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Witch and Wombat
Over centuries, Hali has punished proud princesses, turned tough teens into toads, helped noble orphans on quest; the witch and her familiar, the wombat Bernie, have faced everything...except this.
Faced with a psychic energy shortage, a magic realm of sorcerers, dragons, and fairies must endure an invasion of tourists--from the mortal plane!
Now Hali and Bernie must guide two smug college boys, a plucky high school girl, and a totally obnoxious media critic through the perils of the enchanted forest.
But these mortals think they're in a computer simulated theme park, free to gripe at the ogres, harass the high elves, and taunt the trolls. They don't understand that the magic, monsters, and dangers are real.
And that in this vacation paradise, wannabe heroes can die...
Faced with a psychic energy shortage, a magic realm of sorcerers, dragons, and fairies must endure an invasion of tourists--from the mortal plane!
Now Hali and Bernie must guide two smug college boys, a plucky high school girl, and a totally obnoxious media critic through the perils of the enchanted forest.
But these mortals think they're in a computer simulated theme park, free to gripe at the ogres, harass the high elves, and taunt the trolls. They don't understand that the magic, monsters, and dangers are real.
And that in this vacation paradise, wannabe heroes can die...
316 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published May 1, 1994
14 people are currently reading
292 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
February 17, 2013
I read this book for the first time about 17 years ago and I enjoyed it so much that I have re-read it every couple of years since then. The poor book is now falling apart and I need to hunt down a newer copy.
It is a fun, light read. The plot, characters and world are familiar and relatable, but at the same time unique and unexpected. I loved the main character's dour attitude and black humor so much that I wanted to hug her (which she would have hated).
For years I have hoped Carolyn Cushman would come out with a sequel, or another book of any kind. If you are out there somewhere Carolyn...you have a lifelong fan in me!
It is a fun, light read. The plot, characters and world are familiar and relatable, but at the same time unique and unexpected. I loved the main character's dour attitude and black humor so much that I wanted to hug her (which she would have hated).
For years I have hoped Carolyn Cushman would come out with a sequel, or another book of any kind. If you are out there somewhere Carolyn...you have a lifelong fan in me!
August 22, 2022
This has been a favourite book of mine for around 20 years. I have read and re-read it dozens of times. It is funny, exciting, and a thoroughly engaging read. I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone.
Edit for most recent read (August 2022): I re-read this with my book club (we all got to pick a book that was our favourite... this was mine) and I'm happy to say, everyone enjoyed it. It had been a while since I'd read it last, so I was worried that there would be something problematic in it that I had forgotten about (seems to happen in 90's fantasy, it was a different time, we know better now). As always though, this book was delightful and will get re-read again and again through my life, my only negative comment is still that Cushman never wrote another book, I definitely would have read more by her.
Edit for most recent read (August 2022): I re-read this with my book club (we all got to pick a book that was our favourite... this was mine) and I'm happy to say, everyone enjoyed it. It had been a while since I'd read it last, so I was worried that there would be something problematic in it that I had forgotten about (seems to happen in 90's fantasy, it was a different time, we know better now). As always though, this book was delightful and will get re-read again and again through my life, my only negative comment is still that Cushman never wrote another book, I definitely would have read more by her.
April 29, 2015
This book is nothing but a very entertaining story. You're not going to have an epiphany, and it's unfortunately never going to win any huge literary awards. This book WILL make you laugh and sometimes that's more than enough. I don't understand why Ms Cushman doesn't write any other books, especially about Hali and Bernie.
Join our main character and titular witch Hali, and her familiar, Bernie the wombat, as they take a group of "real world" gamers on a trek through a fairy tale land of trolls, ogres, princesses locked in castle basements, and evil fairies. Oh, and the gamers think they're actually just playing a virtual reality game, which makes it a little weird, but in a good way.
Join our main character and titular witch Hali, and her familiar, Bernie the wombat, as they take a group of "real world" gamers on a trek through a fairy tale land of trolls, ogres, princesses locked in castle basements, and evil fairies. Oh, and the gamers think they're actually just playing a virtual reality game, which makes it a little weird, but in a good way.
February 25, 2018
I read this book in high school, and I have read it several times since then. It is thoroughly enjoyable, and I am pleased to report that it has stood the test of time, even with its computer references. It makes me smile, and that’s what I was looking for!
