You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again

by Jennie Louise Frankel, Robin .

Wild, graphic, sometimes funny, ultimately sad -- this is the book that had Hollywood hiding behind closed doors and "no comment". Four beautiful young women tell the stories of the famous, the sexy, the rich, and the sadistic.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Film, Sexuality, Biography Memoir, Sex Work

251 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 1996

Reviews

[Bunny · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh, this book could turn me into one of those people.

I would never, ever, ever say that the way someone dresses, or a situation they purposefully put themselves into makes them "deserve" whatever treatment they get. That's an asshole belief of the highest accord.

But goddamit, this book made me one of those people.

These women are so far from sympathetic that if I were to meet one of them in real life, I would punch each of them in the face. ESPECIALLY Liza.

This book was written many many moons after the fact. When they were "older" and "wiser" and realized how awful their lifestyle really was, and how pleased they were to help other women not become prostitutes.

"I looked in the mirror, at my tight hot little body. Goddamn, I am so fucking sexy and men just love me."

"I had just been invited to someone's house, all expenses paid, and found out it was because they wanted to use me for sex. GASP! What kind of girl do you think I am?! But then this guy invited me to his house, all expenses paid. Hell yes! What could possibly GO WRONG?!"

YOU FUCKING MORON. YOU MADE ME THINK YOU DESERVED THE TREATMENT YOU GOT, WHICH MAKES ME AN ASSHOLE, AND PISSES ME OFF EVEN MORE THAN YOUR BLATANT DUMBFUCKERY.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

So funny, a lot of us have the same comments in our reviews.

No this is not a well-written book.
No this is not a book that should be read by many.
However, if I'm still talking about it (as I did after concurring with a friend about not loving Shades of Gray 2 but then saying "BUT did you ever read this book, You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again?") And I thought it was amazingly shocking and spellbinding then, and still remember it now several years later.

I too read this a long time ago (Pre-Goodreads I presume since I didn't review) - and still remember so many lurid details from this total trashy gossipy amazing better-than-US/Enquirer/People tales too. I didn't remember the call girl/drugs "don't do what I did" aspect of the book as much as the celebrity tales - which there are many, and in full technicolor.

I also found my copy at a (library) used book sale for $.25.

Once my book club heard about it, we all read my copy (although it wasn't ever the month's selection... just a must-read that we all were shocked & amazed by.) If this is your sort of thang, and you can find a copy, you will most likely be unable to put it down - and will pass it on to all like-minded friends.

[Mark Desrosiers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Two of this book's authors, Robin and Liza Greer, were stars of the classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode, Angels Revenge . Liza -- who dishes the nastiest dish here -- plays the fresh-faced pigtailed teenager in that movie. As Amy noted, the anecdote about George Harrison and his ukelele is priceless.

[Annarino K · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book 15 years ago when it came out and I give it 5 stars now, because I remember so much of it, and the celebrity names mentioned. Rarely does a book make such an impression. The other reviewers are spot on with the murkiness of the cautionary tale as told from the authors' viewpoints. They seem damaged souls, but conflicted even as they tell the stories. In some ways they enjoyed some of their experiences. On the other hand, it marked the end of all my celebrity crushes, once and for all, and still makes me ponder the weird sociopathologies that develop among people who can have anything they want. Cheaters, abusers, people who have developed an insatiable appetite for endless thrills of their own imagining.

It is raunchy, and voyeuristic, and not really well written, though it's an easy read. So it also makes me wonder about the fascination on my end with the subject matter. I think of it every single time I hear an Eagles song. I think about it every time I hear about Olivia Newton-John, George Harrison, Vanna White, Lorenzo Lamas. You just think, yuk yuk yuk. . . every time you ever see a reference to any of the men, or their wives, or their ex-wives, forever after! Oddly, there was not much hoopla about the book at the time, and it's just fizzled out of the mainstream. I expected Don Henley and Glen Frey to become pariahs or file a bunch of lawsuits, but apparently either nobody believed the book, nobody cared, or nobody read it.

[Giddy Girlie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book at a thrift store and was intrigued and since I only paid 25 cents for it I didn't have a lot of expectations for it. That being said, the book was still kind of a stinker. The stories being told are sold as a cautionary tale to young women in Hollywood who let the men call the shots, and how these 4 women allowed that power to lead them into a life of drugs and prostitution.

However, the stories were full of bragging and glamour and never reached the right balance of "it was all great UNTIL this bad thing happened and boy did I learn my lesson..." Instead, it was a checklist of the celebrities that they'd slept with and spilling secrets about who liked to do what behind closed doors. They glamorized the amounts of money that they made and how they justified it - you've been giving it away for free for so long, why not get paid for it? - and it seems that if they hadn't bottomed-out and/or ended up in jail they wouldn't have ever stopped. At the end of each story, there is a customary pass-the-buck explanation about why they used drugs or sex for attention and always with a sentence with "don't be like me" but they never established themselves as any kind of role model. It was odd. Nothing that they said/wrote about would make me change my mind at all if I were considering that lifestyle. In fact, this book is a How To manual on being a call girl the right way. Which is sad, considering that its intention was to save girls from this cycle and promote the power that a woman has over her own destiny.

