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My Body Is Distant: A Memoir
An electrifying and vulnerable memoir that invites readers into an intimate conversation about our digital and physical selves, gender, and belonging.
In My Body Is Distant, Paige Maylott writes about her life ― both virtual and IRL ― as she explores her authentic self and sexuality through dream-like virtual worlds. While Paige dances in online BDSM clubs and hurls spells on virtual battlefields, she is swept into a fairy tale romance that pushes her into discovery mode: How can she transcend her carefully curated computer universe and manifest that happiness in the real world?
As she discovers the person she is meant to be, Paige contends with a cancer diagnosis and an imploding marriage while struggling to convert an online love story into reality. When a humiliation at work provides the necessary push to transition, Paige finds the freedom to explore her new self.
Part trans woman’s coming-out story and part heartfelt romance, My Body Is Distant follows Paige from a childhood obsession with the 1980s game Zork, through a health crisis and divorce, to, ultimately, an affirmation of authenticity and self-love.
In My Body Is Distant, Paige Maylott writes about her life ― both virtual and IRL ― as she explores her authentic self and sexuality through dream-like virtual worlds. While Paige dances in online BDSM clubs and hurls spells on virtual battlefields, she is swept into a fairy tale romance that pushes her into discovery mode: How can she transcend her carefully curated computer universe and manifest that happiness in the real world?
As she discovers the person she is meant to be, Paige contends with a cancer diagnosis and an imploding marriage while struggling to convert an online love story into reality. When a humiliation at work provides the necessary push to transition, Paige finds the freedom to explore her new self.
Part trans woman’s coming-out story and part heartfelt romance, My Body Is Distant follows Paige from a childhood obsession with the 1980s game Zork, through a health crisis and divorce, to, ultimately, an affirmation of authenticity and self-love.
296 pages, Paperback
Published September 19, 2023
8 people are currently reading
354 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
May 22, 2023
My Body is Distant is a memoir about many things - medical crises, transition, a love letter to fantasy and imagination, the blurry but significant lines between our online selves and our real lives, and the author's journey to live fully not just online, but in her own skin, too. Maylott's writing is approachable, descriptive, and had me hooked; I finished the memoir in two sittings.
The author does a fantastic job of building up the tension (and, at times, even dread) as we progress through her memoir. By weaving back and forth throughout the years, she sets us up to wait for the other shoe to drop. We know she won't keep this job or this relationship, we're aware that these doctors will let her down - but when? And how?
Similarly, I felt a genuine sense of catharsis as I finished the memoir. Without giving away the finale, it neatly calls back to the beginning, while showing how much has changed for Maylott.
As a side note, I hope the author goes on to write a fantasy novel someday, honestly, because her description of the various virtual worlds (and one memorable scene with the opening of a D&D campaign) speaks to her ability to write the fantastical as well as the everyday.
Overall, I would give this memoir 4/5 stars. To those who enjoy memoirs, I'd say give this one a go. Thank you to Netgalley and ECW Press for the chance to read this book; all opinions in this review are my own.
The author does a fantastic job of building up the tension (and, at times, even dread) as we progress through her memoir. By weaving back and forth throughout the years, she sets us up to wait for the other shoe to drop. We know she won't keep this job or this relationship, we're aware that these doctors will let her down - but when? And how?
Similarly, I felt a genuine sense of catharsis as I finished the memoir. Without giving away the finale, it neatly calls back to the beginning, while showing how much has changed for Maylott.
As a side note, I hope the author goes on to write a fantasy novel someday, honestly, because her description of the various virtual worlds (and one memorable scene with the opening of a D&D campaign) speaks to her ability to write the fantastical as well as the everyday.
Overall, I would give this memoir 4/5 stars. To those who enjoy memoirs, I'd say give this one a go. Thank you to Netgalley and ECW Press for the chance to read this book; all opinions in this review are my own.
January 9, 2025
A very timely read while i recover from top surgery. i loved seeing Paige evolve into her true self and how she describes both the online and irl relationships that pushed her along her gender journey. A great example of how medical trauma/existing illness can add another complicated layer to gender affirming care and expression.
February 21, 2024
5/5–Maylott’s memoir is a labour of love and attention so distinct, so close to the bone, you feel at one with the author, as if you are a gamer and this book a marvellous, addictive game.
Delivered through playful, lyrical language, time and theme are layered with intricate ease, “flash[ing] and sparkl[ing]” like shiny lures. Topics as seemingly disparate as the ravages of cancer and inauthenticity, the saving power of true partnership, and the thrill of online BDSM join together in a melodious whole. No one part as strong without the others. Its depictions of body dysmorphia bracingly relevant for both trans and non-trans readers alike. For me, the memoir gave me space to examine my own dysmorphia. How it can undermine personal narratives while at the same time defining them.