August 21, 2022
3.5*
Hali is a witch who had one desire: to have a creepy witch house that doesn't look like an iHop, and Bernie is her familiar who just likes being a crow. But business has been slow -- there just aren't as many kids wandering into Fairyland who need to be taught a moral lesson -- so when she's offered an opportunity to take over a house of her choosing for the price of guiding a group of adventures through fairyland under the guise of them thinking they're playing virtual reality game. She can't get the one-on-one touches with them as she'd want for a proper punishment, but maybe it won't be so bad. Even if Bernie's less than excited to be turned into a Wombat got marketing purposes.
Unfortunately, the other members of the fairy realm are less than enthused about this development. How is Hali supposed to show her adventurers an adventure if all the monsters of the magical realm are on strike?
This book was written in the 90s, and it absolutely reads like the books that I read as a kid in the 90s. I don't know what it is about the style that screams 90s YA fantasy (before there was really YA as a genre), but this is it. Maybe it's the VR setup for the plot. Maybe it's the dynamic of the characters. I don't know what it is, but it pressed my nostalgia buttons in a good way.
The pacing was a little wonky at times, and honestly, not a lot happens in the first 2/3rds of the book (in fact, about 1/3rd of the book is literally just Hali meeting with real estate agents and looking at houses), but honestly, it kind of works. The slow buildup helps with making the climax seem so much more intense. The characters aren't AS developed as I typically like my characters to be, but they were still fun (except for Ginny, who just kind of... Showed up and stuck around but didn't really do anything until you forgot about her).
Jaimeson's... transformation was great (in fact, our first week of our book club reading the book, before we got to it, I called him a turd, and I laughed about it for the rest of the book).
The real strength of this novel though, is in the whimsical world-building. The pacing issues work,to some extent, because all that time is spent painting a picture of this magical world where witches punish children as their 9 - 5 job, and dragons have dreams of becoming culinary masters when not accepting virgin sacrifices, and ogres just want to have damp, gross caves to come back to at the end of a hard day intentionally losing fights to Outworlders.
It is absolutely a delightful romp, which reminds me a little of The Enchanted Forest Chronicles (which I love).
Hali is a witch who had one desire: to have a creepy witch house that doesn't look like an iHop, and Bernie is her familiar who just likes being a crow. But business has been slow -- there just aren't as many kids wandering into Fairyland who need to be taught a moral lesson -- so when she's offered an opportunity to take over a house of her choosing for the price of guiding a group of adventures through fairyland under the guise of them thinking they're playing virtual reality game. She can't get the one-on-one touches with them as she'd want for a proper punishment, but maybe it won't be so bad. Even if Bernie's less than excited to be turned into a Wombat got marketing purposes.
Unfortunately, the other members of the fairy realm are less than enthused about this development. How is Hali supposed to show her adventurers an adventure if all the monsters of the magical realm are on strike?
This book was written in the 90s, and it absolutely reads like the books that I read as a kid in the 90s. I don't know what it is about the style that screams 90s YA fantasy (before there was really YA as a genre), but this is it. Maybe it's the VR setup for the plot. Maybe it's the dynamic of the characters. I don't know what it is, but it pressed my nostalgia buttons in a good way.
The pacing was a little wonky at times, and honestly, not a lot happens in the first 2/3rds of the book (in fact, about 1/3rd of the book is literally just Hali meeting with real estate agents and looking at houses), but honestly, it kind of works. The slow buildup helps with making the climax seem so much more intense. The characters aren't AS developed as I typically like my characters to be, but they were still fun (except for Ginny, who just kind of... Showed up and stuck around but didn't really do anything until you forgot about her).
Jaimeson's... transformation was great (in fact, our first week of our book club reading the book, before we got to it, I called him a turd, and I laughed about it for the rest of the book).
The real strength of this novel though, is in the whimsical world-building. The pacing issues work,to some extent, because all that time is spent painting a picture of this magical world where witches punish children as their 9 - 5 job, and dragons have dreams of becoming culinary masters when not accepting virgin sacrifices, and ogres just want to have damp, gross caves to come back to at the end of a hard day intentionally losing fights to Outworlders.
It is absolutely a delightful romp, which reminds me a little of The Enchanted Forest Chronicles (which I love).
January 12, 2012
I actually read this years ago, when it first came out. It was silly, a little snarky, and, despite some flaws, thoroughly enjoyable. A witch forced to shepherd a group of gamers through a fairy-tale world, accompanied by her familiar, a near-sighted wombat named Bernie. I'd forgotten all about it, but am looking forward to reading it again.
December 16, 2016
finally..........
July 5, 2024
This was the 90s cozy fantasy book of my dreams! A slightly grumpy, take no shit, witch and her animal familiar Bernie the wombat? What more could we want. Hali and Bernie are set to bridge the gap between the outer world and their fairytale world by taking a group of human teenagers on a campaign adventure in their world.
