Got Warrants?: Dispatches from the Dooryard

by Timothy A. Cotton

For the hundreds of thousands of followers of the Bangor, Maine, Police Department on social media, the "Got Warrants?" feature brings a regular dose of levity. Pulled straight from daily reports, these short interludes provide a welcome spin on the standard police log. Collected here is a fresh batch of all-true police-related hijinks . Poking fun at human nature and turning ne'er-do-wells into sages of silliness, Got Warrants? reminds us all to step back, take a deep breath, and try not to take things so seriously.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Comedy, Short Stories

224 pages, Paperback

Published June 1, 2024

About the author

Tim Cotton is a detective lieutenant with the Bangor Police Department and commander of their criminal investigations division. A recipient of the Erma Bombeck Award for humor, his writing has been published in a number of newspapers, magazines, and websites, most recently CarTalk.com and the Bangor Daily News. The uniform company Blauer also posts a regular podcast, narrated by Cotton. He lives in Bangor, Maine.

Reviews

[Dave McIntyre · Rating 5 out of 5]

I guess you could drop $20 at a Starbucks or a fast food drive thru. Or on lottery tickets. Or this book. It’s very filling with no aftertaste. Peanut. Gluten free. It’s not a mystery book. But it sure is a page turner. And the chance of winning are way better than those scratch offs where I never seem to have a coin but a good thumbnail will do. I can’t guarantee you’ll like it but my odds are better than those tickets sold the state counts on. Tim Cotton is a writer. He does other things. Like keeping the peace in our jagged piece of the nation. As he likes to call it. Read it. Hold that bright yellow book in your hands. This folks. Is what writing is all about. I know I’m long winded. The Mrs says that a lot. Go read. Have fun.

[Abigail · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea, both for the humor and the writing style. It was a quick read, which I’ll give Mr. Cotton credit for, but I didn’t laugh once, which sort of defeats the purpose of the book, I think.

[Connor Sams · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who works in public service, I can relate to the notion of storytelling. With all of the encounters you have on a daily basis, you grow a book series worth of funny stories, funny people, and funny calls. With all of that experience, it’s not hard to come up with ideas, it’s hard to put it onto paper in a way that will be enjoyable and fun. Cotton takes the Police Blotter idea, and twists it into a fun, witty and clever way to tell the comings and goings of the people of his Maine police department. While these stories could be from anyone, at any town police department, Cotton interweaves subtle cues that make each story unique, but applicable. For anyone who should wonder what dealing with people on a daily basis is like, there is no better way to understand than by this book. It’s the small and funny interactions like this book is full of, that make you enjoy your job that much more.

[Daniel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a book type that was popular before the Internet. A collection of anecdotes written in a smarmy or if your being kind humorous way. In this case the anecdotes are of police activity in or around Bangor Maine.

This was a perfectly acceptable book of this type and gave a smile or two. Would work fine as a bathroom book if that was still a thing. Websites or podcasts do this better.

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book. The subject matter is interesting, and the writer's presentation makes what could have been very dull reading (most reports make for dull reading) into an enjoyable way to pass the time. Alliterations, wandering off on tangents, the style, and the vocabulary - but most of all the sense of humor - everything combines to make for a book that you both want to keep reading and put down to save some for later. It's a perfect example of wanting to have your cake and eat it, too.

If you are interested in human nature and how it expresses itself, this book is for you.

[Ben Savage · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice, easily digestible coffee table stories.

Author of a popular blog/ Facebook posts and keeper of the " Duck of Justice " at Bangor Police Dept, Lieutenant Timothy Cotton has been there. Done that and got the tee shirts. Just recently retired, this collection of republished Tales from the Police Blotter is his swan....er... duck song.

I found myself nodding with the preposterous presentations of peculiarities and profound personifications of popular peons ably packing into a petite production. ( He has fun with alliteration often). All too often will EMS/LEOS/ Fire find themselves facing these people.

But the way Cotton faces these with humility, humanity and down to earth common sense is profound. He doesn't shame or cajole he merely relates in a matter of fact humerous way what occured- just the facts, ma'am as Sgt. Joe Friday stated. Far too often, social media in general develops into name calling and slandering. He tries to rise above thise.

Four stars only for its length and collection of short stories style, this one is reccommended for true crime fans, humanity fans and people who ask me about my job.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

When a favorite author writes their second book, the first question that often comes to mind- whether it is asked aloud or not- is whether the new book will be as good as the first book, followed closely by " Should I buy it?"

The one answer to both questions is "Yep."

