Here I Stay

by Barbara Michaels

Andrea Torgesen is certain that hard work is exactly what her younger brother Jim needs to help him recover from the trauma of a serious car accident—and turning a decrepit old mansion into a beautiful country inn seems to be the perfect project. But unearthly voices and eerie visions haunt Jim from almost the first instant he sets foot in the dreary old house. And his strange obsession with a long-neglected graveyard is most troubling to his concerned sibling. There is evil in this place where the unthinkable is possible—a terrifying force that Andrea and Jim must confront . . . or forfeit their lives.

Genres: Mystery, Gothic, Fiction, Romance, Supernatural, Suspense, Ghosts

352 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1983

About the author

Barbara Michaels was a pen name of Barbara Mertz. She also wrote as Elizabeth Peters, as well as under her own name.

She was born in Canton, Illinois and has written over fifty books including some in Egyptology. Dr. Mertz also holds a Ph.D. from the University of Chicago in Egyptology.

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The female lead is an utter twit. That's about all I can say about this.

[Mary Lou · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mediocre ghost story, poorly told. Here I Stay was about 100 pages too long, and the characters, particularly the protagonist, were difficult to spend time with, let alone cheer on. No spoilers, but suffice it to say that the author had reasons for handling certain things in a particular way, but the way those things were written was overdone and clumsy. Here I Stay could have been written with much more subtlety and finesse. While the ending was somewhat redeeming, it was too little, much too late. I don't recommend this book.

[Daniel Stainback · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I found this to be a very entertaining book. However, I do see why other reviewers dislike the female protagonist, although critical to the plot, her constant smothering of her brother became a bit old after a while and her rudeness oftentimes seemed uncalled for. But I've just come to accept such things in a Barbara Michaels book. As fun as her books often are, her female leads tend to be a little too bullheaded and crass. Often times I look past all of this and just enjoy the story, as I did with this book.

[Kelly Dowswell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, where do I start? I'm not going to be nice in this review... sorry...

This is the very first book by Barbara Michaels that I've ever read.

I am not a published author or an editor; however, I am an aspiring author. And because of so, I have some very strong feelings about books. Be forewarned!

I didn't care for this book at all. I did finish it, but I don't know why. Sorry to the writer, but this one really fell flat.

I couldn't stand Andrea. She smothered that poor kid almost to death! Calling him 'darling'? Really? Why would any teenager ever let someone that isn't a grandmother ever call him that?! I was so maddened by the whole thing I couldn't even stand it. That's not normal behaviour. I felt really that the relationship between Andrea and Jim was just very messed up. I don't understand again, how a teenager would allow his older sister to treat him the way that Andrea did. It didn't make sense.

When it came to Andrea, I didn't understand also, why she kept refusing to allow herself to love Martin. He was someone that she obviously either despised or loved, depending on what side of the bed that she woke up on. I wanted them to get together, but definitely not the way that it happened. That was just silly to me. You don't get together because your common friend/sibling die. I'm sorry, that shouldn't be what allows your heart to open up and to accept love. You accept love 'cause you know it's real and that this person will be the best thing that's happened to you. You open up 'cause you can't imagine life without them. And after all the sweet things that he did for her, and she still pushed him away until she had no one else to turn to? That didn't sit right with me.

Also, Andrea seemed to never let go of her perfect dream idea of what her and Jim's relationship should be. She kept picturing the perfect life and Jim just being happy living with her forever and that's not realistic for someone that is a teenager!

I loved Martin. He was really the only one that really seemed real to me. He was willing to challenge Andrea and to push her beyond her comfort zone. And even when she got defensive and pushed him away, he still took time to challenge her 'cause he knew that she needed it. If he hadn't been in the book and it was just Andrea and Jim, I would have lost it. This book would have been put down and never opened again.

As for it being a book that was suppose to be "scary," it was anything but. There was so little that even made me flinch in this book. I felt like the writer had a good idea, but had no idea how to execute it at all. She wanted to have a ghost story that in the end was tragic and drew everyone together, but she really didn't know where to being. I almost felt like she told me, "Ok, here's the scary bit!" And told me about it. She didn't manage to draw me into it or to build it up in a way that made me on the edge of my seat. And I think the fact that the characters so blatantly refused to believe in this supernatural stuff, it made me not believe it either. Why would I if the characters weren't? The few characters that did get any real sense of the scary stuff going on, were in the story so little and not even given enough of a chance to really show themselves, that I was just so pissed I couldn't even handle it.

Anyways... I wish the author had put in more of an effort with the build up of scary, not just sat there and told me oh, btw, this is the scary stuff.

The story about the house and the women that lived there really didn't work for me either. I actually kind of glazed over it 'cause I didn't realize it was really anything. I didn't understand why the reader was telling me all this information about the previous owners. And I didn't even feel the realness of the desire of the characters to know and understand the previous owners.

