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Divorced [Not Dead]
We’re going to need a bigger drink…
Meet Frankie - fifty, divorced and getting back on the horse.
After leaving Twatface – her husband of twenty years – she's starting again from scratch. And when her son also flees the nest for university, Frankie decides it’s time to throw herself back into the dating game with a vengeance.
On best friend Bel's recommendation, Frankie signs up to two dating one for love, another for casual hook-ups (because why the f**k not?!). However, as she navigates this new frontier of catfishing, kittenfishing, ghosts, GILFs and everything in between, she realises the whole dating thing has changed quite a bit – and it really is a bloody jungle out there…
Will Frankie find love on the apps? Or the perfect shag? Or – if there’s any justice in the world – both?
Meet Frankie - fifty, divorced and getting back on the horse.
After leaving Twatface – her husband of twenty years – she's starting again from scratch. And when her son also flees the nest for university, Frankie decides it’s time to throw herself back into the dating game with a vengeance.
On best friend Bel's recommendation, Frankie signs up to two dating one for love, another for casual hook-ups (because why the f**k not?!). However, as she navigates this new frontier of catfishing, kittenfishing, ghosts, GILFs and everything in between, she realises the whole dating thing has changed quite a bit – and it really is a bloody jungle out there…
Will Frankie find love on the apps? Or the perfect shag? Or – if there’s any justice in the world – both?
384 pages, Paperback
First published September 28, 2023
279 people are currently reading
783 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 179 reviews
September 18, 2023
If anyone was going to resonate with Frankie it was me. Being 50, divorced and also pretty sure we were married to the same Twatface. I just need a friend with a pot smoking shed ha ha.
This hooked me straight away with its dry and sarky humour (my favourite) and kept me with its feminist slant on how women are judged so very differently for putting themselves out there. Stop the slut shaming and embrace the slut faming, what’s good for the goose and all that!
I will warn any potential readers that this is heavy on the curse words including the dreaded ‘c’. Not a book I can recommend to my mum that’s for sure. But this little potty mouth was fine with it and some of the men certainly deserved that title.
This is full to the brim with delightful characters, especially the hotbed of quilters who all had varying sex lives and were more than happy to share their thoughts on poor Frankie’s.
It also opens your eyes to the pitfalls of online dating and does it with seriousness but also humour. A very funny and charming book that hallelujah had an older woman as the main character, not all readers are a twenty something. The only niggle I have and this is probably me projecting is that I wanted a different ending.
This hooked me straight away with its dry and sarky humour (my favourite) and kept me with its feminist slant on how women are judged so very differently for putting themselves out there. Stop the slut shaming and embrace the slut faming, what’s good for the goose and all that!
I will warn any potential readers that this is heavy on the curse words including the dreaded ‘c’. Not a book I can recommend to my mum that’s for sure. But this little potty mouth was fine with it and some of the men certainly deserved that title.
This is full to the brim with delightful characters, especially the hotbed of quilters who all had varying sex lives and were more than happy to share their thoughts on poor Frankie’s.
It also opens your eyes to the pitfalls of online dating and does it with seriousness but also humour. A very funny and charming book that hallelujah had an older woman as the main character, not all readers are a twenty something. The only niggle I have and this is probably me projecting is that I wanted a different ending.
September 23, 2024
What a hoot of a book! I rarely venture into this style of book but I am so glad I did. This is pure escapism. If you like books with plenty of wit and laughs mixed with feel-good moments and a touch of romance that’s far from slushy this is for you. A very enjoyable read indeed.
Frankie is down on her luck and not giving a f*uck states the cover which sums this up so well. Frankie is 50 something and has escaped her miserable coercive controlling husband of two decades that she accurately calls Twatface which is how he pops up on her phone also. She’s been left with nothing from her divorce that’s good but is determined to not curl up in a corner and become a total hermit. Her son lives away from home and I loved this very honest and real relationship.
She opens a small quilting shop which leads to the entrance of a bunch of awesome people in a new little quilting group she kicks off. This book gave me so many laugh out loud moments but if you are prudish at all this ain’t for you. This is not a book that holds back on the realities of shitt* relationships and the perils of internet dating.
Her friend encourages her to go in some dating apps and the book gives you a hilarious education via Frankie into catfishing (she gives back to these catfish in the most brilliant of ways), benching, bread-crumbing, sexting, beige men and kinky fetishes of others (mind-boggling for Frankie). After a sexless marriage she decides a few dalliances with younger guys, no strings attached could be fun. She also quickly realises a lot of men are bigger twats than Twatface himself. As confidence grows and she embraces all of herself she gets bolder and braver but also learns it can come with a lot of pitfalls.
It’s very open and honest about sex, dating and all manners of sexual preferences. It’s not all about that though. Frankie makes new friendships and when the man who makes her flutter (in a few areas) enters her shop it’s game on for Frankie. But nothing is smooth sailing, this is no smooshy fluffy love story. In fact it’s darn realistic as to the good the bad and the ugly. The mixed dynamics between them is brilliant.
She becomes confident and gutsy and gives what-for to so many of these blokes who lie and cheat and treat women badly. It’s really funny in so many moments. If you cringe at sex talk, blunt speech and the rights of women to embrace enjoying sex for the fun of it then you may be offended. But not me. I loved this.,I loved watching her develop into a bold woman despite a world of pitfalls on the way. Ugly nude photos sent from men on apps can put you off your dinner!
Will she get the man who gives her flutters? Will he do his best to give her extra flutters? You’ll have to read it. I love that the Author includes a glossary of commonly used terminology around internet dating, online slang and definitions of sexual preferences like Asexuality and Pansexuality. These come up through her connections and experiences in her journey.
It’s very in your face and I loved that. A brave novel, very funny and a book I think anybody who has entered the terrifying world of internet dating sites will relate to. A really great book to lose yourself into and have a good giggle with Frankie and her exploits. A solid 4 stars!
A huge thanks for my ARC from Avon Books UK via NetGalley.
::~~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~~::
Thanks so much for reading my review!
I hope you enjoyed it, if you did I’d be delighted if you leave me a “like” and I love to read your comments. If you’d like to connect you can follow me or please send me a friend request.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
Frankie is down on her luck and not giving a f*uck states the cover which sums this up so well. Frankie is 50 something and has escaped her miserable coercive controlling husband of two decades that she accurately calls Twatface which is how he pops up on her phone also. She’s been left with nothing from her divorce that’s good but is determined to not curl up in a corner and become a total hermit. Her son lives away from home and I loved this very honest and real relationship.
