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The Diaries of Sophia Tolstoy
This first complete English translation of Tolstoy's wife's diaries presents a portrait of family life with the great writer, of the artistic and turbulent socio-political worlds of nineteenth-century Russia, and of the woman herself.
Hardcover
Published November 3, 1987
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About the author
Sofia Tolstaya
21 books43 followersSophia Andreyevna Tolstaya (née Behrs) (Russian: Со́фья Андре́евна Толста́я, sometimes Anglicised as Sophia Tolstoy), was the wife of Russian novelist and thinker Leo Tolstoy. Sophia was one of 3 daughters of physician Andrey Behrs, and Liubov Alexandrovna Behrs.
Sophia was first introduced to Leo Tolstoy in 1862, when she was 18 years old. At 34, Tolstoy was 16 years her senior. On 17 September, 1862 the couple became formally engaged, marrying a week later in Moscow. At the time of their marriage, Leo Tolstoy was already well-known as a novelist after the publication of The Cossacks.
On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave Sophia his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. In Anna Karenina, 34 year old Constantine Levin, a semi-autobiographical character behaves similarly, asking his 19 year old fiancée Kitty to read his diaries and learn of his past transgressions.
The Tolstoys had 13 children, only 8 of which survived childhood. Tolstaya tried to convince her husband to use birth control but he refused. Fortunately, the family was prosperous, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.
Tolstoya was a devoted help to her husband in his literary work. She acted as copyist of War and Peace, copying the manuscript seven times from beginning to end.
In 1887, Tolstoya took up the relatively new art of photography. She took over a thousand photographs that documented her life, including with Tolstoy, and the decline of pre-Soviet Tsarist Russia.
She was also a diarist and documented her life with Leo Tolstoy in a series of diaries which have been published in English translation.
After many years of an increasingly troubled marriage - the couple argued over Tolstoy's desire to give away all his private property - Leo left Sophia abruptly in 1910, aged 81, with his doctor, Duchan Makovicki, and daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. Tolstoy died 10 days later in a railway station, whilst Sophia was kept away from him.
Following the death of her husband, Sophia continued to live in Yasnaya Polyana and survived the Russian Revolution in relative peace. She died in 1919.
Sophia was first introduced to Leo Tolstoy in 1862, when she was 18 years old. At 34, Tolstoy was 16 years her senior. On 17 September, 1862 the couple became formally engaged, marrying a week later in Moscow. At the time of their marriage, Leo Tolstoy was already well-known as a novelist after the publication of The Cossacks.
On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave Sophia his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. In Anna Karenina, 34 year old Constantine Levin, a semi-autobiographical character behaves similarly, asking his 19 year old fiancée Kitty to read his diaries and learn of his past transgressions.
The Tolstoys had 13 children, only 8 of which survived childhood. Tolstaya tried to convince her husband to use birth control but he refused. Fortunately, the family was prosperous, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.
Tolstoya was a devoted help to her husband in his literary work. She acted as copyist of War and Peace, copying the manuscript seven times from beginning to end.
In 1887, Tolstoya took up the relatively new art of photography. She took over a thousand photographs that documented her life, including with Tolstoy, and the decline of pre-Soviet Tsarist Russia.
She was also a diarist and documented her life with Leo Tolstoy in a series of diaries which have been published in English translation.
After many years of an increasingly troubled marriage - the couple argued over Tolstoy's desire to give away all his private property - Leo left Sophia abruptly in 1910, aged 81, with his doctor, Duchan Makovicki, and daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. Tolstoy died 10 days later in a railway station, whilst Sophia was kept away from him.
Following the death of her husband, Sophia continued to live in Yasnaya Polyana and survived the Russian Revolution in relative peace. She died in 1919.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
August 7, 2025
This book albeit bulky sheds light on matters love and marriage. I love that she made an account of her life and experiences in her own words.
I am certain that Sofia’s experiences in love and marriage resonates with so many people even in the modern age.
The entries are a lot.
I wish that the entries were condensed to talk about one theme i.e marriage, love depression etc.
That said, I do realize the importance of not reducing her whole life experience to a theme i.e as being Tolstoy’s wife or only a mother. As she said in her diary “If I don’t interest him, if he sees me as a doll, merely his wife, not a human being, then I will not and cannot live like that.”
Overall, it is a good read.
I am certain that Sofia’s experiences in love and marriage resonates with so many people even in the modern age.
The entries are a lot.
I wish that the entries were condensed to talk about one theme i.e marriage, love depression etc.
That said, I do realize the importance of not reducing her whole life experience to a theme i.e as being Tolstoy’s wife or only a mother. As she said in her diary “If I don’t interest him, if he sees me as a doll, merely his wife, not a human being, then I will not and cannot live like that.”
Overall, it is a good read.
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May 1, 2024Finally finished this tome. It could be used as a doorstop :) I had no idea that either of them were so emotionally fragile, or maybe it's just her view of their emotional health as she reports it. But they lived in a time when there was no real physical health care, let alone any respectable mental health care (i mean, really, Freud?) so there was a lot of death, unnecessary death. The losses never stop for them or for anyone else they know or love. It's horrific and then there are the wars which take care of killing off everyone else. It's a wonder there was anyone left.
She makes them both sound unstable yet she sails off to see the Tzar on various occasions and other people on behalf of her husband, she runs the entire business for their property, she educates their children, she handles all their finances, and she does a million other things like make their clothes.
No wonder she is always tired. I was exhausted reading this diary.
I took notes at the beginnings of each section on what was happening around the country because it's concurrent news---pogroms everywhere, revolution, Rasputin, all of it. You would think the world was on fire.
She makes them both sound unstable yet she sails off to see the Tzar on various occasions and other people on behalf of her husband, she runs the entire business for their property, she educates their children, she handles all their finances, and she does a million other things like make their clothes.
No wonder she is always tired. I was exhausted reading this diary.
I took notes at the beginnings of each section on what was happening around the country because it's concurrent news---pogroms everywhere, revolution, Rasputin, all of it. You would think the world was on fire.
January 17, 2025
Imagine you are a woman in the 19th century, in Russia to boot, and you are intelligent and creative, but the best you can get out of life is to be married to a genius who is also super-controlling. You'd go mad, is what you'd do, and she does a heroic job of not quite doing that. There's a lot here, mostly from the last decade or so of Leo Tolstoy's life, and as she admits herself, she tended to write when she was depressed or angry rather than happy.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews