Why I'm Like This: True Stories

by Cynthia Kaplan

Cynthia Kaplan takes us on a hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking journey through her unique, uncensored world—her bungled romantic encounters and unsung theatrical experiences; her gadget-obsessed father, her pill-popping therapist, and her eccentric grandmothers; her fearless husband, whom she engages in an ongoing battle over which of them is the most popular person in their apartment; and, of course, her vengeful, power-hungry one-year-old son. Kaplan's voice is a lot like the one in our heads—the one that most of us are only willing to listen to late at night . . . maybe while locked in a closet. What a relief it is that someone finally admits that she is afraid of nearly everything; that she is jealous even of people whose lives are on the verge of collapse; and that she has, at times, tried to pass for a gentile.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Humor, Essays, Short Stories, Biography Memoir, Biography

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

Reviews

[Stephanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not to be harsh, but this book sounds like a bunch of random emails that I might have written, then edited, and bound into a book. I'm not a good writer. I'm sure this is someone's style to enjoy, but I actually got mad at myself for taking this book along to read instead of something more enjoyable.

[Cyndi Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved, loved, loved this book!! It was so freakin' funny! Cynthia Kaplan was able to articulate the internal dialogue you have in your head - that you would never say out loud to anyone else in fear that they would think you are nuts - in such a hysterical way! The whole time I was reading this book I was thinking to myself, "Oh my gosh! She is reading my mind!" I really enjoyed this read! I recommend it highly.

[Kari Mathias · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is terrible. I don't say that about many things, but it's true with this one.

Kaplan is a footnote in her own stories. She floats around in the midst of other people far more interesting than she is, trying to be "funny" by airing the dirty laundry of others. Some of the people she writes about can;t have possibly given her the permission to do so, and I can only imagine how they'll feel if they happen to read this.

The very first story in the book made me lose respect for the author right away. She talks about the girl with the good attitude that everybody hates, shares a story that's probably very private to that girl, and basically ends with "Oh camp, what jolly good times I had on my way to womanhood." It's like she has no empathy for the girl she tortured for years. The girl who was probably driven to do what she did because no one liked her. I think it's sick.

On a more technical note, there's absolutely no method to her writing. The stories are scrambled and distant, jumping around from place to place. It was hard to follow, and very bland (which is a bad move when trying to be a humorous essayist).

This book was just not worth the time I spent reading it.

[Pete · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was excited to read this book at first, but then the disappointment quickly set it. The stories don't go anywhere and are not funny or interesting in the slightest. It's also disturbingly thin with large print plus double-spacing to boot. It's almost like a high school creative writing assignment gone wrong that somehow got published.

[Nancy Rossman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd probably give it 3.5 because much did hit home. Her honest voice, self-effacing sense of humor, poignant recollections of grandparents (especially grandma and her purse), and the telling of many childhood traumas that only years later are funny but weren't at the time. I enjoyed the read a great deal. As others have noted, it did not hit a knee slapping funny bone but I smiled a lot and nodded agreement as if, "Yep, I've been to that concert."

Cynthia's socially mixed teen years (Christian/Jewish, usually going under the radar screen, as she described) were so accurate. Most of her Connecticut neighbors, schoolmate's parents, etc, had no idea about her ethnic background since she was blond/light brown haired and blue-eyed. ha. Touche. She was shy and a proud one and conflicted about exposing herself to others when an inappropriate remark was made. This is a small part of the book but still interesting as I can remember having never met a Jew until I went to college. Or at least, I wasn't aware of the fact ... more than likely.

This collection of essays about the big things in life (childhood, parents, coming of age, finding your mate, aging, loss ...it's all there) did tie together for me. And I thought the writing was much like Cynthia sitting down with a chilled glass of wine and just talking to me. It was personal and appreciated.

[megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny book. The first chapter hooked me......heck, the first paragraph hooked me. Excerpt: "There was always one girld at camp whom everyone hated. It had nothing to do with cliques or teams or personal dislikes, and it was not even that everyone had discussed it an a consensus had been raised based upon certain irrefutable evidence. It was just like everyone hated lima beans and the color brown..." Then, the author introduces us to the girl inparticular that everyone hated and describes her like this, "Her breasts were too large and her hair was limp. She had probably had her period since she was ten. She was a very mediocre athlete. She was nice to everyone and some people hate that. She had no friends and some people took that as a sign. She had two first names and insisted on using both. At best, she was ignored. At worst, she was teased and bullied and shoved in the lake."