She opens a small quilting shop which leads to the entrance of a bunch of awesome people in a new little quilting group she kicks off. This book gave me so many laugh out loud moments but if you are prudish at all this ain’t for you. This is not a book that holds back on the realities of shitt* relationships and the perils of internet dating.
Her friend encourages her to go in some dating apps and the book gives you a hilarious education via Frankie into catfishing (she gives back to these catfish in the most brilliant of ways), benching, bread-crumbing, sexting, beige men and kinky fetishes of others (mind-boggling for Frankie). After a sexless marriage she decides a few dalliances with younger guys, no strings attached could be fun. She also quickly realises a lot of men are bigger twats than Twatface himself. As confidence grows and she embraces all of herself she gets bolder and braver but also learns it can come with a lot of pitfalls.
It’s very open and honest about sex, dating and all manners of sexual preferences. It’s not all about that though. Frankie makes new friendships and when the man who makes her flutter (in a few areas) enters her shop it’s game on for Frankie. But nothing is smooth sailing, this is no smooshy fluffy love story. In fact it’s darn realistic as to the good the bad and the ugly. The mixed dynamics between them is brilliant.
She becomes confident and gutsy and gives what-for to so many of these blokes who lie and cheat and treat women badly. It’s really funny in so many moments. If you cringe at sex talk, blunt speech and the rights of women to embrace enjoying sex for the fun of it then you may be offended. But not me. I loved this.,I loved watching her develop into a bold woman despite a world of pitfalls on the way. Ugly nude photos sent from men on apps can put you off your dinner!
Will she get the man who gives her flutters? Will he do his best to give her extra flutters? You’ll have to read it. I love that the Author includes a glossary of commonly used terminology around internet dating, online slang and definitions of sexual preferences like Asexuality and Pansexuality. These come up through her connections and experiences in her journey.
It’s very in your face and I loved that. A brave novel, very funny and a book I think anybody who has entered the terrifying world of internet dating sites will relate to. A really great book to lose yourself into and have a good giggle with Frankie and her exploits. A solid 4 stars!
A huge thanks for my ARC from Avon Books UK via NetGalley.
::~~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~:::::~~~~~~::
Thanks so much for reading my review!
I hope you enjoyed it, if you did I’d be delighted if you leave me a “like” and I love to read your comments. If you’d like to connect you can follow me or please send me a friend request.
If you are an Author or Publisher and you’d like me to consider reading and reviewing your book(s) please just message me.
October 14, 2023
Decorum (and maybe copyright law) prevents me from reprinting the opening line of Divorced, Not Dead. But after I nearly spit my coffee across the Avenue U Dunkin Donuts, I decided it’s the “Call me Ishmael” of dirty rom-coms. It’s a nearly perfect foreshadowing of what’s to come, even if I was mildly grossed out with her suggestion of uses for a medium-sized cactus plant.
Frances “Frankie” Brumby has finally crawled her way out of a loveless marriage at age 50. Thanks to a small inheritance, she’s started over with a sewing shop and a little flat in her hometown of Lincolnshire, England. After a weed-smoking shed session with her best friend, Bel, she embarks on a journey into the world of online dating. Along the way she tries to make her shop a profitable place, starting with a Monday Night quilting circle. Among the “hotbed of quilters” is Stef, a handsome designer who’s escorting his mom into the group. The sparks are undeniable, even as Frankie sows her oats and Stef readiness himself for an arranged marriage in Slovakia.
Frankie makes for a very relatable protagonist. She earns her underdog credentials by describing her twenty-year slog with her son’s father, which includes total bankruptcy. The first-person narrative is about as down-to-earth as it gets, with syntax and grammar unmistakably the voice of this everywoman. Of course, Frankie’s language is peppered with more F-bombs than Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. So if you’re not ready for the supposed contrast of humble quilters putting a platoon of Marines to shame, maybe walk away slowly.
Starting a business at any age is daunting, and the anxiety Frankie feels is communicated very clearly. So is her foray into the online dating world: I felt I was with her as she dipped her toe in the icky pool of Match.com and sites like them. This element in particular gets the most attention and most detail: each site, each date, each casual sex escapade gives us a nearly manual-like instruction on what a new dater would experience. Ford absolutely knows how to “show, don’t tell” for the things she wants us to see.
The early reviews aren’t wrong: there are a few LOL moments, beyond my spit-take at the onset. Frankie might be an everywoman, but she has a PhD in snark (there are so few of us). Her take on the bad dates and absurdities is rakish, clever, and unique. Perhaps she uses “I’d rather” so often that I used my Kindle to count the instances, but the humor made this forgivable. Also, I swore I saw a nice little transformation, whereby Frankie became a different person by the end. More confident and appreciative, and an emerging middle-class heroine.
At times I felt it was hard to concentrate on one storyline at a time. Ford shows us early on that the most important part of the story is Frankie’s search for love. But she’s also developing a shop, moving on from her husband, looking out for her son and best friend, and maybe falling for Stef. Those themes tend to get overshadowed by a laundry list of dating adventures, which get to be a bit much toward the end. The success of the quilting group seems a bit rushed.
Also, despite the language, spice lovers will be a little disappointed. Frankie takes her dates by the hand, leads them to the bedroom…then shuts the door. She doesn’t kiss and tell, I suppose: no description of the action whatsoever. When I compare this to other books in this genre I’ve read, even ones without the preponderance of F-bombs, this was a surprise.
Finally, I’m curious to know what the average reader thinks of Stef. I’ve got my reasons, but my like-o-meter tipped toward “Nah,” especially toward the end. I get that there’s supposed to be some tension, but I think he stepped over the line more than once. Would I have expected Frankie to tolerate some of his ideas? Hmm…
Ford does what the book says: puts us in the shoes of a likeable protagonist in a familiar but very personal situation. She makes us laugh, cry, and curse like a sailor on every page. Divorced, Not Dead is worth a try for anyone with a constitution strong enough to enter the creepy world of middle-age online dating.