Maylott writes with novelistic propulsion, cycling through different storylines that feel organically shuffled for maximum effect and variety, and registering shifting tones—sexy, sweet, sad—making the experience compulsively readable. And giving the reader an unprecedented journey through the alluring anonymity of digital worlds and the distant but carrying call of the Real one.
Delivered through playful, lyrical language, time and theme are layered with intricate ease, “flash[ing] and sparkl[ing]” like shiny lures. Topics as seemingly disparate as the ravages of cancer and inauthenticity, the saving power of true partnership, and the thrill of online BDSM join together in a melodious whole. No one part as strong without the others. Its depictions of body dysmorphia bracingly relevant for both trans and non-trans readers alike. For me, the memoir gave me space to examine my own dysmorphia. How it can undermine personal narratives while at the same time defining them.
Maylott writes with novelistic propulsion, cycling through different storylines that feel organically shuffled for maximum effect and variety, and registering shifting tones—sexy, sweet, sad—making the experience compulsively readable. And giving the reader an unprecedented journey through the alluring anonymity of digital worlds and the distant but carrying call of the Real one.
June 5, 2023
⚠️Tw: cancer, homophobia, transphobia ⚠️
The descriptions are absolutely insane in this book, and I feel like I'm there, sitting right next to Paul. This book begins and ends with Zork - a game that takes both Paul and Paige to world of fantasy, only for Paige to realize that she's now living her fantasy as it's become real life, and being her most true self.
Honestly, going into this book, I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did, only because of the fantasy world/aspect. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. And as someone who occasionally plays video games, as well as D&D, I understood some of the terms and jokes.
There is quite a bit of jumping around, timeline wise, but I found it incredibly easy to follow along.
I definitely cried multiple times throughout this book. Paige getting closure was one of the best, most rewarding parts of the book, in my opinion.
I will highly recommend this to all of the queer and straight people I know.
Reading Paige's story really gives insight on trans issues, passing, and surgery. It's not something that everyone goes through, and not something that people are educated on. As a person with trans friends and family, I definitely feel like I can be a better person and ally for them.
The descriptions are absolutely insane in this book, and I feel like I'm there, sitting right next to Paul. This book begins and ends with Zork - a game that takes both Paul and Paige to world of fantasy, only for Paige to realize that she's now living her fantasy as it's become real life, and being her most true self.
Honestly, going into this book, I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did, only because of the fantasy world/aspect. But I thoroughly enjoyed it. And as someone who occasionally plays video games, as well as D&D, I understood some of the terms and jokes.
There is quite a bit of jumping around, timeline wise, but I found it incredibly easy to follow along.
I definitely cried multiple times throughout this book. Paige getting closure was one of the best, most rewarding parts of the book, in my opinion.
I will highly recommend this to all of the queer and straight people I know.
Reading Paige's story really gives insight on trans issues, passing, and surgery. It's not something that everyone goes through, and not something that people are educated on. As a person with trans friends and family, I definitely feel like I can be a better person and ally for them.
August 12, 2024
3.5/5
January 11, 2025
i appreciate the honesty. BUT. there is only so much video game furry porn smut i can tolerate before i consider transphobia (/j but you know…)
May 19, 2024
This is a well-written and brave memoir about coming out as a trans person and the vital role of trying out new identities in the virtual world / the online gaming world, as well as so much insight about the relationship with her body, starting with surgery for cancer and then the decision to transition. I had the opportunity to meet the author Paige at our local gritLit festival and in fact did a writing workshop with her, and she is so warm and engaging and thoughtful and well-prepared and of course I had to read her book (plus it is on our list for my book club to read and discuss; looking forward to the discussion!). Also looking forward to reading whatever she may write next.
September 12, 2023
In My Body is Distant, Paige Maylott goes back and forth throughout her life, revealing a lot about her relationship with technology, transition, disability, and other people in her life. At face value, this book is right in my wheelhouse, but under the surface there's even more that I loved.
Not only is it a trans narrative with interweaving themes, it's very messy and queer. There was also so much about technology that I thought was really profound. And if I try to really lay out my thoughts, I will go well beyond what people want to read in an online book review. Not only is her relationship with technology somehow both incredibly niche and so quinessentially of-the-time, there is also so much about it that is *very* trans (and I say that, not only as a trans person in online spaces, but as a sociologist who has looked at other niche online spaces and the role they have played for queer and trans people).
