In Praise of Older Women: The Amorous Recollections of András Vajda

by Stephen Vizinczey

"A cool, comic survey of the sexual education of a young Hungarian, from his first encounter, as a twelve-year-old refugee with the American forces, to his unsatisfactory liaison with a reporter's wife in Canada at the belated end of his youth, when he was twenty-three . . . elegantly erotic, with masses of that indefinable quality, style . . . this has the real stuff of immortality."—B. A. Young, Punch

"A pleasure. Vizinczey writes of women beautifully, with sympathy, tact and delight, and he writes about sex with more lucidity and grace than most writers ever acquire."—Larry McMurtry, Houston Post

"Like James Joyce, who was as far from being a writer of erotica as Dostoevsky, Vizinczey has a refreshing message to Life is not about sex, sex is about life."—John Podhoretz, Washington Times

"The gracefully written story of a young man growing up among older women . . . although some passages may well arouse the reader, this novel brims with what the courts have termed "redeeming literary merit."—Clarence Petersen, Chicago Tribune

"A funny novel about sex, or rather (which is rarer) a novel which is funny as well as touching about sex . . . elegant, exact and melodious—has style, presence and individuality."—Isabel Quigly, Sunday Telegraph

"The delicious adventures of a young Casanova who appreciates maturity while acquiring it himself. In turn naive, sophisticated, arrogant, disarming, the narrator woos his women and his tale wins the reader."—Polly Devlin, Vogue

Genres: Fiction, Classics, Erotica, Literature, Hungary, Novels, Sexuality

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1965

About the author

Hungarian author who studied under George Lukacs at the University of Budapest and graduated from the city's Academy of Theatre and Film Arts in 1956. Three of his plays were banned by the Hungarian Communist regime and in he took part in the 1956 Hungarian Revolution. After a short stay in Italy, he ended up in Canada speaking only 50 words of English, and eventually taking Canadian citizenship. He learned English writing scripts for Canada's National Film Board and the CBC. He edited Canada's short-lived literary magazine, Exchange. In 1966 he moved to London and acquired British citizenship.

His best-known works are the novels 'In Praise of Older Women' (1965) and 'An Innocent Millionaire' (1983).

Vizinczey has also written two books of literary, philosophical and political essays: 'The Rules of Chaos' (1969) and 'Truth and Lies in Literature' (1985).

Reviews

[Pakinam Mahmoud · Rating 4 out of 5]

في مديح النساء الأكبر سناً رواية للكاتب المجري ستيفن فيزينشي و قد نشرت الرواية عام ١٩٦٥ وقد تحولت إلي فيلم مرتين مرة في عام ١٩٧٨ و مرة أخري عام ١٩٩٧..

تدور أحداث الرواية حول اندرش الذي يروي علاقته الغرامية و ولعه بالنساء الاكبر منه سناً منذ أن كان طفلاً وحتي بلوغه سن الشباب...
الرواية طبعاً فيها مشاهد إيروتيكية ولكنها مكتوبة بشياكة من غير إبتذال كما إن فيها سرد لتاريخ الشعب الهنغاري الذي صمد أمام إحتلال العديد من الدول علي مدار تاريخه بجانب إنها تلقي الضوء علي الكثير من الأحداث السياسية في هنغاريا أيام الحرب العالمية الثانية وقت الاجتياح النازي و اتخاذ هنغاريا كحامية ألمانية ثم انضمامها بعد هزيمة هتلر للإتحاد السوفيتي إلي أن انتفض الشعب وقام بثورة عام ١٩٥٦ التي أدت إلي هروب بطل الرواية للعديد من البلاد ..

الرواية تعتبر ميكس لذيذ جداً بين المشاهد الجنسية و الأحداث السياسية و بنقدر نفهم منها مش بس شكل البلد سياسياً ولكن أيضاً شكل العلاقات الاجتماعية وخصوصاً العلاقات الزوجية في هذا الوقت...

الترجمة كانت جيدة وكان يوجد بعض الأخطاء الإملائية البسيطة..
السرد في الرواية مشوق جداً و الرواية مكتوبة إلي حد ما بإسلوب مبتكر و تعتبر مزيج بين الرواية والسيرة الذاتية...

الغلاف بجد بشع و لايعبر عن محتوي الرواية خالص علي عكس غلاف النسخة الانجليزية اللي كان عليه صورة لأمراة جميلة..
معرفش دة اختيار دار النشر ولا مين بالضبط بس حقيقي إختيار سئ!

في النهاية هي رواية ممتازة وكانت ممتعة جداً في قراءاتها...
شكرا لصديقي عمرو علي الترشيح😍 وشكراً لصديقي محمد مكرم علي القراءة المشتركة الجامدة جداً😍

"كيف للمرء أن يحب شخصاً آخر إن لم يحب نفسه؟"

[BookHunter M ُH َM َD · Rating 4 out of 5]

طبعا كل ما اشوف كلمة مديح ييجي علطول في بالي الفنان مديح البلبوصي

بقال أن التربية الدينية تعزز في المرء حسا بالذنب حيال الجنس. لكن منذ أسابيع صدمة الجوع و التعب تلك. أمست أنماط الاتغماس الذاتي الوحيدة التي أنفر منها هي الكره و العنف. لابد أنني تحليت يومها بمدارك الفاسق. حين يرى الإنسان كثيرا من الجثث. يفقد في الغالب كبته حيال الأجساد الحية.

في مديح الخطايا. أو كما يقال هنا كل شيء جائز و لكن الأمر لا يتعلق بالعجائز كما يصور لنا الغلاف و لكن بالنساء المتزوجات تحديدا أيا كانت أعمارهن.

أما و قد تخليت عن طموحي في أن أصبح شهيدا. رحت أحلم بالعيش للأبد.

رواية بطريقة السيرة الذاتية تبدأ بقصص إيروتيكية للبطل نسمع في الكواليس أصوات المدافع و نيران الحرب العالمية الثانية ثم يتوارى الجنس بعد منتصف الرواية لصالح بعض السياسة و التاريخ المجري ثم يختلط الأمر في النهاية لنعود مرة أخرى لبعض المغامرات الباهتة التي يبدو أنه أعلن بعدها اعتزاله.

لاحظت آنذاك و في كثير من المناسبات منذ تلك اللحظة أنك عندما تستعد للانفصال عن فتاة تصبح فجأة رقيقة. حتى ان كانت لا توليك اهتماما.

و كما يقول الشاعر الخايب على لسان خايب آخر: حب البت تسيبك. سيب البت تحبك. و أضاف الحكيم: و الواد كمان و الله 😊

يقال ان المرء يرى قبل الموت حياته كلها في لحظة. ..... مررت بهلوسة مماثلة و أنا مستلق بجانب مايا ضاغطا نفسي إليها. ليس ما قبل الموت الآن. بل ما قبل الحياة.

أكثر ما يعجبني في الأدب الايروتيكي مزجه الجنس بالحس الصوفي و ان كانت الرواية هنا ليست ايروتيكية بالكامل

اتخذت قراري عندما أخبرتك أنك تكبر بسرعة و طلبت منك الوقوف بجانبي قرب صندوق البريد.