I didn't care for the ending. I knew the end of the book was coming, but I really didn't know where she was going with it when I had only like two pages left. The way that she ended the book made little to no sense to me. All of a sudden, the brother dies, and I'm left thinking,... why bother killing him? Yes, there was the vision that the one character had and the brother himself knew something was going to happen, but the fact that the guy just dropped dead basically?
The "accident" of him being shoved and him dying from it? Really? If he was going to die and he felt such a connection to said ghost/spirit, wouldn't it have made more sense that he died in the same manner as the spirit did? Why not right? But instead, nope...

Anyways, I should wrap this up. I wouldn't recommend this book at all. It really didn't have some of the key elements that I look for in books that I love. I didn't get drawn into the story the way I had hoped, I didn't care about the characters all that much, and I didn't care if they lived or not. I wanted to see more scary things happen with the house. I wanted to sense a lot more danger than what I did.

Very disappointed. I don't think I'll read another of her books. I'm just so disappointed.

Sorry if I offended anyone with my review if you read all of it. It just isn't my style and I really felt like more could have been done with this book to make it so much better.

[Ana Lopes Miura · Rating 2 out of 5]

This could have been a short story. I very much liked the parts related to running the inn, but the whole thing was too damned contemplative for a ghost story.

[Sistermagpie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wasn't too fond of this Barbara Michaels book. Other reviewers have mentioned disliking the female protagonist for obvious reasons--she has an unhealthy, smothering relationship with her younger brother that would drive anyone nuts.

But by the end, I actually found myself disliking the younger brother even more. I found myself thinking yes, clearly you notice your sister's waiting on you hand and foot when it feels controlling or smothering, or when you're blaming her for surviving an accident, but you don't seem to notice it when you're leaving beer cans all over the house and trusting her to pick them up, or whiling away your days with whatever hobby you fancy at the moment while she supports you or screwing around with the stupid teenager maid (I kept picturing her getting pregnant and Andy doing all the hard work of raising the kid). Even his obsession with death just seemed like another example of Jimmie's self-involvement. So while I got that ultimately Andy was the one who was supposed to learn she was selfish trying to keep him on earth, she still got a pretty raw deal, losing her parents and her stepmother and then her brother who now got to hang out drinking beer in heaven with his new friends.

So in the end I kind of disliked both of them.

[Emily Ragsdale · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely not my favorite Barbara Michaels book (I'm actually sad by how many reviews say this was their first, she can do so much better!). A supernatural element that remains vague until the very end of the book is not unusual for her, but here it's so underdeveloped and the ending comes on so suddenly that I was starting to worry there were pages missing from my copy. The characters were alright but I didn't feel much chemistry between the main romantic pairing, and kept waiting for something more. Overall it was a mystery that was maybe too mysterious - we needed to see more from Jim's side of things, or maybe even from the supernatural perspective, to understand what was happening. Andrea was so single-minded that her sudden last minute moment of clarity - literally on the final page - was too little too late.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars.


This was a slow read where nothing happened yet I still enjoyed it. The horror factor was zero though and I was disappointed as I thought the story was building up to a big paranormal event. But it never happened. It just ended.

Apparently this isn't this authors best written story so I am interested in her other books. I think I'll chose one that has a high star rating next time though.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Registered on Bookcrossing - https://bookcrossing.com/journal/1636...
I love a good ghost story. This one was great. The ending was a surprise, I had no idea it would end this way.

[Kirsten · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. A cozy Gothic read. I understand why others do not like it, but its a classic Barbara Michaels read which I love.

[Robert Fontenot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been rereading a lot of Barbara Michael’s works for the first time in almost 30 years. It has been eye-opening and a little depressing. A lot of her work has not aged well and was probably never good to begin with. This book, however, reminded me of why I loved her work in the first place, it’s not really a Gothicromance, but there are a lot of Gothic elements, including an old house and a couple of ghosts. The main character is not always sympathetic, but she is doing her best to keep herself together under trying circumstances. Part of the book is a cozy examination of what it takes to run an inn but there’s a sad thread that runs through it and the ending is poignant and a little sad.

All in all, it feels like a much more mature work than a lot of her other books.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm giving it two stars because I finished it and it wasn't boring, but it also wasn't what I thought it would be. The review quotes on the back cover made me expect a creeping, gothic ghost story, but it was fiction with a couple of mentions of the paranormal. Another review here said that the main character is kind of a twit, and I agree with that. She lashes out at people for the slightest offense (if they even are offenses), and she's overbearingly protective of her younger brother. Her permanent tenant at the inn she runs is also annoying and smarmy. I liked the cat the most.