Thank you to NetGalley and Avon Publishing for an advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
Frances “Frankie” Brumby has finally crawled her way out of a loveless marriage at age 50. Thanks to a small inheritance, she’s started over with a sewing shop and a little flat in her hometown of Lincolnshire, England. After a weed-smoking shed session with her best friend, Bel, she embarks on a journey into the world of online dating. Along the way she tries to make her shop a profitable place, starting with a Monday Night quilting circle. Among the “hotbed of quilters” is Stef, a handsome designer who’s escorting his mom into the group. The sparks are undeniable, even as Frankie sows her oats and Stef readiness himself for an arranged marriage in Slovakia.
Frankie makes for a very relatable protagonist. She earns her underdog credentials by describing her twenty-year slog with her son’s father, which includes total bankruptcy. The first-person narrative is about as down-to-earth as it gets, with syntax and grammar unmistakably the voice of this everywoman. Of course, Frankie’s language is peppered with more F-bombs than Joe Pesci in Goodfellas. So if you’re not ready for the supposed contrast of humble quilters putting a platoon of Marines to shame, maybe walk away slowly.
Starting a business at any age is daunting, and the anxiety Frankie feels is communicated very clearly. So is her foray into the online dating world: I felt I was with her as she dipped her toe in the icky pool of Match.com and sites like them. This element in particular gets the most attention and most detail: each site, each date, each casual sex escapade gives us a nearly manual-like instruction on what a new dater would experience. Ford absolutely knows how to “show, don’t tell” for the things she wants us to see.
The early reviews aren’t wrong: there are a few LOL moments, beyond my spit-take at the onset. Frankie might be an everywoman, but she has a PhD in snark (there are so few of us). Her take on the bad dates and absurdities is rakish, clever, and unique. Perhaps she uses “I’d rather” so often that I used my Kindle to count the instances, but the humor made this forgivable. Also, I swore I saw a nice little transformation, whereby Frankie became a different person by the end. More confident and appreciative, and an emerging middle-class heroine.
At times I felt it was hard to concentrate on one storyline at a time. Ford shows us early on that the most important part of the story is Frankie’s search for love. But she’s also developing a shop, moving on from her husband, looking out for her son and best friend, and maybe falling for Stef. Those themes tend to get overshadowed by a laundry list of dating adventures, which get to be a bit much toward the end. The success of the quilting group seems a bit rushed.
Also, despite the language, spice lovers will be a little disappointed. Frankie takes her dates by the hand, leads them to the bedroom…then shuts the door. She doesn’t kiss and tell, I suppose: no description of the action whatsoever. When I compare this to other books in this genre I’ve read, even ones without the preponderance of F-bombs, this was a surprise.
Finally, I’m curious to know what the average reader thinks of Stef. I’ve got my reasons, but my like-o-meter tipped toward “Nah,” especially toward the end. I get that there’s supposed to be some tension, but I think he stepped over the line more than once. Would I have expected Frankie to tolerate some of his ideas? Hmm…
Ford does what the book says: puts us in the shoes of a likeable protagonist in a familiar but very personal situation. She makes us laugh, cry, and curse like a sailor on every page. Divorced, Not Dead is worth a try for anyone with a constitution strong enough to enter the creepy world of middle-age online dating.
Thank you to NetGalley and Avon Publishing for an advance copy in exchange for my honest review.
September 25, 2023
Oh my God. This book.
It started good. Really good and promising and I even laughed. So the first 12%.
And then it went completely downhill.
There were millions of words. I know, it's a book and they need words, so that we can read them. When they are interesting. And it was just wordy. And not when they feel like one huge long monologue from Frankie and about Frankie. Frankie, Frankie, Frankie. I mean, she was a really good main character. She knew what she wanted, she was not afraid to search for this, she was brave and funny. But the way she spoke and explained. Then the male character, I forgot his name already. Oh my fucking God, quoting Frankie. Never in my life. He was boring, uncertain, possessive and mummy's boy.
I am really glad that I've eventually started to skim - reading, because i'd read this book for another few years.
The descriptions of quilting that dragged on and on for a few pages. The analysis of every single dating app, of what can happen, of different kinds of sexuality - it felt like a guide and not like a novel. Rambling and rambling and rambling on.
I wanted to like it, I really did. The synopsis was brilliant, the title too and I hoped was something extremely light and funny. I got something extremely heavy and overdone. Pity.
It started good. Really good and promising and I even laughed. So the first 12%.
And then it went completely downhill.
There were millions of words. I know, it's a book and they need words, so that we can read them. When they are interesting. And it was just wordy. And not when they feel like one huge long monologue from Frankie and about Frankie. Frankie, Frankie, Frankie. I mean, she was a really good main character. She knew what she wanted, she was not afraid to search for this, she was brave and funny. But the way she spoke and explained. Then the male character, I forgot his name already. Oh my fucking God, quoting Frankie. Never in my life. He was boring, uncertain, possessive and mummy's boy.
I am really glad that I've eventually started to skim - reading, because i'd read this book for another few years.
The descriptions of quilting that dragged on and on for a few pages. The analysis of every single dating app, of what can happen, of different kinds of sexuality - it felt like a guide and not like a novel. Rambling and rambling and rambling on.
I wanted to like it, I really did. The synopsis was brilliant, the title too and I hoped was something extremely light and funny. I got something extremely heavy and overdone. Pity.
August 16, 2023
Fifty something Frankie has just divorced her husband of twenty years. Her son has left for university. So, decides to get back on the wagon as the saying goes and with the help of her friend Bel introducing her to some dating apps. She decides to go on dating apps. But the modern dating scene is not as straightforward as it used to be and she learns about Catfishing, kittenfishing, ghosting and sexting etc and the scene is a jungle out there.
Thank you, Avon, for a copy of Divorced (not dead). I have read the author's historical novels and was intrigued to read her first Rom com. And I will be honest I didn’t read the blurb on who the author was. If I had I realise that I am not the target audience for this. I really wanted to like this but felt the narrator was rambling on about dating and I felt it was more of a guide on dating than an actual fictional story. 3 stars from me.
Thank you, Avon, for a copy of Divorced (not dead). I have read the author's historical novels and was intrigued to read her first Rom com. And I will be honest I didn’t read the blurb on who the author was. If I had I realise that I am not the target audience for this. I really wanted to like this but felt the narrator was rambling on about dating and I felt it was more of a guide on dating than an actual fictional story. 3 stars from me.