Then, I loved a lot about the narrative itself. The non-chronological structure along with the choice to narrate online scenes just as fluidly as the Real Life scenes made the reading experience interesting certainly, but it also made the parallel scenes that much more impactful.
There is just so much I really enjoyed and I can't stop thinking about it. So, if you're into nonlinear narrative, queer books, themes around technology and self, and aren't afraid of a little furry smut, this is one to look out for.
(I received a review copy of this from the publisher to give an honest review)
Not only is it a trans narrative with interweaving themes, it's very messy and queer. There was also so much about technology that I thought was really profound. And if I try to really lay out my thoughts, I will go well beyond what people want to read in an online book review. Not only is her relationship with technology somehow both incredibly niche and so quinessentially of-the-time, there is also so much about it that is *very* trans (and I say that, not only as a trans person in online spaces, but as a sociologist who has looked at other niche online spaces and the role they have played for queer and trans people).
Then, I loved a lot about the narrative itself. The non-chronological structure along with the choice to narrate online scenes just as fluidly as the Real Life scenes made the reading experience interesting certainly, but it also made the parallel scenes that much more impactful.
There is just so much I really enjoyed and I can't stop thinking about it. So, if you're into nonlinear narrative, queer books, themes around technology and self, and aren't afraid of a little furry smut, this is one to look out for.
(I received a review copy of this from the publisher to give an honest review)
February 28, 2024
WOW! Everyone needs to read this. This is one of the best - and also most important - memoirs that I think I have ever read.
When I first finished this - a few days ago - I originally discounted my score because I was confused a lot of the time - especially at the beginning. I found myself having trouble keeping the real/fantasy characters straight and at times even knowing whether we were in the real world or in a game. But I have realised that that is my problem and not a problem of the narrative.
Structurally there are so many reasons why this title should NOT work, but it does. The way that she has organised the content serves to keep the momentum going and really serves to focus the reader on understanding her journey - through both the cancer and the transition.
I am not now and never have been a gamer. I have never played “a game.” I have never understood the appeal. I certainly never saw gaming as anything “important” - games were diversions. I certainly never saw gaming as anything that could even remotely be considered to be “life-saving.”
I get it now!... in spades! Her fantasy life saved her life - literally. This memoir has completely shifted my perspective - and that’s exactly what a really great book is supposed to do.
This is a testament to the will of the human spirit and a call to arms that no-one - not one single body - should ever have to endure such “trials” in order to simply be - in order to exist as their own true selves.
I apologise to Paige on behalf of the world we live in… and will tell everyone I know that they MUST READ THIS BOOK!
When I first finished this - a few days ago - I originally discounted my score because I was confused a lot of the time - especially at the beginning. I found myself having trouble keeping the real/fantasy characters straight and at times even knowing whether we were in the real world or in a game. But I have realised that that is my problem and not a problem of the narrative.
Structurally there are so many reasons why this title should NOT work, but it does. The way that she has organised the content serves to keep the momentum going and really serves to focus the reader on understanding her journey - through both the cancer and the transition.
I am not now and never have been a gamer. I have never played “a game.” I have never understood the appeal. I certainly never saw gaming as anything “important” - games were diversions. I certainly never saw gaming as anything that could even remotely be considered to be “life-saving.”
I get it now!... in spades! Her fantasy life saved her life - literally. This memoir has completely shifted my perspective - and that’s exactly what a really great book is supposed to do.
This is a testament to the will of the human spirit and a call to arms that no-one - not one single body - should ever have to endure such “trials” in order to simply be - in order to exist as their own true selves.
I apologise to Paige on behalf of the world we live in… and will tell everyone I know that they MUST READ THIS BOOK!
July 25, 2024
Read this for a book club and enjoyed it. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I found out it’s a memoir, it really made me feel a whole spectrum of emotions from laughter and second hand embarrassment to worry and frustration.
The virtual world escapism felt very relatable to me, I love how realistically the author describes those scenes. It felt like a game figuring out if the setting of each chapter is in Real Life or not!
Difficult task rating someone else’s memoir, so I will rate it on how much I enjoyed it. I can easily recommend this book to any of my friends.
The virtual world escapism felt very relatable to me, I love how realistically the author describes those scenes. It felt like a game figuring out if the setting of each chapter is in Real Life or not!
Difficult task rating someone else’s memoir, so I will rate it on how much I enjoyed it. I can easily recommend this book to any of my friends.
October 8, 2023
Check the content warnings before reading. Paige graciously and honestly includes them on the first page.
