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Whatever the Cost #1
Whatever the Cost
Liam and Jacen are roommates–and elite prostitutes working for a secret organization, The Company. They spend their lives making fantasies come true for spoiled, dangerous clients. In the midst of daily risk of emotional and physical damage, their friendship has been an island of sanity and safety. When The Company orders them to do a job together requiring them to cross the no-sex boundary that has kept them friends, Liam and Jacen must examine how they really feel about each other, and how far they are truly willing to go. Is this the life they want? Used to offering up their bodies without protest to the mercurial whims of others while fiercely guarding their hearts, the true meaning of love and consent is a challenge neither has ever faced before. (M/M - For content labels and excerpt, see details on publisher's site.)
Novel (120,000 words)
Genre(s): Contemporary, Romance, BDSM
Novel (120,000 words)
Genre(s): Contemporary, Romance, BDSM
356 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 17, 2012
15 people are currently reading
945 people want to read
About the author
Lynn Kelling
29 books390 followersLynn Kelling began writing in order to tell stories that aren’t afraid of the dark, don’t hold anything back and always strive to be memorable, forging lasting attachments between character and reader. Her inspiration comes from taking a closer look at behaviors and ideas lurking at the fringes of life—basically anything that people may hesitate to speak of in mixed company, but everyone wonders about anyway. Her work is driven by the taboo in order to expose the humanity within it. Lynn is an artist, designer and lover of any form of creative self-expression that comes from a place of honesty and emotion, whether it's body art or opera. She has had multiple novels published, has written over fifty works of erotic fiction of varying lengths, and always has several novels in progress.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 104 reviews
August 7, 2016
Hello Readers,let us meet with the hero of this story.
Who is he?
He is William,Will,Lee,....
He is also Liam.
He is also she.Her name...Leah.
Did I lose you at this point??
Fits,as I have lost myself too.
I have lost myself in the sheer brilliance of all these very different,beautiful,jagged personas coming together to form one very complex man.
The man named AVERY!!
Now meet with Jacen (Travis)--
He is the one who can see behind all those facades of Liam and expose who he really is.Only he can put together the pieces to bring out Avery.
But he carries his own baggage.And he has his personal nightmares and demons.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Now Readers,they are beautiful,aren't they?
Well,they have to be.As they are male escorts.Two very highly paid male escorts.
The story starts with William pleasing a client of his.As always he does a very good job.After the job Liam returns home.
Jacen and Liam are best friends.And they share a house.Their relationship being purely non-sexual.But Liam has let no one except Jacen in,to an extent.And Jacen...he wants Liam.He would do anything for him.It kills him to see Liam with another client.But there's nothing he can do.
"I am really glad he was nice to you.You deserve that.If it was me,I'd bring you champagne and caviar every day,for breakfast and everything."
With that,Jacen's gone...Liam is left blinking,reeling slightly at the comment....How dare you,Jacen?How dare you just fucking say that to me?"
So Readers,slowly they will evolve from being escorts who sell themselves for money...to two beautiful but damaged souls trying to anchor themselves in this world.And then suddenly you will realize that they have stolen your hearts!!
And then everything changes when a very important client of Jacen wants to see him with another man and the agency they work for chooses Liam.
It changes their relationship and forces them to acknowledge what they feel for one another.They are forced to acknowledge their LOVE for one another.
And so they take a chance.They take a chance on FRIENDSHIP.They take a chance on LOVE.
With their fragile,blossoming love in their hands....they leave all this behind.
They take a chance on LIFE.
OLD DREAMS FIND A NEW LIFE.
Now,they have to open themselves completely to each other.But will it be easy for them who thrive in hiding behind facades?Will it be easy for them when they are afraid to love for the fear of being torn apart?
No.It won't be.
"Bad things have always happened to him when he's let a loved one in too deeply:hearts get broken,lives are ruined,and happiness is obliterated."
And yes...bad things do happen again.Bad things which nearly tear them apart.
"Liam says,"Y-you should've listened to me when I asked you to slow down.With everything.A-all..." He sighs shakily."All of this.It's too much.It's too much for me,and you should've waited until you had my permission.You didn't wait.You just took.Just like they do.Just like they've always done.You took from me the only thing I had to keep me sane.You knew I wasn't ready and you took it anyway."
With a hand clapped tightly over his mouth,muffling a moan of pure horror,Jacen shatters into a million pieces."
But this time they do not run away from each other.They run towards each other.They somehow manage to hold on.
But some wounds are too deep to be healed.....
"Lemme go.I'm disgusting."
.....by anything except LOVE!
"You are... so beautiful," Jacen hisses,destroyed by his lover's exquisiteness."Anything for you.Anything for you."
And the last barrier between them breaks when Jacen says--
"I love you,Leah."
AND WITH THIS HE SETS LEAH/LIAM FREE.
And for the first time they find pure,undiluted happiness together.
But life's nothing if not unfair.For them happiness,no matter how acute,is the fantasy,the silly dream,bought and paid for dearly.
They have to go through hell....again.They nearly lose each other....again.
""I thought I lost you today." And despite his weariness,for hours Jacen fights to stay awake,savoring the rhythmic breaths of the man in his arms,swearing to God,the universe,and himself that he would do everything in his power to keep him safe."
And somehow after all this...they are REBORN.They are stronger for their struggles.
-----------------------------------------------------------
So Readers,what did I learn??
I learnt to CHOOSE life.
"Thank you for coming with me.Thank you for trusting me."
A tear slides down Travis's cheek and Avery brushes it away.
"I love you."
Goodbye Readers!!That's all for now!!
October 20, 2012
Two very damaged, broken and highly complex men - their childhood innocence destroyed through devastatingly sad circumstances at the callous hands of others. Circumstances which have led them into a life of Prostitution.
3 - 3.5 stars
They are driven by money - short term goals seen as long term investments...but at what cost? Highly paid professional escorts working for an agency that goes by the name of "The Company" and after signing a ten year contract, they own you - you are theirs to do with as they please..and refusing, would be futile!