I am always a little surprised when I see that Bangor, ME is a bit of a metropolis because when Cotton takes me there and introduces me around, it's a small town with lots of heart.

I love the cover of this one, too

[Margi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply put, I loved this book. I also loved Tim’s first book, The Detective in the Dooryard. I’ve learned so much about the compassion of police officers, their patience and kindness. And their sense of humor - wow.
As a profession, I am thankful they are here to serve and protect. But with his books full of enhancements of the police reports, we get to know these officers even more.
I highly recommend both books.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been reading Lt (ret) Tim Cotton’s missives on the Bangor Police Department’s Facebook page for many years. This book reads like a series of posts…in a good way. Little snippets of the daily life of a police officer. Some were funny, some sad but they all made me think. If we all listened to Tim, the world would be a better place. “Keep your hands to yourself, leave other people’s things alone and be kind to one another. All we have is each other.”

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fan of Tim Cotton's Facebook page and his blog I couldn't wait to start reading and did so the day I received it.. As a former resident of the Bangor, Maine area I could recognize all the places he mentioned which was nice.... but his writing style was the key to the pure enjoyment of every page.

[David Vaughan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another fine collection of humorous stories from Tim Cotton (TC). If you follow the marginally famous Facebook page of the Bangor, ME Police Department you know of the semi-regular Got Warrants feature. It is a funny take on the reports from calls received by the department. This book is a collection of similar stories and is good for a chuckle.

[Kristjan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short stories from encounters of the Bangor (Maine) Police Department with members of the public. The author adds a lot of flourishes (sometimes over the top), but overall enjoyable, and sometimes, hilarious to read. Caution: Quite a few of the stories are not suitable for children.

[Earthwatchaddict · Rating 5 out of 5]

A second book that doesn’t disappoint. His style of writing makes me laugh and I find sharing some of his lines with friends. Check out his Facebook page and blog for more opportunities to snort in your coffee.😂

[Erik Sapp · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author has a good sense of humor and way of approaching the police calls he writes about. I feel that many of the accounts are lacking resolution. What happened after the person was taken to jail?

[Cathleen Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was cute for the first few hours, but it was a lot of the same thing just repackaged with different words. People drunk or high. They go stupid things. Cops are patient and kind. Insert Funny alliteration and plays on words.

Great for social media, a bit much for a book.

[Janet Jonas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh-out-loud collection of enjoyable, funny, and sometimes alliterative samples from real police logs from Bangor, Maine. Readers of the Bangor Police Department's social media will recognize the "Got Warrants?" posts as some of the most humor-filled and charming on any platform.

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a delightful collection.

If you haven't yet discovered Tim Cotton, you need to! if you've been a fan for awhile, this compilation of little vignettes will remind you why you're a fan..

[Donna Mehner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Consisting of short, humorous retellings of the Bangor, Maine Police Department responses to calls. While entertaining some of the humorous tactics used to write Got Warrants are draining. The stories themselves are a good look into the situations police find themselves. Rated 2.75/5.

[Jennifer Mattson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a long-time follower of TC and the Bangor Police page. I finally got around to this book in my TBR pile. A great way to kick of 2024. TC never fails to disappoint in this collection of missives from the jagged edge.

[Rebecca Heywood · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short, funny read, recommended by Mike Rowe. I laughed out loud at some of the stories, and not many books can do that. The use of alliteration is abundant and always awkwardly aware of autonomy.

[Evlqn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding Read!

Excellent way to spend your time. Tim Cotton has a wonderful view of the world around him and a wonderful way of sharing. This is a book that I will read many times, and I hope others will as well.

[Arin Brutlag · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is written like someone trying to stretch the word count on an essay. The humor is forced. The prose is purple. It does not take multiple pages to tell a story about how the police were called and didn't actually manage to get there fast enough. Didn't finish.

[StaceyC · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wanted to read something a little lighter. I love Mr. Cotton’s writing style. This was exactly what I was looking for as a good way to start the year with some optimism. (But some of the calls, you just have to shake your head.) It is amazing how much patience BPD exhibited. Well done!

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious commentary on law enforcement encounters in Bangor Maine

[Margaret Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Very enjoyable!

[Beckyl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this guys writing.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny look at the human condition without undue humiliation of the perpetrators.

[Tanja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tim Cotton has a way with words that made me chuckle many times reading the humorous glimpses he provides about the daily to do in the life of a police officer. Well worth reading!

[Jennifer Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining :)

[Cincygina · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a clever writer...a witty and wonderful quick read!