Secrets of a Very Good Marriage: Lessons from the Sea

by Sherry Suib Cohen

When Sherry Suib Cohen met her attorney/fisherman husband, she was drawn—against her will—into a world of power boats, fishing lines, and dubious baits. Frightened by the challenges of stormy waters and toothy sharks, she nonetheless learned some remarkable lessons about marriage from the exhilaration, boredom, loneliness, risk-taking, survival techniques, and, yes, sexiness she discovered at sea. Cohen’s lovely stories ring true for every relationship. Her lessons of intimacy and sensuality include these: •See the beauty in what he loves, even if it looks like ground-up fish bait.
•Spend time together: hearing about catching the shark isn’t the same as feeling the shark’s breath.
•The tides are constant, and you’d better be too.
•Love has only one sure route: unconditional support, even if you’re scared, even you have to bluff it.

From how to rock the waves of passion to how to make marriage a safe harbor, Cohen’s message is perfect for anyone in love—with another person or with the sea.

Genres: Psychology, Marriage, Nonfiction

160 pages, Hardcover

First published May 4, 1993

Reviews

[Alison]

Well, it has a hint of that Lindburgh "Gifts from the Sea" essence, but is also a bit cloying in terms of "see how good my marriage is, and yours may suck", but there are indeed some helpful thoughtful reflections on marital partnership, and fishing, and being on boats with one's spouse.

[Patrick O'Hannigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The nautical metaphor that Sherry uses throughout works surprisingly well. This is a book worth re-reading. Among the tips I thought most useful were: Tend the "superstructure" of your marriage so that it does not accumulate dry rot. Guard each other's dignity. We become what we name each other. Never take the other for granted or push him (or her) too far. Try not to try to change him or her.

From page 42: "I've often thought the truest essence of a great marriage is seeing each other as unfailingly interesting...I also believe that *wanting to come home* is key to a good marriage. You only want to come home if there's peace when you arrive."

The only problem with this wonderful and original book (first published in 1993) is that it treats God as an aside, a deity to be invoked in dire straits or as a palliative to heart-stopping fear. Beyond that, Sherry says nothing explicit about the faith lives that she and her husband Larry have (or perhaps do not have).

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this with Mark. We both liked the perspective. It was light reading in comparison to most marriage books.

[Margie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful book.