Liam has a dark past full of shadows, which define what and who he is - a control freak! Losing control for Liam, would be like losing himself, he has divided his life into two compartments - his job, where he can freely express himself, where his own wants and needs are appeased and the other compartment, takes care of his simple pleasures in life, nice clothes, nice home and plenty of money.... and never can the two mix or combine!
What is most interesting about Liam is his multifaceted character, made up of several personas, all of which are an extension of his sexuality, each one a creation that can be appreciated by his clients, much like an actor preparing for the stage he needs to become that person.
Jacen, is straight! He occasionally has male clients, but as part of the job only - a skill he had to learn from his only close friend Yasha. Jacen also has a dark and murky past buried deep inside, which has left him vulnerable and fragile, a big softy who wears his heart on his sleeve, and.... he is extremely overprotective of the man that holds his heart. Liam. Who has no relationships or sex with anyone, other than work. He has no feelings for anyone, kissing, oh no. Never!...and love! That is not a requirement for happiness.
This book was recommended to me and it really ticked all the boxes. Two tortured souls, sex industry, bad guys and a bit of action, as well as some heavy smut along the way...it was all good! The book started with some great descriptive writing, I was treated to an intense and evocative description of Liam, that was deliciously enticing and left me with my tongue hanging out and panting (apparently dogs do it to cool down, so I thought I would give it a go)! He was meeting Tucker his client, a great character with some very entertaining inner musings and the sex scene.....well. More panting!
The book is written in the third person, the only character we had a bit of inner musings with was Tucker! I would have loved for this to have been used as the format for the whole of the book, to really get to know the characters more. I felt as though I was being told a story, rather than being in there with them, connecting with them on an emotional level! I also felt the situation with "the Company" could have played a bigger part in the book.
The first half of the book I loved, the development of the relationship, their escape, Liams confusion over control - trying hard to delve through the personas to find himself, the evolution of Leah and Jacens attraction to her and his total and utter devotion to Liam. The emotion and turmoil they go through learning to make love with someone they love - and not just have sex was well done, considering they were both employed in the sex industry! However, the dynamics in this relationship were constantly shifting from one to the other, leaving a lot of drama in it wake and somewhere in the middle of the book it became cluttered with it. Thankfully it redeemed itself again towards the end and the sex between our two MC's was HOT...more panting!
For more reviews visit Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews
3 - 3.5 stars
They are driven by money - short term goals seen as long term investments...but at what cost? Highly paid professional escorts working for an agency that goes by the name of "The Company" and after signing a ten year contract, they own you - you are theirs to do with as they please..and refusing, would be futile!
Liam has a dark past full of shadows, which define what and who he is - a control freak! Losing control for Liam, would be like losing himself, he has divided his life into two compartments - his job, where he can freely express himself, where his own wants and needs are appeased and the other compartment, takes care of his simple pleasures in life, nice clothes, nice home and plenty of money.... and never can the two mix or combine!
What is most interesting about Liam is his multifaceted character, made up of several personas, all of which are an extension of his sexuality, each one a creation that can be appreciated by his clients, much like an actor preparing for the stage he needs to become that person.
Jacen, is straight! He occasionally has male clients, but as part of the job only - a skill he had to learn from his only close friend Yasha. Jacen also has a dark and murky past buried deep inside, which has left him vulnerable and fragile, a big softy who wears his heart on his sleeve, and.... he is extremely overprotective of the man that holds his heart. Liam. Who has no relationships or sex with anyone, other than work. He has no feelings for anyone, kissing, oh no. Never!...and love! That is not a requirement for happiness.
This book was recommended to me and it really ticked all the boxes. Two tortured souls, sex industry, bad guys and a bit of action, as well as some heavy smut along the way...it was all good! The book started with some great descriptive writing, I was treated to an intense and evocative description of Liam, that was deliciously enticing and left me with my tongue hanging out and panting (apparently dogs do it to cool down, so I thought I would give it a go)! He was meeting Tucker his client, a great character with some very entertaining inner musings and the sex scene.....well. More panting!
The book is written in the third person, the only character we had a bit of inner musings with was Tucker! I would have loved for this to have been used as the format for the whole of the book, to really get to know the characters more. I felt as though I was being told a story, rather than being in there with them, connecting with them on an emotional level! I also felt the situation with "the Company" could have played a bigger part in the book.
The first half of the book I loved, the development of the relationship, their escape, Liams confusion over control - trying hard to delve through the personas to find himself, the evolution of Leah and Jacens attraction to her and his total and utter devotion to Liam. The emotion and turmoil they go through learning to make love with someone they love - and not just have sex was well done, considering they were both employed in the sex industry! However, the dynamics in this relationship were constantly shifting from one to the other, leaving a lot of drama in it wake and somewhere in the middle of the book it became cluttered with it. Thankfully it redeemed itself again towards the end and the sex between our two MC's was HOT...more panting!
For more reviews visit Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews
May 24, 2012
4.5 Stars
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Liam and Jacen are responsible for me developing a kilt and boots kink. I can't stop thinking about it, this is very upsetting... Half a star off for head hopping I sometimes found difficult to get used to. Otherwise, drama everywhere, characters that demand attention, a couple of comfort zone teases,volcanic, deliciously filthy and highly entertaining. I enjoyed this way too much to be considered healthy. Now I need to look for more kilts and boots pics, the shorter the kilt the better.
Ah, yes. There are the boots. :D
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Liam and Jacen are responsible for me developing a kilt and boots kink. I can't stop thinking about it, this is very upsetting... Half a star off for head hopping I sometimes found difficult to get used to. Otherwise, drama everywhere, characters that demand attention, a couple of comfort zone teases,volcanic, deliciously filthy and highly entertaining. I enjoyed this way too much to be considered healthy. Now I need to look for more kilts and boots pics, the shorter the kilt the better.
Ah, yes. There are the boots. :D
November 8, 2016
3.5 Stars!
This one was just okay for me.
It was too long. And too slow. And the MCs had too many issues. Liam's issues had issues.
And the writing tense - whatever it was - was not one I prefer.
It wasn't all bad. Maybe just a bit too heavy for my personal preference. Not enough romance.
This one was just okay for me.
It was too long. And too slow. And the MCs had too many issues. Liam's issues had issues.
And the writing tense - whatever it was - was not one I prefer.