While the teenagers were rather insufferable (as all teenagers are) i really enjoyed their interactions with the world and Hali. This was so much fun and i really love the personas of Hali and Bernie :’) add this to your fall TBR immediately!!
While the teenagers were rather insufferable (as all teenagers are) i really enjoyed their interactions with the world and Hali. This was so much fun and i really love the personas of Hali and Bernie :’) add this to your fall TBR immediately!!
August 31, 2022
A witch is contracted by a troll to guide a small group of real world players on what the players think is a virtual RPG but is actually a real journey through a magical realm. This book is humorous, satirical, and at times pretty ridiculously absurd, but a lot of fun all the way through. It makes fun of itself for seeming to not have much direction at first, but if you stick with it you’ll see how it all comes together towards the end, and everything that has happened so far, most of which just seems goofy, actually does matter to the story.
July 20, 2017
I'm stuck between 1 and 2 stars. I like the premise and I would watch the crap out of it, if it was movie. I just found it treacherous and it felt lengthy when it's only over 300 pages. It was good in the beginning and good at the end, but you have to suffer through the middle and that was very, very hard to do. Almost two weeks! Two! That's a long time to read a book at this length.
June 14, 2025
I read this book years ago when it first came out. I pull it out every now and again and re-read it. It came out during a time when it was "the thing" to take modern D&D players and put them into a fantasy setting and tell them "survive". (like Joel Rosenberg's "Guardian of the Flame" series)
This book, however, took a different route...bringing in the players and making them believe, at first, that they were in a game...a live action computer game. And Hali...love her...because she is SO DONE with all of these pretentious people...from the top down to the peeps coming in for the game. And Bernie makes the story complete.
This is an excellent story, one that gets very real, very quick...especially once the players figure out: This isn't a game and they do stand to lose everything...including their lives...
I highly recommend the read!
This book, however, took a different route...bringing in the players and making them believe, at first, that they were in a game...a live action computer game. And Hali...love her...because she is SO DONE with all of these pretentious people...from the top down to the peeps coming in for the game. And Bernie makes the story complete.
This is an excellent story, one that gets very real, very quick...especially once the players figure out: This isn't a game and they do stand to lose everything...including their lives...
I highly recommend the read!
August 26, 2023
The cover is amazing but the plot is thin and I don't like the comedy.
The plot of "fantasy land is dying because there are no popular fantasy movies, TV shows, or videogames" doesn't hold up in 2023.
The witch's motivation is charming (she wants a new witch's hut because her current one given by the government looks like an IHOP and is resisting magic), but everything else was cringe or didn't make sense. Jumanji sequels did the "fall into a videogame" much better.
The plot of "fantasy land is dying because there are no popular fantasy movies, TV shows, or videogames" doesn't hold up in 2023.
The witch's motivation is charming (she wants a new witch's hut because her current one given by the government looks like an IHOP and is resisting magic), but everything else was cringe or didn't make sense. Jumanji sequels did the "fall into a videogame" much better.
April 18, 2018
I gave up halfway through. It's a good concept but descriptions of places and things took away from the story as it would go on for pages and pages. I gave up when 2+ pages was about the different real estate that the witch could have. Completely unnecessary. Really dissapointed as some of the humour was really great.
February 23, 2023
As much as I love the premise, the main character, and her wombat familiar, I absolutely hated the supporting cast, the obligation to follow them around, and just couldn't care about saving the plane this time around. I've tried multiple times to finish and every time it feels like a slog to nowhere and not very quickly. This book wasn't my cup of tea.
December 17, 2019
The first time I read this, about 5 years ago now, I really liked it and would have rated it 4 stars. Now, however, I think that my reading standards have increased and while I still enjoyed it I probably won't be reading it again.
July 20, 2020
I loved this book, and wish there were sequels! I have re-read it many times and it is on my consideration list to purchase on kindle for my back-up reading material (old favorites that I can always re-read!)
July 14, 2024
Bonkers pacing, not good characters. Really resolved ending though. Some good bits, too much bickering. Did not have the momentum I wanted. Arduous fluff at times, at its best it can play with these 90’s tropes and ideals well. I can see an enriching adaptation of this for the silver screen.
February 15, 2018
quite dated now but still very funny
June 5, 2018
A hilarious read. I have read this book before, and still love it.
March 31, 2019
weird but i absolutely loved it! the idea was pretty cool and the author executed it pretty well. absolutely recommended for people wanting something new
August 26, 2022
Read this many, many years ago and thought it was delightful. Always made me want to have a wombat as a pet.