Paige is a fantastic writer. I really liked her voice and narration. As a gamer myself, I understood a lot of the references about gaming. This memoir also gave me a lot of insight into things I’m not familiar with. There’s a lot of vulnerability and transparency in this!
I really hope someday that Paige also writes a fiction piece. Maybe a fantasy story. She’s got the skill!
Paige is a fantastic writer. I really liked her voice and narration. As a gamer myself, I understood a lot of the references about gaming. This memoir also gave me a lot of insight into things I’m not familiar with. There’s a lot of vulnerability and transparency in this!
I really hope someday that Paige also writes a fiction piece. Maybe a fantasy story. She’s got the skill!
November 18, 2023
I don’t usually write book reviews but I wanted to write a few words about this lovely book.
I absolutely loved this memoir! It was so honest and real and raw and I couldn’t put it down.
It can’t have been easy to share pieces of her life with us, but I’m so glad she found the courage to do so. Paige hints at her hope of finding self-love one day, and I really hope she does.
This is a must-read!
I absolutely loved this memoir! It was so honest and real and raw and I couldn’t put it down.
It can’t have been easy to share pieces of her life with us, but I’m so glad she found the courage to do so. Paige hints at her hope of finding self-love one day, and I really hope she does.
This is a must-read!
August 2, 2024
Was surprised how much I connected with this due to having very little gaming experience. This book is extremely vulnerable, really beautifully written and I really identified with the escapism elements of it.
April 15, 2025
Thought-provoking and insightful. I was confronted with my own biases and given new perspectives to consider. I loved the writing style and story-telling - it was so immersive. Paige’s evolution was beautiful! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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March 26, 2025trans rights readathon reads are hitting <3
July 15, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley for an ARC of this book. Woah, this book was difficult to remember it was a memoir! It feels less like a reflective piece, but truly places you in the moment of time with a great use of description. The blurring of Paige’s virtual and IRL was fascinating. At the beginning I struggled with the timeline jumps and would find myself having to go back to remember where in time we were. But I liked the style of the narrative and this made the writing unique.
June 26, 2023
Thank you to Netgalley, the author Paige Maylott, and the publisher ECW for providing me with a free electronic ARC in exchange for an honest review.
My Body Is Distant is the story of Paige and her journey through online worlds of self-discovery. The chapters hop, skip and jump forwards and backwards through time, and detail Paige's online struggles to develop meaningful connections, and her IRL struggles of dealing with cancer, and coming to terms with her identity as a trans woman. Paige is plagued by dysphoria and transphobia and has, at times, only a tenuous support system. At times, fun and a little light-hearted, at times deeply sad, this memoir felt honest, brutally so.
It was a great read, especially during Pride Month. I am very grateful to have at least partly shared in the authors authentic experiences by reading.
My Body Is Distant is the story of Paige and her journey through online worlds of self-discovery. The chapters hop, skip and jump forwards and backwards through time, and detail Paige's online struggles to develop meaningful connections, and her IRL struggles of dealing with cancer, and coming to terms with her identity as a trans woman. Paige is plagued by dysphoria and transphobia and has, at times, only a tenuous support system. At times, fun and a little light-hearted, at times deeply sad, this memoir felt honest, brutally so.
It was a great read, especially during Pride Month. I am very grateful to have at least partly shared in the authors authentic experiences by reading.
May 27, 2023
Paige's humour and vulnerability make this memoir an engrossing page-turner from start to finish, and I would not be surprised if it become a quintessential queer read.
Read
November 2, 2025I’m having a hard time with this book as I am not finding Paige to be sympathetic or likeable. I abhor cheating and I’m currently at the part where she goes on and on about how her digital wedding is SO real and meaningful — maybe even more than a ‘real’ wedding, because so many details and real money went into it. Then immediately worries that he might not actually love her and describes herself as lonely despite having a fiancée IRL.
Additional hurdles and annoyances I’m having:
-says things are important (sitting together on a flight, medical decisions, coming out to people, crossing the boarder, breaking up with someone) but then does seemingly little to make sure there’s follow through or prepares. For the crossing the boarder I don't think it's hard to either print mapping directions or to take a screenshot of your driving directions, and she could have just said "my wife and I are poly/are experimenting".