Plus, it was a distracting read because it didn't appear to be edited at all. The writing was all pretty clunky, which is forgivable since these are call girls not novelists, but the spelling errors and crazy layout hiccups were hard to ignore.

I'm sure some people will be interested in the 'gossip' aspect (who does what behind closed doors) but it didn't really stand out as great gossip. A lot of people like kinky (and not-so-kinky) things, and if you're incredibly wealthy, you might spend some of your fortunes on fulfilling those fantasies. That shouldn't be such a surprise, but maybe I'm just not as innocent and I should be.

[Bren fall in love with the sea. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Want some sleaze people?

Oh what a guilty pleasure THIS was! I do occasionally love me a smutty book. This is a supposedly true story of a group of Hollywood ladies and their trysts with various male celebs.

Yes..it is trashy and tawdry but fun as anything. Some of the stories..they will have you laughing..I mean..really laughing. So fun. Who knows if any of it is true? I sure indeed did enjoy reading it though.

I cannot give this more than a two because I have no way of knowing if any of it is real. It is like the Enquirer on speed. Just a few juicy morsels:

Matt Dillon is a major player

Rod Stewart does one of the tackiest things I have ever seen.

Glen Frey from the Eagles (RIP Glen) is every woman's dream lover.

My fav..George Harrison (RIP) Plays the ukulele during sex! I mean..there is some seriously decadent shit in here but it is great as an escape..especially during Coronas Virus. (I read it years ago however).

This maybe the only time I have ever recommended a book I rated a 2. Seriously though..it sure does have the shock value! No literary masterpiece just very very fun and crazy.

[Hannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

bought this book for $1 at a book sale, but i regret even doing so. this book just wasn't what i thought it was going to be...it was really about exposing men in hollywood and name-dropping (which i'm all for! expose predators), but it also exposed a lot of sex workers/ women just for the sake of doing so. the way it was written was really poorly done, and was clearly for erotic shock value. could've had so much potential in educating and destigmatizing

[Lupine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best trashy book ever. Easy. True or not it made for a fun, no brainer read. Worth reading for the Xanadu quote while referreing to Olivia Newton John's husband and I still call Gary Busey, "Scary Abusey." I did not, however, want to be caught reading it in public so I only would read it at home.

[David Peters · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you read this book you will never be able to look at a lot of celebrities the same way again. A lot of movies will be ruined for you.

It is supposed to be a cautionary tale, and I think it accomplishes that task quite well. It definitely removes all the gloss and lightheartedness that Pretty Woman tries to sell you.

And Sylvester Stallone, that is messed up man.

[Tamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's billed as 'very shocking' which, after living and working in LA, it's not. But there are some gossipy fun stories and one woman calling Warren Beatty old and fat did give me the giggles, but the sad advice at the end of each woman's story, making this a cautionary tale was very pathetic. I am a cynical old crone.

[Hargun Kaur Sachdev · Rating 2 out of 5]

The stories of these four women were obviously full of pain and broken trust and abuse and wrong choices. But it was all told in a very matter of fact way and failed to evoke much, or any emotional at all, in me other than disgust for men. Which I already have in plenty from my personal experiences.

[Kelly hayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you love gossip you will love this! I read this book while living in Jackson Hole. I was a waitress at the time and sylvester stallone came into the place where I was working. I was already really nervous to meet him and even more so after reading the chaper all about him......

[Christina Cuanalo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a page turner but these 4 women were beyond dumb. They never seemed to learn their lessons. They kept repeating the same mistakes. At times it seemed they were glorifying their lifestyle. This book is a total guilty pleasure, that's about it.

[Jennifer Romolini · Rating 4 out of 5]

you'll read this trashy and addictively voyeuristic book in about two (joy-filled) hours and be talking about it for about two years. nicholson likes to pee on people, etc.

[J.C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

the inside, perverted, not to often told story of hollywood.

[Angiebaby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Juicy, trashy read and perfect for the tub or beach.

[Tori · Rating 1 out of 5]

The namedropping gets very annoying and seems unnecessary if their purpose is supposedly to help save young girls from falling into the traps they did.

[Yuckamashe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will never forget that Jack Nicholson likes golden showers! Or how Jack Wagner was so fucking in love with himself. These hookers dish the dirt.

[Deangelis4 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a teenager and from what we've heard since, I think it's safe to say, these stories are all true. I plan to reread and update.

But I'm glad that these women talked. In my opinion, if you want discretion from escorts and prostitutes, then you should treat them better and pay them better. And if all those bad boys on Mulholland wanted people to think they were old-fashioned, midwestern boys (like Warren Beatty had the nerve to tell Barbara Walters once in an interview), then he shouldn't have been one of the biggest, high-rolling pigs in town. Sorry that word got out, but these clowns led ridiculous lives, and earned 500 million dollars and they expected some honor amongst thieves.