و كما يقول الهضبة:

تحيرك تغيرك
تخليك ترجع العمر اللي فات وتعيشه تاني

ولم يكن سؤال السائل من فراغ حين قال:

هيا الستات عاوزه مننا ايه يا كابتن مدحت؟ فأجابت إحداهن: لو كنت مهتم كنت عرفت لوحدك.

و طبعا كلنا عارفين ان الاهتمام مبيتطلبش.

قالت بجدية: لكنك ستتعلم أن الحب نادرا ما يدوم و أنه من الممكن أن تحب أكثر من شخص واحد في وقت واحد.

و الله يا جماعه إن وعينا الجملة السابقة لنقشناها بماء الذهب و سلسلناها و علقناها في الرقاب و فوق الصدور و لكننا أدمنّا مدارة الحقيقة و تمويهها و دفن الرؤوس في الرمال.

إن من نحبه يتجاهلنا فقط لفشلنا في عكس قيمتنا الحقيقة. لو استطعنا أن لا نظهر سوى شخصيتنا الحقيقية. عمق مشاعرنا. من بإمكانه مقاومتنا؟ و لماذا؟

علشان كده لما بنواجه نفسنا و نكون على طبيعتنا بنقدر نقنع الآخر بحبنا و من ناحية تانيه فاحنا مش بنكون على طبيعتنا قوي الا مع اللي بنحبه و من الآخر مش بنرتاح الا لما نكون على طبيعتنا و مش بنكون على طبيعتنا الا و احنا مرتاحين. حد فاهم حاجه؟

و جلسنا نراقبها (عادة أوروبية قديمة) و هي تكافح لترتيب الحجرة

طبعا دي عادة عالميه شكلها و التيكتوك يشهد على روتين مدام إلهام في ترويق البيت و نسب المشاهده المليونية للست و هيا بتنضف الحمام و تلم الغسيل. و ده ليه؟ لإننا شعب متدين بطبعه.

أرادت أن تقبل جبيني لكني كنت أسرع منها فوجدت نفسها تقبل فمي

الحركه دي ضحكتني كتيرقوي لإني حسيت بالورطة اللي البنت حطت نفسها فيها لكن البنت هنا كنت أقوى من اللازم و مافيش حاجه فرقت معاها.

أدين بحظي السعيد إلى الزوجات العزيزات اللاتي شاركنني أفراح و أتراح حياتهن الزوجية. كانت علاقات حبنا بلا مشاكل و لا سحب كدرة. و لم يكن هناك نكد. شجار. أو إبخاس من قدر أحد. فقبل كل شيء: ما فائدة العلاقات غير الزوجية إن كانت مثل الزوجية؟

دي الزتونة. الراجل كان صادق مع نفسه من البداية

كقاعدة: الزوجات مشغولات جدا ليتعبن عشاقهن. كان بمقدوري توفير تسلية مؤقتة تقصيهن عن أمراضهن الأسرية فقط. غير أنها مجرد مسرة دون خشية دفع الثمن. كان بإمكانهن ضمي دون أن يجلبن على أنفسهن عناء غسل جواربي. و هكذا قضينا وقت فراغنا في خطايا سعيدة.

و دي الخلاصة: علاقة مريحة للطرفين لكنها في النهاية علاقة هشه هدفها المتعة الوقتية غالبا

في الحب. نرفض التمييز بين الأخلاقي و غير الأخلاقي مفضلين التمييز بين الأصيل و السطحي. إدراكنا عظيم. فلا ندين أفعالنا بل حوافزنا. نخضع و قد حررنا أنفسنا من أنماط السلوك المرعية. لمجموعة من الحوافز لتحقيق حس العار و القلق الذي عرفه أسلافنا بوسائل أكثر تعقيدا. رفضنا أخلاقياتهم الدينية لأنها وضعت الإنسان ضد غرائزه و أثقلته بعبء ذنب خطايا كانت في الواقع نتيجة القوانين الطبيعية.

في الثلث الأخير من الكتاب غلبت النزعه الفلسفية و التاريخية و بدأنا نشوف جمل أكثر عمقا زي دي و ده بيدل على ان الكاتب تقيل و لما بيحب يقول بيقول.

كيف للمرء أن يحب شخصا آخر إن لم يحب نفسه؟

الشاعر مصطفى ابراهيم بيقول:

زمان في حد علمنا في درس الدين دعاء بيقول:
يا خالق كل شئ ناقص. كمالته معاك..
يا شايل م الحاجات حته. بنترجاك..
بحق المشهد الكامل..
وإسمك اللى أنا عرفته..
تسيب اللى يكفينا..
وتكفينا بما سبته.

و أنا دايما مؤمن بإن فاقد الشيء ممكن يعطيه عادي لكن فعلا مش هاتحب حد الا إذا حبيت نفسك الأول.

كثيرا ما ندمت على عدم معرفة عشيقاتي بشكل أفضل. رغم ألمي المعتبر في منعهن من معرفتي بشكل أفضل أيضا.

هنا يمكن يكون الكاتب بيبرر لنا عدم تعمقه في رسم الشخصيات حتى شخصية بطل الروايه نفسه و الأحداث طغت ع المشهد كله بإن البطل في حياته مكانش حريص يعرف حد و لا حد يعرفه بقدر حرصه على الاستمتاع بحياته و امتاع صويحباته.

في النهاية الرواية لغتها ممتازه و موضوعها رغم انه جريء و إباحي و متجاوز للأعراف و الدين إلا انه تناوله بإسلوب غير مبتذل بل نقدر نقول راقي. و الدمج بين الحرب و الجنس و جعل كل منهما مره هو الحدث الرئيس و مرة أخرى هو الحدث القابع في لا مؤاخذة الخلفية جعل للعمل بعد اجتماعي و سياسي دون الإثقال على القارىء الذي لا يميل لوجع الدماغ أو القارىء الأخر الذي ينفر من قلة الأدب.

م الأخر التوليفه هاتعجبك و لو معجبتكش فالروايه قصيرة و تخلص في قاعدتين و هاتطلع منها كسبان أيا كان رأيك.

[Mohammed · Rating 4 out of 5]

عن الحنين بنكهة إيروتيكية، عن تشابك الاحتياجات النفسية مع متطلبات الغريزة، عن جسد المرأة كملجأ ومشفى ووطن.

نص متميز، نبرته فريدة، ناضج ويعرف هدفه جيداً.

اللوحة العامة مكونة من مشاهد متنوعة من السيرة الذاتية للشخصية الرئيسية في الكتاب، ابتداءً من طفولته حتى كهولته. يستدعي الكاتب تلك الصور ليوضح تطور الغريزة الجسدية منذ كانت شعوراً غامضاً حتى أضحت مشقة قد يعجز عن تجاوزها الجسد.

أرى أن التفاصيل الحسّية لم تكن كثيفة، يبدو لي أن ذلك لم يكن هدف الكاتب. بل أنه بالأحرى كان يناقش الجنس وما يتعلق به من عناصر إنسانية أخرى: الثقة، الحالة النفسية، التعلق العاطفي، إثبات الذات، الخذلان والتباهي. يتكشف الكاتب منذ وقت مبكر في حياته أنه يميل إلى النساء الناضجات أكثر من الفتيات، وله أسبابه. وفي هذا العرض يتفنن الكاتب بتصوير صوراً متعددة لشخصيات حواء: العابثة، المنكسرة، المتقلبة، المتطلبة والرؤوفة.

إلى جانب ما سبق، تعرج الرواية على أهوال الحرب العالمية وما نتج عنها من تشرد ونزوج وهجرة. وفي كل محطة ثمة امرأة تمثل رمزاً مختلفاً حسب اختلاف الزمان والمكان والمرحلة العمرية. ربما كانت هناك استفاضة نوعاً ما في الجزء الخاص بأثر الحرب مما أخرج النص عن سكته التي كان يسير عليها بثبات، وقد لا تكون هذه نقطة سلبية على أية حال.

[Joselito Honestly and Brilliantly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite the outstanding humor, this book saddened me. I read it too late. Had I managed to get hold of this masterpiece when I was a teenager, I would have had a more colorful and satisfactory sex life.

I won't spoil your fun of reading it by giving you the plot. But the author's dedication and a quote from Benjamin Franklin in its first chapter would give you an idea of what the book is all about. The dedication reads:

"This book is dedicated to older women
and is addressed to young men--
and the connection between the two is my proposition."

And the quote from Benjamin Franklin goes:

"In all your amours you should prefer old
women to young ones...because they have
greater knowledge of the world."

An autobiographical work, the author was a young Hungarian boy during the second world war, participated during the Hungarian Revolt (against the Soviets) in 1956, emigrated to Canada to escape communist persecution, became a professor in a Toronto university, and wrote this book after observing young Canadians falter at love and the mating game.

Well-written, often funny and occasionally profound. One of the 501 Must Read Books.

[Lisa Lieberman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just learned from the NYTimes that Stephen Vizinczey has died. He had a new book coming out last spring and found me through my review of In Praise of Older Women. We struck up a correspondence and I am sad that he is no longer among us.

I'm reposting the review in the hopes that others will discover this marvelous work.

* * * * *

Terribly clever, but not in an arch way. Vizinczey's worldliness is somehow fresh. Only at the end of the book does he begin to look at life with tired eyes, no longer quite so eager to embrace (literally and figuratively) all it offers. I especially enjoyed how the budding writer, as an adolescent, applied the lessons he learned from great nineteenth-century authors to his own seduction campaigns:

Perhaps if I hadn't been reading Anna Karenina I wouldn't have been struck by the fact that she was referring to such an intimate matter as kissing to a strange kid who came to borrow books. But as it was, I felt this small confidence must have meaning. I began to hope.

Leaving the sex aside (just for a minute, I promise), there's a story here about resilience. Visinczey's alter ego survives the loss of his father (assassinated by the Right), lives through the Second World War and endures a forced march to Austria, returning to Budapest to resume his education. Friends and relatives suffer under the Stalinist Rákosi era. One of his lovers, a musician who nearly wears him out, has an Auschwitz tattoo. In 1956 he's on the streets with his fellow students and subsequently flees Hungary before the Soviet tanks roll back in. So, yes. You only go around once in life, and you've got to grab for all the gusto you can get (and I don't mean Schlitz).

The sex is good, too. Tame by today's standards, certainly, but Vizinczey's wholehearted endorsement of physical pleasure and extramarital dalliances without guilt is such a contrast to the tormented and prurient sex scenes written by Saul Bellow or Philip Roth in the same era! At one point his alter ego pauses to comment on the war of the sexes: "I am a pacifist," he says.

[Samir Rawas Sarayji · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Praise of Older Women is a phenomenal book! I had wanted to categorize it as erotic literature, but I think that would be misleading. Although András Vajda is telling us his story – in the form of a memoir – about his sexual conquests, the book is not about the act of sex per se, but about the relationships that build up to become sexual, or about the failures that lead to neuroses such as lack of confidence. It is also the story of a boy who becomes a man in a world ravaged by war, occupation, escape, and many loves.

The childhood that András describes is riveting. At under ten years, he is a pimp, translating from Hungarian to English for the women, young or married, who leave the ghettos to service the Americans at their base (where he is staying), in return for receiving food luxuries like corned beef to take back and feed their families. It is a sad state of affairs, but then there was absolutely nothing pleasant or good about the second world war. At ten, young András discovers his knack for business, having all the cooks at the base save their used cooking fat rather than discarding it, and then hitching a ride with his gallons and selling it to the restaurant owners or families that can afford to pay for it. The young entrepreneur has started his career. But in all this, his interest and curiosity in women – especially older women – knows no bounds.

She didn’t notice me, and when she stepped out of the shower I took her by surprise, kissed her breasts and pressed myself against her wet, warm body. Touching her, I was overcome with a happy weakness, and though I wanted to look at her I had to close my eyes. It was perhaps because she couldn’t help noticing the deep impression her body made on me, that she waited a few moments before pushing me back with revulsion. ‘Get out of here,’ she hissed, covering her nipples with her hands, ‘Turn your back!’

This curiosity will eventually lead him, along with the changing circumstances – end of the war to the eventual revolution against the communist occupiers – to a new life away from Hungary. He stays in Italy for a while as a refugee and eventually is relocated and settles in Toronto. He first earns his philosophy degree in Hungary and ends up teaching as a professor in Toronto. Again, what holds constant throughout his life is his interest and curiosity in older women. Although he tried to have relations with younger women, they always ended in disaster, which fed his neurosis. So, unlike his awkward, self-doubting youth, he becomes a lover of mainly married women. He has affairs, easily falls in love – a testament to his youthfulness – and moves on when one relationship ends.

She delighted in every motion – or in just touching my bones and flesh. Maya wasn’t one of those women who depend on orgasm as their sole reward for a tiresome business: making love with her was a union, and not the inward masturbation of two strangers in the same bed.

With maturity, his introspection and appreciation change. When interest is sparked in a woman, he appreciates the details and the imperfections. But if he deems a woman ugly, he is interested in the rationale that it would be easier to bed her. A terrible perspective but true to András character. The concept of aesthetics come to the forefront often, but I suppose the reality is that if the imperfections are just as exciting for András as perfection might be to someone else, then what he deems ugly is perhaps beautiful to someone else. And if that is not the case, then he is just as stereotyped as the stereotypes.

Vizinczey writes beautiful prose that simultaneously captures the emotional resonance of András and lulls the reader into a sense of poetic eroticism:

Late one Saturday morning, I was awakened by the heat. The sun was shining into my eyes through the curved window panes and gauzy white curtains, and the temperature in the room must have been at least ninety degrees. During the night we had kicked off the blanket and the top sheet, and Paola was lying on her back with her legs drawn up, breathing without a sound. We never look so much at the mercy of our bodies, in the grip of our unconscious cells, as when we are asleep. With a loud heartbeat, I made up my mind that this time I would make or break us. Slowly I separated her limbs: a thief parting branches to steal his way into a garden. Behind the tuft of blond grass I could see her dark-pink bud, with its two long petals standing slightly apart as if they, too, felt the heat. They were particularly pretty, and I began smelling and licking them with my old avidity. Soon the petals grew softer and I could taste the sprinkles of welcome, though the body remained motionless. By then Paola must have been awake, but pretended not to be; she remained in that dreamy state in which we try to escape responsibility for whatever happens, by disclaiming both victory and defeat beforehand. It may have been ten minutes or half an hour later (time had dissolved into a smell of pine) that Paola’s belly began to contract and let up, shaking, she finally delivered us her joy, that offspring not even transient lovers can do without. When her cup ran over she drew me up by my arms and I could at last enter her with a clear conscience.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

On my first day back to reading friends’ comments on Goodreads after a hiatus of several months, I came across a reference to Stephen Vizinczey. For the months I was away, I hadn’t been able to concentrate on reading myself, but I was anxious to write again. Since my blog is about reading, however, I could only really write if I could read. The title of this book appealed to me and I would see if perhaps I could concentrate.

In Praise… is fiction in the guise of autobiography. The young male character is a little brash, but only because, it appears, he was dearly loved in his childhood. He grew up thinking that everyone would love him as much as did his relatives and the monks of his adopted Franciscan monastery. “This book is addressed to young men and dedicated to older women…” he writes in the preface. ”Modern culture—American culture—glorifies the young; on the lost continent of old Europe it was the affair of the young man and his older mistress that had the glamour of perfection.”

Right at the outset we sense the incisive mind of the writer. Rich with anecdote, Vizinczey’s descriptions of his character’s deflowering and sexual encounters with young and older women around the world are terribly amusing, and insightful into the differences between the sexes, and cultures. Relations with women in North America are painfully funny and catches males and females in our culture “in the nude,” so to speak, so clearly does he see our oddities and poke fun at our interactions.

I wish I had known of this lovely classic when I was younger, though I wonder if I would have enjoyed it so completely and without inhibition. That may be the author’s lesson when he recommends the charms of older women to young men. If I had only known when I was younger how difficult and painful it was for young men “to get any,” I like to think I would have been more accommodating and open to experimentation. But perhaps it is only these older eyes that are so generous and gentle.

[Len · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you pick up this book expecting a raucous sexual comedy, something like those old British movies such as the Confessions series, Confessions of a Window Cleaner and others starring Robin Askwith, or the Carry On series, then you will be disappointed.

There is a hard reality running through the spine of the story which quietly puts the sex and Andras Vajda's sexual tastes into a different perspective. Andras was born in the early 1930s and grew up learning the oppressiveness of the Nazis in Hungary. His father was murdered by a Nazi hit squad for the crime of daring to oppose them. As the war progressed his mother sent him to a military training college near the Austrian border, partly to escape the advancing Red Army and partly in the hope the college would keep him fed.

When the college staff heard of the surrender of the Hungarian army they ran away leaving the boys to find their way into Austria. Eventually, after suffering near starvation and seeing at first hand the results of warfare, Andras was picked up by an American patrol. The American soldiers looked after him in their barracks and it was from there, surrounded by horny young men, that his fascination for older women began as he saw the soldiers using refugees as prostitutes.

There were few girls around his own age and those there were suffered from their own PTSD. Cruelty had become the norm among the young to protect themselves. So, far from being a sexual romp with some humour mixed in, In Praise of Older Women: The Amorous Recollections of András Vajda is an account of normal youthful behaviour being blown sideways by the savagery of the adult world. Andras should have had friends, girlfriends, lovers, a fiance, perhaps a wife. He came out of Austria in 1945 and back into Hungary as a teenager who feared girls his own age and believed he was attracted to women whose sensibilities could radiate a pre-war kindness and gentleness. His own generation had temporarily turned feral in the ruins of what had been their playground.

There is more to the story than that. Andras' love affairs are described with sensitivity - there is no pornography - and he must live in a Hungary that has been turned into a communist puppet state while Russian troops and secret police patrolled the streets and spied on everyone. Until 1956 when he escaped to Italy and then on to Canada. The story stops when he is still a young man teaching at a university. One can only hope that living at peace will prevail and he will have the life he should have had all those years before.

[Ιωάννα Μπαμπέτα · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ένα βιβλίο που μιλάει για το σεξ με έναν ιδιαίτερο τρόπο. Με ειλικρίνεια χωρίς όμως να γίνεται χυδαίο. Εμένα με κέρδισε (άλλωστε είμαι ώριμη γυναίκα) και πιστεύω πως αν ένας έφηβος αποφάσιζε να το διαβάσει θα έβγαινε κερδισμένος! Αν όμως το διάβαζε ένα κορίτσι στην εφηβεία; Χμμμ... Δεν είμαι τόσο σίγουρη... Κι αυτό παραδέχομαι πως με προβλημάτισε αρκετά.

[Julian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am very ambivalent about this. On the one hand, some of the earlier sections, when the author is still somewhat awed by the whole 'sex' thing are really quite beautifully written. But then, later on, the author / narrator decides that women are there merely to be taken, and finds ridiculous the idea that a woman might not merely want to be seen as a potential conquest.

More disturbing, some of the episodes of 'seduction' read, quite frankly, like rape. I do not think that any sane person, now, can describe as 'seduction' the events near the end of the book, where a woman says 'no', our hero pushes her up against a bed, pulls her blouse off, nuzzles her breasts, pushes her onto the bed, then penetrates her. That is rape. So is the event in the final chapter, where our hero 'seduces' a woman by pushing her into the corner of a room, then putting the whole weight of his body up against her.

Naturally, the book should not be censored, but it should also not be printed without a health warning. Or, to be more exact, it should not be allowed out in public covered in dreamy, wistful reviews of how wonderful it is - all by men, I can't help but notice.

[Fonch · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ladies and gentlemen the disappointment of this month has been this book "In the arms of the mature woman", or praise to mature women. Despite the praise of Anthony Burgess https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4... the Hungarian based in Canada Vicinczey to me this book has disappointed me deeply.
Recently I had a very interesting debate with my friends on Facebook the writer Ana Peris de Elena (by the way, I recommend her wonderful novel "La senda oscura" published in the extinct Spanish publisher Kelonia), and my friend and Jewish blogger María Elena Venant, who in her blog the cat seriefila talks about television series, and other historical articles, and literary. It turns out that on account of "Shirley" by Charlotte Brontë https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... was talking about editorial issues. If you did not like a principle it was convenient to leave the book, or not. My friends argued, of course, that if a book didn't appeal to them, they abandoned it, and a similar approach has in their "Creative Writing Course" Brandon Sanderson https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... , but I held the opposite position, that you can't say you've read a book until you've finished it completely, because a book can change. They gave me the case of Umberto Eco's "Pendulo Foucault" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show..., and I argued something cruel, but realistic, that now publishers are not governed by quality criteria, but seek economic and profit criteria. That is why they will not publish the best written book, but the one that allows them to obtain more economic benefits, and therefore already consecrated authors have greater licenses, than new writers. Apart from the fact that I pointed out something else, and that is that, if a consecrated writer wanted to start from scratch, he would surely not pass the current filters. I put the case of J.K. Rowling (now canceled) https://www.goodreads.com/series/4517... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show..., who had written a novel with a pseudonym, and most of the reviews of her work were negative, but, when it was revealed, that the auora of the book was J.K. Rowling by art, and essay the negative reviews disappeared, and were replaced by glowing reviews, and this proves the scarce personality of the current mass man, and the enormous power of studies, and publishers (the subject of the masses will be discussed when the review of "The Enemy of the People" by Henrik Ibsen https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2... is written). I also commented that according to criteria many nineteenth-century writers would never have been published, according to their criteria. We were commenting on the case of Scherezade, and Sultan Schariar https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9..., and that it is not necessary to do Pushkin's https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... to write a literature that flatters the despot, and defended, that each book has its rhythm. Given this case I should have said, that a novel that starts well can have a progression, and a disastrous ending, and this is the typical case. As my paternal grandmother used to say, "I don't want to see my children with happy beginnings."
Despite the three interesting first chapters, and especially the premise that was to praise mature women, and prove that they are the best lovers in the world as demonstrated by the widow of Bath in "The Canterbury Tales" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... . It is a novel that was in the line of Mario Vargas Llosa https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1... that we remember he had an incestuous love with his uncle. When I read this book I thought it would be something like "Pantaleón y las visitadoras" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8..., or that it would be like "My uncle Oswald" by Roald Dahl https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... (which is sex with humor), or my guilty pleasure "The man who looks" by Alberto Moravia https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6... https://www.goodreads.com/author/show..., or something like "La lozana andaluza" by Father Francisco Delicado https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... (because there is nothing happier than the conversion of a woman of bad life, and write this type of literature with a moralizing purpose, and if do not believe me there they have Fanny Hill by John Cleland https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1... to prove it) where a Cordovan prostitute called Aldonza, then the Lozana found God.
I must confess that I see nothing wrong with a woman falling in love with a younger man, and having relations with him. Of course with conditions the first one is that the man is of legal age. Be eighteen years old, twenty-one, to avoid cases of pedophilia, which are not only committed in clerical environments, although secularism would have you believe it, and to avoid series like those of Telecinco manifestly immoral. In fact, I am concerned about the interest of high stays to promote pedophilia, which is being done in many countries, and there are environments such as Hollywood, the BBC, Rochdale, or the Epstein case, and I wanted to record this, because it gives me that the media are not going to inform them much about these matters. The second condition is that neither of the parties has a partner, or is married. Another matter to approve is that the man is not a gigolo, or a hunter, who seeks to extract money from the mature woman.
I must confess that I do not think the cougar phenomenon is bad, although it is very criticized today. As Agatha Christie said https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... with an enviable sense of humor (her second husband Max Mallowan https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... was an archaeologist), that with the passage of time he should find it increasingly interesting. We have the case of writers such as Raymond Chandler https://www.goodreads.com/author/show..., and J.R.R. Tolkien https://www.goodreads.com/author/show.... I don't understand the scruples of some women, who see something wrong with that. The closest thing I've ever had to a romantic relationship was with a woman older than me, and the person always felt uncomfortable with this, and she was a feminist woman, and very progressive. One thing that drove me mad is that he made fun of my inexperience, maturity, and little life experience. As you can see four years for me is nothing. I must confess, in addition, that I have always been a great admirer of the French vedette Marlene Mourreau, and I have always liked her physically, and considered me an admirer of hers.
After telling my experience with mature women, which as you can already see is not too much. I review this novel.
The first three chapters are very good, particularly the first, where he tells his childhood, and the influence of the Catholic faith on him. It is a pity, that he lost it, following more the Sartrian https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... modality, than the Camusian https://www.goodreads.com/author/show.... There was another thing, which I really liked about the beginning of this novel, and that is Hungary, which is a country, which has always interested me. I am a fan of his history, and of some Hungarian writers such as Ferenc Herczeg https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... , Molnar https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... , Sandor Marai (I am looking forward to reading him), Foldi https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... , Miklos Banffly https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... , Laszlo Passuth https://www.goodreads.com/author/show..., Lajos Zilahy https://www.goodreads.com/author/show..., or my beloved Louis de Wohl https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... of Hungarian descent. We have the memoirs of Cardinal Josef Mindszenty https://www.goodreads.com/author/show... https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2.... As you can see I was very well disposed towards this novel, but unfortunately not only healthy motivations are enough for something to be to our liking.
In the first he tells us how he grew up in a Catholic family, and how happy he was with his mother, and his aunts in a convent after the murder of his father by the Nazis. In the next chapter he tells us how he becomes a pimp, and how in the sense Sartrian loses faith. The fact that young women make fun of him makes him choose to prefer mature women (although he will try a relationship with a certain Julia) from Maya, Zucsa, a Jewish girl, Cezi, Paola the frigid (which for me is the most useful relationship, because it is the one that helps him do the thesis, thanks to which the protagonist finds his way in life), to his disheartening experience in Canada of all women who is best despite his ups and downs is with Paola (at least it helps him to do the thesis). The problem is that the novel is repetitive, and despite being an erotic novel has almost no sex, or the scenes are very poor. The truth is that after the three episodes I got very bored, and despite the anti-communism of Andras (Stephen's alter ego because the novel is partially autobiographical) the truth is that I do not share the author's amorality, nor his atheism. Not to mention how vicious I am, I don't think virginity is a misfortune, as Andras more or less defends in this novel. But an even more respectable option than promiscuity. So my grade is (1/5).

[Makis Dionis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Μακριά από τις "Γυναίκες" του Τσινάσκι μεν, αλλά δίνει την δύναμη της σαρκικής έλξης πέρα των κοινωνικών αναστολών

[Adrian Buck · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first read this as smut when I was a teenager, and was very surprised to see it again in a 'Penguin Modern Classics' cover, so I re-read it though this time as a study of Hungarian manners. I suppose it comes as no surprise that this book would be written by a Hungarian. I even have a close friend who claims that he has only had affairs with older women - it's not true, but he obviously finds the idea attractive. The fictional memoirist's, Vajda's interest in older women starts from his involvement with his widowed mother's circle of female friends. From an Anglo-Saxon perspective mothers play a disproportionate role in the affairs of people in Hungary. And tellingly, the only time Vajda cries for a woman he has left, it is for his mother, after his flight from Hungary in 1956.

What engaged me this time was the role played by the other men in the lives of these older women. For the majority of Vajda's older women there was one, but only in Anglo-Saxon Canada did he feel the need to hide his interest in their fiancées and wives. In the main part, these men had a 'best of luck to you' approach that I had some experience of here in the 1990's. At the time, I speculated that this might have some connection with Communism in a way alluded to the The Unbearable Lightness of Being. But thinking back over the Hungarian books I've read since, a relaxed approach to sexual immorality was well established here well before Communism: Gyula Krúdy made a whole ouevre out of it. But the pattern would seem to be that sexual transgression is diverting rather than dangerous. I've yet to read the Hungarian equivalent of Thomas Hardy or D. H. Lawrence. As a result there is the realisation that Vajda is some sort of sexual parasite, exploiting women whose lives and relationships have gone wrong, but not offering himself as a way of making them right. I'm just not sure that the writer sees it that way, there are observations about Hungarian history and patriotism here that seem quite sincere and serious. It's just sex that deserves this superficial, sensual approach.

Vizinczey is a fine stylist, and manages to write about sex without vulgarity. One sentence I recognised from my first reading; "Paola behaved more like a considerate hostess than a lover: she raised and twisted her body so attentively that I felt like a guest for whom so much is done that he can't help knowing that he's expected to leave soon." What effect that had on my emergent sexuality, I have no idea; but the whole story of Paola is positive, where sex seems to solve problems rather than simply provide some distraction from them. However, this book would not be on my list of classics, modern or otherwise. It simply doesn't tell me anything interesting about the human condition, though I can understand why it would be popular among those looking for an angst free attitude to sexuality - teenage boys for example!

[Darran Mclaughlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book. In Praise of Older Women is sexy without being sexist, warm and funny. It has a European sophistication and worldliness without being dry. Vizinczey has a positive attitude in spite of describing going through horrific situations like fleeing the Nazi, participating in the attempted revolution against the Soviets in 56 and becoming a refugee, leaving behind his family and friends. This should be a cult classic that young people read as eagerly as Salinger or Kerouac.

[Riyadh Hammadi · Rating 4 out of 5]

تعدد العلاقات هو الموضوع الرئيسي في رواية (في مديح النساء الأكبر سناً) لستيفن فيزينشي, وفيها يسرد أندراش علاقاته الغرامية وولعه بالنساء الأكبر منه سنا منذ أن كان طفلاً وحتى بلوغه سن الشباب. تخاطبه مايا بجدية "ستتعلم أن الحب نادراً ما يدوم وأنه من الممكن أن تحب أكثر من شخص واحد في وقت واحد". يرد عليها أندراش "تعنين أن لك صديقاً آخر؟ تجيب مايا: "عليك أن لا تقلق. فكرة أن بالإمكان حب شخص واحد هو سبب عيش معظم الناس في حيرة" 71

يزورها أندراش في شقتها فتخبره مايا أن بإمكانه العودة "لأن عند زوجها عشيقة وسيقضي الليلة عندها". يخبرها أن "من غير المفهوم أن يتركها وحيدة من أجل امرأة أخرى". ترد مايا مذعنة دون أي إشارة لمرارة: "آه لا أدري, إنها فتاة جميلة". ثم تخبره بأن زوجها يعرف عن علاقتهما. يصف أندراش زوجها "كان في غاية الأدب كلما تقابلنا وغائباً معظم الوقت لمساعدتي" (70, 71, 72)

ولمايا قريبة وصديقة اسمها كلاري تتركها بصحبة عشيقها أندراش وتذهب للتسوق, تعود مبكرة من التسوق وتجدهما في الفراش. يصف أندراش المشهد "عندما فتحت الباب علينا ويديها مليئتان بالحاجيات, قالت مبتسمة: آه, أظن من الأفضل الانضمام لكما – يبدو أنكما مستمتعان" 77

يتعرف أندراش على نوشي, امرأة متزوجة ولها ولد وبنت, تقدم نوشي أندراش إلى زوجها جوزيف على أنه مدرس من المدرسة التي تعمل فيها فيرد عليها زوجها: "لا تثيري ضحكي نوشي. لن تنجحي في ذلك أبداً" (156). والعبارة تشير إلى معرفة الزوج بعلاقة زوجته وأندراش, مثل أن علاقة زوجها بامرأة أخرى لا تخفى عليها فهو يقضي معظم وقته في الشقة المجاورة.

آن ماكدونالد امرأة أخرى في حياة أندراش, تحدثه عن زوجها قائلة: "الآن يدعي أني أجعله يشعر بأنه عجوز وغير جذاب. لذا غوى سكرتيراته. لا أحفل بذلك كثيراً, لكنه يصر على إخباري كل التفاصيل. يتملكني انطباع بأنه يتوقع أن أصفق له" 223

وعلى نحو عام يصف أندراش العلاقات أثناء الثورة الجنسية بعد الحرب العالمية الثانية قائلاً: "صحيح أني عرفت مرة امرأة ليس لديها ما يدعو للتذمر: زوج محبوب ساحر, خمسة أولاد جميلين طيبين تجد متعة في امتلاكهم والعناية بهم, وبيت نظيف مرح. رغم كل ذلك, كان لها من العشاق عدد لا يحصى" 144 - 145
وما تقوله ميتسي مخاطبة أندراش مثال على ذلك: "راقبني بعد أن أتزوج, سأنام مع كل رجل يطلب مني ذلك, ولن أكترث حتى لو كان أحدباً" 135, وهذا ما تفعله ميتسي بعد زواجها بأحد الضباط.

في ذلك الوقت تحلى الجميع بالجرأة, وكانوا يعرفون ماذا يريدون, وهذه نماذج من الحوارات تبين لنا مظاهر تلك الثورة:
- أندراش: "أتمنى لو أغتصبك"
- إلونا: لقد تغزلت بي جيداً بقولك أنك تتمنى اغتصابي. لنكن أصدقاء فقط. 86
مايا تخطاب أندراش:
- تعال وقبلني. 95
أندراش مخاطباً بوبي: سأعطيك هذه المنفضة العتيقة الجميلة إذا أصبحت عشيقتي. 112
بوبي تخاطب أندراش: "دعنا نمارسه على الطريقة الفرنسية" 115
"ألم تسمع في حياتك قانون آينشتاين؟ المتعة تتحول إلى طاقة" 115
ميتسي: "لماذا لم تحاول قط أن تضاجعني؟"
أندراش: "لم أعتقد أني أعرفك بما فيه الكفاية لفعل ذلك."
ميتسي: هذا عذر أقبح من ذنب.
أندراش: لنذهب إلى شقتي.
ما أن دلفنا عربة الأجرة حتى بدأت في تقبيلي وأخذت يدي وقادتها إلى ما تحت تنورتها. 128

ويصف أندراش واحدا من تلك المواقف التي جمعتها بامرأة قائلاً: "فتحت موظفة مكتبة في الثانية والثلاثين من عمرها لي ساقيها بعد أقل من نصف ساعة من تعارفنا في حفلة, واقترحت الزواج في غضون ساعة. ثم قدمت لي محاضرة عن مسؤولياتي كزوجها المستقبلي. كان من واجبي أن أؤمن لها الراحة في حياتي وبعد مماتي. في أقل من ساعتين كانت تلك المخلوقة مستعدة للاقتران بي ودفني. لم تكن لتتركني إلا بعد أن شرحت لها أني قادم من قبيلة تدفن فيها الأرملة مع زوجها الميت" 209 – 210

قلنا أن وجود الكثير من الأخطاء اللغوية, الإملائية والنحوية, في الكتب العربية المنشورة دليل على أن الكتاب يمر بطريق واحد هو من الكاتب إلى المطبعة. صورة المرأة العجوزة على غلاف الطبعة العربية دليل إضافي على أن الناشر العربي لا يقرأ ما يُقدم إليه من أعمال للنشر, لو أنه قرأ لاختار صورة معبرة مثلما فعلت كثير من الطبعات العالمية لنفس الرواية. ظن الناشر العربي, أو مصمم الغلاف, أن عبارة "النساء الأكبر سناً" تشير إلى النساء العجائز فاختار لوحة لامرأة عجوزة, بينما ولأن الناشر, أو مصمم الغلاف, الغربي, قرأ العمل, فقد اختار صورة معبرة عن عنوان الرواية. وهكذا فعل مصممو بوسترات الأفلام التي تأسست على الرواية.

اقتبسات

"ثمة جاذبية لا تقاوم بالنسبة لي في تعابير عري المرأة عندما تكون مرتدية كامل لباسها" 76
"الصدور الصغيرة مؤثرة مثل الكبيرة طالما لا ترتدي المرأة صدرية" 88
"ثمة نشوة خاصة في اللمسة الطفيفة للشفاه الجافة غير المستعدة" 97
"لكي يكون المرء ناجحاً مع النساء, ينبغي أن ينفر ويهرب منهن" 98

"كانت بوبي في الرابعة والثلاثين والنظر إليها متعة عظيمة, خاصة في لباس السباحة البكيني الأزرق, صدرها مدهش وأردافها تهتز لدرجة كثيراً ما شعرت برغبة في قطعها وأخذها معي إلى البيت" 110

"يقال إن الفتاة صاحبة المخيلة الخصبة قادرة على المشاركة في جماع جماعي حتى مع رجل واحد" 130
"لما كان الحب لمحة عاطفية من الخلود, لا يسع المرء سوى نصف الإيمان بأن الحب الحقيقي خالد إلى الأبد" 163
"في الحب نرفض التمييز بين الأخلاقي وغير الأخلاقي مفضلين التمييز بين الأصيل والسطحي" 164
"هل تعلمين أن واحداً من أكثر عبارات التحبب الشائعة في اللغة الهنغارية هي جسدي الحلو, لا أحد يشعر بالعار لقول ذلك. العشاق يدعون بعضهم جسدي الحلو أمام الجميع" 189

"تكون النساء محايدات مع الرجال الذين في نهاية العشرينات, خاصة إذا كان عندهم حمام لاتيني ومغرمون بالنساء وكل ما يتعلق بهن" 220
"أما وقد تخليت عن طموحي في أن أصبح شهيداً رحت أحلم بالعيش إلى الأبد" 32

"رفضنا أخلاقياتهم الدينية لأنها وضعت الإنسان ضد غرائزه, وأثقلته بعبء ذنب خطايا كانت في الواقع نتيجة القوانين الطبيعية. مع ذلك, لا زلنا نكفر عن الخلق: نعتقد أننا فاشلون عوض التنكر لاعتقادنا بإمكانية الكمال. نتعلق بأمل الحب الخالد حين ننكر حتى صلاحيته المؤقتة. التفكير (أنا ضحل), (هي أنانية), (لم يكن بوسعنا التواصل), (كان الأمر كله جسدياً فقط), أقل ألماً, من قبول الحقيقة البسيطة أن الحب إحساس عابر, وذلك لأسباب فوق طاقتنا وحتى فوق شخصياتنا. لكن من يمكنه أن يطمئن نفسه بمنطقه الشخصي؟ لا يمكن لأي حجة أن تملأ فراغ الشعور الميت – هذا المذكر بالعقم التام, عدم تقبلنا النهائي. نحن غير صادقين حتى مع الحياة" 164

"فالروس أكبر الاستعماريين هذه الأيام, وهم أكثر الحكام المكروهين في مستعمراتهم, إذ لا يكفيهم سرقة وحكم الشعوب, بل يريدون أن يكونوا محبوبين أيضاً" 165

تعليقي:
(يتحدث هنا عن الاتحاد السوفيتي في فترة ما بعد الحرب العالمية الثانية وغزوها لهنغاريا. وما زال الوصف ينطبق على روسيا اليوم وكل أشكال الاحتلال والطغيان ومنها طغيان الحكام المحليين الذين يريدون قمع الشعوب وسرقتهم ثم يريدون أن يكونوا محبوبين. العجيب أنهم محبوبون بعد كل ما اقترفوه من جرائم وفظائع في حق الشعوب!)

كان بإمكان قصيدة أن تشعل ثورة مثال على ذلك قصيدة بيتوفي "التي أشعلت شرارة الثورة ضد إمبراطور هابسبورغ في 15 مارس 1848. "قف على قدميك أيها المجري, فإما الآن أو قط" 166

قال لايوس كوسوث العام 1848, مردداً صدى مقولة راكوتسي: "يمكن لله أن يجعلني أعاني, أشرب الشوكران السام أو العيش بعيداً في المنفى. غير أن هناك شيئاً ليس بوسع الله فعله, أن يجعلني مواطناً نمساوياً" 170

[Tyler McGaughey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think maybe I was expecting something more like a literary equivalent of Francois Truffaut's The Man Who Loved Women: a chronicle of obsessive skirt-chasing that starts out breezy and frivolous, but ends up as a surprisingly poignant picture of a life spent in lust. Unfortunately, this book is nothing so deep, and it's not even really that entertaining. No book of "amorous recollections" should be as lifeless and unengaging as this one. Each one of the book's series of women are rendered in surface details only, none of them leaving any lasting impressions once you've finished reading. The author has a unique narrator/setting with which to work (a Hungarian who lives through both WWII and the '56 Revolution, before immigrating to Canada to work as a professor) but, again, the writing is too rushed and simplistic to create a portrait of Andras that has more than one dimension. I think the book actually summarizes its faults, unintentionally, better than I can: "The result was like driving in a speeding car through a beautiful landscape: I had an impression of all the exciting hills and valleys, contours and colours, but I was moving too fast to be able to take a good look."

[Bev · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's hard to believe that I now fit in Andras Vadja's definition of the "older woman" (30s and 40s).....

This is a lushly erotic book that still manages to provide several coy refusals. Just like the experiences cataloged in the amorous recollections of Andras Vadja. It is an engrossing story of a young man growing up among older women; learning to love and to make love from older women...and doing it while going through war and revolution and personal discovery. It has all the eroticism of a truly naughty book without leaving the reader (regardless of conservative background, trust me) feeling that it should only be read behind closed doors. Stephen Vizinczey writes convincingly of women and the intricacies of love and seduction. The book ends with the line: "But the adventures of a middle-aged man are another story." This novel makes me wish he had told that one as well. I gave it three and a half stars out of five on Visual Bookshelf.

[Jigar Brahmbhatt · Rating 4 out of 5]

That Vizinczey is a nuanced writer is beyond doubt. Being a European immigrant, he has brilliant command over English language and his amorous descriptions have a subtle wisdom to them. Here is a book which charts the various flings a man has had in his youth, and there was no way I'd have bothered to read it had the book restricted itself to just that. It's a sympathetic and delightful account of the sexual education of one Andras Vajda. For Andras, older women are a medium to learn not only about the bodily pleasures but about life as well. Like some scientists look for clues about life by serious observation into the space outside, Andras does so by participating with women in the most personal and intimate of spaces.

The other sex is ever so mysterious and women are presented in their various avatars, whose initial company provide self-confidence and a sort of warmheartedness to young Andras. The beauty is that Andras tells his tale with a sort of naivety and curiosity that makes you care for him from the word go. He does not want to fabricate. He doesn't bother whether he is politically correct or go by the accepted feminist codes. He just tells it the way it is, as he explores the various aspects of his own self "through" women. I want to believe that there are great truths hidden in this book, but I can't. I will return to this book someday, when I'll be maturer than I am now, when I would have spent another decade at least. I think I will notice something in this book that I have missed now. There is an undertone here that whispers to me that because pleasure and pain are inseparable, and if life is absurd, why then one must not indulge and stuff one's life with a few happy hours? One reviewer from Washington Times has summed it up thus: "Life is not about sex. Sex is about life".

Moreover, Vizinczey's was the most finely tuned, charming prose I have read in a long time.

[Lisabet Sarai · Rating 4 out of 5]

This slender pseudo-memoir has been on my shelves forever. Honestly, I have no recollection as to where I acquired it, but given the copyright date (1965) and the price scribbled in ballpoint pen on the flyleaf, I suspect a used bookstore (in some country...) was involved.

I'm pleased to see that it's still available, in several editions, because it's a delightful book--witty, self-deprecating, socially astute, politically informative and impressively erotic. I say "impressively" because despite its core subject matter (the seduction of women) there's little if any graphic sexual content. Nevertheless the author succeeds brilliantly in conveying the sexual yearning of his younger self (or his alter-ego), as well as the general complexities of desire.

The book begins during the narrator's childhood in pre-WWII Budapest. Even as a boy, Andras is surrounded by doting older women (his widowed mother's friends) and finds himself attracted to them. After a desperate adolescence as a survivor of the war (including serving as a pimp for the occupying Allied forces), he becomes a student of literature in oppressively Communist Hungary--and a student of women. The primary lesson of the memoir is clear in the dedication:

"This book is dedicated to older women and is addressed to young men--and the connection between the two is my proposition."

Wonderfully literate and deliciously sexy!

[Troy Alexander · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It's the story of Andras, a Hungarian boy born just before the outbreak of WWII, and his journey from boyhood through adolescence into adulthood and how he ended up becoming a philosophy professor in America. His journey takes the form of reminiscences of his sexual encounters (some very funny), but it's never sleazy or pornographic. The most interesting thing - for me at least - was the way the book gives you insight into what it must have been like to be a horny teenager, trying to make sense of the world, while growing up in Cold War Budapest.

[Femke · Rating 2 out of 5]

i’m only giving this two stars cause i enjoyed the writing style and respect this man for writing about his war horrors. he is a mayor pick me boy, portraying every single woman he meets in a horrible light. never seeing his own flaws, only theirs. the way he writes about women is exactly how every typical man does. “she had the most amazing round curves and a petite body. her breast we’re plump.” who cares??? literally who cares. i didn’t hate it, but i definitely didn’t like it. very weak ending as well.

[Alex · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author is so plainly a big fat misogynist and I couldn't get into it at all.

If the protagonist was an ironic character with witty stories then perhaps it would have worked but honestly the sincerity of his desperation and obsession is pretty revolting. His affairs often blur the lines of consent, or in some cases, surely breach it.

I kept on reading because it was the chosen book for my book club but I would not recommend it to anyone.

[Georg · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you like the English language, if you like sex, and if you like Hungary (no particular order here), this is your book.

[Manny]

I read a few pages once while browsing in a bookshop. Maiden aunts, stay well clear.

[Ali Alghanim · Rating 3 out of 5]

* إن من نحبه يتجاهلنا فقط لفشلنا في عكس قيمتنا الحقيقية، عمق مشاعرنا- من بإمكانه مقاومتنا و لماذا؟



* الديكتاتورية توبيخ رسمي متواصل يامرك بالتنكر لمشاعرك، أفكارك و رغباتك، بأنك عديم الشخصية عليك العيش كما يقرر الآخرون لك. تعلمك الديكتاتورية الأجنبية اليأس بشكل مضاعف، إذ لا اعتبار لك و لا لأمتك.

[Ahmed Moghazy · Rating 3 out of 5]

رواية غريبة بعض الشيء، فهي تسرد سيرة بطلها الهنغاري أندراش من خلال إستعراض تجاربه مع النساء الناضجات من بداية مراهقته حتى أواخر عشريناته، مع تعديده لأسباب تفضيلة للنساء الناضجات عن الفتيات المراهقات أو الشابات من ذات عمره، وفي نفس الوقت يستعرض أحوال بلاده في تلك الفترة المضطربة من وقت الحرب العالمية الثانية و الإجتياح النازي، ثم تحت الحكم الشيوعي بعدما إنضمت بلاده للمعسكر الشرقي إبان الحرب الباردة، وصولا للإجتياح السوفييتي الذي أدى لهجرته إلى كندا و منها إلى أمريكا في نهاية الرواية.
الرواية مكتوبة بأسلوب أدبي سلس و جذاب و الترجمة كذلك كانت جيدة و لم تفقدها رونقها، وإن كان يعيبها التركيز على مغامرات البطل و تجاربه الجنسية على حساب الإهتمام بباقي الجوانب الأخرى التاريخية و الإجتماعية لتلك الحقبة المضطربة و الحافلة بالأحداث، و إن كان يحسب للكاتب رقي أسلوبه الذي وقاه من الوقوع في فخ الإبتذال الذي يحتمله الموضوع.
خرجت منها بإنطباع وجود خواء روحي فظيع في ذلك المجتمع -وربما كان متزايدا في تلك الحقبة بالذات- تتساوى في ذلك هنغاريا الإشتراكية أو كندا الرأسمالية.

[Valeria Abarca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Una lectura interesante, de fácil narración, entretenido, con una historia de guerras de un país que poco conocemos como el de Hungría en tiempos de segunda guerra mundial y luego la ocupación rusa. El personaje principal Andrea Vajda narra en un falso relato autobiográfico en una especie de coming of age podemos acompañarlo mientras el nos narra acerca de su vida sexual a través de los años.
Corto, preciso, logra su cometido de mantenerte interesado y que termina su relato cuando él es un hombre maduro y esa es realmente otra historia, ¿cómo va a enfrentar su vida sexual cuando ahora es él el hombre maduro? tres estrellas. una muy buena historia.

[Thechicgeek · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Praise of Older Women is delightful. I thoroughly enjoyed Stephen Vizincezey's charming tale and his joy and praise for women. I found myself smiling and laughing as I read along with his adventures. This is a man I would love to meet! If you're looking for a light and fun escape from the world, open and read this classic! You won't be disappointed.

[Benjamin Karam · Rating 5 out of 5]

More than a book about women, 'In Praise of Older Women' is about war and changing landscapes, about war and the social relationships it harbors. Underneath it all, it is the story of a boy growing up amidst the company of older women. It is different from a proustian recollection but equally potent and beautiful. I regret not having read this book sooner.

Highly recommended for both sexes.

[Justin Rock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I would have found this book when I was 16. This journey of a young man discovering and exploring his sexuality is both humorous and tragic. Mostly, this book offers a glimpse into the human experience and struggles of relating to others sexually.