Re The Secret Wife - Lynne Graham puts a nice twist on the mistaken for a mistress trope in this one.
The h is named Rosie and when the story starts, she is twenty years old and has just lost her newly discovered father. She sneaks into the memorial service, as she doesn't want her father's adopted son, Constantine, or his wife Thespina to know who she is.
(Rosie was the product of a brief affair. Rosie's father was estranged from his wife, Thespina, over her inability to bear children and Rosie's mother was his temporary secretary. They had a moment or two and then Constantine's parent's died and Thespina and Rosie's father adopted Constantine and had their own reconciliation.)
Rosie's mum was preggers, but she knew her affair was over, so she married another man and did not tell him she was already pregnant. Then the woman died and the new husband wasn't a fan of Rosie's, so she went into care. Rosie met her current BFF, Maurice, when he saved her from some abusive nematodes at the foster home they lived in.
Now Rosie shares a house with Maurice and flogs various items at local markets. Rosie wants to open an antique store and has a thing for collecting Sylvac Bunnies. She has spent the last four months living in her father's house, at his behest.
Rosie is pretty independent and very pragmatic. Her father was definitely the very patriarchal type, so he and Rosie had some huge adjustments to make to be able to reconnect.
Rosie is just grateful she finally got to meet her father, but she is also very honest with herself about how much she resents his inability to understand what her life was like and there is also some resentment about Constantine being adopted and raised in what should have been her place.
Constantine finds Rosie at the now deceased father's house, she is wearing the father's familial ring and Con immediately leaps into the "you're a harlot and my adopted father's mistress mode." Rosie doesn't take that tart shaming or the harlot tag lying down. She fires right back that Con is a sewer slurping gutter snarfing toe rag and he has no right to think anything about her.
(Just to be clear, Constantine is an idiot. He leaps to every negative thing he can think about Rosie on little to no evidence. The nasty names and the tart shaming are massive in this and really, Constantine brings it all on himself, so I had no mercy for him. Rosie smacks him down repeatedly over the course of this one and he totally deserves it.)
Rosie decides that while meeting her father was great, life must go on. Unfortunately on her way out of her late father's house and with Con's nasty names reverberating around, she runs into Thespina on the doorstep.
Thespina recognizes Rosie's ring right away and Con is quick to jump in and say they are engaged. Rosie is appalled at the lie, but she also has a lot of compassion for Thespina, who is so obviously grieving and Rosie is equally quick to agree that she and Con are engaged, because she doesn't want Thespina to hurt more than she already is.
Rosie and Con part ways, with Rosie sorry to have maybe hurt Thespina, but vowing never to talk to Con again, cause he is a slime pustule in a flash suit.
Rosie goes to her home and has a row with Maurice, her housemate, for messing things up while she was gone. In the middle of the big clean up, Con shows up and apparently Rosie's father left instructions in his will that Constantine has to marry Rosie to be able to inherit Rosie's father's estate. Rosie's father's business assets are frozen and Constantine can't tell Thespina about the will, so he can't fight it in court.
Rosie is shocked, she got the family ring and is happy doing her own thing, but when Con leaps to the conclusion that she must be preggers from her father - whom Con still believes was her lover- Rosie is gobsmacked.
Constantine makes some more nasty comments, this time about Maurice and Rosie and Rosie smacks his face. Then Con gets nasty.
He tells Rosie she will either marry him or he will force her and Maurice to find another place to live. Maurice's reclamation business is run out of their home, and they rent from Maurice's uncle, but Con is a wealthy Greek gadzillionaire and Rosie is sure he could use his money and power to cause a lot of harm.
But it is actually Maurice who finally pimps her out, he guilts Rosie into agreeing to marry Constantine by telling her that her father's employees will suffer and that Constantine is offering her a decent amount of compensation in his bid to make her play for pay. Rosie has to think about things, but she isn't ready to concede.
We get another confrontation between Con and Rosie, when he deliberately breaks a very pricey Sylvac bunny and Rosie is disgusted and appalled. Rosie only sells her Sylvac bunnies to good homes, so while Con did pay for it, he was deliberately harmful to it and Rosie decides to sort the situation out once and for all.
She tells Con that his adopted father is her biological dad and Constantine, true to the idiocy that is his character, doesn't believe her and Rosie has no proof. Instead he makes more tarty gold digger harlot comments and Rosie pretty much gives up.
She tells Con off in excellent style, because while he is calling her all manner of nasty names and being ugly, he has been in a long term affair with a married woman and he has no room to to judge. However, for her father's business and his memory and to avoid causing Thespina any more grief, Rosie agrees to marry Con.
The wedding is not spectacular and Rosie has no intentions of even living with Con. She envisions a quick registry office wedding and then separate lives and then a discrete divorce. Naturally, it does't work that way.
Con forces Rosie to spend the night with him and Maurice, wheeler dealer that he is, leaks news of the marriage to the press, or at least his mouthy sister does. Rosie gets a few more stabs in at Constantine when she plays the Bimbo in the Bar to the utmost hilt and manages to get his bodyguard totally plastered on one drink.
Constantine is furious, but then so is Rosie and we get a LOT more battles with Rosie winning a few when she throws wine in Con's face. Rosie gets hauled off to Greece, because Constantine reveals that her father spent almost all of his money buying back his family estate and Con was waiting for him to ask him to bail him out.
(Which kinda negates the reason Constantine married Rosie, if the house was all there was to the inheritance, but Rosie is too upset and to overwhelmed to think about that.)