They wanted to get off on young girls debasing themselves and live like kings and not have the women sell their stories out. Proving that there really is nothing dumber than a man sometimes. Yes, the women were dumb for sometimes thinking they weren't being used entirely for sex. But if Jack ever thought that his sexploits weren't going to be sold by women who don't have 6 figures to spend a year on hookers and coke... well, I have no patience for that.

When you want the truth about celebs, you go to the people that worked for them, and no one worked harder than these ladies. And Stallone and Busey... well, those stories definitely pan out.

[Degrassi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book awhile ago and certainly this lifted the lid on the excesses of celebrities...sex, drugs, Hollywood, you name it. Yes it was voyeuristic but still a good read. One of the fascinating accounts was of John Ritter's 9 1/2 hour sex marathon "pure, hot, jackhammer sex" with a high class escort lady in her apartment. However, the escort lady's account doesn't exactly quite add up, because she wrote in this book that after their 9 1/2 hour sex marathon, he took her for a meal to Denny's. After dining at Denny's he then had to leave to pick up his kids from school. Then John returned to the escort's flat and engaged in 90 minutes of more sex!!! Now think about it for a moment...9 1/2 hours of sex, then a Denny's meal, then picking up his kids at school, then coming back for a further 90 minutes of sex. John and the escort lady would have had to have started their 9 1/2 hour sex marathon like 5 or 6 in the morning for the events to fit into the timeline of a day!

Unfortunately John Ritter is no longer with us to issue a right of reply.

[Liza Mcmillan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not authored by the frankles or patent or Louis lee it was done by audio . It was fabricated by the Frankle sisters and louis was there to basically pretend she was a therapist who was helping us. she wasn’t. she Actually made it worse . Johanne was the only one trying to keep it real. the publisher I won a lawsuit against for doing and saying my stories in another way to sell books. my bf died Malinda. (Linda). from a OD so did the other girl . I didn’t know her. my stories were valid took many lie detectors. it was a wicked life . and the “bunny” girl meet me I accept your offer. scary . it was not a happy place . but I’m so happy now. and deserve to be. have a wonderful daughter who knows all about my life. And loves me anyway. anyone that wants the book with me and my sisters signature I would love. I Actually helped a lot of girls in my life . and will continue to do so . I own my life not anyone else. Not ashamed at all a matter of fact what a wonderful life . Not everything is normal. And that’s okay.

[no elle · Rating 5 out of 5]

oop thats a five star book. like sure i think it might be erotica? but for whomst? all of the women speak of sensually caressing their mutant (pornographically XXX long) legs & huge knockers but then there's little salacious snippets about pissing in jack nicholson's mouth. i love that this is intro'd by a woman who says she's too smart and feminist to ever be a sex worker too lol. a wild ride from start to finish!

also it appears to be a good tool for weeding out the wheat from the chaff in that a lot of people do not have the mental fortitude to process the invaluable information this contains.....!! aka a lot of people on goodreads are really stupid. why u gonna read this goofball sex book if u think women are dumb sluts who deserve to get beaten? go fuck yourselves tbh

[Jeff · Rating 2 out of 5]

Women with no moral compass dish gossip and whine about being whores.

[Cheryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Got halfway through and....naw, I am good. Poorly written and honestly it's just not interesting.

[Bob Box · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read in 1996. Three prostitutes and one actress describe their encounters with various Hollywood celebrities.

[Theat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as good as I remember. When I finish the second one I will give a more in depth review of both, but really not worth me interrupting my first time read of The Count Of Monte Cristo.

[Crissyʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had no business reading this when I was in high school. Very sleezy book, but after 20 years, I still remember it, so it was definitely memorable.

[JW · Rating 4 out of 5]

Louche doings in Hollywood in the 1980s. A quick, fun read, but bad times for the women involved. Was this book a real scandal when it was first published?

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ick.
On second reading, the book tells of the the fallout of Heidi Fleiss, and after the new too movement this book is still icky, but kind of beside Cawthorne’s “ Sex Lives of the Hollywood Goddesses”, Scotty Bowers’ “Full Service” and the “Hollywood Babylon” books, the rumors in Ed Sander’s “the Family” all of this fits together in a really unseemly picture indeed.

[Jennifer Juniper · Rating 3 out of 5]

I believe some of these stories and have serious doubts about others.

Primarily I felt this was a book written out of spite and bitterness by a bunch of washed-up whores who can't really make a living by banging celebrities anymore so they've decided to air their sexual deviancies out of desperation.

I also get the distinct impression that some of them were in love with some of these famous men and feel the need to put them on blast since they did not requite the feelings and fulfill their ridiculous "Pretty Woman" type of fantasies. At least one woman pretty clearly indicates this is the case for her.

Pathetic even if it is entertaining. Or is it entertaining even if it is pathetic? You make the call.