-feels like I’m being lied to/conflicting information/misleading telling: we only hear of the first encounter with Anatole, but then they next time they/he comes up it sounds like they had many interactions even though Paige makes it seem that she rarely got out. The flight to CA, she says it’s a long flight, but the gate agent says there’s a layover and they can sit together. So if there was a second flight or even just a second part of the flight why aren’t they sitting together when the land at SFO or why isn’t there a story about that. Later it's made apparent that the fiancée did know -- at least somewhat-- about the online relationship(s) but that boundaries were still crossed by Paige. And at the end Paige ends up virtually bumping into he ex but then digitally kisses him, which from my understanding is impossible to do by accident.
- Paige’s partner Sarah sounds awful during the chapter immediately before the surgery in CA: The wine -- bad wine with no corkscrew, she sends Paige out for one but then doesn't wait for her to come back and just pushes the cork in. It seems like Sarah coerced intimacy in that hotel room, one’s partner saying 3-4 times some variation of “I’m tired” and trying to bargain ("you could just lay there") does not sound like enthusiastic consent to me, plus using language that Paige indicated was distasteful, and being clumsy in a way that hurt and almost injures Paige when the whole point of the trip is for her to have surgery
-Paige doesn’t seem considerate of others, such as when she introduces her friend to her table top game, or ‘why pay for a window seat if you’re going to sleep’ — to use the wall to sleep on, duh
-the telling jumps around, which doesn’t feel cohesive (lacks flow), makes me feel less invested (I know that the relationship with both the fiancée/wife and the furry don't work out), and makes it feel like I'm being misled
-furries
- the "flavor" text, I think that Paige is trying to convey how magical and wonderful her digital experience is with vivid description but what I'm envisioning is like the Sims game level graphics and mechanics so I frequently rolled my eyes as she gave these long, detailed scenes. Glad it was immersive for her but I feel like it's a 3D movie without the 3D glasses.
- leaves a lot out: Paige does not owe me or anyone her sexual identity, but I do wonder how did Paige go from wanting to date and have sex with men (talks about Jason's huge cock, flirting with men in an IRL club, in a digital club only wanted to be with men, was checking messages from men on dating websites) to dating Sarah. Only talks about the first meeting with the person she went to get hormones from, initially using the name Vanessa, when it seemed like there would need to be at least three sessions, presumably she kept going or I guess figured out another way to get hormones. Also how did Paige choose her name? She talks about liking V names and then the other person points out that Victoria might be shortened to Vic which some might think is short for Victor. She does say she didn't want to add on to Paul (such as Paula or Paulina) as it might just be shortened back to Paul, I forget why Lydia was dismissed, and that's all I recall about names. So I'm assuming Paige was chosen because it couldn't be shortened to a masculine name and it starts with P. There's not a lot about the divorce, there's a part where Paige talks about how the wife wanted an annulment and was attempting to sue Paige for misleading her -- I would have liked more about that. I think it would have been interesting for Paige to explore how honest she was with her wife, I understand that Paige didn't intend to mislead her wife in that she didn't realize things about herself but there was a lot that was being hidden, lies by omission, and boundary crossing.
I'm leaving this unrated as I feel bad giving this a low star rating (probably a 2). I understand huge amounts of effort went into this memoir, and I probably should not have picked it up, the synopsis said "online BDSM clubs" but it does not mention furries and there's a lot of it. Also I'm worried that if I give this a low star rating it'll mess with the algorithm.
Additional hurdles and annoyances I’m having:
-says things are important (sitting together on a flight, medical decisions, coming out to people, crossing the boarder, breaking up with someone) but then does seemingly little to make sure there’s follow through or prepares. For the crossing the boarder I don't think it's hard to either print mapping directions or to take a screenshot of your driving directions, and she could have just said "my wife and I are poly/are experimenting".
-feels like I’m being lied to/conflicting information/misleading telling: we only hear of the first encounter with Anatole, but then they next time they/he comes up it sounds like they had many interactions even though Paige makes it seem that she rarely got out. The flight to CA, she says it’s a long flight, but the gate agent says there’s a layover and they can sit together. So if there was a second flight or even just a second part of the flight why aren’t they sitting together when the land at SFO or why isn’t there a story about that. Later it's made apparent that the fiancée did know -- at least somewhat-- about the online relationship(s) but that boundaries were still crossed by Paige. And at the end Paige ends up virtually bumping into he ex but then digitally kisses him, which from my understanding is impossible to do by accident.