August 16, 2023
I hadn't heard of this author before, but the title was too enticing to skip, and the title is perfect for this story.
When this begins, Frankie is still coming to terms with the end of her 20-year marriage (admittedly her choice), and looking to begin the next stage of her life. It is easy to relate to her newly found freedom, and I enjoyed her independence. The conversations and banter between these characters is very easy to attach with, and for most of the read, I felt as if I was sitting next to her/them. [It is a very British read, and I enjoyed the linguistic phrasing.]
I did feel as if the whole "dating" aspect was a huge part of this character's focus, and took up much of the read [even if it was hysterical, it's a lot]. Seeing what she encounters on all the online dating apps is entertaining, and sad at the same time. Her friend Bel definitely spurs her on, and their conversations in the potting shed were fun. I am a bit torn about how I feel about Stef. As much as I liked him for her, neither of them were entirely what the other needed. I felt like that was the point the author was trying to convey, that love isn't easy or perfect, but I kept waiting for them to get it more together, and make decisions that resulted in the Happy Ever After I wanted for them.
I thank Avon Books UK and Netgalley for my free ARC. This was a fun read, easy to connect with, and I recommend reading this one.
When this begins, Frankie is still coming to terms with the end of her 20-year marriage (admittedly her choice), and looking to begin the next stage of her life. It is easy to relate to her newly found freedom, and I enjoyed her independence. The conversations and banter between these characters is very easy to attach with, and for most of the read, I felt as if I was sitting next to her/them. [It is a very British read, and I enjoyed the linguistic phrasing.]
I did feel as if the whole "dating" aspect was a huge part of this character's focus, and took up much of the read [even if it was hysterical, it's a lot]. Seeing what she encounters on all the online dating apps is entertaining, and sad at the same time. Her friend Bel definitely spurs her on, and their conversations in the potting shed were fun. I am a bit torn about how I feel about Stef. As much as I liked him for her, neither of them were entirely what the other needed. I felt like that was the point the author was trying to convey, that love isn't easy or perfect, but I kept waiting for them to get it more together, and make decisions that resulted in the Happy Ever After I wanted for them.
I thank Avon Books UK and Netgalley for my free ARC. This was a fun read, easy to connect with, and I recommend reading this one.
January 2, 2024
Well this was a novel read for me, the character from the book was quite opinionated and enjoyed swearing whilst exploring the pitfalls and highs of online dating.
Gloriously funny, frank and at times made me laugh out loud and other times sit with my mouth open in surprise/shock.
U learn alot too re the dating game xxx
Gloriously funny, frank and at times made me laugh out loud and other times sit with my mouth open in surprise/shock.
U learn alot too re the dating game xxx
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 27, 2024
Loved it✨ probably for a 30+ audience, it’s got so many ‘ain’t that the truth’ moments which come with a bit of life experience - hard/traumatic relationships, kiddos, marriage. Took photos of some paragraphes to look back in the future. Will definitely reread many times👏🏻👌🏻
May 21, 2024
2.5 stars. It kept me entertained, but it was just a little too cringy at some points. Also how the son was SO CHILL with the divorce, was just the weirdest thing ever.
October 22, 2023
I’m not really the target audience, as a middle aged man. That said, I read pretty widely, and when this came up very cheaply on my ebook shop, I thought I’d give it a go.
There’s a pretty good book in here, but some serious editing is needed.
It starts very well. The heroine is sketched out pretty well, with parts, including the introduction of the quilters, genuinely laugh-out-loud hilarious.
Things go downhill when the online dating starts, and large parts of the book read more like a Cosmopolitan in-depth study of the online dating world than a novel. I think this aspect of the book will date very quickly.
The relationship of the heroine with the student son is unrealistic. Real teenagers would get the “ick” at the extreme degree of TMI.
I get that it is a romcom trope that the end is evident well in advance, but I found the ending pretty unsatisfactory. Four Weddings and a Funeral managed an ending that was unexpected at the time. I thought the ending could have been done much better.
The real star of the book, though, is the town of Lincoln. It is described with obvious love and care. I’ve never been, but now I want to go there.
There’s a pretty good book in here, but some serious editing is needed.
It starts very well. The heroine is sketched out pretty well, with parts, including the introduction of the quilters, genuinely laugh-out-loud hilarious.
Things go downhill when the online dating starts, and large parts of the book read more like a Cosmopolitan in-depth study of the online dating world than a novel. I think this aspect of the book will date very quickly.
The relationship of the heroine with the student son is unrealistic. Real teenagers would get the “ick” at the extreme degree of TMI.
I get that it is a romcom trope that the end is evident well in advance, but I found the ending pretty unsatisfactory. Four Weddings and a Funeral managed an ending that was unexpected at the time. I thought the ending could have been done much better.
The real star of the book, though, is the town of Lincoln. It is described with obvious love and care. I’ve never been, but now I want to go there.
May 22, 2024
Too Preachy
The premise of this novel is good, but it’s too preachy. The characters are not well developed. Some funny parts between long and boring stretches. I kept reading it thinking it would get better, but never did. Best thing about the book is the title.
The premise of this novel is good, but it’s too preachy. The characters are not well developed. Some funny parts between long and boring stretches. I kept reading it thinking it would get better, but never did. Best thing about the book is the title.
December 16, 2023
It became so repetitive towards the end
September 26, 2023
Fifty year old Frankie is back dating!
I was struggling with a book that felt turgid and plodding so I set it aside and picked up Divorced Not Dead and was immediately transported into a witty, snappy (or should that be SnapChatty?) world that grabbed my attention and simply didn’t let go.
Now, let me say at the outset, if you are offended by frequent expletives and references to sexual activity, read something else! Divorced Not Dead is not the book for you. If, however, you want to read about the real life of a newly single woman who is learning to be herself in the dangerous waters of online dating, Divorced Not Dead is absolutely perfect.
I thought the quilting group and Frankie’s shop were inspired as they give a unity of place and character that anchor the narrative even as Frankie free-wheels through various dates and relationships. We get to know the members of the hotbed of quilters gradually at the same time Frankie does so that it feels like a true-to-life establishing of friendships. Despite Frankie’s manic and often self destructive behaviour, it is friendship that underpins the action in Divorced Not Dead, so that whilst her experiences are way beyond those of the majority of Harper Ford’s readers (I assume!), the story feels relatable and engaging for all.
