This book is really wonderful. In a world where we have endless amounts of young adult fiction, in which grown women trying to mimic the thoughts and feelings of a teenage girl, it's refreshing to read the true thoughts and feelings of an actual teenage girl. She might be a precocious one, but her diary is so genuine, so passionate, so beautifully written that I found it inspiring.
Anaïs Nin, A.N. or Linotte, as she nicknames herself in the book, is a French-Cuban immigrant that came to New York at the age of 11 from Paris by way of Barcelona. At first she despises New York. Eventually, though, she grows to love New York and even begins to forget Spanish.
But even if A.N. is an immigrant (the book is translated from the volumes she wrote in her native French tongue), she's still more privileged than most of her peers. If her family struggles financially, we don't see much of it. They take long summer vacations and attend the theater often.
Yet her world isn't without strife; she writes often to her absent father, who remained behind in Paris as a concert pianist and divorced her mother before the book even begins. She will chide him, even sometimes cruelly berating him for not writing back. We watch her gradual process from adoring her father to realizing "papa" is a flawed human being—and eventually one she hasn't seen in years.
Meanwhile her mother works to support A.N. and her two brothers. A.N. herself struggles with her duty to help her mother with household chores and spending time "dreaming" of new stories and reading.
One of the central themes of the book is this inner conflict, as she struggles to be "good" instead of "bad."
Sometimes this conflict is literal. She talks often of her Catholic faith, even as she begins to question it more and more as she grows older. Other times, she struggles with the expectations that are placed on women: to be kind, generous, upbeat, and so on. Her family encourages her to pursue her intellectual pastimes, but it's hard for her to escape the expectations of being the eldest and a young women in this world. She might not be expected to read literature, but she does.
And oh how this girl loves reading. When her mother gives her permission to buy a new book, she chooses one thoughtfully and carefully. She enthusiastically talks of stories and poems she's working on. Her effusive praise of poetry and literature would be annoying if it wasn't so earnest.
Ultimately this volume might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I really enjoyed spending time in A.N.'s world. I found myself rooting for her, hoping she'd break free from the expectations she felt bound by and become a great artist. Of course, we know she did become a well-known writer in her own right, but her journey to get there is an engaging one.