It wasn't all bad. Maybe just a bit too heavy for my personal preference. Not enough romance.
Read
May 19, 2013DNF at 36%
I’m quitting when the story is picking up and to be honest, is getting better but I have no motivation to read it anymore. I’ll just explain shortly why.
The author’s got an interesting story arc, her characters are lovable, hot, sweet and damaged but I don’t like the execution that I find inconstant.
I’ll overlook several oddities and give only one example :
If I understood correctly, Liam protects himself by distancing himself during the sex sessions : he builds personas, fantasies that allow him not to be there, that make it all a little less unbearable. Then, I didn’t need the first scene to titillate my possible cow-boy kink and I didn’t need to be in the client’s head and enjoy the ride : either we’re playing with a rentboy kink and I jump happily into the fantasy, or we’re dealing with a damaged character I’m supposed to feel empathy for and it doesn’t help building the angst. It’s the first scene of the book.
What I mean by inconstancy is that the author gives clues about the kind of story she’s writing and about her characters but sometimes, the interactions are counter-examples and/or counter-productive.
Don’t think that it’s always like that, it is not. My friends tell me that the story picks up, that it gets better and that they loved the characters. I believe them, I can see the potential but the beginning and the first 25% rubbed me the wrong way. It’s probably my own fault for not being in the mood to be patient and indulgent and being picky and grumpy but I didn’t build any motivation for this story.
I’m looking at my Kindle, I see that I still have 64% to read and I’m huffing and puffing. It doesn’t make sense to keep on reading.
I’m quitting when the story is picking up and to be honest, is getting better but I have no motivation to read it anymore. I’ll just explain shortly why.
The author’s got an interesting story arc, her characters are lovable, hot, sweet and damaged but I don’t like the execution that I find inconstant.
I’ll overlook several oddities and give only one example :
If I understood correctly, Liam protects himself by distancing himself during the sex sessions : he builds personas, fantasies that allow him not to be there, that make it all a little less unbearable. Then, I didn’t need the first scene to titillate my possible cow-boy kink and I didn’t need to be in the client’s head and enjoy the ride : either we’re playing with a rentboy kink and I jump happily into the fantasy, or we’re dealing with a damaged character I’m supposed to feel empathy for and it doesn’t help building the angst. It’s the first scene of the book.
What I mean by inconstancy is that the author gives clues about the kind of story she’s writing and about her characters but sometimes, the interactions are counter-examples and/or counter-productive.
Don’t think that it’s always like that, it is not. My friends tell me that the story picks up, that it gets better and that they loved the characters. I believe them, I can see the potential but the beginning and the first 25% rubbed me the wrong way. It’s probably my own fault for not being in the mood to be patient and indulgent and being picky and grumpy but I didn’t build any motivation for this story.
I’m looking at my Kindle, I see that I still have 64% to read and I’m huffing and puffing. It doesn’t make sense to keep on reading.
October 16, 2012
To all my friends who have read this book so that it came to my attention, Thank You from the bottom of my little bookworm heart.
I gave up sleeping last night so that I could finish this, and now, the next morning, I still can't think of what to write in this review.
Instead I will just say that I loved this story. I loved the characters. I wish it had lasted for longer. I will be reading this again, probably many times. This story broke my heart and then healed it again. The love and acceptance between these characters made my heart feel lighter, and that is the work of a great book.
I gave up sleeping last night so that I could finish this, and now, the next morning, I still can't think of what to write in this review.
Instead I will just say that I loved this story. I loved the characters. I wish it had lasted for longer. I will be reading this again, probably many times. This story broke my heart and then healed it again. The love and acceptance between these characters made my heart feel lighter, and that is the work of a great book.
September 10, 2012
I really, really enjoyed this book! I didn't know what to expect because none of my "circle of trust" on GR had reviewed it! Maybe that was a GOOD thing...because I was so pleasantly surprised.
The writing itself is not the best, to be honest. There were alternating POV's in the middle of paragraphs and I caught myself confused by the flow at times.
BUT, the characters and their backstories were so compelling that I was so drawn to what I hoped would be their happy ending! Avery/William/Liam/Lee/Leah (this will make sense once you read the book) and Travis/Jacen were complex, broken, sometimes hopeless characters who you were rooting for to break free from their past hurts and their current "prisons" as male prostitutes. The book was at times painful to read, soothing at other times, triumphant at others. Satisfying at all.
The author puts the book into great perspective in her "Author's Notes" at the end:
This book is dedicated to everyone out there that can relate to any of the horrors that the characters in this story endured, whether it is abuse, terminal illness, loneliness, hopelessness, homelessness or the things that those inflictions drive us to do out of self preservation or for the sake of those we love. Be steadfast in your own journeys, pay the price that fate demands and use trust to guide you...the only way out is through.
That is the best dedication is actually the best description of the book in a nutshell.
Highly recommended...
May 21, 2012
4,5 stars
This book is a contribution to climate warming or how a huge bundle of pet peeves made one big "LOVED IT"!
I started this book thinking it would be BDSM themed but it wasn`t. It`s written in present tense with alternating POV`s. Very GAY characters and dramaqueeny-ness galore - Greta Garbo would have been proud of Liam...
Lots of inner musings and some of them really made me roll my eyes...
Some girlie bits - the MCs are/were escorts for both men and women - in the first half of the book.
A story about two men trying to escape their pasts as escorts for a dubious company, getting married and building up a new life with help from new and old friends despite their emotionally messed up personalities...should have bored me to tears with all the analytic psychological stuff but didn`t...
I absolutely adored the secondary characters Yasha and Valery - a straight married couple in an open relationship. Especially Valery...it was a joy to read about a woman in a m/m romance portrayed like that!
Kinky and HOT sex scenes, crossdressing and dubious content that may not be to everyones taste...
Loved it to pieces but don`t ask me why.
This book is a contribution to climate warming or how a huge bundle of pet peeves made one big "LOVED IT"!
I started this book thinking it would be BDSM themed but it wasn`t. It`s written in present tense with alternating POV`s. Very GAY characters and dramaqueeny-ness galore - Greta Garbo would have been proud of Liam...
Lots of inner musings and some of them really made me roll my eyes...
Some girlie bits - the MCs are/were escorts for both men and women - in the first half of the book.
A story about two men trying to escape their pasts as escorts for a dubious company, getting married and building up a new life with help from new and old friends despite their emotionally messed up personalities...should have bored me to tears with all the analytic psychological stuff but didn`t...
I absolutely adored the secondary characters Yasha and Valery - a straight married couple in an open relationship. Especially Valery...it was a joy to read about a woman in a m/m romance portrayed like that!
Kinky and HOT sex scenes, crossdressing and dubious content that may not be to everyones taste...
Loved it to pieces but don`t ask me why.
January 25, 2013
I am such a sucker for rent boy stories. This one grabbed me right from the get go, and I couldn't believe it took me so long to start it.
Initially, Liam and Jacen are roommates both locked into 10 year contracts with the same high-end escort company. They take care of each other before and after jobs and become best friends. Jacen is the closest anyone has come to getting past Liam's self-imposed walls. After a few bad client experiences and a "request" that they perform together for the same client in order to keep Jacen away from one of his really bad clients, they become more involved. Both struggle to keep the personal sides of sex separate from their professional sides. This does not go particularly well, but they continue pressing onward. After Jacen is forced to attend to a client he had previous issues with, Liam convinces Jacen it is time for them to run and live for themselves.
Liam and Jacen struggle some more to set up a new life together out of reach of The Company. At this point, we really begin to learn about the mental issues and emotional baggage these two each carry. They each try to understand and adjust to each other, but it is a rough road. Jacen is coming out of his shell as his eyes are opened to new opportunities and dreams, while Liam sinks farther into his. Things are drawn out, there is, of course, communication problems, as well as the many emotional roadblocks they must each break through.
Just when things are starting to fall into place, The Company finds them. This sends things spiraling again, and they must find ways to pick themselves back up and move on. Although Yasha, and I believe Valery, had some therapy background, it really struck me as odd that it was never suggested that either Jacen or Liam really needed it or that it could help them get over some of their bigger issues.
There are a few characters that help the boys out along the way, first being Yasha, an ex-hooker himself, and his wife Valery, then Clay, Liam's foster brother, and Joe and Lily, Jacen's Bistro employers. They each play a role in helping the boys as best they can to establish new lives and identities.
So, to wrap this up, I really enjoyed it. The sex scenes were hot, and it was interesting to watch Liam turn from William, to Lee, to Leah, etc. Jacen was wonderfully accepting of Liam and his personas, and I never doubted that Liam was all Jacen really cared about.
The point of view changes didn't really bother me too much. It did take a little getting used to the style, as every once in a while, it would read as though it was being narrated by someone else. Either way, I recommend this to anyone looking for a decent rent boy fix.
Initially, Liam and Jacen are roommates both locked into 10 year contracts with the same high-end escort company. They take care of each other before and after jobs and become best friends. Jacen is the closest anyone has come to getting past Liam's self-imposed walls. After a few bad client experiences and a "request" that they perform together for the same client in order to keep Jacen away from one of his really bad clients, they become more involved. Both struggle to keep the personal sides of sex separate from their professional sides. This does not go particularly well, but they continue pressing onward. After Jacen is forced to attend to a client he had previous issues with, Liam convinces Jacen it is time for them to run and live for themselves.
Liam and Jacen struggle some more to set up a new life together out of reach of The Company. At this point, we really begin to learn about the mental issues and emotional baggage these two each carry. They each try to understand and adjust to each other, but it is a rough road. Jacen is coming out of his shell as his eyes are opened to new opportunities and dreams, while Liam sinks farther into his. Things are drawn out, there is, of course, communication problems, as well as the many emotional roadblocks they must each break through.
Just when things are starting to fall into place, The Company finds them. This sends things spiraling again, and they must find ways to pick themselves back up and move on. Although Yasha, and I believe Valery, had some therapy background, it really struck me as odd that it was never suggested that either Jacen or Liam really needed it or that it could help them get over some of their bigger issues.
There are a few characters that help the boys out along the way, first being Yasha, an ex-hooker himself, and his wife Valery, then Clay, Liam's foster brother, and Joe and Lily, Jacen's Bistro employers. They each play a role in helping the boys as best they can to establish new lives and identities.
So, to wrap this up, I really enjoyed it. The sex scenes were hot, and it was interesting to watch Liam turn from William, to Lee, to Leah, etc. Jacen was wonderfully accepting of Liam and his personas, and I never doubted that Liam was all Jacen really cared about.
The point of view changes didn't really bother me too much. It did take a little getting used to the style, as every once in a while, it would read as though it was being narrated by someone else. Either way, I recommend this to anyone looking for a decent rent boy fix.
April 7, 2013
Loved this book. The two MC's were so broken but adorable because they really looked out for one another. 4.5 stars
The subject matter of the book was not a pleasant one....high-class male prostitutes working for an organisation called 'The Company'. Liam and Jacen, or should I say Travis and Avery or any one of a plethora of names they seemed to use...especially Liam, worked for The Company. They were looked after, paid well, they lived in Company lodgings and were hired out to whomever wanted to pay, and pay very well for their services. Liam catered exclusively to male clients and Jacen had gradually become bi-sexual, so didn't mind men or women....but the one thing they were both fed up of was being hired out to 'customers' who were violent and physically abusive.
The two of them shared a house, and after getting each others' backs for several months, decided that they were more to each other than just friends but....they knew that if they decided to take off, The Company would hunt them down. The straw that finally broke the camel's back was Jacen being hurt by one of his clients....they made plans, got everything arranged and left LA one morning without telling a soul, and headed north to San Luis Obispo.
Of course, as the story went on, we got to know a lot more about the two guys' backgrounds. We discovered that Liam (or Will/Avery) had spent his life in foster homes and had discovered he was gay when he fell in love with one of his fellow throwaways Timothy. Timothy took to turning tricks to get them what they needed, and yes you've guessed it, caught AIDS....and then it was Liam's turn to do the same in order to get the meds that Timothy desperately required, which ultimately didn't work. So in order to get through the day, Liam became a different character....twink, punk, trannie.... whatever it took to help him rationalise his existence.
Jacen, on the other hand, had been abused from an early age by a neighbour who, as they nearly always do, had kept Jacen exactly where he wanted him by threatening to go after Jacen's younger brother if he ever told anyone what was happening. Of course, something else occurred to change this situation, but you'll have to read the book and discover that for yourself.
So, we have a story of two desperately needy, complex and broken men. What happens when they move north, you definitely need to read about...the really good friends they make, and the old ones they hook up with, Liam's plans for the future, Jacen's new career, whether The Company ever show their faces again...oh yes, and a wedding!!
The back-story was so compelling that I would have read the book for that alone, but the main and secondary characters were so well thought out, and so likeable that it made reading the book a pleasure. I do have one little niggle with book however, and that was the writing style, and the fact that everything was in the present tense. Strange!! But I will be looking at some of the author's other work.
December 29, 2014
Ok., the cover hooked me... I fell hard in love with Jacen at the git-go. Man, what a complicated relationship Liam and Jacen have. They are high-class call boys, room-mates, friends, and are secretly in love with each other. Their work compounds issues from their respective childhoods -- exploitation, abuse, terror and neglect. These two men seem doomed from the start but they find something in each other that helps to reconnect them with their humanity as they attempt to rebuild their lives and their souls. It's not all about seeking redemption -- there's also the hot kink and sexual obsession...and Leah, a different kind of secondary character. Oh, there’s a LOT of angst and drama in this read but it works given the circumstances. The often-changing POV’s do get in the way but I was so rooting for these two guys. Ms. Kelling delivers on that yummy cover by writing some really compelling characters. Rating: 4.5 stars rounded up for the hotness.
Read
October 13, 2016Lo voy a dejar sin valorar porque no he entendido el planteamiento en absoluto, ni tampoco a los MC...
Horribles cambios de narrador, aviso avisó a navegantes.
Horribles cambios de narrador, aviso avisó a navegantes.
November 7, 2015
This book ticked all my boxes. Two broken down main characters trying to pull themselves out of the lives they hate just to find that falling in love presents a whole new batch of unforeseen difficulties. I noticed there are BDSM tags for this book, but other than one bondage scene it is not a BDSM book.
Jacen and Liam have both lived difficult lives and have suffered at the hands of others. Roommates working for The Company as male prostitutes, their friendship seems to be the one thing anchoring them. They look out for each other and make sure the other is as safe as can be. Both harbor unspoken feelings for the other. Finally after Jacen is assaulted and Liam is forced to be a third with Jacen and his client, Liam finally breaks and the two men decide to get out and start a new life together.
The book is told in the third person with alternating points of view. It was a little awkward to read at first, but I quickly fell in to the rhythm of it. Liam is such a fascinating character. He has created so many different personas to deal with the outside world and his clients, that he has a tough time knowing just who he really is once he puts them all aside. He is devoted to Jacen and to keeping them safe and away from The Company, but he has a hard time dealing with these new feelings and is slowly withdrawing into himself. Jacen is optimistic and will do anything for Liam, but even he has some trouble with the new dynamics of their life and mistakes one night lead to some hard consequences for the two.
The supporting characters were well written and Yasha (the man who got Jacen into The Company) and Val are an interesting couple. This book hooked me from page one and I cared so much about these two men being able to establish their life together. It was not always an easy read, but it was definitely worth it.
Jacen and Liam have both lived difficult lives and have suffered at the hands of others. Roommates working for The Company as male prostitutes, their friendship seems to be the one thing anchoring them. They look out for each other and make sure the other is as safe as can be. Both harbor unspoken feelings for the other. Finally after Jacen is assaulted and Liam is forced to be a third with Jacen and his client, Liam finally breaks and the two men decide to get out and start a new life together.
The book is told in the third person with alternating points of view. It was a little awkward to read at first, but I quickly fell in to the rhythm of it. Liam is such a fascinating character. He has created so many different personas to deal with the outside world and his clients, that he has a tough time knowing just who he really is once he puts them all aside. He is devoted to Jacen and to keeping them safe and away from The Company, but he has a hard time dealing with these new feelings and is slowly withdrawing into himself. Jacen is optimistic and will do anything for Liam, but even he has some trouble with the new dynamics of their life and mistakes one night lead to some hard consequences for the two.
The supporting characters were well written and Yasha (the man who got Jacen into The Company) and Val are an interesting couple. This book hooked me from page one and I cared so much about these two men being able to establish their life together. It was not always an easy read, but it was definitely worth it.
February 1, 2013
The reviews about how dark and angsty this book is are kinda scaring me off.
(unashamed fluff reader)
----------------------------------
I had every right to be scared. This book is very much brutal and dark, and so are the characters. Yet somehow, amidst all that darkness and crap, a truly beautiful, tangible relationship managed to bloom.
This is a book about every angsty, heart wrenching emotion you can probably name; despair, trauma, pain, fear. But it's also about new beginnings, overcoming those things and rebirth, as Lynn Kelling so aptly puts it.
This is a pretty fucked up book, with twisted emotions and characters in a very much I'll-fuck-you-over-twice-no-make-that-thrice world. And somehow, through all that fucked up shit, a relationship, that'll almost certainly stay with me years after this book, was born.
(unashamed fluff reader)
----------------------------------
I had every right to be scared. This book is very much brutal and dark, and so are the characters. Yet somehow, amidst all that darkness and crap, a truly beautiful, tangible relationship managed to bloom.
This is a book about every angsty, heart wrenching emotion you can probably name; despair, trauma, pain, fear. But it's also about new beginnings, overcoming those things and rebirth, as Lynn Kelling so aptly puts it.
This is a pretty fucked up book, with twisted emotions and characters in a very much I'll-fuck-you-over-twice-no-make-that-thrice world. And somehow, through all that fucked up shit, a relationship, that'll almost certainly stay with me years after this book, was born.
November 25, 2013
Liam
Jacen
Wait.... wait... wait.... wait.... wait for it.....
%-(
here it comes.....
:-S
Did you hear me?
no?!!!!
probably no....
wait again....
oh fuck...
gosh................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
sorry...*blush*
(@ @)
OK. okay i said sorry...
