics! Kids totally understand the need for a drink or a potty break or being just plain tired, which is never, never mentioned in battle scenes.
Well, anyhow, during these rests, the hero looks up at the sister in the window to regain his courage, and just when he's about to lose, the other sister is all yelling at him to get up cause her sister is looking. Apparently that was pretty embarrassing cause he gets up and beats his opponent. Now the loser knight, who incidentally has a bunch of knights of his own, goes up and asks forgiveness of the girl he kidnapped, but she won't let the hero through the door to her until she knows him better.
Uhhhhh. Didn't he just save you? You're ok with the evil knight but not the good one? Uhhhhhh. How about asking your sister?
No, instead, her great girly subterfuge is to capture his dwarf to get info from him. So she sends them packing, they wander around the countryside, and in the middle of the night someone comes and steals his dwarf. He tries to chase after them, but he and his horse get stuck in some swamp and he sloshes around in the dark for the better part of the night. Finally he ends up back at the castle, where his dwarf has already dished the dirt, and he tries busting in to get him back, "shouting to the guards that the must give him back his dwarf!" (Um, I'm pretty sure that's kind of insensitive/politically incorrect, FYI.) So they open the doors, he walks in and immediately is relieved and yet somewhat irritated to see his dwarf just hanging out like nothing was wrong.
Meanwhile, formerly kidnapped princess decides to disguise herself as...............wait for it.............................. a princess!
(good one honey, he'll never guess. I mean, he only saw you from a mile away, and how many princesses can be in this castle anyway?)
So she apparently successfully dupes him, and they spend they day exchanging 'fair words and kind looks' between dancing, while he's wondering in the back of his head about whatever happened to the girl he rescued. But she has already decided she's going to marry him, so she reveals all her little tricks, and then walks smart-mouth sister, who obviously has all the history with him, and our hero takes one girl in one hand and the other girl in the other hand, and 'he was more glad than ever before. Thus ends the tale of Sir Gareth of Orkney."
And the final parting shot?
The three of them walking off, hand in hand, into the sunset, with smart-mouth looking back at the reader with a devious smirk.
So what should we conclude kids? That he's got two wives? One wife and one mistress? A mistress plotting against the wife? It leaves so many, many questions unanswered.
and I'm pretty sure there isn't really anything here for kids.