[Kate Hanley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can totally see the reading line on the book proposal--"from the female David Sedaris." Funny to read a throwback to when the memoir genre was exploding. Definitely funny and well-written, although I can't call it vital reading. I was entertained, which is valuable, but I think if I didn't record it here on GoodReads, I would forget that I read it later on. (Although to be fair, with my post-menopausal pandemic brain, I forget a lot of things that I read.)

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

the book started out really strong. stories (vignettes/chapters/whatever) about her childhood and crap that happened to her. not like, abuse, but seeing a fat girl at summer camp receive head--stuff like that.
and then it degenerated into a mommy blog.

i can’t get pregnant. blah infertility. blah we’re pregnant. blah we went on vacation and my son doesn’t love the boob. blah he loves it again.
frankly, i don’t care.
interspersed with the baby crap, there were some stories about her grandma and her alzheimers. those were good.
i could have done with a lot more grandma stories or childhood stories and a lot less about pregnancy and having a kid.
the stuff that wasn’t baby related was really good though.

[Courtney · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am convinced the four and five stars for this book had to be from friends and relatives. Laugh out loud funny?? Knee slapping hilarious?? Was I reading the same book? I kept reading out of boredom but if I had anything else with me I would have ended at chapter one just based on how poorly this was written. Each chapter is basically a short story, but within those few pages she jumps around so much it is like a conversation with someone that keeps forgetting details and has to jump back and forth throughout the story as they remember the details and then piece it all back together again. That alone can be overcome with good funny topics, miss again. This was the most blah book I can remember reading in a long time.

[Mercini Lazaridis · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book incredibly boring. It is well written in the technical sense however the subject matter is not interesting at all. The only mildly interesting chapter was that of her grandmother's experience with Alzheimer's. I found myself tuning out and skimming over pages waiting for something interesting but... nothing. This woman is basically telling us stories of her life but - without meaning to be nasty - her life isn't particularly interesting. It certainly does not warrant publishing a book in my opinion. I really believe a book should be educational, or enlightening, or have a point to it or drive home some sort of meaning or have some sort of significance. This book does not fall into any of the above categories. I'm sorry i chose to spend my $9 amazon credit on this one.

[Wanda]

The USA Today review on the back cover says, "Knee-slapping hilarious!" I don't think so. While the author is eccentric and sometimes funny, she is not knee-slapping funny. In that sense, the book is overrated.

It's a collection of personal (sometimes painfully so) essays. They are well-written and seem honest. But I am not sucked into the book, dying to find out what happens next. I want to finish the book just to be able to say I've finished it, not because I find it deeply interesting.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was looking up books about bands in the library and this was somehow stuck in the midst of it, and who can resist such a title? Cynthia Kaplan is a bit older than me but I can still relate to the feelings of frustration and irritation that she presents here. I guffawed more than once to the annoyance of others on the bus, but who cares? This just might get me back into my short story groove.

[Ciara · Rating 2 out of 5]

i have written several reviews now that address my distaste for memoirs of so-called "normal" lives (which is to say, white middle-class american, no interludes of homelessness or drug abuse or anything unseemly), due to the way they don't unpack the concept that "normality" is actually pretty abnormal. this is abother book that fits into that category. the fact that i don't remember a single thing about it should illustrate the reality of its tediousness. the end.

[AJ LeBlanc · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read - at times funny and heartbreaking. I love hearing what goes on inside other people's heads, especially when you realize you're not the only crazy one out there. This is a well written glance at Kaplan's life, with quick snapshots from when she's a little girl all the way until she becomes a mom herself. I really enjoyed it.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was fun, cute, and even a little thought-provoking. The author bravely shares her natural, quirky and humorously realistic voice. The stories are nothing earth-shattering, just small observances of those moments that, on the surface are insignificant but, in truth, stay with us and make us who we are. A quick, fun read that will have you appreciating your own gloriously awkward self.