Are you disappointment?
*nodding*
well... I am in shock....
*****
ARE THOSE FIVE STARS?
am i dreaming?? =-='
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WAKE UP? WAKE THE FUCK UP NOW LOLITA....
i can't say but this book is fucking amazing....
December 21, 2012
3.5 stars. The story of Liam and Jacen. Roommates, prostitutes, troubled souls that fall in love. After having to "perform" together for the first time for a customer, feelings surface between the two men. Things progress, they decide the lives they're living aren't what they want anymore. They pack up the necessities, close bank accounts and run. But the ghosts of their pasts haunt them. They have a lot of work ahead of them hiding from their prostitution ring, coming to terms with the demons that put them into that lifestyle to begin with.
This book started out great. Midway thru it stalled. I was finding myself skimming and only reading dialogue for a good 25% of it. Also, the POV flip flopped throughout one paragraph. I was like "Wait, wasn't Liam just thinking. Now it's Jacen's thoughts." Confusing to say the least.
The bedroom scenes were well developed and hawt!! Probably the best aspect of the book really.
This book started out great. Midway thru it stalled. I was finding myself skimming and only reading dialogue for a good 25% of it. Also, the POV flip flopped throughout one paragraph. I was like "Wait, wasn't Liam just thinking. Now it's Jacen's thoughts." Confusing to say the least.
The bedroom scenes were well developed and hawt!! Probably the best aspect of the book really.
October 7, 2014
2.5 stars
Hmmm, not sure what to say about this one. Very unusual and unique book. On one hand I liked the difference, Liam and Jacen, their stories, on another things bothered me.
1) The present time narration. Don't know why, but it was strange.
2) The way the boys came together. They found out they were in love at the very beginning nearly, and the emotional impact or depth just didn't reach me completely. After the initial getting together I foyund their relationship stagnated, some things were repetitive, etc...The sexy times? Yes, very sexy, everything else, no.
3) Liam and Jacen as characters didn't grow on me. Just no "it" for me. And they seem to cry a lot (don't kill me Em!).
4) The whole Agency business failed to inspire a reaction.
I don't know, I really don't. Thank you, Em, for the recommendation, I'm glad I tried this book, it was just not for me. Look on the bright side: at least this proves we're not literary dopplegangers!
Hmmm, not sure what to say about this one. Very unusual and unique book. On one hand I liked the difference, Liam and Jacen, their stories, on another things bothered me.
1) The present time narration. Don't know why, but it was strange.
2) The way the boys came together. They found out they were in love at the very beginning nearly, and the emotional impact or depth just didn't reach me completely. After the initial getting together I foyund their relationship stagnated, some things were repetitive, etc...The sexy times? Yes, very sexy, everything else, no.
3) Liam and Jacen as characters didn't grow on me. Just no "it" for me. And they seem to cry a lot (don't kill me Em!).
4) The whole Agency business failed to inspire a reaction.
I don't know, I really don't. Thank you, Em, for the recommendation, I'm glad I tried this book, it was just not for me. Look on the bright side: at least this proves we're not literary dopplegangers!
April 17, 2017
4.5 stars. A well-written book told surprisingly in the present tense. Some extremely hot m/m sex scenes in this book. I enjoyed Liam's complex character and his struggle to find his true self.
'Their happiness - his and Jacen's - is not destined to last. Fate is waiting, with fangs and teeth, crouched and ready. They both sense it on some level, hidden in their hearts. It has always been a waiting game.'
'Their happiness - his and Jacen's - is not destined to last. Fate is waiting, with fangs and teeth, crouched and ready. They both sense it on some level, hidden in their hearts. It has always been a waiting game.'
Read
June 16, 2012I don't have a clue how to review or rate this. This book was disturbing on so many levels. Apparently I am in the minority because everyone else apparently loved it.
This is a very long book. It is also by an author I've never read before. The blurb (and the cover) sucked me in right off. The story seemed amazing: Two high-priced male prostitutes who are best friends and roommates. They secretly love each other and they are sexually attracted but they do not act on it for fear of destroying the friendship.
I expected angst with this. I've read the other reviews so I knew going in that it would be there but what I did not expect was it to be THE ENTIRE BOOK. There were literally no happy parts to this story. Sure, Liam and Jacen got their HEA... or I should say HFN because it ends with Liam expressing his doubts yet again... but there are literally no happy moments in this book. None that I saw anyway.
Jacen and Liam work for The Company. Apparently The Company is all big and bad and dangerous. They are each under contract to The Company for several years. One day it is decided (once they finally get together sexually and confess their feelings to each other) that they will run... get away from the prostitution and start all over again together. That part was okay. But the rest was never ending drama. Jacen has issues in his past that he is trying to overcome. Liam has issues in his past that he is still... at the end of the book... trying to overcome. All of that was fine. But this thing is all over the place. Liam's issues go beyond childhood issues. Apparently so do Jacen's. The Company catches up with them in a brutal way. I wasn't expecting what happened to Jacen but I applaud the author for the way she wrote that scene even if it was brutal.
This was almost a DNF for me. I almost stopped at 50% but pushed on. Then again at 63% but pushed on. I finally forced myself to finish it because the other reviews for this book are glowing. So, what did I miss? All I saw were two very disturbed men who had issues that in the real world would require years and years of therapy. Jacen and Liam profess to love each other but they don't communicate. There is another couple in the mix... Val and Yasha... who I could not bring myself to like even a little bit. Jacen has had a sexual relationship with both Val AND Yasha in the past. He shows up at their house after Liam pulls away from him (before the decision is made to run). He hugs Val and "unconsciously" gropes her breast and her ass and gets a hard on before he goes upstairs to see Yasha. Hmm.. okay. Seriously, there was not one thing I liked about either of them.
Liam and Jacen go on the run. They are trying to come up with aliases so that they would not be easy to find by The Company. So, what names do they choose? They change their last names but keep LIAM and JACEN. No, those spellings aren't unusual at all. Jacen, who I did not like from the very beginning, forces himself on Liam at one point knowing that Liam was terrified. Liam, I liked for the most part though he had some seriously major problems. I didn't like Jacen from the get-go.