[Kathy Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This spooky story is about a woman who will do anything to care for her younger brother. Andrea has been in charge of her younger brother Jim since their parents' deaths when Andrea was 19 and Jim was 7. The parents left nothing and it has been a major struggle for Andrea. She became hyper-focused on creating a good life for them. When Jim is in a car accident and almost dies, Andrea pulls him back. Then she throws herself into turning an old house that she inherited from a great aunt into a bed and breakfast.

Andrea is so focused and single-minded that she refuses to acknowledge that the house has a presence that may not be good for either of them. She finds the previous owner, Mary Fairfax, to be a sort of role model for her as she was a widowed woman with a child who was determined to have a business and succeed in a time when Victorian ladies didn't do that sort of thing. Jim becomes obsessed with Mary's daughter Alice.

Martin Greenspan becomes a long term boarder at the B & B. He's a reporter who is writing a book. He also holds completely opposite political views from Andrea. He successfully befriends Jim and falls in love with Andrea. Andrea keeps him at arm's length because of her own obsessions with success and keeping Jim happy.

The story was spooky and just a little dated. It was written in 1983 in a time before cell phones and the internet. My first real clue to the age of this story was the number of people who were smoking. I have to say that I didn't like Andrea very much. She was so rigid and focused and blind to anything that didn't fit into her worldview.

If you are looking for a story that is spooky but with out graphic violence, this is the one for you.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this for the first time as a teenager, and it was one of the rare Barbara Michaels books that I didn't like and never reread.

I decided to read it again, and I'm still not sure how I feel. The ending still makes me unutterably sad, which is why I didn't like it the first time around. But as an adult reading it, I'm still not entirely certain what the message behind that ending is. I thought it was a kind of ableist refutation of living without a limb when I was a teenager, and I was clearly wrong about Michaels' intent back then. There is an interesting treatise on what selfishly loving someone means in here somewhere. But dammit, Andrea was right to try to keep her brother alive. She may have been selfish in how she wanted him to live his life, but she was not selfish in wanting him to live. I still can't tell if the book was condemning Andrea (and the ghost's) selfishness in wanting a specific life from her child, or in wanting to keep someone alive who was supposed to die. One is not okay. The other is.

Anyway, this book keeps me thinking and thinking and thinking, and for that I have to thank the author. She's a favorite for a reason. Even when I don't care for the story, it gives me plenty to chew on.

[Tanya · Rating 2 out of 5]

I haven't read many books by Barbara Michaels, but I have read a couple I remember. They were ghost stories, that kept you up, made you keep on reading until the end of the book.

This wasn't so much like that. I didn't care for the story. The main character, is controlling, rather selfish, and although hard working is over protective of her brother, a man that is very capable to do many things even with an injury.

I never could get to a point where I cared about any of the characters, whether they lived or died, or found someone to love. I was glad to finish the book, and I am actually surprised I did.

I don't think I would recommend it to anyone that had never read a Barbara Michaels, and if they had I would say skip it and pick up an old favorite.

[Barrymore Tebbs · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yet another rehash of the formula Michaels developed in Ammie, Come Home (1968) but by 1983 (when this was written) Michaels' writing had become lazy. It has its moments of supernatural hijinx but they are few and far between. Other than Jim, most of the characters are stupid and/or unlikeable - and not in a good way. Most of it reads like it was written by an elderly woman completely out of touch with the changing world around her but trying to be somewhat hip/relevant. Her attempts at humor fail miserably. I think at this point in her career the author was fulfilling contract obligations and her heart wasn't in the story.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story was great, however I have to say I didn't care much for Andrea, the protagonist. Although I know it was critical to the plot, her smothering of her brother, Jim drove me mad.
I don't think I would call this a terrifying tale of ghosts, but the creep factor is there for sure.
The story drug on a bit. There were things I felt could have been left out without any cause of interrupt in the story.
Although I am a bit critical of this book, I still enjoyed it. The ending tugged at my heart a bit in the romantic sense. I'll definitely be reading more of Barbara Michaels.

[Ygraine]

started in the bath, finished over the course of an afternoon w nothing else to do. am enjoying the experience of reading like a convalescing child, which is how it's often felt over the last few years, brief moments of focus that lapse into months of fatigue and then the period of coddling and coaxing myself into being interested again, simple fare to get my strength back with just enough flavour to keep my spirits up.

[Karen Jones · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe my taste in books has changed. I read this along with a lot of other Barbara Michaels books when I was younger and I loved it. I just finished rereading it, and I'm disappointed. I loved the let's fix up the old family home which might have a ghost or 2 plotline but not much else.

[Busy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If this had been the first Barbara Micheals book that I had ever read, I would never pick up another one of her books.