[Ann Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me be clear, this is light reading, not great literature that will live with you forever. But predictably funny and unexpectedly moving. Kaplan writes with great honesty and generosity about her own foibles and those of her nearest and dearest. The chapter about her father the gadget king could hold its own in any anthology.

[Cassi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up and couldn't put it down, finishing it in about a week (because I still have to work and socialize). Kaplan has a quick wit about her and it shows in her writing style and delivery. This a a fantastic unique read that I'll be sure to pass on to friends.

[boat_tiger · Rating 3 out of 5]

The cover compares the author to David Sadaris...I don't really see any similarities other than it being a memoir but whatever. It was a quick easy read. An amusing distraction.

[Raizel]

the chapter about the therapist was worrisome

[Lara · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was going to be a bit of a crazy week; and I knew this going into week 15. So, I took some time to find what I hoped would be a perfect book to serve as a welcome distraction to all the Have-to, Must-do, Can-you-also, and We-really-need-you-to responsibilities of the week. When I saw USA Today's "Knee-slapping hilarious." on the back of WHY I'M LIKE THIS: TRUE STORIES by Cynthia Kaplan, I was sold.

WHY I'M LIKE THIS chronicles milestone moments in Kaplan's life that have shaped her into the woman she is today: her loss of virginity and the succession of Mr. Wrongs who followed until she met her husband, the relationships she shared with her grandparents and the impact their deaths had on her, and her struggle with infertility. I felt a connection with Kaplan in the opening stories. Her love of the arts, the admiration she felt for her grandparents, and challenges with dating felt familiar. I mean, I almost felt a sisterly bond with her when I read:

"I gave the guy a second chance but it ended anyway when I came to the realization that his grammatical errors would eventually drive me out of my gourd."
A perfect match, right?

Wrong.

For whatever reason, Kaplan couldn't sustain my interest. Perhaps it had something to do with the busy week I mentioned above. The reality is, WHY I'M LIKE THIS was easier to put down than it was to pick up. I really believe that timing--just like with meeting the right guy, landing the perfect job, or even nabbing the perfect parking spot (a shout out to Tepper!)--can be crucial with how we take to the books we pick. Where we are and what's going on in our own worlds can certainly impact our impressions. But I also know that a really good book will keep you turning the pages, no matter what's going on.

So, while I liked a few passages and loved the title of these stories, at the end of the day WHY I'M LIKE THIS was just okay.

[Gerry · Rating 5 out of 5]

So this book was at the Gay Library in a bunch of gifts and I searched for any GLBT content and seeing none and seeing the stellar reviews and blurbs ("like David Sedaris... only a woman!") I brought it home to continue the short-humorous-essay kick I'm now suddenly on.

What is *Cynthia Kaplan* on? How is is that she's drilled into my brain?

How is it that me: ur-Catholic, male, gay, practically mid-westerner was speared in the heart by a Jewish, female, straight, mom from the greater New York area? How if my life is nothing like hers that my life is everything like hers?

Read it, read it, read it.

As for the blurbs:

I like David. He's funny, in a funny way. I even met him once. He signed my book.

I like Augustin. He's funny, in a cringing accident-scene way. I never met him, but I sat through his crappy movie, which should mean that he should not only sign my book, but refund my money.

But I love Cynthia. She's funny in the way that bringing your grandmother to chair aerobics at the nursing home is not a good idea kind of way. And she dresses poorly.

I would wash her dishes.

*She* is why I'm like this.

[Tracy Byrnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this book about five years ago and it is the reason I started writing again. Oh, I remember thinking, books can be insightful AND smart AND funny! Why didn't I already know this? Probably because I was a student then and thought that good writing was when old Russians told about war.

Not that it isn't, but this is better because it's so much fun. You'll remember it years after the pop quiz. One essay, about the author's grandmother, still chokes me up when I think of its last line. Another, told in the voice of a truffle pig, I swear, makes me happy to be alive in this world. I reread this book at regular intervals just to get a healthy dose of snark and brilliance, and to remind myself that this great mess we're in is so worth it. That is, if you can read.