I hate giving bad reviews... especially for a book that apparently everyone else loves. It makes me feel like I am seriously missing something that others saw. But this seriously did nothing for me. I felt like I was being told a story about two very disturbed individuals. I never felt the story in any way. I expected violence. I expected angst. I knew going into this that both would be there. But I also expected to enjoy the story... even a little bit. I didn't. I had to force myself to get through it.
Another thing: How were Jacen and Liam found? Was it the phone call to Ryan? Did I miss something? I don't believe that was ever explained.
I'm not going to rate this because I won't screw up the author's almost perfect ratings. Bravo to the author for taking a very disturbing subject and making it real. Perhaps that was my problem. It was too real.
This is a very long book. It is also by an author I've never read before. The blurb (and the cover) sucked me in right off. The story seemed amazing: Two high-priced male prostitutes who are best friends and roommates. They secretly love each other and they are sexually attracted but they do not act on it for fear of destroying the friendship.
I expected angst with this. I've read the other reviews so I knew going in that it would be there but what I did not expect was it to be THE ENTIRE BOOK. There were literally no happy parts to this story. Sure, Liam and Jacen got their HEA... or I should say HFN because it ends with Liam expressing his doubts yet again... but there are literally no happy moments in this book. None that I saw anyway.
Jacen and Liam work for The Company. Apparently The Company is all big and bad and dangerous. They are each under contract to The Company for several years. One day it is decided (once they finally get together sexually and confess their feelings to each other) that they will run... get away from the prostitution and start all over again together. That part was okay. But the rest was never ending drama. Jacen has issues in his past that he is trying to overcome. Liam has issues in his past that he is still... at the end of the book... trying to overcome. All of that was fine. But this thing is all over the place. Liam's issues go beyond childhood issues. Apparently so do Jacen's. The Company catches up with them in a brutal way. I wasn't expecting what happened to Jacen but I applaud the author for the way she wrote that scene even if it was brutal.
This was almost a DNF for me. I almost stopped at 50% but pushed on. Then again at 63% but pushed on. I finally forced myself to finish it because the other reviews for this book are glowing. So, what did I miss? All I saw were two very disturbed men who had issues that in the real world would require years and years of therapy. Jacen and Liam profess to love each other but they don't communicate. There is another couple in the mix... Val and Yasha... who I could not bring myself to like even a little bit. Jacen has had a sexual relationship with both Val AND Yasha in the past. He shows up at their house after Liam pulls away from him (before the decision is made to run). He hugs Val and "unconsciously" gropes her breast and her ass and gets a hard on before he goes upstairs to see Yasha. Hmm.. okay. Seriously, there was not one thing I liked about either of them.
Liam and Jacen go on the run. They are trying to come up with aliases so that they would not be easy to find by The Company. So, what names do they choose? They change their last names but keep LIAM and JACEN. No, those spellings aren't unusual at all. Jacen, who I did not like from the very beginning, forces himself on Liam at one point knowing that Liam was terrified. Liam, I liked for the most part though he had some seriously major problems. I didn't like Jacen from the get-go.
I hate giving bad reviews... especially for a book that apparently everyone else loves. It makes me feel like I am seriously missing something that others saw. But this seriously did nothing for me. I felt like I was being told a story about two very disturbed individuals. I never felt the story in any way. I expected violence. I expected angst. I knew going into this that both would be there. But I also expected to enjoy the story... even a little bit. I didn't. I had to force myself to get through it.
Another thing: How were Jacen and Liam found? Was it the phone call to Ryan? Did I miss something? I don't believe that was ever explained.
I'm not going to rate this because I won't screw up the author's almost perfect ratings. Bravo to the author for taking a very disturbing subject and making it real. Perhaps that was my problem. It was too real.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 4, 2013
It is really hard to review this book as it is difficult to put into words the impression it made. I loved it, I hated it, I didn't want to read it, I couldn't put it down.
From the very beginning, this story triggered a very emotional response. I was drawn to both Liam and Jacen. I could feel their pain and desperate need for each other. Told in present tense, the story expressed their fears and desires, both men trying to move beyond tragic pasts to make new lives but struggling to do so. For most of the book I found myself waiting for something bad to happen, hoping it wouldn't but knowing something was just around the corner. The author did not make this a comfortable read.
Jacen is everything to Liam. "Jacen just is. He's the biggest, most constant part of Liam's life. Without Jacen, everything is hollow and ugly. Without Jacen, there is no reason to do anything, to try or strive or hope."
Liam is everything to Jacen. "I have news for you, Lee, I'm not going anywhere. If it takes ten years I'll still be right beside you, waiting for you, and cherishing every second I have with you and every kiss you give me and every time you make love to me."
Thank goodness there is a happy ending as I don't think my heart could have taken any more pain.
4.5 stars
From the very beginning, this story triggered a very emotional response. I was drawn to both Liam and Jacen. I could feel their pain and desperate need for each other. Told in present tense, the story expressed their fears and desires, both men trying to move beyond tragic pasts to make new lives but struggling to do so. For most of the book I found myself waiting for something bad to happen, hoping it wouldn't but knowing something was just around the corner. The author did not make this a comfortable read.
Jacen is everything to Liam. "Jacen just is. He's the biggest, most constant part of Liam's life. Without Jacen, everything is hollow and ugly. Without Jacen, there is no reason to do anything, to try or strive or hope."
Liam is everything to Jacen. "I have news for you, Lee, I'm not going anywhere. If it takes ten years I'll still be right beside you, waiting for you, and cherishing every second I have with you and every kiss you give me and every time you make love to me."
Thank goodness there is a happy ending as I don't think my heart could have taken any more pain.
4.5 stars
December 12, 2012
I haven't read m/m in a long time, and this one was a bit hit or miss.
That said, I did feel that spark that makes me want to revisit my boy love with more frequency.
About this book:
First of all, it is two books. No. Seriously, at like 50%-ish the first plot wraps up and the sequel begins. And it bugged me. If it were seperated into 2 books it just would have flowed better for me. Also, I spent the first "book" being convinced this book would be so much cooler & better if it took place in a futuristic existance, like Gattica or something. I'm weird, but if I'm distracted by how to change a book for the better, not amazing.