Andrea's sole focus to take care of her little brother Jim, with who she is very obsessed. At one point she comments that she hopes that a psychotherapist does not jump to the wrong conclusions about her and her brother's relationship.... and that tells you everything you need to know. She will not let Jim have his own life at college, hates all of his friends, and low key actively tries to keep her to himself. There was a romantic lead for Andrea, whom she did not deserve, but did appreciate that their love story is born more out of finding comfort in a person to grow old with than full burning passion. I was not a big fan of Andrea, the female lead. She was literally the worst, and the only reason I tolerated her was because I was sure that the end would be amazing and make the book worth it... the ending was very underwhelming, to say the least. Please do not worry about reading an ending spoiler on any of these book reviews because even after reading 300+ pages, I am still confused as to what actually happened in the ending. I will say that I love the way Barbara Micheals writes an everyday life, and that was probably the second biggest reason I continued reading. The way the story progressed was rather lovely, but the ending was insufficient.

All in all I would not recommend this book unless you are a Barbara Micheals stan and must read everything that she has ever produced. While I have three more of her books in my TBR (I loved "The Crying Child" that much that it made me an instant Barbara Micheals fan), I will not be binging them as planned, and will instead read a book in between each. My goal for March was to read a book a week, and it was unfortunate that I started at such a low point, but the only way from here is up! *knock on wood*

[Marilyn Fontane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here I Stay by Barbara Michaels (Elizabeth Peters) is certainly not up to the standard set by the novels published under the name Elizabeth Peters--although I had heard many people claim the Barbara Michaels novels are good too. (I probably just accidentally picked two poor ones).
The protagonist, Andrea Torgesen, is a smothering middle aged woman who is not letting her handicapped brother, Jim, live his own life. He lets her dominate him, using only sarcasm and absence to affirm himself. Both are unlikeable creatures. To support her brother after his accident, Andrea, who has inherited a huge decrepit Victorian mansion, works like a slave to restore the house and start a bed and bath. She succeeds by working so hard she doesn't see what is happening around her. For some totally incomprehensible reason a perfectly nice guy, Martin Greenspan, not only falls in love with Andrea, but likes Jim well enough to turn him into the son he was alienated from by his ex-wife.
In the meantime hints of ghostly activity surface in the charming Victorian mansion. A hundred years earlier, another woman, Mary Broadhurst, had turned the house into a boarding house to support (and suffocate) her daughter, Alice Fairfax. Her cat, Belizabub, has turned into the current house cat, Satan. Jim starts acting like Alice. And the two smothering women Andrea and Mary act alike. The plot is fairy entertaining if you like ghost stories that aren't particularly scary, but the characters are the true monsters--the ones you presumably are supposed to like, not the weak villains.

[Amy Bird · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Kind of a mediocre haunted house story, not very suspenseful or spooky. I would say the ending was anticlimactic, but really it was just as meh as the rest of the story. The character development was pretty good, but I think the story dragged out too long because by the end I found it hard to really care about any of them.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main character is a rude, cranky, self-centered jerk whose concern for her younger brother is unhealthy. And she calls him “darling”? Ewww. The conversations were difficult to follow and I was often confused about who was speaking. Seems to be due to improper punctuation and paragraphing. The only reason it gets a 2 is because I finished reading it.

[Cindy Cheng · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story populated with realistic characters placed in an old house with an unhappy history. Not really a ghost story, I don't know how to categorize this. But, it was a great read by the author of "Ammie Come Home." Highly recommend it.

[Meagan · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the most ridiculous book I've read this year. The main character spends the entire book denying ghosts and then, in the critical moment where her beloved brother is in danger, she just decides to accept it and finds peace. I HATED this book.

[Thompson615 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, I’m giving up. I just can’t handle the main character. She’s rigid and judgmental and under the guise of taking care of her brother is a so self absorbed that I wanna smack her.

This goes on the DNF list.

[Erica Warner · Rating 1 out of 5]

Rating: 2/10

It took so long to get to any parts of the plot. I got to chapter 3/4 before I started skimming it. It sounded like it’d be a really good book by the synopsis but honestly it wasn’t all that great. Wouldn’t really recommend it.

[Becky Villareal · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good read

This is another if Barbara Michaels books that held my interest until the end. A young woman setting up a bed and breakfast has unusual experiences in the old Victorian house. With the help of her brother and a roomer named Martin, she is able to untangle the mystery of the house. Even though it was a good read, it ended a bit abruptly with a few unresolved issues.

[john appleby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional

I really loved this book. I read Barbara Michael's 30 years ago, and I am enjoying her books all over again. The characters were full bodied and kept me in suspense right along. I hope the next one I read will be as good.

[Lyssa Sue Shaffer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Uncomfortable

It is rare for me to not love a Barbara Michaels novel. But this one falls outside my comfort zone. I could root for the heroine. Nor could I love the hero. There was no one who wasn't broken.