[Dennis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was at DiBo and Tricia's place for Sunday Dinner and I was looking through Tricia's bookcase to see what she had to read and I came across this book with an interesting title (I always judge a book by it's cover and title) Why I'm Like This and I was immediately interested, especially since it was true stories (I'm sorta a memoir and essay junkie). I can't say that I picked it up right away, but I put it in my work bag, just in case I was inspired to read while on the train or while on lunch (instead of just at the gym, etc). Besides, it beat carrying around a HUGE book about Robert Moses. When I did pick up the book I immediately loved it, I was on the train one morning when I was particularly active (must have been at the gym earlier that morning). It's none stop laughs...

[Jocelynne Broderick · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really fun book, a bunch of short stories rather than a play-by-play type memoir. Several places made me actually giggle. Especially the park about a Christmas gift she got. I laughed for about 10 minutes, before even being able to calm down enough to read the next line, and then I started right up laughing again. Made my husband read that section and then he was laughing his butt off too.

The last couple chapters were a bit heavy (one of them was about religion) and I have NO CLUE what was up with the last chapter. I suspect it was some sort of obscure metaphor but if I have to think that hard to interpret the metaphor, it's not worth trying to figure it out.

[Peggy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I finished this book fifteen days ago; why can't I remember very much? I recall it was a fairly pleasant read. Scenes from the author's past. Oh yes, it's coming back to me in bits. Her grandmother's jewelry. Camp. One part of an early boyfriend chapter that seemed discordant to me with the rest of the book. Infertility. Okay. I think I remember enough to say that although I was entertained by her voice I didn't feel that I was getting a true sense of Cynthia Kaplan (despite true in the subtitle). I felt closer to those she wrote about, her grandmother, her father. As memoir it clearly doesn't have longterm staying power in my memory banks.

[Wendy Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the best book I've read in a long time!! It was not only entertaining but touching as well. Cynthia is an outstanding writer and easily captured and was able to keep my attention throughout the entire book (which is quite an accomplishment due to my short attention span lol). I, of course, love her humor but I also enjoyed the stories she wrote about her mother dying of cancer. I normally don't like sad, heart-wrenching stories but she was able to convey the stories in a fun and lighthearted way that I thoroughly enjoyed. I've already purchased her next book and look forward to starting on it soon. Buy this book, you won't regret it :)

[abigail · Rating 1 out of 5]

okay so honestly, this book was toilsome. i found it on the paperback spinny rack at the library and upon checkout, i was told, "oh it looks like this was deaccessioned. it's a free book now." i should have taken that as a sign. according to the back, usa today found the book to be "knee-slapping hilarious" but honestly i did not even find it to be smile-crackingly humorous. i relegated this book to a poop-read in the bathroom and it actually made me spend less time on the toilet (unlike other books which sometimes convince me to sit long after my bowels have been evacuated and my legs have fallen asleep).

[Shana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great memoir comprised of interesting vignettes about family, friends, self esteem and finding yourself. It's a really quick read, and the format is great because each chapter is its own short story, so if you happen to put it down for a while, you don't have to reread the last few cchapters. This is a great book for anyone looking for a humorous and touching book about the trials and tribulations of dealing with family and friends and making it through life with a positive attitude.

[Lyndsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never read memoirs--my sister ONLY reads memoirs--so I decided to give one a try. This is a collection of personal essays, some of which are good. Most are blah and some are bad (including, unfortunately, the very first two). Occasionally she is clever and funny, but the book as a whole is pretty unmemorable, except one essay about her grandmother being sent to an institution for patients with Alzeimers. That's the only one I remember; it was very good.

So, I don't recommend this, and I feel justified to stay away from memoirs!

[Paula Dembeck · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a collection of short little personal stories emerging from the author’s life. Some are funny, some are sad, some are a bit dull. There are lots of stories or parts of stories that you recognize were part of your life too, and that is where it has its charm. At first I did not like it at all, and I almost abandoned it at one point. But I have learned to stick with a book for a bit and I am glad I did with this one as it seemed to redeem itself as I continued. Or maybe I just got into her zone!
Anyway, it did turn out to be an entertaining read.