- Paige’s partner Sarah sounds awful during the chapter immediately before the surgery in CA: The wine -- bad wine with no corkscrew, she sends Paige out for one but then doesn't wait for her to come back and just pushes the cork in. It seems like Sarah coerced intimacy in that hotel room, one’s partner saying 3-4 times some variation of “I’m tired” and trying to bargain ("you could just lay there") does not sound like enthusiastic consent to me, plus using language that Paige indicated was distasteful, and being clumsy in a way that hurt and almost injures Paige when the whole point of the trip is for her to have surgery
-Paige doesn’t seem considerate of others, such as when she introduces her friend to her table top game, or ‘why pay for a window seat if you’re going to sleep’ — to use the wall to sleep on, duh
-the telling jumps around, which doesn’t feel cohesive (lacks flow), makes me feel less invested (I know that the relationship with both the fiancée/wife and the furry don't work out), and makes it feel like I'm being misled
-furries
- the "flavor" text, I think that Paige is trying to convey how magical and wonderful her digital experience is with vivid description but what I'm envisioning is like the Sims game level graphics and mechanics so I frequently rolled my eyes as she gave these long, detailed scenes. Glad it was immersive for her but I feel like it's a 3D movie without the 3D glasses.
- leaves a lot out: Paige does not owe me or anyone her sexual identity, but I do wonder how did Paige go from wanting to date and have sex with men (talks about Jason's huge cock, flirting with men in an IRL club, in a digital club only wanted to be with men, was checking messages from men on dating websites) to dating Sarah. Only talks about the first meeting with the person she went to get hormones from, initially using the name Vanessa, when it seemed like there would need to be at least three sessions, presumably she kept going or I guess figured out another way to get hormones. Also how did Paige choose her name? She talks about liking V names and then the other person points out that Victoria might be shortened to Vic which some might think is short for Victor. She does say she didn't want to add on to Paul (such as Paula or Paulina) as it might just be shortened back to Paul, I forget why Lydia was dismissed, and that's all I recall about names. So I'm assuming Paige was chosen because it couldn't be shortened to a masculine name and it starts with P. There's not a lot about the divorce, there's a part where Paige talks about how the wife wanted an annulment and was attempting to sue Paige for misleading her -- I would have liked more about that. I think it would have been interesting for Paige to explore how honest she was with her wife, I understand that Paige didn't intend to mislead her wife in that she didn't realize things about herself but there was a lot that was being hidden, lies by omission, and boundary crossing.
I'm leaving this unrated as I feel bad giving this a low star rating (probably a 2). I understand huge amounts of effort went into this memoir, and I probably should not have picked it up, the synopsis said "online BDSM clubs" but it does not mention furries and there's a lot of it. Also I'm worried that if I give this a low star rating it'll mess with the algorithm.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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March 6, 2024MY BODY IS DISTANT, is a fascinating story about one person’s sexual transition. It is filled with much emotion and insight, relating to one’s place in the world, and attaining self-contentment. The author looks at the real world and the online world, and how the two may seem fragmented, but are also interrelated. Sometimes both may seem like blurring the lines, but there are so many connections, and complications being part of both.
Paige Maylott weaves back and forth, detailing how each segment of her life gave her a new view and perspective, dealing with one concern after another. The video world like reality, has issues where you must gently navigate all the twists and turns.
We meet someone who is struggling through the uncertainty of life, dealing with cancer treatments, which were perhaps the most frightening part of it, as when one hears the “C” word, no one knows how the game may play. Paige also contended with other aspects of life, including a divorce, and dealing with a world that often judged without knowing all the facts. The marriage was to Karen, and during that time, Paige realized that her feminine side was most dominant, craving to transition and embrace that gender.
We read about border crossings, and how border agents caused Paige to offer explanations that were uncomfortable, others not understanding completely. It happened more than once, another time, when Paige crossed into the United States, brought inside Customs’ offices and asked to explain about the person she was visiting. It must have felt like someone on trial.
Paige writes also with humour about certain experiences, all the time focusing on the hurdles she has crossed and the looks and attitudes she faced.
The online world and real world of course are different, but having navigated both with confidence and courage, gives Paige Maylott insight into her own wants and needs, also providing a leg-up on the realization precisely what it takes to be happy in their own skin.
Paige Maylott weaves back and forth, detailing how each segment of her life gave her a new view and perspective, dealing with one concern after another. The video world like reality, has issues where you must gently navigate all the twists and turns.
We meet someone who is struggling through the uncertainty of life, dealing with cancer treatments, which were perhaps the most frightening part of it, as when one hears the “C” word, no one knows how the game may play. Paige also contended with other aspects of life, including a divorce, and dealing with a world that often judged without knowing all the facts. The marriage was to Karen, and during that time, Paige realized that her feminine side was most dominant, craving to transition and embrace that gender.
We read about border crossings, and how border agents caused Paige to offer explanations that were uncomfortable, others not understanding completely. It happened more than once, another time, when Paige crossed into the United States, brought inside Customs’ offices and asked to explain about the person she was visiting. It must have felt like someone on trial.
Paige writes also with humour about certain experiences, all the time focusing on the hurdles she has crossed and the looks and attitudes she faced.
The online world and real world of course are different, but having navigated both with confidence and courage, gives Paige Maylott insight into her own wants and needs, also providing a leg-up on the realization precisely what it takes to be happy in their own skin.
January 9, 2024
From beginning to end, this is a book filled with the most relatable things a trans girl can think. For me personally, it was a reminder that I’m not the only one in this awful transphobic world. A reminder that someone out there thinks the same things I think whenever a group of jocky boys pass me by, or when I talk to people who couldn’t possibly imagine the things I go through as a trans girl— they just dont get it!
Along with the Real Life issues, the author also spends half of her memoir explaining her relationship with the virtual world in a way that I personally understand a lot. The way she describes the escapist reality that all of us gamers experience in the digital world through the eyes of a woman that was born in the wrong body touches my heart and makes me reflect on all of the hours I spent using the female character in Pokémon and using female playermodels in Garry’s Mod. It really is exactly as she describes.
Paige Maylott is a wonderful writer. Her book is so descriptive that at times I can even feel myself in her body; dealing with the crippling anxiety of being judged by other people, dreading the possibility that you may or may not wake up from surgery, the heartbreak from disappointing relationships and severed ties, the euphoria of looking in the mirror and seeing yourself as authentically you. And on top of that, the way this book is written lifts the anticipation levels while reading to the MAX. She makes it so that every time a chapter ends it leaves you absolutely starving for more.
If you are a transfemme reader who likes computer games, has dealt with surgery or sickness, and/or has gone through bad relationships online, this is a MUST READ.
Along with the Real Life issues, the author also spends half of her memoir explaining her relationship with the virtual world in a way that I personally understand a lot. The way she describes the escapist reality that all of us gamers experience in the digital world through the eyes of a woman that was born in the wrong body touches my heart and makes me reflect on all of the hours I spent using the female character in Pokémon and using female playermodels in Garry’s Mod. It really is exactly as she describes.
Paige Maylott is a wonderful writer. Her book is so descriptive that at times I can even feel myself in her body; dealing with the crippling anxiety of being judged by other people, dreading the possibility that you may or may not wake up from surgery, the heartbreak from disappointing relationships and severed ties, the euphoria of looking in the mirror and seeing yourself as authentically you. And on top of that, the way this book is written lifts the anticipation levels while reading to the MAX. She makes it so that every time a chapter ends it leaves you absolutely starving for more.
If you are a transfemme reader who likes computer games, has dealt with surgery or sickness, and/or has gone through bad relationships online, this is a MUST READ.
September 29, 2023
Although this book is outside my preferred reading genres, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Her writing voice is so engaging and funny and the work so honest and brave that I was immediately drawn in and finished the book in two sittings.
I would recommend this to anyone wanting to better understand how a trans person could find their truth in discovering they are trans. Actually it's so relatable the lesson and the honesty could be applied to anyone struggling with the truth of who they are when that truth is not in line with societal norms.
Being from the same era and background the nostalgia was one of the more entertaining parts for me, games and goths, jocks and freaks. Some of the conversations from this time brought back some of my own memories. I felt like I knew the people she spoke with.
The parts outside of my own experiences are written with such vulnerability and such self reflective honesty that nothing is actually "weird" or "different". There is just her. And she is just like every one of us if you're really being honest with yourself.
This is a very well written book and it's going to be a very important read for a lot of people.
I would recommend this to anyone wanting to better understand how a trans person could find their truth in discovering they are trans. Actually it's so relatable the lesson and the honesty could be applied to anyone struggling with the truth of who they are when that truth is not in line with societal norms.
Being from the same era and background the nostalgia was one of the more entertaining parts for me, games and goths, jocks and freaks. Some of the conversations from this time brought back some of my own memories. I felt like I knew the people she spoke with.
The parts outside of my own experiences are written with such vulnerability and such self reflective honesty that nothing is actually "weird" or "different". There is just her. And she is just like every one of us if you're really being honest with yourself.
This is a very well written book and it's going to be a very important read for a lot of people.
June 30, 2024
My Body is Distant is a brave and beautiful memoir, a journey to find one's true self while simultaneously trying to love one’s self.
Brave, bold, and beautiful, Paige takes us through time in a non-linear style from childhood to adulthood and through her online and offline lives which are tied together but battle to be separate.
Paige is a beautiful writer, the descriptions of online worlds, her feelings, and her passion for life are on every single page of this book. She’s open and vulnerable, raw and real. At some points, I had to remind myself that this was a memoir about her life, the writing almost reads like fiction.
Be sure to check the content warning, there are some heavy topics in this memoir but it was an enjoyable read even with the heavy content. It was a memoir destined to be written.
I can’t wait to see what Paige does next!
I received an e-arc in exchange for an honest review and I’d like to thank NetGalley, ECW Press, and Paige Maylott for the e-arc. Full disclosure, I also purchased a copy.
Brave, bold, and beautiful, Paige takes us through time in a non-linear style from childhood to adulthood and through her online and offline lives which are tied together but battle to be separate.
Paige is a beautiful writer, the descriptions of online worlds, her feelings, and her passion for life are on every single page of this book. She’s open and vulnerable, raw and real. At some points, I had to remind myself that this was a memoir about her life, the writing almost reads like fiction.
Be sure to check the content warning, there are some heavy topics in this memoir but it was an enjoyable read even with the heavy content. It was a memoir destined to be written.
I can’t wait to see what Paige does next!
I received an e-arc in exchange for an honest review and I’d like to thank NetGalley, ECW Press, and Paige Maylott for the e-arc. Full disclosure, I also purchased a copy.
September 19, 2023
What a read! Beautifully written. For those of us goths and gamers, her story brings back some serious nostalgia. As I read the passages about the clubs, I was right there, back at those places with sensory memories of music, smells and tastes...dancing to the point of exhaustion. Gamers and technophiles will appreciate many references. I related to how women's "armour" in games is futile, something that still holds true today. Paige's times of pain were somewhat relatable as anyone dealing with health issues can empathize with, especially when it comes to compromising positions with doctors. Her descriptions of her internal dialogue and the many situations where her identity was explored was well done, especially how those identities were expressed within the liminal spaces of online worlds. Read this memoir if you want to feel all the feels.
July 9, 2024
This is a fantastic memoir. I read it all in one sitting because I couldn't put it down. Paige Maylott effortlessly weaves her story back and forth through a lifetime of experiences both in the physical world and the digital. Her writing is incredibly relatable to any trans girl in the ways that she explores her identity and the relationship with her body. Any one of her experiences will feel familiar. Additionally she crafts a blunt and honest depiction of her cancer diagnoses, tying it beautifully to the themes of struggling in one's own body.
The book is a fabulous read, equally funny and tragic, with an amazing voice to guide you along.
The book is a fabulous read, equally funny and tragic, with an amazing voice to guide you along.
December 12, 2024
The way change is handled in this memoir is relatable- even if the life experiences are not. In particular I found aspects of loneliness through change relatable. The view of someone recovering from a major health condition and several fairly severe surgeries was one I felt very glad to get. The pacing of the memories jolt back and forth in time and I wish it had been slightly more chronological. It does feel like Paige is flipping through an old photo album and telling you the story around the photograph, which I find is a solid way to write a memoir. It is just engaging enough for readers who are more used to fiction than nonfiction.
October 1, 2023
My Body Is Distant has been on my most anticipated list of books for so long and I'm so happy it's finally out! Maylott explores the themes of bodies and transness in a genius way through avatars in digital worlds, the changes that happened to her body after a cancer diagnosis, and her preparation for GRS. It's brilliant and unforgettable, you need to read this book!
Read the full review on my blog!
Read the full review on my blog!
October 16, 2023
While I took longer to read this one since the content was very heavy, this was a really good read! I picked this one up as the author is actually from Hamilton and spoke at the library near me. Hearing about the trans/queer scene in my city over the years was so cool and the way Paige describes her journey into confidence was so inspiring. As well, my partner is very similar to Paige so reading this was able to give me more insight into the transfeminine experience (as a trans man myself).
November 10, 2024
Something I'm really appreciating about listening to and reading trans stories is their willingness to be open about the heavier side of transitioning. It's never an easy experience and going through my own transition it's been incredibly important to me to hear such openness about their own mistakes. I really loved this! I'm not very good at talking about books critically like I can with film but this had helped me a lot right now. I've really needed this.
September 30, 2023
I could not put this book down!! Gorgeous prose, vivid descriptions, gripping and emotive storytelling. At times funny, sexy, heartbreaking, and thoughtful, this memoir made me want to live as my most authentic self, be vulnerable with my friends and family, and play Dungeons & Dragons.
Totally loved Mathblasters as a kid by the way, I was the nerd lol
Totally loved Mathblasters as a kid by the way, I was the nerd lol
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