That said I really loved Jacen and I liked Liam in the first book. But by the middle of the second, I was just totally confused about who he even was. And in the end, I wasn't even rooting for them to work it out.
It was... kinda strange and at times all over the place.
That said, I did feel that spark that makes me want to revisit my boy love with more frequency.
About this book:
First of all, it is two books. No. Seriously, at like 50%-ish the first plot wraps up and the sequel begins. And it bugged me. If it were seperated into 2 books it just would have flowed better for me. Also, I spent the first "book" being convinced this book would be so much cooler & better if it took place in a futuristic existance, like Gattica or something. I'm weird, but if I'm distracted by how to change a book for the better, not amazing.
That said I really loved Jacen and I liked Liam in the first book. But by the middle of the second, I was just totally confused about who he even was. And in the end, I wasn't even rooting for them to work it out.
It was... kinda strange and at times all over the place.
May 1, 2015
I have not done a review EVER..but this book is screaming at me..WOW!!! I will think on this and post one when I can think clearly..LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
October 15, 2012
Solid story. Heartbreaking and beautiful. The whole time I felt like I was viewing the story through a large picture window. All senses on full alert. I think I need to read it again.
June 23, 2012
Fantastic read, extremely well written and a terrific emotional roller coaster ride.
At the outset I was not quite sure what to expect from this book as one of its' labels is BDSM and not being really into that sort of thing I thought I would end up skim reading quite a few pages - I suppose it is there in the book but it is a very minor part of the story.
The main characters were fleshed out so well that you could almost believe you knew them personally, Liam and Jacen were so sympathetically drawn you were rooting for them from the beginning. Both men had gut wrenching stories to tell about their childhoods which are gradually told throughout the book as to how they came to be working for "The Company", a high class prostitution ring, and both were fragile and deeply flawed by their upbringings. A sign of a really good author is being able to manipulate the reader as Ms Kelling does and as it appears that she has only just begun to be published I wonder what wonderful novels will flow from this talented author in future.
Not the lightest of reads but definitely worthwhile and as the best book I have read this year so far I can not recommend it more highly.
At the outset I was not quite sure what to expect from this book as one of its' labels is BDSM and not being really into that sort of thing I thought I would end up skim reading quite a few pages - I suppose it is there in the book but it is a very minor part of the story.
The main characters were fleshed out so well that you could almost believe you knew them personally, Liam and Jacen were so sympathetically drawn you were rooting for them from the beginning. Both men had gut wrenching stories to tell about their childhoods which are gradually told throughout the book as to how they came to be working for "The Company", a high class prostitution ring, and both were fragile and deeply flawed by their upbringings. A sign of a really good author is being able to manipulate the reader as Ms Kelling does and as it appears that she has only just begun to be published I wonder what wonderful novels will flow from this talented author in future.
Not the lightest of reads but definitely worthwhile and as the best book I have read this year so far I can not recommend it more highly.
September 26, 2012
3.5 to 4 stars
Honestly I am still not quite sure what to think or how to rate this book. I am torn. On one hand the love story between Liam and Jacen was lovely, passionate, intense, caring and beautiful. On the other hand the whole book was incredibly dark sexually and extremely erotic. I mean I LOVE erotic books but ...I don't know. Was it too much? Maybe , maybe not. I don't think so....it wouldn't be the book it was, the intensity, if it wasn't that detailed erotically. I am still very glad I read it though.
I had a difficult time with the prostitution underlying the whole story. I mean I don't want to deter anyone from reading this story. There are many reasons this is in the book. I am understanding somewhat more how people end up into prostitution and my heart goes out to them. This book is truly a book of survival, self growth, self esteem, freedom, love and intense passion.
A very intense book. I'm still at a loss for words.
Honestly I am still not quite sure what to think or how to rate this book. I am torn. On one hand the love story between Liam and Jacen was lovely, passionate, intense, caring and beautiful. On the other hand the whole book was incredibly dark sexually and extremely erotic. I mean I LOVE erotic books but ...I don't know. Was it too much? Maybe , maybe not. I don't think so....it wouldn't be the book it was, the intensity, if it wasn't that detailed erotically. I am still very glad I read it though.
I had a difficult time with the prostitution underlying the whole story. I mean I don't want to deter anyone from reading this story. There are many reasons this is in the book. I am understanding somewhat more how people end up into prostitution and my heart goes out to them. This book is truly a book of survival, self growth, self esteem, freedom, love and intense passion.
A very intense book. I'm still at a loss for words.
July 12, 2016
oh wow - Liam is incredible. One of LK's best protagonists ever. The way it starts, with the scene with the cowboy and how he has to come to grips with Jacen's whole role play thing - damn, it's gorgeous. Extremely fine Lynn Kelling. I know there is no more and that is one of the reasons it has been so hard for me to finish this one, but I've got Song of the Lonesome Cowboy waiting for me and I can't start it before I finish this, so there.
June 27, 2012
Really a 3.5 star read for me. The story was well written. No obvious, glaring problems. The sex between the MCs was nice and dirty, but I didn't really connect with them. I should have been a ball of angsty nerves, and .....nothing. Maybe a twinge here and there, but not as much as the story warranted. I did read the whole story without switching to a different book, so it was definately a worthy read.
March 14, 2015
between 3.5 and 4* Two very dark and twisty people who find each other and love each other with everything their damaged souls can give. Should have been tearing my heart out... but it wasn't. It was well written, but I think the 3rd person omniscient voice just killed it for me. I don't need to know what every single character sees. Give me one or both MCs voice and I am good to go. Even so, the story itself was very good and after a few starts and stops, I couldn't put it down.
November 5, 2013
Oh. My. Goodness!
That was an eye opener
And sexy as hell
Welcome to the world of gay porn
Brilliant
Loved the story, getting to know Liam and Jacen and all their insecurities. And I especially loved the kilt xo
Ps how good would Tucker's story be??
That was an eye opener
And sexy as hell
Welcome to the world of gay porn
Brilliant
Loved the story, getting to know Liam and Jacen and all their insecurities. And I especially loved the kilt xo
Ps how good would Tucker's story be??
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