April 19, 2023
Fun read. It had a strong start for me but about midway through the story dragged for me. It was still a fun romp with TTRPG players LARPing in a fantasy world.
March 25, 2024
Read it ages ago and remember it fondly enough that while dusting my shelves I stopped to see if she’d written anything else.
October 26, 2025
Charming and a fun play on fantasy tropes.
December 17, 2022
Trigger Warning:
Brief mentions of sexual slavery
Violence
Over centuries, Hali has punished proud princesses, turned tough teens into toads, helped noble orphans on quest; the witch and her familiar, the wombat Bernie, have faced everything...except this.
Faced with a psychic energy shortage, a magic realm of sorcerers, dragons, and fairies must endure an invasion of tourists--from the mortal plane!
Now Hali and Bernie must guide two smug college boys, a plucky high school girl, and a totally obnoxious media critic through the perils of the enchanted forest.
But these mortals think they're in a computer-simulated theme park, free to gripe at the ogres, harass the high elves, and taunt the trolls. They don't understand that the magic, monsters, and dangers are real.
And that in this vacation paradise, wannabe heroes can die...
There is the summary from the back of the book. Enjoy.
Okay, so. I love this book. Fucking love it. It was published in 1994 and I picked up a used copy at a flea market when I was a kid and have read it probably every year since. It is just a fun read. There is a small romantic subplot, but nothing major.
Hali is a witch who I adore and Bernie is her familiar who starts out as a crow but gets transformed into a wombat because people like wombats. They have to show four Outworlers around the fantasy land they live in. Those Outworlders are Oliver, a competent gamer and pretty realistic in his abilities, Leo, one of those gamers that blames his incompetence on the game, Tracey, a teenage girl with a good heart and a good head on her shoulders, and Jamison, an overly harsh critic (think those YouTubers that just bitch about everything).
The characters are all fleshed out nicely with their own personalities that make you either like them or not. And there are plenty of characters to meet. I loved Hali and Bernie. And I loved Tracey because she was a girl gamer. Remember, this was the 90s. I'm reading this shit when I'm in middle school for the first time. And there is a girl, who likes video games. That was revolutionary for me. Even though Tracey is a total horse girl which ugh. But she is a good character and I did like her a lot.
I loved the world-building. The writer brought in a lot of fairy tale and fantasy elements that just worked. I cannot remember a lot of the character descriptions, though that is more of a me thing. I tend to remember one or two details of characters unless they are repeated and then fill in the blanks my memory gives me. That is a me thing, there might have been great character descriptions.
Now, in the beginning, there is no clear plot. The gamers have no goal to achieve, which makes them all cranky. But Hali decides since she is getting a new house out of the deal, she might as well check out some real estate listings as they travel. Which is so amusing to me. Honestly, I would have read an entire book of her checking out houses and the gamers having mini adventures at each stop. Two houses they check out are the witch's house from Hansel and Gretel and Baba Yaga's house. Which, awesome. But a goal to achieve does make itself known, and they defeat the evil and save the day.
Great book. I highly recommend reading it. Though... It's only available used or on Kindle. Which I am tempted to buy a copy for my Kindle since my physical copy is starting to fall apart.
Brief mentions of sexual slavery
Violence
Over centuries, Hali has punished proud princesses, turned tough teens into toads, helped noble orphans on quest; the witch and her familiar, the wombat Bernie, have faced everything...except this.
Faced with a psychic energy shortage, a magic realm of sorcerers, dragons, and fairies must endure an invasion of tourists--from the mortal plane!
Now Hali and Bernie must guide two smug college boys, a plucky high school girl, and a totally obnoxious media critic through the perils of the enchanted forest.
But these mortals think they're in a computer-simulated theme park, free to gripe at the ogres, harass the high elves, and taunt the trolls. They don't understand that the magic, monsters, and dangers are real.
And that in this vacation paradise, wannabe heroes can die...
There is the summary from the back of the book. Enjoy.
Okay, so. I love this book. Fucking love it. It was published in 1994 and I picked up a used copy at a flea market when I was a kid and have read it probably every year since. It is just a fun read. There is a small romantic subplot, but nothing major.
Hali is a witch who I adore and Bernie is her familiar who starts out as a crow but gets transformed into a wombat because people like wombats. They have to show four Outworlers around the fantasy land they live in. Those Outworlders are Oliver, a competent gamer and pretty realistic in his abilities, Leo, one of those gamers that blames his incompetence on the game, Tracey, a teenage girl with a good heart and a good head on her shoulders, and Jamison, an overly harsh critic (think those YouTubers that just bitch about everything).