And Frankie is a glorious creation. She’s a multi-layered and contrary mix of vulnerability and strength, diffidence and confidence that depicts her as a real woman. As she learns the terminology and practicality of online dating (and thank heavens for the brilliant glossary of dating terms at the end of the book) there’s wonderful humour. I found her repartee with the cat-fishing scammers hilarious. I have a feeling Frankie has encountered some of the men who turn up unannounced and unwanted in my own online (not dating) accounts!
Whilst the plot of Divorced Not Dead essentially revolves around Frankie’s relationships with romance at its heart, there’s a surprising depth too. Harper Ford explores coercive and controlling relationships, how we can lose sight of ourselves as we try to accommodate others, how financial insecurity impacts lives, and how true friendship endures. She also looks at post-natal depression, parenthood and body image but with a lightness of touch that never detracts from the enjoyment in reading the story whilst making it feel adult and mature too. This is a book that surprises as well as entertains.
Sweary, sassy and sensational, Harper Ford’s Divorced Not Dead will be a book that shocks some and amuses others. Some will no doubt feel it is not for them, but either way, it is not to be missed. I loved it!
I was struggling with a book that felt turgid and plodding so I set it aside and picked up Divorced Not Dead and was immediately transported into a witty, snappy (or should that be SnapChatty?) world that grabbed my attention and simply didn’t let go.
Now, let me say at the outset, if you are offended by frequent expletives and references to sexual activity, read something else! Divorced Not Dead is not the book for you. If, however, you want to read about the real life of a newly single woman who is learning to be herself in the dangerous waters of online dating, Divorced Not Dead is absolutely perfect.
I thought the quilting group and Frankie’s shop were inspired as they give a unity of place and character that anchor the narrative even as Frankie free-wheels through various dates and relationships. We get to know the members of the hotbed of quilters gradually at the same time Frankie does so that it feels like a true-to-life establishing of friendships. Despite Frankie’s manic and often self destructive behaviour, it is friendship that underpins the action in Divorced Not Dead, so that whilst her experiences are way beyond those of the majority of Harper Ford’s readers (I assume!), the story feels relatable and engaging for all.
And Frankie is a glorious creation. She’s a multi-layered and contrary mix of vulnerability and strength, diffidence and confidence that depicts her as a real woman. As she learns the terminology and practicality of online dating (and thank heavens for the brilliant glossary of dating terms at the end of the book) there’s wonderful humour. I found her repartee with the cat-fishing scammers hilarious. I have a feeling Frankie has encountered some of the men who turn up unannounced and unwanted in my own online (not dating) accounts!
Whilst the plot of Divorced Not Dead essentially revolves around Frankie’s relationships with romance at its heart, there’s a surprising depth too. Harper Ford explores coercive and controlling relationships, how we can lose sight of ourselves as we try to accommodate others, how financial insecurity impacts lives, and how true friendship endures. She also looks at post-natal depression, parenthood and body image but with a lightness of touch that never detracts from the enjoyment in reading the story whilst making it feel adult and mature too. This is a book that surprises as well as entertains.
Sweary, sassy and sensational, Harper Ford’s Divorced Not Dead will be a book that shocks some and amuses others. Some will no doubt feel it is not for them, but either way, it is not to be missed. I loved it!
August 14, 2023
Divorced Not Dead
By Harper Ford
Frankie is Divorced, she's certainly not dead. She maybe a little rusty with the dating scene and a total novice at online dating, but she certainly isn't dead.
I read a whole heap of crime thrillers, every now and then a book from a different genre catches my attention and that is exactly what happened with this book. I really liked the sound of it and really thrilled that I got to read it.
Meet Frankie: fifty, divorced and getting back on the horse. What a ride it will be. Frankie decided to give on line dating a go and while it may not be something she's familiar with, with the help of her good friend Bel she's soon learning all the jargon and just what a minefield online dating can be.
Getting back in the dating scene when you've been married for forever is never going to be easy. But if you do it Frankie style then it should certainly be fun.
Heartfelt and laugh out loud this book had me in stitches. It also gives you that warm fuzzy feeling that only a good ending can leave you with.
I love the group of hotbed quilters that Frankie has set up, a great place to meet like minded people. What a great bunch of characters they turned out to be, learning different things about different people is always fun but when it has humor included it's even better.
Get on this journey with Frankie into the crazy world of online dating and enjoy the ride. The author has taught us to understand what it's like getting back out there when you have been in a relationship for so long, that you need to be safe but most of all you need to have fun, you need to do what you want to do and look out for yourself.
The book should come with a warning. ' Double up on your tenna ladies'
By Harper Ford
Frankie is Divorced, she's certainly not dead. She maybe a little rusty with the dating scene and a total novice at online dating, but she certainly isn't dead.
I read a whole heap of crime thrillers, every now and then a book from a different genre catches my attention and that is exactly what happened with this book. I really liked the sound of it and really thrilled that I got to read it.
Meet Frankie: fifty, divorced and getting back on the horse. What a ride it will be. Frankie decided to give on line dating a go and while it may not be something she's familiar with, with the help of her good friend Bel she's soon learning all the jargon and just what a minefield online dating can be.
Getting back in the dating scene when you've been married for forever is never going to be easy. But if you do it Frankie style then it should certainly be fun.
Heartfelt and laugh out loud this book had me in stitches. It also gives you that warm fuzzy feeling that only a good ending can leave you with.
I love the group of hotbed quilters that Frankie has set up, a great place to meet like minded people. What a great bunch of characters they turned out to be, learning different things about different people is always fun but when it has humor included it's even better.
Get on this journey with Frankie into the crazy world of online dating and enjoy the ride. The author has taught us to understand what it's like getting back out there when you have been in a relationship for so long, that you need to be safe but most of all you need to have fun, you need to do what you want to do and look out for yourself.
The book should come with a warning. ' Double up on your tenna ladies'
December 9, 2023
Who would have thought a book about a group of people quilting would be such a good read.. To be fair that's not all it's about but it was my favourite part. Frankie has just split up from her nasty, twisted husband and started up her own business with a quilting supplies shop. At the age of 50 she thinks she is too old for romance but her best friend Bel and the girls in her quilting group talk her into trying a few internet dating sites. I loved her descriptions of some of the quite frankly crazy men she meets. She really enjoys winding up those who are obviously catfishing. Some of her replies had me laughing out loud. Then there are the dates she goes on, I won't give any details as that would spoil it for future readers but any woman who refers to her. ex-husband as twatface is going to have some great names for her dates. Of course there is a real love interest in hunky half Slovakian Stefan who comes along to Frankie's quilting group to escort his elderly mother but he's engaged to the beautiful Zuzana so he's out of bounds. Or is he?
This was a real laugh. The different women in the quilting group she sets up to draw people to her shop are hilarious. From blue haired Paige to posh Michelle they are all determined to find Frankie a man and have set their minds firmly on Stefan. I can't wait to find out what this author will come out with next.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book
This was a real laugh. The different women in the quilting group she sets up to draw people to her shop are hilarious. From blue haired Paige to posh Michelle they are all determined to find Frankie a man and have set their minds firmly on Stefan. I can't wait to find out what this author will come out with next.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC of this book
October 21, 2023
Frankie is just out of a very toxic marriage and with the help of her friend Bel she launches herself into the dating app game. She then has to navigate ghosting, one night stands, lies, catfishing etc as she meets various candidates. This is all whilst building her quilting business.
The were plenty of laugh out loud moments in this book, Frankie didn't always take herself seriously and could be quite sarcastic as a character. There is plenty to unpack in this book, from 'slut shaming' to cheating, it wasn't always easy to read.
I struggled to get behind the romance element in this one and there were parts when Frankie was messaging with random men that I skimmed over, but overall I liked the message, the strong female characters and the friendships between them.
The were plenty of laugh out loud moments in this book, Frankie didn't always take herself seriously and could be quite sarcastic as a character. There is plenty to unpack in this book, from 'slut shaming' to cheating, it wasn't always easy to read.
I struggled to get behind the romance element in this one and there were parts when Frankie was messaging with random men that I skimmed over, but overall I liked the message, the strong female characters and the friendships between them.
November 11, 2023
This started off fairly good but about half way through just got worse and worse. A quilting group whose members include a rainbow of sexualities? Really?? Frankie is the most annoying person ever. I don’t know if she ended up with Stef because I stopped reading it because I didn’t care. Yawn.
September 12, 2024
It’s a really good book. I really enjoyed that the book wasn’t focused on the romance, but rather on Frankie’s evolvement and story. Parts of the book was a bit repetitive, but all in all it’s a very good book!
September 12, 2024
Officially one of my faves!
After finishing this tonight, I actually think I’m going to miss the main character, Frankie. This book literally is so down to earth, easily readable and made me LOL at times.
After finishing this tonight, I actually think I’m going to miss the main character, Frankie. This book literally is so down to earth, easily readable and made me LOL at times.
April 6, 2025
Really quite funny at points but also at other points was trying too much. The mother-son relationship was questionable, how are you chatting like you’re teen besties? 50 years old going on 16 🙃
Hated the MC’s misogyny, not how I like my Hs. I get the character growth and development but still.
Hated the MC’s misogyny, not how I like my Hs. I get the character growth and development but still.
March 10, 2024
A funny account of a 50 yr old woman going back into the new world of dating with apps and the funny journey of starting over
May 9, 2024
Such a fun read!
January 11, 2024
Harper Ford's "Divorced Not Dead" is an uproarious escapade, brimming with wit sharper than a quilting needle and a narrative that sizzles with vivaciousness. It’s a tale that doesn’t just tickle your funny bone; it gives it a jolly good shake! This book is a godsend for those who relish a story with laughs aplenty, heartwarming moments, and a dash of romance that’s delightfully free from schmaltz.
Meet Frankie, the irrepressible protagonist in her fabulous fifties. With a recent escape from a joyless marriage to a man aptly nicknamed Twatface, she’s a beacon of hope for anyone who’s felt trampled by life’s cruelties. Her tale is not just about survival; it's a testament to thriving against the odds. She’s as refreshing as a glass of Pimm's on a hot summer's day, transforming from a downtrodden wife to a bold, no-nonsense woman ready to conquer the world, one stitch at a time.
Frankie’s journey into the wild world of internet dating is akin to Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, but instead of tea parties, she encounters a kaleidoscope of modern dating dilemmas: catfishing, sexting, and an array of men who make Twatface seem almost saintly. It's a candid and hilarious exploration of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly sides of dating after divorce.
What sets this book apart is its gutsy honesty. It’s a no-holds-barred look at sex, dating, and self-discovery, served with a generous side of laughter. Ford’s prose is as sharp as a tack, and her observations on the perils and pleasures of modern romance are spot on. The book isn’t just a laugh riot; it’s a battle cry for anyone who’s ever felt defeated by love, reminding us that there’s life – and plenty of it – after divorce.
In "Divorced Not Dead," Harper Ford stitches together a vibrant tapestry of humor, heart, and a little bit of hubris. It’s a book that doesn’t just entertain; it empowers. So, buckle up and prepare for a rollicking good read that will leave you not just chuckling, but cheering for Frankie and her wonderfully wild ride through life's second chances.
Meet Frankie, the irrepressible protagonist in her fabulous fifties. With a recent escape from a joyless marriage to a man aptly nicknamed Twatface, she’s a beacon of hope for anyone who’s felt trampled by life’s cruelties. Her tale is not just about survival; it's a testament to thriving against the odds. She’s as refreshing as a glass of Pimm's on a hot summer's day, transforming from a downtrodden wife to a bold, no-nonsense woman ready to conquer the world, one stitch at a time.
Frankie’s journey into the wild world of internet dating is akin to Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, but instead of tea parties, she encounters a kaleidoscope of modern dating dilemmas: catfishing, sexting, and an array of men who make Twatface seem almost saintly. It's a candid and hilarious exploration of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly sides of dating after divorce.
What sets this book apart is its gutsy honesty. It’s a no-holds-barred look at sex, dating, and self-discovery, served with a generous side of laughter. Ford’s prose is as sharp as a tack, and her observations on the perils and pleasures of modern romance are spot on. The book isn’t just a laugh riot; it’s a battle cry for anyone who’s ever felt defeated by love, reminding us that there’s life – and plenty of it – after divorce.
In "Divorced Not Dead," Harper Ford stitches together a vibrant tapestry of humor, heart, and a little bit of hubris. It’s a book that doesn’t just entertain; it empowers. So, buckle up and prepare for a rollicking good read that will leave you not just chuckling, but cheering for Frankie and her wonderfully wild ride through life's second chances.
September 17, 2023
It's was a lot of fun but it's also a good description of how the dating world is working and how Frankie grew into an independent woman.
Witty, well plotted, engrossing
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
Witty, well plotted, engrossing
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
September 6, 2024
divorced (not dead) by Harper Ford c 2023 as reviewed by Gail M. Murray
Couldn’t resist the title. This is British author, Harper Ford’s first foray into the world of contemporary romcom novels. Written in the first person, the beginning reads like a memoir looking back and reflecting, flickers of Eat, Pray, Love. Fifty and freshly divorced, Frankie Brumby and her best pal, Bel, smoke joints and discuss dating in the 2020’s, specifically the perks and perils of online dating.
Frankie lives in the cathedral town of Lincoln part of the East Midlands. The story is peppered with British expressions such as bloke, flat, WC and wanker. Bel recommends she join Plenty of Fish for a shag and eHarmony for substance – two popular online sites. People who have tried these sites will find this hilarious and spot on. How did the author research this? Did she query friends or set up a profile? There’s even a glossary of dating terms for the uninitiated. The dating terms cover ghosting, benching, catfishing, and my favorite beige flags. Beige Flags = elements of a dating profile which seem boring, generic or clichéd, suggesting a dull person who’ll probably make as little effort with dating as they have with their profile. Haven’t we all passed on those? After her first actual “date”, Frankie describes dating. “It dawns on me for the first time what dating is: meeting complete strangers in public, having to make random conversation, all the while sizing each other up , with the horrible implications, what if I fancy them, and they don’t fancy me or vice versa, what if they are boring or weird or moody or annoying. And suddenly dating isn’t so shiny anymore.”(p84) I love to see her function at speed dating. Frankie goes from being excited to annoyed to assaulted. Not encouraging.
So far she doesn’t come across as very bright. Then she uses her great aunt’s inheritance to set up a quilting shop and run a quilting club to advertise her business. Some rather unique characters now enter the picture, their introductions sounding like an AA meeting. When Stefan Walker enters the shop to help, Gita, his housebound mother (due to hip injury) via video on his iPad: it starts to feel like a real story with a possible organic love interest. Even though Stefan is engaged to Zuzana back in Slovakia , neatly arranged by his domineering mother, who plans to live with them…..there is chemistry and companionable time as a relationship develops between Frankie and Stefan. Will Stefan stand up to his mother? Will there be the big romantic comedy ending? I could have lived without all the “f” words which I felt made our heroine seem less sympathetic yet in the end I was rooting for her!
Couldn’t resist the title. This is British author, Harper Ford’s first foray into the world of contemporary romcom novels. Written in the first person, the beginning reads like a memoir looking back and reflecting, flickers of Eat, Pray, Love. Fifty and freshly divorced, Frankie Brumby and her best pal, Bel, smoke joints and discuss dating in the 2020’s, specifically the perks and perils of online dating.
Frankie lives in the cathedral town of Lincoln part of the East Midlands. The story is peppered with British expressions such as bloke, flat, WC and wanker. Bel recommends she join Plenty of Fish for a shag and eHarmony for substance – two popular online sites. People who have tried these sites will find this hilarious and spot on. How did the author research this? Did she query friends or set up a profile? There’s even a glossary of dating terms for the uninitiated. The dating terms cover ghosting, benching, catfishing, and my favorite beige flags. Beige Flags = elements of a dating profile which seem boring, generic or clichéd, suggesting a dull person who’ll probably make as little effort with dating as they have with their profile. Haven’t we all passed on those? After her first actual “date”, Frankie describes dating. “It dawns on me for the first time what dating is: meeting complete strangers in public, having to make random conversation, all the while sizing each other up , with the horrible implications, what if I fancy them, and they don’t fancy me or vice versa, what if they are boring or weird or moody or annoying. And suddenly dating isn’t so shiny anymore.”(p84) I love to see her function at speed dating. Frankie goes from being excited to annoyed to assaulted. Not encouraging.
So far she doesn’t come across as very bright. Then she uses her great aunt’s inheritance to set up a quilting shop and run a quilting club to advertise her business. Some rather unique characters now enter the picture, their introductions sounding like an AA meeting. When Stefan Walker enters the shop to help, Gita, his housebound mother (due to hip injury) via video on his iPad: it starts to feel like a real story with a possible organic love interest. Even though Stefan is engaged to Zuzana back in Slovakia , neatly arranged by his domineering mother, who plans to live with them…..there is chemistry and companionable time as a relationship develops between Frankie and Stefan. Will Stefan stand up to his mother? Will there be the big romantic comedy ending? I could have lived without all the “f” words which I felt made our heroine seem less sympathetic yet in the end I was rooting for her!
October 5, 2023
If you know me, you know I don’t tend to get on well with Rom-Com type books. I find them too ridiculous, formulaic and hence predictable and a little sickening in their ‘happy endings’. And, it’s safe to say I’m not really the target audience for this book either (I’m 33, happily married and never online dated) but despite that I actually really enjoyed this.
I found this book a breath of fresh air, I loved that the protagonist, Frankie, was older (she’s 50) but still full of life and unashamedly so. She swears like a sailor, likes a glass of red and is ready to explore life.
The other characters are quirky and developed just enough that they don’t feel hollow or just there to fill space but actually have purpose to the story and Frankie’s character development.
She’s discovering herself again after getting out of a crappy marriage and that’s really what this story is about. It’s a how-to of online dating and a positive look to life post divorce - post getting out of an abusive relationship.
The online dating stories are pretty amusing but also sad because you know a lot of Frankie’s experiences are based off real experiences (or if you didn’t know, then yes they are based on fact). It makes me glad I’ve never had to experience that!
And that’s an overwhelming vibe of this book - its realness.
It didn’t feel like a ‘cookie-cutter’ Rom-Com and I think that’s mainly due to this realness, Frankie’s attitude and the writing style. It’s first person and very informal with a lot of abbreviations used (I did however feel slightly annoyed at them sometimes and felt “AF” was perhaps used too much).
I enjoyed the messiness of the relationships, the fact the characters were flawed, recognised their flaws and learned from them and or embraced them.
I will say that despite not being the target audience for this book I did actually find comparison with Frankie’s friend Bel. I’m also a new mum and to take Frankie’s words of wisdom, Motherhood is Fucking insane! I however don’t smoke joints in my garden shed to deal with it… maybe I should.
I know this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, the swearing and frankness regarding casual sex could be off-putting to some but I found it a little different for the genre and would recommend.
August 26, 2023
I am kind of the demographic for this novel, I am in my 50's and a recent empty nester. However, and this is a big one, I have no desire to get into the dating game, and it is just as well, all things considered!
Frankie is a woman of a certain age who has just escaped a 20 year, less-than-wonderful marriage. She has set up a new business, a quilting shop. She has a best friend, Bel, who is a new mum, and the two of them spend a fair bit of time in Bel's shed, putting the world to rights. Everyone needs a friendship like these two! :)
Now, Frankie has had a less than great love life in recent years and she now wants to explore the world of online dating and wow, what an eye-opener that is!! She is swiftly introduced to all the ups and downs of this world and quite frankly, it sounds rather scary to me, it has to be said. She meets some interesting men and has a good time, for the most part, but then she meets Stef and he turns her world upside down. His old-fashioned views are at odds with her more casual approach but the two of them have a connection they can't deny. Unfortunately, he is engaged to be married....
There are a lot of things about this book that I really enjoyed. I loved the friendships that Frankie had; not just with Bel but also with the ladies of the quilting group. I could just imagine her in her village, surrounded by like-minded people and having a great time. Frankie is foul mouthed, true, but it suits her and I was in no way offended by this (even though my daughter makes fun of me for being unable to say the F word, myself).
Now it seems to me that this book is almost a "how to" book about online dating. Yes, it is funny and the author is one witty woman, clearly. Some of the scenarios that Frankie encounters made me cringe though, big-time. It is an unfortunate fact that even in 2023, women get the rough end of the pineapple, over and over again, when it comes to dating. And that makes me sad.
4.5 stars from me.
Thank you to NetGalley and Avon Books UK.
Frankie is a woman of a certain age who has just escaped a 20 year, less-than-wonderful marriage. She has set up a new business, a quilting shop. She has a best friend, Bel, who is a new mum, and the two of them spend a fair bit of time in Bel's shed, putting the world to rights. Everyone needs a friendship like these two! :)
Now, Frankie has had a less than great love life in recent years and she now wants to explore the world of online dating and wow, what an eye-opener that is!! She is swiftly introduced to all the ups and downs of this world and quite frankly, it sounds rather scary to me, it has to be said. She meets some interesting men and has a good time, for the most part, but then she meets Stef and he turns her world upside down. His old-fashioned views are at odds with her more casual approach but the two of them have a connection they can't deny. Unfortunately, he is engaged to be married....
There are a lot of things about this book that I really enjoyed. I loved the friendships that Frankie had; not just with Bel but also with the ladies of the quilting group. I could just imagine her in her village, surrounded by like-minded people and having a great time. Frankie is foul mouthed, true, but it suits her and I was in no way offended by this (even though my daughter makes fun of me for being unable to say the F word, myself).
Now it seems to me that this book is almost a "how to" book about online dating. Yes, it is funny and the author is one witty woman, clearly. Some of the scenarios that Frankie encounters made me cringe though, big-time. It is an unfortunate fact that even in 2023, women get the rough end of the pineapple, over and over again, when it comes to dating. And that makes me sad.
4.5 stars from me.
Thank you to NetGalley and Avon Books UK.
December 1, 2023
I am delighted to have ended what has been a difficult year with a book which has really made me laugh out loud and Divorced (Not Dead) ticked all the right boxes. It’s sassy, irreverent, gloriously funny, but also wise and absolutely wonderful.
Fifty year old Frankie Brumby is newly divorced from her coercive husband of two decades when, on the advice of her best friend, she enters the tricky waters of on-line dating. With her dating profile established and her confidence hovering around zero, Frankie soon discovers that there is a lot more to learn about this online dating malarkey. With a whole new online language to learn, and some pretty disastrous dates, Frankie eventually starts to have more fun than she could ever have imagined.
Whilst I laughed out loud at the online dating references, and learned things I had no idea about, the crafter in me thoroughly enjoyed the interaction with the wonderful characters who join Frankie at her weekly quilting group which shows the versatility of this talented author who can deliver two aspects of the same story, one filled with warmth and empathy and the other with a more ribald look at the vagaries of life. And then there’s Stephan, who adds a whole different dimension to the story, and who had me on his team from his first appearance.
Divorced (not dead) is absolutely fabulous, from start to finish, with a minor caveat that if you’re offended by the frequent use of the F-word or mild references to the sexual shenanigans of a newly divorced fifty-something then maybe this isn’t the story for you …however, if you love a rom com with a fair amount of sass, with a brave and bold heroine who fills your heart with delight and a cast of quirky characters who make turning the pages such a joy then, I am sure, this story will entertain you as much as it did me.
Fifty year old Frankie Brumby is newly divorced from her coercive husband of two decades when, on the advice of her best friend, she enters the tricky waters of on-line dating. With her dating profile established and her confidence hovering around zero, Frankie soon discovers that there is a lot more to learn about this online dating malarkey. With a whole new online language to learn, and some pretty disastrous dates, Frankie eventually starts to have more fun than she could ever have imagined.
Whilst I laughed out loud at the online dating references, and learned things I had no idea about, the crafter in me thoroughly enjoyed the interaction with the wonderful characters who join Frankie at her weekly quilting group which shows the versatility of this talented author who can deliver two aspects of the same story, one filled with warmth and empathy and the other with a more ribald look at the vagaries of life. And then there’s Stephan, who adds a whole different dimension to the story, and who had me on his team from his first appearance.
Divorced (not dead) is absolutely fabulous, from start to finish, with a minor caveat that if you’re offended by the frequent use of the F-word or mild references to the sexual shenanigans of a newly divorced fifty-something then maybe this isn’t the story for you …however, if you love a rom com with a fair amount of sass, with a brave and bold heroine who fills your heart with delight and a cast of quirky characters who make turning the pages such a joy then, I am sure, this story will entertain you as much as it did me.
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