So we all go to Greece and Con is at his nematode slime swilling best, he treats Rosie horribly and parades her around like a bimbo. Then he tells her she has to act like his wife when Rosie is all about ignoring him.
So Rosie does indeed act like his wife, especially when his latest fling shows up and is jumping on him in the downstairs reception room. Rosie comes in on the OW's act and proceeds to make dire threats and warnings and tells Constantine to get his tart out of her home or he will be sorry.
It is now Constantine's turn to be gobsmacked and Rosie finally wins again. Then Con tries to force an experiment in the lurve force mojo and Rosie freezes up. Constantine is shocked that Rosie reacts like he is going to attack her. (Rosie IS attracted, but she has some PTSD, so she freezes up.)
Constantine is now determined to win Rosie over and get some bonus tower of power rides. Rosie isn't going to give in easily, so she decides to take off. There is a really funny scene when Takis, Constantine's bodyguard, helps her to escape. Rosie goes to her late father's newly purchased house and the housekeeper knows who she is right away.
Back in England, Constantine and Maurice are having fits, cause Rosie has disappeared. Constantine finally shows up three days later and he has a whole new wardrobe for Rosie. Constantine is convinced that every other guy in Rosie's life - Maurice and her late father- are rivals.
Rosie tries to explain about Maurice saving her, but Con still believes that they are lovers and that Rosie is misguided by hero worship.
We finally get to the epic consummation scene, after yet ANOTHER of Con's bimbo's shows up at a restaurant they are eating at and Rosie tells the woman she is happy to loan Constantine out, right in front of the tabloids. Constantine is furious all over again, but Rosie tells him it is just setting the stage for the big break up.
Con decides that he is going to get his leg over before they are done with each other and Rosie finally gives into the Treacherous Body Syndrome. Constantine messes things up again when he refuses to recognize that Rosie was grooming unicorns prior to knowing him.
Then Maurice shows up and Con gets even crazier. He chases Maurice and Rosie down in his car and Maurice tells Rosie that since she admits she is in love with Con, she should go back.
Con is his usual nematode slime swilling self, as he takes Rosie home. So Rosie decides to just ignore him and pretend he isn't there, after she gives him a very funny verbal beratement.
This drives Con crazier and the housekeeper decides that she needs to pimp Rosie out, so she chastises Rosie. Rosie knows that her and Con being married was her late father's dearest wish, but Rosie doesn't want to be the temporary flavor of the month that Constantine fills his life with.
Rosie is absolutely correct when she tells Con that he treats her like he treats all of his women and he thought that if he continued to put her down, she would work harder to comply with his wishes and be more eager to please. But Rosie has more self respect than that and she has nothing more to say to him.
Constantine only has his roofie kisses to fall back on at this point and Rosie is definitely feeling the purple passion. Treacherous body syndrome strikes again and this time, it looks like Con and Rosie might be able to work things out.
Until Constantine finds some papers that Rosie's father's lawyer delivered and they reveal the truth about her being his daughter. Constantine has to have ANOTHER ranty moment, cause now he claims he is tied to Rosie for life and she should have tried harder to tell him the truth.
Rosie quite rightly says she did and that he did not believe her. So Con starts calling her names again and then Con goes and gets paralytically drunk. Rosie feels bad, because Con is clearly convinced that she was just withholding all this to be spiteful and Rosie's earlier memory of her initial resentment makes her feel guilty.
Rosie takes off while Con is rambling about bunnies and being hung over, but then she decides to go back and sort things out. She runs into Thespina, her father's wife, who now admits that she knows that Rosie was her late husband's love child and that she has known about her for 20 yrs.
But she also admits that Rosie's father was weak and couldn't handle Thespina knowing the truth and Thespina also had to protect her pride. Thespina explains that she went along with the pretense and she is sorta, maybe a little sorry for it.
Then she tackily throws in a bid for a grandchild when Con says their marriage is real and Rosie claims that it is fake. Thespina takes herself off and Con has his big explanations to get through. Rosie doesn't want to hear it tho and she takes off to pack.
Rosie is packing and yelling at Con and he has to say sorry for calling her horrible names and for being a humongous nematode snot snarfer. Then Con's married lover calls and Rosie throws his phone in the water pitcher.
Con is very quick to reassure Rosie that he and the married lady haven't been together for years, he only told his adopted parents he was involved with her to keep Thespina from trying to marry him off.
Rosie is all set to rain words of fire on Con's head when he finally admits that if she walks out on him, he will feel like his life should end. He claims to know that she is still in love with Maurice and that he will be patient and not run off the rails with put downs and demands because he is so jealous, cause he is really, truly, seriously in love with her.
Rosie caves and explains that she was never in love with Maurice, he is just her friend and that she loves Constantine. They decide to lurve it up again and Rosie asks why Con was drunk and rambling about bunnies.
Constantine admits that he wanted to win Rosie over, so he had his staff go out and buy all the Sylvac bunnies they could get their hands on. Rosie now has two crates of Sylvac bunnies waiting her for her perusal.
But before Rosie goes to look at them, she wants another round of Constantine playing gangster who seduces an innocent bystander and they go back to lurving it up again for another LG HP HEA.
This one is not really a four star book, more like a 3.5. But Rosie and her very quality snark are so endlessly entertaining, that I had to bump it up. Constantine is more of a problem, because his nastiness and epic stupidity go on for way, way too long.
Still, his attitude of idiocy is enough to keep the plot moving and he does a decent enough grovel at the end. I am not sure it was enough for all that he originally said, but I can be happy that Rosie is happy and it is for the most part a believable HEA and a highly entertaining HPlandia outing.