The characters are all fleshed out nicely with their own personalities that make you either like them or not. And there are plenty of characters to meet. I loved Hali and Bernie. And I loved Tracey because she was a girl gamer. Remember, this was the 90s. I'm reading this shit when I'm in middle school for the first time. And there is a girl, who likes video games. That was revolutionary for me. Even though Tracey is a total horse girl which ugh. But she is a good character and I did like her a lot.
I loved the world-building. The writer brought in a lot of fairy tale and fantasy elements that just worked. I cannot remember a lot of the character descriptions, though that is more of a me thing. I tend to remember one or two details of characters unless they are repeated and then fill in the blanks my memory gives me. That is a me thing, there might have been great character descriptions.
Now, in the beginning, there is no clear plot. The gamers have no goal to achieve, which makes them all cranky. But Hali decides since she is getting a new house out of the deal, she might as well check out some real estate listings as they travel. Which is so amusing to me. Honestly, I would have read an entire book of her checking out houses and the gamers having mini adventures at each stop. Two houses they check out are the witch's house from Hansel and Gretel and Baba Yaga's house. Which, awesome. But a goal to achieve does make itself known, and they defeat the evil and save the day.
Great book. I highly recommend reading it. Though... It's only available used or on Kindle. Which I am tempted to buy a copy for my Kindle since my physical copy is starting to fall apart.
June 26, 2016
One of my favorite books. Humorous fantasy is a tricky genre, but Witch and Wombat handles it deftly. Hali, our Witch, is ill-tempered and caustic and a great deal of fun—as well as a rather brilliant take on the nature of the fairy-tale witch. Bernie, our Wombat, is the perfect sidekick, without being utterly flat. The party of adventurers she shepherds (roughly) through the story feel like people you could meet in fannish or gaming circles, clearly archetypes but still likeable in their earnest, awkward, or obnoxious cluelessness. A little light on plot, but it makes up for it with the great charm of its characters and its concept.
July 27, 2016
Humorous light fantasy -- recommended
Business has been slow for Hali, and she's stuck in an irritatingly tidy A-frame with a blue plastic roof. When her boss Bentwood comes up with a scheme to lure fantasy gamers to the Inner World as tourists, she agrees to help in exchange for a properly spooky witch's hut...
There are few surprises in this first novel, but the cheerful tone and amusing skits keep the pages turning. Ms. Cushman is perhaps better-known for her monthly column in Locus, where she reviews books much like the one she has written --though most of those are not so well done.
Business has been slow for Hali, and she's stuck in an irritatingly tidy A-frame with a blue plastic roof. When her boss Bentwood comes up with a scheme to lure fantasy gamers to the Inner World as tourists, she agrees to help in exchange for a properly spooky witch's hut...
There are few surprises in this first novel, but the cheerful tone and amusing skits keep the pages turning. Ms. Cushman is perhaps better-known for her monthly column in Locus, where she reviews books much like the one she has written --though most of those are not so well done.
January 3, 2011
I picked this up at a smalltown used book store as it looked fun and cute. The premise was fun and had alot of potential but fell very short. The characters spent more time shopping and complaining about lodging arangements than questing and exploring. I got so bored that I actually stopped reading three quarters of teh way through. Here's hoping I didn't miss anything in the last bit.
If you're looking to pick up older fantasy novels for a fun and cute read you can pass this one. The fun dies out pretty quickly.
If you're looking to pick up older fantasy novels for a fun and cute read you can pass this one. The fun dies out pretty quickly.
February 13, 2017
I really wanted to like this book. I did read the Kindle version, and it was obviously OCR with some editing. There were a lot of places where a word wasn't caught by a spellcheck because it was a word, just the wrong one. That was kind of jarring.
I only read about a quarter of the way through because of the blatant sizeism. There's a fat character who is meant to be the comic relief. Everyone hates him. He is arrogant, greedy, and stupid. It's lazy writing and offensive to fat people. I wouldn't read a book with a black character who ate only watermelon and fried chicken either.
I only read about a quarter of the way through because of the blatant sizeism. There's a fat character who is meant to be the comic relief. Everyone hates him. He is arrogant, greedy, and stupid. It's lazy writing and offensive to fat people. I wouldn't read a book with a black character who ate only watermelon and fried chicken either.
February 23, 2011
This is a marvelous book the concept of guided tours of fairyland was so funny. The witch who had to use a disguise spell to hide how pretty she was was such a marvelous conceit. Unfortunately I have never been in an IHOP that was as clean as the one she picked for her hut
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews