A Different Kind of Boy: A Father's Memoir about Raising a Gifted Child with Autism

by Daniel Mont

A little nine-year-old boy looks down at the gymnasium floor. The room is filled with children who like and respect him, but he has no real friends. He can barely name anyone in his class, and has trouble with the simplest things - recognizing people, pretending, and knowing when people are happy or angry or sad. Much of his life has been filled with anxiety. He is out of step with the world, which to him is mostly a whirlwind that must be actively decoded and put into order. And yet he was only one of seven fourth graders in the United States to ace the National Math Olympiad. In fifth grade he finished second in a national math talent search. That boy is autistic. He is also loving, brilliant and resilient. In this book, his father writes about the joys, fears, frustration, exhilaration, and exhaustion involved in raising his son. He writes about the impact on his family, the travails of navigating the educational system, and the lessons he has learned about life, what it means to connect with other people, and how one builds a life that suits oneself. And, oh, yes, math. Lots about math.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Memoir

250 pages, Paperback

First published February 12, 2001

Reviews

[Iamshadow · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first glance, this might just look like another parental account about raising an autistic child, and you'd be fairly right. But this story also has a bit of a difference, for which it goes on my 'favourite' parental accounts' list without any debate. That difference is Daniel Mont's attitude to his son. In an early chapter, when he mentions theorised 'causes' for autism, he goes on to say:

The cause of Alex's autism is not that important to us. As a matter of fact, I feel uncomfortable even writing the phrase "Alex's autism." You cannot separate autism from Alex. It is not like an appendage. It is fundamentally a part of who he is. In that regard, it's part of what we love about him. To take away Alex's autism would be to change his essence. Of course, that's not how we felt when we originally got the diagnosis of autism - and it took some autistic adults to help us come to that understanding.

Daniel Mont joins a very small portion of parents who have written about their autistic child and have not only accepted their child's autism as being part of what makes them who they are, but have also been receptive to the words of autistic adults. Off the top of my head, I can only think of three others who have been so accepting and positive - [Valerie Paradiz], [Paul Collins] and [Debra Ginsberg] - authors who, it could be argued, all have some noticeable measure of the Broader Autism Phenotype themselves. Perhaps being fractionally on the spectrum themselves (though not nearly enough for diagnosis) makes them better able to empathise with their child's world view, and recognise it as a valid one.

Alex Mont, the subject of the book, is, for a change, not Kanner's autistic or Aspergian, but right in the middle. He's an autistic boy whose language is developed enough for short conversation, but only after quite a bit of speech therapy to reduce his echolalia and increase comprehension. He's highly intelligent, and particularly gifted in maths, though he is not stated to be a savant. His social skills are poor, and his phobias are, at times, extreme. He's a very good example of where I think most kids with autism fall on the spectrum. Though his gift with mathematics may outstrip quite a few autistic children's talents, many parents will identify with his hyperlexia (a skill many autistic children exhibit but few accounts dwell on) and his extremely literal translations of language he absorbs.

In short, it's a good, fairly standard parental account in writing style and content, but the Mont's angle of dwelling on the positive and their acceptance makes this a very readable and pleasant book. This isn't the recounting of a 'tragedy' or a boy 'saved' by therapy; this is a story of a happy, gifted boy who happens to be autistic, and the family that learned to take on board an unusual son and accept him by putting themselves in his shoes. This isn't a saccharine, airbrushed tale that lingers on the melodrama or the freakishness of autism's signs and symptoms; it's a plain-told story of a real family, and that makes it special.

[Melody Curtiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I'll admit that I first read it as a favor to Daniel while he was writing it. Having heard these stories from him over coffee, I encouraged him to continue putting his thoughts and experience in writing. I was delighted with the result. With one out of 60 kids diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, and that number rising daily, it is likely that we all need to have better understanding of the realities faced every day by children on the spectrum and the parenting/teaching skills necessary to help all children reach their full potential.

Essential reading for teachers, parents and those looking to become parents.

[Clarissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

True story, as I know Alex when he was hire for a summer as intern where I work. It was a very interesting story on many levels: how to find diagnosis from doctors when as a parent you know that something is different with your child, how to accept the differences in other persons, how each of us should be able to find a place to feel comfortable and contribute to society. I would love to know more about Alex now that he must be in mid 20s.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful inside look at how Autism affects a family and an individual. I didn't want it to end, I want to continue learning about Alex, how he copes and how his family copes in a world that just doesn't get it.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touching memoir by a former CBO economist.